CC&P 16: Lemme Ox You A Question (Lunar New Year)

[Intro music playing.]

SAREENA:
Hello, my favourite fried potatoes! Lovely to see you here for another episode of CC & P. It’s the Lunar New Year! And in Chinese Zodiac, that means it’s the Year of the Ox! So for all you oxen out there, 2021 is your year! Now, before we continue further, it is only fitting that Melissa and I read you the predictions of the new year by reading out the horoscope we found on the internet, and more specifically - thechinesezodiac.org. Here’s how 2021 is going to go down, you ready?

"This year is going to be lucky and also perfect to focus on relationships, whether we are talking about friendship or love. In the Chinese Zodiac, the Ox is very hardworking and methodical. 2021 is going to be a year when work will get rewarded. The Yin energy, specific to the Ox, will be quite poignant. This is going to be a year when we will feel fully the weight of our responsibilities, a year when it is necessary to double our efforts to accomplish anything.

White is the colour of the year but for Oxen, the other lucky colours include yellow and green, colours that, in Feng Shui, attract prosperity and success.

This year, no explosive or catastrophic events will occur, so it is a favourite year for economic recovery or consolidation, a year of long-term investments (especially for creating a reserve stock for the coming unproductive years).

2021 is a year when all the problems get solved with discipline. A lot of discipline! Obviously, with an extra effort from us in organising our time."

...So what do you think about that prediction, Melissa?

MELISSA:
[cracking up continuously] I mean, it's uh... it's poignant in more ways than one, I'll say that much!

SAREENA:
I mean, I like this! I want this one to be right!

[Both laughing.]

MELISSA:
I mean.... sounds promising! Sure hope it comes to pass with no catastrophic events!

SAREENA:
Yeah, that'd be really nice, you know?

MELISSA:
Oh my goodness.

SAREENA:
A nice break for everybody.

MELISSA:
It would be, wouldn't it?

SAREENA:
What's your zodiac sign, Melissa?

MELISSA:
So I happen to be a dragon...

SAREENA:
Ooh!

MELISSA:
Oh yeah, I've been looking into this. I am an Earth Dragon, apparently.

SAREENA:
Oh, very nice! And out of the 12 animals, I think it's probably the best one to be.

MELISSA:
Hehehehehe.

SAREENA:
Because I am... a monkey. [boing sound effect]

[Both laughing.]

MELISSA:
You certainly are!

SAREENA:
Yaaaay! So I'm gonna read yours, and everybody, let's collectively think if this is what Melissa truly is.

MELISSA:
Oh boy, okay. Do it.

SAREENA:
So, this is also from thechinesezodiac.org, so:
"The Dragon is a symbol of money and luck, a Dragon in the house brings good fortune. Exotic and dynamic, Dragons are free spirits and essentially a law unto themselves. All members born into this Sign tend to be extremely charismatic. They invariably lead a high-profile existence, since they like to court the limelight", eh Melissa?

MELISSA:
Uhhhhh....

SAREENA:
"They are fortunate individuals, seemingly watched over by Lady Luck, for no matter what mishap occurs, they always seem to land on their feet and walk away smiling. Truly original and extroverted, their enthusiasm is contagious and their optimism has the power to brighten even the gloomiest of days." Which I think is right, basically.

MELISSA:
Yeah, I agree, actually.

SAREENA:
That last one, like any time I talk to you I'm like 'yaaassss, day is now happy!'

MELISSA:
Yaaaaay! Aww, I'm glad, 'cause there are some things I take issue with in that description, but the rest seems pretty okay!

[Both laughing.]

SAREENA:
Yeah, no I think it's pretty spot on, you know. Especially the 'taking the law unto themselves, free-spirited'... you do you, Melissa!

MELISSA:
Oh, I'm doing me, all right! [laughs] Pulled up yours, so you're the Monkey, so this is also from the same website, because I think it was the first hit on Google.

"Monkey:
Witty, amusing, and full of life, Monkeys are highly entertaining people with one of the sharpest minds of all the Animal Signs. The clever, quick-witted Monkey is able to dance rings around everyone else. Members of this group are bright, alert creatures, who are able to size up a situation in the twinkling of an eye" - [boink sound effect] -  "and comfortably adapt to any circumstance or company in which they find themselves. Masters and mistresses of, uh.... psychological penetration..."

[Both cracking up.]

SAREENA:
Oh my!

MELISSA:
Goodness gracious, Sareena! "They have an inborn understanding of what makes people tick. Of course this is a talent that comes in handy with their everyday social dealings, but it also enables them to manipulate people, and engineer situations to their own advantage." Hmmm... "Charming, funny, and full of hijinks, there’s never a dull moment when a Monkey is around."

SAREENA:
I mean, that was sounding all promising until it came to, you know, I'm a master manipulator of everything... [laughs]

MELISSA:
Honestly, this does sound very much like you, but uh... 'mistress of psychological penetration', huh? I'm going to be wary of you now.

SAREENA:
[laughing] Yeah. [mystical hypnosis sound effect throughout] "You WILL buy me that takeaway, you WILL buy me the takeaway!"

MELISSA:
NEVER! "Oh no I guess I should- you know what I really feel like today? I feel like buying Sareena a takeaway..."

SAREENA:
But it's what I need, Melissa! You're so giving! So truly brighten my day...

[Laughter from both.]

MELISSA:
Oh my god, stop that! I just think it's very cool, 'cause obviously, growing up Vietnamese, the zodiac means a lot to us, and they always have animals that you're not compatible with, animals that you ARE compatible with. And it's cool because there's also variations between the different cultures of what animals are actually included in the zodiac.

SAREENA:
Oh yeah?

MELISSA:
For example, most people know the rat, ox, tiger, you know, rabbit, all of that? The Vietnamese lunar calendar, like the zodiac, we don't have rabbits, it's actually a cat instead! [meow sound effect]

SAREENA:
Oooh!

MELISSA:
Yeah, there's other differences too, I think it was the... in Thailand or something instead of a dragon it's a naga, and somewhere else instead of an ox it's a water buffalo? Stuff like that.

SAREENA:
Oh, okay, yeah. I mean, it makes sense, because obviously each country or culture wants to make it their own, and so possibly the animals are more of what they see in their lands. You know, maybe someone has water buffalo over oxen and they're like, 'yeah, we'll go with you.'

MELISSA:
Yeah, there definitely aren't that many rabbits in Vietnam, I'll tell you that much.

SAREENA:
Is there lots of cats?

MELISSA:
Oh, tons.

SAREENA:
Well then. Then that makes sense, doesn't it.

[Laughter from both sides.]

SAREENA:
What's your favourite thing about the Lunar New Year?

MELISSA:
I mean.... the food?

[Both cracking up.]

MELISSA:
The food, and the red envelopes, and the one thing that I am missing about this year's new years is obviously - the whole family gets together.

SAREENA:
Yeah.

MELISSA:
And obviously we can't do that, but it's like a full day celebration in my family, and at dinner time when we sit down we are more than 30 people. [sparkly 'wow!' sound effect] Oh my god, it's all of my aunts, all of my uncles, all of my cousins... me, we have other family members, we have my grandparents, obviously, and it's just a big huge day of just eating, just going over to my grandparents' house and eating everything.

SAREENA:
Like any good festival, it is just all about the food, isn't it? [laughs]

MELISSA:
[laughing too] It is, it is, yeah. And my grandparents, they make us say what we have to say in order to earn our red envelopes with money, so.

SAREENA:
What's been the lowest sum and the greatest sum you've ever received in a red envelope?

MELISSA:
Oh my god. So, the lowest sum has been a lotto ticket from my uncle.

SAREENA:
[cracking up]

MELISSA:
It's a running tradition with him, though, he gives it to everybody so it's not just like 'oh here, I forgot to give you money so here's a lotto ticket though'.

SAREENA:
But if Lady Luck is on your side, then hopefully the 1 dollar or 1 pound ticket should amount to something quite great!

MELISSA:
Oh yeah. It's also a running gag that he says that if you win - [casino slots and cash out sound effect] - you have to split it with him. [laughs]

SAREENA:
That's also fair.

MELISSA:
No one's ever won, it's fine! Yeah, the largest amount has been a couple hundred, depending.

SAREENA:
Ooh, nice.

MELISSA:
My grandparents are highrollers, they can handle- it's fine, that's how they show affection because they can't remember our names.

SAREENA:
Yeah, that tends to happen with big families, you kind of all roll into one, or your grandmother just keeps going until she finds the right name, and you're like 'ohhh, yes, you're Sareena!' I'm like 'yes, hello!'

MELISSA:
[laughing] Yep, that's exactly it, yeah. It's very funny, they just cycle through all the names, like it's your sister's name, or your aunt, I'm like 'no.... keep going, you're getting closer...'

SAREENA:
Warmer, warmer!

MELISSA:
I mean, like I said, when we're 30+ at dinner I can forgive that, there's a lot of names to remember.

SAREENA:
Yeah. Maybe nametags would be a good thing to introduce.

MELISSA:
[cracking up]

[cymbals and drums music sound effect]

SAREENA:
Let me start us off with our zodiac/lunar new year questions. So, obviously we've just discussed I am monkey, you are dragon; would you rather have the abilities of your zodiac animal all through the year, but it's a limited version of those abilities?

MELISSA:
Okay?

SAREENA:
Or become your actual zodiac animal on the day of the Lunar New Year?

MELISSA:
You know, we really have to stop doing this, maybe we should be screening our questions, because I have something that's quite similar!

[Both cracking up.]

SAREENA:
Our fates are intertwined!

MELISSA:
Honestly, I think they are! One more time, so a watered-down version of your powers all the time?

SAREENA:
Yeah, so you're a dragon, imagine that you would have the ability to breathe fire, but it's just enough to light a candle.

MELISSA:
Ooooh! That's fun!

SAREENA:
You would be stronger than normal, because obviously dragons are kind of strong, and maybe slightly taller?

MELISSA:
Do you know how happy I would be if I was taller?? That's all I've ever wanted in my life!

SAREENA:
You're already tall! Don't hog it all, god!

MELISSA:
I am not that tall, I'm average height!

SAREENA:
[sadly] You're not, I'm average height... [laughs]

MELISSA:
What?? Aren't you the same height as me?

SAREENA:
....No?

MELISSA:
You know what, let's talk about this later. [laughing]

SAREENA:
Choose!

MELISSA:
And then the other one was to turn fully into the animal, but on the day of, what, my birthday, was it?

SAREENA:
No, of the lunar new year.

MELISSA:
Oh, the day of the lunar new year. Wow... turning into a dragon one day of the year would be pretty fantastic.

SAREENA:
Mmhmm.

MELISSA:
So is this just me, or is it everybody born this year?

SAREENA:
[laughs] Surprise, dragons all round! No, I'm just gonna limit this to just yourself.

MELISSA:
Just yourself, okay. Oh man, one day isn't enough, though! I think I'm gonna go with the lowkey powers but for every day-

SAREENA:
Really?

MELISSA:
- I think it'd be really cool. I think so!

SAREENA:
You wanna burst into a dragon - you know, first moonlight of the lunar new year? 'Haha, I'm here!'

MELISSA:
'Surprise!' I mean, but what good would that do me the rest of the year, huh?

SAREENA:
Bring you unbridled joy that you know that every day you're getting closer to the lunar new year again to become your truest form!

MELISSA:
I mean, that's fun too. No, no, but I like the mundanity of just being weird but not weird enough.. I kind of really like that, for some reason.

SAREENA:
Okay.

MELISSA:
Already, being able to breathe fire, being super strong and being taller, you've already caught my attention, okay?

SAREENA:
[laughs] Damn it.

[Laughter from both.]

MELISSA:
What about you, though?

SAREENA:
I mean, I'm a monkey, so I don't- if I was like a gorilla, then I would totally go for being a gorilla-

MELISSA:
[cracking up]

SAREENA:
-but I'm just a monkey, so it's like I'm imagining I'm a chimpanzee kinda monkey, so I think I would enjoy having maybe a bit more flexibility, have the ability to climb a tree, just generally.

[Both laughing.]

SAREENA:
So I'll also take the limited abilities of my monkey for the year as well.

MELISSA:
Yeah, that's fair. Do you get to choose what breed of monkey you'd be, or?

SAREENA:
I don't know, just whatever the monkey is, of the zodiac - it's that, I guess. But I just kind of imagined- yeah, I could just swing about a bit more... might be a bit faster, running on all fours?

[Both cracking up.]

MELISSA:
Give you a prehensile tail so you can grab things with it.

SAREENA:
Yeah, like maybe if I want my tail to be out, so I can swing upside down from a tree, then yeah sure, but I wouldn't want to have my tail just all the time there.

MELISSA:
It'd be great, though!

SAREENA:
I know, but it'd just ... you'd have to alter all of your trousers, and just ugh...

MELISSA:
[laughing] That's your biggest concern?

SAREENA:
Hey, I discussed this in the takeaway episode, convenience and comfort is number one, okay?

[More laughter.]

MELISSA:
Very true.

SAREENA:
What have you got? What's your similar question?

MELISSA:
Okay. I mean, I've lucked out as far as zodiacs go, so ha ha ha haaa... [cymbals and drums music sound effect] All right, so, Sareena?

SAREENA:
Mmhmm?

MELISSA:
Would you rather be a Sailor Scout/superhero based on the powers of your western zodiac, or on the powers of your eastern zodiac?

SAREENA:
What's my western zodiac?

MELISSA:
You know, it's your star sign.

SAREENA:
Ooh! Oh, oh okay, so I'm a Taurus -

MELISSA:
Yep.

SAREENA:
So... I'm either a bull or a monkey, I mean... they're both very earth-bound creatures.

[Both cracking up again.]

MELISSA:
But which powers would you rather have as a superhero/Sailor Scout?

SAREENA:
At least with being a Taurus I would be super strong. I'd have the bulk behind me, so I could be the tank in any operation here. With the monkey... you know, I'd obviously be a bit more flexible, I could climb things, get to small places for sneak attacks. But as we discussed in the gaming episode, sneak attacks aren't really my thing!

MELISSA:
[cracking up]

SAREENA:
I'ma gonna have to go with good ol' Taurus, and be the bull! [rock music playing throughout]

MELISSA:
Be the Bull, oh my god...

SAREENA:
Be the Bull!

MELISSA:
I would also say in the case of this you'd also get the horns, which would be very very cool.

SAREENA:
Oh yeah.

MELISSA:
Also the trampling powers, I think would be very dangerous, so... you could be the tank, yeah.

SAREENA:
I could be the tank. I've just started playing Overwatch, so I play tank quite a lot there as well, so I'm like 'yeah okay no, I could fit into this!'

MELISSA:
There ya go! You're a superhero/Sailor Scout, so you'd also- I'd probably say you have some degree of magical powers, if you're going with the Sailor Scout... but high-tech gadgets if you're a superhero. Or powers also, if you're a superhero I guess.

SAREENA:
When you said superpowers- yeah, the superpowers, I just imagined a trail - [sparkling sound effect] - of sparkles following me every time I attacked.

[Both laughing.]

SAREENA:
I'm a simple person!

[More laughter.]

MELISSA:
That's all it takes, man, that's all it takes.

SAREENA:
Yeah. That's what I'll do, I'll be a sparkly bull tank of my team. [laughs]

MELISSA:
Yes, I love it! Oh my gosh.

SAREENA:
What's your horoscope/star sign?

MELISSA:
It's a Leo. [laughing]

SAREENA:
[miffed] Oh my god, really??

MELISSA:
I got all the cool animals!

SAREENA:
She gets to be a lion or a dragon, wow.

MELISSA:
[still laughing]

SAREENA:
No wonder you wanted me to do the lunar new year episode so badly! [laughs]

MELISSA:
That's not ENTIRELY the reason! Also the fact that our episode is coming out ON the new year, so I thought it'd be a fun way to celebrate it!

SAREENA:
Mmhmm, yep, yep.

MELISSA:
It's funny, in my family I am actually the only dragon, aside from one of my uncles, who married in.

SAREENA:
Oh, okay!

MELISSA:
I'm the only dragon otherwise. Likewise, I'm the only- one of the only Leos.

SAREENA:
Wow, very cool.

MELISSA:
No, gotta be a Sailor Dragon Scout or something.

SAREENA:
Yeah, I mean... you can't really go wrong with either of your animals, like I'm gonna be a lion or a dragon, so... Yeah, so either one would've been cool, so yeah - dragon. If you're not gonna be a dragon on the lunar new year every year, you have to be a dragon superhero, yeah.

MELISSA:
Maybe that'll be my superhero power, I just turn into a dragon, straight up! - [explosion sound effect] - And when I say dragon, by the way, I do mean the Eastern-style dragon, so the big long noodley guys with 6 legs, not Western, Smaug, wyvern-type dragons, not one of those.

SAREENA:
Yeah, not one of the Game of Thrones dragons, the ones with the long whiskers.

MELISSA:
Yeah.

SAREENA:
We want one of them!

[Both laughing.]

MELISSA:
A noodley guy, like the guy from Spirited Away, like that.

SAREENA:
Yeah, yeah. Aw, that'd be fun.

MELISSA:
It would be.

SAREENA:
And as long as you, like... pick me up-

MELISSA:
Oh my god. [cracking up]

SAREENA:
-I'll be a bull, sure I could run places, but you know, if we're having to traverse the land, I'd like a lift now and again, please.

MELISSA:
Oh my god, could you imagine the two of us - we're both tanks, just that I can fly and you have horns for goring people with!

SAREENA:
You could literally pick me up and drop me on people. [descending whistle sound effect]

MELISSA:
I was just thinking that, that'd be our devastating one-hit KO! I just pick you up and you're just concentrated anger, just bull rage, like 'NYEH!' [explosion sound effect]

SAREENA:
'It was this or a monkey!! Raaaagh!'

MELISSA:
[laughs] I love it, oh my god. The best superhero duo in the world. Okay, nope, doing it.

[More laughter.]

SAREENA:
Oh my god.

MELISSA:
Fantastic. Onto your next question then, whatcha got for me?

SAREENA:
[cymbals and drums music sound effect] Yeah, I'm gonna bring us back more into the festivities of the Lunar New Year.

MELISSA:
Okay.

SAREENA:
So obviously, Lunar New Year, fireworks and lanterns are a must.

MELISSA:
Yep.

SAREENA:
So, my question was gonna be, would you rather have the best fireworks display to celebrate the new year? Or the most amazing lanterns?

MELISSA:
[indecisive noises] Ohhhh noooooo, two of my favourite things!

SAREENA:
Just for people listening in, when I'm saying lanterns, in South Korea for example, they had huge wire lanterns that are covered in paper. But they had everything, from the lanterns that you can make a wish and put a candle in and it floats up into the sky, to actual dragons and elephants that moved! And they're made from wire and paper and it is just magical, they're all different colours, and they can float on the water - you know, it's really quite something. Do you remember the Jinju festival that we went to?

MELISSA:
Exactly. That's what I'm thinking of right now, I'm getting all sad and nostalgic about it - because both of those things, we've been to festivals for!

SAREENA:
We have, yeah! Literally the festival of lanterns and the festival of fireworks!

MELISSA:
The fireworks festival in Busan!

SAREENA:
Yeah!

MELISSA:
And both of those things I adore, I haven't seen a good fireworks show in a long time. But also, paper lanterns! I loooooove paper lanterns! Dang it! 'Cause I'm just thinking about the lantern festival, and it was also around autumn too, so it was the perfect time of year, how it's kind of chilly at night, but not super... and it gets dark enough at night so they really, really glow.

SAREENA:
Yeah, and it looks amazing when people are setting off their wishes into the new year, and you know, it lights up the sky! It is really beautiful.

MELISSA:
Beautiful. It's - I'm definitely gonna go with the lanterns, but it also reminds me - you know that one- have you seen Tangled?

SAREENA:
Yes.

MELISSA:
Yeah, it's like that scene when ... you know, it's the song "I See The Light", but you see all the lanterns going up into the sky and it's beautiful, and like... I'm the last person to say this, but like.. those paper lanterns, the soft glow, it's really romantic, isn't it? It's just really beautiful, it just adds to the atmosphere, you know?

SAREENA:
Yeah, definitely. And I think I'm gonna join you in choosing lanterns, because as much as I love fireworks, I think there's so many festivals, there's so many holidays that people do celebrate with fireworks, so I think there's more of a chance to see them more often; and you know, a huge parade of paper lanterns, or... having lanterns float by, it is more magical-feeling. And it's so simple as well, which is what I really like, because anyone can make one and let it fly off into the cosmos, and that's your wish attached to it, or your good intentions for the year, or whatever. That's pretty cool.

MELISSA:
Yeah. 'Cause I remember at the lantern festival in Jinju, I remember - there was a booth there where you could buy a little paper lantern, and they'd give you a candle and you'd set it off along in the water?

SAREENA:
Mm, yeah.

MELISSA:
I remember one year I went, and I wrote a thing down, and it collided with somebody else's lantern and they both sank.

[crowd gasping sound effect]

SAREENA:
Oh no!! [horrified laughter]

MELISSA:
It was so upsetting! [also cracking up]

SAREENA:
There Can Only Be One!

MELISSA:
Basically! I was like 'oh NO!!'

SAREENA:
Wow. Not only your dreams went down in the sink, but you took someone else's with you!

MELISSA:
It's not like I did it on purpose, you stop that!!

SAREENA:
You had too much power between your lion and your dragon, and you're just like 'rrrrrrgh!'

MELISSA:
My hubris, my HUBRIS!

[Both laughing.]

MELISSA:
By the way, if you're listening, just look up lanterns and things on youtube and stuff, it's beautiful and it's so amazing. Something to definitely do when we're allowed to.

SAREENA:
But you can always construct a lantern, just a something simple and kind of fun and different to do at home, and then you know, when the weather is better - I mean, it's currently snowing in the UK, so. [laughs] You know, maybe then you can see your lantern fly!

MELISSA:
I would caution that- you can float them down the river, I think, but I don't know- especially not here, you can't really float them in the sky, 'cause it could be very dangerous depending on where it lands. So, it's like the same rule we have here, we can't shoot off fireworks every day of the year, it's only certain time periods that you're allowed to do that.

SAREENA:
Aaah. We don't have a limit on our fireworks, we can have fireworks whenever.

MELISSA:
What?!

SAREENA:
Yeah, I think literally the other day someone was just setting off fireworks, I was like 'oh okay, must be someone's birthday!' [laughs]

MELISSA:
Oh my god! Why wouldn't you be doing this all the time, then?! Sareena!!

SAREENA:
'Cause I don't have a garden! When I have a garden - [fireworks whistling sound effect] - I'll set off fireworks all day every day, okay?

MELISSA:
Okay, fine, fine - do it for me! It's strictly regulated here, because we're more densely packed, I think? Than London, right?

SAREENA:
Are you?

MELISSA:
Toronto? Yeah, Toronto's bigger anyways, but geographically it's large.

SAREENA:
I have no idea, but I think we have the British etiquette of being polite, so you wouldn't set off fireworks all day every day, because you know that would annoy and be an inconvenience for your neighbours, so you would only do it occasionally; but when you do it, you can go all out. But as long as it's occasionally, no one will complain.

MELISSA:
I personally wouldn't complain if it was, y'know, at decent hours of the night, but people here, they go ham on the really big holidays, like Canada Day, for example-

SAREENA:
Yeah.

MELISSA:
-or Victoria Day, and New Year's, New Year's, then people just go nuts. You were here with me, when you came to visit, you were here for Victoria Day, actually!

SAREENA:
Yeah!

MELISSA:
You remember, we walked down there and we saw the fireworks!

SAREENA:
Yeah, it was lovely! You know, it's that kind of thing especially here, you can set off fireworks all the time, but lanterns? That's something a bit different, so I think it's a good choice that we made there.

MELISSA:
Yes, absolutely. Ah, I love me some paper lanterns... Okay okay, so it would be time for my second question, yeah?

SAREENA:
Yeah!

MELISSA:
[cymbal and drums music sound effect] Okeydokey! So, sticking with the traditions of the new year....

SAREENA:
Mmhmm?

MELISSA:
Sareena?

SAREENA:
Yeees?

MELISSA:
[laughs] So, would you rather have everything get paid to you in red envelopes full of cash, or gold coins?

SAREENA:
Oh my gosh!

MELISSA:
[laughs again]

SAREENA:
In the envelope, it's either cash or coins?

MELISSA:
Yes.

SAREENA:
That's so annoying, because I want to be contactless as much as possible, I don't want to have cash on me.

MELISSA:
I know. But...

SAREENA:
But... so a gold coin, how much is a gold coin worth? A hundred pounds, or?

MELISSA:
Oh my god, uh... let's say 5 pound increments.

SAREENA:
Oh my god, then that's even worse.

MELISSA:
'Oh, here's your paycheck, Sareena!' It's just red envelopes, just filled with coins.

SAREENA:
Oh my gosh, that would be-

MELISSA:
Multiple envelopes.

SAREENA:
-so heavy! [gameshow winner music] Uh, I'm going to take the cash- I'm going to take the cash, everybody!

MELISSA:
[cheering from the gameshow sound effect] Thanks for plaaaaying!

SAREENA:
Yeah no, I'll take the cash because again, it's not as inconvenient, but either option would have me needing to go to the bank every month so I don't get mugged.

[Laughter from both sides.]

MELISSA:
This is true. Let's say that's not an issue then, let's just say it's the fact that you have envelopes full of- that's how you get paid, or how you pay anywhere you go, so you just have, you just whip out your envelope of gold coins and you'll be like, 'thanks for the takeaway, here's your tip and here's the price of my meal', and it's just full of gold coins.

SAREENA:
I mean, I think that would infuriate anyone who's receiving payment from me if it was coins, so I will still stick with the money, and the cash.

[More laughter.]

SAREENA:
I've had a lot of fun, Melissa, but that's my final answer.

MELISSA:
[cracking up] All right, awesome! Yeah, oh my god, it's so funny, because - obviously, every year that is the tradition to give red envelopes filled with money to family members. So the rules, traditionally, is for children and if you're unmarried; once you hit a certain age or once you get married, you have to start giving the red envelopes to people. And I made fun of one of my friends mercilessly, because - she's Filipino, and it was the tradition that you would always get your red envelopes, but then the one year she got married, she was like 'aw, Melissa, I have to start giving them out now!' and I'm like 'EH HEH HEH'.

SAREENA:
God. Another reason to not marry.

[Laughter all round.]

MELISSA:
Basically, yeah. But it's so funny because the designs on these envelopes, they can be really, really beautiful, 'cause there's always gold on there - red and gold are the colours of the celebration, right?

SAREENA:
Mmhmm.

MELISSA:
Any time you want happy, good fortune, it's always red and gold. Love it, mwah. And it's so funny because one year my uncle was giving out his - a different uncle, not the one who gives out lotto tickets - He was giving out his red envelopes, and they have the Chinese envelopes but with Minions on them? So that's what he was giving out to everybody.

SAREENA:
[laughing]

MELISSA:
I was like 'huh, got a good feeling about this year, thank you'.

SAREENA:
Gotta stay trendy, be down with the kids and all that.

MELISSA:
'Cause they have licensed characters, they have Mickey Mouse, or whatever the animal it is for the year-

SAREENA:
Yeah.

MELISSA:
-so there's gonna be lots of cartoon cows this year, it's gonna be cute.

SAREENA:
Oh, that's cute. But what would you do? Cash or coins?

MELISSA:
Cash.

SAREENA:
Yeah.

[Both crack up.]

SAREENA:
But you're a dragon, shouldn't you want coins so you could hoard them?

MELISSA:
That's the thing, I'm not that kind of dragon! We don't hoard things, Eastern dragons generally don't hoard stuff-

SAREENA:
That's true.

MELISSA:
That's very much a Western dragon-type of thing, right?

SAREENA:
Mmm, yeah.

MELISSA:
Like Smaug, from the Hobbit - he sleeps on all of his stuff, and god help you if you take a single coin from his hoard 'cause he'll go nuts and torch your whole village, right?

SAREENA:
Yeah.

MELISSA:
Our dragons - our dragons are different, we don't do that.

SAREENA:
'We don't do that over here'.... Wow, I didn't know your dragons had cliques.

[More laughter.]

MELISSA:
'You can't sit with us, Sareena!!'

SAREENA:
Aaaah! [still laughing]

MELISSA:
Yeah, 'cause for this question, I was half-thinking 'but what if I paid you in chocolate coins, would you take them then?', but...

SAREENA:
No. No I would not, because the last chocolate coin you got me was just awful chocolate, and I couldn't even finish eating it, I was like, 'how dare you, Melissa?'

MELISSA:
[laughing] But what if it was chocolate that was the quality level of however much it was supposed to be?

SAREENA:
No. Just give me the money, Melissa, just give me the money!!

MELISSA:
[laughing] All right, fine!

[cymbal and drums music sound effect]

SAREENA:
Let's move on to my final question, and I want to say it's my final question to signify that I remember that this is my final question, so I don't just ask you for more questions! [cracks up]

MELISSA:
[laughing] I was like 'whoa ho, whoa ho, whoa buddy whoa hey hey!' It was so funny.

SAREENA:
Never forget. Anyway. So obviously festivals, food is important, atmosphere is important, but also entertainment and music is very very important to have the perfect festival.

MELISSA:
Yes.

SAREENA:
So, would you rather have a live band playing the traditional music of the lunar new year, the festivals of whatever participating country you would want, follow you around for the entire time of the celebration-

MELISSA:
Oh god.

SAREENA:
-so the whole 15 days? Or-

MELISSA:
[cracking up]

SAREENA:
-have the lion and dragon dancers follow you, so you know the long - say, 20+ people under those huge long costumes just dancing around, following you just for the 15 days as well.

MELISSA:
Oh my god. I love this question, but both of them would drive me crazy after like, an hour. Oh my god, I'll be honest here, dragon dances - it's not that big of a thing for Vietnamese culture stuff? We're more about the lion dance, and people always get them mixed up, right?

SAREENA:
Mmhmm.

MELISSA:
'Cause the dragon dance is like, a whole bunch of people, they've got the dragon on sticks and they're dancing around, right?

SAREENA:
Yeah.

MELISSA:
That one I've only recently seen.

SAREENA:
Aaaah! Okay.

MELISSA:
Whereas the lion dance is two people, two- two usually, maybe three people?

SAREENA:
Yeah.

MELISSA:
But they've got the mouth, the mouth flaps open, and they go around - [drumming and stick clacking sound effects] - and there's always the drum and the gong going.

SAREENA:
Mm, yeah.

MELISSA:
Those are the lion dancers, and we see those a lot more often, because also for new businesses openings they'll have those.

SAREENA:
Oh, okay.

MELISSA:
Yeah!

SAREENA:
Okay, so if you want to go with the lion dancers because there's only two people, you'd have ten of them.

[Both cracking up.]

MELISSA:
Okay okay okay okay, so let me work out the details again, so a whole band?

SAREENA:
So you have 20 people in a band following you around, live music, bringing you the quintessential music of the festival-

MELISSA:
Oh my god.

SAREENA:
-for the 15 days, or you can have ten lion dancers follow you around, or you can have one dragon with 20 people following you around.

MELISSA:
[cracking up] It's still gonna be a group of 20 people following me around, my posse, right?

SAREENA:
Yeah, mmhmm mmhmm.

MELISSA:
Oh my god. The funny thing is both of those, there's just gonna be a lot of drums and cymbal clashing - [cymbal clash sound effect] - that's what my life is gonna be, regardless.

SAREENA:
[laughing]

MELISSA:
Oh my god, I almost want to go with the dragon dancers or the lion dancers just because it'd be so funny. Me and my dance crew just walking down the street on my way to go grocery shopping, like 'bam! Bam! Bam bam bam!' Holy crap.

SAREENA:
But then also imagine that you have to go home with it as well, so it just has to- you have to rearrange yourself in the house as well.

MELISSA:
Oh no! Is the band going to orchestrate even when I'm sleeping or eating or bathing or something?

SAREENA:
Well, they also have to eat and sleep and bathe too, so you know, just...

MELISSA:
Not WITH me!

SAREENA:
Not with you!!

[Both cracking up.]

SAREENA:
During their time of 15 days with you, they would have to also take a break. Occasionally!

MELISSA:
'Occasionally'... for two whole weeks! And then one day. Oh man, now during the time of lockdown, they wouldn't have very many places to go! So these people are just gonna be in my house. Maybe a band would be less destructive then, actually, I wouldn't want dancers tromping around in my house for two weeks.

SAREENA:
Fair enough. And obviously their music is lovely, it doesn't always have to be the drums and the cymbals, it can obviously be like, nice string instruments and things as well, so.

MELISSA:
Yeah.

SAREENA:
Good choice, but where I'm currently living I'm living in a houseshare, so I only have one room to myself, so I just think it would be hilarious if I had just one dragon of 20 dancers just chilling in here with me, like 'hey guys!' and they're like 'yeeeeaaaah!'

MELISSA:
Yeeeaah!Oh, could you imagine? You get a takeaway and they're the guys that answer the door, and they're just like 'RRRARGH hello!'

SAREENA:
[laughing] 'Now we live with you!'

MELISSA:
'We're your new roommates now! I hope you ordered with extra onions!'

SAREENA:
I love onions, I would definitely order extra onions.

MELISSA:
Oh yeah.

SAREENA:
Yeah no, I think that would just be hilarious, so I'll take a very long crew of dagon dra- dragon dancers.

MELISSA:
[cracking up] Dagron drancers, yes.

SAREENA:
Yes, those ones.

[Laughter from both sides.]

SAREENA:
New hip sensation.

MELISSA:
It would cause quite the stir in the middle of sleepy old London, wouldn't it?

SAREENA:
Just where I am, I'm not central London - if it was central London I'm sure people would be like 'eh, whatever. Get out the way'.

MELISSA:
What! Really?

SAREENA:
Yeah.

MELISSA:
It's funny, 'cause I'm just thinking, 'cause I have so many fond memories associated with this, obviously 'cause growing up, it's my culture and all that - and it's a tradition to have the lion dancers to open new businesses; and when my grandparents opened a new location for our family restaurant, because we had a couple locations, now we're down to just two-

SAREENA:
Mmhmm.

MELISSA:
And it was the big show, and they have a thing where they're supposed to eat greens - you're supposed to hang a cabbage or bok choy or something -

SAREENA:
Oh, okay.

MELISSA:
- and they're supposed to get up and try to eat it, and grab it. 'Cause I think the tradition, I read somewhere the tradition is that because it's a Chinese homophone, where 'greens' means the same as 'money' or 'fortune' or something, so it's good luck for them to get up there, and the masks on those thing, the mouth flaps open, it's supposed to flap open like that - so it can grab them, and the person inside tears it apart and spits it out on the audience, and that's good luck.

SAREENA:
'EAT YOUR GREENS!'

MELISSA:
Basically - 'eat your greens! GOOD FORTUNE! BRING MONEY!'

[Laughter from both.]

MELISSA:
Yeah, 'cause we had one for the restaurant opening, it was very very exciting, I think I was only 10 or 11 at the time... so it was very cool.

SAREENA:
Yeah, no, especially for little kids and stuff. I mean, even now I'd be totally happy to see some lions and a dragon, you know, rockin' up to open a new place.

MELISSA:
It'd be very cool.

SAREENA:
What's your final question?

[Cymbals and drums music sound effect.]

MELISSA:
So would you rather read your yearly horoscope a year in advance, but it's accurate - like, everything it says comes true?

SAREENA:
Ooh.

MELISSA:
Or would you rather do the same thing, but it's every day? So instead of getting a year in advance it's a day in advance.

SAREENA:
So I would, what, receive a book or a chapter, and be like 'this is what's gonna happen tomorrow'?

MELISSA:
Yeah. And it happens word for word, it's a day by day thing.

SAREENA:
Ah. And the other one is, what, a whole year?

MELISSA:
Yes.

SAREENA:
I could have daily updates... 'Sareena, you will, tomorrow, also, play video games'. Oh great.

[Both cracking up.]

SAREENA:
Cool cool cool.

MELISSA:
Yes.

SAREENA:
I feel like if I was given the year's - I imagine that would be a book, or a short story or whatever - I feel that's much easier to set aside and not read.

[More cracking up.]

MELISSA:
Okay, okay.

SAREENA:
'Cause you might not want to, like - you read and go 'oh god, here come the months of playing video games, cool, let's just flip ahead' or whatever. But you know, people always say 'oh I'm gonna read this book, this is great' or 'what happens if this is really boring and it's not great', and I'm like 'ugh, whatever', and I just forego that information; but if it's in smaller chunks, like 'this is what's gonna happen tomorrow', cool! I'd be able to digest that more easily, I think.

MELISSA:
Mmhmm.

SAREENA:
And if it's just a day, then you can fit that in your day. I'm imagining the daily updates, like 'at 3 pm: You will read tomorrow's reading' - oh okay, cool.

MELISSA:
That's - that's very true, yeah. Honestly, that's what I would go with too, 'cause I think a full year too, like you said, it's very easy to read it and then forget it.

SAREENA:
Yeah, and I think especially with the times that we're living in now, with COVID, we have so much information coming at us all the time-

MELISSA:
Yeah.

SAREENA:
-I think if I received that kind of amount of detail for a whole year, I just don't think it would be possible just to have that, or understand it in whatever form it comes in, having the little breakdowns day by day, I think that would just be much easier.

MELISSA:
Yeah, for sure.

SAREENA:
So yeah, I will take my daily updates of my own life. [laughs]

MELISSA:
Yeah, I mean, like you said, nowadays with COVID the schedules are a lot more predictable. [sad laughter]

SAREENA:
'Here, read this in advance for next year-' Nah, nah. Soz.

[Both laughing.]

SAREENA:
My concentration limits have severely decreased.

MELISSA:
Oh my god, me too. I tried to read a book the other day, I was like 'eerhghhhghgh' and that was it. I was like, 'okay, well I'll try to read this when I'm in a better mindset' and that didn't happen, spoilers.

SAREENA:
So we're both doing the daily updates?

MELISSA:
I think we are, yeah - 'cause I went into this question thinking once again about Eastern zodiac versus the Western zodiac, because you know, people love to read their horoscopes for today, right?

SAREENA:
Yeah, that's true.

MELISSA:
It's the same thing with the Western horoscope, you read the predictions for the year of the Monkey- or the year of the Ox, excuse me - and that's kinda what it is. Yours only comes up once every 12 years, that's how- there's 12 animals in the zodiac.

SAREENA:
Yeah.

MELISSA:
The cycle started again last year, so the Rat is the first one, so Ox-

SAREENA:
-is number 2!

MELISSA:
Pig is dead last! Yaaay!

SAREENA:
I think Monkey's kinda lower down as well?

MELISSA:
It is, yeah.

SAREENA:
That's fine, I'll wait.

MELISSA:
[laughing] Oh, your year's coming up in... how many years now? I think... 4 years!

SAREENA:
[scoffs] Right, well. Okay.

MELISSA:
Every multiple of 12, Sareena...

SAREENA:
Look, I was just impressed that I could do the counting of 20 in the dancing question, so let's not push it, let's not push it.

MELISSA:
[cracking up] Once again, our mortal enemy, numbers, has reared its ugly head.

SAREENA:
[laughing] Yeah, can't drop a bull on numbers, I'm afraid. So there's no more questions, right? We're done.

MELISSA:
[laughing again] Yes we are, Sareena, I've checked them off!

SAREENA:
There's not a surprise round - [round bell clanging sound effect] - that I'm gonna be hit with or anything, or I'm forgetting.

MELISSA:
I mean, nothing on my end unless you've decided to pull something on me?

SAREENA:
[dramatic gasp] ... No, no I don't. I got nothing. The only thing I've got is, I can wish our lovely listeners a happy new year in Korean, so... [exaggerated throat clearing] Bear with me as I read hangeul. So, in Korean, when you wish someone a Happy New Year, it is "saehae bok mani badeuseyo"! [새해 복 많이 받으세요!]

MELISSA:
Yeah! I'm also gonna wish some of our listeners - our Vietnamese listeners, "Chúc Mừng Năm Mới!" There's a whole bunch of other things I could say too, for example, so that just means 'happy new year' - I could also say, "Sống lâu trăm tuổi", which means 'I hope you live to 100 years'.

To our Japanese listeners - I know there's at least one of you! "Akemashite omedetou gozaimasu!" [明けましておめでとう ございます!]

SAREENA:
"Arigatou gozaimasu!" [ありがとうございます - 'thank you very much!']

MELISSA:
Yeahhh!

SAREENA:
Yaaay!

MELISSA:
And neither of us are confident enough in our Mandarin/Cantonese skills to even try!

SAREENA:
No! Too many intonations, SO many mistakes! I can't.

MELISSA:
I don't want to offend anybody.

SAREENA:
What we're trying to say is have a good one, everybody!

MELISSA:
Yes! [party horn sound effect] Happy Year of the Ox, everybody!
[soft chiming music playing throughout] And on that note, it's time for the Self-Care Sign-Off. It's the new year... once again! It's never too late to start again, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with dreaming small as well as dreaming big. I know last year, plans did not go the way they were supposed to, and this year it would be prudent to plan a lot smaller, and there's nothing wrong with that. Let's get through this year once again, one step at a time.

If you'd like to support us, there's a link in our episode description with a handy index of everywhere you can find us. If you want memes and updates, head on over to Insta! If you want merch, go to RedBubble. If you'd like to buy us a ko-fi, please go to ko-fi! And as always, you can email us at curriedchipsandpoutine@gmail.com.

We love you, happy new year! We appreciate you, thanks for sticking with us!

BOTH:
Byeeeee!

[Outro music playing before fading out.]