110. Where Have All the Rainbows Gone?

Snarky Opener (0:00)

Ah yes. It's July, so all our corporate allies are packing up their LGBTQ+ support until next June. See you then.

Episode Introduction (0:28)

Hello, my LGBTQuties, and welcome back to another episode of A Jaded Gay. I'm Rob Loveless and today, I am a non-jaded gay because I am doing Mother Nature's work. So, as you know from past episodes, I've talked about my love for Philadelphia and the neighborhood. I want to make it super cute.

Back in, I think it was May or maybe April, I talked about how there was a street near me that was really dirty that, you know, trash had just been dumped there. It was blowing around on the sidewalk. So, I reached out to the neighborhood cleanup team, and they took care of it and cleaned up the street and it looked great. And then, last month, I put together my patio. Just cleaned it up, made a cute little outdoor space. Because yeah, I want the neighborhood to look super cute.

And while I love my house, the street I live on is bare of any trees. Now I know I live in the city, so obviously it's not like I'm going to be in the middle of the woods. But it is nice to have a little greenery. I mean, most streets around me will have a few street trees lined up here or there, just to add a little bit of foliage to it.

So back in September, I found out you could actually request a free street tree, I think through Philadelphia's Parks and Recreation office. So, I reached out and requested one, and I kind of got the runaround from them. Because basically, they have to send somebody out to inspect your space to make sure they can drill into your concrete. That it's not going to interfere with any of the utilities or anything. 

And then, if you get approved after the inspection, they'll plant a tree for you twice a year during their planting season. Well, I got denied because, at first, they said my sidewalks weren't wide enough. So, I measured them and I said actually, it's wider than the size you said it needed to be. And then they said, oh, actually what we meant was, it's not far enough away from these utilities.

But I did the measurements. And I don't know if they actually measured my house or if they measured the wrong house or what. But I'm not really buying the whole thing about them saying that I can't get a tree out front. So, I'm still working through that. I'm gonna play by the rules. But just because I may not be able to get a street tree now doesn't mean that the rest of my street has to suffer.

So, yesterday, I put my communications and graphic designer skills to work. I have a Canva account that I use for the podcast. So, I logged into Canva. I created a cute little flyer that basically included all the information about the Philadelphia Parks and Recreation office, how they offer free tree planning services, and how you can request yours.

And I printed them out, and today I literally Regina Georged it. I walked up and down my street and, in every mailbox, I dropped one of those flyers. And I had some extras left over, so I actually went to the street over, which is also bear of any trees, and dropped them off for them. So, I'm hoping that maybe just my neighbors didn't realize you could request a free street tree.

And so, I'm hoping that with that information, they'll submit a request for a tree and, soon, we'll get some trees on our street. Because who doesn't love trees? It's a breath of fresh air, it beautifies the neighborhood, and it may even potentially increase your property value.

Who doesn't love that? So yes, there I am just, you know, neighborhood beautification crew. That is me.

Performative Allyship (3:21)  

Anyway, from street trees to sticks in the mud. Today, we are talking about performative allyship.

Yes, here we are. It's early July, and you might be asking the question: where have all the rainbows gone? 

You know, in previous episodes, we've talked about how corporations love to say yay to gay during the month of June to bolster their sales. But then, once Pride is over, their pro-LGBTQ+ stances seem to disappear.

And even with people, they like to go to Pride and say they're allies, but they're not aware of the discrimination and oppression we're still facing today. And in recent years, I've seen the term performative allyship or performative activism thrown around.

And I think this applies to LGBTQ+ rights. So today, we're going to talk about that.

But first, let's play our tarot card.

Tarot (4:11)  

So, the card for this episode is the Five of Pentacles in reverse. As you remember, Pentacles is a minor arcana suit tied to the element of earth. Earth, it's very grounding, nurturing, and stabilizing.

And we typically think of Pentacles as putting in the hard work, reaping what we sow, and reaping the fruits of our labor. And Pentacles is feminine energy, so it's asking us to meditate and reflect.

Now, while this typically is a stabilizing energy, in numerology, five is tied to change, instability, or loss. And sometimes, five is even referred to as the conflict number. However, when we draw the Five of Pentacles in reverse, it's telling us that we are moving on from challenges.

Now Pentacles, it's typically tied to prosperity. So, this card usually represents moving on from financial challenges and potentially discovering a new source of income. But I like to think of Pentacles as emotional prosperity.

So, in relation to this card, maybe we found a new sense of fulfillment or happiness to re-energize us. This card may also indicate that we've placed too much emphasis on material wealth and have neglected our own emotional well-being.

So, we need to reflect and make sure we're in touch with our intuition and following our purpose. Because when we value something and if we stay persistent, we'll make it happen.

What is Performative Allyship? (5:26)

So, with that in mind, let's kick off the episode by talking about what performative allyship and performative activism are.

Now, sometimes they are used interchangeably, but for this episode, I'm going to stick to referring to it as performative allyship. So, let's start off by talking about what it is.

GP Strategies, a talent transformation provider, defines performative allyship as a form of superficial activism that focuses on the appearance of allyship rather than meaningful action. It creates a false sense of progress and can perpetuate inequality.

Basically, this occurs when a person or organization wants to look like they're supporting marginalized communities without actually taking action to make change or support that community.

We Shape Tech, a global platform that encourages diversity and inclusion in technology and innovation, claims that performative allyship is used to gain fever and social capitalism.

Performative Allyship Characteristics (6:21)

And with that in mind, performative allyship can be seen on both individual and organizational levels. But, the majority of the articles cited in this episode focus on companies that try to boast about how their allies by having a diverse workplace without giving marginalized communities the opportunity to develop in their roles.

And We Shape Tech also provides what performative allyship looks like. Some examples of this at the individual level include:

·       Taking no personal responsibility for systemic issues

·       Refusing to listen or engage in uncomfortable conversations

·       Surface-level support, like posting on social media without any action or follow through

·       Denying the reality of marginalized groups and the LGBTQI+ community

·       And bragging about supporting a cause

And examples at the organizational level include:

·       Leaders paying lip service to solidarity without tangible support of marginalized employees

·       Claims of equality without any policies that support and protect marginalized employees

·       Lack of diversity in hiring practice with claims of diverse and equality on job ads and websites

·       Failure to address complaints of discrimination

·       Lack of any actual or sustained change on an organizational level

·       And an entirely homogenous leadership team

And performative allyship is a general term of this fake support for marginalized groups. In fact, the terms performative allyship and performative activism really gained traction during the Black Lives Matter movement in 2020, following the murder of George Floyd.

So, you can dissect this concept a million different ways, focusing on how it impacts different marginalized groups. But for this episode, we're going to be focusing on performative allyship in regards to the LGBTQ+ community and Pride.

Examples of Performative Allyship (8:06)

So, if you Google performative LGBTQ+ allyship, there are quite a few examples that pop up giving examples of this. More recently, in March 2023, Ian Kumakoto published a HuffPost article titled Performative Allies Are Out Here Being Fake as Hell.

In it, he wrote about a recent Northwestern University study that found that 8.5% of quote-unquote allies who expressed support for sexual minorities didn't want to be neighbors with a gay person. So, just a little bit of hypocrisy there.

And I know 8.5% may not seem like a big number, but it does seem very contradictory to say that you're an ally when you're actually not comfortable around gay people.

And for the record, all you straight breeders should be so lucky to have gay neighbors because we increase your property value. I mean, I just told you about my little tree excursion. So, you should all wish you were my neighbor. I mean, gay homeowners just know how to do it better.

Additionally, Emory Vela, a GLSEN Student Ambassador, gives an example of performative allyship by telling a story about how one of their classmates claimed to be an ally because he went to Pride every year. But that didn't stop that classmate from saying gay slurs all the time.

Emory writes: "The shared sentiment among our GSA is that all too often, the conversation about allyship is left at a straight, cisgender student saying I support you, and then leaving their advocacy at that."

My Experience with Performative Allyship (9:29)

And an example of performative allyship I experienced firsthand was that I used to work for a company that liked to boast about their diversity and host diversity sessions throughout the year. In June, of course, they wanted to focus it on Pride.

So, they put together a panel of LGBTQ+ people in the company who were at a senior enough job level. However, one of the organizers of the event decided that one of the panelists wasn't actually at a high enough job level to qualify to participate.

So, the organizer wanted to find someone else who was LGBTQ+ at a high enough job level to replace the other panelist. But the problem was there were no other LGBTQ+ leaders at that job level. So, the organizers were like, well, there's no other leaders at that job level, so we can just have a straight person at that job level come on to speak as a straight ally.

Like, first of all, ew, no. Straight people are able to have their voices heard year-round; LGBTQ+ people are not. And two, that's the problem. You barely have a handful of LGBTQ+ employees at a certain job level who are considered high-level enough to talk about their experiences as an LGBTQ+ professional. 

Like, all these companies like to talk about the LGBTQ+ talent they're hiring, but how many are actually developing the talent to become future leaders? So yeah, I don't miss working there. And that was just one of many reasons. But anyway, let's get back to the topic.

Combat Performative Allyship (10:52)

Pride, as we know, is more than just rainbows and parades. And just because it's only widely celebrated one month out of the year doesn't mean it's okay for quote-unquote allies and organizations to slack off in supporting the LGBTQ+ community the other 11 months.

So, let's talk about how people can combat performative allyship and be effective allies. And starting off with Pride marketing, here's what companies need to start doing. And these come from Electriq Marketing:

Stop talking about themselves.

Pride Month exists so LGBTQ+ voices can be heard, not allies. So, businesses should use their platforms to uplift queer voices. And ideally, not just during Pride, but year-round.

Next, companies should put their money where their mouth is.

I think we talked about this in the corporate greed episode, but companies often say that they're pro-LGBTQ+, but then they may contribute donations to organizations that aren't inclusive of the LGBTQ+ community. So, businesses should start putting their money towards supporting the LGBTQ+ community. But they also shouldn't boast about it to talk about how great of a company they are.

They should also display allyship in the workplace year-round.

And lastly, companies should be transparent about their business.

They should share their workforce diversity data to demonstrate that their gender and sexuality diversity reflects their messaging. Because if you can't walk the walk, then don't talk the talk. And sharing these metrics will also pressure other companies to follow suit.

And somewhat related to being transparent about diversity metrics, GP Strategies includes these three pillars to combat performative allyship in the workplace:

The first is measurement.

If companies are truly committed to developing an inclusive workforce, they should collect data through surveys, interviews, and focus groups to assess the current state of diversity and inclusion. From there, they should look toward the most privileged groups in the workforce and study how those made it to the top.

They should use those findings to discover ways to ensure they extend those same experiences to marginalized groups. And they must ensure continuous improvement by taking the information they receive and mapping out plans to implement change in the future.

The next pillar is planning.

After companies have collected the data previously mentioned and identified their weak points, they should create a strategic plan to move forward. While it will be different for each company, it should drive real progress by outlining timelines, specific goals, and key performance indicators. And it's important to plan goals that are challenging but still possible to achieve.

And lastly is accountability.

Companies must hold their leaders and managers accountable for the goals and plans set. One instance of accountability involves investigating how to hold managers accountable for driving conversations around diversity and inclusion and prioritizing actions that support true inclusion.

Another entails conducting and dissecting engagement surveys for your managers. And a final level of accountability is the most serious: actions types remuneration. So, if certain managers don't show progress or alignment with overall DEI efforts over periods and after intervention, companies must take more serious action to ensure momentum is maintained.

True Allyship is a Verb (14:12)

And, as we're getting to the end of this episode, the North Carolina State University published a toolkit for LGBTQ+ allies and stated that true allyship is a verb, not a noun.

For those who consider themselves allies, it's essential that they work to understand the complex history between the LGBTQIA+ community and the culturally dominant narrative. And they can do so by participating in guided discussions or joining an LGBTQ+ book club.

Here's an excerpt from the toolkit:

"Allies must be aware of their own positionality and how it affects the community they intend to support. Many allies must first understand the levels of privilege that are afforded to them based on their identity. In true allyship, having an understanding of one's positionality and the history of the LGBTQIA+ community can be used to guide the ally of when to use their privilege on the frontlines of issues and causes as well as behind the scenes."

Episode Closing (15:08)

And, connecting it back to the tarot. Five of Pentacles in reverse. We're being told that we're moving on from challenging times. And you know, for me personally, Pride this year felt a little weird.

You know, things kicked off with Target back in the spring, I believe it was, where they were going to be pulling some of their Pride merchandise and only sell it online for safety reasons. And I know we talked with Bev about this in the episode about drag queens.

And the problem with Target is, like we said, is that, you know, these companies for a long time have enjoyed boasting their, you know, Pride merchandise for capitalism, for profits, during times when they found being part of the LGBTQ+ community was more trendy. Not that being part of the community is a trend. But the retailers were jumping on that trend of, you know, greater LGBTQ+ acceptance.

But now, the pendulum is swinging in the opposite direction. It's a hostile political environment. We're going into an election year. It's it's a scary time. And now that the pressure is on retailers, it feels like they're crumbling to that and trying to appease everyone. And so, they're trying to find other options to, you know, be inclusive in Pride.

The problem with that is, while companies like Target can, you know, move their clothes to the back of the store or just sell their clothes online and kind of play it safe, we as LGBTQ+ people, a lot of us don't get that opportunity. There's only so much masking we can do of ourselves. And we shouldn't even have to do that. But unfortunately, we do for our own safety.

So, when the environment grows hostile, we don't have the ability to really mask ourselves. We're encountering this hate 365 days a year. So, with that in mind, I think just in general, it's been a challenging few years and increasing each year.

You know, I've talked to other people who are gay, who also are scared. They said, you know, things feel different. Just the treatment of LGBTQ+ people feels different than it has, even in the past few years. It's a scary time.

And while it's easy to kind of soak in the doom and gloom, we do have to reflect on what we think our purpose is as LGBTQ+ people. And how we're trying to make a difference for the community. We're able to move on from these challenges.

We just need to reflect on what that next step is to push ourselves forward. And this card talks about placing too much emphasis on material wealth. Again, that's looking at it through the lens of prosperity. But putting it in the sense of emotions, maybe we've placed too much emphasis on acceptance through these retailers or people we thought were straight allies because they went to a Pride March. Maybe that's not what's most fulfilling to us.

So, maybe we need to find that new source of income, quote unquote. You have to find a new sense of fulfillment or happiness that energizes us, especially during these challenging times. And we need to really work on our own emotional well-being to be the healthiest version of ourselves so that we can continue to overcome these challenges to our equality and unlock our true potential and purpose to benefit the entire LGBTQ+ community.

Connect with A Jaded Gay (18:08)

So, as always, thank you so much for listening. I hope you enjoy this episode.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on performative allyship. Are there any companies that really have kind of gotten under your skin with how they might flash their rainbows up on social media but then not actually step up for any action? Were there any Pride fails you saw this year with brand marketing that you think need to be called out? Feel free to send that to me, rob@ajadedgay.com. And maybe we'll talk about it on the show.

As always, please remember to rate, review, and subscribe. I greatly appreciate it. For more information on this episode, additional resources, links to merchandise, socials, all that fun stuff, you can visit the website ajadedgay.com.

You can also connect with a podcast on Instagram, TikTok, SoundCloud, and YouTube @ajadedgaypod. You can follow me, personally, Rob Loveless on Instagram @rob_loveless.

Also, if you're feeling generous, you can support the podcast on Patreon for as little as $1 a month. That gets you instant access to episodes ad-free a day early, plus exclusive monthly bonus content. And if you sign up at the $3 or $5 tier, you get some additional goodies there. So, check it out.

Or if you're afraid of commitment, don't worry, I get it. You can make a one-time donation on Buy Me a Coffee for any dollar amount, and both of those are @ajadedgaypod.

And remember, every day is all we have, so you got to make your own happiness.

Mmm-bye.

Outtake (19:55)

Where have all the rainbows gone? Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do.