Faith, Family, and Fostering with Shawn Melis

Rich Bennett 0:00
So Wendy and I have a young gentleman on. We I met him, recorded an episode for the Chamber podcast and told him, right. He's like, man, you got to come on and tell your story because his well, he's going to get into it. But his story's pretty amazing. And what he's doing now is pretty amazing. So I have Shawn Mills on who make sure I get it right owns 

to. 

Wendy Beck 0:30
Little Caesar. 

Shawn Melis 0:32
A pizza. 

Rich Bennett 0:33
So it is kind of the come on. 

Wendy Beck 0:35
Oh, that's the that's like their tag. 

Rich Bennett 0:37
I know I keep calling them pizza pizzas. They do. Look, you know, that's a good tagline when somebody confuses the name of your store for pizza. Pizza? 

Shawn Melis 0:47
That's right. 

Wendy Beck 0:47
Right. 

Rich Bennett 0:48
Holy cow. Little Caesars, 

Shawn Melis 0:51
Little Caesars for sale in Aberdeen. 

Rich Bennett 0:54
huh? 

Shawn Melis 0:54
For sale in Aberdeen. 

Rich Bennett 0:55
Far so in Aberdeen. Okay. All right. So before we get into the little Caesar bit, tell us a little bit about yourself, what you were doing before, before the. 

Shawn Melis 1:03
Yeah, man, I. Easy journey. And 

Rich Bennett 1:06
And 

Shawn Melis 1:07
you 

Rich Bennett 1:07
you 

Shawn Melis 1:07
said 

Rich Bennett 1:07
said 

Shawn Melis 1:07
it's my story and it's not really my sword's God story. 

Rich Bennett 1:09
Mm hmm. 

Shawn Melis 1:09
I think God has used my wife and I and in a phenomenal way. And it kind of goes back to when we live in California. We were in California before we moved to Maryland and we started fostering and we fostered 12 kids over eight years. And it was an incredible experience. And a lot of it was just a lack of faith for me. I did not want to do it up front. 

Rich Bennett 1:30
Right. 

Shawn Melis 1:31
I was. I was. 

Rich Bennett 1:32
I wouldn't say resist. 

Shawn Melis 1:32
Resisting it. But I was like, I wanted to put the brakes on. My wife was like, Let's go. Let's go in. Let's let's just foster as many kids as possible as quickly as possible. And I was like, hold on. We start with one. And my my our daughter was six months old, and we took our first kid, our first foster kid. And I just my heart just exploded. I just I began to feel the love of God through me for these kids like nothing I could ever explain. And so one turned into two, turned into three. And we had six kids. It was. 

Rich Bennett 2:04
Wow. At one time. 

Shawn Melis 2:06
One time. Yeah. So we had six kids almost for about eight years. Five foster care. Five and foster care. 

Rich Bennett 2:11
Wow. 

Shawn Melis 2:14
We ended up adopting a couple of them and then we went to China and we adopted from China. While we had some longer cases. So the first one we took was was eight months and are eight years in foster care. And it was heartbreaking. It was heart wrenching for both of us as well as her that it just kind of got getting dragged out. And then we've had some other cases where we'd have a child for a week and they got reunified. And those are those are the good stories where they get redefined with family. 

Rich Bennett 2:42
How hard is that, though, if you're if you're fostering a child And you. Hatched, then all of a sudden. 

Shawn Melis 2:48
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 2:49
Yeah, they're going off to another. 

Shawn Melis 2:50
Yeah. And, you know, we get that question a lot. And and for us, it's like, yeah, they take a part of your heart with you, with with them, but they always have a part of their heart behind. And so our hearts always fall like we never have a heart that's diminished or lacking because part of that kid's heart stayed with us. 

Rich Bennett 3:07
So. 

Shawn Melis 3:08
We have memories. We have a wall in our dining room devoted to all the kids that have been in our home as part of our forever family. And so it's just a way of us remembering, Oh, yeah, that's Roselle. And that's Angelina. And this one is Howard. And this one is, uh, uh, 

a clavel and etc., etc.. Like, it just it's a way of just recalling, remembering and and just telling the stories of all these kids to like friends that come over our family that come over and just share that, who've shared the journey with us, because it's a journey and it takes a village. 

Wendy Beck 3:38
Powerful. 

Shawn Melis 3:39
It takes a church. It takes a bigger family than us. 

Rich Bennett 3:44
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 3:45
Right. 

Rich Bennett 3:46
Good friend of mine, um, grow well. Growing up, her and her son, we were like, best friends, and she's fostered. 

Shawn Melis 3:53
Hmm. Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 3:54
And I think she ended up adopting to them. 

Shawn Melis 3:58
For sure. 

Rich Bennett 3:59
It's some of the ones that she didn't adopt. Still stay in touch, 

Shawn Melis 4:03
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 4:03
which is the amazing thing. Yeah. 

Shawn Melis 4:07
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 4:07
And. 

Course, you know, some of them call me Uncle Ritchie's like, okay, come on, you're not that much younger than me. I mean, it just doesn't. 

Shawn Melis 4:16
But to leave an indelible mark on those kids lives so that they they. 

Rich Bennett 4:20
They are the ones who want 

Shawn Melis 4:20
Want 

Rich Bennett 4:21
to 

Shawn Melis 4:21
to maintain 

Rich Bennett 4:21
maintain. 

Shawn Melis 4:21
a relationship with the foster parent, 

Rich Bennett 4:23
There 

Shawn Melis 4:23
isn't 

Rich Bennett 4:23
is an 

Shawn Melis 4:23
it? 

Rich Bennett 4:23
incredible story. 

Shawn Melis 4:25
And that's kind of what we've done a little bit recently. We've been able to host exchange students. So we've we've 

Rich Bennett 4:31
Posted. 

Shawn Melis 4:31
had. High school students from Chile, China, Sierra Leone. Over last two years. We were kind of in a similar situation right now with a couple teenagers that are just we just opened our house up to a couple of teenagers that 

Rich Bennett 4:47
Right. 

Shawn Melis 4:48
just needed a place to stay for a couple of months. And and that's been just a huge blessing as well. 

Rich Bennett 4:53
Has the exchange program work? Because I think when I was in school, I think the way it worked was basically I would have to be going to another. The exchange system and they would send somebody over. So basically I was staying with their family and vice versa. 

Shawn Melis 5:08
Yeah. So there might be situations like that basically with us. So there's organizations that facilitate foreign nationals 

Rich Bennett 5:15
Right. 

Shawn Melis 5:15
coming. See. It's underneath. 

Rich Bennett 5:17
Programs. 

Shawn Melis 5:18
So they're coming to the United States, and I'm assuming 

Rich Bennett 5:22
Yeah. 

Shawn Melis 5:22
that there's probably U.S. citizens that are going to other countries. But from our perspective, it's not like our daughter is going to Belgium or Germany or China. 

Rich Bennett 5:29
Right. 

Shawn Melis 5:30
And then we're getting somebody from there. 

Rich Bennett 5:31
Okay. 

Shawn Melis 5:32
It's, we work with an organization, um, purely 

Rich Bennett 5:34
You're. 

Shawn Melis 5:35
volunteer basis and we hope. 

Rich Bennett 5:37
Host. 

Shawn Melis 5:38
For either a semester or a full year. Those students, and they have an experience in our field. So they go on vacations with us, they go to Christmas with us, they do Thanksgiving with us, they do 4th of July with us. 

Rich Bennett 5:49
Wow. 

Shawn Melis 5:50
Like whatever, whatever we're doing, they're just part of our fam. 

Rich Bennett 5:52
Family. 

Wendy Beck 5:52
Right. 

Shawn Melis 5:53
And so we get we get to learn about Pakistani food and we get to learn about. Cultures and so like. 

Rich Bennett 5:58
When we had. 

Shawn Melis 6:00
Our girl from from Pakistan. We celebrated Pakistan. 

Rich Bennett 6:02
Extend the Independence Day. 

Shawn Melis 6:04
We've done that with. 

Rich Bennett 6:05
What we do 

Shawn Melis 6:05
Do celebrations around Sierra Leone or China. We do. Chinese 

Rich Bennett 6:09
is 

Shawn Melis 6:09
New 

Rich Bennett 6:09
New 

Shawn Melis 6:09
Year 

Rich Bennett 6:09
Year. 

Shawn Melis 6:10
and we will host some type of Chinese New Year gathering with our student. And they'll educate us and they'll encourage us to figure out, okay, how do we do this? The way you would have done it in China. 

Rich Bennett 6:21
Right. 

Shawn Melis 6:22
So it's been awesome. Experiences. 

Wendy Beck 6:24
How about like, the local. Like, have you. Have you fostered local kids? 

Shawn Melis 6:30
So because. 

Rich Bennett 6:30
Cause we have six kids. We can't. 

Shawn Melis 6:31
It actually. FOSTER Which is why we're working with other organizations. So we've also done Building Safe families, which I think I mentioned. Basically what that organization tries to do is. 

Rich Bennett 6:41
If 

Shawn Melis 6:41
Is intercept the at 

Rich Bennett 6:43
possible 

Shawn Melis 6:43
risk families before 

Rich Bennett 6:43
before 

Shawn Melis 6:44
foster care becomes necessary. They come in with family, coaches, monetary support, 

Rich Bennett 6:48
for transfer 

Shawn Melis 6:50
transportation, 

Rich Bennett 6:50
take. 

Shawn Melis 6:51
family coaches, just kind of like this wraparound service. Sure there. Hear that they. But it's meant to be temporary. It's meant to like help a parent get through surgery. Help a parent. Joblessness. Through a lack of transportation. And they come in and they say, okay, how can we support you? And so we've we've hosted 

Rich Bennett 7:11
kids 

Shawn Melis 7:11
kids before 

Rich Bennett 7:11
before. 

Shawn Melis 7:12
in our home. We've had at one point we had 12 kid. 

Rich Bennett 7:14
Kids are. 

Shawn Melis 7:15
Our kids as well as 

Rich Bennett 7:17
It's 

Shawn Melis 7:17
two 

Rich Bennett 7:17
worth 

Shawn Melis 7:17
or three 

Rich Bennett 7:17
three 

Shawn Melis 7:17
other. 

Rich Bennett 7:17
other families. Kids. 

Shawn Melis 7:19
Because what happens is when you're in a shelter and and you're helping 

Rich Bennett 7:24
Those families and 

Shawn Melis 7:24
and they're 

Rich Bennett 7:25
they're 

Shawn Melis 7:25
spending 

Rich Bennett 7:25
spending 

Shawn Melis 7:25
the. 

Rich Bennett 7:25
the night at your house. 

Shawn Melis 7:26
House, their friends in the shelter saying, Hey, can. 

Rich Bennett 7:28
Can we come to? 

Shawn Melis 7:29
I'd like. Absolutely. Come on and we'll. Anybody who wants. 

Wendy Beck 7:32
Do you have a big house? 

Rich Bennett 7:33
I was just going to say that better be a big house. 

Shawn Melis 7:36
We have a large floor and 

Rich Bennett 7:38
Okay. 

Shawn Melis 7:38
we have sleeping bags. We've got. Well, mattresses. We have got couches, a couple extra beds. So we. 

Rich Bennett 7:44
We make it work. 

Shawn Melis 7:45
Like for these kids, though, it's like they would rather spend the night on the floor in a sleeping bag or on a couch in our house and get a fresh cooked meal. Get 

Rich Bennett 7:53
Right. 

Shawn Melis 7:53
a fresh. I get the camaraderie of. To get the support. To watch a movie and have some popcorn. 

Wendy Beck 8:01
Yeah, it might be the only normalcy that they have. 

Rich Bennett 8:04
Exactly. 

Wendy Beck 8:04
Or have had in a long time. 

Shawn Melis 8:05
Absolutely. 

Rich Bennett 8:07
And you said you guys can't falster anymore. 

Shawn Melis 8:10
Yeah. So in the state of Maryland, if you have six. 

Rich Bennett 8:13
Oh. 

Shawn Melis 8:14
You cannot force. 

Unless there's a child that goes into foster care. That's where. 

Rich Bennett 8:21
Related to what you're just thinking. 

Wendy Beck 8:23
Gotcha. 

Shawn Melis 8:24
So they want to make sure that that there's enough. 

Wendy Beck 8:27
Parent. Yeah. 

Shawn Melis 8:29
Parental ability to to foster these kids and to care for them and to make sure that they've got the transportation 

Rich Bennett 8:35
Right. 

Shawn Melis 8:35
that. The difference 

Wendy Beck 8:37
Focus. 

Shawn Melis 8:38
We live in Baltimore City, but I. That kid might live in Harford County. There's not available family in Harford County is an. Drive into Harford County, take that 

Rich Bennett 8:45
Right. 

Shawn Melis 8:46
kid to school. Or we're trying to enroll them locally to try to. Services from being interrupted, 

Rich Bennett 8:51
Okay. 

Shawn Melis 8:51
but we might not neces we might have to drive 3040 minutes to get. 

Rich Bennett 8:55
That. 

Shawn Melis 8:55
School at their existing school to minimize the disruption in their life. 

Rich Bennett 9:00
Okay. 

Shawn Melis 9:01
And so they just want to make sure that there's there's enough in the room in the home. 

Rich Bennett 9:05
Yeah. 

Shawn Melis 9:05
A love. 

Wendy Beck 9:06
Yes, absolutely. 

Shawn Melis 9:07
So it's a healthy rule. 

Rich Bennett 9:09
You also, didn't you also. 

Do you do work with the York? 

Shawn Melis 9:17
Yeah. So I'm. 

Rich Bennett 9:18
Expanding my relationship with. 

Shawn Melis 9:19
But the arc, which is phenomenal. There's a great organization here in Norfolk County to bring in some of the. They're their constituents to come work in our stores. 

Rich Bennett 9:28
Okay. 

Shawn Melis 9:28
Yeah, they've got various programs, very workforce enforcement, workforce programs. So they've got like the 6 to 8 week programs where they've got. 

Rich Bennett 9:36
Coach. 

Shawn Melis 9:37
That oversees a lot of what they're doing in the store. And then they've got also full time while part time, but full time work 

Rich Bennett 9:42
Okay. 

Shawn Melis 9:43
where they're actually employed by local businesses. 

Rich Bennett 9:46
Okay so it wasn't anything through their false. 

Shawn Melis 9:48
No, 

Rich Bennett 9:49
Okay. 

Shawn Melis 9:50
no, 

Rich Bennett 9:50
Okay. 

Shawn Melis 9:50
no. 

Rich Bennett 9:50
Because when you had mentioned that before, because I know the archives, the foster program. 

Shawn Melis 9:55
Hmm. 

Rich Bennett 9:56
I think I mentioned Steve. 

Shawn Melis 9:57
Yep. Yep. 

Rich Bennett 9:59
And that's what I thought that you all you guys had fostered a kid or somebody from your. 

Shawn Melis 10:05
Now yet. 

Rich Bennett 10:06
Not. Not yet. 

Shawn Melis 10:09
Yeah. Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 10:10
So you have six now? How? 

Wendy Beck 10:13
And there you've adopted the German. 

Shawn Melis 10:15
We've adapted for. 

Wendy Beck 10:16
And then the other. 

Shawn Melis 10:16
We have two biological. 

Rich Bennett 10:18
Okay, So whose is the oldest? Yours when they're all yours? Or is it that biological or one of the foster? 

Shawn Melis 10:28
Yeah. So are two oldies are both. 

Rich Bennett 10:30
13. 

Shawn Melis 10:31
They're two weeks apart. 

Wendy Beck 10:32
Age range. 

Shawn Melis 10:33
Two 

Rich Bennett 10:33
Two 

Shawn Melis 10:33
weeks. 

Rich Bennett 10:33
weeks apart. 

Shawn Melis 10:35
Which is crazy. And so they've grown up as twins. But 

Rich Bennett 10:38
But 

Shawn Melis 10:39
the 

Rich Bennett 10:39
the opposite. 

Shawn Melis 10:39
oldest one is 

Rich Bennett 10:40
opposite. 

Shawn Melis 10:40
two weeks older than her younger sister. But 

Rich Bennett 10:43
Oh, 

Shawn Melis 10:43
we we 

Rich Bennett 10:44
but 

Shawn Melis 10:44
were. 

Rich Bennett 10:44
they had a good. 

Shawn Melis 10:45
We were playing. We were placed with her 

Rich Bennett 10:47
when 

Shawn Melis 10:47
when she 

Rich Bennett 10:48
she 

Shawn Melis 10:48
was 

Rich Bennett 10:48
was. 

Shawn Melis 10:48
six months old. So it's as if they grew up all they've grown up there. 

Rich Bennett 10:51
How. And he was the youngest now. 

Shawn Melis 10:54
The youngest is four, four and a half. Yeah, I just went into pre kindergarten. Yeah. It is a very busy household. Yeah. Yeah, but it's. It's so rich. I love. 

Rich Bennett 11:05
I 

Shawn Melis 11:05
I love 

Rich Bennett 11:05
love 

Shawn Melis 11:05
what we're doing right now to serve 

Rich Bennett 11:07
the. 

Shawn Melis 11:07
these kids because it's. I just. 

Rich Bennett 11:09
We have. 

Shawn Melis 11:11
God wants to just lavish 

Rich Bennett 11:13
Love on that. 

Shawn Melis 11:13
and he's 

Rich Bennett 11:13
Yeah, 

Shawn Melis 11:13
just using us. 

Rich Bennett 11:14
to do that. But you started doing that when you were here in Maryland, right? 

Shawn Melis 11:17
No certain California. 

Rich Bennett 11:18
You did start in California. 

Shawn Melis 11:19
Yeah, we started doing California, and 

Rich Bennett 11:20
That's 

Shawn Melis 11:20
that's where 

Rich Bennett 11:21
where. 

Shawn Melis 11:21
our family kind of got falling. 

Rich Bennett 11:23
That's when 

Shawn Melis 11:23
We 

Rich Bennett 11:23
we 

Shawn Melis 11:23
had 

Rich Bennett 11:23
had. 

Shawn Melis 11:23
five of five kids. We had. 

Wendy Beck 11:25
Then they. 

Shawn Melis 11:26
Biological. Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 11:27
Okay. 

Rich Bennett 11:28
13, 13, ten, ten. 

Shawn Melis 11:30
I'm sorry. 1110. Because one. 

Rich Bennett 11:33
Of time. 

So why, Marilyn? 

Shawn Melis 11:37
You know, that's a great question. We had started foreign language immersion in California. So our two oldest. 

Rich Bennett 11:44
In Spanish. 

Shawn Melis 11:45
Full immersion and the city where we lived had a Chinese immersion. But closed the. 

Rich Bennett 11:51
This semester before our. 

Shawn Melis 11:53
Our son was going to 

Rich Bennett 11:54
These. 

Shawn Melis 11:54
Old enough to be enrolled. The next closest Chinese program was 2 hours away, which in LA is about 30 miles. 

Rich Bennett 12:04
Yeah. 

Shawn Melis 12:05
But 2 hours each way to. 

Rich Bennett 12:07
Yeah. 

Shawn Melis 12:07
Because you got to drop off, Come home, pick. 

Rich Bennett 12:10
Right. 

Shawn Melis 12:10
Come home and we're just like, that's not feasible. And the cost of living now. 

Rich Bennett 12:13
LA. 

Shawn Melis 12:14
In California, technology has gotten so extreme. So Marilyn was really one of those few cities that has both. And they have it at the same school. 

Wendy Beck 12:23
And what was the attraction for that, that those two languages for you? 

Shawn Melis 12:27
Sure. So I think I think 

Rich Bennett 12:28
Expand. 

Shawn Melis 12:28
Spanish 

Rich Bennett 12:28
It's just. 

Shawn Melis 12:28
just because, um, between English and Spanish for, you know, those two languages you can speak to most people. World. And then Chinese. Chinese is just the opposite. Right? If you if you know English 

Rich Bennett 12:37
English 

Shawn Melis 12:37
and 

Rich Bennett 12:37
and 

Shawn Melis 12:38
China. 

Rich Bennett 12:38
Chinese. 

Shawn Melis 12:39
Right. There's half. 

Rich Bennett 12:40
Population. 

Shawn Melis 12:41
It's crazy Chinese. China's got 1.7 1.8 billion people. So it's pretty remarkable if you can speak either. 

Rich Bennett 12:49
Spanish. 

Wendy Beck 12:50
You can communicate with. 

Rich Bennett 12:51
You. 

Shawn Melis 12:51
You can communicate with almost anybody in the world as well as think of all the job opportunities when you're in high school. If my kids don't go to college. 

Rich Bennett 12:59
It's like. 

Shawn Melis 13:00
They're bilingual. They'll always be able get a job. They'll always have an opportunity. To be able to use the. 

Rich Bennett 13:07
Language skills. 

Shawn Melis 13:09
Wherever they go. I 

Rich Bennett 13:11
I know 

Shawn Melis 13:11
know. 

Rich Bennett 13:11
Santa Claus is. Speak more than one language. Make good money. 

Shawn Melis 13:15
Right. 

Rich Bennett 13:16
They do. 

Shawn Melis 13:17
Yeah, for sure. 

Rich Bennett 13:18
Oh, yeah. 

Wendy Beck 13:18
Yeah, I imagine. 

Rich Bennett 13:20
An hour. 

500 an hour. 

Shawn Melis 13:23
Wow. 

Rich Bennett 13:24
It's. 

Wendy Beck 13:25
One, I'm sure in places like New York and where there's like a multicultural 

Shawn Melis 13:30
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 13:30
environment. 

Shawn Melis 13:30
D.C., South Baltimore. Absolutely. Absolutely. 

Rich Bennett 13:34
With. Isn't there more than one Chinese language? You. 

Shawn Melis 13:38
So. 

Rich Bennett 13:38
A mandarin 

Shawn Melis 13:38
Kind 

Rich Bennett 13:38
a. 

Shawn Melis 13:39
of give you have. Denise. But if you're from mainland China, I asked my wife the other They referred to it Further as Mandarin. 

Rich Bennett 13:47
Okay. 

Shawn Melis 13:48
They'll say that person. 

Rich Bennett 13:49
First speaks Cantonese. 

Shawn Melis 13:49
Denise, but they'll 

Rich Bennett 13:50
Those 

Shawn Melis 13:50
say, 

Rich Bennett 13:50
I've 

Shawn Melis 13:51
Oh. 

Rich Bennett 13:51
always been trying to. 

Shawn Melis 13:53
But it's Mandarin. 

Wendy Beck 13:55
Do you speak either of those language? 

Shawn Melis 13:57
I know, Pogo. 

Rich Bennett 14:00
What happens when you. 

Wendy Beck 14:02
A little. 

Shawn Melis 14:02
I speak a little bit of Spanish. 

Rich Bennett 14:03
Oh. 

Shawn Melis 14:04
I know, I know some vocabulary, but like formulating sense 

Wendy Beck 14:07
Hang up on you guys. 

Shawn Melis 14:08
Oh, absolutely. 

Rich Bennett 14:09
But it's amazing to you how quick you can forget the language you learn. 

Shawn Melis 14:15
Absolutely. 

Wendy Beck 14:15
If 

Rich Bennett 14:15
Because, 

Wendy Beck 14:15
you don't 

Rich Bennett 14:15
I mean, 

Wendy Beck 14:16
you. 

Rich Bennett 14:16
I learned Japanese. I was in the Marine Corps. 

Shawn Melis 14:20
Got it. 

Rich Bennett 14:21
Now. 

Shawn Melis 14:22
I was just say for all the anime you watched as a kid. 

Wendy Beck 14:25
Will you use? 

Rich Bennett 14:26
And my enemy was Speed Racer. But 

Shawn Melis 14:30
But that 

Rich Bennett 14:31
nowadays. 

Shawn Melis 14:31
down days. 

Rich Bennett 14:32
And a community wide domo. All they got, though, thanks to sticks. You know, so I mean, there's a lot I don't remember anymore. 

Wendy Beck 14:40
Well, if you don't need it. 

Rich Bennett 14:42
Yeah, but. 

Wendy Beck 14:43
We're not going to use it. 

Rich Bennett 14:44
See, the thing is like if there is. I just think it's a beautiful thing. Like French. French. 

Shawn Melis 14:49
Sure. 

Rich Bennett 14:50
But it can be a harsh language as well. You know, I just and it blows me away. Some people, they will speak like seven fluent, seven languages fluently. 

Wendy Beck 15:04
But if you think about it, in Europe, all these countries are closer and they can jump borders and, you know, interact where we don't have that. 

Rich Bennett 15:12
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 15:12
I mean, English. Yes, they're Spanish and if you're in a different, you know, maybe like cultural environment, you would have the opportunity. But we we really don't have that opportunity. 

Rich Bennett 15:23
Yeah, that's true. 

Shawn Melis 15:24
And we don't need it. And that's unfortunate because I think there's a there's beauty to knowing more than language being to converse with different people about their cultural context, which building their relationships. 

Rich Bennett 15:35
I don't even know what they even teach in high school anymore. I 

Wendy Beck 15:38
French. 

Rich Bennett 15:38
think 

Wendy Beck 15:39
Spanish, German. 

Rich Bennett 15:40
they do 

Wendy Beck 15:40
German. Yeah. My niece. 

Rich Bennett 15:42
is important. 

Wendy Beck 15:42
My niece takes German. I know that. Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 15:46
So. 

Shawn Melis 15:46
So it's like the big three. I mean, I think they've probably taught those three languages 

Wendy Beck 15:49
When I went to 

Shawn Melis 15:50
when I was a kid. 

Wendy Beck 15:50
when I went to high school in at Boston, they had Chinese. 

Shawn Melis 15:53
Yeah, well, that's cool. 

Wendy Beck 15:54
Yeah, I didn't take it, but that was there 

Shawn Melis 15:57
was available. 

Wendy Beck 15:57
at the time. Yeah. 

Shawn Melis 15:58
Yeah, I know. I. 

Rich Bennett 16:00
I didn't take any. 

Wendy Beck 16:02
I took French, but I was dyslexic, so it was hard. 

Rich Bennett 16:06
The big one. 

Wendy Beck 16:06
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 16:07
Is sign language. 

Shawn Melis 16:08
Mm. 

Wendy Beck 16:09
You could probably watch. 

Rich Bennett 16:13
Na na na na na. YouTube university is not 

Wendy Beck 16:16
Here. 

Rich Bennett 16:16
very. 

Wendy Beck 16:17
Here. 

Rich Bennett 16:20
I just 

Wendy Beck 16:21
Taught 

Rich Bennett 16:21
want. 

Wendy Beck 16:21
you something. 

Rich Bennett 16:22
Yeah. For 

Shawn Melis 16:22
I'm 

Rich Bennett 16:22
good. 

Shawn Melis 16:22
pretty sure 

Rich Bennett 16:23
For 

Shawn Melis 16:23
he. 

Wendy Beck 16:23
No, no, no, no, 

Rich Bennett 16:24
listening. 

Wendy Beck 16:24
no, no. 

Rich Bennett 16:26
Oh, I. 

Wendy Beck 16:28
That was a joke. 

Rich Bennett 16:29
Uh huh. It's like Wendy wouldn't do that. She's too ladylike. Yeah. You know what she did? She showed me sign language. You said you were in Cal. 

Wendy Beck 16:39
Sorry. 

Rich Bennett 16:39
California. 

What? 

Wendy Beck 16:43
No. 

Rich Bennett 16:43
What? What? 

Wendy Beck 16:44
Sorry. 

Shawn Melis 16:44
They said, sorry. I'm like, Are you? 

Wendy Beck 16:46
It was a joke. 

Shawn Melis 16:49
What? 

Rich Bennett 16:49
But no, you're not. Sorry. 

Wendy Beck 16:51
He said that didn't. 

Rich Bennett 16:53
He is of you. Are you sorry saying you said no? 

Wendy Beck 16:55
Yes, I was just being facetious. 

Rich Bennett 16:58
How much effort it. 

Say, Yeah, message me. I'll message back. Uh huh. Yeah. Okay. So we were 

Shawn Melis 17:09
Were 

Rich Bennett 17:09
you. 

Shawn Melis 17:09
you in California? 

Rich Bennett 17:09
FOURNIER You weren't you didn't have your own franchise yet. 

Shawn Melis 17:13
No. 

Rich Bennett 17:13
So what were you 

Shawn Melis 17:14
I was a white collar office guy. Never dreamed of ever owning a small business. Being an entrepreneur, I was content with my 40 hours a week. Corporate finance done. Like I leave. I leave. So, yeah, come to Maryland and actually start opening 

Rich Bennett 17:28
opening 

Shawn Melis 17:28
up 

Rich Bennett 17:28
up? 

Shawn Melis 17:28
Pandora's box. And I think it's funny that we got work sometimes, right? 

Rich Bennett 17:32
Mm hmm. 

What? 

Shawn Melis 17:35
I had no idea the adoption journey was going to kind of open our eyes to some of the problems that can happen when you adopt kids. 

Rich Bennett 17:42
Um. 

Judgment. Just. With what? 

Shawn Melis 17:46
Reactive attachment disorder. 

Wendy Beck 17:47
What does that mean? 

Shawn Melis 17:48
Oh. Big words. So when? 

Rich Bennett 17:52
What happened to 

Shawn Melis 17:52
Sometimes 

Rich Bennett 17:52
that? 

Shawn Melis 17:52
when you have adopted kids who never thrived or never formed an attachment with a primary caregiver as they age, they. 

Rich Bennett 18:01
They can't afford. 

Shawn Melis 18:02
Primary attachments or it's significantly 

Rich Bennett 18:04
Challenging 

Shawn Melis 18:04
challenging 

Rich Bennett 18:05
for 

Shawn Melis 18:05
for 

Rich Bennett 18:05
them 

Shawn Melis 18:05
the. 

Rich Bennett 18:05
to. 

Shawn Melis 18:05
And then they start fighting the attachment if it starts coming. And so when, when and what'll happen is it's like for my wife and I, our son will be aggressive. Roy Hill. When he experiences love, he'll reject it. 

Rich Bennett 18:21
Mm. 

Shawn Melis 18:22
Or he'll act out sometimes in violent tantrums. Throwing things out. Glass windows. 

Wendy Beck 18:31
Is 

Rich Bennett 18:31
When 

Wendy Beck 18:31
it? 

Rich Bennett 18:31
the windows 

Wendy Beck 18:31
Is 

Rich Bennett 18:32
closed. 

Wendy Beck 18:32
it like. 

Shawn Melis 18:32
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 18:33
Fear. Is it a fear? 

Shawn Melis 18:34
It's not a fear, it's a lack of attachment. They don't. It's 

Rich Bennett 18:37
They're not 

Shawn Melis 18:37
when a kid when a kid doesn't know how to 

Rich Bennett 18:40
experienced. 

Shawn Melis 18:40
experience love if they've never formed an. They don't know what that bond is like. And so for them, they don't know that how to put words to their feelings. And so they act out sometimes in violent ways. And so our son, like in kindergarten, stabbed a kid with a pencil. 

He yeah, he's he's he's broken three windows in our home, the glass windows. 

Wendy Beck 19:07
Is 

Shawn Melis 19:07
And 

Wendy Beck 19:07
this? 

Shawn Melis 19:07
it's been a. 

Wendy Beck 19:08
She'll outgrow. 

Shawn Melis 19:09
You know, it could. My wife and I are just we're just praying right now. We've got. 

Rich Bennett 19:14
You're not giving up. 

Shawn Melis 19:15
No. Never give up. Never give up. 

Wendy Beck 19:17
Is that the only 

Shawn Melis 19:18
It's. 

Wendy Beck 19:19
thing that he's got going on? 

Shawn Melis 19:21
It's funny because it it could exactly it could display itself in with other psychological terms, like opposition to fight disorder, 

Wendy Beck 19:28
Gotcha. 

Shawn Melis 19:29
traumatic. 

Wendy Beck 19:29
Okay. Yes. 

Shawn Melis 19:30
There's other things that 

could explain it or at least describe the behavior. But at the root of it is just this lack of attachment. Um, and so that's one of the hardest journeys I think my wife and I have have walked through 

Rich Bennett 19:44
Yeah. 

Shawn Melis 19:44
is. 

Rich Bennett 19:45
As our oldest son does the. 

Shawn Melis 19:49
Like there's not that attachment in his brain. He would if rich if or when if you guys offered 

Rich Bennett 19:56
I could 

Shawn Melis 19:56
a. 

Rich Bennett 19:56
take him over. 

Shawn Melis 19:57
He was a sure. 

Rich Bennett 19:59
Wow. 

Shawn Melis 20:00
Yeah. You want to come live with? 

Rich Bennett 20:00
With me. 

Shawn Melis 20:01
Here's a Oh, I would love to. 

Wendy Beck 20:03
How old was he when you got. 

Shawn Melis 20:04
He was 11 months. 

Wendy Beck 20:05
Oh. 

Shawn Melis 20:07
But primary. 

Rich Bennett 20:07
Primary tax that is between zero and 12. Oh, wow. 

Shawn Melis 20:10
When it comes to Yasmin's kids in foster care, it's like if they're 

Rich Bennett 20:14
Are 

Shawn Melis 20:14
passed 

Rich Bennett 20:14
passed around 

Shawn Melis 20:14
around from 

Rich Bennett 20:14
from one caregiver to the next. All right. 

Shawn Melis 20:17
hero to. 

Rich Bennett 20:18
Well. 

Wendy Beck 20:18
One. 

Shawn Melis 20:19
And never form that attachment with a primary caregiver because they're just their needs are neglected, their need. Met 

Rich Bennett 20:24
Right. Or 

Shawn Melis 20:25
or they 

Rich Bennett 20:25
they keep. 

Shawn Melis 20:25
keep being met by different people. They don't know 

Rich Bennett 20:27
No. 

Shawn Melis 20:27
who 

Rich Bennett 20:27
Who 

Shawn Melis 20:28
is. 

Rich Bennett 20:28
is going to make their. 

Shawn Melis 20:29
So they do this. I need to meet my needs. So they start stealing, they start lying, they start manipulating, they start taking that to school and manipulated their teachers and just hoarding or they start getting violent. 

Wendy Beck 20:43
How is the relationships with the other kids in the house? 

Shawn Melis 20:46
It depends on the day. 

Wendy Beck 20:48
I can imagine. 

Shawn Melis 20:48
On more challenging. 

Wendy Beck 20:49
That. I mean, I really commend you guys because I can't even imagine. How difficult that must be. 

Shawn Melis 20:55
Yeah. Yeah, it's. It's harder. 

Rich Bennett 20:57
11 months as we. 

Shawn Melis 20:58
11 months old. We know when he was. 

Rich Bennett 20:59
This place with. 

Shawn Melis 21:00
In foster care. 

Rich Bennett 21:01
Oh. 

Shawn Melis 21:01
He was 11 months old. 

Rich Bennett 21:02
And it could be that he did. And let's face it, that mother, that mother child bond is 

Shawn Melis 21:08
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 21:08
very important. And. 

Shawn Melis 21:09
It is extremely important. 

Rich Bennett 21:10
May not have had that at all. 

Shawn Melis 21:11
Never. He never had that that primary. 

Rich Bennett 21:14
America. 

Shawn Melis 21:15
It doesn't have to be a. 

Rich Bennett 21:16
Almost. 

Shawn Melis 21:16
Be a grandma. It could be an heir. It could be an uncle. It could be a father. Like it's forming. 

Rich Bennett 21:21
Forming a. 

Shawn Melis 21:22
Any primary attachment. 

Wendy Beck 21:24
Anything from physical. Eye contact. You know, 

Shawn Melis 21:27
Yep. 

Wendy Beck 21:27
you could have, you know. I want to say like puppies or whatever. I'm just going to use that as an 

Shawn Melis 21:34
Sure. 

Wendy Beck 21:34
example. And they come in and. And they're being taken out. But no one ever bonds with them like that's going to affect their personality. 

Shawn Melis 21:42
Absolutely. 

Wendy Beck 21:43
Yeah. So it's the same. I never. I've never had any kind. You know, I thought about that before, but I could understand how that would be very difficult 

Shawn Melis 21:51
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 21:51
for everyone in. 

Rich Bennett 21:53
And how you feel. 

Shawn Melis 21:54
He's 11. 

Rich Bennett 21:55
11. 

Wendy Beck 21:56
I mean, does he have like normal conversations and stuff like 

Shawn Melis 21:58
He could. Yeah. Sometimes it depends on if he wants to or not. Like. Like with most kids. 

Rich Bennett 22:02
So you said with something like that, does he go to therapy? 

Shawn Melis 22:06
He said he's been in therapy for a long time. Yeah. But it's it's just a challenge, like and a heart just breaks for him because we see all these 

Rich Bennett 22:13
Manifestations of empathy, 

Shawn Melis 22:14
babies. He cries. 

Rich Bennett 22:15
crying out for love and affection. Attention. 

Shawn Melis 22:18
But his idea of a. 

Rich Bennett 22:18
Attention is paid. 

Shawn Melis 22:19
Positive. A negative. 

Rich Bennett 22:20
Attention. 

Wendy Beck 22:21
Right? Yeah. 

Shawn Melis 22:22
So him breaking something and getting. 

Wendy Beck 22:24
Gets your attention. 

Shawn Melis 22:25
Doing It gets our. 

Rich Bennett 22:26
Our attention. Wow. 

Shawn Melis 22:28
And if you don't have an attachment breaking something, it doesn't matter. I. 

Wendy Beck 22:31
Right. You don't care. 

Shawn Melis 22:31
I don't care if you're angry with me. 

Wendy Beck 22:33
I don't care if that was important. 

Shawn Melis 22:34
I don't care if that was important. I don't care if it is meaningful. 

Rich Bennett 22:38
So. And yet 

Shawn Melis 22:39
I mean, we're 

Rich Bennett 22:40
you 

Shawn Melis 22:40
still 

Rich Bennett 22:40
still 

Shawn Melis 22:40
struggling 

Rich Bennett 22:40
struggle. 

Shawn Melis 22:41
with. And I. Russell. But 

Rich Bennett 22:44
But 

Shawn Melis 22:44
like 

Rich Bennett 22:44
like. 

Shawn Melis 22:44
one of my daughters is strong with, like. Suicidal thoughts. 

Wendy Beck 22:48
She pre-teen. 

Shawn Melis 22:51
Almost. She's 13, so. 

Wendy Beck 22:54
Okay. Yeah, that's teen. 

Shawn Melis 22:55
In the throes of all of those transformations. And identity 

Rich Bennett 22:59
The issues 

Shawn Melis 23:00
is 

Rich Bennett 23:00
and 

Shawn Melis 23:00
in. 

Rich Bennett 23:00
just. 

Shawn Melis 23:01
Image issues. All sorts of things. And it's hard and I mean. 

Wendy Beck 23:05
Just. Right there for a second. Being a parent, you know, being a parent of someone who went through a child with addiction, being a parent of someone who had some, you know, has she has like some mental health, you know, difficulties, but has also, you know, we went through COVID, we went through the death, the death of a sibling. We went through divorce. We went through moves. And just to see on a level in a loving environment the struggles that someone goes through. And then you guys have all of this. I can't even imagine. Do you have self-care for you guys? 

Rich Bennett 23:42
You know, I. 

Wendy Beck 23:42
I mean, come on, you guys. I mean, this is like. I mean, not everyone could do this. Not every. 

Shawn Melis 23:49
God like. This isn't about my grace is sufficient for you, for my strength has made perfect in your weakness. And. 

I know 

Rich Bennett 23:57
know. 

Shawn Melis 23:58
because I've lived it that God's good. 

Rich Bennett 23:59
Praise is sufficient for today. 

Shawn Melis 24:01
That I don't need to worry about tomorrow. I don't need to worry about next week or 

Rich Bennett 24:04
The 

Shawn Melis 24:04
next 

Rich Bennett 24:04
next 

Shawn Melis 24:04
day. 

Rich Bennett 24:04
day. 

Shawn Melis 24:06
I'll get through today because got a. And tomorrow, 

Rich Bennett 24:09
Tomorrow. 

Shawn Melis 24:10
whatever. 

Rich Bennett 24:10
Right. 

Shawn Melis 24:10
Endure tomorrow. God will give me the 

Rich Bennett 24:12
The 

Shawn Melis 24:12
grace 

Rich Bennett 24:12
grace I 

Shawn Melis 24:13
I need 

Rich Bennett 24:13
need to 

Shawn Melis 24:13
for 

Rich Bennett 24:13
search. 

Shawn Melis 24:13
tomorrow. We have phenomenal church, Redemption City church in Baltimore that has surrounded us for the last couple of years. And if we have anything we know. We know we've got a family there. 

Wendy Beck 24:25
You've got to support us. Yes. 

Shawn Melis 24:27
There's a number of like 

Rich Bennett 24:28
Like 

Shawn Melis 24:28
even faster organization. 

Rich Bennett 24:29
reservations. 

Shawn Melis 24:30
Foster support groups. But. 

Rich Bennett 24:32
Family is always 

Shawn Melis 24:33
Translation I've been working with up in here, often in Harford County. They do some phenomenal things and providing support groups for foster parents. 

Forgotten initiative is another one that that really seeks to encourage foster teens to have a an open place where 

Rich Bennett 24:51
Well, they can talk about this stuff. 

Shawn Melis 24:52
That they're going through. 

Wendy Beck 24:53
I mean, to be able to take on something like that, you know, you you have to have a level of wholeness because, you know, you know, the struggles of every day and having a difficult teenager or a difficult toddler. And you come home from work and you. 

Shawn Melis 25:08
Yeah, 

Wendy Beck 25:09
Dressers or or whatever else might be going on in your life, 

Shawn Melis 25:12
yeah, 

Wendy Beck 25:12
you know, your own past traumas or anything like that. I just I can't even imagine, 

Shawn Melis 25:17
yeah. 

Wendy Beck 25:17
like. 

Shawn Melis 25:19
You know, it's interesting, said Wendy, because we had a situation recently where a friend of a a tour a well, so I was talking to our friend who knew none. 

Rich Bennett 25:29
Just think about her life situation. 

Shawn Melis 25:31
And. 

He said he said to our. 

One of one of my wife or I has almost given up hope. 

About. 

Rich Bennett 25:45
About these. 

Shawn Melis 25:45
These kids and specifically our son. And 

I had a hard time having that conversation with my wife because I was me like, I've. It's gotten so bad. Where? 

Wendy Beck 25:59
You. 

Shawn Melis 25:59
I've almost lost hope. I've almost lost hope that he is going to change like this is going to get better because we've been going through 

Rich Bennett 26:08
Through 

Shawn Melis 26:09
it 

Rich Bennett 26:09
it 

Shawn Melis 26:09
for 

Rich Bennett 26:09
for eight 

Shawn Melis 26:09
eight years. 

Rich Bennett 26:09
years. 

Shawn Melis 26:10
It's been a long war. Of of just the defined. 

Wendy Beck 26:14
Exhausting. 

Rich Bennett 26:16
That's a great. 

Shawn Melis 26:17
Word for it is across. 

Wendy Beck 26:18
Well, I mean again. I am not comparing anything that you have gone through with him, but just sometimes, like regular parenting 

Shawn Melis 26:26
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 26:26
can be exhausting when you have someone weave in 

Rich Bennett 26:29
Interviewed people. 

Wendy Beck 26:29
People who have had, you know, autism. All of these other like layers of of just things. And, you know, my heart goes out for those parents because, you know, I don't I don't know how you do it. So back to this health care. So you're you're you're not. You never give up hope. 

Shawn Melis 26:49
Never. 

Wendy Beck 26:50
Never. Never. 

Shawn Melis 26:50
Never. So even if there's a thread, there's still a thread. 

Rich Bennett 26:54
Mm. 

Shawn Melis 26:55
And and and that's what like my wife is this encouraging me. Shawn is like, as long as there's hope. There's hope as long as you believe 

Rich Bennett 27:01
Can 

Shawn Melis 27:01
in. 

Rich Bennett 27:01
trust that. 

Shawn Melis 27:02
That God is strong enough and. To get us through this. That has. 

Rich Bennett 27:06
His grace is sufficient. 

Wendy Beck 27:07
Let me ask a question, if you don't mind me. 

Shawn Melis 27:09
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 27:11
Does he have faith? Is he capable of having faith in God? 

Shawn Melis 27:15
So our son. 

Wendy Beck 27:16
Yes. 

Shawn Melis 27:17
So right now? No. 

But. 

Rich Bennett 27:21
But. 

Wendy Beck 27:22
I'm just curious if that's a. A component 

Shawn Melis 27:25
See glimpses of it. 

Wendy Beck 27:26
of. 

Shawn Melis 27:27
He comes to church with us every Sunday. Here's a same message we hear. He gets to experience just the joy of childhood. I guess I just built a treehouse for our kids. 

Rich Bennett 27:39
Mm. 

Shawn Melis 27:39
I'm almost done with it. It's 

Rich Bennett 27:41
It's 

Shawn Melis 27:41
like 

Rich Bennett 27:41
like 

Shawn Melis 27:41
a 

Rich Bennett 27:41
a. 

Shawn Melis 27:41
Baltimore run home. Got two decks. We've got a little rooftop deck on top and. 

Rich Bennett 27:46
Love. 

Shawn Melis 27:47
And I see him go playing on it like a normal kid. And those are the glimpses. 

Wendy Beck 27:54
Yeah, 

Shawn Melis 27:55
Those 

Wendy Beck 27:55
exactly. 

Shawn Melis 27:55
are the shadows that I see where I. 

Wendy Beck 27:58
That's the light. Not. 

Shawn Melis 27:59
There's. There's like. Um, and so I see that and go, okay. 

Rich Bennett 28:05
That's. That's what. 

Shawn Melis 28:08
And kind of lead. Share those. I share those things because I never would have imagined that. I would have gotten into entrepreneurship and being a small business owner. But on this side. 

Rich Bennett 28:20
Side of what we've. 

Shawn Melis 28:21
Experienced. 

Rich Bennett 28:22
Mm hmm. 

Shawn Melis 28:22
I'm so 

Rich Bennett 28:22
So 

Shawn Melis 28:23
thankful 

Rich Bennett 28:23
they fly 

Shawn Melis 28:23
I. 

Rich Bennett 28:23
you? 

Shawn Melis 28:24
Because I can run 

Rich Bennett 28:25
On 

Shawn Melis 28:25
my 

Rich Bennett 28:25
my own 

Shawn Melis 28:25
own 

Rich Bennett 28:25
schedule. 

Shawn Melis 28:25
set. 

Rich Bennett 28:26
Right. 

Shawn Melis 28:27
If I don't, I don't need 

Rich Bennett 28:28
need to 

Shawn Melis 28:28
to 

Rich Bennett 28:28
be 

Shawn Melis 28:28
be in 

Rich Bennett 28:28
in. 

Shawn Melis 28:28
my stores every day. I can do the self-care. I 

Rich Bennett 28:32
I 

Shawn Melis 28:32
can 

Rich Bennett 28:32
can 

Shawn Melis 28:32
go 

Rich Bennett 28:32
go 

Shawn Melis 28:33
to. 

Rich Bennett 28:33
to the therapy appointments. 

Shawn Melis 28:34
I can take my car. Appointments. I could be there for the best. 

Rich Bennett 28:36
As for the football or the sports don't like me, that's. 

Shawn Melis 28:40
And in our family, we we sometimes have like it's it's almost like one thing after the other. 

Wendy Beck 28:46
You can imagine. 

Rich Bennett 28:47
Yeah, 

Shawn Melis 28:47
And it's not the goods. It's sometimes 

Rich Bennett 28:49
it's 

Shawn Melis 28:49
it's the 

Rich Bennett 28:49
the. 

Shawn Melis 28:49
practices, but sometimes it's. Rise out. And now my 

Rich Bennett 28:55
My wife. 

Shawn Melis 28:55
wife needs to take care of that child. And I'm doing. 

Rich Bennett 28:57
Doing. 

Shawn Melis 28:58
The shuttling of kids between practices. 

Rich Bennett 29:00
Sometimes it's me having to. 

Shawn Melis 29:01
To just spend time with one 

Rich Bennett 29:04
My brother kids. 

Shawn Melis 29:04
kids. And 

Rich Bennett 29:04
And 

Shawn Melis 29:05
then. 

Rich Bennett 29:05
then my wife, physician. 

Shawn Melis 29:05
Shuttle and that's where if I. 

Rich Bennett 29:08
I did not own my own business. 

Shawn Melis 29:10
If I was 

Rich Bennett 29:11
It's 

Shawn Melis 29:11
not 

Rich Bennett 29:11
not something 

Shawn Melis 29:11
so. I 

Rich Bennett 29:12
I. 

Shawn Melis 29:12
would not have the freedom I have right now. 

Rich Bennett 29:14
Yeah. Okay, 

Shawn Melis 29:15
Okay, guys. 

Rich Bennett 29:15
guys, I got to leave. My wife got an emergency. 

Shawn Melis 29:17
See. Well, I'll come back tomorrow. I'll come back next weekend and make. 

Rich Bennett 29:22
But 

Shawn Melis 29:22
Good. So in that way, it's like I love being 

Rich Bennett 29:24
because 

Shawn Melis 29:24
a small business owner and that's why I think now you guys are 

Rich Bennett 29:27
hearing 

Shawn Melis 29:27
hearing 

Rich Bennett 29:27
so 

Shawn Melis 29:27
some 

Rich Bennett 29:27
much 

Shawn Melis 29:27
of my story 

Rich Bennett 29:28
stories. 

Shawn Melis 29:28
about why my heart is so. 

Rich Bennett 29:30
I'm passionate. 

Shawn Melis 29:31
And being generous 

Rich Bennett 29:33
Mm. 

Shawn Melis 29:33
with. 

Rich Bennett 29:33
This community. 

Shawn Melis 29:34
Unity is because we're coming from 

Rich Bennett 29:35
From a 

Shawn Melis 29:36
a 

Rich Bennett 29:36
place 

Shawn Melis 29:36
place where 

Rich Bennett 29:36
where 

Shawn Melis 29:36
we 

Rich Bennett 29:36
we 

Shawn Melis 29:36
see. 

Rich Bennett 29:36
see the brokenness. 

Shawn Melis 29:37
So 

Rich Bennett 29:37
We 

Shawn Melis 29:37
we see 

Rich Bennett 29:37
see 

Shawn Melis 29:37
what 

Rich Bennett 29:37
what. 

Shawn Melis 29:38
what our committee. His goal 

Rich Bennett 29:40
Going through 

Shawn Melis 29:41
on 

Rich Bennett 29:41
on 

Shawn Melis 29:41
a. 

Rich Bennett 29:41
a daily basis. There's 

Shawn Melis 29:42
There's 

Rich Bennett 29:42
parents. 

Shawn Melis 29:42
parents out there, like you're saying. Who even just the normal challenges. 

Rich Bennett 29:46
As a parent, you try. 

Shawn Melis 29:46
Child or more challenges of. Just being a parent right now with social media. 

Rich Bennett 29:53
Hmm. 

Shawn Melis 29:54
The COVID. 

Rich Bennett 29:56
Still recovered 

Shawn Melis 29:56
Recovering from COVID 

Rich Bennett 29:57
COVID 

Shawn Melis 29:58
and the pandemic 

Rich Bennett 29:58
pandemic 

Shawn Melis 29:59
and 

Rich Bennett 29:59
and 

Shawn Melis 29:59
the 

Rich Bennett 29:59
the social 

Shawn Melis 29:59
social isolation 

Rich Bennett 29:59
isolation. 

Shawn Melis 30:00
and all 

Wendy Beck 30:00
The highest 

Shawn Melis 30:00
of. 

Wendy Beck 30:01
level. 

Shawn Melis 30:01
I. 

Wendy Beck 30:02
Person and teenagers. 

Shawn Melis 30:03
Yeah. Or even it even in the. I've worked with a couple organizations that handle addiction or kids who 

Rich Bennett 30:09
Who 

Shawn Melis 30:09
are 

Rich Bennett 30:09
are 

Shawn Melis 30:09
suffering 

Rich Bennett 30:09
some 

Shawn Melis 30:10
kids 

Rich Bennett 30:10
kids? 

Shawn Melis 30:10
or a family of parents 

Rich Bennett 30:11
Parents who 

Shawn Melis 30:11
who are. 

Rich Bennett 30:11
are suffering from addiction. 

Shawn Melis 30:12
And actually clubhouse. They're on the same shopping zone. 

Rich Bennett 30:16
As we. 

Shawn Melis 30:16
Me and it's 

Wendy Beck 30:16
Yeah. 

Shawn Melis 30:17
like I give them, I give 

Rich Bennett 30:18
Get 

Shawn Melis 30:18
the. 

Rich Bennett 30:18
their free coupons at. 

Shawn Melis 30:19
Pass out to these kids so they can just get a normal a pizza, a slice 

Wendy Beck 30:22
Yeah, 

Shawn Melis 30:22
of 

Wendy Beck 30:22
I'm very 

Shawn Melis 30:22
pizza. 

Wendy Beck 30:22
familiar with them. 

Shawn Melis 30:24
And just have something that's normal. 

Rich Bennett 30:25
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 30:26
No, they do great things. 

Shawn Melis 30:28
Honestly. 

Wendy Beck 30:28
They they really have tapped into something that's missing in the. 

Shawn Melis 30:32
Yep. 

Wendy Beck 30:33
And. 

Shawn Melis 30:33
Yep. 

Wendy Beck 30:33
Yeah, I'm on the advisory board. 

Shawn Melis 30:36
Some. 

Wendy Beck 30:36
Yeah, 

Shawn Melis 30:36
I mean. And 

Wendy Beck 30:37
we pulled. 

Shawn Melis 30:38
the. 

Wendy Beck 30:39
Organizations that are similar. 

Shawn Melis 30:40
Mm hmm. 

Wendy Beck 30:41
With addiction 

Shawn Melis 30:41
Yep. 

Wendy Beck 30:41
into just to tell us what's going on and to brainstorm and stuff like that. But yeah, I 

Shawn Melis 30:48
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 30:48
got it. 

Shawn Melis 30:49
Because I didn't. 

Rich Bennett 30:49
It just abundance. Mm. 

Shawn Melis 30:52
And I've shared with. 

Rich Bennett 30:53
It's like. 

Shawn Melis 30:54
The most normal thing. Is watching movie and pizza and popcorn like. And yet a 

Rich Bennett 30:58
A lot 

Shawn Melis 30:59
lot of 

Rich Bennett 30:59
of 

Shawn Melis 30:59
the 

Rich Bennett 30:59
the 

Shawn Melis 30:59
kids. 

Rich Bennett 30:59
kids in our community don't 

Shawn Melis 31:00
Don't get 

Rich Bennett 31:00
get 

Shawn Melis 31:00
to 

Rich Bennett 31:00
to 

Shawn Melis 31:00
experience 

Rich Bennett 31:00
experience that. 

Shawn Melis 31:01
that because of all of this trauma in their life. 

Wendy Beck 31:04
Yeah. 

Shawn Melis 31:05
And so I'm just really on a mission to share like I. 

Rich Bennett 31:07
We mentioned that. 

Shawn Melis 31:08
Like my goal this year. And Peter's just blessing the community, just sharing that abundance with organizations far and wide. I think we've done over 30 organizations so far this year. 

Rich Bennett 31:19
Correct me if I'm wrong, but when we told last and that's one of the reasons. You wanted to. 

Shawn Melis 31:27
Little Caesars 

Rich Bennett 31:27
Well, see, that's 

Shawn Melis 31:28
debates 

Rich Bennett 31:28
one 

Shawn Melis 31:28
pizza. 

Rich Bennett 31:28
of the reasons you wanted to. 

Shawn Melis 31:30
Absolutely. 

Rich Bennett 31:31
Because they get back. 

Shawn Melis 31:32
Absolutely. 

Rich Bennett 31:32
But 

Shawn Melis 31:33
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 31:33
you said you're starting to see some of them that weren't doing it as much as you are now. 

Shawn Melis 31:37
Yeah. So. So when I grew up, Little Caesars, one of those one of the local community organizations that always sponsor the local little league, they always were there at like after school parties or pizza parties or birthday parties. Like they were everywhere. And it seemed like as. 

Rich Bennett 31:53
The larger franchise. 

Shawn Melis 31:54
He's kind of bought up those stores and formed kind of a larger kind of conglomerates. They lost some of that community touch. And so what I'm trying to do is kind of restore what what that was and give back to. 

Rich Bennett 32:06
It's not kind of. You are restoring it. 

Shawn Melis 32:08
Yeah. Yeah, 

Rich Bennett 32:09
Yeah. 

Shawn Melis 32:09
I'm. It's. It's a long journey, 

Rich Bennett 32:11
Yeah. 

Shawn Melis 32:11
but I'm so glad I was just talking to another franchisee right 

Rich Bennett 32:14
Right 

Shawn Melis 32:14
before. 

Rich Bennett 32:14
before he came on. 

Shawn Melis 32:16
Have you guys heard of The Love Kitchen? So little. 

Rich Bennett 32:18
Is that, Jason? 

Shawn Melis 32:19
No. So Little Caesars Corp.. They've got they've outfitted semi-truck. 

Rich Bennett 32:25
Trucks. 

Shawn Melis 32:26
With an entire 

Rich Bennett 32:26
Kitchen. 

Shawn Melis 32:27
an 

Rich Bennett 32:27
The entire 

Shawn Melis 32:27
entire 

Rich Bennett 32:28
pizza 

Shawn Melis 32:28
piece. 

Rich Bennett 32:28
kitchen. 

Shawn Melis 32:28
And they 

Rich Bennett 32:28
Wow. 

Shawn Melis 32:29
go round to communities. And where there's need. Sometimes it's after not. 

Rich Bennett 32:34
Natural disasters. 

Shawn Melis 32:35
Sometimes it just. 

Rich Bennett 32:36
Need were 

Shawn Melis 32:37
Where 

Rich Bennett 32:37
there. 

Shawn Melis 32:37
they're experiencing food insecurity. And they bring in local 

Rich Bennett 32:40
A 

Shawn Melis 32:40
franchisees 

Rich Bennett 32:40
franchisee. 

Shawn Melis 32:42
to staff the love kitchen and they just give back to a community. So they'll be there for multiple hours of the day just hanging out free pizza to people in the community. And so I've got. 

Rich Bennett 32:53
I never heard about that. 

Shawn Melis 32:55
Yeah, it's awesome. We've gone all over the country. 

Rich Bennett 32:57
I 

Shawn Melis 32:57
I 

Rich Bennett 32:57
don't 

Shawn Melis 32:57
think they've got three of them now. Several years. 

Rich Bennett 33:00
really. 

Shawn Melis 33:01
Yeah. It's been a long time. I think they just built out their third semi-truck. And so it's really cool. Yeah, well, 

Rich Bennett 33:08
Big 

Shawn Melis 33:08
big 

Rich Bennett 33:09
kitchen. 

Shawn Melis 33:09
kitchen, you know, it's a semi truck. 

Rich Bennett 33:11
Yeah. 

Shawn Melis 33:12
It's really cool. What? When? When I got a date for the community, I'll let you know, Rich, so you can come on, take a look at it, because it's. It's a phenomenal experience. 

Rich Bennett 33:20
Oh, I bet. I mean, that's the 

Shawn Melis 33:22
A 

Rich Bennett 33:22
sort 

Shawn Melis 33:22
surf. 

Rich Bennett 33:22
of. That's one of the things I with our club every year is the routine. 

Shawn Melis 33:29
From show. 

Rich Bennett 33:31
One of the things I love doing is grilling 

Shawn Melis 33:34
Yeah, 

Rich Bennett 33:35
the. 

Shawn Melis 33:35
sure. 

Rich Bennett 33:36
I think the last last year we fell off quick so we didn't get the opportunity to. But the year before or the last time we did it, because I think we did burgers, hot dogs all last year. You know what now? Let's go above and beyond. Pit beef. 

Shawn Melis 33:52
Nice. 

Rich Bennett 33:53
Pit turkey and pit ham. 

Wendy Beck 33:55
You sign up to be 

Rich Bennett 33:56
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 33:56
part of the 

Rich Bennett 33:57
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 33:58
British? 

Rich Bennett 33:58
And we are in Leo Club with your two kids from 12 to 18. 

Shawn Melis 34:02
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 34:03
Serve the food and which is great because they're learning something, but they love data. When it was time to go, they stuck behind and played games with 

Wendy Beck 34:13
With 

Rich Bennett 34:13
the 

Wendy Beck 34:13
the people. 

Rich Bennett 34:13
people that were in the shelter. 

Shawn Melis 34:15
That's really cool. 

Rich Bennett 34:16
Yeah. You know, these kids need to learn that stuff. 

Wendy Beck 34:20
They also have the opportunity to. 

Rich Bennett 34:22
Well. 

Wendy Beck 34:23
Sometimes there is not an opportunity. 

Rich Bennett 34:26
There is just people don't know where to look. I mean, that's an argument I face all the time when I go to some of these community advisory boards. You hear people there's nothing for the kids to do, really, because, you know, believe it or not, scouts are still around. 

Shawn Melis 34:41
Yep. 

Rich Bennett 34:42
We have our leaders. You know, there's there's opportunities to volunteer for kids everywhere. 

Wendy Beck 34:47
You know, but it's not always that easy. Like, for example, with our. 

Rich Bennett 34:51
Every year 

Wendy Beck 34:51
Rage Against Addiction has a memory walk recovery run in April, and it's like our big event of the year. It's in Bel Air, Cedar Lane, and I have had a lot of struggles with reaching out to the schools to see if like high school and middle school kids want to make awareness posters and they will bring the stuff. I will bring the posters, I will bring the markers, and it gives them an opportunity to give back to the community 

Rich Bennett 35:16
the. 

Wendy Beck 35:17
and to learn about, you know, they had to kind of, you know, figure out what they wanted to write and all that kind of stuff. But it's it's a struggle. 

Rich Bennett 35:26
I'm working on changing that because right now, the the free school, the community shop, the community service hours that kids have to have before they graduate are built into the curriculum. 

Wendy Beck 35:37
So they don't have to seek it outside. 

Rich Bennett 35:38
Exactly. 

Wendy Beck 35:40
And how are you willing. How are you? How are. I'm just curious. 

Rich Bennett 35:44
Like since we are now, we only we have the only Leo Club in our district. So this will be the first year we are doing a scholarship, but it's only eligible for somebody that's in the Leo Club. So I'm working on building the new model of Leo's for other Lions clubs to 

Wendy Beck 36:04
And then part of the scholarship 

Rich Bennett 36:07
Is they? 

Wendy Beck 36:07
was they have two community sort. 

Rich Bennett 36:10
Which is not 

Wendy Beck 36:10
From 

Rich Bennett 36:11
for. 

Wendy Beck 36:11
school. Gotcha. Okay. 

Rich Bennett 36:13
And they have to like they have to start a program. They have to run that program and not in the school. It's outside this community. Involved in the community. 

Shawn Melis 36:24
Thanks for all your. 

Rich Bennett 36:24
To do. 

Shawn Melis 36:24
I mean, that's an amazing opportunity for these kids. To serve. 

Rich Bennett 36:29
Do you have the. 

Wendy Beck 36:30
People need purpose. And they have to learn how to give back or they don't have that, you know, it's just not in their heart. They have to see it in order to to know how to do it. 

Rich Bennett 36:40
That's just it. Once the kids see it, then they realize, Oh, you know, these are a prime example. And I've seen it with several kids. I go to school. When you have a kid that's going to school with special needs, a lot of the other kids are attached to that kid. 

Shawn Melis 36:59
Mm hmm. 

Rich Bennett 37:00
More almost like protect them 

Shawn Melis 37:02
Yep. 

Rich Bennett 37:02
and everything, because there are unfortunately, there are still some people out there that were bullying 

Shawn Melis 37:07
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 37:08
and try to tease them and make fun of them. But I love seeing that that kids are attached and becoming friends 

Shawn Melis 37:14
Yeah, 

Rich Bennett 37:14
of these kids. 

Shawn Melis 37:15
I've heard of Best Buddies. 

Rich Bennett 37:16
Yes. 

Shawn Melis 37:16
Yeah, that's kind of like a organized way of 

Rich Bennett 37:18
Yes. 

Shawn Melis 37:18
doing that exact thing. But when it happens organically, it's even better. 

Rich Bennett 37:21
Yeah. Oh, yeah. 

Shawn Melis 37:22
Kids are are being supported. 

Rich Bennett 37:25
Especially against. 

Shawn Melis 37:26
Bullying, cyber bullying. 

Rich Bennett 37:27
Oh. Even with adults, the bullying is crazy. I mean, it's. 

Shawn Melis 37:34
Don't get started. 

Rich Bennett 37:35
Yeah. So. 

Shawn Melis 37:36
So when you talk about purpose, right, I mean, talk about your experience with like having an individual. 

Rich Bennett 37:41
Purpose. 

Shawn Melis 37:42
When it comes to addictions again. Is there a correlation between nine? Maybe getting. Having substance abuse problems or addiction. 

Wendy Beck 37:50
Oh, absolutely. Well, for me personally and then for the ladies in recovery. So, you know, there's there's two sides of it. So for me, starting Rage Against Addiction, while my daughter was struggling, I started out to just try to find those safety nets like, hey, what's missing in the community? What would better serve her and that type of thing? So that was kind of like a mission that I went on. And then once she passed away and we started housing women into sober living, that purpose kind of started to heal my grief because I had never really seen her on the recovery side of things. So, you know, to me, it it gave me faith knowing that, you know, it was possible that recovery was possible. And and I love that because I don't know if I could have done it without seeing these ladies. Actually doing it, doing the work, you know, changing their lives and 

Shawn Melis 38:45
Over. 

Wendy Beck 38:46
just and thriving. And then for them, on the flip side, they, you know, in the addiction world and in the addiction recovery world, there's the you know, it's I don't want to say motto, but it's like you want to give back what was really given to you. So, you know, one addict or alcoholic or someone struggling is there and they can relate to them. And so once they get to a place where they can, they're going to do that for the next person that comes in the door. So that brings that purpose all the way around. So the struggle turns into purpose and then the grief turns into purpose. And yeah, and I feel like that's what heals the community because if if we're just trying to, to satisfy our own needs are like our own wounds, so to speak, we're not going to heal. 

Rich Bennett 39:31
No. 

Wendy Beck 39:32
Oh, that's kind of a weird analogy, you know. You know, I don't know. Ours just kind of like. 

Rich Bennett 39:37
That's true. 

Wendy Beck 39:37
Yeah. So, 

Rich Bennett 39:38
I mean. 

Wendy Beck 39:39
I mean, we all need to. They're all. There needs to be something greater than ourselves. And so that's what we start to give back. And, you know, the 12 step program, they they have all of that like, you know, kind of mapped out. And they get to that point. And there's there's grief groups as well, you know, and types of things that will what. 

Rich Bennett 39:59
Oh, good. 

Wendy Beck 40:00
No, I'm done. 

Rich Bennett 40:01
No, I had a I had a crazy question for Sean. With everything that you that you've done and everything you're doing, have you actually even thought about starting a non-profit? 

Shawn Melis 40:13
I've thought about it lots of times. 

Rich Bennett 40:14
Okay. 

Shawn Melis 40:15
Just matter of capacity, I guess. 

Rich Bennett 40:18
Well, I mean, I know 

Shawn Melis 40:19
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 40:19
it's a lot of hard work. 

Wendy Beck 40:20
But what would what would the mission be? Because he's already he's already doing it. Do you see what I'm saying? Like the whole other level of, like, the fundraising and the grants? Like what? What would you you know, you are probably supported by nonprofit. 

Shawn Melis 40:35
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 40:36
Yeah. Helping other people. Everyone. 

Rich Bennett 40:39
That's where the hope comes in. 

Shawn Melis 40:42
I love connecting. So many organizations. A purpose. They've got a purpose. I'm. 

Rich Bennett 40:48
Driven to do this, but sometimes they. 

Shawn Melis 40:49
Connections in the community or this organization that's doing this really epic 

Rich Bennett 40:54
Awesome 

Shawn Melis 40:54
activity. 

Rich Bennett 40:54
activity. 

Shawn Melis 40:55
Doesn't know this other. 

Rich Bennett 40:56
The organization, right. 

Shawn Melis 40:58
And that's doing something similar. 

Rich Bennett 41:00
So. 

Shawn Melis 41:01
So let's see if you guys can. 

Rich Bennett 41:02
Connect it so that you 

Shawn Melis 41:03
You guys 

Rich Bennett 41:03
guys. 

Shawn Melis 41:04
can start collaborating and working as. 

Rich Bennett 41:07
A company. 

Shawn Melis 41:08
tionS at a greater scale. 

Wendy Beck 41:10
And that's when it works in the. For whatever you're whatever your goal or your purpose is. 

Rich Bennett 41:15
Mission could be something as simple as some other non-profits right here where it is to support other nonprofits. 

Shawn Melis 41:22
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 41:24
I mean, you. You have siad it's like that. You have what? The community foundation. 

Wendy Beck 41:29
Well, yeah. Do you have organizations that raise money to give to other organizations? 

Shawn Melis 41:34
Yep. And we're to work. I forgot to mention actually going through the adoption process with Columbia right now. And we're actually going through a kind of a an entity that does that where they. 

Rich Bennett 41:43
Really? 

Shawn Melis 41:44
Yeah. So number seven. 

Wendy Beck 41:45
I was going to say number seven. Have you met number seven? 

Shawn Melis 41:49
Not yet. We've tentatively matched, but we're waiting for a specific date. 

Rich Bennett 41:53
Let's 

Shawn Melis 41:54
See. 

Rich Bennett 41:54
see. 

Shawn Melis 41:55
So my wife and I, we love adopting. We love we love these kids. 

Rich Bennett 41:58
It's. 

Shawn Melis 41:58
And I fell in love with. 

Rich Bennett 42:00
With this 115 year old girl that 

Shawn Melis 42:02
I 

Rich Bennett 42:02
I 

Shawn Melis 42:02
just 

Rich Bennett 42:02
just 

Shawn Melis 42:02
read 

Rich Bennett 42:02
met. Her profile said she's part of family. Right. But 

Shawn Melis 42:05
my 

Rich Bennett 42:05
my wife, 

Shawn Melis 42:06
wife. 

Rich Bennett 42:06
um, I forgot to mention. 

Shawn Melis 42:08
And our our youngest son was a burn victim. 

Rich Bennett 42:11
Oh, man. 

Shawn Melis 42:12
So he had third degree burns on his arm. The area. And so she kind of 

Rich Bennett 42:18
But. 

Shawn Melis 42:18
attached to these potentially two kids available that were have pretty severe burns on. So we're kind of waiting to see if those kids become available or not. Before we we move forward with anybody. So. So, you know, it's just. Sorry. It's in my mind. I don't know how that's one mind, but it's a part. 

Wendy Beck 42:39
So 

Rich Bennett 42:40
With 

Wendy Beck 42:40
with 

Rich Bennett 42:40
David. 

Wendy Beck 42:40
that. 

Rich Bennett 42:40
Does this mean you guys will have to fly to Colombia? 

Shawn Melis 42:42
We would. Yeah. Just like any other international adoption. 

Rich Bennett 42:45
Hey, since Cooper download, all this stuff could have changed me virtually and. 

Shawn Melis 42:50
No, you still got to go through the the embassy, 

Rich Bennett 42:52
The 

Shawn Melis 42:52
the local 

Rich Bennett 42:52
local 

Shawn Melis 42:52
embassies 

Rich Bennett 42:52
embassy's. 

Shawn Melis 42:53
and. In country paperwork and. 

Rich Bennett 42:55
It. Correct me if I'm wrong, but. I don't know if this is true 

Shawn Melis 42:59
Somebody's 

Rich Bennett 42:59
or not. Somebody 

Shawn Melis 42:59
to. 

Rich Bennett 42:59
told me this, but it's easier to adopt somebody from another country. It is here in the United. 

Shawn Melis 43:05
Right. 

So so the challenge sometimes with adopting in the U.S. and it's can depend on what track you write. You can follow. 

Rich Bennett 43:14
Right. 

Shawn Melis 43:15
Or if you do a direct. 

Rich Bennett 43:15
Direct placement options. 

Shawn Melis 43:16
And sometimes state laws. 

Gives birth. 

Rich Bennett 43:21
Parents. 

Shawn Melis 43:21
Certain rights 

Rich Bennett 43:22
Mm. 

Shawn Melis 43:22
that allow them to revoke the. 

Rich Bennett 43:25
Oh. 

Shawn Melis 43:25
To to change or get through the whole birth process and change their mind after. Parents have invested a lot of money. 

Rich Bennett 43:33
Yeah. 

Shawn Melis 43:34
In connecting with the birth mom. 

Rich Bennett 43:37
So. 

Shawn Melis 43:40
There's there's challenge. But then the same thing can happen doing international adoption where you're 

Rich Bennett 43:44
A place you could be even 

Shawn Melis 43:45
even 

Rich Bennett 43:45
in country, 

Shawn Melis 43:46
and 

Rich Bennett 43:46
and 

Shawn Melis 43:46
then 

Rich Bennett 43:46
then 

Shawn Melis 43:46
if 

Rich Bennett 43:46
have 

Shawn Melis 43:46
that. 

Rich Bennett 43:46
that government side. 

Shawn Melis 43:47
Sides at. 

Rich Bennett 43:48
At that moment. 

Shawn Melis 43:49
We've turned off the adoption program. 

Rich Bennett 43:51
What? 

Shawn Melis 43:52
You're stuck. You've got to come home and. Uh, yeah. And that that happens, especially in some of the African countries, um, where their programs are very fluid. Um, and you, I mean. Yeah. You could get stuck there, too. 

Rich Bennett 44:08
That's a lot of money, You. 

Shawn Melis 44:09
Yes, it 

Wendy Beck 44:10
It 

Shawn Melis 44:10
is. 

Wendy Beck 44:10
is. Why? 

Rich Bennett 44:10
Wow. 

Shawn Melis 44:13
And there's no proper system, though. It's it's it's unfortunate, but there's no there's no proper system. 

Rich Bennett 44:18
But. But the rewards are worth it. 

Shawn Melis 44:20
The. 

Rich Bennett 44:20
Don't these? 

Shawn Melis 44:22
These kids need families. 

Rich Bennett 44:23
Yeah. 

Shawn Melis 44:23
They need forever families. And so whatever. I've got to invest. Whatever I've got to spend, 

I'm happy to. 

Rich Bennett 44:31
So when are you going to write a book? 

Shawn Melis 44:33
My, my, my wife would probably be the better, the better author. 

Rich Bennett 44:36
So when when you were going to encourage your wife to write the book. 

Shawn Melis 44:40
She's got several other projects that she's working on and when she has time. 

No, she's actually. To volunteer with the Bel Air Fire Department as a paramedic. 

Rich Bennett 44:49
A really. 

Shawn Melis 44:50
Yeah, she just got voted in last night. 

Rich Bennett 44:52
We meet. But you guys live in the city. 

Shawn Melis 44:54
We do. Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 44:55
Are you planning to come this way because your businesses are here and that kind of thing? 

Shawn Melis 44:58
Our kids go to. 

Wendy Beck 45:00
Okay. 

Shawn Melis 45:00
So we're not. 

Rich Bennett 45:02
Just drive. 

Shawn Melis 45:02
Drive up here? Yeah, she's. She was trained as a paramedic. It's been a paramedic. Just. We've had kids for the. 

Rich Bennett 45:07
13 years and she. 

Shawn Melis 45:08
She was a stay at home mom and loved it. But now our kids are all in school. And so she just said, Hey, what if I what if I just go volunteer for a day or two a month? Like, just go for it, baby. Like. 

Rich Bennett 45:17
She doesn't want to become a paid. 

Shawn Melis 45:19
She might eventually. But it just it's opportunities like right now it's it's either volunteer if she only has one or two days a month is either. 

Rich Bennett 45:26
The volunteer. 

Shawn Melis 45:26
Hired somewhere that once. 

Rich Bennett 45:27
Right now. 

Wendy Beck 45:30
In case something. 

Shawn Melis 45:30
Versus with the volunteer fire departments. You're on a rotation like once every two weeks, once a month, you're there for 8 hours or 12 hours, and then you come home. 

Rich Bennett 45:39
Now, does your wife like to talk? 

Shawn Melis 45:41
It depends what you're talking about. If you could get her talking about fostering adoption. 

Rich Bennett 45:46
She's a beekeeper. 

Shawn Melis 45:47
In Baltimore City. 

Rich Bennett 45:48
Oh, yeah. 

Wendy Beck 45:48
Wow. A beekeeper in Baltimore City. 

Shawn Melis 45:51
Yeah. Yeah. She's got, I think, over 20 

Rich Bennett 45:53
It's also 

Shawn Melis 45:53
hives right now. 

Rich Bennett 45:54
period. 

Shawn Melis 45:54
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 45:55
That stuff 

Shawn Melis 45:56
So 

Rich Bennett 45:56
to me. 

Shawn Melis 45:56
I told her. I told her, You want to. 

Rich Bennett 45:58
So. Yeah. All right. We'll make that happen. And then I'll because I think you two should start a podcast about false. 

Shawn Melis 46:08
You 

Wendy Beck 46:08
He's 

Shawn Melis 46:08
know 

Wendy Beck 46:08
got 

Shawn Melis 46:08
what? 

Wendy Beck 46:08
you start starting an opera. Writing a book and now having. 

Rich Bennett 46:15
So. 

Shawn Melis 46:15
You know, I've actually had an idea in my head for a long time about starting a podcast in 

Rich Bennett 46:18
Interviewee. 

Shawn Melis 46:18
your. Foster parents about 

Rich Bennett 46:20
Mm. 

Shawn Melis 46:20
their experience, because I think sometimes just hearing the stories of foster parents, it's it's cathartic, a cathartic for them. 

Rich Bennett 46:28
Um 

Shawn Melis 46:29
Tell their story. 

Rich Bennett 46:30
hmm. 

Shawn Melis 46:30
It's healing for them to tell their stories, but it's also super encouraging for first. 

Rich Bennett 46:36
First time, Foster. 

Shawn Melis 46:37
Your parents are. To hear the. 

Wendy Beck 46:39
Yeah, that's that's very true. And it might even encourage. They might be inspiring stories, you know. 

Rich Bennett 46:45
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 46:46
Would be like, Oh, I really always wanted to do this. And 

Shawn Melis 46:48
Yep. 

Wendy Beck 46:48
I never knew how it would feel or, you know, 

Shawn Melis 46:51
Yep. 

Wendy Beck 46:51
it might just open up a new opportunity for kids. 

Rich Bennett 46:54
How many more parents do you know? Do you know? 

Shawn Melis 46:57
We've got we've got a pretty big, pretty big network, but. 

Rich Bennett 47:00
All right. 

Shawn Melis 47:00
As Asians we know and other. 

Rich Bennett 47:02
I'll tell you what. If. If you. 

Shawn Melis 47:05
He's making me a deal right now. 

Rich Bennett 47:06
Yeah. If you and. 

Shawn Melis 47:06
Let's make a deal. 

Rich Bennett 47:07
Because if you and your wife don't want to start podcasts, don't have the time to do it, because it does take a lot of time. If you want to bring any of these parents on and co-host interview. Because you're raising awareness and that's important. 

Shawn Melis 47:22
That's awesome. 

Rich Bennett 47:23
That's important. We. 

Wendy Beck 47:24
Can you give us statistics on kids in the foster system that need homes? I mean, I don't know if you know that and that would be in specific areas or whatever, but like, what do. What do we need to know about this? 

Shawn Melis 47:36
Yeah. So I would say in the U.S. right now, there's about 500,000 kids in foster care. Most kids, if they're in their late teens, they will age out of the system and they'll be emancipated. So. And in some countries, foreign countries that have foster programs as well, it's as young as age seven, where if you had seven in a foreign country and you haven't 

Rich Bennett 47:57
But 

Shawn Melis 47:57
been 

Rich Bennett 47:58
it. 

Shawn Melis 47:58
adopted yet, the chances 

Rich Bennett 47:59
The 

Shawn Melis 47:59
of 

Rich Bennett 47:59
view 

Shawn Melis 47:59
you being 

Rich Bennett 47:59
being 

Shawn Melis 47:59
a. 

Rich Bennett 47:59
adopted. 

Shawn Melis 48:00
A very slim. And it dramatically decreases the older you get By the time if you're in Colombia, for example, when you turn 16, you're emancipated like you're you age out. 

Wendy Beck 48:10
What they do is they open the door and you leave. 

Shawn Melis 48:13
I don't know. I don't know. 

Wendy Beck 48:14
Okay. 

Shawn Melis 48:15
Finance and 

Wendy Beck 48:15
Okay. 

Shawn Melis 48:15
social systems that are in place. But in terms of being involved, 

Rich Bennett 48:18
Foster care. 

Shawn Melis 48:19
you 

Rich Bennett 48:19
You 

Shawn Melis 48:19
are 

Rich Bennett 48:19
are no longer in foster 

Shawn Melis 48:20
strike 

Rich Bennett 48:20
care. 

Shawn Melis 48:20
after 

Rich Bennett 48:20
Yeah. 

Shawn Melis 48:20
see when 

Rich Bennett 48:21
When 

Shawn Melis 48:21
you. 

Rich Bennett 48:21
you hit 16. 

Shawn Melis 48:22
In the States. It's 18 now. You still get Medicaid and other other things. 

Wendy Beck 48:26
Right. 

Shawn Melis 48:27
21. So you're not just left out. 

Wendy Beck 48:30
Gotcha. 

Shawn Melis 48:31
But for the most part, like it's hard when you turn 18 in the States and 

Rich Bennett 48:35
You 

Shawn Melis 48:35
you haven't been adopted or haven't don't 

Rich Bennett 48:36
don't have 

Shawn Melis 48:36
have a 

Rich Bennett 48:37
a. 

Shawn Melis 48:37
forever forever home. 

Rich Bennett 48:38
Mm. 

Shawn Melis 48:39
A forever family. 

I don't know the physics, but my guess is there's not many of those people that thrive. 

Rich Bennett 48:47
Which is another reason why there's so many homeless out there, I believe. 

Shawn Melis 48:51
Yeah, I don't, I don't know the correlation, 

Rich Bennett 48:52
A lot of young homeless people 

Shawn Melis 48:53
but. Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 48:54
out there, which 

Shawn Melis 48:56
And it goes back to a lot of addiction and substance 

Rich Bennett 48:58
suspicious 

Shawn Melis 48:58
abuse issues 

Rich Bennett 48:59
is when 

Shawn Melis 48:59
when 

Rich Bennett 48:59
your 

Shawn Melis 48:59
your parents 

Rich Bennett 48:59
parents are. 

Shawn Melis 49:00
are suffering from those things. 

Rich Bennett 49:01
Mm. Yeah. 

Shawn Melis 49:02
Because it. 

Wendy Beck 49:03
Right. 

Shawn Melis 49:04
It'll come 

Rich Bennett 49:04
Come back down to you 

Shawn Melis 49:05
in 

Rich Bennett 49:05
in 

Shawn Melis 49:05
time 

Rich Bennett 49:05
time 

Shawn Melis 49:06
and. 

Rich Bennett 49:06
and. 

Wendy Beck 49:07
Or are you going to have. Fall into it as well. I mean, it's just a. 

Rich Bennett 49:11
It turns out to. 

Wendy Beck 49:12
To a coping mechanism for some people. And then it, you know, escalates in whatever direction that's going to happen. But yeah, it does. It really opens your heart. And it's just like, gosh, you know, I you know, I don't even. A bedroom or, you know, you kind of like you start thinking like, what are the what are the qualifications to become a foster parent? Like, 

Shawn Melis 49:29
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 49:30
if I wanted to do that in order for County, would I even qualify? 

Shawn Melis 49:33
Yeah. I know. Can you. Do you have love? Like. 

Wendy Beck 49:36
Yes, I do, but. 

Shawn Melis 49:37
And that's just that is if you if you if you have the capacity to love 

Rich Bennett 49:41
Love 

Shawn Melis 49:42
a 

Rich Bennett 49:42
a 

Shawn Melis 49:42
child. 

Rich Bennett 49:42
child. 

Shawn Melis 49:43
And you have. 

And you're 

Rich Bennett 49:47
Your 

Shawn Melis 49:47
not. 

Rich Bennett 49:47
knives are. 

Shawn Melis 49:48
Cabinet and your 

Wendy Beck 49:48
Oh, God. 

Shawn Melis 49:49
drugs are. 

Wendy Beck 49:49
Oh, no. 

Shawn Melis 49:51
It's not that easy to make modifications to your home, though, right? It's 

Wendy Beck 49:54
Right. 

Shawn Melis 49:54
just it's keeping 

Rich Bennett 49:55
Keeping 

Shawn Melis 49:55
the. 

Rich Bennett 49:55
them safe. Yeah, And it's keeping you safe. 

Wendy Beck 49:58
Well. And the other thing is, is like you're you're taking on something that you know, you're going to be responsible for. So you need to be prepared for. 

Shawn Melis 50:04
Yep. 

Wendy Beck 50:04
Emotionally prepared 

Shawn Melis 50:05
Yep. 

Wendy Beck 50:05
for that. Like I'm sitting here, I don't really know you that well, but I can tell, I mean, for you and your wife to do this, you guys have to have your head on your side. 

Rich Bennett 50:13
Yeah. You 

Wendy Beck 50:14
You know 

Rich Bennett 50:14
know 

Wendy Beck 50:14
what 

Rich Bennett 50:14
what 

Wendy Beck 50:14
I 

Rich Bennett 50:14
I 

Wendy Beck 50:14
mean? 

Rich Bennett 50:14
mean? 

Wendy Beck 50:15
And you're smart enough to know that you need a community to help you as well. You couldn't just bring someone in and not have any resources or any community for that. 

Rich Bennett 50:23
And the other thing is to I mean, we've all the ones you fostered, how much have you learned from them? 

Shawn Melis 50:32
So. I would say when I started fostering, I was. 

Rich Bennett 50:35
Was not. 

Wendy Beck 50:36
How old were? 

Shawn Melis 50:38
See, we were 30. So my dad was born 2010. So been 2021. So it's 3132 somewhere. 

Wendy Beck 50:46
Just curious. 

Shawn Melis 50:47
Yeah. 

So I was kind of by the book, kind of a very analytical, linear thinker, like. 

Rich Bennett 50:56
This is the process. 

Shawn Melis 50:57
I 

Rich Bennett 50:58
Mm. 

Shawn Melis 50:58
am not very empathetic, not very compassionate. Like let's. 

Rich Bennett 51:01
Just check boxes and do. 

Shawn Melis 51:04
And I think one of the things that foster. 

Rich Bennett 51:07
Has done for me. 

Shawn Melis 51:07
Just exploded my heart. Like just given me a bigger heart to see. The world is not about me. It's not about me achieving my dreams and my ambitions and my goals and going in the corporate ladder. It's it's so much a life, I should say, so much the blessings in life come from giving, come from. 

Wendy Beck 51:28
Brings it down to a human level. 

Shawn Melis 51:30
Right. It comes from just that, that heart of service. 

Rich Bennett 51:35
This. 

Shawn Melis 51:36
And I think one thing that inspired. Jesus says, I did not come to be 

Wendy Beck 51:41
Be served. 

Shawn Melis 51:41
served. But to serve and 

Rich Bennett 51:43
And 

Shawn Melis 51:43
to 

Rich Bennett 51:43
to 

Shawn Melis 51:43
give. 

Rich Bennett 51:43
give my life as a for that. 

Shawn Melis 51:45
like the fact that Jesus the 

Rich Bennett 51:47
The Son of God. 

Shawn Melis 51:47
odd. 

Rich Bennett 51:48
Mm. 

Shawn Melis 51:48
Came to serve, and that just inspires me. 

Rich Bennett 51:53
Yeah. The same thing. 

Shawn Melis 51:54
Saying that the Son of God left heaven's throne where he was the king to come and be a servant. I can do that too. Like 

Rich Bennett 52:03
Yeah. 

Shawn Melis 52:03
it's okay and. And then just the way my wife and I kind of organize and structure our life is we've just chosen five. 

Rich Bennett 52:08
Foster. 

Shawn Melis 52:09
As a 

Rich Bennett 52:09
The 

Shawn Melis 52:09
way. 

Rich Bennett 52:09
way we're discerning. We are. 

Shawn Melis 52:11
We are surrendering. We are. Christ to just. Love these kids. 

Wendy Beck 52:16
So you you foster still you have a you have your adopted and your biological children and you are fostering as now as well. 

Shawn Melis 52:24
Now because we. 

Wendy Beck 52:24
Oh, that's right. You did say that. 

Rich Bennett 52:26
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 52:26
You said that. 

Shawn Melis 52:26
We would in a heartbeat. We went through every. And we just the county and the city. No, we can't. We can't do that. Couple private agencies said no, we would if we could, but that's why we were doing the Safe Families, because that's not necessarily governed by a cap. 

Audience. It's meant to be an open, non-profit organization. 

Rich Bennett 52:51
Helping the community. 

Shawn Melis 52:52
And so there's I have no rights. I've got no ability to keep 

Rich Bennett 52:55
Keep these 

Shawn Melis 52:55
these. 

Rich Bennett 52:56
cards right. 

Shawn Melis 52:57
Totally voluntary by the parent as well as us. 

Wendy Beck 52:59
Gotcha. 

Shawn Melis 53:00
If for whatever reason, if the 

Rich Bennett 53:02
The 

Shawn Melis 53:02
kids 

Rich Bennett 53:02
kids are. 

Shawn Melis 53:02
are not some that we think we can handle, we can always say to them, Mom, I'm sorry, we. 

Rich Bennett 53:07
We'll have to. 

Shawn Melis 53:07
The capacity. 

Wendy Beck 53:08
Does that happen? 

Shawn Melis 53:09
I'm. Um. 

Wendy Beck 53:11
Does that happen to you guys? 

Shawn Melis 53:12
For us. We haven't know. Like we've we've kind of seen it all. 

Wendy Beck 53:16
I could imagine. 

Shawn Melis 53:17
So it takes a lot for us to say that we can't we can't do this anymore. But we haven't yet. So by the grace of God, it just every day. One day at a time. But it comes back to a word. I'm not really. 

Rich Bennett 53:33
Like. 

Shawn Melis 53:33
I couldn't do what I do right now if I wasn't self-employed. If I was working 9 to 5. I can just tell my boss. 

Rich Bennett 53:41
2:00. 

Shawn Melis 53:42
Before meeting. Hey, I. I got to go home. 

Rich Bennett 53:44
You probably 

Shawn Melis 53:45
He 

Rich Bennett 53:45
wouldn't 

Shawn Melis 53:45
he 

Rich Bennett 53:45
have. 

Shawn Melis 53:45
would he or she. Yes. Right. 

Rich Bennett 53:48
Yeah. 

Shawn Melis 53:48
And three times last week. 

I just. 

Rich Bennett 53:53
Corporate America really doesn't care about fame. 

Shawn Melis 53:56
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 53:56
Unfortunately. I mean, there are some businesses out there. 

Wendy Beck 53:59
They just don't have the flexibility that. No, I'm not defending them, but they need their employees at a certain time. 

Rich Bennett 54:05
Um. Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 54:06
Earned service to be available on the phone for whatever it is. And so I get that 

Shawn Melis 54:11
As 

Wendy Beck 54:11
as well. 

Shawn Melis 54:11
well. 

Wendy Beck 54:12
And it was it's hard like, you know, having a job in corporate America 

Shawn Melis 54:16
So 

Wendy Beck 54:16
when 

Shawn Melis 54:16
when you're 

Wendy Beck 54:16
you're just 

Shawn Melis 54:16
just looking. 

Wendy Beck 54:16
a parent in general and, you know, you've got. You miss this activity? Of these things, so I got it. 

Shawn Melis 54:23
True. Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 54:24
I mean, I was one of those parent in it and having a daughter. 

Rich Bennett 54:28
That was. 

Wendy Beck 54:29
You know, actively in addiction. Like, I don't even I don't even know how I did it, to be honest. Like, I would sometimes feel like I don't even know how I got here. And have function at this job because my brain was somewhere else. And, you know, so at the time I had a really great boss and, you know. Very understanding in that. And I still do my job to the capacity that I needed to. But I can see how there's a lot more rigid guidelines for other companies and they don't. Such thing. If they need someone to be on that forklift moving that those boxes from the side to that side, there's not any there's no other option. 

Shawn Melis 55:07
Forklift operator in the. 

Wendy Beck 55:08
Yeah, exactly. 

Shawn Melis 55:09
Got to do it. 

Wendy Beck 55:09
He's got 

Shawn Melis 55:10
He's 

Wendy Beck 55:10
it 

Shawn Melis 55:10
got to do it. 

Wendy Beck 55:10
right. 

Rich Bennett 55:11
Right. Do you have any more questions for Sean before I get to his, uh, to the last question for. 

Wendy Beck 55:17
No, I don't think so. 

Rich Bennett 55:19
As far as your last question is if you want to. 

Shawn Melis 55:22
No, this has been awesome. Thank you for letting me share my story again. This has been really cool. 

Rich Bennett 55:26
Tell everybody why it is so important for them to foster and or adopt kids. 

Shawn Melis 55:35
There's 5000 kids in foster care. These kids need a home. These kids need a loving, nurturing home. And just about anybody can provide that single mom. Single dad. 

Rich Bennett 55:46
That's. 

Shawn Melis 55:47
Families. Unorthodox families like these kids need homes. And you can make a transformational, lifelong difference in these kids lives by just bringing them into your home. Some of these kids just want they want a home to come back to when they're in college. They're 17, getting ready each other system and they just want a home. They just they just want that that feeling of emotional support as they go make life choices, as they go start a career or as they go to college. For the younger ones. They just want to play baseball. They just want to go play. 

Wendy Beck 56:20
Yeah. They don't want the hard stuff. They want to be able 

Shawn Melis 56:22
They 

Wendy Beck 56:22
to 

Shawn Melis 56:22
just. 

Wendy Beck 56:22
just live. 

Shawn Melis 56:23
Yeah. They just they want, they want some peace from just the. 

Wendy Beck 56:27
Age appropriate activities and that type of thing, 

Shawn Melis 56:30
Yep. 

Wendy Beck 56:30
where they're not thrown into an adult world or are being 

Shawn Melis 56:32
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 56:32
neglected and. It's sad. 

Shawn Melis 56:36
And it. 

Rich Bennett 56:37
Thank you, sir. 

Shawn Melis 56:38
Two has been awesome.