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Why does it seem like pop icons have such an appeal to gay men? Are we simply drawn to the music, or is there a deeper emotional connection?
In this episode, we’re looking into some historically significant gay anthems while discussing our iconic pop queens and their gay appeal.
Additional Resources:
Snarky Opener (0:00)
So basically, these legends appeal to every one of our gay emotions.
Like feeling heartbroken, empowered, sexual? There's a pop queen for that.
And if you find a song that hits all those emotions where you can shake your ass and feel sexy while crying over a breakup, then you've achieved gay nirvana.
Episode Introduction (0:36)
Hello, my LGBTQuties, and welcome back to another episode of A Jaded Gay. I'm Rob Loveless and today, I am a jaded gay because I had a very unfortunate gym encounter this week.
Over the past few months, there's been this guy at the gym that I feel like he's been, like, giving me dirty looks. And you know when you feel, like, you see a group of people talking and laughing, and you get paranoid and think, are they talking about me?
I've kind of gotten that vibe from him when he's talking to his friends. Like he'll always find a way to end up near a machine that I'm on and then talk to the guy next to him and, like, his voice is really low. And I just have been sensing these, like, awkward glances over my way.
But I'm anxious and paranoid. So, I figured maybe I'm just making too much out of it. But the other day at the gym, I was on a piece of equipment. He was with his friends near another piece of equipment on the other end of the aisle. And they were talking and laughing. And I noticed, again, he was looking over.
So, I got a little paranoid and decided to just pause my music to see if I could hear what he was saying. And he ended up walking past me and walking to his other friend, who was on the equipment right next to me, and literally goes "Two words for you. Ho-mo."
And, like, okay, let's address the elephant in the room. Homo is one word, you fucking idiot.
I mean, and here I am, a few days later. It's easy for me to make jokes about it and act all tough and, you know, fuck you, this and that, whatever. But in that moment, I still felt very embarrassed. I could feel my face growing hot. And I felt ashamed because being called a name like that, it's not the same as just when a bully's calling you fat or ugly or stupid.
You know, the word homo, faggot, things like that, they all carry a really heavy weight that goes back to the root of our shame and trauma from childhood when we knew those things were bad. It wasn't just an insult that you call somebody. It was really like one of the worst insults you could call them because to be gay was to be wrong and to be bad.
So, just it caused all those bad feelings to resurface. I mean, and in the grand scheme of things, there's so many worse things you call me than a homo, so be a little bit more original.
But at the same time, it's 2022. There's 45-year-old washed-up tools at the gym who are still feeling the audacity to just kind of say these things to complete strangers. Like I've never talked to him. I don't know anything about him. I don't look his way because, believe me, cupcake is not my type.
But he still just feels like he can go out of his way to do that. So, fuck him, whatever. But just kind of put me in a little bit of a funk this week.
But to turn things around. I'm really excited about the topic we'll be talking about today.
Pop Icons and Their Gay Emotional Appeal (2:49)
We're going to be talking about why gay men are so obsessed with pop music and their pop queens. So hopefully, it'll be a little bit lighter.
Don't worry, we'll still be touching upon trauma. You know, there's a theme with all these episodes. We like to get deep into the emotional health.
But we'll be looking at it through the lens of pop culture and music. Before we jump into the topic, as always, we're going to pull our tarot card for the episode.
Tarot (3:09)
Oh shit, we drew Death in reverse. So today is probably going to be a short episode because we gon' die. No, but in all honesty, people get nervous about the Death card, but it doesn't literally translate to death.
Usually, Death is actually tied to the end of a cycle because, if you think about it, death is the ultimate transformation. A cycle of release that leads to rebirth.
The Death card is the number 13. So, we're just bringing in all that bad luck today. But in numerology, the numbers only go up to 10. So, when you go beyond 10, you add those numbers together.
So, for 13, we'd add together one plus three, which equals four. And in numerology, the number four ties back to structure and stability, so really not too bad.
In astrology, Death is tied to Scorpio, which translates to transformation, power, and protection. Just a little explanation real quick about when you draw a reverse card, because I think this is the first one we've drawn.
A reversal is basically when you pull the card, and it's facing away from you. So, it's looking upside down. So, when it's reversed, the meaning of the card changes. Now, it doesn't necessarily mean it's the opposite of what the upright meaning is, but it just reverses the energy of that card.
So usually, when you draw the Death card in reverse, it's usually indicating that you're clinging to the past or refusing to change. So basically, this card is a reminder that surrendering to change can be scary but that resisting the cycle that we're currently in can only amplify the pain.
And you know, I think that meaning there is very fitting for the episode today because when I read that I immediately thought of the song Better the Devil You Know by Kylie Minogue, one of my favorite pop queens of all time. She's slept on a lot.
And it comes from the idiom meaning it's better the devil you know than the devil you don't know, which basically means, you know, when you're in a bad situation, it might be easy to convince yourself it's okay to stay in that situation because it's scarier of not knowing what's out there.
It's easier to settle for what doesn't feel good or what's quote-unquote comfortable because you've been in it for so long. And it's easier to do that than moving to a new situation where things could be better, but you're also afraid that could be much worse.
So again, this card is reminding us that we need to let go, trust ourselves, and trust the universe and not let things hold us back. We need to let go of anything we're clinging on to in the past and allow ourselves to move forward.
So, keep that in mind as we go through today's episode. Obviously, we always talk about trauma, so there's that direct correlation between letting go of the past and that trauma.
But as we talk through some of the reasons why gay men are so attracted to pop music and pop queens, you might hear some things actually resonate with you. So, think of how you can carry that tarot card into your practice and how you can break whatever cycle you might be in and move on.
Observations on Pop Queens Resonating with Gay Men (5:35)
Okay, so it's no secret that gay men love pop music. I mean, growing up watching TRL, things like that, whenever Britney or Christina or any of those girls performed, you'd obviously see those gay men that are screaming, going crazy.
Like when all those girls lost their minds watching the Beatles perform. And growing up, I knew that there were certain songs and artists that only girls could listen to. Because if guys listened to it, it was gay.
So, the guys had to listen more to the rock, music, grunge, all that. And the girls could listen to the pop music, which always confused me because I've always liked pop music. And I didn't understand how listening to a certain artist made me gay.
And I didn't understand the correlation between, well, you know, Britney Spears, for example, has a large gay following. So, if you're a guy who likes her, you must be gay. Like, it just didn't make sense to me.
But as I got older, I really kind of saw that and understood it more with Lady Gaga when she came out. I was in, I think, like 10th grade when she came out with Just Dance. And obviously, around that time, you know, in high school, you're starting to realize that there are people who are gay.
You're starting to understand yourself a little bit more. So, you really kind of saw how she attracted those gay audiences. You know, Lady Gaga was somebody that I actually really followed quite a bit in high school and college.
More so than, like, I think she was like the first pop star I let myself actually kind of follow her music. And I think I justified it because while she was a pop queen, she was also kind of weird and out there. So, I kind of justified as, like, oh, I love the weirdness of this. I like, you know, it just fit for me.
But obviously, it was closeted in high school. And I noticed, though, that whenever I would watch any of her performances, there were obviously a ton of gay men there. And it did make me nervous that oh because I liked her, does that mean I'm gay?
And I definitely kept it for most people, other than, you know, my closest friends and family, that I liked Lady Gaga because I didn't want people assuming that I was gay or rumors going around at school about me.
But through kind of becoming obsessed with Lady Gaga and following her interviews and watching her performances and all that, I did start wondering, why does it seem like gay men gravitate to these big icons?
In high school, I didn't really listen to her, but I knew that gay men pretty much worshipped Madonna. She was one of the original pop Queens. And so, I knew that there were these figures in pop culture that seemed to be staples for gay men that they were drawn to.
But I always wondered, what was that reasoning? Was it just because they liked the music? And why didn't straight men like that music the same way? Because I did notice that between me and my straight friends, like, they didn't really care too much about Lady Gaga.
You know, they didn't dislike her, but they weren't going out of their way to listen to her music. So anyway, through coming out, obviously, I allowed myself to be open more to a lot of those gay icons and kind of wasn't afraid to listen to the music I wanted to.
But I never really thought about, again, why certain songs seem to resonate with the gay community.
Straight Jacket by Matthew Todd (8:17)
So then, in 2018, I read this book, you know, I love my gay literature. It's called Straight Jacket by Matthew Todd. I definitely recommend it.
It's kind of in a similar lens to The Velvet Rage of kind of overcoming some of the shame and trauma of growing up gay. But Matthew Todd, he was actually the editor of Attitude, which is a British gay lifestyle magazine. And he was the editor there from 2008 to 2016.
He published his book in, I believe, June of 2016 to talk about the psychological effect that prejudice has on LGBT people and overcoming that.
Now, the book I have is called Straight Jacket: How to Be Gay and Happy. But it looks like subsequent reprints are subtitled Overcoming Society's Legacy of Gay Shame. Anyway, check it out, really good read.
But, like I said, in this book it actually touched upon the part about why gay men are drawn to entertainment and pop culture.
And it was the first time that I really ever kind of stumbled upon that other than just my own ruminations of why there was that correlation between gay men loving the pop icons.
Why Do Gay Men Love Pop Queens? (9:13)
So, this book kind of answers the question of why gay men love arts, theater, and pop queens. So, I'm going to read an excerpt here from the book:
"The simple answer, as may well be obvious by now, is because at a time when we are overwhelmed by the danger of our existence, clutching for a rope to pull us out of the pit of fear, the shiny, unreal neon world of artifice, of glamour, of making something beautiful out of the dullness offers us a way to escape. To disconnect from reality."
So, he goes on to explain that fantasy is often the first way we disassociate from the world around us. And the need to escape from unacceptability is what drives this.
So, I'm going to read another quote here:
"It is music that offers many of us a safe space for the expression of things which, as children, we weren't allowed to express, and as adults, we're often too scared to explore."
And I think that's a really interesting concept because I remember the first album I ever owned was Baby One More Time by Britney Spears. I was five years old, loved that song, loved the album.
I would roll my T-shirt up into a crop top, like Britney Spears, and dance around the Baby One More Time. And my parents thought it was cute. I was five years old at the time, they thought I was just imitating her.
There wasn't really a concern there of, oh, this is kind of feminine for him, you know. So, it was kind of a time that, as a kid, I could just explore that without worry from society. It was me just imitating a cute little pop star. And it wasn't, it wasn't seen as being gay or being feminine.
And I mean, as an adult today, I don't know if I would have the courage to roll up my shirt and wear a crop top. One, because I'm body conscious and I get nervous showing my stomach. But two, because I get nervous of what society would think.
You know would I want to wear crop tops for myself? Do I think that's a good look for me? I don't know, maybe. But ultimately, if I wore a crop top out in public, I know what people would think about me.
Madonna’s Impact on Matthew Todd (11:00)
So, going back to Straight Jacket, Matthew Todd says it's this music that keeps us alive and in turn, we can become obsessed with the people associated with it. So, for him, he talks about his quote-unquote obsession with Madonna.
He saw her first perform in the summer of 1990. And he described her as this hypersexual woman telling a packed stadium full of the kind of suburban people he had lived with his whole life to essentially fuck off.
And through seeing that, he realized he had the possibility of fighting back and not feeling ashamed of his sexuality. So, as one does, he became obsessed with Madonna. He bought a CD player, he bought all her albums, he would put posters of her on his wall, he'd watch all her interviews and learn her choreography.
And he goes on to say that over the last 30 years, we can see a trend in the kind of pop music that is popular with gay audiences because of the way it expresses our emotional needs.
And obviously, there was kind of a stereotypical trend that it was these strong, empowered women that, you know, attracted gay men. But it's not just that stereotypical pop star who are typically tied to gay appeal. It's those that, either through their music or their personal lives, have shown vulnerability and victimhood.
And it's not really surprising since a lot of us were told we were wrong and immoral and bad growing up. So, it's really no wonder that the themes in our pop queens' music is so appealing to us as gay men.
Pop Queens’ Four Categories of Emotional Appeal to Gay Men (12:17)
So, Matthew Todd goes on to break down the pop attraction into four categories of emotions that we, as gay men, are drawn to:
So, the first is an assertion of aggressive sexuality.
And he listed a couple songs for each of these categories that kind of fit into that. So, for this, he used examples of the song Dirrty by Christina Aguilera and Hot Stuff by Donna Summer.
The next category is escape through music.
You can think of songs like Vogue by Madonna and Just Dance by Lady Gaga.
The next one is empowerment/I'm too good for you.
So, we have songs like Single Ladies by Beyonce, Believe by Cher, and of course, the classic I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor.
And then there's I'm not good enough for you/victim.
And you can think of the song Dancing on My Own by Robin.
So, another part of this book that really jumped out to me, he wrote that the gay appeal of certain artists isn't because we know they had difficult lives. It's because we sense in them the vulnerability and strength that we have, too.
The dysfunction that often pans out into difficult personal lives, the way it does for some of us. Like is drawn to like.
So, he goes on to say that he was attracted to Madonna because subconsciously, he could sense her anger, defiance, and childhood trauma, which resonated with him, and he argues that this is true for most of the performers who attract gay audiences.
So, a couple examples he lists in his book, Madonna said her ambition was driven by feeling unloved after the death of her mother. Barbra Streisand said she felt unloved and ugly. And Lady Gaga has even broken down into tears on stage and said she didn't feel good enough growing up.
And I think a lot of us can kind of hear those examples and feel them in ourselves for things we went through, whether it was not feeling loved or feeling ugly because we were different from the rest of our peers.
Or feeling like we weren't good enough growing up because of our upbringing. Maybe we thought we were wrong or immoral.
Or even going back to The Velvet Rage, feeling like we have to be a perfectionist and achieve ultimate success because we feel unloved and using that kind of sense of shame to drive the success. Not because we want to be successful but because we feel like we need to prove something.
So, after going through that list, those are probably songs, you know, you could probably sense those themes in those songs and understand how they tie back to those categories. And obviously, some of those women jump out as gay icons.
But before we dive deeper into our pop queens, I want to explore those themes and emotions that basically attract gay audiences.
Themes Around Queer Anthems & Girl Power (12:45)
So, I found a Forbes article from 2011 that is discussing Lady Gaga's Born This Way.
I can't believe it came out all those years already. I remember I was a senior in high school when that came out. But basically, as they were dissecting her Born This Way song, they were also exploring gay anthems and girl power and the themes around those.
So, the Forbes article listed a few themes of components of pop songs that typically drew gay audiences. They included:
So, from there, I wanted to look up some widely known gay anthems and explore the themes within those. I went to Wikipedia. Obviously, take that with a grain of salt, but I found that they actually had a pretty thorough list of historically significant gay anthems.
Now, I will say going through these, some of them I didn't recognize. Some of them, I think, are a little bit of a stretch. I will say Baby One More Time and a lot of Britney's bigger songs are not on there. So, what the fuck are you doing, Wikipedia?
So, with that in mind, I went through and I pulled definitely the larger ones that are widely recognized that you'll probably know and can definitely see those themes in them.
A 1920 Queer Anthem (15:51)
But I wanted to start off, interestingly enough, the first song on their list is from 1920. It's a German song I've never heard of.
It's called Das Lila Lied, which I don't speak German. So, I'm just assuming I crushed that pronunciation. But it translates to The Lavender Song, and it's by Marek Weber.
Now, looking into the song's history, it's really interesting, actually, because the song was released during the Weimar Republic, which was when the German state functioned as a federal constitutional republic from 1918 to 1933.
And during this time, the government actually established basic democratic rights that covered the LGBT community. So that's pretty groundbreaking. Like over 100 years ago, there was, and in Germany, of all places, there was this republic in place that was actually putting out some basic protections for the LGBT community.
But just wait to hear this because this next part is even more interesting. This song was actually written after the Institute of Sexual Science made worldwide news with its first international conference for sexual reform, which called for regulations on sexual behavior to be based on science instead of religion or other unscientific traditions.
So, I think this is something the US might want to make note of.
Anyway, I'm gonna read through these lyrics. Obviously, it's German, so it might not translate 100%. But I think when you hear this, you'll really see the connection of gay pride and seeing this as a true gay anthem:
"What do they want?
Is this culture
that every human is outlawed
who is – wise and well –
however with blood
of their own kind perfused
that nevertheless this
category
is banned by the law,
who is in feeling
in pleasure and playing
and in its kind related?
And still, most of us are proud,
to be cut from different cloth!
We are just different from the others
who are being loved only in lockstep of morality
who wander curiously through a thousand wonders
and who are only up to the trivial.
But we do not know what the feeling is
since we are all children of a different kind of world
we only love lavender night, who is sultry
because we are just different from the others!
Why the torment
to impose
morals of others on us?
We listen to this,
are what we are,
even if they want to hang us.
But who thinks,
that we are going to be hanged
for that one, we would have to feel sorry
but soon, listen up,
all of a sudden
our sun will be shining too.
Then we will have contended successfully for our rights
we will not suffer anymore, but we will be tolerated!"
So, pretty groundbreaking for 1920s Germany if you ask me.
Queer Anthems (18:22)
But now, jumping ahead to some other gay anthems you'll definitely recognize.
Let's kick it off with 1939's Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Judy Garland. And I mean, anytime you have the word rainbow in the song, 90% sure it's going to be gay.
Obviously, we know the song is from The Wizard of Oz, which is a gay movie in and of itself. We'll jump into it later. But this song and the film gained such a following that gay men would use the phrase friends of Dorothy to refer to themselves in the late 1950s.
Also, another gay anthem, 1954 The Man That Got Away by Judy Garland. Classic. Love it. Next up, we have You Don't Own Me by Lesley Gore, which came out in 1964. Dancing Queen by ABBA in 1976. And truthfully, any song by ABBA is pretty gay.
I Feel Love by Donna Summer, 1977. YMCA by The Village People in 1978. I'm Coming Out by Diana Ross, 1980. Like, really, is there even a question about if that song's gay? Vogue by Madonna in 1990. Emotions by Mariah Carey, 1991.
Oh, my queen now, Can't Get You Out of My Head by Kylie Minogue from 2001. Beautiful by Christina Aguilera in 2002. Which, honestly that's another huge gay anthem. I think actually Elton John said that it was going to become the modern-day I Will Survive.
We have Gimme More by Britney Spears in 2007. As soon as you hear the words, "It's Britney, bitch" you're ready to fuck shit up. Obviously Born This Way by Lady Gaga in 2011. Run the World Girls by Beyonce, also from 2011. Into You by Ariana Grande, 2016. Montero by Lil Nas X, 2021.
And again, obviously, this list is subjective. These are widely recognized gay anthems, but there's a ton of other ones here that may not be included. Everybody has their own queens. Everybody has their own gay songs that resonate with them.
But just through going through that list, I'm sure you know these songs and that you can also kind of identify the themes that they fall into. And unsurprisingly, most of the songs are by female singers.
So, with that being said, let's take a look at some of the women who are widely considered to be gay icons in pop music.
Judy Garland (20:19)
I'm going to kick us off with who I consider to be one of the original gay icons. In fact, according to those pop honors that they bestow upon our legends, she was named The World's Greatest Entertainer, and I'm talking about the one and only Judy Garland.
So, she was largely considered to be a gay icon because of her vocal ability, her presence as a performer, her value as a camp figure, and truthfully, maybe above all else, her personal struggles, which seemed to mirror gay men in America during the height of her fame.
So, a lot of you probably know Judy Garland from The Wizard of Oz, and depending on your age, that might be all you know her from. For those of you who don't know, she had a really tragic life. I mean, it's really sad.
Compared to other Hollywood stars at the time, she was considered to be the ugly duckling. She was constantly told that she wasn't attractive, that she was fat. She even had to have nose discs put in during movies to have her nose shaped a certain way.
You know, she started out young in the industry. And just like a lot of other child stars in Hollywood at the time, she had a lot of substance abuse issues because, for child actors back in the day, they were actually giving them uppers to have them be super enthusiastic and energetic when they performed their songs and their numbers, all that.
And then, obviously, because these kids were so high on these uppers, their managers would actually give them barbiturates and other downers to help them sleep at night. So, they're being drugged to be awake and to perform.
And then, they were being drugged to go to sleep because they couldn't fall asleep naturally. You know, and it was something that went on for her. She struggled with addiction her whole life. I know she had a drinking problem. She actually attempted suicide, and she died tragically young. I think she was only 47.
I think with Judy Garland, you can see two themes in her music.
One, we have that sense of escapism, a fantasy of that needing to escape from the reality we're in through songs like Somewhere Over the Rainbow were in another world, like the Wizard of Oz, where it's super colorful and happy. You know, somewhere beyond pain and all that.
And then, on the other hand, you also have the not feeling good enough, heartbroken, and unloved theme, which you can see in her song, The Man That Got Away, which is a personal favorite of mine.
And actually, I think I should point out that when I was writing up these notes yesterday, I was listening to Judy live at Carnegie Hall. So hey, way to be a stereotype.
But obviously, we all know Somewhere Over the Rainbow. For those of you who don't know The Man That Got Away, I'm just going to read through some of these lyrics:
"The night is bitter
The stars have lost their glitter
The winds grow colder
Suddenly you're older
And all because of the man that got away
No more his eager call
The writing's on the wall
The dreams you've dreamed have all gone astray
No more that all-time thrill
For you've been through the mill
And never a new love will be the same
The road gets rougher
It's lonelier and tougher
With hope you burn up
Tomorrow he will turn up
There's just no let-up
The livelong night and day
Ever since this world began
There is nothing sadder than
A one-man woman
Looking for the man that got away."
And kind of going off of these points, in an article for Esquire, William Goldman said that the enemy of gay men is age, which he's not lying.
But he also said that Judy Garland encompasses perennial youth over the rainbow. And then he actually went on to touch upon the piece of why gay men relate to her in terms of tragedy. I'm going to read an excerpt from the article:
"Homosexuals tend to identify with suffering. They are a persecuted group, and they understand suffering. And so does Garland. She's been through the fire and lived. All the drinking and divorcing, all the pills, and all the men. All the poundage come and gone."
And again, I think she's one of the original gay icons that, kind of through the test of time, gay men still flock to her. And I'd argue more than other Hollywood starlets from that time.
Cher (23:58)
So, moving on, we're going to be talking about The Goddess of Pop herself. Give it up for Cher.
Cher has cemented herself as a gay icon thanks to her decades-long career and longevity. I mean, honestly, think about this.
She has had hit after hit through all the decades and has reinvented herself through different audiences. And she's done it with a killer fashion sense, may I add.
So, before diving into the music, I'm going to touch upon her fashion sense and her camp persona. I'm sure a lot of you know she's often imitated by drag queens.
Actually, my friend Sara and I, we went to go see a live podcast episode. And at the end of the show, the host actually said they had a special surprise for the audience, and they had invited Cher to come out.
And there was a Cher drag performer dancing to Woman's World with her gladiator background dancers. Super muscley. Very hot.
But I mean, my friend Sara and I were in the front row, and this performer, this queen, looked so much like her. Super convincing.
My friend Sara wasn't convinced it wasn't her. I actually had to Google it after the fact, and I was like, no, Sara. Cher's in Toronto performing her like, you know, 50th Farewell Tour. This wasn't her. This was actually a drag queen.
But I mean, it goes without saying she's, go to any gay bar, go to any, you know, drag event whatever. You're guaranteed to see a drag queen paying homage to Cher. And I think this piece is interesting.
She's actually considered one of the first to bring drag to the mainstream. Back in 1979, she hired two drag queens to perform with her at her Las Vegas residency.
And according to Salon Magazine's Thomas Rogers, drag queens imitate women like Judy Garland, Dolly Parton, and Cher because they overcame insult and hardship on their path to success. And because their narratives mirror the pain that many gay men suffer on their way out of the closet.
Beyond Cher's impact on drag, she has also been a huge supporter of the LGBTQ community. She's been super supportive of her transgender son, Chaz Bono.
In a 2020 interview with CNN, Cher actually revealed that she relates to gay people. She said, gay people don't feel like they fit in, and I never felt like I fit in.
And if you look at her bigger hits, I think it's interesting they kind of fall into two categories. I'd say some of her earlier songs are about overcoming hardships in love. So, you have songs like:
And then if you go on to some more of her recent hits, from, you know, like the 90s onward, she really falls in line with that theme of I'm too good for you self-empowerment.
The whole I will survive and the hard-won self-esteem. She has songs like:
I mean, she point blank says in Believe, you know, I don't need you anymore. And maybe I'm too good for you.
In her song Strong Enough, she sings I'm strong enough to live without you. Strong enough, and I quit crying long enough. Now I'm strong enough to know that you got to go.
She's not letting these breakups define her. You know, she's moving on. She knows that she's too good for these men.
Essentially, it's fuck you. I'll move on to better.
Madonna (26:54)
Next, we have Madonna, the Queen of Pop.
Now, obviously, she has the glitz and the glam. She has catchy hooks, killer choreo. But I think, really, as a singer, she's truly embraced her female sexuality. And she's not shy about it.
And I think that's why a lot of gay men tend to resonate with her, especially when she came out in the 80s. And then onward in the 90s with the Blonde Ambition tour.
She was a woman in a male-dominated industry and she wasn't adhering to the typical image. She wasn't afraid to be a little weird. She wasn't afraid to be sexual and embrace her sexuality.
And even going on into the Blonde Ambition tour in the 90s, I think she was only, like, 30 or in her early 30s. And people were complaining that she was quote, too old to be doing what she was doing. And she fought back against that, and look at her.
She's had another career that's spanned decades, and she has been successful onwards into the 2000s and the 2010s.
And actually, touching upon the sexuality piece, in the 2004 book Madonna's Drowned Worlds, Dr. Santiago Fouz-Hernández explains that Madonna frequently uses dance idioms that are subsequently associated with gay or sexually liberated audiences.
He goes on to say that Madonna's music refuses to be defined by narrow boundaries of gender, sexuality, or anything else.
And I mean, think about some of her big hits. We have:
Those are all fun pop songs, but she definitely uses those dance idioms to tie into sexuality and intimacy.
I mean, Into the Groove, it's on my gym playlist. I love running to it. But if you listen to those lyrics, you know, obviously it's fun, it's dancey. But it goes beyond just being on the dance floor.
You know, she says music can be such a revelation. Dancing around you feel the sweet sensation. We might be lovers if the rhythm's right. I hope this feeling never ends tonight.
She goes on to say live out your fantasy here with me. Just let the music set you free. Touch my body and move in time. Now I know you're mine.
You know, Like a Prayer, she's talking about essentially worshiping your partner. But there's also some idioms to being down on your knees, and she wants to take him there.
In Open Your Heart, she's saying I hold the lock, and you hold the key. Open your heart. I'll give you love if you turn the key.
And Deeper and Deeper. You know, she says she can't help falling in love. She falls deeper and deeper. But we're gay men. We all know what deeper and deeper means, okay?
But again, that unashamed sexuality is just something that I think we, as gay men, really embrace because, if you think about it, we've had to repress it for so long. So, the songs really speak to us.
One, they're catchy as fuck. I love dancing to them. But two, the lyrics and the feeling within it, it really kind of helps you tap into that repressed side of yourself and let you come out and just kind of live in the fantasy.
And I mean, beyond her music, Madonna has been a huge ally to the gay community from the start of her career. July 13, 1987, she performed an AIDS benefit concert and raised $400,000 for the American Foundation for AIDS Research.
She's frequently spoken out against discrimination against the LGBTQ community, and she supports various LGBT protections. And she's even gone so far as to say that she wouldn't have a career if it weren't for the gay community.
Janet Jackson (29:43)
Next, I'm going to be talking about Janet Jackson. Janet or Miss Jackson, if you're nasty.
She is another queen of pop. She's also referred to as the Queen of R&B. She's another strong female who really embraced her sexuality through her music, and I know she's like the blueprint for the intense choreo and over-the-top performances in the best way possible.
Truthfully though, I never really followed her music. I knew the song It's All for You. Obviously, that's pretty sexual.
You know, she says, all the girls at the party look at that body, shaking that thing like you never did see. Got a nice package, all right. Guess I'm gonna have to write it tonight. Like, ooh, Miss Jackson.
She definitely dominated the charts in the latter half of the 80s, and her 1989 album, Janet Jackson's Rhythm Nation 1814, was a major phenomenon.
She garnered a substantial gay following in the 90s, specifically with her album The Velvet Rope, which was released on October 7, 1997.
Now, during the recording of this album, she apparently experienced severe depression and anxiety, which became a central theme of the album, among others, which included the exploration of homosexuality and sexual orientation while protesting homophobia.
And while she already had a gay following prior to this, this album really solidified herself as a gay icon. In particular, some songs from the album that really kind of adhere to this theme of the exploration of homosexuality and sexual orientation are the songs Free Xone, Tonight's the Night, and Together Again.
Free Xone is considered to be an anti-homophobia anthem, and I'm gonna read out some of the lyrics here:
"He was on the airplane
Sittin' next to this guy
Said he wasn't too shy
And he seemed real nice
Until he found out he was gay
That's so not mellow
Let's get free
Now make it mellow"
She goes on to say:
"Boy meets boy, boy loses boy
Boy gets cute boy back
Now make it mellow
Girl meets girl, girl loses girl
Girl gets cute girl back
Now make it mellow
One rule, no rules
One love, free zone"
Her song Tonight's the Night is actually a lesbian reinterpretation of the original song by Rod Stewart.
And then, finally, Together Again is a dance-pop tribute that Janet actually wrote to a friend who had recently died of AIDS. And it's also a tribute, she wrote in the notes of the album, it's also a tribute to AIDS victims and their families worldwide.
You know, the song goes:
"There are times when I look above and beyond
There are times when I feel your love around me, baby
I'll never forget my baby
Everywhere I go, every smile I see
I know you are there smilin' back at me
Dancin' in moonlight, I know you are free
'Cause I can see your star shinin' down on me"
So, The Velvet Rope became a Grammy Award-winning album. And it also went on to win the GLAAD Media Award for Outstanding Music. And you know, we always tie back to The Velvet Rage.
That book was actually titled after this album, which I was not aware of till I was doing a little bit of research on this.
So, beyond The Velvet Rope, beyond her music and her legacy, she's done a large amount of humanitarian work raising funds for AIDS charities. And she's supported LGBTQ organizations such as the It Gets Better Project and the Trevor Project.
Episode Closing (32:39)
Now again, obviously, with each generation, there's new pop girls coming out. New queens of pop, everybody has their favorites.
You know, I would argue that these women that I detailed, though, are probably considered to be the prototypes for a lot of today's pop girls. And they've inspired countless performers who have gone on to become gay icons.
Obviously, we all have our own queens and icons and legends, but regardless of that, I'm sure you could see how their songs and their music fits into the themes we discussed and also touches upon those emotions.
And I think this music is really important because one, it does allow an escape for us as gay men. We can get in touch with those emotions, whether it's heartbreak, self-empowerment, whatever.
For me personally, though, music has been getting me through the pandemic. I mean, I've been dancing around to disco and to Kylie Minogue all pandemic long. And that's been helping me stay sane and, you know, stay in a happy mood.
So, I think it's really important for us as gay men, regardless of who your icons are, just make time to listen to them. I think music can really help us get through the good times and the bad times.
And again, going back to our tarot, we got the reverse Death card today. So, it's reminding us to not hold on to those pasts. You know, Death card indicates ending a cycle to achieve ultimate rebirth and to go into the next stage that can be exciting and wonderful, but we need to let go of the past.
And I think through some of these songs, especially these self-empowerment and I'm too good for you songs, they can help us kind of achieve that. To let go of any pain we have, any trauma, whether it's from growing up gay in our families, or past heartbreak, or any situation going on.
We can look to these queens and their self-empowerment to help us break the cycle, let go of whatever we cling on to, and move on to the next phase.
Even if it is scary because we just need to trust ourselves and our intuition, and we'll be fine.
Connect with A Jaded Gay (34:19)
So, thank you again for listening. I hope that after this episode, you go through and listen to all the songs listed today. Maybe you'll find a new pop queen to be inspired by.
Please remember to like, rate, and review. Tell your friends all about A Jaded Gay.
Also, follow the podcast on social media @ajadedgaypod on both Twitter and Instagram. You can also follow me, Rob Loveless, on Instagram @rob_loveless or on Twitter @robjloveless.
And remember, every day is all we have, so you gotta make your own happiness.
Mmm-bye.
