20. Don't Say Gay

Snarky Opener (0:00)

Dear Florida, guess what? We're here. We're queer. Get the fuck used to it.

Episode Introduction (0:24)

Hello, my LGBTQuties, and welcome back to another episode of A Jaded Gay.

I'm Rob Loveless and, today, I'm a non-jaded gay because I got my hair cut short. Like short, short.

I had been growing it out for the past, probably like, a year and a half, doing the slicked-back 2014, Miley Cyrus Wrecking Ball look. And it was just driving me nuts.

It was getting way too long. It's been a hot summer, and so I decided to just cut it off. And I love that it's short.

And it took a little getting used to, not gonna lie, my head was cold the first couple days. I was not used to the wind going through it. The sides are short. Top's just kind of a mess there, kind of like I am.

But guess what? Hair shorter. Mouth is still loud, and I'm here to bitch to you today about Florida's Don’t Say Gay bill.

Don’t Say Gay (1:02) 

I wanted to bring this topic up because midterm elections are coming up, so you know what that means—political ad overload.

I hate seeing it. I go to the gym, and it's always playing on the TVs there. Like, why the fuck at 6 am are you showing that on TV at the gym? I don't want to see it.

Anyway, with the midterms coming up, there's more discussion around certain political topics. And one of those topics are the Don’t Say Gay bill, which originated in Florida.

And other states, like the state I live in, Pennsylvania, are starting to implement it. So, I wanted to discuss this so we know actually what it means and what we can potentially do about it.

But before we do, you know the drill, let's pull our tarot card.

Tarot (1:37) 

So, today's card is Justice in reversed. And how appropriate for today's topic, since Florida's Don’t Say Gay bill is a fucking injustice against LGBTQ people everywhere.

Now, you may remember that in the tarot, there's the Major and Minor Arcana. And Major Arcana cards typically represent bigger chapters in your life, bigger milestones, things happening.

And Justice is number 11 in the Major Arcana. So again, when we have a double-digit number in tarot, we add those values together.

So, one plus one equals two, and the number two is tied to choices, duality, partnership. And this card is also somewhat connected to the second card in the Major Arcana, which is the High Priestess.

But let's focus on Justice right now. So, in astrology, this card is tied to Libra, which is representative of balance, truth, and partnership.

And when we get this card in reverse, the key meaning is that there's an imbalance or unfair treatment. You listening, Florida?

So, in general, Justice is asking us to use logic and remain objective whenever we have to make decisions or we're going through some kind of hardship.

And typically, when we get this card, it indicates that there's positive outcomes on the horizon for any issues that we might be dealing with.

But in order to achieve those positive outcomes, we need to stay true to ourself and act with integrity. We don't stoop low; we don't get dirty. We have to be our best authentic self.

However, when we get this card in reverse, it's indicating that there's a struggle to achieve this balance. So, there's something in the way that's keeping us from achieving balance in a situation.

So maybe something unfair has happened, or maybe there's an event that occurred that doesn't align with what we're looking for that's creating a roadblock from getting to point A to point B in our pursuit of happiness.

And so, we need to really use our intuition to guide us on what represents what's true to us, and what we need to do to get forward and how we can move past the imbalance in our life.

And once we've identified that, we need to put our energy there. We can't just identify a solution. We need to work to get there. We need to work to make change and to make positive change.

And ultimately, we need to remember that no matter how hard we try, there are always going to be difficult times. I mean, look at the LGBTQ+ history.

No surprise, we have had to overcome so many hurdles over however many decades, generations, you name it.

And it's a tough fight, and it wears on us, but we need to keep pushing forward and working for what we know is right to achieve balance in our lives.

So yeah, real cheery going into our topic today. I hope you're all feeling inspired because it's gonna get dark.

The Florida Parental Rights in Education Act (3:49)

So okay, Don’t Say Gay. Earlier this year, we've heard this name thrown around a lot, but what exactly is it?

So, for starters, the Don’t Say Gay bill, it's actually called the Florida Parental Rights in Education Act, which, again, we informally refer to as Don’t Say Gay.

And to sum it up, there's really three key components to this:

• Number one, it prohibits classroom instruction on sexual orientation or gender identity from kindergarten to grade three in Florida public school districts.
• Number two, it prohibits classroom instruction on sexual orientation or gender identity in a manner that is not age-appropriate or developmentally appropriate for students in any grade.
• And lastly, it prohibits students from restricting parental access to their students' education and health records.

Now, those are kind of broad statements, so we'll get into what it means in a bit. But first, let's talk a little bit more about the history of this bill.

Florida’s Don’t Say Gay Bill is Introduced to the Senate (4:38)

So Republican Florida State Senator Dennis K Baxley first introduced this bill into the Senate on January 7, 2022, but it died.

And unsurprisingly, Mr. Baxley is a big ole homophobe. So, a couple things you should know about him.

He said marriage equality was a threat to American families following the landmark 2003 ruling in the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court legalizing same-sex marriage in that state. So, off to a great start.

He also refused to repeal an unconstitutional, unenforceable statute banning adoption for same-sex couples, saying that he simply couldn't affirm homosexuality.

Oh, yeah, and he also compared LGBTQ+ parents to abusive parents and equating having same-sex parents with alcoholism. Wow.

Here's an actual quote from him:

“I sat an hour and a half with a teacher telling me, well, this child has got serial men coming through the house, this one has two mommies, this one has an abusive father whose home, this has alcoholism, this one has drug abuse. It was a casualty warfare event to hear—just her classroom—how many dysfunctional, atypical—to me—uh, structures are in the way of a kid having a chance to learn.”

So that is super-duper.

Anyway, a few days later, on January 11 of this year, Republican Florida State Representative Joe Harding, along with the Education and Employment Committee, introduced a companion version into the house, and it was opposed by the American Bar Association, Equality Florida, and President Joe Biden.

Still, it unfortunately passed the Florida House on February 24. It passed the Florida Senate on March 8, and shocker, Baxley was fully supportive of it.

Disney’s Response (6:17)

Now, Disney actually came under fire a bit during this because many people, including some of their employees, were frustrated that the company wasn't speaking out against the bill.

And I think they were putting the pressure on Disney because, you know, it's one of the largest, most commercial companies in Florida, so they figured that Disney had quite a bit of power to flex here.

And Lord knows how intense those Disney gays can be. There, I said it. Don't cancel me.

Anyway, on March 10, Disney CEO Bob Chapek finally spoke out, although some felt it was a day too late. But Chapek called Florida Governor Ron DeSantis on March 9, and this is a quote:

”To express our disappointment and concern that if the legislation becomes law, it could be used to unfairly target gay, lesbian, non-binary, and transgender kids and families."

Supposedly, DeSantis agreed to meet with him and some of Disney's LGBTQ+ employees to hear their concerns. But I wasn't able to find an update on this, so I'm not really sure what happened.

Anyway, Chapeck also said that Disney is reassessing their approach to advocacy, including political giving in Florida and beyond.

He also said Disney signed the Human Rights Campaign's statement opposing similar legislative efforts, and Disney also pledged $5 million to organizations quote unquote working to protect LGBTQ+ rights, including the Human Rights Campaign, the HRC.

However, at that time, the HRC actually refused the funds, saying they wouldn't accept money from Disney until, here's another quote:

"We see them build on their public commitment and work with LGBTQ+ advocates to ensure that dangerous proposals, like Florida's Don’t Say Gay or Trans bill, don't become dangerous laws, and if they do, to work to get them off the books.

Businesses have had and continue to have a major impact in the fight for LGBTQ+ rights, from marriage equality to the defeat of House Bill 2 in North Carolina and beyond.

While Disney took a regrettable stance by choosing to stay silent amid political attacks against LGBTQ+ families in Florida — including hardworking families employed by Disney — today, they took a step in the right direction. But it was merely the first step.”

The Florida Parental Rights in Education Act is Signed into Law (8:19)

So, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis signed the bill into law on March 28 and it became effective on July 1.

So somewhat recently, and actually, gay rights advocates actually sued Governor DeSantis to block the law, and I found a really powerful quote from the lawsuit:

"This effort to control young minds through state censorship — and to demean LGBTQ lives by denying their reality — is a grave abuse of power. The United States Supreme Court has repeatedly affirmed that LGBTQ people and their families are at home in our constitutional order. The State of Florida has no right to declare them outcasts, or to treat their allies as outlaws, by punishing schools where someone dares to affirm their identity and dignity."

Now, obviously, this was unsuccessful because the law is now effective. So, okay, going back to kind of those three core components of the law.

Specifically, it reads classroom instruction by school personnel or third parties on sexual orientation or gender identity may not occur in kindergarten through grade three or in a manner that is not age-appropriate or developmentally appropriate for students in accordance with state standards.

And supporters of the bill say this gives parents the opportunity to allow them to introduce LGBTQ topics to their children when they feel it's appropriate.

And it empowers parents so much so that they can actually sue a school district if the policy is violated.

And during a press conference, ahead of the signing, Governor DeSantis, said, teaching kindergarten-age kids that quote-unquote they can be whatever they want to be was quote-unquote inappropriate for children.

Heteronormativity Has Been Pushed in Schools for Decades (9:50)

Now, here's the crazy thing, for decades, we have been pushing sexual orientation and gender identity in schools, even in kindergarten. I mean, how many little girls were told that boys that picked on them just had a crush on them, and that's why they treat them terribly?

I mean, obviously, that's terrible that that happened. But, like, wow, way to reinforce how to think that a boy is showing feelings for you.

And also, how many of us were exposed to books and TV shows depicting straight couples? Oh, my fucking eyes, they burn from every time I see a straight couple kiss.

And how many boys were told they had to play with trucks and not dolls because trucks were for boys and dolls were for girls?

And how many of us learned only straight history in schools? Anyone out there learn about the Stonewall Riots or about how Alan Turing helped the British government pioneer the technology to decrypt Nazi Germany's secret communications during World War II and was later chemically castrated for being gay?

No, I don't think we did.

And also, what the fuck is considered developmentally appropriate for students in accordance with state standards. Like that's pretty open to interpretation there.

Let me take a breath. Okay.

Negative Implications for LGBTQ+ Youth’s Mental Health and Safety (10:50)

In fact, critics of the bill and legal experts have said the broad language of the law could open school districts and teachers to lawsuits from parents who believe any conversation about LGBTQ people or issues is quote-unquote, not age-appropriate.

And we know LGBTQ youth already face higher health and suicide risks than their cisgender or straight peers.

In fact, the Trevor Project's 2022 National Survey on LGBTQ youth mental health found that 45% of LGBTQ youth seriously considered attempting suicide in the past year.

And 60% of LGBTQ youth who wanted mental health care in the past year were not able to get it.

So, by straight washing these schools, forbidding mention of anything gay, these youth are only going to feel more isolated.

And also, something else to consider. What if someone at that school has same-sex parents?

Are those parents banned from attending school events because it's quote-unquote exposing children to LGBTQ+ themes that aren't quote-unquote age-appropriate?

Quote, unquote? I feel like I've been saying that a lot, but there's a lot of quotes in this episode, so deal with it.

And even more disturbing, this bill originally required staff to out students to their parents if the school became aware of a child's sexual orientation or gender identity through counseling or other services within six weeks of finding that out.

Like first of all, I think we all agree it should be every person's own decision to come out on their own time. No one should be forced out of the closet.

But two, by outing these kids, who knows what you're exposing them to at home. What if their parents are super intolerant, and a kid was staying closeted for their own safety?

And now what happens when the school outs them? Great job at keeping kids safe, Florida.

Now, luckily, this was withdrawn from the bill before it was signed into effect. But that's a little too Handmaid's Tale for me, which I guess really shouldn't be surprising given the time we're living in.

Don’t Say Gay in Effect (12:39)

But with this bill now in effect, some schools are integrating adjacent practices into their own policies.

For example, Leon County School Board unanimously approved its LGBTQ Inclusive School Guide, which includes a provision to alert parents if a student who is quote-unquote open about their gender identity is in their child's physical education class or with them on an overnight school trip.

So, you're not just outing them to their parents, you're now outing them to other people's parents. Great job.

Additionally, it states that parents or students who have concerns about rooming assignments for their students' upcoming overnight events based on religious or privacy concerns may request an accommodation.

Like these people are doing everything in their power to really ostracize and isolate LGBTQ+ youth. All in the name of God Almighty, who I believe originally said, Love thy neighbor. No fucking exceptions.

But I guess Florida found those exceptions.

Additionally, representatives of the Orange County Classroom Teachers Association and this is Orange County, Florida, not Orange County, California, like Real Housewives.

They accused school officials Monday of verbally warning educators not to wear rainbow articles of clothing and to remove pictures of their same-sex spouses from their desks and LGBTQ+ safe space stickers from classroom doors.

Here's another. Duval Public Schools has removed a 12-minute anti-bullying video that taught middle and high school students how to support their gay and transgender peers.

Book Bans (14:00)

And the School District of Palm Beach County sent out a questionnaire asking its teachers to review all course material and flag any books with references to sexual orientation, gender identity, or, wait for it, race.

And while we're talking about books, we've also seen a slew of book bans across states with LGBTQ+ themes.

In fact, PEN America found that school districts in 26 states have banned or opened investigations into more than 1,100 books from July 1, 2021, to March 31, 2022.

Specifically, the report also highlighted the disproportionate targeting of books by or about people whose identities and stories have traditionally been underrepresented in children's and young adult literature, such as people of color, LGBTQ+ individuals, or persons with disabilities.

Don’t Say Gay Bills in Other States (14:47)

Now, while Florida got a lot of attention for their Don’t Say Gay bill, they're not the only state to have implemented this kind of legislation.

In fact, approximately 20 states have introduced Don’t Say Gay laws between January and April of 2022.

And in April 2022, Alabama Governor Kay Ivey signed into law House Bill 322, restricting public school teachers from discussing LGBTQ+ history or people in public elementary schools.

But this is unsurprising for Alabama, considering in 1992, their education code stipulated that teachers emphasize in a factual manner and from a public health perspective, that homosexuality is not a lifestyle acceptable to the general public, and that homosexual conduct is a criminal offense under the laws of the state.

Since 1991, Texas has had a similar bill saying that educational materials for people under the age of 18 state that homosexual conduct is not an acceptable lifestyle and is a criminal offense.

But the first state to enact an LGBTQ+ bill of this nature is Oklahoma. In April 1987, they passed the nation's first bill banning teachers from talking about homosexuality in an AIDS sex-ed measure.

Louisiana enacted a similar bill a few months after that. And other states that have implemented Don’t Say Gay bills similar to Florida include Arizona, South Carolina, and Utah.

In fact, nine states passed laws banning schools from teaching about homosexuality from 1987 to 2001.

Oh yeah, and Mississippi sex-ed law requires that teachers simply teach current state law related to sexual conduct and lists homosexuality alongside sensitive topics such as forcible rape, statutory rape, paternity establishment, and child support.

And most recently, my home state, Pennsylvania, has introduced a bill that's been referred to as a copycat of Florida's Don’t Say Gay bill.

This legislation titled Senate Bill 1278 was sponsored by surprise another Republican, Senator Scott Martin, who's from Lancaster, so that speaks volumes.

Sorry, not sorry to anyone from Lancaster. But let's get real, Central PA, what do you expect?

Anyway, this bill was introduced on June 10 of this year and was approved along party lines by the Senate Education Committee on June 21.

So, the last I heard, it was on its way to the full Senate for consideration. I haven't heard any additional details since then. I haven't been able to find too much on there.

Also, between the time that I'm recording this and the time that airs, there will be about a month, so I mean, a lot can happen there. But fortunately, Democratic Governor Tom Wolf has vowed to veto this bill.

So, PA is safe, for now. Because, remember, midterms. Rafael Alvarez Febo, Executive Director of the LGBTQ Affairs Commission, said:

“Pennsylvania was founded on the basis of inclusion, and the Wolf Administration has fought to ensure that Pennsylvania will continue to be a state that welcomes and protects all of its residents.

This bill, which was introduced in the middle of Pride Month, is a cruel attempt to politicize LGBTQ people and deny their humanity in order to score cheap political points.

While Pennsylvanians are struggling with very real issues such as gun violence, soaring prices, and underfunded schools, the General Assembly has chosen to pick on LGBTQ children and teachers to score political points. This is deeply wrong and would have long-reaching consequences for our schools and human rights in Pennsylvania.”

The Importance of Voting (18:00)

But again, midterms are coming up in November. And depending on the outcome, this could become a very different situation if we have a Republican governor who agrees with this bill.

And when these situations come up, I feel a culmination of anger, fear, and just a lack of control over my own life because, really, what can we do? And I know I'm not alone.

And while we might feel hopeless or defeated, the one thing that we can do is get out there and vote. Not just in the presidential election but in every election because they happen every year.

And our local elected officials have just as much of an impact on our lives as our country's leadership. So, I'm not going to tell you who to vote for, but I think it's pretty clear what politicians are anti-LGBTQ+.

And I think recent events this summer, from the implementation of Florida's Don’t Say Gay bill to Roe v Wade being overturned really illustrate why it's important to pay attention to the person you vote for.

So do your research, get engaged, and get out there and fucking vote. And maybe have some conversations with friends or family members to help them understand the importance in voting for someone who is not anti you.

Because here's the thing: LGBTQ people have always existed and will always exist. And no matter what bullshit legislation is being passed, we are not going to go away.

And it sucks that in this day and age, we still aren't accepted. And it's especially unsettling to me that schools are going to be straightwashed from LGBTQ+ history to inclusive sex education to forcing LGBTQ+ teachers and parents back into the closet.

So, we need to get out there and vote and speak out against this.

Sign the National Business Statement on Anti-LGBTQ+ State Legislation (19:30)

And if you're a business owner, there's actually an additional step you can do.

You can sign the Human Rights Campaign and Freedom for All American's National Business Statement on Anti-LGBTQ+ State Legislation, which calls for public leaders to abandon or oppose efforts to enact discriminatory anti-LGBTQ+ legislation and ensure fairness for all Americans.

And if you're not a business owner, but your company has an LGBTQ+ employee resource group, maybe work with that group to see if this is something that you can present your company to sign.

And as of recording this, 283 businesses have signed the statement.

Now I'm not going to read all 283 names because we'd be here forever, and I record in my closet, and it's really fucking hot, and I'm sweating, and I want to get through this pretty quickly.

But I'm just going to give you an idea of some of the companies who have signed it. We have:

• Advanced Auto Parts
• Chobani
• Etsy
• Hilton
• IKEA
• Microsoft
• Prudential
• Target
• Warby Parker
• Zillow

So, just a handful of those 283 companies who have signed. We've got some big names there.

Episode Closing (21:04)

And I know I'm talking fast because I'm, I know I said I was hot, but I'm also just really angry about this too. But I think a lot of us are feeling angry, and we should because this is an attack on us.

This is an attack on our inner child. And this is an attack on the current, you know, LGBTQ+ youth in America. So, we really need to speak up.

We can't remain silent on this just because we may not be in school or because we may not have children in school. We still need to fight this. It is not okay.

And just like our tarot card said today, when we pull Justice in reverse, it's indicating there's an imbalance in our life. And there is because look at the events that have happened recently.

And with midterm elections coming up, a lot of us are probably worried. So, we need to take action. We need to speak out against this bill.

Share this information with your friends and family. Let them know things that are going on that are harming the LGBTQ+ community. Not just even nationwide but in our own backyards.

Pay attention to the politicians this year. Again, not telling you who to vote for, not saying to align with parties per se.

But really listen to everybody's platform and see what they are or aren't doing for the LGBTQ+ community. Make sure that your family and friends aren't voting for people who are anti-you.

And just make sure you get out there and take action.

Pay attention to when your local elections are, make sure that you're registered to vote, know where your local voting booth is, and get out there and take action.

And as frustrating as it is, and even though this might get us all worked up, just remember we are not going anywhere.

Whatever kind of anti-LGBTQ+ legislation is passed is not going to erase us if we don't allow it to erase us.

We will continue to be here. We will continue to raise our voices and speak out against injustices.

So, wow, that was a lot. I hope you're all feeling inspired and great because a very light topic today.

Connect with A Jaded Gay (22:38)

But as always, thank you so much for listening. I really appreciate it.

Please remember to rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast. Five-star only. We won't accept anything lower than that.

Also, maybe share this episode with your friends and family. Yes, I need the download numbers to go up, but two, I think it would be really important to kind of shed some light on this to people outside of the community.

I know my own family is aware of the Don’t Say Gay bill, but obviously, they don't know about all the ins and outs of it. Truthfully, I didn't either till I did my research.

So, really, get this out there and share with people who you think should know what's going on, too.

And if you want to connect with me further, you can send me an email rob@ajadedgay.com You can also connect with the podcast on Instagram and Twitter, @ajadedgaypod.

And actually, most recently, TikTok, @ajadedgaypod. I am on the TikTok.

I feel like a geriatric millennial. I'm not quite 30 yet, but I'm on here and have no idea what the fuck I'm doing. So, if you could support me there, that'd be great, too.

You can also connect with me, Rob Loveless on Instagram @rob_loveless or on Twitter @robjloveless.

And remember, every day is all we have, so you got to make your own happiness.

Mmm-bye.

Outtake (24:05)

Anyway, on March 10, Disney CEO Bob Chapek. Whoa, mispronounced that one. Let's try that again.