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We communicate with others every day. If we pay closer attention to the ways we talk and our feelings towards various ways of having a conversation, we'll realize that some words can be extremely harmful. For example, there are verbal denials, rude interruptions, and casual judgments. Now the book Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life will teach us a new way of communication, allowing us to avoid such harm and get more love and happiness for others and ourselves.
Marshall Rosenberg once presented on Nonviolent Communication at a mosque at Dheisheh Refugee Camp in Bethlehem. The audience consisted of about 170 Palestinian Muslim men. Palestinian views toward Americans at that time were not favorable. As he was speaking, the audience started to whisper that Rosenberg was American. A man even leaped to his feet and yelled to Rosenberg, “Murderer! Assassin!” Immediately, rage rose in the entire group. Rosenberg recalled that on the way into the refugee camp, he had seen several empty tear gas canisters that had been shot into the camp, with inscriptions reading, “Made in U.S.A.”
So Rosenberg addressed that man, “So you’re furious and would appreciate some support in improving your living conditions and gaining political independence?”
The man said, “Do you know what it’s like to live here for 27 years the way I have with my family, children and all? Have you got the faintest idea what that’s been like for us? Tell me, do you have children? Do they go to school? Do they have playgrounds? My son is sick! He plays in open sewage! His classroom has no books! Have you seen a school that has no books?”
Rosenberg responded, “I hear how painful it is for you to raise your children here.” Their conversation then continued for about 20 minutes, and Rosenberg listened to the man’s feelings and needs behind each statement. Gradually, the man was able to hear Rosenberg as he explained his purpose for being at the camp. An hour later, he even invited Rosenberg to his home for a Ramadan dinner.
You see? A seemingly inevitable and huge conflict was resolved. This is the power of the new way of communication explained in the book Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life.
