Movie Mailbag Monday: My Five Worst Movies Ever

1 00:00:00,850 --> 00:00:03,100 Cinema Vino is brought to you by audible. 2 00:00:03,430 --> 00:00:07,060 Do you wanna take a deeper dive into what you love? I'm a Beatles fanatic, 3 00:00:07,060 --> 00:00:10,300 and I love to hear Alfred Molina read Bob spits biography about the world's 4 00:00:10,460 --> 00:00:13,340 greatest rock band spits is writing his crisp and easy to follow. 5 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:16,700 And his exhaustive research puts you in the room for key moments in beetle 6 00:00:16,700 --> 00:00:17,533 history. 7 00:00:18,450 --> 00:00:21,260 Todd, have you ever heard of a book series called dune? 8 00:00:21,260 --> 00:00:22,140 I've heard vaguely. 9 00:00:22,140 --> 00:00:23,540 Do you know how many sequels there. 10 00:00:23,540 --> 00:00:25,980 Are? 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Life takes you. 18 00:00:42,410 --> 00:00:46,340 Sign up for a free 30 day trial to experience all the perks of membership. 19 00:00:46,340 --> 00:00:48,540 Plus receive a free title just for signing up. 20 00:00:48,780 --> 00:00:53,060 Visit audible trial.com/syno to get your free 30 day trial. 21 00:00:53,170 --> 00:00:55,940 That's audible trial.com/syno. 22 00:01:14,590 --> 00:01:15,423 Back. 23 00:01:18,340 --> 00:01:21,160 And welcome back to cinema meno. 24 00:01:21,470 --> 00:01:24,720 It's gonna be a solo mail bag Monday. Um, 25 00:01:25,810 --> 00:01:29,480 so it's, there's gonna be you and me again, which is kind of fun. Uh, 26 00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:34,080 be sure in tune in, uh, Wednesday, we're gonna do point break, um, 27 00:01:34,340 --> 00:01:37,960 for my pick for our dealer's choice series gonna be that's really good, uh, 28 00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:39,720 podcast. Good, uh, funny stuff in there. 29 00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:43,400 We got pretty activated recording that one and the over the top podcast. 30 00:01:43,530 --> 00:01:45,760 If you haven't heard over the top, you need to hear that one too. 31 00:01:46,220 --> 00:01:48,800 And then next Wednesday, we're gonna do, uh, 32 00:01:48,830 --> 00:01:52,400 a movie that Travis has been trying to get us to watch for years, 33 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:55,840 if not decades mean guns, starring IST. 34 00:01:55,930 --> 00:01:58,440 It has the look of being pretty damn terrible. 35 00:01:58,490 --> 00:02:01,800 So the bad movies tend to bring out some pretty funny episodes. 36 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:05,680 So you'll wanna check that one out too. And then after that it will begin our, 37 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:09,680 uh, famous, uh, Halloween series. We're gonna do some really good horror movies. 38 00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:13,040 We're actually gonna draw from a pretty good pool of movies, uh, 39 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:16,280 during the mean guns podcast. So we'll get that scheduled lined out. 40 00:02:16,310 --> 00:02:20,720 Definitely don't wanna miss any of that stuff. Um, and yeah, 41 00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:22,040 movie mail movie mailbag Monday, 42 00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:25,840 it's like definitely wanna send those questions to, uh, on Instagram. Uh, 43 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:27,960 you can message us at cinema Aino podcast, 44 00:02:28,330 --> 00:02:33,080 or you can email us@cinemaainopodcast.com. Um, 45 00:02:33,310 --> 00:02:34,600 this, uh, 46 00:02:34,670 --> 00:02:38,520 user JL brown seven seven asks, 47 00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:43,360 what are the worst movies that you have reviewed for your site? 48 00:02:43,780 --> 00:02:45,520 And that's actually a very good question. 49 00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:48,480 I had to do some soul searching to figure that out. Um, 50 00:02:48,650 --> 00:02:51,400 so if you go to my website, Todd movies.com, 51 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:56,200 I've got probably right around 600 reviews of movies and 52 00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:58,560 that's mainly near movies, but you can find the, you know, 53 00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:01,040 the classic stuff on there too. And there's some bad movies. 54 00:03:01,190 --> 00:03:05,720 I review everything that we've podcasted. So whenever there's a, uh, 55 00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:08,240 a new episode that drops on Wednesdays, 56 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:12,240 you can go to top offer movies.com and I will have my review also, 57 00:03:12,930 --> 00:03:17,600 so you can read my more full opinion on there. Um, 58 00:03:18,530 --> 00:03:22,080 so yeah, the worst films that I have reviewed, there's been some bad ones. 59 00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:25,480 There've been some, a lot of great movies. There have been some horrific movies. 60 00:03:26,060 --> 00:03:30,840 And so I'm gonna give you my bottom five out of those 600. Um, 61 00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:35,520 and I actually had to rank them in order kind of based on my feeling, 62 00:03:35,910 --> 00:03:38,400 have how I remember like walking out of the theater. 63 00:03:39,020 --> 00:03:43,240 And I believe all five of these I did see in the theaters back before COVID, 64 00:03:44,530 --> 00:03:47,640 um, number five is a movie called playing with fire. 65 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:52,080 Starting John Cena plays a smoke jumper. This is like a movie know those movies. 66 00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:55,640 That's so cliche that built it out of a kit. He is a tough guy, 67 00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:59,960 muscle bound smoke jumper who gets three, uh, 68 00:03:59,960 --> 00:04:04,120 basically foster kids, three orphans show up at his smoke jumping fire station. 69 00:04:04,260 --> 00:04:06,960 And he has to take care of 'em for like the weekend. 70 00:04:07,070 --> 00:04:10,360 It's another movie that treats kids like they're aliens who landed from outer 71 00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:11,680 space. Um, 72 00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:15,840 definitely has a scene where John Cena changes a poopy diaper in a hazmat suit. 73 00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:20,840 So it is just idiotic of the highest degree. Worst of all, 74 00:04:20,840 --> 00:04:25,200 it was Judy Greer. Who's a very talented actress. Um, and you know, 75 00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:27,720 she's been stuck for a long time. If you Google Judy Greer right now, 76 00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:29,520 you'll recognize her from a million different movies. 77 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:31,840 She usually gets stuck playing the best friend character. 78 00:04:32,170 --> 00:04:34,040 He or she actually gets to play the love interest, 79 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:37,200 but the character it's like the only smart character in the entire movie. 80 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:42,120 She's like an Oasis of intelligence in a, you know, desert of stupidity. 81 00:04:42,690 --> 00:04:44,600 So that is definitely, uh, 82 00:04:44,670 --> 00:04:47,560 a horrible movie that I couldn't wait for it to be over. 83 00:04:47,670 --> 00:04:52,200 That's playing with fire. Uh, John Cena, number four is a movie called Jackson. 84 00:04:53,450 --> 00:04:56,040 Uh, Adam divine, who again, you, him, if you, 85 00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:58,680 if you don't recognize the name he's been in tons of stuff like pitch perfect. 86 00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:01,760 He was in modern family. Uh, he's been in a lot of different things. 87 00:05:02,410 --> 00:05:07,080 He plays an obnoxious, uh, young man who gets a new smartphone, 88 00:05:07,930 --> 00:05:10,000 uh, and makes the joke that, you know, 89 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:12,440 young people are glued to their smartphones glued to their screens. 90 00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:15,440 And so that's, you know, a joke that's popped up. It's a trope by this point. 91 00:05:15,970 --> 00:05:16,680 He, uh, 92 00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:21,280 his new phone has an Alexa slash series style assistant named Jackson, 93 00:05:21,970 --> 00:05:24,800 uh, voiced by rose burn. Uh, 94 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:28,400 unfortunately rose Burn's an another talented actress who, you know, 95 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:31,280 often gets wasted in movies, um, 96 00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:35,400 and J proceeds to ruin this guy's life. 97 00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:38,560 She takes over his life kind of fatal attraction, Glen close style. 98 00:05:38,700 --> 00:05:42,760 She turns out to be clingy and crazy and yada yada, 99 00:05:43,180 --> 00:05:47,320 and I will say that there's a good, good idea. Buried in here. There's a good, 100 00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:50,840 there, there could be a funny movie that was made up of this. Um, 101 00:05:51,180 --> 00:05:56,120 but it is absolutely just painfully and funny painfully obvious. And it's like, 102 00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:58,880 I, I will spoil the movies. Uh, 103 00:05:59,070 --> 00:06:01,440 what will probably in its mind is the funniest scene. 104 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:04,000 I'm just gonna ruin it for you right now. Uh, 105 00:06:04,190 --> 00:06:08,800 Adam Devine has sex with his phone on screen moans and everything. 106 00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:11,240 So that's what you're dealing with. 107 00:06:11,490 --> 00:06:15,600 So consider yourself warned if this ever pops up and you can stream it, 108 00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:16,880 or if it pops up on TV, 109 00:06:17,150 --> 00:06:20,000 I don't say that I didn't try to caution you away from it. 110 00:06:20,410 --> 00:06:24,840 So that's number four, J number three is serenity. 111 00:06:24,910 --> 00:06:28,120 This was probably when I started to review movies in 2018. 112 00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:32,360 This is probably the first, truly horrendous movie that I came across. 113 00:06:33,250 --> 00:06:35,920 Um, in the theaters. I remember I pulled out my phone. 114 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:39,280 I was alone in the theater. I pulled out my phone and texted my wife. 115 00:06:39,390 --> 00:06:43,600 I don't know what the hell I am watching. It's like watching the YouTube video, 116 00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:47,120 where the lady tries to pull out of the Sonic drive through and she ends up like 117 00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:51,240 running into two different, like poles with her car at the same time. 118 00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:53,520 She just about totals her car, YouTube, that, 119 00:06:53,620 --> 00:06:57,480 and that you'll get an idea of how bad this movie is. So the plot of this movie, 120 00:06:57,480 --> 00:07:01,880 basically Matthew McConaughy is a charter boat captain, uh, some Caribbean, 121 00:07:02,060 --> 00:07:05,000 you know, island somewhere. And, uh, 122 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:09,560 Anne Hathaway approaches him with the idea that her husband is going to, 123 00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:10,000 you know, 124 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:14,560 charter this sailboat and she wants Matthew McConahey to kill her husband. 125 00:07:15,580 --> 00:07:20,120 And so BA it's your basic film more plot? Um, I mean, 126 00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:22,760 and at this point it's already pretty cliche, pretty clunky, 127 00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:27,760 but the main thing is that the movie cooks up a terrible plot. 128 00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:31,440 Twist it. It might be the stupidest plot TWI, no I'm gonna take that back. 129 00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:34,680 It is the stupidest plot twist I've seen in the movie ever. 130 00:07:34,980 --> 00:07:37,040 And I've seen thousands and thousands of movies. 131 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:41,080 This is the dumbest plot twist I have ever seen. Um, 132 00:07:41,570 --> 00:07:44,200 so I mean, it, it's just amazing. I was laughing out loud. 133 00:07:44,900 --> 00:07:47,400 The worst thing about this movie, is it unlike, 134 00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:51,480 probably more so than any other movie on this list? It ruins a talented cast, 135 00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:54,520 mean Matthew con Hay's won an Oscar and Hathaway's won an Oscar. 136 00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:56,760 Diane Lane is in this movie. Diane, 137 00:07:56,760 --> 00:07:58,960 land's been nominated for an officer giant hunts. 138 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:01,840 Who's been nominated for an Oscar wastes. All of these people. 139 00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:05,360 It is amazing how bad this movie is. So again, 140 00:08:05,650 --> 00:08:08,840 if this shows up anywhere where you can watch it, you have been warned. 141 00:08:09,310 --> 00:08:13,640 Serenity is number three, uh, cats, number two. 142 00:08:14,770 --> 00:08:16,560 Um, this is Andrew Lord. 143 00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:21,360 Weber's beloved musical mid on Broadway for a million years. Um, 144 00:08:21,780 --> 00:08:25,920 and if this movie doesn't ruin the legacy of that musical, nothing will, 145 00:08:26,730 --> 00:08:29,680 um, and it mainly stems from one mistake. 146 00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:32,360 One mistake actually elevates every other flaw of the movie. 147 00:08:32,590 --> 00:08:36,560 They CGI an all star cast into their cat form, 148 00:08:36,820 --> 00:08:39,840 and it is the creepiest nightmare fuel. 149 00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:44,360 You could imagine it was just amazingly wrongheaded and probably very 150 00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:48,960 expensive decision to do it this way. And you can't unsee it once it starts. 151 00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:53,440 You can't get it outta your brain, how horrible it looks. So, um, 152 00:08:53,860 --> 00:08:55,000 and yeah, full disclosure. 153 00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:59,120 That's the one movie in my life that I've walked out of. I was with my wife. 154 00:08:59,260 --> 00:09:03,880 She was, uh, dang near 40 weeks pregnant. And, uh, 155 00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:06,040 she decided it was time to go. She was outraged. 156 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:09,520 So we left with about 10 minutes left. I was able to, uh, 157 00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:13,840 find the movie for God, knows why I finish it later. But, 158 00:09:14,250 --> 00:09:18,960 um, that tells you how bad it is. It was, it was torture. Um, 159 00:09:18,970 --> 00:09:19,520 so yeah, 160 00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:23,440 cat and then really these last three serenity and cats and the next one are all 161 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:26,720 strong contenders for the gold medal in this horrible contest. 162 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:30,320 These movies are all atrocious. Um, 163 00:09:31,140 --> 00:09:36,000 the worst movie that I have reviewed for this website 164 00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:40,160 is a movie called Holmes and Watson starring will Ferrell John C. Riley. 165 00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:43,400 That's one of the worst movies I've seen, period. And again, 166 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:47,560 I'm well into the thousand probably well into the tens of thousands of movies 167 00:09:47,560 --> 00:09:52,000 I've seen. That is the worst movie that I have believe I've ever seen, uh, 168 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:55,800 will Ferrell as the title suggests plays Sherlock Holmes, 169 00:09:55,950 --> 00:09:59,120 John C. Riley plays Dr. Watson. And again, in theory, 170 00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:01,960 there's a funny movie buried in there somewhere. They could have done it. 171 00:10:02,140 --> 00:10:06,600 You know, I mean, I've, you know, stepbrothers, I've seen Ricky, Bobby. I mean, 172 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:07,480 they could do it. 173 00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:10,080 They've made funny movies and they could have made a funny movie out of this 174 00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:14,800 one, but it is miserably unfunny. It is painful. 175 00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:20,080 It is, it is poorly made enough that it is disrespectful to the audience. 176 00:10:20,530 --> 00:10:24,920 It is an insult to people sitting in the theater that paid hard earned money to 177 00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:29,280 see this movie that anybody thought that anybody would be entertained by 178 00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:34,440 anything on screen. It is rough. Uh, this is a low point for will. 179 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:38,120 Ferrell's at low point for John C. Riley. It's a low point for movies. 180 00:10:38,560 --> 00:10:39,640 this is, 181 00:10:40,070 --> 00:10:44,840 I believe the only zero star movie that I've done out of 600. 182 00:10:45,290 --> 00:10:48,760 It was nothing. It was worth nothing. Literally. 183 00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:50,960 Every other thing on this list got at least a half star. 184 00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:53,960 I gave surrounded a half a star, gave it one out of 10. 185 00:10:54,630 --> 00:10:59,600 This one was a zero. This one was the bottom of the pit. Um, 186 00:11:00,420 --> 00:11:03,960 but yeah, those are the bottom five movies. And there, 187 00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:07,520 there were quite a few other contenders on that list. Um, 188 00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:12,240 but those are the ones that really stuck out in my mind. Um, 189 00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:17,360 but anyway, um, this has been a movie bag Monday, 190 00:11:17,950 --> 00:11:21,920 I believe next week, we're gonna start a feature doing a wine of the week. 191 00:11:23,050 --> 00:11:23,400 Um, 192 00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:26,120 basically something new you may not have heard of before to be something good 193 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:29,800 and interesting to try if you're into wine and you're looking for something to, 194 00:11:29,850 --> 00:11:34,720 to drink while you're streaming your movies, we will feature a new wine, uh, 195 00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:39,360 every week. But so that's something to look forward to next time. Um, 196 00:11:39,660 --> 00:11:44,280 but yeah, this has been another episode and my name is Todd Walford. Um, 197 00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:49,040 my website for reviews is Todd wafer movies.com and our, uh, 198 00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:51,240 podcast website is@syno.net. 199 00:11:51,290 --> 00:11:55,680 We sure and check both of those out and yeah, get those, uh, questions, 200 00:11:55,990 --> 00:12:00,080 Toto podcast, gmail.com. And we will be sure to answer those, 201 00:12:00,540 --> 00:12:03,320 but we will see you guys next time and thank you very much.