Eva Sheie (00:08):
This is a story about what happens when you have breast cancer told in real time.

Tita Gray (00:15):
Well, my official name is Dr. Tita Gray, and I have a doctorate degree I got from San Diego State. I used to be a professor there, and probably one of the best jobs I ever had in my life was working in higher ed and teaching. And many of my students are still some of my closest friends, but now we're family. And I went back east for a little while, still worked in higher Ed there, but it was mainly because my aunt who was dying from cancer was my mom's twin sister, and I was really just concerned about my mom's emotional health and being. And then Covid hit, so I had to stay and make sure that she was going to be okay through that, even though I couldn't really see her because she was in a senior apartment building. But I was like, I need to be close.

(01:06):
And then it ended, and this all sort of fits in, I decided I wanted to come back to California and I was just kind of working random jobs, doing some consulting work. And then finally I had an interview for the position I'm in right now where I run a department for human resources for the LA County Superior Court. And so it's been amazing. I have put out a couple of books through Montezuma Publishing, my old school, and self-published one myself about just my journey and sort of a memoir. Everything I do is kind of a way of giving back to others. I don't feel like I'm an award-winning writer and definitely not scholar or any of that. As a matter of fact, I got my doctorate degree because I wanted other black students, or particularly women of color to see that they could go work full time, be an older person and still get a doctorate degree. I wanted the students on campus, because there weren't many black students, to be able to have someone that looks like them, that they could call doctor. And that was really important to me. So there's not too much of a selfish bone in my body. So I even feel like this journey with breast cancer is so that I can possibly give back to others in some way.

Kristen (02:28):
And so can you tell us a little bit about, first of all, I am honored that you're with us.

Tita Gray (02:32):
Thank you. thank you.

Kristen (02:33):
And I so appreciate you trusting me and trusting us with your journey.

Tita Gray (02:39):
Yes. You're kind of easy to almost right off the bat.

Kristen (02:42):
Oh, thanks. And I really truly am here for you with whatever you need, whenever you need it. So can you take us back a little bit to when you found it? So you mentioned that you found it yourself.

Tita Gray (02:56):
Yeah. You know what's crazy though, I remember my mammogram last year, and they said, they wrote again, density, and they were talking about one particular area, and it was this left breast. I remember that whenever I would do my own breast exam, I was like, this just feels weird over here. And I wish in hindsight that I had said, can I have a sonogram? For some reason, I don't feel comfortable on this. It was just like, yeah, we should just probably watch this. And I'm like, probably watch it? So what does that mean? Because either if we watch it and that means something's going to happen or no, what are we watching? And I wish I had, because I have a feeling that this might've been there even last year, but just not showing up in the mammogram. But if we had done a sonogram, probably would've seen it.

(03:56):
So I was getting ready to, I started a new job October 27th, 2022. My new insurance kicked in January, and then I started working on getting my primary care provider. And that just was hell, it was just back and forth, back and forth, this person, wrong person, no time. And I finally called my insurance and I said, look, I really want to have a mammogram. I really have to get a colonoscopy, all these major checkups I want to have done, and I need you to help me get a provider. So they hooked me up with UCLA health and it was amazing. And so I'm doing breast exams at home, and then all of a sudden I feel a lump. And it was a lump. It wasn't like, is that something? It was like, oh, no, this is a lump. So a couple of days go by and I was like, okay, call my primary care doctor.

(04:53):
She wasn't available. So I said, I need to speak to the next available doctor. I need to see you right away. I found a lump on my breast. I met with her. She said, definitely it is a lump. I'm going to set up an appointment for a mammogram and a sonogram. And she set it up with UCLA, but the opening they had was in November. And I was like, oh, I'm not waiting until November. So I did my own calls and stuff and found a provider who could see me on, let me see, I think September 21st. And then what happened was I noticed that in that area where there was a lump, it was now sort of discolored. I could see the coloring. And I said, well, nope, I'm not waiting till September 21st. So I found somebody who could see me in a week, so it was September 8th or something like that. And went in and they said, yes, she has to have a biopsy.

(05:55):
And so then my primary care doctor again was like, okay, well, we'll make an appointment for you to have a biopsy, but you are going to have to bring the imaging all the way out to Santa Monica or someplace else. And then they'll set up an appoint, a doctor will see it and set up an appointment. And I was like, I'm not doing all of that. So I actually called Dignity Health where I went to at St. Mary's here in Long Beach, and they said, we can do the biopsy right here. We already have the imaging. We have doctors, they'll do the biopsy. And they said, we can literally get it done next week. Fine. And did that, they got that biopsy done, and it went back to my primary care doctor, and she called me and she said, yes, it does show positive for breast cancer and I need to get you into see an oncologist, ASAP.

(06:52):
That was a Thursday, and I saw my oncologist, what, two, maybe two Mondays ago, two weeks ago, something like that. And she was amazing. I brought one of my best friends with me to the appointment, and it wasn't really for morale or, I just wanted to make sure I didn't forget anything, and maybe she could hear something that I didn't hear. But the oncologist even had a stenographer with her. And this woman, this young lady, was taking copious notes. As a matter of fact, the doctor brought up something and she was like, oh, could you get, dah, dah, dah, and she said, I already did.

(07:32):
And it's just been now a whirlwind of radiology, PET scan, and a brain scan ,and another MRI scan, breast scan. And that was interesting because that showed that there was another spot, very small and that there could be something on the right side as well. So I am going to have another biopsy done, but my doctor just kind of feels like these small things will be taken care of with chemo. That's one of the reasons why she was just like, we just need to go in and just do aggressive chemotherapy right away. They seem to be kind of surprised by my reaction. And I said, I don't know how to react because was I shocked? Yeah, when I found the lump, I was shocked, and I kind of had in my head and I was like, okay, well let me go through the motions and not going to really share it with a lot of folks until I know what I know. And then I was just kind of like, this is such an inconvenience. This is just such a pain in the ass.

(08:48):
You know, like, okay, so I feel like there's a higher purpose that this is happening for. So I'm going to learn as much as I can, share as much as I can. And it doesn't mean that I don't get emotional about it, but it's not like a, oh, why me, emotion. This day and age, things that we're facing in this world, I mean, there's people that are dying from loneliness and suffering from mental health issues that are really devastating and debilitating. And I have something that actually had, I known certain things that I know now, I probably could have caught it a year earlier. So I've been passing on these things that I've been learning to other women, and it is just been great conversations.

Kristen (09:38):
That's exactly kind of why we do this, and I love your outlook on it. I always say that it was so rude because I was in the best shape of my life, and I was like, come on, really? And I'm still 25 pounds over that. And you work your whole life to be in great shape and all of that when you're in your fifties and sixties and seventies and then all of a sudden something comes and takes your feet off from under you. And it's just, again, it's so inconvenient and rude.

Tita Gray (10:09):
Yes, it's absolutely just rude. And there's certain things though that I found out, my oncologist, the first appointment was asking me all these questions, and I was just kind of like, Hmm, wonder why that's significant. So then something said, I went online myself and did some research and I said, what are the reasons why you can get breast cancer? And literally about three or the majority of them I was dealing with, or like if you got your period, start your period before 12 years old and start going to menopause. And not only did I go into menopause, but I also had a hysterectomy because of a cyst that was there, it was large and all this other stuff. That's one of the contributors to breast cancer. And then there were few,

Kristen (11:06):
They don't tell you that.

Tita Gray (11:07):
Right. And then there were a few others, and I was like, oh my gosh. I was going through this. My mom passed away in December, and while I was going back and forth to Boston in November while she was in the hospital and then in December, and then knowing that she wasn't going to make it, I was a wreck. My mom was my best friend, but yet I just started this new job. And it's not like I needed to keep face because they're the most wonderful people that I have ever worked with. They were offering to send me money because I had to go back and forth. They were like, don't worry about work. You're good. And I just started, you know what I'm saying? So for people to be that empathetic and caring when they barely know you says a lot. But I would still worried. And then when she did pass, and then some things my sibling was putting me through that were just horrific. Horrific. And I started drinking. And when I say started drinking, I'm such a wuss, but it was like two drinks here. Okay, I'll go out on the weekend, I'll have a couple. It is never getting drunk. I'm the worst drunk possible, so I'm just too much of a happy drunk,

(12:25):
So I don't do it. And I was eating uncharacteristically for myself. So I'm flying back and forth. I'm staying at a hotel instead of family. I'm staying with family. They're taking me out to drink, and I'm eating red meat. I'm eating lots of pasta. I'm eating just comfort food. I'm eating baked goods, which I don't really do sweets. And I started putting on a lot of weight. And so the weight that I was putting on, they talk about it, it was stress, weight, and I wasn't working out. And so all these lists of things, I was like, so what I realized though, my auntie, my mom's twin sister, also had breast cancer, and she beat it, and then cancer came back and it came back with a vengeance and just took her out. But I do believe that it was always there dormant, but based on some of the characteristics that they say are the reasons for getting it, and some of my own personal behavior, I think that triggered it. But it gave me a whole different outlook on how this can happen, come about, ways that it could have been prevented. And now I really suggest everybody get a genetic test.

Kristen (13:42):
I was just going to ask, did you do genetic testing?

Tita Gray (13:44):
Yeah, I didn't get the results yet, but I definitely did.

Kristen (13:48):
It takes a while.

Tita Gray (13:48):
Yeah.

Kristen (13:49):
Oh, I did the genetic testing, and even though my mom had ovarian cancer, I had zero markers out of 81. So I went through a period of time where I was like, wow, I caused this, or wow, this workplace thing caused this. And I feel the same way. I feel like, there's a great book that's called, it's by Dr. Gregor called How Not to Die. And I just read the, listened to actually, the part about cancer. But in there he talks about how we all have dormant cells and eventually they're going to come out. It could be when we're 150 and no one ever gets cancer while they're living, but then there are mutant cells that are their dormant and that sometimes our behaviors can bring them out. And so I know that you're a smart enough and savvy enough person not to get down on yourself about those things, but it's one of those things that we tend to do. And as women with all that we try to do, the stress is kind of always underlying. But I want to say, I'm really sorry about your mom, though.

Tita Gray (14:56):
Thank you.

Kristen (14:56):
I'm so sorry. That amount of stress is nuts.

Tita Gray (14:59):
Yeah, it was crazy. But you know what? I had this theory, and it was when everybody was, I lost a couple of people for Covid and, during Covid, and I got it twice. And neither time was I sick. I was tired, and that was really it. I was a little lethargic, I'm so tired, whatever. And then there were people who were athletes and 20, 30 years younger than me, and they're not recuperating, they're not getting better, or their sickness is prolonged, even after they tested negative. And I just said to myself, what the hell is that about? And I said, you know what? I bet that's a DNA thing, because if you have something that is dormant, some genetic issue or something that's just there that hasn't been triggered, and that was, I thought about it and I was just like, because this doesn't make sense to me. And now though, knowing what I know with being diagnosed with breast cancer, I was like, that's my theory, and I'm sticking to it.

Kristen (16:10):
Totally.

Eva Sheie (16:12):
Between when they called you and said, you have breast cancer, Tita and the oncologist appointment, that sounds like it was a few weeks.

Tita Gray (16:21):
No, no. It was a few days.

Eva Sheie (16:23):
It was a few days. What did you do with yourself?

Tita Gray (16:27):
No, it was a Wednesday, and my oncology appointment was that Monday. I did everything that I had already planned. I was still working. I took Toby to the dog park. Oh, some friends came over and we hung out and had a couple of bottles of Prosecco and laughed and joked and stuff. And everybody, I called folks and started telling them then that here's what's going on with me. So I talked to a lot, a lot of people who were very close to me and my immediate family back East. And the day of people were texting me, Hey, whatever the situation is, we got you. Let us know. What do you need? And it was that for even after the appointment, the next day. But in retrospect, I believe that a couple of times I did get emotional. Yeah, I know at one time in particular, I was in the kitchen and I was talking to my mom and I was like, I wish you were here. I know that if you were here, you would be here. You would jump on a plane with your canes and everything else, and you would be right here with your baby. And I didn't break down, but definitely shed some tears. And I was cooking, so I was like, well, I can't mess up my food. So I was like,

Kristen (17:53):
I would have burned my food and fell on the ground.

Tita Gray (17:55):
I was like, this cod was way too expensive for me to mess this up. And I was following a recipe too, so it was a really great distraction. So I was like, get on track, girl. Come on, dry up those tears. And that was the last I was drinking of a peanut, my favorite, I would say almost really my favorite beer is peanut butter stout. It's called Belching Beaver. And it's so good cuz I love peanut butter. I'm like a peanut butter hound. And so after that, those tears, I opened up a bottle of my stout and I was just like, Hey. So yeah, so that's been my journey with it. Now it's just October 30th is when it starts, and it's every single week.

Kristen (18:40):
That's chemo day?

Tita Gray (18:42):
And it's every day up until December 27th. The 25th is Christmas that Monday. So they

Kristen (18:50):
Wait, it's daily?

Tita Gray (18:51):
It's weekly. Did I say every day? Oh, goodness. No, weekly.

Kristen (18:54):
I was like, oh my gosh, I got to go up there.

Tita Gray (18:58):
No.

Kristen (18:58):
Okay. Okay. Weekly.

Tita Gray (19:01):
Yes. It's eight treatments, and two of those treatments are four hours. Every other one is one hour. The one actually on the 30th, the first one is for four hours.

Kristen (19:14):
And I'm sure that you don't know what the drug is yet, but.

Tita Gray (19:17):
I have no idea. I think I'll tell you this, I think that what my doctor's probably doing, she's a very methodical person, I could tell, and very patient, but she's waiting for all the tests to come back. And I still have to do another biopsy. But one day they have that thing that they put in you so that

Kristen (19:38):
The port.

Tita Gray (19:39):
The port, yeah. One of those days, yeah, that's, not looking forward to that.

Kristen (19:44):
No. Well, I can tell you I had my port put in almost three years ago, and it was right here. You can't see it.

Tita Gray (19:51):
Okay.

Kristen (19:51):
You can see a little indentation. And a lot of people have reservations about getting a port, but it's so easy for them to deliver the medication that way. And depending on the type of medicine, it can really thrash the veins in your arms. So I'm really glad that getting a port is just a foregone conclusion for you.

Tita Gray (20:13):
And also too, I mean, all the needles I've been getting and the radiation and all this stuff, I was just kind of like, you know what? If that's what you feel, if that's what you recommend, I know I have options, but when you explain it to me, the reason why I'm like, yeah. Cuz I don't want to have to keep getting poked and prodded every single week.

Kristen (20:33):
So from here, you have your port placement. You had your PET scan today. Am I right? Yeah. How'd that go? I haven't had a PET scan.

Tita Gray (20:43):
It made me feel really weird afterwards. I was tired little bit because you have to drink that stuff, and then they put some other stuff in your arm, and pretty much, I've been having so much radiation from brain scan, and the MRI, breast scan, and so I just think my body was kind of like, what the hell is all this stuff? They put stuff in you every single time.

Kristen (21:12):
So it's with contrast with and without, because they want to see it all.

Tita Gray (21:15):
Yeah.

Kristen (21:16):
Yeah. It's the weirdest feeling for all this stuff that it's just routine now. It's not even a question of, do you want this in your body? It's like, this is what we're doing because this is the test and we have to have this information. One of the things that I found myself really struggling with was, I'm feeling pretty good, and a month from now, I'm going to feel like shit, and I'm making this choice to do that. I am going to go break my body down, and I am so happy that you're doing the immunotherapy as well. Is that what happens with the four hours or do you know what that looks like at all?

Tita Gray (21:53):
I don't know that yet, but my doctor made it very clear that that's what I was going to, they're going be doing. And I think she said it is simultaneously. So yeah, I'm not really sure of the process, but she was very excited about that because she said it's fairly new, but it's been working really well to help people with side effects and their overall immune system.

Kristen (22:17):
That's fantastic.

Tita Gray (22:19):
I wouldn't be very truthful if I didn't say that, I am anxious. I'm not apprehensive, and I'm not scared, but I'm definitely anxious about the beginning of chemo. That's the best word I can use. I'm not even really stressed about it because I'm focusing more on, we have choices and how we want to think about things. Even if you have to really write it down, create affirmations and whatever you have to do to tell yourself that you need to remain optimistic and positive no matter what. And so I do that regularly, I laugh, I talk to people who I have things that I can laugh about with them. I listen to everybody else's drama and trauma, and I just like, yeah. And then they're like, oh, wait a minute I shouldn't be talking about me. And I'm like, no, please, because it's a great distraction. I'm blessed that the work that I do for the court is diversity, equity, and inclusion work. So I'm constantly doing things to help others to change our culture, to be a positive and welcoming culture. So the work that I'm doing is to give back, gives back, and that just helps me, so I can just have a little bit of a distraction from this annoying thing that I have to go through right now. Yeah. It's just annoying to me. It's just so rude.

Kristen (23:50):
It's so rude.

Eva Sheie (23:53):
It seems like you do a lot of, have done a lot of work around change management, helping people change, teaching others how to handle change. And I wonder if you're maybe feeling a little bit like now you have to teach yourself some of the stuff you've been teaching others.

Tita Gray (24:11):
Yes, exactly. Yeah. Somebody gave me a basket. I'm in a sorority and one of the largest African-American sororities, and somebody won a basket and it was all breast cancer related, and she gave it to me. She won it, and she gave it to me. And so I took one of the, they had this magnet there for your car, and it says, never give up, and it has the ribbon, and I put it on my car right away. And so that's another affirmation. So every time I get out of my car, I pass it, and I'm just like, yeah, never give up. So that's absolutely right, Eva, I constantly do things to have to remind myself of the things that I usually have to tell, I'm telling other people.

Kristen (25:00):
Yeah. Well, one of the things that I'm looking forward to too is, we kind of get thrown into this breast cancer culture arena, and with Instagram and all of that, I am pretty involved, and I see a lot of the talk. And I know that women of color, it's a very different experience with breast cancer and very different things to look for. People don't really understand how to help women of color with breast cancer. And so I'm really looking forward to what you bring to the table, your honesty and things that you find out that may be different.

Tita Gray (25:39):
I'm glad you bring this up. Several of my colleagues at work who are African-American women that I'm close to have developed friendship with, I literally got them all on a call and I said, here's what's going on with me. But I also told them some of the things that I learned, and none of them knew of genetic testing. And what I've found in the healthcare industry, unfortunately, historically, African-Americans have been treated differently, and particularly women. It is kind of crazy. I am just going to segue off a little bit. I remember once getting dental work done, and this particular young man was a brand new dentist. He's from Asia, China. And I was having extensive work done, and he wasn't giving me the pain medication that I needed. And when I screamed and kicked at him, and they came back and were talking to me and said, well, his impression is that African-Americans, women don't need as much, they have more of a threshold for pain.

(26:47):
Now check this out, it is not something that is new. This is something that if you check in articles, if you do research on how there has been a thought that African-Americans, particularly women, have a higher threshold for pain in healthcare. There are articles, among articles, on top of articles. And this is also a perception of people that come from other countries because this is what they have heard. So you bring up a good point. It has nothing to do with racism. It has nothing to do with. it's ignorance, and it is absolute bias, whether implicit or explicit, and it does continue. And so a lot of black women don't know about genetic testing. Maybe a lot of people don't, but it is something that we should know and that our insurance covers. And it costs, I think, less than a hundred dollars overall.

Kristen (27:45):
Yeah. I'm so glad that you explained it because I know there's an issue. I couldn't tell you what it was because it's just in the community, there's a buzz, but it has not been explained. And I am someone who never wants to offend or go someplace that I'm not welcomed to go in questioning. So I really value that you were able to tell us that in that way, because I don't think it's something that people who are white.

Tita Gray (28:18):
Well, I saw the shock. I saw the shock on both of your faces. And it's funny when I say this, because there's so many articles out there, and it's not that you're sitting around reading American Journal of Medicine articles, like that's your favorite reading.

Kristen (28:39):
Actually.

Eva Sheie (28:40):
I am.

Kristen (28:40):
Eva's a nerd, she does.

Tita Gray (28:42):
And because I was a vice president for American Dental Education Association, and I worked within access, diversity and inclusion, I worked with a lot of black dentists, and it's all documented. The information is there, the research is there, and it's just like supposedly we have this threshold for pain that others don't. Just like, no, you all just weren't giving us the medicine, the pain medicine that we needed, and as a result, we struggled through it.

Kristen (29:19):
But anything that is a significant difference or anything that is maybe a dense breast situation or some markers or some kind of symptoms that may be different for African-American women than me.

Tita Gray (29:35):
I think one of the things that I will start talking about too, and definitely with my sorority, because many of the women I see are very, very, very overweight, and they're obese. And it's just that you have to make quality changes. It has nothing to do with aesthetics and all of that, but there are things that you should understand about how bacteria sits in your stomach. Just different things that we can change to change our health and the quality of health. And then that's sort of what I'm learning. I'm just picking up all these little things that I want to pass on and then just say, you have choices. You don't have to do this, you can change it. Because eventually something is going to prevent you from having the quality of life that you really want to have when you get in your sixties and seventies if it hasn't already bothered you.

Kristen (30:28):
So on the 30th is your first chemo, and are you doing that at UCLA? Where are you doing that?

Tita Gray (30:35):
Yeah, in Torrance, yes.

Kristen (30:36):
In Torrance. Okay. That's great, because that's not far from Long Beach. I like that.

Tita Gray (30:40):
Yeah, exactly. And my friends that live in Torrance, it's literally two miles from their house.

Kristen (30:46):
Oh, good.

Tita Gray (30:46):
And so I'm going to stay with them one day. And then my other good friend is going to come from LA and take me and stay with me for the six. So they're all making plans of what days they're going to stay with me and my neighbor, who's the registered nurse, is going to do any of the days that they can't. So I have give her the calendar, and everybody wants each other's number and everything. And I'm like,

Kristen (31:13):
I love it.

Tita Gray (31:14):
In my head, I'm like, I'm going to be fine. But I'm like, cut it out, let people take care of you.

Kristen (31:20):
It's hard. It's very hard to let people take care of you, but let them.

Tita Gray (31:26):
Yes.

Kristen (31:27):
One thing I wanted to find out from you too is do you have any questions for me? You can always text me. You can always call me. But right now, is there anything that you're wondering from the veteran?

Tita Gray (31:39):
Exactly. A crazy veteran thing.

Kristen (31:44):
Isn't it? It's the worst club.

Tita Gray (31:46):
It's just right? It's just how does chemo feel? How does it feel going in your body? Cuz it's killing everything. So it's just this feeling of death is going in my body. You know what I mean? What does that feel like?

Kristen (32:04):
So first they'll do a flush and it's kind of cold. One thing that I thought was the weirdest thing is when they flush with saline, my mouth tasted like what I thought acetone for your nail, like nail polish or whatever, would taste like. I don't know, it was weird. And it depends on the chemo that you have.

Tita Gray (32:22):
True.

Kristen (32:23):
I had the AC chemo, which they called the Red Devil, and they had me sucking on ice chips during that time because it can cause sores in your mouth. I mean, it didn't really feel like anything except when I started with the Taxol. Now, Eva, do you remember the full body itching? There was the first time I had Taxol.

Tita Gray (32:46):
What is that?

Kristen (32:47):
It's a chemo drug. I had AC for eight weeks, and it was every other week. And then the Taxol I had for 12 weeks, and it was every week. And they had me wearing ice mittens and ice booties because it can cause neuropathy.

Tita Gray (33:02):
Oh, wow.

Kristen (33:02):
But it literally made my genitals itch, nothing I had ever imagined. And my whole body was itching for 20 minutes. I was bald and I was putting my cold mittens on my head because that's the only way I could get my head to stop itching.

Tita Gray (33:21):
Right, so stimulation.

Kristen (33:22):
Yeah, something. So it completely depends on the drug.

Tita Gray (33:27):
You were home while you were itching, scratching your genitals, so right? You weren't like,

Kristen (33:31):
No, I was in the chair.

Eva Sheie (33:34):
No, at chemo.

Kristen (33:35):
It was during the infusion. I was sitting there just doing this. I was calling her, I was buzzing her. I was like, I'm itching everywhere. Oh, yeah, that'll stop soon. I'm like, one, she's like, 20 minutes.

Tita Gray (33:47):
I'll be raw by then.

Kristen (33:50):
Exactly. I was like, okay, I'm just going to sit here. So I kind of just sat there. Yeah. And then I think Natasha said that, she said, my butthole itched.

Tita Gray (33:59):
Oh my God.

Kristen (34:00):
I don't know what the itching is down in that area. I don't know if there's extra nerves or what, but I think that we called that a new type of hell or something like that when Eva was hearing about it.

Eva Sheie (34:10):
You should really save some of this for later. Or maybe I just,

Kristen (34:14):
Yeah. <laugh>

Eva Sheie (34:17):
<laugh> Save some of these treats for later, Kristen.

Kristen (34:19):
Sorry about that. A little TMI..

Tita Gray (34:22):
I mean, women go through nine months of childbirth and they go through tons of different things, and birthing a child is not, it's very serious thing, though it happens all the time, but it's routine, but it's still not, it's dangerous. And I'm not trying to compare the two because one is absolutely amazing, and the other, going through cancer is ridiculous, but your body goes through all these crazy things and you don't expect it the first time. You don't know what to expect. So you just go through it with no expectations. So that's kind of how I'm facing it. It's like whatever it is going to be, I'll call Kristen afterwards and just be like,

Kristen (35:06):
Exactly. Well, what I was going to say is if you're okay with it within a day or two after that first chemo, I would love to get back on the mic if you're feeling well enough.

Tita Gray (35:16):
All right. Well, I'm your girl. We're going to do this together.

Kristen (35:19):
All right.

Eva Sheie (35:20):
Love you, Tita. Thank you for doing this.

Tita Gray (35:23):
Thank you, Eva. It was nice meeting you.

Kristen (35:25):
Yeah, thank you so much.

Eva Sheie (35:26):
We appreciate you and we love you.

Tita Gray (35:28):
Yeah, I love you all too.

Kristen (35:30):
So much.

Tita Gray (35:32):
All right. Well, it's nice meeting you Eva. Big kisses to you, Kristen, as and I will talk with you all soon.

Eva Sheie (35:41):
Thank you for listening to Breast Cancer Stories. To continue telling this story and helping others, we need your help. All podcasts require resources, and we have a team of people who produce it, there's costs involved, and it takes time.

Kristen (35:56):
If you believe in what we're doing and have the means to support the show, you can make a one-time donation, or you can set up a recurring donation in any amount through the PayPal link on our website at breastcancerstoriespodcast.com/donate.

Eva Sheie (36:10):
To get the key takeaways from each episode, links to anything we've talked about and promo codes or giveaways from our partners, sign up for our email newsletter.

Kristen (36:20):
You'll get notes and thoughts from me related to each episode, and links to the most useful resources for all the breast cancer things. So if you have chemo brain, you'll be able to just go read your email, find anything we talked about on the podcast without having to remember it.

Eva Sheie (36:34):
The link to sign up is in your show notes and on the newsletter page at breastcancerstoriespodcast.com.

Kristen (36:40):
We promise not to annoy you with too many emails.

Eva Sheie (36:45):
Thanks for listening to Breast Cancer Stories. If you're facing a breast cancer diagnosis and you want to tell your story on the podcast, send an email to hello@theaxis.io. I'm Eva Sheie, your host and executive producer. Production support for the show comes from Mary Ellen Clarkson, and our engineer is Daniel Croeser. Breast Cancer Stories is a production of The Axis, theaxis.io.