#8 Nikki Porter, Equestrian Mindset Coach on Leadership, Energy and Truthfulness
The ironic thing about developing self-awareness is that we often need others to hold up the mirror so we can see what is really true about ourselves. Nikki Porter, is the host of “Take the Reins, a weekly personal growth podcast for horse owners.” She effortlessly weaves the parallels between the relationships we have with horses and humans. The lessons apply to how we show up as leaders, the way our energy impacts others and the value of genuine truthfulness. We cover a lot of ground in this conversation about the places we have extraordinary power over our choices, even when facing the biggest pressures and changes of our lives.
Nikki: 0:02
welcome to creative spirits unleashed where we talk about the dilemmas of balancing work and life. And now here's your host, Lynn Kearns.
Lynn: 0:19
Hello and welcome to the creative spirits UnLeashed Podcast I'm Lynn Carnes, Your host. Today I'm bringing to you Nikki Porter from the Take the Reins podcast. Nikki's an equestrian mindset coach who I found through the podcast app on Apple and reached out to because I simply had to talk to her. I listened to several of her podcast and realize that she is a master of drawing the parallels between humans and horses, and the skills that we can learn as humans to help us be better under pressure, to help us be less anxious and to help us be really true leaders. What I loved about our conversation is how very timely it is in these current times it is April of 2020. All of us are very aware that life changed dramatically as we've had to go into quarantines and sequestering and social distancing and fundamental shifts in our jobs, our lives, the ways of doing things together. And Nikki has some brilliant ideas for how to make the most of this even in the midst of the pain, the confusion and the difficulties. So this was a so worthwhile conversation. One of my favorite stories that she tells in here is about working with her horse in the arena and how she got past that horses fear of a particular quarter of the arena. As it seems, a lot of horses have that certain place that they just dread. And again as humans, we often have those kind of places ourselves. So what I loved about this story was how she got through it and how we can all use her same techniques to get there. So, Nikki, is also the author of the book The Conscious Communicator, and I so recommend you get this. It's one of the most quotable books I have ever read, and she really dives deep into the personal growth side of being a horseman. So look for Nikki on Facebook under Nikki Porter coach as well as Instagram, and her website is Nikkiporter. ca. And You spell her name N i k k I. You can find all this on my website under the show notes that lynncarnes.com. You can find that under the show. No to this podcast. So I hope you truly enjoy this conversation. I look forward to hearing from you about what you like and you don't like, and please do share it with your friends. Nicky, welcome to the podcast.
Nikki: 2:52
Hi Lynn, thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate it. It's it's been a little bit of a long time coming. I feel like we've both been, like, gotta get on the show. So I'm really excited. Thanks so much.
Lynn: 3:05
I'm really glad you're here and that we were able to make this work both from time and what's going on in the world today. I I know these podcasts will live past, you know, April of 2020. But I don't think history will ever forget that March and April 2020 The whole world changed.
Nikki: 3:24
Oh, absolutely. There's a huge shift happening. I'm I have no doubt that this all happened for a reason, and I think it's going to create a really positive shift. I know that there's a lot of negative wrapped up in the whole situation because it's impacting people, you know financially and health wise and in so many different ways. But I really think there's a positive on the other side of this, and I know that those of them are those of you who are being impacted negatively. That's a hard thing to say and listen to, But I think you're going to see a major shift happen.
Lynn: 4:01
I believe we are in the middle of an amazing shift. And the problem is, it has to be a painful shift too. And it's full of fear. in fact, I was just talking to somebody who said they had gone to the grocery store and everybody kind of had their head down. And
Nikki: 4:21
I said the same thing with the last time I went I was like, It's like everyone scared, even make eye contact.
Lynn: 4:27
Yeah, it's like eye contact creates the virus. You're saying Yeah, and I'd like to talk about that because, you know, I've been reading your book. It's a phenomenal book, you know, the conscious communicator. And there's so much in that language. There's just those two words, but I'm holed up a quote that you said that I want to sort of uses a launching point in this conversation. And it is this. It says when we work with horses they reflect to and what we are. If we are anxious, they become anxious. If we're fearful, they become fearful. And if we're calm, they become calm. The grocery store experience, the going out in the street experience that am I gonna die experience? Am I gonna pay my mortgage experience? All of these, I think it just actually not started or created fear. But I think it's uncovered fear that we've always had. Yeah, so can you talk a little bit about your what you've learned about fear through working with these magnificent animals who could do nothing but share with us who we are?
Nikki: 5:39
Absolutely. So I really think that it comes down to leadership. And when I think of people in the grocery store, right, and especially right now leaders are the people that are stepping up and trying To, induce a calm versus a panic. And with our horses our horses are always looking for a leader. And if you are presenting yourself as if you are trying to establish a leadership role with the horse and your energy is putting out nervousness, fear, anxiety. Then you're essentially communicating to them. You should be fearful. You should be nervous and so often times a lot of us will actually try to, like, cover up our fear when we're working with our horses because fear gets triggered in a lot of different ways. And I'm gonna I'll tell a little story about that. I'm gonna jot down a note, so I get back to it. But Mom's story remind me to go back to that, But when it comes to our horses, if if we're being triggered in in a multitude of ways, when it comes to fear or anxiety or just a lack of presence in general, then they're looking to us in order to know how to feel because there's no there's no disconnect of our energy with them. Right? So, you know, if I am presenting a strong body language and have a smile on my face and I'm trying to, like, fake until I make it. But my energy is full of fear and anxiety. They're going to respond based on the energy, and they're actually going to be, they're going to be confused and frustrated by the lack of continuity between how we look and how we actually feel. so I feel like that's happening in our society right now as well, where you have people going to the grocery store, and I I know When I was there, I was responding to the people around me because I kind of went in feeling like, OK, well, I'm like, pretty protected right now. There's a guy counting the man of people coming into the store. They closed down the store so I can only go in one side. I'm not gonna be crossing past with people who are leaving. They've have lines on the ground, so I feel like I'm it's structured. I know that they're putting measures in place that make me feel really safe. But then when I looked around, the people that were in the store were presenting this energy about them of actually not feeling safe and not feeling guided. They were feeling really nervous still, and it automatically transferred into me where I was like, Should I should I be looking at people? Should I still smile like, should I still feel like, like are still our friendly selves, right? And I feel like right now it's so easy to get caught up in that energy of fear. And I think that the most important part really is when we're looking for leadership right now, make sure that we're looking for leadership in the right places. So don't don't turn on the news and expect to be able to walk away and feel really good and feel really positive. one thing that I'm noticing is that when I turn off the news and I select the people that I'm listening to, I look too, you know, make sure that I'm going to reputable places to find my information. Another great tip is I don't go to places that have a lot of images. So a lot of places that have video I'm not watching video, making sure that I'm reading the words and interpreting them on my own versus having headlines flash at me and all of these things that are making mixed messages between what the actual messages and then what My perceived, notion of what the message might be based on whether it be different things that are flashing up in front of me or whatever that might be. So making sure that that when we're looking at the situation, we're doing so from a place of clarity, making sure that we're in control of the situation and very similar to when we're working with our horses that we're looking at it from a very present place. So make sure this is this is one thing that I'm noticing a lot. A lot of people are sharing, information that's outdated. And when I say outdated, outdated might be yesterday versus five minutes ago. So
Lynn: 10:22
we're moving fast.
Nikki: 10:23
They're so moving so fast. And so it's really important to make sure that you're working on current information to know that that you are feeling is safest possible, and that you can rely on the information that is being given to you, and that's very similar with their horses. Our horses need to be really able to rely on the information that's being given to them, and if they can't, then it's really hard to trust and respect that information and something, and they just want to take things to your own into their own hands, and it's the same with us. Well, we'll start taking things during into our own hands,
Lynn: 10:57
which I think I've seen people doing a lot of. And I love that You said it really comes down to leadership. And then the other word I think it's so critical Is congruence Yes, being the same on the inside as we are on the outside. Yeah, go
Nikki: 11:14
ahead. We are scared. Absolutely. Make sure that you share it. I I think that's the most important part is that even with our animals our animals aren't necessarily going to be afraid because we're afraid they're afraid when we're actually afraid. But we're showing we're not.
Lynn: 11:32
The incongruence is worse than actually being true.
Nikki: 11:35
That vulnerability is so relatable for animals and people, and it really establishes that connection. The disconnect happens when we're not authentic and we're not in congruence.
Lynn: 11:47
So that's that's what that's what. I'm really curious to take another dive in maybe he'll back a couple of more layers on, Sure. And I'm gonna start with actually a horse example. But I think that this same thing is actually happening with people as well. But I'll give you a quick story that happened with me just the other day. you're a horse trainer and very, very experienced. I have to acknowledge that I've only been at this for about a little over a year after Thank you. Thinking I knew about riding horses on discovering that what I knew fit on the head of a pan and what I needed to know fit in the Dallas Cowboys Stadium.
Nikki: 12:26
Oh, don't, Lynn, honestly, you can do this for another 45 years. And so I've been running since I was seven. I just turned 36 today. thank you. And there are days I go out, Lynn and I feel like it's my first day in the saddle. It's my first day putting on a halter and and I'm you know, I work with my husband and I when we do clinics. I think right now we're at almost 1000 horses over the five or six years that we've been doing it and those are just like weekend clinics. And then there's horses that we work on the side as well. So you know you can The more you know, the more you feel like you don't know. So congratulations on jumping in. You know, I want to say it gets better.
Lynn: 13:11
And so I've taken lots of different angles. I am a complete sponge on this. So what that means is I've tried. I'm riding western. I'm writing English. I'm doing the groundwork. You know, you mentioned that you had heard my podcast with Bruce Anderson, and the work he does on the ground is some of the most transformative work I've done, and I've done a lot of transformational work. so I'm sort of aware of that leadership role with the horse. So the other day, I finished. This is my English riding lesson. It's on the biggest horse I've ever been on. He's over 17 hands. I grew up in the quarter horse world where there maybe 15 hands. Somehow, that that little bit of difference somehow gives my my mind, the perception that things are better lower to the ground. Not necessarily true, but But I'm on this big horse. And after we finished a really kind of a breakthrough lesson because I'm just learning how to post can't keep my heels down to save my life and all of this and it was a very intense lesson. And he's my instructor said, Why don't you ride him around the field and come back? And this is where the leadership really comes in Because he is not on a trail with other horses where there's another horse that's the leader. he had to be the leader or had to be the 1st 1 in line, and that is my job actually be the leader. Well, the last time I was actually out on a trail where I was the leader I got just been three days in the hospital because I didn't know what the hell I was doing. Oh, wow. Yeah. And so there was that fear which felt very justified to me. And as we were heading out there, you know, he's got his tuners tuned up, and I'm trying to give him confidence. But at the same time, I'm recognizing, you know, I can't help but notice that there's somebody in the next field over running a four wheeler around, and if the wind is blowing and that a gate that looked like it should have been open is closed and you know that there was this big black burrow on one of the trees that he seemed very concerned about. I'm just all those little things. And so I found myself feeling like I knew to be his leader. But being able to get myself energetically in the place where I was being congruent and really being his near was different. But I would love to hear how you how you get one to reconcile that in the face of I don't want to say I was in huge danger, but I'm I do realize that if a horse gets afraid as the one I was riding before, and I don't know what I'm doing, that horse kicked up and out I went, you know? Yeah, what do you do? What's your guidance for people as a leader to get themselves to Be congruent?
Nikki: 16:00
That's a really, really good question. And I absolutely love the story because, my husband and I actually teach their trail clinics. Now we've Well, when we started this path, a trail clinics, it was kind of like we wanted to, because we were both competing in, like, an ultimate trail type class, and we wanted to be able to share our ability to be able to introduce and get horses confident on obstacles, and it's transformed over the last few years into more of a communication style clinic. So it's a communication clinic with your horse only We use obstacles as props, and they really establish our ability to be able to give people something to work towards and then feel really good about what's happened on the other side of it. So it's very rewarding for people. So I love that you are able to kind of tap into the fact that you have a past experience that created this fear. But your horse needs you on a different level right now. and oftentimes what happens is we go on these trail rides and we really rely on other horses to be the leader for our horse. So when we have people in our clinics, I'm gonna use the water box for an example, because it's normally everyone's trigger, right? So it's not necessarily every horses trigger, but it's almost every person's trigger where they're like, Oh, gosh, my horse hates water. Oh, I can't do that. The last time I took my horse to water this so there's a lot of There's a multitude of stories that come along with it. So what what often happens is you'll see a horse stopped at the water box, and it immediately makes people feel like they can't handle the situation, so it triggers a fear that they can't get it done. And oftentimes they'll hear people say, Well, that horse over there had no problem with the with the water box. Why don't I just get my horse to follow that horse through? and I always say to them, If you were on a trail ride right now and your ability to get home safely depended on your horse getting through this water and the you knew that was that safety would happen If you had your horse look behind another horse, then I would say 100%. But in our clinics, the purpose of working with these horses is for them to begin to look to us for leadership. So at no point do I want my horse following another horse to take on leadership. I want to be able to work through every second of that communication for that horse to finally look to me and say, Oh, I think that I think that you are giving me an option that safe I can try for you and the try is really the most important part, right? So when we get a horse that says I can try for you, that's that's the biggest win. So when we think about going into situations like you are in where you just go off into the trail, there's a couple different things that you can do. First,I would suggest that you make sure that you center yourself before you go, which, you know, if you're if you're versed in grounding techniques, then you might be able to do that really quickly. I'm actually in the process of creating meditations for riders that they can take along with them on their phone, and they can start with them before they enter the barn or when they're in the barn. Or maybe they need and two, you know, tap into their energy or tune into themselves while they're riding, and that would be a really good opportunity if you're not someone that's used to being able to really calm yourself naturally, or on your own quite yet. You haven't been overly practiced in it. Then that would be a good alternative. But really just tapping into your energy and you might even just, like, place your hand on their neck and say, I'm gonna take a deep breath. Let's take a deep breath. I think we're gonna go for a ride like you're It Sounds silly to talk yourself through it, but when you're able to talk yourself through it and you're talking to your horse, it's unless of like, I know that you understand what I'm saying and more. I know that you know what I'm feeling right now, and it's just that acknowledgement of how you're feeling and where you'd like to go and how you'd like to feel. So I'm going to give a little bit of a story here. A little example here with actually a ride that I'm doing with my horse in the arena. So I have a new horse to me. His name is Ford and he's a four year old Rainer, and he is just like the most innocent little guy. He's so funny, But there's a corner in the in the arena, right now, and I'm sure that people can relate to this. It doesn't seem to matter if you've been riding in the arena for, like, 20 years or 20 minutes. But there's always like this place in the arena that a horse will be like. Okay, that's it. That's where all the tigers come from, though, Just so you know, I'm gonna keep my eye on that spot for the rest of my life. And my goal as a rider and as a horsewoman is for him to walk into my arena and be like there might be tigers in all these corners. But if you feel good, if you feel safe, then I feel safe. So I was actually listening to a training by Dean Grassiosi the other day, and he was talking about our focus when it comes to our fear and our focus in when it comes to the direction that we're looking to go. And so he told a story about, a gentleman who was actually a white water raft guide. And this particular day this this, you know, carload of of gentlemen with their Children came along and the rapids were really, really high and the water looked really dangerous and all of the fathers said, Nope. We're not sending the kids out onto the water And he said the guy just pointed his finger and said, This is the finger. This is the point of positivity And he's like, Okay, So he went on to explain to Dean that in his early years of being a guide and they'd be going down this, you know, this really intense water and you know that he'd look at it and he'd tell his boat of people Do not go near those rapids. Do not paddle towards those rapids. Do not paddle towards that stump. And he was constantly looking for places to tell people not to go. And then he discovered that when he was focusing his energy there, then he was focusing other people's energy there and they would end up there. And he was ending up in these situations where people were reading tossed out of boats and in these dangerous situations that he was really well intended in avoiding. Now, after I read this or heard this story, I went to my arena and for the last, I don't even know how long it's been in a couple months. I walked into the arena and for the last couple months, he's He's been nervous of this corner in the arena. And this day I changed my mindset walking in and I said, I'm not going to tell him where I don't want him to be. I'm going to start focusing on where I want him to go. So this guide said that when he started saying Look at me and he would point and say, paddle there so he would never talk about the things are the places he didn't want his his people in his boat to go. He would just say go here. And so when he was able to point exactly where he wanted to go, then they always made it safely. They were always in a safe place because he was focused on that safe and very positive direction. So I hopped to my horse the other day and I was like, This is the energy I'm riding with, So I am at no point am I gonna say, Please don't put your attention there At no point, I mean, am I gonna say, Don't look over there, Don't be scared. I'm going to say I feel you. Let's go over here. I feel you come here with me. So I was so focused on a focus that he was able to let down and relax because I was so aware of, I guess my awareness shifted off of it off of the thing the same way I was expecting his awareness to shift off of the thing. Does that make sense?
Lynn: 24:32
Oh, my gosh, That is such a great story. I I've actually I ran into the same kind of experience about whitewater rafting and snow ski. Oh, interesting. The tree. I call it going to the white space and, you know, being aware that there may be a tree in the middle of the slope, But the only way I don't ski to the tree. And believe me, I've done it many times. Is to focused on the white space. And I took a group of women white water rafting last year for a leadership program. And this was where we actually did Class four rapids on our own in a single boat Oh, and so there was a lot of opportunity for falling in and There was a lot of falling in the river, but But what we discovered was that we had to focus on what we wanted because as soon as he would say You need to avoid that rock on the left or one of the places was it is called the shoot of shame. I think because it's terrifying. Yeah, because you had to do a little strong big to go to the right or you went to the left through the chute of shame who fell as soon as he said the shoot of shame. Guess what it gave half people. A chance to do is experience because they didn't want to. It was like, OK, I don't want that And that's exactly what they got. Yep. So I completely understand that principle and, you know, it's the application of it under pressure. I think that gets interesting
Nikki: 25:52
Yeah, the pressure is an interesting topic as well Lynn because I've been going through a lot of my own personal digging or, I don't know how to put it, but I want to say just thinking about it. But I feel like it goes a little deeper than that, but when I think of the things that we expect of our horses, right, so we expect them to be able to think through pressure, we expect them to be able to shift into,a state of relaxation when they naturally feel like they should be running and fleeing. And their in this state of anxiety, we want to be able to have our horses be focused and present with us all the time. But yet those things they're so challenging for all of us to do. And I think this is really my mission, is to teach people how to be and do the very things we expect of our horses outside of our horses. So do all of that. Learn how to shift yourself from anxious, too focused and relaxed. Learn how to think through pressure. Learn how to try when someone is asking with a with a very small amount of pressure, so many things that you know you're going to look for your horse to be able to do, but do all of those things and know that you're strong at those things on your own. And then think of how much better of a leader you'll be. And how much, more clear you'll be in your communication with your horse when you're coming from a place where you are excelling at the very things You're expecting them off.
Lynn: 27:42
That's such That's really the walking your talk message, right? Yeah. And ask what? What sort of came to me as you were talking about what we ask of our horses under pressure and by using pressure, by the way, it is what we're what we're facing today. And frankly, what we're really what we're facing today is a giant change effort that requires Giant leadership. And, you know, I grew up in the corporate world where we were doing this all the time, having these kind of changes. And, what what came up for me Was showing people they can do it. So I was just on the on the conversation this morning with one of my coaching clients who is on the front lines of this virus thing. And two days ago, when I spoke with her was trying to carry everybody and was crushing under the tiredness and the burden, in the interim, she tapped into that sort of her spiritual guidance, and it transformed so that instead of her trying to carry everybody, she was showing everybody how they could help themselves In a way, she was showing them their own abilities to perform under pressure. And that's when you tell the story about how have the horse do what we're asking him to do. It reminded me of that.
Nikki: 29:10
That's brilliant. Absolutely. Yeah and trusting that. That's how do I put this trusting that it's not her responsibility to carry it ,that A all of us are able and that the only responsibility might be that she can open eyes and show people, but that it isn't her responsibility to actually do the thing. and I think that transfers over to our animals as well, not taking on that personal baggage, the responsibility of other people's responses, the responsibility of how other people are interpreting things we can guide them in a certain direction. We can try our best to show them that they're safe. We can try our best to show them through compassion and empathy and understanding as much as possible, and know that that's good enough. KNow that that is really the best that we can do In any situation.
Lynn: 30:25
Well, this was actually one of my big insights when I actually shifted from being a little girl that watched cowboy movies and thought that body horses was what I saw in the movies. Who, understanding who these incredible animals really are was the depth of you used the word try of connection and willingness to be courageous for us that they can be, Yeah, I had no idea. Now I have worked with dogs for years. I have a Doberman, and I have a really big belief that if you're gonna have a dog like a Doberman who's a big alfa kind of dog, you better damn well be an Alfa leader or you're gonna have a very scary animal running your household. And so I've been pretty darn good with dogs. But for some reason, I had a mental block to actually understand that Horses could be trained and the same way you know, they they have the ability to try for us. And that's exactly what you're talking about. Is unlocking their try for us and having them get their own confidence and operate with what they are responsible for.
Nikki: 31:38
Yeah, it's interesting because I have had quite a few people come into our clinics who work with dogs and are very successful with dogs, and they were having issues with their horse. The horse wasn't respecting boundaries, or maybe they were having a hard time establishing boundaries in the first place or understanding the importance of them. and their communication was just a little blurry or a lot blurry. And as soon as I started talking about certain things that they could relate to dogs, then you could see the light bulbs go off. And they're like, Oh, my gosh, this is what I've been doing for so long. I don't know why I didn't make the connection and I'm sitting there going, You know what? That's exactly how I felt when I realized that how I communicated with my husband was the same way I was communicating with my horse,
Lynn: 32:28
right? I love it. Well, that's one when I the biggest difference, of course, between the dog and the horse and this is I think this is fundamental, but you still are communicating Is the prey versus predator? Yes, absolutely. You know that need to be super sort of Alfa with my Doberman its and with in the horse world, it's more like I need to remember that their need for safety, not their need for boundaries. Although both animals need safety and boundaries, I just think priorities different.
Nikki: 32:59
Yep. No, I completely agree. Yep.
Lynn: 33:01
Yeah. Yeah. So So you mentioned that you have a Reiner. Is that your Is that the primary kind of riding that you do is with reigning?
Nikki: 33:10
Well, it is. And it's funny because, you know, when you start something new and I know that you probably feel this, actually, because you're new to the riding world Do you remember the very first time that you said you were a rider, where you're like, I'm I remember that one individual I met a few years ago and she became a really good friend of mine. Actually, her name is Cami. And the first time I ever met her, she was I think she was within her first year of riding and she looked at me. I shook her hand, she was coming into a clinic with us, and she said, Hi. Yet my name's Cami But I'm not actually a rider. And I said what? What do you mean you're not a rider? You're in the Clinton. Like you're riding a horse in the clinic. Correct. Well, yeah, but I don't Lope. I just walk in, jiog, I'm not a rider. And I said, Well, can me we're gonna start here. The very first thing we're going to start with right now is that I never want to hear you say you're not a rider again because you're riding in our clinic. You're 100% of rider. And she was like, Oh, okay, so now she's like, she'll scream from the rooftops that she's a wrider. But I say that because, I'm I'm still at that point right now where I want to say to you, Lynn, I'm not a Rainer. but I am. And you're aware, that's what. Yeah, yeah, so I am a Rainer. which is maybe the first time that I've actually said that, like, out loud and and trying to own it. I bought my Rainer in. I think it was August of this past summer. And so we're still getting to know each other. I come from an English background. So I was a hunter girl for years. And then I met my husband when I was I believe I was 25 24 25 he was a cattle pinner of all things, which is like the complete opposite of what I had grown up with. It was so out of my comfort zone, and so I jumped right in and he rode with all the Open riders. He was an open rider himself or isn't open rider and I had no choice but to sink or swim. And so I got put on some really awesome horses and put on some phenomenal teams. And I learned the art of speed, and I'm not an adrenaline person. So it was really It was really difficult for me to shift out of, like, the perfection of the hunter world and into, going in and doing something based on time, and so that was a bit of a challenge. But the one thing that I really noticed was the refreshing change that came along with with changing my discipline. I stepped out of a very competitive world that was very political, and I stepped into a very competitive world that was very supportive. And so the way that I saw that was you'd go in and, you know, somebody would take a run and their horse would come out and the horse might hitch a little. And at no point did you see somebody go. Oh, my gosh. Their Horse is lame. That's terrible. They need to go home. You would see people go up and they would say, I see that your horse is a little off. We want to take my horse for your next run. And I'm like, What did what just happened? People are offering other people their horses in order to be able to go and compete against them. It was like it just blew me away.
Lynn: 36:55
So it is very different worlds. I was at that coverage A futurity in Oklahoma City in December. So was I. You were I was. Yeah, If we only had known each other, right? Yeah. So what I noticed, of course, these are three year olds and there's thousands of them. And I only saw one horse remotely shy in any way, shape or form. I was a friend of mine that owns several Rainer's was at Silver Spurs and the, you know, right there in the main area where they do the warm up before they go in the big arena, And so I was watching all of the horses warm up right before they went in. And then when her horses perform, we would run down and watch him from that special gate. Yeah, but there was, You know, you know, these horses are like walking through the streets, practically stores. All these people have their shops. Oh, absolutely, Yeah, and I'm marveled, because I live right down the road from where the World Equestrian Games was in 2018. Tryon International Equestrian Center. And that's actually where I was introduced for the first time in my life and to reigning was in May of 2018 when it was the only Western discipline growing up in Texas. I was kind of excited to see cowboys, but normally a Tryon, equestion center where they're doing the show jumping and so forth. There's a lot of nervous horses. There's a lot of spooking. There's a lot of care, is sort of like everybody's walking on eggshells because there might be an explosion. And then you go in this barn full, not barn, but multiple. Barns and Arena is full of three year old horses who are just as calm as a grandmother knit in almost on the porch. Absolutely. And I was curious. And you may you may have the answer of this to pull back. The layers are covers, but is it the training? Is it the horse, bReed? Is it the people? Why are the why are the isn't really is different as I think it is, and if so, why?
Nikki: 38:59
Well, it's, I've done a lot of thinking on this, okay? Because this is like I coming coming from that English world. And like, I used to try to hide my horse from all the things that scared them. and that was how I survived. And I I was quite competitive. And and I remember feeling fear a lot. and so then when I went into the the western world, I'm gonna go back to the petting for a second because one of the greatest parts of it was that you'd go to these horse shows and these horses are all standing there in between their classes and the riders like there's no one to be seen. Well, they're The writers were there, but they're stepping away from their horses. No horses, air putting nose to nose and squealing at each other. The horses were standing calmly. They're walking into the arena calmly, and then they're going and riding their hearts out, and they're walking out of the arena calmly. And I was like, What is hap pending right now? Is this magic? So then getting more versed in the Western industry, I started looking for the places that looked a little bit like my old familiar grounds where it was an individual sport, things looking for more finesse. But one thing didn't change and it was the mindset, where these horses were so exposed and there was less excuses. So the one thing that I could say about the Rainer's and really seeing that shift is understanding the importance of training the mind of a horse Just as Much as the body. And I think that is really the key, and I think it's missing in some disciplines is that we really have to focus and make it a priority to make sure that our horses minds are Just us well trained as their bodies and that it's more about, and I talked about accountability and awareness in my last interview in on my Podcast, and it really is about accountability and awareness and not making excuses for our horses, behavior and our own behaviors on drily holding everyone accountable. And I did have a conversation with someone Who was it? I feel like it was Jake Lundell of Lendl performance horses. And when he and I were talking, he actually spoke about, the reining horses out of really high level. So he was working at, at a reining trainers burn at one point, and now Jake used to be like, completely immersed in the Clinton Anderson program, where your constant constantly desensitizing and and working on the mind. But it's from a different perspective because, he said, the most amazing part of being at this this top training or raining training barn is that these two year olds were walking around like the most relaxed horses you can imagine. And he said that doesn't come without pressure that those horses are as relaxed as they are because of the amount of pressure that they're receiving within the the training program that they're in and those horses are having to be in tune and having to be very aware and very present while someone is around them at all times, because the expectation of them is so high. And then they go whew Okay, well, I guess you got this. No problem. I'm right here. I'm listening. What do you need from me? And I think that's I think that's the difference. I think it's that demand on their presence with the person when they're with someone.
Lynn: 42:43
Well, you know what That's reminding me up. I think one of your early interviews was Warwick Schiller?
Nikki: 42:50
Yep, my very 1st 1 Lynn the
Lynn: 42:52
one eyed at 1st 1 fear because he bust. You know, somehow Facebook figured out I was into this, and so they started feeding me his stuff. And now I eat it up with a spoon, right? So much of what he the journey he is on is so similar to the journey I've been on not necessarily around the horse's but around, connecting to the deeper part of myself and learning how to listen and really hear the kind accused that people are giving me and, you know, he applies it also to the horses. Yeah, and this sounds exactly like the kind of training he's talking about where he like. And he's transformed, even in the last few years, about really connecting with the horses that he's hearing. Yeah, and I had a of sorts, a real experience here, Where when I just wanna get on a horse and not have a lesson, I go. We have a really cool trail ride near me where we're riding on very steep hills. We go through a creek, the horses all have personalities. They're they're not. None of them are shut down. They're all very well trained and very calm. But I do all also still try to pay attention to their signs of relaxation. And, you know, they also have favorite horses that they wanna walk near and not walk near. Right? And I was on a new horse one day as we were going out. I'm sitting on the horse in the barn and as the biggest horse went out, this, I could just feel this horse didn't like him, and I in my mind like sort of acknowledged that this horse just blew out like, completely relaxed, like she hears me. And I thought, How the hell did that horse Just hear me. But I think Warwick Schiller showing us, they they actually were tuned in at that level.
Nikki: 44:47
There's a really cool exercise that he started talking a little bit more about, and it's not. I don't even know if it's necessarily an exercise for horses as much as just a exercise for us mentally, but where he would put a horse on it on a circle around him and he would make sure that his zero asks, His lowest ask was just thinking for that horse to move off of him to move out. And he said, the amount of horses now that he's very in tune that step out off of that thought versus having to use any physical Q is amazing. and I think that's exactly what you're talking about. Is really tuning into the fact that our horses hear us on a different level than we would ever be able to just naturally be like Oh, yeah, for sure. I mean, some people really know some people have different abilities than others and are connected on different levels. But you know, when we're not that in tune and we know that that we place our own, you know, we we place human emotions and human communication on all animals that we interact with, right, So we really try to humanize them in our interactions. So the idea that someone or something can communicate with us off of a feeling or thought er and energy, just it. It's so far from our existence sometimes that it doesn't feel like it's ever possible. So then we never start there. We always start with a higher level of pressure, which would be something physical or verbal. I have an interesting story, actually about, my trip to Costa Rica and our ability to tune into that energetic communication. And I had never experienced this in my life, and I do believe there's, I think, the place that I was in Costa Rica. It's called a Blue zone. It's one of, like one of yeah blue zones in the world or something. I can't remember if it's seven or eight or how many, and so is in NoZahra, Costa Rica. And I was there with a really close friend of mine. So this certain friend, we've been friends since high school early high school, and she's not the type of person that I speak to every day. We're not together All of the time we live in different cities, will go years without speaking, and then all of a sudden something happens and one of us reaches out and we're connected the same way that We've always been connected. So I hadn't seen her in quite some time. And I went and she lives in the same city as my mom. So I was there for a night and I messages her. I said, You want to go to a movie or No, it was probably some sort of event I typically invited to go to these crazy events that nobody else really wants to go to with me. And, So I said to her that the trip I said, Listen, like, I just booked a trip to Costa Rica and I think you should come. And she was like, That is totally on my bucket bucket list. Yes, for sure. I'm coming. Like no questions asked. She didn't say I'm gonna ask my boyfriend. She was like, Absolutely. I'm gonna be there. I was like, Okay, we go in November's like, Okay, Sounds good. So we go on this trip and we have to share a room, and so I'm really comfortable with her anyway, So sharing a room is not a big deal. But the very first day, we were literally in classes for eight hours a day. Like this wasn't a retreat that you go on and you're just relaxing. This was hard work. And so the very first day we were there, I think it was probably, like, five or six o'clock in the afternoon and my head was pounding So hard, I get really, really bad headaches when I'm going through a lot of transformative thought. And so I'm sitting on the edge of my bed and she was actually drying her hair. So she had her back to me, and she had her head flip down and she was drying her hair with her hair dryer on. And I looked across from my bed and I looked at the table and there was a bottle of Advil on the table and in my head I went, Oh, my gosh, I wish I could just get her to hand that to me. As soon as the thought crossed my mind, she switched off the hair dryer, grabbed the bottle of Advil, handed it to me, and then went back to doing her hair. And I looked at her and I was like, Why did you just do that? And she was like, I have no idea. I have no idea, she said. I just I just thought you needed it. And I was like, Okay, that has never happened anywhere else in my life. It has never happened again since, but it really showed me the power of the energy in that specific spot. And I feel like I was at such an open, vulnerable state, and we've had we have such a close connection that it just was able to happen.
Lynn: 49:48
I love that story. And as soon as you started, you see, I kind of knew where it had to be going because I actually had it happened. And, you know, I think we've all had that experience when we think of a friend and we look down on baby protects to disturb their call. Right? And that's happened to me more times than I can count. And when I, you know, worked, actually, after the podcast that you heard me do with Bruce Anderson next one coming out, I actually was on their podcast woody tails. It hasn't come out yet, but it was right after he finally, for the first time in all the training I've done with him, he actually put me on his horse, Marley Nice. And and as we were working and we were in just in the round pin. But as we were working, there came a moment where he took the bridle off, And he said, Now, I just want you to work with your your lower body. But more importantly, I want you to work with your mind, and I want to see if you can work with him and move him with nothing more than your picture. And there were several moments, not 100% of the time by any means. I was definitely having to use my my legs to some degree, but with no bridle I was able to go at different times, get him to work in a figure eight with just my intention. And it was it was very surreal. And yet also, I'm gonna use the word hopeful. Because I've found that I could see a path where being able to create those kind of pictures with the people I work with and the leaders I help trained to do this It's like this has come into our conversations Now. when we say leaders were supposed to have a vision to Me, it's like another word for vision is a picture. And if you're so clear on the picture, then you can enroll other people to help you create that picture. Absolutely. And
Nikki: 51:50
Have you Lynn, I'm gonna interrupt you for a second, because it like, if I forget to say this, I'm gonna feel devastated. Have you looked into mind movies at all? So Dr Joe just spends a talks about them a lot.
Lynn: 52:04
I know Joe. Yeah,
Nikki: 52:06
so he has some training on mind movies, and I'm a visual person in the sense that I use visualization techniques in my life, but it's I feel like it's a little different because I don't actually see pictures in my mind, ever. so and I know a lot of people I, you know, getting in to How people think is always so interesting. But I know people have a hard time understanding that sometimes that I literally like if I shut my eyes, there's no there's no pictures like I've never seen a picture in my mind. So when I visualized, it's more about feeling than anything else, which I think works really well when it comes to visualizing things with my horses because it all comes down to feeling. But these mind movies that he talks about is doing exactly what you're talking about where you create such a clear picture that your energy just hyper focus is you to be able to go towards that. It's what you see, and it brings, situations and people and circumstances all in your favor to be able to actually bring that to a reality.
Lynn: 53:22
Well, I love Joe dispenza and we will put this in the show notes for sure. Friends will look into this because the other thing that I have seen him do that I think comes down to that feeling you're talking about is that he's got some amazing ways of breathing. it helps kind of clear some of the distortions that we end up within our energy field. because I don't think a lot of us recognize with our energy and with our feeling and the feelings that we put out into the world. but this kind of back to that congruence is well, but if we are feeling disconnected, angry, uncertain, that were still carrying stuff, if we are, if that's in our energy field, it's coming through almost like static when we're working with other people. And he's got some really cool ways to clear that up with breath.
Nikki: 54:16
Yeah, I think the breath work is really cool, too, because, as horse people, maybe it's a little easier to see the power of breath, because when you're working with a horse, you can it's audible right. You can actually hear the change in their breath as they go through different emotional states. So maybe it becomes a little more clear. But I think it's so easy for people to Hear the words you need to take a deep breath and know that it's something that, like it, didn't come out of nowhere. People didn't just start saying Take a deep breath just for fun but to actually know the power behind it to understand the healing power of breath alone is life changing. And it's one of those things, like when you were talking about going out into the field with that horse and it's triggering a little bit of fear or whole lot of fear and understanding that if you can focus on your breath and really control your breathing, that's a really great place to be able to start learning how to regulate your emotions and regulate your physiological response to your emotions. And I think that's the most important part for people to understand is that when you start to change your thoughts and your emotions, then you're actually changing the chemistry in your body and that chemical reaction. You know so often when we have these crazy thoughts, then it gets so far that we don't have control over the chemical reaction that then results and then the feelings that happen and it's almost like this, like out of control loop that we hop onto, versus if we learn how to catch it at the beginning.
Lynn: 56:10
And, you know, are you familiar with heart math?
Nikki: 56:13
yes. I have another amazing story. I'm not gonna tell you cause we'll be here all day.
Lynn: 56:19
Well, I just I won't go into them. Amazing this story. I mean, but I'm sitting here looking at my little heart math. Dude device that I use regularly
Nikki: 56:27
should take a photo because I literally, like, I'm, like, three feet away from my heart math box right now.
Lynn: 56:34
So we both just heart math, and we won't arrive in too much because you're right. We will be here all day, but, but we might have to have a part two in fact. I cannot want having a part two, the nice thing about heart math with the breath Work is, if you can find that rhythm and how heart math help me find it, restore your body back to its congruent state, and it's the being able to get to that breathing under pressure. And I think this is why we have to work under pressure just from the forces trying under pressure so that we can access that part of ourselves at will. It is so important. And I love having a device like a heartMath to Give that clear feedback
Nikki: 57:17
And it's so important for people to understand it's possible. Yes, and you know, it's funny because we know that it's possible for our horses and we expect it of our horses. But, you know, this is this is something that I've been doing a lot of thinking on lately is this, the language around anxiety for people the language around, our response to our anxiety and the claiming, the claiming of our anxiety. My anxiety made me do that.
Lynn: 57:55
I know. hell, yes. And it's It's as if you're giving a natural human chemical response the power to run you rather than ay Oh, I'm having that experience. We think the experience is and it's not Yeah,
Nikki: 58:11
and feeling like I am just an anxious person that the terms well, that that that sentence alone, I am just Well, we could talk about that all day, I'm sure. But I am just an anxious person. You, when you lay claim to that language, it's it's life altering in a way that you don't want it to alter your life, right? So
Lynn: 58:38
given it the power over 100% and I actually don't even like using the word anxious because I call it Fear Soup. Yeah, accurate. Very a multitude of things. And as soon as you start saying I am anything right, start laying claim to it. So I had that same bug, a boo myself is that for people to stop letting it run them, but to actually give it that pause? And I call it that pivot point to power where you recognize it, and then you go back and side rather than going into my whatever fear soup is and eating the cookie or doing the thing I do to resolve it, whether it's working too much or getting in a dizziness or whatever is actually start questioning the feeling and giving it a new story and saying, this is just my physiology, doing what my physiology does, Does that mean I have to own it? It hasn't had to own me, either.
Nikki: 59:37
The story is so important, so important. But the other important part of this and this is for anyone who's listening right now. And you you suffer from, anxious thoughts and anxious feelings, and you really get stuck there. I want everyone to understand there is literally zero shame in feeling anxiety and having that anxiety take hold and making you feel out of control. There's no shame in that. But there is a responsibility there that if you don't want to be there, that you release your claim on it and you start taking the steps towards learning how to regain that control over your mind and body and understanding that it is 100% possible. But it's a lot of work, and it's a lot of hard work. the best part of the whole thing, though, is that there are so many people in this world right now that we have access to because of the way of the world that no, no one in this world right now is alone in it. No one is alone in there in there anxious world or in whatever they want to call it, and there's so many people, whether it be someone like you or myself or Dr Joseph Joe Dispenser who does it it like you know this level that's way above my head that I just like I aspire to be able To be 1/4 of what he is knowledge and energy wise. But there's there's so much access to information these days that, you know, no one stuck. We're not stuck. And if you don't want to feel the way you're feeling, it's possible to change 100%.
Lynn: 1:1:31
That is such an amazing message. And I'm so glad you said that because there is no shame in being human and not doing what you feel. I've had it happen to me. And it just thank God for my training, or one night I had a panic attack not that long ago because I had Sinus drainage that made me think I couldn't breathe right. I think I could have actually died a fright if I hadn't had the awareness that oh, I can stop and breathe through my mouth right as opposed
Nikki: 1:2:04
doesn't just come down to safety the Lynn because, right, they're busy. Physically, you felt unsafe. And when we look at people who are being triggered by their anxiety, it's a lack of safety For whatever reason, and I think it's really important that people understand that it's their responsibility To Discover what is making them feel so unsafe. And how do they shift from that place into a place that is more aligned with who they truly are? And in order to be able to do that, they have to create a new story around it as well.
Lynn: 1:2:42
And the beautiful thing about what you're saying is we have the power to do that. And, yeah, we don't do it alone. , no. I watched Brenee Brown on 60 Minutes this week, and I love her message around then Inequality. And I love what she said, she said, We are not meant to do this alone. No, we are hardwired to be in community and to help each other. And it also is very, very powerful to understand that we have best this sort of access to the deeper, truer self of who we are, and we can help each other find that in ourselves. Yeah, so very
Nikki: 1:3:23
it might. It might be a little difficult for people right now, because, you know, we are in a place of of social distancing. This is a situation that none of us have ever experienced. Yes, the world has experienced something like this in the past, but not actually not. Not at this day and age with this amount of technology, with this amount of people feeling connected all of the time and then all of a sudden were at home. And I mean, there are skills that people knew in the past that we don't know Now. I don't know how to garden. right,
Lynn: 1:3:58
I'm trying. but I'm not good at it,
Nikki: 1:4:00
right? So there's so many things that are different about our world today, that even though it's somewhat of a familiar situation because other pandemics have happened, this situation is very unique. And, you know, a lot of people right now are gonna feel super alone. But this is, in my opinion, this is where the shift can happen is that when you're feeling really alone right now, it gives an opportunity to go into a place with yourself that you can do a major. I want to say transformation, but doesn't seem like the right word. But you can go through a shift personally that you have so much time on your own you can learn how to meditate. You can learn the power of breath. You can do all of those things and we can still connect. And I feel like people are connecting on a different level right now than they were before because we're hyper hyper aware we're hyper aware of our need for that connection. And when we can get on a call like this a zoom call with our buddies A phone call with our mom or whatever it might be something that makes us just tap back into that need for connection. And then we go, Oh, and you feel that relief. It be great if people could appreciate the connection to people in their lives on the other side of this whole upheaval. the same way that they're feeling it right now.
Lynn: 1:5:38
That's beautiful, because, I mean, you and I didn't know each other till today. No. Yet look at how we have connected. And, it's as if I've known you forever.
Nikki: 1:5:49
Isn't it funny how that happens with people? So it's funny. Did you have you ever heard of the book Old soul guidebook? The Old souls guidebook. I have it in my I should be able to see it from where I am right now., I can't.
Lynn: 1:6:05
I'll Make a link to this for the show notes.
Nikki: 1:6:07
Did I know that it's up there? I don't know who wrote it, and I can't see it on my, on my bookshelf from where I am. But what it talks about there is really interesting because it actually talks about, finding those people in your life that you feel really connected to right away. And you're like, Why do I Why do I, like, feel so comfortable with this person right away? Why do I feel like we've known each other and it explains that, and I'm not gonna go into it cause again we'll talk all day, but it's, it's something. I think you would really enjoy it. I think it's really cool.
Lynn: 1:6:41
I'm definitely going to check it out as well as all these other links. And I have two questions as we close up. Sure. Second question is gonna be how people can connect with you. But this is my big question for you. Go back to where we started and you kind of alluded to this But in the in this time that we're in as we are facing unprecedented things that we've never faced is for sure in modern world. Absolute. Um, we are in the middle of a shift, and I do see a lot of people seeing this as a shift to a worse world. But I actually saying it is a shift to a better world, and I'm definitely hearing in what you're saying. You're hearing the same thing. So how do you How would you describe your sort of picture or vision for this world and the possibilities of what we could shift to as a result of this? You know, people that were in the middle of
Nikki: 1:7:39
Well, that's a really big question. Lynn. I really like it. What I see. I see a lot of people who are going to shift from a life that they didn't necessarily appreciate, and they're going to start to be a little more grateful for what they have So interesting small conversation I had this morning. my sister's boyfriend is staying with us right now because his horses in Nova Scotia and his home is in New Brunswick, and that means that if he was to go home, he wouldn't be able to see his horse. So He is staying with us for now. And he's an electrician's and he looked at me this morning. He said, I'd really like to go to work. Look, I'd really like to go back to work now and I said, Well, isn't that funny? The amount of times that we say, Oh my gosh, like I don't want to go to work today. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do that. I just want to have more time at home. I want to do my own thing and then all of a sudden people are saying I want to go back to work like, so what is it that's making them want to go back to work? Is it the opportunity to connect with different people outside? Is it to make them feel useful? Is it to get their bodies up and moving whatever it might be? But if you're at home and feeling like, I just want to go back to work, especially if for the last however many years have been complaining about that very job and try to think, What is it that's making you feel like you want to go back to work and maybe you're at home going I don't want to go back. And if you're sitting at home and saying I don't want to go back, maybe it's a time to reflect on why you don't want to go back. And maybe there's a change that needs to happen in your life. I know for my family, my husband's been saying for a long time, Man, we need to slow down like we just need life to slow down for us a little bit. We need to be able to spend more time with our daughter. We need to be able to spend more time with each other and and actually a, you know, appreciate and enjoy the life that we're building versus just hustling and and constantly on the go and then, uh, everything shut down. And he's like going crazy like, this is what you asked for. You asked for our life to slow down. And now what? Like why we if we're asking if we're getting the very thing we've been asking for and then we're still complaining. Then what exactly do we want? This is a fantastic opportunity for people to reflect on what makes you happy. Are you only saying and complaining about things that make you unhappy because it gives you something to talk about? Or are you truly unhappy in those things? And if that's the case, this is amazing. Time to make some shifts. This is going to shift my husband in mind and and myself, it's going to shift our business entirely. know that our life is going to be different on the other side of this. Our daughter will spend more time with us. we're going to end up shifting our business more probably into the online space so that we can do that. And I think the other thing is that people are gonna realize that that's a possibility. that a lot of things that we thought we had to do we actually can do in a different way and maybe a bit more aligned with being able to stay and connect with your family a little bit more and connect with yourself a little bit more that I think one of the coolest things. Who was? I went to a talk given by Elizabeth Gilbert and she spoke about her partner had become very sick with cancer, and she was given a short amount of time to live. And in her talk, she spoke about the fact that, you know, we're always saying, Well, I can't do that and I can't do this. And I have to do this and I have to do that. And then when somebody gets sick, when something happens in your life, that becomes a top priority. All of those things you thought were a priority leave, right? So I don't have to go there. I'm not going there. Don't have to have that conversation. I'm not making that trip. I don't have to make supper anymore. All of those things that we thought we had no choice about all of a sudden become a non choice. They're like, out the door, right? And I think this is a similar sort of feeling where we thought that we had to do so many things, and it's not the case at all, and I think that's probably gonna be the most important thing for everybody to take out of this is that we can make different choices in our life that actually align with who we are and what we want and really focus. What exactly is it that we want? this is a fantastic time to to discover that. Does that answer your question?
Lynn: 1:12:56
It's a beautiful answer. Okay, it's It's right in alignment with the kind of fun thing I've discovered. Working with myself and with others is a lot of times we think we don't know what we want, but we sure do put a lot of expectations on ourselves that it already on our own, you know, they can't bother people. And so I think it's a good time to tune in to what you are here to do on this planet. and not what other people are here to get you to do for them. So I love that so how can people find you. Well,
Nikki: 1:13:31
I am on Facebook, NikkiPorter coaching.
Lynn: 1:13:38
And that's in I k K I.
Nikki: 1:13:40
Yep. Porter coaching. And I believe my instagram is Nikki Porter coaching as well. and my websites Nikki porter.ca and yes. Oh, I'm I'm in the process right now. of building in online workshop for whole horse owners where I start to really dig into the mindset and the mental process of becoming a better person that will then make us a better horseman or horsewoman and so, you know, stay tuned for that. It's gonna come out on the website soon, and I have quite a few things kind of in the works right now. And you Can go on my website In my book, the conscious communicator can't speak anymore conscious communicators there and, yeah, reach out to me connect with me. I love talking to people from all over. It's so amazing to hear this common thread that's being weaved among the horse community right now. The whole world, really. But the horse community, I really feel like, maybe it's just because I'm in it, But there's a special sort of change happening in here.
Lynn: 1:14:54
I think there is. I heard somebody say it was actually the guy that ran, Netflix said, You know, he saw the video change much like the change, but from the horse to the car, meaning that for 5000 years of humanity, horses were our primary transportation and then we shifted to cars. And now most people don't even know how to ride a horse or how to interact with the horse. Yeah, and it's just entirely possible that the world could go in a way that we might all need horses again, if not for our own psychi, but for ours.
Nikki: 1:15:28
Oh, yeah, I I believe they play a very important role in humanity. And every every generation were having To experience them in a different way or need them in a different way. And, right now, I think we're seeing a shift where we're starting to discover their true freezing for being with people. not from a place of service physically, but from a different place. And I know that might be a little woo for some people, but I think when you look at the difference surfaces that are being offered with equine therapy and, you know, assisted learning and that sort of thing, I think that they're making an impact on our world now just as much, if not more, than they ever did.
Lynn: 1:16:17
They really are amazing reflection and mirror to us. And for somebody like me who could be completely full of it. I need that.
Nikki: 1:16:27
We all can be
Lynn: 1:16:28
I need something that won't lie to me? Because I can sure lie to myself. So, I have I've definitely really been. I don't know. I don't even know the word, but they have just sort of entered my re entered my life after being the little girl that wanted to do nothing but riding horses to be in my sixties and really starting it at that age is is pretty darn amazing. And I can't imagine that there's gonna be a time in the rest of my life that I'm not somehow involved with horses, so
Nikki: 1:16:57
that is amazing. I keep thinking I need to tell you congratulations, because that's to start something at an age where you know, when I was Oh, gosh, let's say we'll go to, like, 10 when I was 10 my perception of what you do at 60 versus what you actually do it 60 right? So we all feel like of all when I when I'm a certain age, then I'm not gonna learn anything new, and I'm you know, there's that you feel like there's a downward spiral that's gonna hit at some point, and, you know, I don't think there's a downward at all. I think I think that you just become more who you were and more in tune with what you actually want. And then as time allows it because we get a little more time freedom with age than, um and maybe finances. They allow it as well. Then we, we just want to become more than more of who we are. So congratulations, That's amazing.
Lynn: 1:17:58
It's it's really pretty. It's really pretty cool that I get to do this. And of course, you know, you probably know I'm also a water skier and now than I'm learning how to row a skull with a skull. but what I'm recognizing is the only thing that I'm limited by is my thoughts. And so absolutely I can I can.
Nikki: 1:18:18
That's right. That's that's fantastic.
Lynn: 1:18:22
I cannot thank you enough for taking the time today for making this work. And, being on being on my podcast, I know my listers are gonna get so much out of this and we will be if I have to figure out how to do a part, too, because I have 1000 questions yet to go Well,
Nikki: 1:18:40
no problem, Lin, before we go, why don't you? I'm gonna share this on my podcast as well, because I'm just gonna do it as, like a bonus episode, I think, because where it's so connected to what's happening right now in the world, I think I want to publish it kind of sooner than I expected. So I'd love if you could just share, you know, where can we find you? And what? Give me a little synopsis of your podcast itself And people, you know what they're looking for
Lynn: 1:19:10
Sure So my podcast is called creative spirits unleashed. And, as you know, the people who listen have learned I talk a lot. We are We are focusing on balance and how to find that sort of true self of who you are underneath. And that's pretty much the basic basis of my coaching as well. So my website is LynnCarnes.com. And that's to l Y N N C a r n e s. com I'm on Facebook as creative spirits unleashed and also on instagram as creative spirits unleashed. So my Facebook and actually linkedin as Well, actually, link. Then you find me under my name, lynn Carnes, and I'm really active on lengthen and Facebook in terms of posting a lot of stuff in
Nikki: 1:19:59
Cool. Maybe I'll have to get some teaching on Linkedin from you. I'm on there, but I'm not on there. I
Lynn: 1:20:05
would be glad to give you some of the ropes and how to manage because I think a lot of what you do is for A LinkedIn leadership Audience. Yeah, I also wrote I've got a book out on Amazon called The Delicate Art. How nice.
Nikki: 1:20:19
I'm gonna write that
Lynn: 1:20:19
down to say no and unleash your performance. And I have a Tedtalk out there as well called from raging Bitch to engaging Coach the power. That's amazing. Well, I'm and I'm except soon to publish a book on that exact topic of how not to ascribe motive to people who don't have a bad motive. So awesome. how to assume Positive intent
Nikki: 1:20:44
oh, my gosh, I am very much looking forward to that. That is a whole other topic all on its own. For us to talk about remind me that we need to discuss that next time.
Lynn: 1:20:55
Next time we will thank you so much Nicky and I look forward to our future conversations and my best. Unless I will be looking for your program so I can have it in in my ear when I'm writing.
Nikki: 1:21:05
Great. Thanks, Lynn. Thanks for having me
Lynn: 1:21:07
Take care. Take care. Thank you for listening to the creative spirits unleashed podcast. I started this podcast because I was having these great conversations and I wanted to share them with others. I'm always learning in these conversations, and I wanted to share that kind of learning with you. Now, what I need to hear from you is what you want more of and what you want less off. I really want these podcasts to be a value for the listeners. Also, if you happen to know someone who you think might love them, please share the podcast. And, of course, subscribe and write it on the different APS that you're using. Because that's how others will find it. Now I hope you go and do something very fun today.
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