Rand Selig's Roadmap to a Healthier, Happier, and Prosperous Life

Rich Bennett 0:00
Thanks to join in the conversation where we explore the stories and experiences that shape our world. I'm your host, Rich Bennett. Today, we're thrilled to have Rand sailing with us. Rand is a seasoned entrepreneur. Conservationist and acclaimed author of the transformative book Thriving How to Create a Healthier, Happier and More Prosperous Life. This book, Ran, explores the potent choices we had in crafting a purposeful life with an MBA from Stanford and decades of wisdom. He's here to share invaluable insights on thriving through various life changes or life stages. Rand, thank you for joining us today. It's an absolute, absolute pleasure to have you on the show. 

Rand Selig 0:43
Hey, Rich. It's great to be here. 

Rich Bennett 0:45
So those of you that are listening, it's 1030 here, my time when I'm recording, But we're really it's what, 730? No, 730? 

Rand Selig 0:56
Yes. 

Rich Bennett 0:57
And he's sitting on his desk, beautiful sunshine and everything, but just looking at him. Even though you all can't see us, I feel like I just woke up and, you know, Thumbtack is I feel like I haven't had my coffee yet. 

So. Oh, man, I should. I should have just poured another cup of coffee. Soraya, before before we get into the book and everything. Tell everybody a little bit about yourself, because if I'm not mistaken, this is your first book, correct? 

Rand Selig 1:28
It is my first book, and I got to say it's been a fantastic adventure. I have been a reader since I was a little kid. This is one of my fantastic gifts from a mom. She is an avid reader. She's still with us. She's 98, doesn't read anymore because she's got macular degeneration. But I learned from that from her. And so I been a big reader my whole life, and I don't know how many thousands of books, but, 

Rich Bennett 1:55
Mm hmm. 

Rand Selig 1:56
you know, to pull a screen back and to understand what's behind what it takes to write a good book and to get it edited and to to get it published and then to market it. This was all I never really thought about it. And 

Rich Bennett 2:11
Right. 

Rand Selig 2:11
so this has been a very, very fascinating adventure. I've enjoyed every step of the way the book is doing extremely well because it is so important for so many people. So I'm delighted. 

Rich Bennett 2:25
I know it's doing well. If you look at Amazon on the charts now, again, those of you listening, this is today is May 10th and I believe in the charts. All right. So work life balance in business number 167, which is awesome Time management 730 popular applied psychologist psychology number 822. That is freaking awesome. 

Rand Selig 2:50
Well, those are probably the paperback. If you go to the e-book you see in 

Rich Bennett 2:55
Oh. 

Rand Selig 2:55
the in the fifties. Yeah, 

Rich Bennett 2:58
Why? 

Rand Selig 2:59
yeah, yeah. It's and this is a book that's been out there for since the fall, so I'm very, very pleased. 

Rich Bennett 3:06
Oh, my gosh. You know what? You. Wow. Okay. I didn't re I'm glad you pointed that out because I didn't realize there was a difference. 

Rand Selig 3:15
Yeah, 

Rich Bennett 3:16
So 

Rand Selig 3:16
well, it's. 

Rich Bennett 3:17
we're both wrong. 

Rand Selig 3:21
The book is there on Amazon in three formats 

Rich Bennett 3:26
Right. 

Rand Selig 3:26
the e-book, the paperback, the hardback on all the other platforms, the Barnes and Noble, the Ingram Spark folks. It's just in the paperback format. But coming this summer, I'll have an audio book and. 

Rich Bennett 3:41
Nice. 

Rand Selig 3:42
Excited about that because I know some people read a book by listening to it. 

Rich Bennett 3:46
Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Which is one of my favorite ways. So. But, uh, and believe it or not, you and I are both wrong. It's not for for the Kindle book. It's not fifties. You ready for this? 

Rand Selig 3:58
US. 

Rich Bennett 3:59
Good thing you're sitting down. Number four in health and spirituality. Number six in conduct of life and spirituality. And number nine in New Age self-help. 

Rand Selig 4:11
Oh, my. 

Rich Bennett 4:13
That is freaking amazing. 

Rand Selig 4:16
Thanks for telling me. It's. That's. That is a gift. 

Rich Bennett 4:20
Oh, God. 

Rand Selig 4:21
Very 

Rich Bennett 4:21
That. 

Rand Selig 4:21
exciting. 

Rich Bennett 4:21
Congratulations. 

Rand Selig 4:22
Thank you. Thank you. Well. Well, it's one thing to have really good numbers in the first month or two because you've been pumping and you a may have had a launch team that's, you know, a lot of people, you know. Well, now with over 205 star reviews from a variety of your reviews sites, including, of course, Amazon, this this is this is, you know, the vast majority of people I have no idea who they are. And they're. 

Rich Bennett 4:54
Right. 

Rand Selig 4:55
Marvelous things I had. I had a review come in a little while back and said, This book is for everybody, whether you're aged six or 96. I'm a professional golfer, and I was reaching into my golf club with fear and trepidation until I read Rand's book, Thriving. And now my golf game has improved a huge amount because I'm no longer approaching it that way. I'm not fearful. I'm embracing life, and I can't wait to find out what in other ways, this book is going to help me. 

Rich Bennett 5:28
And I love that because here's the thing, and I tell my listeners this all the time, when you purchase a book 

after you read it, leave a full review and you have a. Well, you just say you have a ton of reviews. And from well, you said, just a professional golfer, people of all stages of life. And those four reviews help a big you know, a lot because it's pushing the algorithms, especially on Amazon. More people are seeing it. It's selling so well. Yeah. Hey, you are a true author preneur. 

Rand Selig 6:09
Thank you, Rich. And and thanks for. For recommending that people write reviews. Some people say oh there's there's a lot of reviews there already. And you know what I'd say is probably. 

Rich Bennett 6:20
Keep writing 

Rand Selig 6:21
Different 

Rich Bennett 6:21
on. 

Rand Selig 6:21
than somebody else's. But it's not true. It it you're right about the algorithms. You know, we're living in a world where it's all analytics and it just keeps keep something important in front of people's eyes. And so, yes, thank you for your listeners. If you if you like my book and and you please, please do write a review, that'd be great. I very much appreciate it. 

Rich Bennett 6:45
And those of you listening, even if you've read the book? Well, after you read the book, if it touches you, 

buy it for other people. That's that's something I'm sure it's something I love to do. And the first book I ever did that with was Tuesdays with Morrie. 

Rand Selig 7:04
Oh, yeah. 

Rich Bennett 7:05
Bob Mitchum, because that changed my life. And I when my mother was going through cancer, she read it and it just you could see the smile come across her face. That book that that book alone made its rounds to everybody. And finally I said, I'm just buying more copies and I've done it ever since then. If it's a good book and if if I know it's going to help me or if it's a good story, I'll buy it for other people. 

Rand Selig 7:33
That's a kindness. That's a kindness. It is a real gift that makes 

Rich Bennett 7:37
Yeah. 

Rand Selig 7:37
it a real gift. Yeah, it's true. You know, one of the things I want to say that people have responded to very well about my book is I've read and in the appendix I say at the very beginning of my book, Don't be like me. Do read the appendix in this appendix. And in addition, of course, they're like 200 citations, because this is a nonfiction book. And there are other people, a lot of research and other folks that I've referred to, and I want to give them due credit. But then there's another section, which is books by chapter author. These are books that I've read that really influenced me, just like you're saying this Mornings with Morrie. And there's a paragraph about each of these books. And so you can read those paragraphs and say, okay, I'm satisfied I learned that, or maybe even skip a whole chapter of, you know, it's only three or four books per year per chapter. But then you say, No, I want more than just that one paragraph that ran wrote. I want to read the whole book. And so people have said, this is so valuable to take that deeper plunge into a book that, you know, I respect, you know, and I see how it impacted you greatly and you put it in your book. Then I want to I want to take it seriously. 

Rich Bennett 9:00
I was looking at that because you have the selected quotes by chapter and you have one from one of my favorites that I actually was able to have breakfast with, and that's Zig Ziglar. 

Rand Selig 9:11
Did you really? 

Rich Bennett 9:13
Yes. 

Rand Selig 9:13
Oh, my gosh. I think so. Fondly of zigs. In fact, in my. 

Rich Bennett 9:18
I loved him. 

Rand Selig 9:20
I'm running around, of course, besides doing podcasts, doing in-person stuff. And sometimes I say to people, What kind of person do you want to be? Do you want to be a Zigi? And they look at me. What are you talking with the Ziggy, I say. I'm referring to the great Zig Ziglar. He was a fantastic motivational speaker who passed away about a dozen years ago. And his this quote that I want to tell you about to help you become this great person is would. How's it go, Rick? 

Rich Bennett 9:55
You talk about building for building character. 

Rand Selig 9:57
No, it's. It's the one where live in such a way. Yeah, here it is. 

Rich Bennett 10:03
Yeah. Yeah. They're building character. 

Rand Selig 10:04
Yes. 

Rich Bennett 10:05
such a way that if someone spoke badly about you, no one would believe it. 

Rand Selig 10:10
Emphasize, no one would believe it. Think about being that person. Oh, my gosh. In fact, people look at me and I say, you know, that that's the kind of person I think I am now. But 20, 30 years ago, no. In fact, if people said something bad about me, I'd probably have to agree with. 

Rich Bennett 10:30
That's somebody I've always looked up to was Zig Ziglar. Well, besides my. Yeah, my brother, my parents and, you know, my siblings. But Zig Ziglar and somebody else that I really looked up to. And a lot of people don't understand his story completely. And that was Sam Walton. 

Rand Selig 10:51
Oh, interesting. 

Rich Bennett 10:51
Wal-Mart 

Rand Selig 10:52
Oh, interesting. 

Rich Bennett 10:53
is. 

Rand Selig 10:53
Mm hmm. 

Rich Bennett 10:54
Even when he was at one point. He was what? One of the richest men, I think, in the world. And still drove around in that rusty old pickup truck. I believe he still lived in the rancher. I but I keep in mind, back then, he believed this, sharing the profits with the employees, too. You know, unfortunately, Pierce, a lot of that had changed. I think his biggest the biggest thing he spent money on was his Cessna airplane. 

Rand Selig 11:24
Oh, interesting. 

Rich Bennett 11:26
Too far. Yeah, but that's somebody he just his saying, I guess his belief was it doesn't matter how much money you have, you don't need to show it off live, you know, live comfortably and share it with others, you know? And that's something I've always believed. If I see somebody that I know needs the money more than I do, I'm going to pass it on to them. 

Rand Selig 11:51
Well, you know, in I think in our society, we struggle around who are our heroes? And we often see somebody we really enjoyed because they made a good movie. But then now they're being interviewed about something unrelated to their their movie career. And I'm thinking, 

Rich Bennett 12:09
Yeah. 

Rand Selig 12:10
you know, everybody knows who they are, but why is their opinion important? We're also very confused, very confused in our society about what is success. And I talk about this a lot in my book, is you have to define success your way, be your own person. And because I in my career, I've met a lot of people who've done very well financially. But are they successful, in my view? Absolutely not. Why? Because they all around them are failed relationships. They're really not happy and in many cases have not taken care of themselves physically or emotionally. So, yeah, they got a huge stack of coins piled up. But are they successful? In my opinion, no. You got to you got to cover a lot of ground to really have an integrated life and be thriving and successful in all those ways. 

Rich Bennett 13:05
Actually, in your book, you actually discuss the concept of living a full potential life. So can you share a personal experience that led you to embrace that philosophy? 

Rand Selig 13:20
Well, there there are many. I must must speak to gratitude for the life, the life I've had. It's. It's important to be grateful. And it's. It's important to. To count. To actually count the blessings. You know, you take stock and say, here's what's going on in how how I got here. Jane Goodall says when you see a turtle on top of a telephone pole, you know, it did not get there by itself. And, you know, I picked my parents. Well, my dad just turned 102. Mom's 90. 

Rich Bennett 13:59
Really? 

Rand Selig 14:00
It's it's astounding there. They've declined a lot, but they are still with us. And the gifts they gave me. Mom taught me to read. Mom taught me to love nature. Dad taught me discipline and moral compass. These are things that are bedrock to who who I started off with. And then I created my own person making key decisions about what to focus on, whether that's how I spend my time, what kind of career I wanted to have, who I wanted to associate with, what a dad's lessons was, have friends of all ages. And I saw that it wasn't just lip service. He he has people who are half his age well, now still 50 years old. So they're not spring chickens, but they're calling up. They want to come talk to them. They want to hear more about who he is or how he thinks about the world. So so I began crafting a life that because I do a lot of thinking about who I am. I do a self-assessment started that early, and then I refresh it periodically because I'm changing and the world around us is changing. That that work is invaluable to me, creating at the compass for the kind of way I want to live life. And 

I have to say, I am thriving because I'm thriving in the four dimensions I talk about in my book. 

Rich Bennett 15:44
And I love the fact that your father mentioned about, you know, having friends, different ages. I'll never forget while, oh, my gosh, 25 years ago, 25, 25 years ago, I joined our local Lions Club. And at that time, the average age of everybody in the club was probably. 72, I guess. 

Rand Selig 16:11
But. 

Rich Bennett 16:11
But all these all these men that were in the club, I remember as a kid, you know, there were they were two ones coach of football and baseball and all that. And we always referred to them as, you know, Mr. Keith, Mr. Mel, whatever. Well, when me and my brother joined the first meeting. I'll never forget this. I left my tail off. So we said, Hey, Mr. Keith, how you doing? We get yelled at. You're like, Oh, no, no, no, no. You dropped that. Mr.. You refer to us as either Keith or Lion Keith. Oh, okay. But. But we became good friends. 

Rand Selig 16:48
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 16:48
Yeah. 

Rand Selig 16:49
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 16:49
And still to this day and now. So I got a very good friend of mine. Well, he turned 40 and I just got. We just got new neighbors, which are in their early thirties. We're becoming good friends. And I think the I think the importance of that out of your father's thought this way or not, he probably did it 102. He probably did think this way. It helps you feel young still. 

Rand Selig 17:17
Yeah, I aren't sure that's the case for Dallas, and I'm not sure it's the case for me because I also have friends. I have people who are in their nineties who are friends and I have people who are they're actually 

sons and daughters of friends of mine who have become 

Rich Bennett 17:35
Yeah. 

Rand Selig 17:35
friends. So they're in their thirties. And I think I think what it why it's so valuable in general and why I think it's valid for me personally is because it keeps me aware of things going on that I'm not ordinarily watching. There's different ways of different words that people are using 

Rich Bennett 17:59
Yeah. 

Rand Selig 17:59
different ages, 

Rich Bennett 18:00
Oh, 

Rand Selig 18:00
different 

Rich Bennett 18:00
yeah. 

Rand Selig 18:01
ways they're holding and framing things. You know, I'm I'm I'm listening in a different way. I'm asking different questions. And they're, of course, engaging with me in a slightly different way. And all of that is about vitality and 

Rich Bennett 18:18
Yeah. 

Rand Selig 18:18
bring it on. 

Rich Bennett 18:20
We can all learn from each other. 

Rand Selig 18:21
Yes. 

Rich Bennett 18:22
Yeah. Yeah. I'm still getting used to the way they talk. It's like my daughter a lot of times will be like BWB. I'm like, Huh? She gave BWB because she's going to. What is BWB? Well, then we get into a whole nother conversation about what this acronym means. Should be right Baghdad or be RB. Be right back. As like it's the same amount of syllables you can just separate. 

Rand Selig 18:46
And a whole conversation about what's. 

Rich Bennett 18:47
Yeah. So you waste more time is like it's actually something else you mentioned, which I hate to say, I think is is missing a lot. But if you can, I want you to touch on it. And I think it's very important. Age doesn't matter, but 

when 

throughout your life, throughout your day, it's very important. Time management. 

Rand Selig 19:16
Yes. Yes. 

Rich Bennett 19:17
I don't think a lot of I don't even know if it's taught in school anymore, to be honest. 

Rand Selig 19:21
Yeah, 

one of one of the books I refer to it in the back of the book is a book called Essentialism. Essentialism. It's an author, Greg McCown. And the subtitle tells you a lot. He says it's the disciplined pursuit of less. So what you're doing is you're saying, look, I've got on the list of things to do. 25 things. Well, if I do all 25, I'm not going to do much with any one of them. So I've got to really look hard at what my priorities are. And I got to focus on the most important, the essential things. So one of the one of the things that I highly recommend, I mean, I've been coaching and mentoring and of course guiding clients for decades is is around this idea of doing a lot of planning. 

I in my case, I actually start the year in January with what is coming up for the year. Now that includes some trips and I sort of part something okay, it's summer, let's go here and so on, so forth. But there's a lot of other things about the planning this year. I mean, okay, April, tax season, what what what needs to happen on the House. You know, so I put it on the schedule and I can move it around a little bit. But but I don't jumble it. And then I go back to my schedule at various times, you know, maybe monthly. But to make sure that I'm not missing something. And in some cases I think to myself, oh, I was fired in a fall, but actually I have space, I have capacity now. I'm going to do it now. I feel like doing it now. So I start with the annual thing. Which grounds me. Then I create a monthly plan and from there I a weekly plan and then a daily plan. And the daily plan actually starts tonight before. So, you know, last night, you know, I wrote down what what my day Friday's going to be all about. And I said, Oh, great podcast coming up with Rich at 730 my time. So I ordinarily get up early. Anyway, I said, Well, I got to get up a little extra early because I want to, you know, do a little stretching and drink some water and do some other stuff so that Rich and I can have a great conversation. 

Rich Bennett 21:46
Although he did forget to email me and say, Reg, remember, have a cup of coffee ready because you're going to feel like you're you just woke up. I'm joking. 

Rand Selig 21:55
I should have added another 5 minutes to my. Ha ha. Yeah. So when I do that, my gosh, one, nothing gets left off. But it also allows me to be a little more aware how long something's going to take me. You know, it's not just the drive from here to there. Ordinarily, it takes 25 minutes, but it's now the middle of the day. A rush hour. I better add some extra time into it. 

Rich Bennett 22:24
Yes. 

Rand Selig 22:24
You know these things. So my time management gets gets really good. And of course, we have devices now that tell us you can look and say, oh, it's going to take me. So many minutes to get get there. And I should leave. I should leave in 5 minutes rather than wait 15 minutes and then be late. So. So you're right. Rich. Thanks for bringing that up. Time management is a is a really key thing. And and being on time is being very respectful. 

Rich Bennett 22:57
Yeah. 

Rand Selig 22:57
You know, Yes. You can text somebody, say, hey, I'm running a few minutes late and people are going to be forgiving about that for the most part. But. 

Rich Bennett 23:08
If you do it all the time, though. 

Rand Selig 23:09
That's right. That. That. That's right. 

Rich Bennett 23:12
One of the things that I was always taught and my father told me this when it came to work, go into work, he said, If you're not at least 15 minutes early, you're late. And no matter where I worked at, I was it seemed like I was always the first one there, to the point where a couple of places just would start giving me the keys to open up in the morning. 

Rand Selig 23:33
Nice. Nice. 

Rich Bennett 23:34
Yeah, but it's you don't see that today. You see today a lot of these, especially the younger people and even some older people, if they had to start work at eight, they'll get there at eight. And then and then, you know, if the boss is saying, well, why are you getting a cup of coffee? Why are you doing this? You should be. Shouldn't that work it? Why? I just got here. Well, that's one of the reasons you get to work early. You know, you do your stuff before you start your work to get in to the swing of it all. And I've always found, at least for me, if I got to work early and I was able to get that stuff out of the way, the day would go by so much faster because I was prepared. I wasn't walking in, getting hit with a bunch of stuff already. And it just it made it go so much easier. And believe it or not, a lot of a lot of those days I was able to leave early because everything was done. 

Rand Selig 24:34
Yeah. When I was a little League coach and also scoutmaster, I would say, look, you can be. There is no such thing as being on time. You're either you're early or you're late. And that's a choice. That's another choice you make. So, I mean, if you're a little kid, maybe it's it's about whoever got you to to there. You didn't you didn't get there on your own. You're on wheels. But, you know, so much of life is you're making choices around things like, am I going to be on time? And there's a section in my very first chapter of this book, which is about building character. And it's it's the ten things that John Gordon, who's a great motivational coach, he's kind of, in my view, the Zig Ziglar of our current current world. And he says, Here's the ten things you can do, and I'm just going to read the first one. This is number one. Be on time, respect 

Rich Bennett 25:32
Yeah. 

Rand Selig 25:32
others by being punctual as showing up on time shows that you value the other person's time. And this can help earn you respect in turn. 

Rich Bennett 25:45
Yes. Yes. Which is something that's lacking nowadays, too, is the respect. Well, unfortunately, a lot of people don't respect themselves either. But back to, you know, with choices, because you emphasize the importance of making key choices to thrive. So can you give us an example of a pivotal choice in your life that significantly altered your path 

Rand Selig 26:10
Yeah. This is the central theme of this book is that we have enormous power to make choices about how to spend our time and what to work on and even our feelings. So yeah, that, that's, that's a key thing to come to. I chronicled choices, decisions that I've made, and, and I'm very clear now that I've made all sorts of really good choices in my life. But the three best are Mary, my wife. We've been married 43 years now. I've been together 45. 

Rich Bennett 26:45
completion? 

Rand Selig 26:46
There's a lot there's a lot to that. Let me tell you, she's fantastic 

Rich Bennett 26:50
Yeah. 

Rand Selig 26:50
and we're very different, which when we're working smoothly, we're contributing. And one of mine becomes three when we're struggling one and one is less than two, but we get through that and and that's that's just fantastic. So that was choice number one and choice number two was starting my own company. It takes a lot of discipline, a huge amount of discipline, you got to say, like pushing away from the dinner table. You know, I know I need to stop now. I need to rest. I need to go take care of myself, take a walk or, you know, have a bite, eat or that cup of coffee. I denied you this morning, right? Yeah. You know, so. So the choice number to starting my own company and based on a set of principles. So I knew myself well enough. I'd been in the investment banking business ten years already, so I knew what I was doing. But I also knew what was important to me. So I set up my company based on those principles. And then the third was the choice of where to live. And, you know, people, people a lot of people, you know, feel that choice. They go off to some experience, the military or, you know, college or whatever it is. And then they say, am I going to go back home where I grew up? And if if you like it there and you have lots of friends and family, well, that could be a great choice. But a lot of people were a very mobile society. 

Rich Bennett 28:21
Yeah, 

Rand Selig 28:21
You see a lot of people who the family, they're taking the plane trip back to the family for a holiday because it's hours, it's 4 hours away or something like that. And they're living there in a very different place. And so that was that was a choice we made. My wife and I, we decided we wanted to live in northern California. We wanted to live in this town where we could raise our kids and, B, just open the front door and walk out into nature. It's really important 

Rich Bennett 28:51
right. 

Rand Selig 28:52
for us. 

Rich Bennett 28:54
And talking about marriage because you advocate for strong relationships and emotional health. So what are some common obstacles people face in these areas and how can they overcome them? 

Rand Selig 29:08
This is a juicy, juicy, juicy topic. I am 

Rich Bennett 29:13
Mm. 

Rand Selig 29:14
routinely surprised at you and I don't have this problem, but I think a lot of a lot of men do. They don't have friendships. 

Rich Bennett 29:23
Yeah. 

Rand Selig 29:24
If it's a friendship, it's a very casual one. You know, they get together and they have a beer or they they talk sports. But the kind of friendship I'm talking about, deep and enduring relationships are where you can talk about stuff that's really important to you, stuff that's really bothering you, stuff that keeps you up at night, or maybe you're at a transition point and you're saying, I just am not really sure about this. And if you have that kind of friendship, they'll give you feedback. You say, Hey, Rich, you know, I'm here and you be worried about that. And I think you need to focus and get it right and be prepared. But you are completely capable, and I'm here to support you. So you want to have those kind of relationships. You want to build them there. I talk about in my book a ladder of of how to build forward step by step into a deeper relationship where you become more vulnerable. You. 

Rich Bennett 30:20
Yeah. 

Rand Selig 30:21
See so many cases where you just go back to the same people. You know, there's 40 people in the room and you go back to the person you know. Now maybe you're a little bit shy. I understand that. I used to be a I used to be a little bit on the show side. 

Rich Bennett 30:37
I was, too. 

Rand Selig 30:38
That's long gone. That's long gone. But. But. Yeah, but no. Branch I'll meet some new people. And then. And then if you see a little spark there, then. Then keep come back and ask better questions, invest in them. And just because they said they did such and such doesn't mean you have to tell your story about it. Ask another question about it. They'll come back to you at the right time and say, Hey, it seemed like you were interested in that. Have you had some experience like that? And then a your turn. 

Rich Bennett 31:09
Right? 

Rand Selig 31:09
So. 

Rich Bennett 31:10
Yeah. 

Rand Selig 31:11
So this bill. 

Rich Bennett 31:11
No, go ahead. 

Rand Selig 31:12
Ships are a huge part of life. This is part of the recipe for being successful in my absolute 100% clarity about that. 

Rich Bennett 31:23
I thank the Marine Corps. For me being able to do that because, you know, when I was in the Marines, you always hear how it's a brotherhood. Any branch. But the Marines, especially to this day, you know, there are some of us that serve together and we can still call each other at the drop of a dime. And, you know, if we have problems, we'll talk about it. If we have things to celebrate, we can talk about it. And I'm seeing that now with because it used to be if I had anything going on, any problems, the only person I could talk to was my older brother, oldest brother. 

But I learned how to talk to other people. I don't think you learn how to talk. You learn to trust. 

Rand Selig 32:13
Good. 

Rich Bennett 32:14
More people. 

Rand Selig 32:14
Good. 

Rich Bennett 32:15
Like I was telling you about some of my friends earlier, you know, and even some of my neighbors. I trust them. I could talk to them. I can tell them my problems. One of the things I love about doing this, you know, the podcasting, I get people on all the time that, you know, especially when he comes into, you know, mental health and addiction recovery. I feel their trust in me to tell me the problems they went through. And I am always willing to listen and then I'll know when to talk. But I think listening is the key point there, too, because there are sometimes times. People just want you to listen. You don't have to say anything in return, but you need to listen. I can't tell you how many times my wife will come home from work and she'll just vent. And there's a lot of times you know about her. A lot of times I know. I don't have a clue what the hell she's talking about, but I'm going to listen to her. You should be a punching bag for. But she hits hard now. 

Rand Selig 33:22
Well, I like what you're saying, Richard. I completely agree with that. And I would add one more thing that that goes along with that. The trust part is being willing to be vulnerable. 

Rich Bennett 33:36
Yeah. 

Rand Selig 33:37
I woke up honest about ten, 12 years ago, and I said, well, the life I've built, the life I've designed for myself is a fantastic life. But what could make it even better? Push myself a little bit, I said, are having a couple of more deeper friendships. So I look through my list of friends, people I've known for a long time. I said, I'm going to pick six of them. I'm going to go to them. I'm going to be vulnerable because they see me as this strong person who's, you know, got the feet under under myself and know what I'm doing. But I'm going to start sharing with them some things I'm not sure about things that are bothering me and I knew that there was a possibility that, you know, some of them may not it may not move the needle. They may not have changed anything. But I did not worry that anybody would say, oh, there's Rand there in California is a nut flake. He's he's weird. We're going to cut him off altogether. I didn't. 

Rich Bennett 34:39
Yeah. 

Rand Selig 34:39
For a moment, and I'm very pleased to say five out of six of these friends, they happen to all be males. But I do have female friends, too. They all step forward, five out of six step forward, and they began. 

Listening to what I had to say, and they began sharing their own arenas of vulnerability. And boy, talk about the relationship getting deeper. Wow. That was that was just so key. 

One more little piece of this that I think is just very fascinating. I am a problem solver and my mind is built that way. The work I do is about that kind of thing. But often in a conversation, that's not what's being required. It's back to what you said. It's about listening and then asking another question. So just you get it. And sometimes there's a kind of what's called active listening, you have to say. What I'm hearing is this and this and this. Did I get that right or am I missing something? Especially if there's a lot of emotional content. It's not about you saying, Oh, dear, you came home and you know, you've been venting for 5 minutes. Have you thought about doing this or. You know, what I'd recommend to you is that that's not that's not what's being required right now. And actually that can push them away. They said that's not. No, I don't I don't want to hear that. I want to vent. 

Rich Bennett 36:12
Oh, yeah. Well, you see that a lot when you're talking to somebody that has anxiety or depression, because a lot of times you've got to be careful what you say, too. And that's where you know that that lending an ear comes in. I also think and it's, you know, with the relationships and the listening and everything and all the different age groups of friends. And we we touched on this briefly, but you can learn so much. And which is another reason I love doing these because it never fails. Every guest I've had on, you know, I'm already I'm today I learn something new. And if I'm learning something new, I know my listeners are. And I think that's very important as well. You listen depending on the conversation. Listen to help, Listen to learn and listen. Because something you mentioned about your problem solver. I love challenges. Listen to come up with a solution if you can. 

Rand Selig 37:19
Well it would be no surprise to to you referenced and I don't think your listeners either, that there's a study that was done a bunch of years ago that there are seven personal qualities that lead to life satisfaction and achievement. And one of those is being curious. One of those seven is being curious. I talk about that also in chapter one, this building character. Why? Why is being curious so important? One, it makes life a lot more fun. 

Rich Bennett 37:49
Yes. 

Rand Selig 37:49
You think about something, you did some adventure you took. Maybe it was a vacation or something. You went someplace you've never been before, where you're you're learning new stuff. Here. You're. Wow, This is these people are dressed differently. They're they're moving about in a different way than we do back home. There. Maybe they're speaking with a different accent or or a different language. The way they built their their houses and their buildings. Very different. You know, you're curious. You just get makes it fun. I think if if you say why was that trip fun? It some of that boils back to being curious about things and being curious. There's another big bonus to being curious. It helps with conflict resolution. So you're having you're in a conversation, somebody and they're saying something and you really disagree with that. So, you know, the world we're living in, that's not too hard to do. So so you can get in there and get into a debate, which is a win lose. I'm right, you're wrong kind of thing that I got to say, that's probably not going to go very far. But if instead you sort of pull yourself away from that and you say, I'm going to be curious about this, I'm not going to cut off the conversation right now, but I'm going to ask questions. I'm curious, Rich, why did you say that? I've never thought that myself, but tell me more. And you do it genuinely with sincerity. Then the personal open up doesn't mean you have to change your view, but you actually might learn something. You certainly might learn something about that person and why they're, you know, where they're coming from, why they're saying that. And so it immediately takes away that incredible pressure that you have about this this conflict, and it preserves the relationship. 

Rich Bennett 39:44
Oh, absolutely. And that's something I've you know, I've talked about before because 

my my daughter was like this. She says, I don't want to debate. I don't want to debate. And I think that's the problem. A lot of people think you see it all the time, especially when it comes to political views, world views, everything going on in the media. They think you want to have a debate. No, I want to have a conversation because. 

Rand Selig 40:11
Yes. 

Rich Bennett 40:12
The way things are changing. You could teach me something. I mean, I know about and vice versa. But if we don't have these conversations, then things aren't going to get better. They're going to get worse. And we need. 

Rand Selig 40:28
That. There's a huge distinction between the debate versus the dialogue, 

Rich Bennett 40:34
Mm. 

Rand Selig 40:35
and there's some good books about that. And, you know, it can boil down to some very simple things, but the debate is the right or wrong. 

Rich Bennett 40:43
Yeah. 

Rand Selig 40:44
And and I'm going to prove to you that I'm right. Whereas the dialogues let's let's find our common ground. 

Rich Bennett 40:50
Yeah. 

Rand Selig 40:51
What is that? What is it that we And then once you have some common ground, then you can start working together to come up with some kind of maybe a solution. If it's a personal situation or a local situation, and if it's even bigger on the world scene, maybe you have some ideas that together or you can create. Which which, you know, is important to do. 

Rich Bennett 41:16
Yeah. You never know. Those two people sitting there having that conversation may come up with something to change the world for the better. 

Rand Selig 41:26
Could be. 

Rich Bennett 41:26
So actually, what's been one of the most surprising lessons you've learned recently 

besides the fact that Rich needs coffee? No, This. 

Rand Selig 41:37
Besides that? Besides that. 

Rich Bennett 41:40
Mm 

Rand Selig 41:42
Well, I had, you know, this last few years of writing this book 

Rich Bennett 41:47
hmm. 

Rand Selig 41:47
has been a fantastic adventure. Absolutely fantastic. I've learned so many things about this industry. It's a huge industry which I actually knew nothing about. I didn't know what it really took to write or to edit or publish a book, and certainly nothing about the marketing of a book. I don't like doing a lot of blabbing about myself. I like to be of service 

Rich Bennett 42:11
Right. 

Rand Selig 42:11
and like to help other people. So this was not a natural thing. But I've learned a lot about that and I've learned a lot about myself because to be able to write this book with authenticity and to have pulled together things which I began pulling together in high school actually quotes and articles and books I take notes about books. So this is a big accumulation over a long, long period of time. And I had to go through that and understand what these things meant to me and why they were important for other people. So this learning curve has been nothing but sensational. And I've also upped my game a lot when it comes to the kinds of things we've been talking about, meeting people, engaging with people. I I've been talking recently about love in a very different way. 

Rich Bennett 43:06
Mm hmm. 

Rand Selig 43:07
So love. I wrote actually posted on LinkedIn on Valentine's Day. Say if you have the Valentine's Day kind of love, you're bringing chocolates and the flowers and you feel that emotional, romantic love, I'm happy for you. I understand that. I have that in my life and I understand how important a dog that is. But I want to share with you. A lot of people don't have that. It's a very lonely day for them. 

Rich Bennett 43:35
Yeah. 

Rand Selig 43:36
So think I encourage you. I invite you to think about a different kind of love. This is a bigger love. This is a social good where you are living life as love, love as a way of living. And what does that mean? That means that you're kind, you're respectful, you're listening. As we were talking about, you're asking questions. You're 

performing acts of loving kindness to animals, to Mother Nature, to other people. And this way of being and what it boils down to is when I go to a place for a cup of coffee, it may be I go there periodically, Maybe it's the first time ever and somebody is doing something. I see. Maybe it's a server, maybe it's somebody at a table near me. I will I will ask for their name. I will say, I saw you doing that. I saw you holding hands. And I just it made me smile. I just want to tell you, you know, I'm happy for you. It made me smile and I just. I'm cheering. I'm cheering for you, you know? Here it is. 

Rich Bennett 44:38
Yeah. 

Rand Selig 44:39
And bring your smile. Mother Teresa says the smile is the beginning of love. Bring your smile. 

Rich Bennett 44:46
You could change somebodys life with it, too. Without a doubt. Your book addresses the idea of aging well and leaving a legacy living legacy, actually. So what does aging well look like for you, and what legacy are you hoping to leave? 

Rand Selig 45:06
Oh, well, thank you for that question. I just gave a talk at a retirement home about the nine. I call it Secrets, but they're the keys, because now those things are really big secrets. They're just obvious. But putting it together that way was really good. There are things again, these are in our control. In our control to do, and these are choices of aging well. The cornerstone for it is being positive, being positive as opposed to nine years to our lives. This is this is studies research. This is not me making it up. 

It goes with being grateful. Again, this is a habit, even if it's about reframing a situation. Everybody has a situation, a patch, a time, a day where something is not going well. It's. It's grimy. You're in a transition. You had a relationship struggle, a breakup, whatever it is. You got to look at at that to see what was the good that came out of this. What what can I be grateful for here? So gratitude is a is a huge one. There are three that I have in this list, which are what I call emotional health. Being emotionally healthy is key to aging well. And if I can just take a minute to walk through those three rich. 

Rich Bennett 46:33
Absolutely. 

Rand Selig 46:35
One is to stop self-sabotaging. 

This is a this is a big deal. It's not never been an issue for me. But I see a lot of people, even if they were very talented and very committed, they are doing this. They don't allow themselves to give something a chance. They don't apply for a job. They don't sign up for a training. They in the social situation, they don't follow through. When somebody says, hey, let's let's exchange emails or let's be connect on on social media or grab a cup of coffee, they say, Now, I don't really think that person is frankly interested in me. I don't think they'll they'll take me for that job. Don't even give yourself a chance. We all know that it's not guaranteed. But even if it's a one in whatever, one in ten chance will. 100 chance. Without trying, you're not going to get anywhere. So I say, take a look at yourself. Take a look at yourself over the next few days or a week and see if you're doing that. Are you saying I'm not good at this? You know, I had that when I was getting my undergraduate degree in mathematics. People would say, I come in for tutoring and they'd say, I'm not good at math. I said, Let's work together. Let's let's solve some problems. And by the time I finished up with them, they said, Hey, math is fun. I like it. 

So that that's one. A second one is letting go. Now, I got to tell you, this is this was a hard one for me because so much of my personal professional life has it's been very successful. And why? Because I controlled things. Now, there's a difference between what you control yourself and those. There are four things that are absolutely rock solid about controlling yourself. One is your attitude. 

Rich Bennett 48:29
Yeah. 

Rand Selig 48:30
Another is your your effort, the amount of energy you're going to put into something. A third is your behavior, and then there's action. Those are things you can control. Okay. When it comes to other folks, it's a big wakeup call for me. A about a years ago, I said I'm looking around going, wow, maybe I'm maturing. Maybe I'm just a little bit more humble. I'm not really controlling all that much. Oh, my gosh. And if if I wanted to control it, I wasn't. And I was holding on with some kind of negative emotion. I said, I got to let go of this, but I but I'm having a hard time with it. So I do this exercise with folks. And Rich, I know your listeners can't see us, but you and I can do this where you say, hold up your fist. 

Rich Bennett 49:17
Right. 

Rand Selig 49:18
You're holding on to something and you see your knuckles there, there, there, white knuckles. Right. And so, okay, you're holding on. You want to let go? It happened a long time ago. It's recent. Whatever you now, you flip your your fist over still white knuckles. You're saying I want to like, go this and I can't then maybe because you read my book. Ha ha. You say I am powerful. I'm going to make a decision right now to let go. And now you open your hand, you wiggle your fingers, you wave yourself and your hand rises because you're letting go of this heavy weight. This is this is unburdening yourself. It's so important to do. I used to do this like regular, like weekly. I'd find myself saying, I'm holding on, I can't let go. And now I'm doing it very regularly. Maybe I'm even more humble, but when I find myself feeling I need to let go and I'm not. I do this exercise. I get a smile on my face and it helps me. It's 

Rich Bennett 50:16
That's 

Rand Selig 50:16
a 

Rich Bennett 50:16
a 

Rand Selig 50:16
little. 

Rich Bennett 50:16
great idea. 

Rand Selig 50:18
It's a little trek to get the third of these emotionally healthy things to do. That has a lot to do with aging well. Is forgiving. 

Rich Bennett 50:27
Mm. Mm. 

Rand Selig 50:29
When I talked the other day at this group, and they were, I guess, in their eighties, and I said, is there anybody ever had that experience where somebody made, you know, made you feel bad or or you felt embarrassed or irritated with something and you feel that the person needs to give you an apology or whatnot. And everybody was I could see them. Having going right back to a situation or two where there is and they have not been able to forgive that person, it's still fresh, it's painful. And I say you got to let go of that. You've got to forgive them. You have to be honest with yourself. Did you participate in some way? Maybe it was a minor way. Maybe it wasn't so minor that you contributed to make that situation a negative situation. So you need to start with an apology and you don't have to say, Oh, I was that was a mess. That really made me feel bad. And I contributed 5% to that. Now you say now, No, it was a bad was. I just want to share with you that that that happened a while back that I wanted to it got in the way of our friendship and our relationship. And I just I just forgive you 

Rich Bennett 51:46
Yeah. 

Rand Selig 51:47
and just let it go. It it made the relationship may be over, but it unburdened to you. It's really a good thing to do. The other is forgiving yourself. 

Rich Bennett 51:58
Yeah. 

Rand Selig 51:58
I mean, I've yet to meet a person who hasn't made a mistake. And that and the thing to do is to take a look again, be honest and learn from those mistakes, turn them into valuable lessons, and forgive yourself. And if you can do those kinds of forgiving, but your mind is is clear, You're you're not putting heavy rocks in your backpack and trying to scale, you know, a steep hill. It it it helps a lot with aging. Well, you sleep better, which is key. 

Rich Bennett 52:34
Yes. 

Rand Selig 52:36
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 52:37
Yeah. And with the forgiveness, I think a lot of people. 

And this is just my take on it. But I think a lot of people have a hard time forgiving because they feel they have to forget in order to forgive. You're never going to forget. If you start forgetting, then, okay, there's something else going on up in your brain. You better go to the doctor. Yo. But. Yeah, forgiving. And I always go back, you know, to the Bible. Yeah. When Jesus was on the cross and he forgave them, you know. 

Rand Selig 53:15
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 53:16
Yeah, you may not forget, but you can forgive. So I. I love that. 

Rand Selig 53:22
It's it's it's it's it's a powerful, very powerful thing. And again, it's in our control. All of these things are if we're willing to do the work, if we're willing to open up ourselves and look inside and be honest, then then these these are things we can we can adjust. We can shrink them down and make it even go away. And then we can move forward. Move forward. Otherwise, we're not moving forward. We're stuck. 

Rich Bennett 53:50
Yeah, And you don't want to be stuck. All right, Saran, for someone starting to read thriving if they start reading it today. What's the one piece of advice you hope they take to heart from your book? 

Rand Selig 54:07
Well, my book is about encouragement. It's about inspiring people. So I would just hope that people would embrace this. They do the homework, get to know themselves, open up to the enormous possibilities for their life. And, you know, of all the many, many quotes in the book, the very last rose, the only one for me. And I say, could this coming year be the best year of your life thus far? There's a pause, and I say, What would make it so? 

So I would say that's that's the possibility here of reaching your potential, of becoming the better person, of living a life, a fulfilled. It's. It's. Well, I mean, what are we here for? 

Rich Bennett 55:02
Yeah. Yeah. 

Rand Selig 55:04
You know, be compassionate. 

Rich Bennett 55:06
Mm hmm. 

Rand Selig 55:07
To be of service it. Yes. We want to enjoy ourselves. Yes, we we we want to enjoy a yummy meal here. There. Of course, we all do. But the core of it is these other bigger. Juicier bits of life. 

Rich Bennett 55:24
Yeah. 

Rand Selig 55:24
And I really encourage people to take a look at that. 

I mean, my whole my whole life I've actually just been named in the Who's Who in America 

Rich Bennett 55:38
Really? 

Rand Selig 55:38
and that they they did a lot of research before inviting me in. And and they said, we see not only did you build up an incredible career in finance and all these innovations you made to the financial world, but you've been a service. You've done all these things year in and year out, whether it's Scout mastering or being serving on a board or just going to your local marchon and and taking out the non-native invasive plants. You know, this is you're dedicated to that and you're you're kind of relentless. Said, I am so appreciative of being seen that way and I want to speak to that. I want to encourage people to to step up and be that other person that's there. It's there. It's just kind of being held back. 

Rich Bennett 56:35
And it makes you feel so good to. 

Rand Selig 56:39
So true gives the energy. 

Rich Bennett 56:41
Yeah, 

Rand Selig 56:41
Gives you energy 

Rich Bennett 56:42
it 

Rand Selig 56:43
and 

Rich Bennett 56:43
does. 

Rand Selig 56:43
it it it makes you positive. Again, I'm relentlessly positive. So it starts more easily for me than some folks who have gotten into some bad habits about being cynical and reading too much media. That's just all, you know, negative stuff. You know, if you're if you're positive, you get power, 

Rich Bennett 57:04
Yeah. 

Rand Selig 57:04
and if you're negative and depressed, you your power diminishes. 

Rich Bennett 57:10
Absolutely. And one of the things because I mean, years ago and I will forgive you, it never goes away, but you can learn how to control it. I had anxiety, depression and was even suicidal. And I tell everybody, well, we already mentioned one book, Tuesdays with Morrie. It helped me a lot. And the other one was Rhonda Byrne's The Secret about. Self with the law of attraction, you know, basically, positively. I can't tell you the last time I watched the news. I don't watch the news anymore. I'm. You know, stuff. The only time I see anything about the news is when I get on the Internet or social media. Yeah, you'll see a quick thing, and then I'm. I'm away from it right away because I'm going to the whatever website I'm going to do. I just like it's I don't need that stuff. You know, And it makes you feel so much better if you don't. 

Rand Selig 58:10
It's true. And, you know, we are what we focus on. 

Rich Bennett 58:14
Yes. Yeah. 

Rand Selig 58:16
So if you want to if you want to focus on beauty, you want to focus on the amazing world we live in, the nature, the bugs, the the, you know, it's springtime. They the flowers and the blooming stuff, the birds. You know, I think you're going to get a little smile on your face if you if you focus on those things and we all know what what it's not too hard to focus on stuff that makes us feel bad. 

Rich Bennett 58:43
Yeah. 

Rand Selig 58:44
Just dwell on that. And it and it relates to the people we surround ourselves with. There's there's a line I heard a few years back, as we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. 

Rich Bennett 58:56
Oh, wow. 

Rand Selig 58:56
Well, we'll take I'll take a little inventory of that. Are are you the smartest person of those five? Are you the funniest or are you the, you know, the kindest? Well, if you are all those things, well, then you're you're doing well. That's great. But should you up your game somehow if in fact, somebody is a little smarter or somebody who's got a very different experience and life into the and spend more time with them, that might be a good, good thing. Mix it up. 

Rich Bennett 59:25
Yeah. For those of you listening, I have to tell you all this, especially talking about positivity and just all the beautiful things out there. So, you know, Rand again, is on the West Coast. I'm on the East Coast where we're recording this virtually. And I could see him. He could see me. He is sitting on his deck the whole time. I'm talking, talking with him and listening to him. All I am enjoying. I don't know if that's a forest in your backyard or whatever, but it is so beautiful outside there. 

Rand Selig 1:00:03
Thank. 

Rich Bennett 1:00:03
It's just. And it makes me feel good. You talk about enjoying nature and everything it does. Just seeing all that. It just. Oh, man. 

I don't 

Rand Selig 1:00:16
Well. 

Rich Bennett 1:00:16
need that. I don't need that cup of coffee from you, Rand. 

Rand Selig 1:00:19
All. Thank you, Rich. I felt bad about not. Copy. Well, yeah. No, I mean, if you if you can look out your window 

Rich Bennett 1:00:26
Oh, yeah. 

Rand Selig 1:00:27
and have something beautiful to look at, that's great. But if you don't have it because you're living in a city and you're in a small apartment, well, then I say put put up a poster 

Rich Bennett 1:00:37
Yeah. 

Rand Selig 1:00:37
up. Put up a poster of something that. That is just. Just makes makes you happy inside it. It can be a scene from nature. That could be. It could be a picture of some of the beautiful thing that you you saw on a trip. You know, the Eiffel Tower. I don't know. You know, you pick something that just transports you back to this really solid, good, good place. Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 1:01:07
Something very important. Tell everybody your website and how they can get your book. It would you off because you offer something free on your website as well? 

Rand Selig 1:01:17
Thank you. And yeah, yeah, I saw you. You went there 

Rich Bennett 1:01:20
Yes. 

Rand Selig 1:01:20
to a rich. That's great. Yes, w w w rand say lego.com are an d a6 and sam e l ig icon and it's a b it's a good website, you know describes the book gives more information about me has six amazing testimonials. This includes the head of Kaiser Permanente and other really well-known folks. It it includes as rich was just saying a give me your email address and you get a PDF of something like 40 of my favorite quotes from the book by chapter. So so that's there and there's the media page. So and I keep refreshing that with podcasts, so I'll add riches, podcast it at, at it when it's available. And so if you like this one and you want to hear other because they're all a little bit different, they have different focuses and different orientations, but you can listen to other podcasts. There's a list right down there. 

Rich Bennett 1:02:30
So all of you listening as well. And don't forget this. After you get his book or Kindle edition or soon to be audio edition. Make sure you leave a full review. And if it touches you, if it helps you buy another copy, give it to somebody as a gift because you're you're helping them as well. Sorry. Before I get to my last question, is there anything you would like to add? 

Rand Selig 1:03:04
The world we live in is is amazing. It's complex. It's ever changing. And who we are in that world is up to us in so many ways. Being be the bigger person. I just encourage you. I hope to inspire you with being this kinder, bigger person. Go for something, have purpose in your life, even if its purpose is just being a kind person and being respectful. If that if that's it. That's what I was telling the folks at the retirement home, if that's all. It's not about making money anymore. It's not about raising your family. It's not about some of these other big components of life. It's about the kind of person, you know, are you going to treasure your relationships or are you going to treasure your possessions? These are choices. These are choices. We have a lot of power to make choices. 

Rich Bennett 1:04:00
I love that. All right. So now you got to put your thinking cap on. You ready? I sell out of all the podcasts you've been on? Is there anything a host has never asked you that you wish they would have asked you? And if so, what would be that question and what would be your answer? 

Rand Selig 1:04:20
Wow. This is this is not something that immediately comes to mind when I think about that. I've I've done a lot of podcasts. I'm going to keep doing it because it's just such a great medium. And I have to say, Rich, you exemplify a great way to be a host. You've prepared well, you're asking fantastic questions. You're bringing in your your own perspective, which which just adds to to a lot. And, you know, this is the community that I've experienced of of really solid hosts. And it makes a good. So do do I have something I wish people had asked me and have not yet. I don't I don't have one I don't have one that's burning that's just going to plop out of my mouth right away. Probably after we finish up later today, I'll email you and tell you. 

Rich Bennett 1:05:16
That means you just have to come on again when the second book comes out. 

Rand Selig 1:05:21
Well, I would love to join you again. Absolutely, Richard. This has been really good. And I think what you're about. What I'm about are very aligned. And if if that makes sense, to have more things to talk to your audience about. Sign me up. 

Rich Bennett 1:05:42
Absolutely. I think we're I think we're twin brothers from different parents. 

Rand Selig 1:05:47
Yeah, I say that. I say that to a twin brothers of a different mother. I. I like that. 

Rich Bennett 1:05:55
Oh, bad. 

Rand Selig 1:05:56
Our hairdo is very similar. 

Rich Bennett 1:05:58
Yeah, actually, I feel some hair up there. I got to shave again. That's. 

Rand Selig 1:06:04
I. 

Rich Bennett 1:06:04
Look at my. It's funny because my kids always get on me about. Well, Dad, you're bald. Yeah, you're losing. Well, I lost my hair and I'm losing it. But I tell them it's because I'm so smart. It's push it. My brain is just pushing all the hair out, and it's just my brains 

Rand Selig 1:06:21
Well, 

Rich Bennett 1:06:21
are. 

Rand Selig 1:06:21
that. 

Rich Bennett 1:06:21
It's falling out. 

Rand Selig 1:06:22
That that just proves to me that we are twin brothers. I used to wonder why I got a sunburn on my nose and I would tell my kids that it's because my nose was close. Ears, big nose, closer to the sun. And they look at me. They're my kids are very smart. They go, I don't really think that's. Proper explanation. 

Rich Bennett 1:06:51
Yeah. Some of the things we can't get by them anymore. It's like even with my beard, because I used to be able to get a way of saying it. It's not grey, it's Arctic Blonde. No, it's white now. 

Rand Selig 1:07:05
That's very good. That's very 

Rich Bennett 1:07:07
Oh. 

Rand Selig 1:07:07
good. Well, but you got to have humor. 

Rich Bennett 1:07:09
Yeah. Oh, yeah. 

Rand Selig 1:07:10
One of the aging wealth actors is having hear about the world we live in. Maybe it's a joke you heard. Maybe it's just you look at some things. That's. That's pretty humorous. And there's actually an Eastern tradition maybe from India of deep belly laughing. 

Rich Bennett 1:07:27
Mm hmm. 

Rand Selig 1:07:27
It's really good. Therapeutically, your innards are wiggling around and that's good to mix them up. But it's also good to have humor about yourself. Then you and you say, you know, I'm actually the funniest person I know. 

Rich Bennett 1:07:44
And I want to thank you so much. It's been an honor and a true pleasure. Yeah, we'll definitely have to do it again in the future, without a doubt. And if you ever make it back out here to Maryland again, look me up. We'll have to sit down and have that cup of coffee. 

Rand Selig 1:07:59
I would very much look forward to that. You know, Dad, Dad, as I said, is 102, and he'll be buried at Arlington National Cemetery. We don't know when he's he's still he'll still huffing and puffing. And so. But that'll that'll of course, get me back there. And so, Rich, I would absolutely love to have a chance to sit down with you. And maybe that's when I get to your cup of coffee. 

Rich Bennett 1:08:26
Sounds good. Thanks a lot, Rand. 

Rand Selig 1:08:28
Thank you.