Allison Guinn, Actor, Singer, Storyteller

00:00
I think I first realized I had anxiety when I had a panic attack in the middle of my Priscilla Queen of the Desert audition.

00:18
Welcome to another episode of Chewing the Fat. I am your host, Big Robb. Thank you so much for tuning in. I certainly do appreciate you downloading the episode wherever you are. Thank you so much for listening in. Also, thanks to Steven for buying me a coffee at ChewingTheFatBR.com. It really helps keep the podcast rolling. And I'm really excited about my guest today. I have been...

00:43
Excited for months to have her on the show because she was on one of my favorite series right now. Please welcome from New York City, Miss Allison Guinn. Oh, hi. Hey. How are you? I'm good. How are you doing? I'm great. I'm here in Astoria. Yeah. It's loud. It's alive and I have not been outside in two days, but that's fine. Yeah?

01:13
Go get into that later. Okay. So, Allison, I, just to give a background, I became a fan of yours, I think, when you were on tour as Madame T with Les Mis. Oh, yeah. As you scroll through Instagram, and me being a theater person and an aspiring actor, and I came across you and some of your posts as Madame T.

01:42
they were just so full of life. And so I was like, this is somebody I need to follow. I need to see what this person has going on in their life. And you just do so many amazing things. The one thing I think that probably blew me away the most, the fact that you're an auto harpist. Because that's such a cool, rare, interesting instrument to have mastered.

02:09
And hearing nice. Yes, very very niche But you but to hear the the songs that you would do You know solo and then also with Cormack and Guinn It's just so cool. And so I am just I'm over the moon to have followed your career and to now be speaking you today Thank you so much for agreeing to be here. Thank you for having me. I'm tickled. Awesome. Awesome How did you get into?

02:38
theater, have you always been the dramatic child in the family? Middle child, yes. So, middle child. I am the middle child of, I have two brothers and I grew up in Northeast Tennessee, right in the buckle of the Bible belt. Yeah, yeah. Oh, not a lot going on up in the mountains. It's a very Mayberry existence.

03:07
Um, so, um, I got a sense of humor from my granny, which is, uh, why I, um, idolized her a lot and growing up. And she was also always so full of life and had this great dark sense of humor that I hope I have gotten. But, um, uh, so I think I got the acting bug or the.

03:36
Look at me, look at me bug from her. Yeah. That's awesome. Now, so where about in Middle Tennessee? Cause I'm down here in Augusta, Georgia. Again, still in the lower edge of that buckle of the Bible. Northeast Tennessee. It's, do you know where Johnson city is? Yeah. Yeah. That wagon wheel annoying song that everyone says, Johnson city. Yeah.

04:02
That's where I went to college. I grew up in a tiny town that could be considered a suburb of Johnson city called Irwin. We are infamous for, uh, in the early 1900s, hanging a circus elephant by railroad crane. So very colorful background. That is very weird.

04:32
Very, very odd. Yeah. But you know, I think those areas when you grow up where maybe there aren't the opportunities to do what you're currently doing now, and we, as entertainers, we have that kind of fire inside us that spur us to reach out, to find those places, to find our tribe as it is. Right, right, right. So.

05:01
Go ahead. No, no, you were saying? I was just saying, there wasn't a lot of opportunity to act per se, but there was singing in church, which I did, and storytelling, the National Storytelling Festival is like one town over in Jonesboro, so that was very big to know how to tell a good story. Yeah.

05:29
I got that from my grandmother as well. She could tell a really good story. So in those two ways. And I always loved rock and roll for summer. I think I got that from my dad. Half of me is, you know, old Carter family, old time country songs from my granny and the other half is, you know, the Beatles and Led Zeppelin and Janis Joplin and that era.

05:58
That's those are my musical tastes, which is, you know, my, my mom says, it's a, you're half redneck, half like Southern fry redneck, but, um, you know, uh, I feel like I've gotten a good, uh, good sample of both good forms of music. Absolutely. Yeah. And I mean, there's a lot of music that kind of comes from both of those genres as it is, you know, and.

06:24
Being a little country, a little rock and roll, there's nothing wrong with that. That's right, I'm both Osmonds in one. Yes. Um. Um. So where did you go from, uh, Johnson City, Tennessee? So you went to, you went to college there. I went to college at ETSU, you know, um, growing up in a, in a tiny Southern town, there's not a lot of opportunity to make acting, uh, your, your, your living. Um.

06:53
And they told me that at ETSU. And I mean, it's a good lesson to learn. I kind of majored in theater because it was the only thing that I was really good at, honestly. I'm terrible at math, even though I wish I were. My dad's an accountant, my brother's an accountant. But for some reason, I just didn't get that gene. I tried to do English.

07:21
literature, but I found myself falling asleep in class. My mom's an English major, so sorry, mom. So it was either teaching or theater, and I can't get up that early. And I'm terrified of teenagers. My mom taught high school. Teenagers scare me to death. Sorry,

07:50
gave up and majored in theater and fully prepared to, you know, starve and do all that or find some kind of career that would go into acting somehow. Like I probably would end up teaching or whatever, which is great. But I knew when it came time to go to grad schools, I knew a...

08:16
I couldn't go to some great big expensive grad school because we didn't have the money. And B, I knew if I didn't at least try to be an actor, I would regret it for the rest of my life. So I had some options to go like to southern Mississippi for grad school or some people that I met in a outdoor theater.

08:46
said, have you heard we're auditioning for this place called Circle in the Square Theater School and it's in New York City and it's a conservatory school and it's acting classes from from the best like people from Juilliard come over to get a tax break and teach because it's a not-for-profit theater. So

09:09
I was up there doing a mass grad school audition anyway. So I said, why don't I just go ahead and audition for this conservatory school? So I did and I got in. It wasn't as expensive as grad school, some of the big grad schools I wanted to go to, but it was also living in New York. So I knew if I didn't try, at least try the big thing, I would regret it. So I just took the leap and did it.

09:38
Um, a lot of people shook their heads at it and I was like, okay, let's let her, you know, do this. And, um, I got up here, I lived in a two bedroom apartment in Brooklyn with three girls, I lived in the living room and I went to school at circle in the square for two years and it was, it was great because not only did it.

10:05
show me all these different forms and ways of being a real actor, and show me how to audition and all this stuff, but it got me acclimated to the city with a bunch of people who had never been in the city before as well. So it was really kind of like New York one-on-one, and that was great. I tell my kids all the time, especially my son who's a jazz pianist, and I'm like, that's great. Those jobs don't exist in Augusta. You gotta go where the work is.

10:34
Absolutely. He wants to compose and he wants to do, and I said, that's amazing. I said, once you get established, you can move back home because then people will find you, but you have to go where people can know who you are and they physically can see you and all like that. So you think that that is a big part of, I mean, obviously following dreams, but you got to make the decision to be where other eyes can be on you that you want to see you. Absolutely.

11:02
Yeah, that's a that's a scary step, but it's an important step. Yeah. So what was what was your first, quote unquote, big audition from school there? Oh, my goodness. Um, I would you know, I was non equity for non equity actor for a long time. And I would just, you know, look at backstage and promise myself I audition for three things a week while I

11:31
waited tables at a Mexican restaurant from 8 p.m. to 4 a.m. in the morning on the weekends. And just tried to do what I could. I think the first big audition was that they have something called the Fringe Festival up here. I don't know if COVID has killed that off, but it should come back. But auditioning for the Fringe was a good opportunity for a lot of people to get their foot in the door.

11:59
And I did because I auditioned for a big musical called Williamsburg, the musical. And it's about a Williamsburg hipster trust fund baby that falls in love with a Hasidic Jewish person. Yes, gentrification comes into it a lot. The weird thing

12:26
about that was it was very popular. It was the bestseller of the French Festival. And we recorded a soundtrack. And so it was kind of just a very, it's a good immersive. And I made so many good friends that I still have to this day doing that. You know, in tiny little, you know, the theaters in the village. So that was a lot of fun. That's awesome. I did a lot of weird.

12:55
Like my favorite was I was a part of this musical group. We played like the Delancey and things like that where they would put plywood over a banquet seating would be their stage. It was called Red Hot Mama. We took heavy metal and...

13:19
classic rock songs and turn them into piano cabaret and comedy sketches. Oh, wow. No one got it, but us and we loved it. I loved it. Uh, I would sing like man in a box from Alice in chains. Is it like, as the cell blockchain go, um, I say, Oh gosh, I sang something as a possessed nun.

13:47
That kills herself at the end. Yes. Comedy quotes. Um, I think we sang motorhead, like Viva Las Vegas. Yeah. Um, so a lot of, a lot of weird things we didn't catch on. I think our biggest thing was we went to Provincetown for the summer and we got booed off the stage, but cause no one understood we weren't a drag act. We weren't burlesque. So. But.

14:16
I was quite proud of that, creatively of what we did. Yeah. We sang Nirvana's lithium as a gospel song. Amy Douglas was the genius behind that. She put out something in Craigslist and that was back when it was safe to go to people's, well, it probably still wasn't safe, but I went to her apartment and auditioned in Chelsea and we, we just started doing that.

14:45
I'm quite proud of that. But those are my two big auditions to begin with that I thought I am a New York artist. Yeah. Obviously doing that had to be a big boost for your confidence to spur you on to go into other things. It also gave me confidence in the musical theater world because I didn't feel like I belonged in musical theater at all. Really?

15:12
Because I wasn't trained as a musical theater person. I knew I loved music, but I didn't. I have a naturally low singing voice and there's not a lot of call for that. Or a female and a rock voice at that. And sometimes a country voice. It's very, so I didn't find a place that I belonged in musical theater. So I thought, okay, I just have to go to other places to get that musical fix. But, um,

15:42
Red Hot Mama and Williamsburg, the musical, showed me that there was a place for me. And yeah, so that gave me some confidence in the musical theater realm. And do you think part of that may have been this, again, as musical theater itself, in the productions that were being made at the time? And if you don't fit that mold, it doesn't matter. You could come in and blow somebody away with an audition.

16:11
But if you don't fit the mold that the character has been for the past 30 years or whatever, you're not gonna get the opportunity. Yeah. I tried for a long time when I got out of school to try to fit into a mold and that just didn't work. And I found out the more authentic that I could be was the way to go really. Just embrace the weird.

16:39
Well, and I think that as a performer, when you do that, when you can be more honest with yourself, I think people see that, you know, when you bring that to the audition or whatever, you know, and knowing, you know, knowing your type, but also knowing what you want to do. Yeah. You know? And I think that's a very important part about that whole process. Yeah. When picking representation, a big conversation for me went with,

17:10
I am not really interested in typical castings. I want to find different ways to think about roles that are traditionally cast as men or as skinny girls or as sopranos. When you're unique, you have to think outside the box as well when it comes to casting for things.

17:39
Um, so I was looking for an agent or a manager that would be on board with that. And luckily I think we found a good fit and we've started to try to push, push those little boundaries a little bit. Right. Um, including your most recent role that I am aware of you, the season just wrapped up season four of the marvelous Ms. Maisel. You were the lovely and talented bunny.

18:08
One of the Walnut girls. The fragile feminine bunny. Yes. Yes. What was that process like? The audition and then and then we'll talk about what did it feel like to get that call back to get that booking. Well the world shut down as we all know right after I finished my two and a half year touring process with Les Mis.

18:37
And I had moved out on my own for the first time, um, into my own apartment, cause I was ready to take that next step, you know? And then the world shut down. So I was for that year, I'll buy myself in an apartment in Queens for, um, for most of the year. So, um, all of the auditions I had when auditions started picking back up were on this new fancy.

19:06
thing called zoom and or self tapes. And so like everybody else, I invested in the recording equipment and the lights and the, and the backdrops and all that. And I got, I got my, I think it was Christmas 2020 when I got the self tape request for, um, just a stripper, like a burlesque artist or male.

19:36
and they didn't know what was going to who. So they gave us a varied assortment of the lines that were either Tilly, Mitzi or Bunny. And they just had us read them all. And so I taped myself reading that. And then I think there was a moving component where we're supposed to like strut in and see how we would move as a character. And I did that, got all dolled up. And my...

20:05
fanciest lingerie, my fanciest pandemic lingerie. And...

20:11
recorded that in my living room in Queens and sent it off right before Christmas. And then I got a call back on Zoom and everyone was very responsive and they liked that I was doing this deadpan kind of surly thing because I imagine women that had to be burlesque artists in a not very popular

20:41
Burlesque Theater in New York City were made of strong stuff, I would imagine, and we're just over it. So I guess I projected that and that was something that they liked. And I got the role of Bunny. Started fittings in February and that was a great process. Donna the designer, Donna Zekowska. I'm sorry, Donna, if I pronounced your name wrong.

21:12
She had this great idea, which I just loved and leaned into hard, of making everything that Bonnie wore pink. So, and fluffy and girly and just as feminine as possible because I was playing basically, like I say, John Goodman in a dress. I wanted her to be very,

21:39
not unapologetic and hard as nails and just did pan as possible. And the pink was just like chef's kiss, the perfect accent on that. So, um, that informed me a lot and so much tool, just some, I call it a three, three and not a two, two. There's this one scene I sat down and you couldn't see anything but my face and tool. Um,

22:07
So that was a lot of fun. The costumes were most of it, honestly. And then they said, oh, can you do a dance call? I said, a what? What? A come again. Marguerite Derricks is the choreographer for Miss Maisel. And she has choreographed some tiny things like the beginning of Austin Powers, those gap commercials, you know, in the 90s.

22:35
when everyone had like the jump, jive and whale thing, you know. And oh, a little movie called Showgirls. Just choreographed that. Just that. It's no big deal. So I had to do like a dance, Zoom dance call.

22:55
uh, for her and, um, L'Oreal who did the aerial choreography for Pink. Um, you can see her in Miss Maisel. She is Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz strip number. She flies through the air and she's very wonderful and talented. And I was very intimidated, but they, after that, they, they said that I could probably put, know my left from my right and have a sense of rhythm.

23:25
Like I say, I went to clowns, I took clowning lessons and I didn't really go to the dance route of musicals. So, um, I did have dance when I was a little kid, but you know, I had the physique is of the same as I do now. So I didn't go very far. Um, but yeah, so luckily I passed the, the dancing component and then they started rehearsals.

23:55
And they were new 42 stages on 42nd street. And you can see the strip of 42nd street, Madam Tussauds. And, you know, it's like pinnacle of New York. I've made it into the acting world when you get to rehearse there. Yeah. So there were all these very talented burlesque artists. Yeah. And then there was me.

24:25
some of them rehearsing in just like a corset and fish nets and high heels. And I'm like, whoa, okay. Well, what's the expectation for me for rehearsal here? Yeah, I was just, it was, and there was a camera crew there because I guess, I don't know, to record for Amy and Dan, the directors to know what the.

24:53
the routine's going to look like. So I was just so intimidated and terrified the whole time. And, you know, plus being like one of the only places I've gone in, I'm in public and require a while. So that was so, but I made it. I made it. I, you know, fake it till you make it. I have been in Broadway shows before that require dancing with incredible dancers, like on the town had, you know,

25:23
Megan Fairchild and you know, Misty Copeland and people like that. And half the cast of this new West Side story was in On the Town. So I had been around professional dancers, but only as a clown, you know, only to fall down on cue, never to dance with them, you know? So this was really intimidating when I got through it and I faked my way through it.

25:50
Well, not faked, I did it. You did it, absolutely. I did it, I did it. They were very gracious and supportive and wonderful and just, you know, imposter syndrome kicked in big time. So, but I made it and I did it. And then we started shooting and that was amazing and incredible. And it's my first time on a soundstage and my first time they recreated an entire theater.

26:19
on a soundstage. Yeah, I read that. And that set was amazing. Wet seriously, because it was the first time since the pandemic, since Les Mis that I had been on a stage and to the point where we didn't know if we were going to be on a stage ever again, you know, and then here it is. And I'm one of these lucky people that actually booked a job in the pandemic. And it was very overwhelming and very, I felt like the luckiest.

26:50
fat little girl from Irwin, Tennessee ever. But yeah, I just was, it was, I had to remind myself every day like, this is, this is it, take this in, this is what you live to do. Yeah. And here you are. Absolutely. Enjoy every single bit of it. Yeah. I did.

27:16
It was that wonderful feeling of being so excited to be living your dream and terrified. Right, right. Just, just sustaining yourself on adrenaline and yeah. And those I said those Wofford scenes were probably some of my favorite of the entire season this year. I mean, um, again, cause the set it's a character in and of itself and

27:44
those one shots that they would do that would go from, you know, backstage from the, I mean, from the loading bay doors all the way through and all the way out to the stage, just beautiful. And for it to have been all built as on a soundstage instead of like, you know, being in some sort of historic theater, it was just amazing. Oh my God. Cause you know, there's not a lot of historic theater for them to shoot at, cause there's the slipper room and that's it.

28:13
Uh, honestly, that looked like an old 1950s, 1940s, uh, theater. So they had, they just built a new one. Simple, whatever. Uh, that backstage, that dressing room alone, there are little like intricacies that we would find every day. And I'm like, I took a picture because.

28:39
What's funny is my boyfriend before I booked this part. He called me bunny. Oh And which is really weird. Yeah, I thought and I call him bear. I know it's so sweet it you could kill yourself but um Bunny and bear and then I looked at my little station. I haven't told nobody about this and there's a postcard To from to bunny

29:06
from somebody who called themselves your darling bear. What? And I took a picture of it and I'll send you a picture if you want to show it. But I was like, what? Get out of my brain. These top people are like next level. Yeah. That's so cool. That was really, that was a really weird coincidence. Yeah, I just cloud nine the whole time. Yeah.

29:36
And then, you know, I was surprised to see James Monroe, Igelhart leading the band in the pit as well as Charlie. You know, I didn't even know he was down there. Really? Because we didn't get to see him. Right. And when I found out it was him, I was like, hi. Yeah. Food. That is so cool. And I mean, just the, I'm sorry, the level of talent of every person on that show.

30:06
It's just how do you get this many super talented people all in one spot to do this one thing is just magical. It's just, and let me just talk about these Wulford women. These people, these artists, these burlesque artists that have dedicated their lives to this. And you see maybe them like walking in the background. Dirty Martini, I don't know if you know her. She is...

30:35
an icon in not only in the burlesque world, but she is the first plus size burlesque star of note. She tours with Deidavon T's. She's a star. And for them to get her, I was just like, I was, because I knew of her for a long time. And when I actually met her, I was like, it's such an honor to meet you. And she was so down to earth and cool and just

31:04
I think used a lot of her own like wardrobe pieces. She's just amazing. And then everybody, Rosie Cheeks, Ivory Fox, who you see in the bathtub and Rosie is the harem girl. They just phenomenal work, all of them. Amazing people. Yeah, and I encourage you, if you've not seen the season of Marvelous Ms. Maisel, you need to check it out on Amazon Prime Video.

31:33
as quickly as you can. If you've not seen the series at all, watch the whole series, binge the whole thing, because it's probably one of the best written, best executed series that are out there. I love it. I've always been a fan because that's the part of New York. That's the era of New York, that's the time of New York. Even to the location of the Gaslight Cafe, all that. I...

32:01
That's the part I romanticized and made me want to move to New York because I was a folk singer. I thought if I was going to be, I'm miss Maisel, I'd be playing auto harp in the background somewhere. Right. There's this line that Susie says in one of the previous, it sees as it said, I told you no auto heart. Well, there it blows my chance of everything. But luckily I made it on without the auto harp. But yeah.

32:30
I just loved that era of New York and that time, because it's right before things peak with the sixties. It's getting into it. It's right. It's an amazing, it's an amazing time. Well, speaking of the auto harp, you have written your own solo show. The auto harp is featured in very heavily. Yeah. It's a weird little Frankenstein of a show where, um,

33:01
where I take like, it's like a cabaret setup, where it's a concert with storytelling. But it's not like a cabaret show because it doesn't have show tunes. It's old time country gospel and mixed with the stories my grandmother used to tell us. And murder ballads are thrown in there too because she just, my granny had a really dark sense of humor. It's about her, Daisy Dean.

33:29
Her name is Daisy Dean Irwin Sherrill and she basically led this weird Dickensian life through the Great Depression in Appalachia, where her parents died real young. When she was real young too, they split her, she and her brother up and they lived separately and her grandparents brought her up and she...

33:57
you know, was kind of like the Cinderella of the family. They treated her kind of like a servant. She had to earn her keeps. She didn't have a lot. She didn't even have toys, you know. So she had all these fantastical stories that you're like, this can't be true because they're so severe, but they are. And they're so amazing to me that I, when she passed on, I made this concert to,

34:27
to honor her because honestly, I was supposed to sing at her funeral and I messed it up so much. Oh, so? Because A, I was too emotional to do her justice. And B, I don't know if you know the Auto Heart, but it has a billion tuning pegs. And if you are interrupted at all during the tuning process,

34:55
Um, you have to kind of start back at square one or you'll lose your place. And while I didn't start back at square one, I was interrupted and I basically tuned half of the heart one to one key and half the heart to another. And so when I went to play, uh, at the funeral, it sounded horrible. So I put it down, tried to sing acapella. It was just really torn up that I didn't.

35:24
do well the way she would have deserved to have a tribute. And so I made this show kind of as a, this is what I imagine she would want as a tribute to her life. If she could, Tom Sawyer, what is it? Tom Sawyer, her way into her own funeral, this is what I think she'd want. So that's where it came from and it helped me a lot therapeutically because

35:53
She was my best friend, yeah. And so I made this selfishly for myself and for her. And I didn't know if it would have much of an audience, but I put it together and I keep doing it every once in a while. And yeah, it's very weird because she's got the darkest sense of humor that I've ever.

36:21
met and some of the stories are so bleak that you just have to laugh at them. And that's what the show's about too, because it's sometimes when life is at its worst, you have to laugh. And that's what got her through her life. Music and laughter and using that, that is her legacy of getting through the hard times through song and through laughter. And it's a valuable tool.

36:50
Let me tell you as an actor and as a human nowadays. So it also encouraged me to really push that narrative of who are the people in your family that seem to be normal but are really heroic. The storytellers in your family, what's the cool stories in your family and pass those on.

37:17
and keep that going, keep their legacies going, because it's important. Oral history is important.

37:28
All right, Allison, this is the second segment of the show. This is where we dive a little bit deeper into you. We talk about mental health and how the things that we do can affect us on our day to day. Everybody, whether they admit it or not, deals with some form of anxiety, depression, you call it a down day, whatever. And as artists, I feel that those affect...

37:56
not us necessarily more than others, but it's processed differently for sure. But how do you keep the darkness at bay? Well, humor. That's a, that's a big thing. Sometimes, you know,

38:20
Sometimes I don't want to say the darkness wins, but you just got to go, you win this battle darkness. I have depression and anxiety. I take pills for a daily. I think I first realized I had anxiety when I had a panic attack in the middle of my Priscilla Queen of the Desert audition at Telsey Studios.

38:49
And I say I retell it with humor because I don't know what else to do with it. But I noticed when I was singing, finally by C.C. Penniston.

39:03
that my hands were shaking and I started to cry and I couldn't catch my breath. So it kind of came out like, finally, it's happened to me. You know, tears streaming down my face, unable to stop it. And I think the casting person, I don't think they knew what was happening. Because I think he kind of thought it was an acting choice.

39:30
Because the song is finally it happened to me. And I just cannot hide it. You know, and he was like, well, that's, that's, that's fun. Are you. And then I ended up having to say, excuse myself from the audition and leave. And then I threw up in the bathroom. Um, that's when I realized my anxiety was unmanageable. So.

39:59
I had been meeting with a therapist, and we discussed depression for a while, but this was the first time that anxiety just butted its head in. And I realized that I had been dealing with it in social anxiety the most, in weird and awkward ways that I didn't know was anxiety at the time I had it.

40:28
I think I've had it ever since I was a kid, but didn't know how to say, Oh, that's what it was. So, you know, it's interesting. And I realized that, you know, at parties, I would put on this face and, you know, maybe, you know, have too many drinks and then to numb myself from.

40:57
being terrified. And then I became sober and realized once I tried my first party without alcohol, I was like, Oh my God, I hate this. I hate this. I want to leave. So yeah, I had been medicating with different things, you know, like food and

41:25
mainly food and alcohol or putting on this being what I call on all the time. And to deal with the social anxiety that I had that I didn't know I had. So, the more I talk about that in my therapy, the better. But yeah, and I have a tendency to isolate. I don't know about you.

41:55
But I find that the pandemic, I was more prepared for the pandemic than most people. Because I said, what? Spend all my time inside and watching movies and creating weird videos for me playing songs and just never going outside? I'm in, let's do this. I was on the Les Mis tour and

42:22
people call me grandma because I would never go out after this show. And just because, you know, if you're not, there's really, it really didn't appeal to me. And it's not like I don't like people. It's just that I am a homebody and I tend to isolate and it's something I've got to watch. But at the same time, it's, and I was prepared for that pandemic, boy. I was ready. I was right at home.

42:50
Queens has things to say right now. They're honking their horns. That's fine. That's fine. Yeah, and I think you're right. As a performer, you know, you have this sense of needing to be on all the time. And it's exhausting and people don't understand that. And it's like, you know, I just, I may have, maybe I did a, you know, two or three show day and I'm exhausted. I don't.

43:19
It's not that I don't like you. I've literally seen you all day though. Yeah. I don't need extra time with that. I need extra time with a bed or a couch or a book or a movie or something. We're interesting people did the people that are comedians, but are introverts at the same time. People don't understand that. Because what do you mean? You're hilarious. Well, I like to think I'm hilarious, but you know, tell me a joke. Funny person. You're.

43:48
you should be live in the party, but it's just this weird, this is weird thing that exists in me. It's, I know I tell, I tell friends that all the time. I'm like, look, you know, if you want to scare the shit out of me, put me in a room with like four to six people that I don't know and expect me to do anything other than stand in a corner.

44:15
and have a drink or eat whatever canapé off of a plate, because that's where I'm gonna be. Now, you put me on a stage in front of 10,000 people, I have no problem at all. Totally at home, yeah. Same with auditions, like, I hate them so much because it's that exact same thing. You're in a tiny room being judged by these people that you don't necessarily know. But if you're in front of a giant stage, it's home. Yeah, exactly.

44:44
Exactly. And again, not that you don't like people, not that you, it's just, that is the most uncomfortable for me. That's the most uncomfortable place to be. I would either have like, you know, sit somewhere with one person that I do know, or, you know, a couple of people that I do know, but that, that weird middle ground is, is where it is just, it is just death to me. Yeah, death. Absolutely. See, yes, can't do spirits.

45:12
I don't know what it is. I really don't.

45:18
I wish I did. I found coping mechanisms, though, where you can, a lot of times, if I'm in that situation, you ask people about themselves as much as possible. You basking them out themselves, because they will, they'll talk, people love to talk about themselves usually. And so I do that a lot. Oh gosh, I was babysitting some, a seven-year-old, and the mother was like,

45:46
He wants to go play in the playground with his friends after school, but that also meant that the moms of these other children would be around me. And it was just, I was terrified the whole time. It's so uncomfortable. And I was like, well, okay. But at the same time, I was like, no, this is horrible. This is my house, this is house.

46:13
being a singer, sometimes you can get by with vocal rest. You're like vocal rest. I'm sorry. I can't talk. Just write it down. Write it down. So if you have anxiety socially, these are some coping mechanisms. Fake vocal rest. Ask people about themselves. Breathe. Yeah, for sure.

46:41
In that though, I mean, because obviously you're still going to be in those audition rooms. This is the path you've chosen. How do you psych yourself up for that? How do you prepare for that? Honestly, I do have the help of half a lorazepam. I'm not going to lie. There's nothing wrong with that. Just because I don't want that Priscilla experience again.

47:11
I also find that as familiar I can be with material as possible. The more I rehearse it, the better. It can bite you in the butt because if they ask you to make an adjustment and you're not open to being, you're used to this one pattern, it's difficult to break out of it.

47:39
is something that I kind of have to do to deal with my nerves. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, and the worst part of the audition for me is the, the, hi, how are you at the beginning while they look over your resume and, you know, or the deadly, if they ask you something from your book and then you saying something else for us. Um, it's just,

48:06
I don't know, I just try to get in and out without saying anything too stupid. Because that's, I try to be funny when I, when I get to that panic place. And sometimes I say the dumbest things. Then like just get in, get out, do the thing, be very polite and don't say anything too dumb. Yeah. So it's rough. It's still rough. Yeah. I still, I love.

48:33
Honestly, people hate it, but I love self tapes. Yeah, because then you're, that pressure is off. You're like, oh no. You can do as many takes as you want, especially for on camera stuff. And there's also that anxiety of, if you don't get the auditions, like why am I not being asked to audition? That's the big thing. No one, for some reason you don't, you're not supposed to talk about it, but for me it's the biggest.

49:02
part of my anxiety is like, why am I not being talked about or considered? I guess because you don't wanna project that you're not castable or thought of, but that's the big part of acting is like, why haven't I been considered for this? And you never know why. It's like being ghosted every day. Yeah, people just never know. And...

49:29
You know, when you thought that day went well, why did they not call back? Yeah. Or it's like when you, you, and I do this all the time and it's, it's a character flaw, I suppose. But I'll watch something and I was like, I could have done that better. Why, why didn't I get the call for that? Everyone does that. If you're an actor, you do that. And sometimes it keeps me from watching things. Yeah. It's like, why didn't I get a call for that? Why didn't I, you know, I could, you know, I could have done that. I, you know, and it's like,

49:57
you still want to be happy for the person that did get cast. Whether you know them or not, but it's like, yeah, why didn't, why wasn't I in the room? It's the double sting because you, why wasn't I considered for that? And then the other sting of I'm a horrible person because I'm thinking this, you know, so it's like,

50:17
Boom, boom, double whammy, bad feelings. I was self-loathing. But I need to be happy for the person that did get something because I know it's hard and I know they had the same feelings that I did, but yeah. It's so hard. You think, and because we're not supposed to be talking about it, it breeds this fact that, this feeling like we're the only ones this is happening to. When in fact, it's happening to everybody. Yeah. We're like, we're the only ones that aren't getting called or, you know.

50:45
Especially during the pandemic, you're like, am I ever gonna work again? That was really scary. And now that we're coming out of it is going back to the regular why am I not being called. Right. Well, you know, is the Is it because I'm a big guy? Is it, you know, you know the you know, I I understand my body type and I understand there are certain roles that I will be cast. I will never be a leading man I will be the friend of the neighbor the

51:14
shopkeep, whatever, you know, but it's, it's not that those aren't the roles that I necessarily always want to. And I do feel like at least seems like there's some change in casting coming out of the pandemic as far as like body casting and body shape. I'd call it body shaming, but you know, there's some of that in the casting world. Oh my gosh, totally. Absolutely. And

51:45
I'm trying I'm still to this day trying to shake off these the the I'm trying to use the word fat it's not a bad negative thing, yeah and Just trying to be like it's the same as I have brown hair, you know, I'm fat. That's who I am It's not bad. It's just describes who I am But at the same time I was on a vacation and with my my little my nieces and nephews. We decided to watch cats Okay, and

52:15
Um, but, and we watched the stage play version, thank goodness. Um, but because I think they're a little interested in what aunt Ali does for a living, they're like, how does this work? So we watched cats. And so that was the first one I went to, but you know, sure. The Bustopher Jones thing comes out and my four-year-old nephew goes, you could play that party at Ali and taps my stomach twice. Like.

52:44
trying to be funny. And the first thing I wanted to do was strike the child as a teacher. I wouldn't. But I know exactly what you mean by that. I was being fat shamed by a toddler. But, you know, I really was struggling because, you know, this is what I wanna do to casting people. I do wanna be, you know, why can't I be considered it for Bustopher Jones? It's not a bad thing that I'm fat.

53:14
Right. That's great. Even though, but why did the first thing I wanted to do was go into the bathroom and cry? Because my little four year old nephew called me fat. And I'm like, but that's what you are. It's not bad. You're just conditioned to think it's bad. Yeah. It's a struggle. Yeah. It's a real struggle. Yeah. And I think the, and I've said this before in previous episodes. I mean, I use the term fat guy all the time. It's like, I'm a fat guy. That's who I am.

53:44
I was a fat kid. I'm a fat guy. You know, I think the more that you can name it and the more that you can become comfortable with the term, it's, it takes the power away from somebody else. And I think that's where the hurt comes is when you hear somebody else use it. And it's like, well, that hurts because you used it. But if I use it first, it can't hurt me. You know, it's awesome.

54:10
thing we've learned about being funny too. As kids you learn to laugh at yourself before you can laugh at other people, but not because.

54:22
I mean, being fat is nothing to laugh about. It's just how people are. Yeah. And it's also the word fat and funny come hand in hand because fat people have learned to cope in this way, to fit in society this way. I've gotta be accepted somehow so I'll be funny. We've all learned it. Yeah. Most of us fat people have learned it. Yeah. And I'm not saying it's a bad thing,

54:52
It's just kind of something that goes hand in hand. Yeah. Yeah. It becomes that kind of shield and also that kind of weapon to keep you from being hurt. Right. The cause of it. Right. Yeah. And it's your intro into being accepted. You know? It's so interesting. It's so interesting. And something I find every day.

55:20
but you know, self-image, especially as an actor, they're like, oh, actors love themselves. And you're like, you're not around the actors that I know. Oh my goodness. It's a special, we're a special group that either loves ourselves or hates ourselves. But I'm trying to learn to lean towards the love part. Yeah, in a healthy way.

55:52
All right, Allison, this is the third segment of the show. It's time now for the Fast Five. Fast Five is down now for the Fast Five. Fast Five. Sorry, I don't have a theme song. I'm still workshopping some things out. Oh, oh yeah. Yeah.

56:09
Fast Five is powered by Poddex. It's an app by Travis Brow. You can download that on your favorite mobile communication device store. Also, they have physical decks that are available. They're great. The app was created for podcasters, so you always have something to say during interviews and questions and stuff like that.

56:28
They're great icebreakers as well. So if you're- Or if you have social anxiety. Exactly. You're at that party with five people, pull out one of these pod decks cards. Bring those with you. That's a good question. As a matter of fact, if you go to chewinthefatbr.com slash pod decks and use the promo code chew, you can get 10% off your physical decks. But what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna hit the randomizer here and it's the first thing comes to the top of your head, no wrong answers and- There's a Rorschachy here. Let's do it. Let's do it.

56:57
Don't think about death, don't think about death. Okay. What are you superstitious about? Oh gosh. After every audition, I throw away the sides. Okay. So for some reason, cause I don't want to jinx myself into saying, I'm going to get a callback, so I need to hold onto these. For some reason, I think that fate's going to come back and bite me in the ass. So I'm like.

57:26
Threaten them away, tried not to clear my brain and not to think about it. So I'm superstitious about that. I'm very much a, you know, oh, you went on audition, how's it going? It's like, I don't know, I don't care. If they call back, they call back. Otherwise you just, you know, you hang on to that and you get disappointed. So if I forget about that I even auditioned. And down the spiral you go. Exactly, so I love the throw the sides away thing because you know what, if you get the call back, they'll have other ones, you know.

57:54
print them out. Yeah. Exactly. I love that. All right. Question two. Sorry, Q. Question two.

58:05
What do you think is more important in a song, the melody or the lyrics? The lyrics. Yeah. As a writer, um, like I said, I tried to be an English lit major for a while. Um, and as an actor first, I think I'm an actor before I'm a singer, the way something is interpreted, um, acted is more important to me than how well it's sung. So coming from that perspective, I think the lyrics. Yeah.

58:35
All right, number three.

58:39
What will we find if we look in the bottom of your closet today?

58:46
A ventriloquist dummy. My boyfriend is a clown and he does these weird vaudevillian projects every once in a while. And one time he had to have a dummy and he left it here and I can't look at it. So I put it lovingly.

59:14
lovingly with respect into my closet and close the door and try not to think about it. Yeah, I was gonna say did you turn it around? So it's facing the back wall because I would hate to look in and like the eyes are looking at a series of bags Oh, okay, even better. It's a series of bags. Not just one It's got to really work to get out of there

59:44
Number four.

59:48
If someone made a movie about your life, who would play you? Oh my God, probably somebody really depressing. Oh. No, someone that you're like, her? No. Who do I want it to be? Like Miss Piggy or somebody. That would be awesome. I'm not as, no, honestly, I'm not as confident as Miss Piggy, although I wanna be. I'd probably say maybe like Fozzie or Gonzo.

01:00:18
Okay. That would be, that would be amazing to have a Muppet life story of your life. It would be amazing, right? That would be so good. Muppet documentary. I don't know if it'd be good, but it would be apt. No, I'm just saying like a Muppet documentary, you know, I, they've done other things. I would, I would love to, someone make that happen. Yes, please. Jim Henson Studios, please make some sort of. I'm going to get a life that's interesting enough to be done by the Muppets. I'll get to work. There you go.

01:00:48
All right. And number five.

01:00:54
Do you have any pre-show rituals or routines? Makeup is a very big ritual for me, especially since like Madam T had pretty lengthy makeup. Um, pre-show I like to get there, um, maybe an hour before just to have the first half hour to adjust and stretch if I have to, if I'm doing a really physical thing, and then the second half hour.

01:01:23
is the, I love the ritual of getting ready and something I really miss. And if I see it in movies or something, it actually like makes me a little teary. The ritual of setting your makeup kit out, prepping your face, getting in the wig prep, drinking your tea, playing, I have a certain, I'll make a playlist that's like something the character puts me in the character movement.

01:01:53
mood set. And I just love that ritual of getting ready. It's almost, it's almost religious. It's really, it's so special to me. Yeah. How lucky are we that we get to do stuff like that? That's amazing. Absolutely. Yeah, I love that. My favorite thing to do is to most of my stuff is theater based. So just walking the stage, you know,

01:02:20
You know, just to walk the boards and, you know, and to stretch and to just to be, to feel the environment. That's in street clothes before I even get to the dressing room or whatever. Just to, again, to be so thankful to be there, to be able to be in that environment. I'm getting, I'm welling up. Breathe it in. The next time I get on stage, probably the first,

01:02:49
couple months, hopefully if the run lasts that long, will just be me weeping at the beginning of getting into the theater just because it's such a lucky. Yeah. We're so lucky. Absolutely. Yeah. Ooh. Ooh, sorry. What did you do? I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm sorry. Allison, that is our Fast Five. And that's the show. Thank you so much for being here with me today. Thank you.

01:03:15
Gosh, this is such a pleasure. Thank you so much. Oh, it was, it was a dream come true to have a chance to talk to you. Uh, and I wish you nothing but the best and all of your future endeavors. I will be right there following along. Um, if folks want to follow along with me and following you, where can they find you? Um, mainly on Instagram. That's where I keep most of my non-families Facebook, mostly for my family, Instagram for, for,

01:03:44
people who care to follow is at allison, A-L-L-I-S-O-N dot Guinn, G-U-I-N-N. That's where I keep most of the, I'm trying to get with the TikToks. Like the kids do. But like, I'm so old. This is when my old school comes in. I am at Guinn Allison there. Okay.

01:04:14
And there's like two there you can see but I'm working on it. That's okay. Working on it. Yeah. And of course if you want to find these links and more, we'll have them in the show notes and you can find them at the website, chewingthefatbr.com. Thank you again, Allison, for being here. Thank you. I truly mean it. I wish you nothing but the best in everything. You too. And you know, I can't wait for the next performance of the legacy of Daisy Dean.

01:04:44
and folks again if you've not watched the latest season of the Marvelous Ms. Maisel please check that out on Amazon Prime. I almost said Allison Prime that'd be cool. Allison Prime. Allison Prime on Amazon Prime video and if you would like to support this podcast please consider buying me a coffee at ChewingTheFatBR.com I thank you again for being here and listening and I look forward to the next chance we have to sit a spell and chew the fat.