#41 The Elegant Pivot Series: Master Your Stories

In my latest podcast episode, I again welcome daughter and colleague Jen Maneely. We are continuing our series on The Elegant Pivot. In this episode, we talked about the Chapter titled Master Your Stories.

We had SO many stories about making up stories. All too often, we think we know what the other person is thinking or why they said something. More often than not, we are missing the full picture. In fact, I would dare say we never have the full picture, because we can’t truly get inside someone else’s head.

The problem with making up stories is when we act on them as if they are true. I’ve done this myself way too many times to count, often with hilarious results. We tell a couple of those types of stories. But we also talked about situations where our stories caused us grief.

Making up stories about why something is happening or why someone is doing something is completely natural. Getting invested in those stories as if they are true – rather than treating them like the theories that they are – is at the root of many of our breakdowns.

Assuming positive intent is the best move I know to interrupt the cycle. It’s a simple move – but as my book explains, certainly not easy. We get very real in this episode about the challenges of moving from believing our stories to testing our stories.

I would love to hear what you like about this conversation. All you have to do is go to the podcast page on my website at www.lynncarnes.com and click the “send a voicemail button” on the right-hand side of the page. Super easy to do and it helps me know what to bring you in future episodes.

Of course, also share this episode with your colleagues and friends. I hope you enjoy this episode.

Additional Topics

We are always going to tell a story, can we not be invested in the story?
Being invested in the story means we can’t change it
Context matters in the creation of our stories.
Instead of making up a story about a situation, when we get an opportunity, we can go ask questions to see what is really going on.
A lot of our stories come from fear.
Mastering our stories is a journey and overriding our natural instinct is part of the journey, certainly not the easiest part of the journey.
What you accuse people of is what you do. Which is a hard pill to swallow.
A great question is “How is this useful, what does this lead to?”
Language is generative, “What am I generating?”
The Story I’m Making up is…
How do we master and rewrite our stories?