CC&P 19: Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This.... Podcast

[Intro music playing.]

SAREENA:
Hello, my favourite fried potatoes! It’s Curried Chips & Poutine here, wishing your week has gone smoothly... and if not, here is some new content to brighten your life! A fabulous thank you to kullyem for purchasing one of our wonderful masks AND tagging us in her lovely photo on Insta! If you too would love to grab some swag, check out the link in the episode description.

Today we are delving into the funky world of dreams, because we've all got them,  no matter how big, or small, or just plain weird. What have you got for me, Melissa?

MELISSA:
[laughing] 'Just plain weird'... well, bit of an understatement, considering how we've talked about our dreams on this podcast before, buuuut... Maybe I'll start off a little mundane first, kinda ease you into it, you know?

SAREENA:
Yeah, I like the sound of that.

MELISSA:
[question time twinkle] Let's assume we can record your dreams somehow. Would you rather be able to record your dreams and re-experience them in VR and play it like a video game? Or would you rather sit back and rewatch it, but as a movie?

SAREENA:
Hmmmm. So this would have to depend on what kind of dreams that I have, 'cause if they're generally quite fun, then I wouldn't mind reliving them in a virtual reality setting; but if they're generally quite anxiety-inducing or not relaxing, then I probably would rather watch that, you know? Rather than feel it. I tend to have, kind of recurring dreams, so a couple of themes that pop up - running, teeth falling out, snakes is also quite common-

MELISSA:
Ugh, teeth...

SAREENA:
Teeth one's awful, you literally- I've looked into a mirror and all my teeth have fallen out and I'm like - [shock sound effect] 'oooaaauugghhh!!'

MELISSA:
[noises of discomfort] Okay!

SAREENA:
So, uh, on that basis, I think I'll just watch my dreams?

[Both laughing.]

MELISSA:
But since you're such a big fan of all this new technology for video games, I thought you'd be all over the VR!

SAREENA:
Yeah, but only when I know what the content will be. [laughs]

MELISSA:
That's true. You know, apparently - fun fact: they say if you snore, you don't dream.

SAREENA:
Really? Using up too much energy to snore than dream?

MELISSA:
I mean, that's what they say. I have no clue, being as I do snore but I also dream, so I'm like who knows? Not I.

SAREENA:
No. I've been told that I'm a very quiet sleeper, that people have looked over to make sure I'm still breathing kinda quiet-

MELISSA:
[cracks up] Oh no!

SAREENA:
And I'm like, 'no, I'm just sleeping! Don't worry!' Just heavily dreaming, apparently. So what would you do? Would you experience your dreams or watch them?

MELISSA:
I'd watch them, absolutely.  I am too much of an old fogey to be into the newfound technology, like VR stuff, 'cause that makes me feel quite nauseous, so...

SAREENA:
Okay.

MELISSA:
I don't think that'd be great to rewatch what might have already been something traumatizing in a dream, and then watch it and then get a headache from spinning around - [cartoon spinning noise] - screaming at everything, so.

SAREENA:
Yeah, 'cause if you're doing it in VR, it's like you're subject to the experience and even though you can move and interact, you're still having this thing happen to you; whereas at least when you're dreaming, you don't have any control of it so I feel like it's a bit sadistic to be like, 'yes, let me re-experience the horror of this dream'! [laughs]

MELISSA:
No thank you! I woke up with a jolt from last time!

SAREENA:
Yeah, at least with the film you can have some snacks. [chomp sound effect]

MELISSA:
Yeah, you can pause and be like, 'okay, so that's what that meant when, you know, Superman - [swooping sound effect] - came from the sky and threw me through a building. Okay, that's what that means.'

SAREENA:
"Good fortune will be in your future".

MELISSA:
Wow! Thanks, Superman!

SAREENA:
Yeah! [question time twinkle] Well, my first question isn't so mundane?

MELISSA:
Okay! Hit me! [punch sound effect]

SAREENA:
Would you rather be able to control your movements in your dream, but wake up tired as a result?

MELISSA:
Oooh!

SAREENA:
Or, let your dream self resolve one of your real-life problems, but you don't know what problem they'll resolve or how they'll do it?

MELISSA:
Oh no!

[Cracking up from both.]

MELISSA:
I - okay, this- there's a lot of unpacking to do here, I think. Is it terrible that the very first thing that you mentioned, about being tired, I'm like 'ey gurl'...

SAREENA:
'I'm already tired!'

[More laughing.]

MELISSA:
'Been running in your dreams-' how does that pickup line go?? It's like, uh....

SAREENA:
Oh... 'are you tired... because you've been running around my head all day' or something like that?

MELISSA:
Yeah, or something like that, 'cause that's where my mind went, but I can't even remember what the joke was, so never mind.

SAREENA:
[laughing]

MELISSA:
Is- my dream self is me and not some horrible evil twin version of me, right? It's not the bad clone?

SAREENA:
I mean... let's say they have slightly more chaotic energy than you would in your real life persona.

MELISSA:
[cracking up] I mean, that makes sense, okay! Oh geez, but I can control- so I mean, but if I can control myself in my dream - [mystical sounding music playing throughout] - I can just dream that I'm asleep and just get super meta? Can't I do that?

SAREENA:
[laughing] Yeah, I guess so, but probably you'd get disturbed and the things would happen in your dream to make it that you just don't sleep within your dream, because that's a bit boring, Melissa!

MELISSA:
I mean, yes, but it's restful!

SAREENA:
This is not a video game where you can wake up rested.

MELISSA:
Shhhh! Hey, hey, I can dream! [sad joke sound effect] 'Cause I.... at the moment, I'm kind of leaning towards the second one, with the dream self kinda going nuts? I guess if they solve one problem they'd open up a whole other can of worms, wouldn't it?

SAREENA:
It would, 'cause you just don't know which of your real life problems that your dream persona will take on, and whether they can resolve it in a manner that your real life persona would? But then, that might not necessarily be a bad thing, 'cause you know how- well, at least I overthink everything and, you know, bit of a people pleaser, that kind of thing-

MELISSA:
Yes.

SAREENA:
-you just want to make sure everyone else but yourself is okay, whereas your dream self might be like, 'no! Me!'

MELISSA:
'Me first!'

SAREENA:
'Me me me!'

MELISSA:
[laughing]

SAREENA:
And that could be needed!

MELISSA:
Okay you know what, no, actually let's play it safe, let's go with I'll control myself.

SAREENA:
Really? [laughs] But you'd wake up tired, you'd never be able to have a restful night's sleep again, because you're going to be moving around.

MELISSA:
Oh, that's true... Darn it! This is a hard one, I don't like this! Actually you know what, I'll leave my fate to dream me if that's the case, because she probably knows what's going on better than I do, being my subconscious and all.

SAREENA:
I'll join you, I think that just sounds wonderful, to sleep and you actually have an answer to one of your problems the next day-

MELISSA:
Yeah.

SAREENA:
-you know, it's kind of cool in a way? Because you know, so often we go to bed with worries and issues that we maybe sweep under the rug - [sweeping sound effect] - and we're just like, 'I don't know what to do here!' But don't worry, dream you's got your back!

MELISSA:
Oh man. Yeah, 'cause - you know what, no, no, nope, we're gonna leave it at that, okay. [question time chime] So, are ya ready for my next question?

SAREENA:
Let's do it!

MELISSA:
So, funny you should mention recurring themes...

SAREENA:
Oh... yes?

MELISSA:
So, my question to you is: would you rather have recurring motifs in your dreams but you know exactly what they mean?

SAREENA:
Okay.

MELISSA:
Or would you rather randomly get a really ominous motif in a dream, but you know exactly what it means? Oh no sorry, you DON'T know what it means? Sorry.

SAREENA:
Oh, okay. So I can choose what recurring themes I can have in my dreams, but I'll know exactly what each of them mean, or I can get a random kind of  'oooaaahhh' - [spooky breath sound effect] - one but I won't know what it means?

MELISSA:
Yeah, but it happens way more rarely, you'll get it like... what, once every couple of months, but it's ominous.

SAREENA:
But does that mean I get peaceful sleep in between?

MELISSA:
Well, it's just- you know, your regular sleep, your regular dreams, whatever, but - 'cause you can't control what you dream about, right?

SAREENA:
Yeah.

MELISSA:
'Cause you mentioned having snakes, for example - so the next time say you go to sleep, you have a dream, there's snakes in there and you wake up being like, 'ah, so THAT'S what that meant'.

SAREENA:
I think that would be useful because I have so many recurring dreams. I would like to know why snakes are here, on this plane.

[Both cracking up.]

SAREENA:
Or why is all my teeth falling out. They say that for the teeth - and even for snakes, because you know, you can find whatever answer you want on the internet-

MELISSA:
Yeah.

SAREENA:
They both indicate moments of change in your life, so I've definitely- once I've had a new haircut that's definitely a different  style and I had to go into work the next day, the night before-

MELISSA:
Right.

SAREENA:
- I had dreamt that my teeth would fall out - [ascending piano keys sound effect] -

MELISSA:
[creeped out noises]

SAREENA:
- and it's like, my subconscious is worried, or it's thinking about the change that's happened to me, and it's just my hair. But you know, who knows? I'm not a dream expert.

MELISSA:
Neither of us are, by the way. Neither of us have any sort of experience in this field, aside from just dreaming, straight up.

SAREENA:
Yeah. But I have heard that people can navigate their dreams and there's people who can teach you how to dreamwalk and things? It's like-

MELISSA:
[disbelief] Whaaaat?

SAREENA:
Yeah, it's like a thing! You can learn how to, y'know, walk in your dreams. So if all this stuff may not be as magical as we're making it out, maybe a dream specialist will come on and just tell us we're so naive! [laughs]

MELISSA:
My perspective on dreams in this case is because I don't really have lots of recurring themes the way you do, like you have imagery of snakes and teeth falling out - it's not something that happens to me, on the upchance that I actually remember what I dream about, that's not what sticks out to me, right?

SAREENA:
Yeah.

MELISSA:
Like... some things are very obvious, like if I have a dream about work it's because I've been working a lot; or if I have a dream about something I was reading about before I went to bed, it's from that, right?

SAREENA:
Yeah.

MELISSA:
But I'll never have a dream where I'm like, 'oh, this keeps popping up', and then I'll have a dream in another week or two later with the exact same thing, that's never really happened to me.

SAREENA:
Aaaah. That must be nice!

[Laughter from both sides.]

SAREENA:
I'm like, 'damn it, this stuff again!'

MELISSA:
I'm just kinda like, 'what fresh hell has my mind brought for me today?'

SAREENA:
Yeah, and even the ominous one, I do have some ominous dreams that do pop up now and again.

MELISSA:
Oh, same.

SAREENA:
You know, I feel like in a couple of my dreams there have been spirits- some kind of presence of something that I don't particularly understand is there, and I've been like 'ooh, okay, I wonder what this means? I sure hope I don't die!'

[Both cracking up.]

SAREENA:
Or, have you ever had sleep paralysis?

MELISSA:
I haven't, but oh my god it sounds so scary!

SAREENA:
It is awful, I have it-

MELISSA:
Wow!!

SAREENA:
-I've not had it in a long time, I've had it 2-3 times and each time is terrifying; the first time I ever experienced it was, I remember I was in my parents' home, in Scotland, and my room's not big, so in my dream I was looking around in the dark, and I could see light coming in through the door. And then, as I'm scanning the room my gaze goes back onto the door, and there is a figure there, like a shadowy...

MELISSA:
[horrified noises]

SAREENA:
... Think of a Dementor, kind of ghost thing there, and it's coming towards me and it reaches a hand, and I'm trying to scream but I can't scream, and then I'm like 'HUERGH' and I'm awake. And it's awful!

MELISSA:
Oh my god! Okay yeah no, that - there is actually a legitimate scientific reason for sleep paralysis and why it manifests as demons and stuff, but man, that is SCARY.

SAREENA:
Yeah, I mean the science doesn't help! I mean, I know it's your brain is kind of awake, but it hasn't sent the signals to the rest of your body?

MELISSA:
Yes.

SAREENA:
And it's like, your head feels super heavy and you feel like you can't move, you literally can't, and usually I try to move my head left to right, and it just ... it's such an effort, I've not had it for a long time, but when I do get it I'm just like 'THIS IS AWFUL!'

MELISSA:
Oh my god.

SAREENA:
I don't recommend trying that one. [laughs]

MELISSA:
I mean... I don't know if I'd have a physical choice for that, I'm sure? Is that a psychological thing or a physical thing? 'Cause I know there's a science behind it, but.

SAREENA:
I think it just happens? I mean I've never delved deeper into the meaning of that one, I'm just like 'please don't happen again!' and then it happens twice more and I'm like, 'oh, fun'.

MELISSA:
Oh no!

SAREENA:
Consistency!

MELISSA:
Oh man, yeah... Yeah no, I'm sorry.

SAREENA:
This is why I will never choose to experience my dreams. Watch them, fine! Experience them, no.

MELISSA:
Oh my god. I mean, some people might be into seeing some horrible- 'oh look, it's Slenderman and he wants to say hello' - ['hello' sound effect from Five Nights At Freddy's 2] you know?

SAREENA:
Yeah. I bet you watching my dreams would give you your horror kicks.

MELISSA:
I don't even know, because I... as much as I like horror things, actually SEEING them is something else entirely, right?

SAREENA:
Yeah. See, that's probably why I don't like horror things, 'cause maybe I do see them a bit often than you do!

MELISSA:
That seems to be the case, I'm thinking!

SAREENA:
But what would you do? Would you go for the ominous one?

MELISSA:
Honestly, I don't know. 'Cause like I mentioned the whole recurring dream thing, I don't really get that, but I feel comforted in knowing that if something does keep showing up in my dreams I'll at least know that much, right? 'Cause sometimes you will just get an ominous dream out of nowhere and be like, 'welp! That was HORRIBLE, hope that never happens again!'

SAREENA:
Yeah.

MELISSA:
I think I'll go with the recurring dream motif too, even though I feel like that's cheating, but y'know, hey.

SAREENA:
Yeah, no, it'd be cool, especially if it's not something that you experience at the moment anyway. It is something, even though it's a recurring theme they're not always the same, there is differences about my recurring dream but I'm like, 'ah. More snakes' or 'ah. Being chased again', or 'ah. No more teeth'. [laughs]

MELISSA:
I mean, I kind of also feel that some recurring motifs are fairly obvious, like if you feel like you're being chased, can't imagine what that's about!

SAREENA:
Yeah. I think that's kind of like, anxiety, unresolved issues.

MELISSA:
Oh, yeah.

SAREENA:
If I give power to dream Sareena, I'm sure she could take action!

MELISSA:
Yes! Oh, just give her the reins and see what she does in real life to make this anxiety go away.

SAREENA:
Perhaps just - [punching sound effects and a squeaky toy sound effect] - enforce some moderate violence, perhaps.

[Cracking up from both hosts.]

MELISSA:
We're not condoning this!

SAREENA:
No, we're not condoning this! I say this because she doesn't have control, she doesn't! Get out of my mind!

MELISSA:
This is turning into a Halloween episode-Lite, I'm thinking.

SAREENA:
Yeah.

MELISSA:
[laughing]

SAREENA:
Let me steer us back! [question time chime] Would you rather be sucked into one of your friend's dreams every night, randomly, or pull a random friend into yours? After we've just discussed what we dream about. [cracking up]

MELISSA:
Oh no!! I don't think I like either of these options! Oh, man... I just feel like both of them are kind of invasive, aren't they?

SAREENA:
You don't have control, it's just like- I guess, what would you rather experience? If you're dreaming and then suddenly I'm in your dream and you're like 'oh hey Sareena' and I'm like 'how dare you!'

MELISSA:
[cracking up]

SAREENA:
'I'm just communicating with the demons over there, and now you've ruined it all!'

MELISSA:
'No, my negotiations!'

SAREENA:
Yeah. 'Just signing some contracts...'

MELISSA:
'Aaaaand... oh look, Melissa's here, she's spilled the ink. Look what you've done.' Okay, so... I'm not conscious? It's my dreamself but I'm not aware that I'm dream-hopping, am I?

SAREENA:
No, but you would remember the dream and be like, 'oh, why IS Sareena there?' or 'oh, why IS this particular friend here? What is happening?' And you would be aware that it's not something you generally dream about.

MELISSA:
Ooooh.

SAREENA:
And then your friend would message you, being like, 'did you dream what I just dreamed?' and you'd be like, 'oh my god'.

MELISSA:
Uh-oh! Hmmm... so then it works in reverse, too? So like if I pulled a friend into my dream, it'd be like, 'wow Melissa, this is really weird, I had a dream about you and you did this, this, and this' and I'll be like, 'oh really?'

SAREENA:
Oh no!

MELISSA:
'Hmmm...'

SAREENA:
Nobody was supposed to know!

[Laughter from both.]

MELISSA:
Oh man. I don't know! I mean, I have ideas of what I dream about, but who KNOWS what my friends dream about?

SAREENA:
Yes, this is true.

MELISSA:
Is there something you'd like to tell me?

SAREENA:
I've just told you! I've got demons and snakes and teeth!

MELISSA:
And then there's me, I've got like... y'know, subtitles in Spanish, and Pokemon...

SAREENA:
Yeah!

[Some more laughter.]

MELISSA:
[sighs] It boils down to, do I want to be vulnerable and let my friends learn about me, or do I want to learn about them in this way....

SAREENA:
Mmhmm.

MELISSA:
I don't know, Sareena! This question's - it's a good thinking question but I also hate you, so.

[Both laughing.]

SAREENA:
Excellent. You know, I still haven't gotten over the ice cream or chocolate question, and I'm glad to see from our Instagram fans that they also agree that it was a terrible question you asked me, so ... this wasn't meant to be.

MELISSA:
Dang it! It's my penance is what this is, oh my god. Aw man, you know, I think I..... [haltingly] would want to visit friends' dreams, probably... I just feel like if I pull people into my dreams, like I'm sorry that I'm subjecting you to this, it's very weird.

SAREENA:
Yeah, it's very true. I would definitely choose being pulled into friends' dreams, because I want to know, what do other people dream about? How do they experience their dreams? Does everyone speak to demons or is it just me?

MELISSA:
I'm sure! I mean, you could talk to people in real life who claim to speak to demons.

SAREENA:
Yes, this is very true as well! But you know, I feel that the dream world is much more telling.

MELISSA:
That's- yeah, that's fair.

SAREENA:
It would be just a weird thing, you know, you're sleeping and you're like, 'haha, gonna dream about this or whatever' and then you're like - [boop sound effect] - 'bye, Melissa!' and then like 'oh no, the Kraken's here! Melissa, wake up!'

[Both cracking up.]

MELISSA:
I'd be like, 'what are you talking about?' [Foreboding theme playing throughout] And then I have to grab my hook hand and just go to town on this kraken.

SAREENA:
Yeah, you're living out your pirate fantasy in your dream.

MELISSA:
It's MY fantasy, Sareena, get out of here!

SAREENA:
'I can't leave ye, captain!'

MELISSA:
[laughs] Could you imagine the conversation that happens after that, when I wake up? I'm like... 'Sareena... did you just jump into my dream and proclaim yourself the first mate on my ship?'

SAREENA:
And I'm like, 'would you have it any other way? Tell me!'

MELISSA:
I mean.... no, I'm not gonna finish that. ANYWAYS.

SAREENA:
Wow.

[Laughter from both.]

SAREENA:
Maybe we should just move on, shall we?

MELISSA:
[question time chime] Move on, yes, how to wrap things up, as it were... Well, with my last question, right?

SAREENA:
Yeah.

MELISSA:
So it's gonna have a little bit more of a fantastical note, then - I started off mundane and here I am, going to the opposite end. Would you rather catch dreams in bottles with a butterfly net, or would you rather fish for them?

SAREENA:
Ohhh, fun!

MELISSA:
Yeah! I'm wondering if you understand this reference.

SAREENA:
It's Zelda, right? Isn't it?

MELISSA:
No, actually, it's the BFG! By Roald Dahl.

SAREENA:
Ohhhhh.

MELISSA:
He's a giant, and he goes to a dream land and he catches dreams with his butterfly net, and he puts them in jars.

SAREENA:
Okay. I mean, I have read it, when I was like... you know, teeny-weeny.

[Both laughing.]

SAREENA:
I am not so teeny-weeny. I think... I would rather just go out and catch them with a net, because the idea of fishing - I could catch fish - [splashing sound effect] - and I don't want to catch the fish, and I don't want to stress the fish. I don't like fishing as an activity-

MELISSA:
Me neither.

SAREENA:
-why are you catching this poor animal, and it's just chilling and you're just putting a hook through its mouth, and you're tempting it with fake food! Just to grab it, just to take a picture and now it's got a wound in its cheek, just-

MELISSA:
'Just to take a picture'.....

SAREENA:
No! No fishing!

MELISSA:
I mean, I agree with you on all counts, I don't like fishing either, but let's just say this is like a fantasy thing, so you're not actually using hooks, but you are-

SAREENA:
No fishing!!

MELISSA:
-it's the action of- it's the action of putting some bait out and luring it and yanking it out on your line!

SAREENA:
No, I'd rather go out with the net because it seems a bit more free, I'm just imagining running through a field and just like 'ahahaha', you know, prancing around and just catching dreams, that sounds quite nice.

[Laughter from both sides.]

MELISSA:
Honestly, when you put it that way I guess that's true, there's a little bit more freedom there, but also, from the dreams' perspective - they're just flitting around, having a good time and then some maniac comes out with a net like 'a-HA!' Sareena!

SAREENA:
Yep, that's me, hi!

[More laughter.]

SAREENA:
And so what am I doing with the dreams? I'm just catching them and... adding them to my collection, just to look at?

MELISSA:
Well... you could! It's up to you. 'Cause in the BFG proper, he goes around and 'cause he describes the dreams, they're sort of jelloid, weird, half-solid wispy things, and he tipped them into this big long trumpet that he has, and then he goes to peoples' rooms and he opens the window and he blows the dream out, they inhale it and then they dream it.

SAREENA:
I think selling them would be much easier - [cash register sound effect] - let's sell them.

MELISSA:
[cracking up in disbelief]

SAREENA:
eBay! Or Etsy, this would totally work on Etsy, this is very niche. [laughing]

MELISSA:
I was gonna say, I'm sure there's a market for it!

SAREENA:
Buy your dreams!

MELISSA:
Discount if you buy them in bulk!

SAREENA:
Buy two dreams, get one free!

MELISSA:
Oh my goodness gracious.

SAREENA:
Aaah. What would you do?

MELISSA:
I think I would do the same? The idea of fishing I thought was kind of fun, it just seemed very romantic, kinda just sitting somewhere in some spirit world and being like, 'all right, let's see what's biting today' and tossing out a line. 'Cause I don't like fishing either, for all those reasons you stated, and just being like 'ah, I got one!', you yank it out there, and it's a big beautiful dream, or it's a tiny little thing, or it's.... I dunno, a fish. Okay no, hopefully not a fish, but.

SAREENA:
No fish! Yeah no, obviously that sounds nice and relaxing, but I think in order to grow my dream business I need to be proactive, and go out there with my net and...

MELISSA:
[cracking up]

SAREENA:
Yeah it seems fun, like, 'oh I didn't catch that one today but maybe I'll see it tomorrow' kind of thing. So it's more... opportunistic, I guess. So I'll take that, I don't want to sit around unless I'm playing video games.

MELISSA:
Oh well, I'm sure you can multitask. But that's so funny, just imagine just that one dream, it's the one that got away!

SAREENA:
[typing sound effect] And then I blog about it, and then get people to subscribe to the blog - see, I got a whole business plan here.

MELISSA:
Oh my god. Well, I - commodifying dreams, oh boy! We do live in a society, don't we? [laughs]

SAREENA:
Look. If I ever make megabucks I'll give it back, you know - give back to the community's given me so much!

MELISSA:
You have a point, you have a point. I think in this case though I'm gonna divert - I'm gonna say I'd rather, I think, fish for them, 'cause fishing is boring, but if it's something like a dream, I think that's very cool, needs more patience.

SAREENA:
Bah! Give it to me now!

MELISSA:
No! Instant gratification!

SAREENA:
Yes!

[More laughter.]

SAREENA:
[question time chime] Okay, so I guess that leads on to my last question...

MELISSA:
Yes. How will you finish the episode, Sareena?

SAREENA:
Let's see...

MELISSA:
Okay...

SAREENA:
Would you rather choose what dream you will have from a catalogue, but every 5 days you have to have a terrible nightmare?

MELISSA:
Ooooh!

SAREENA:
Or would you rather see your current dreams to completion?

MELISSA:
So like a running series? So, like this is like episode 2 of my 10 episode series of dreams...?

SAREENA:
I mean, if that is how you dream - no, I mean like, a lot of us... I speak like I know!

[Both cracking up.]

SAREENA:
These dreams that I've visited and caught... From my dreams, I will be dreaming, and then potentially I will wake up, and I don't see the end of that particular dream-

MELISSA:
Oh I see.

SAREENA:
So, if you choose that option you can actually get to see the end of your dream, for every dream that you have, subsequently. Or, you can be like flicking through a catalogue, like - [page turning noises] - 'I feel like a beach dream today!'

MELISSA:
[laughing] But then you don't get the same courtesy of choosing your nightmare, do you?

SAREENA:
No, then that could just be... awful. But it's every 5 days so, you know, you could count down to it.

MELISSA:
That's still too often! Oh my god, oooh no!

SAREENA:
You can be like, 'I want magical unicorns today, I'll have my beach holiday here, I'll have my #1 Superhero dream of myself here'!

MELISSA:
Yeah, but counterpoint: nightmares really suck! I'm sure you've had them before, really bad ones, you know, the ones where you wake up and you're like... drenched in sweat and your heart's going a mile a minute-

SAREENA:
Yes, when the Predator's trying to kill me, yes!

MELISSA:
I've had nightmares that were more on the traumatic side of things, where I'll wake up and be like crying because something really bad happened, right?

SAREENA:
Oooh, yeah.

MELISSA:
You know, like death of a family member, that sort of thing. [noises of discomfort] That counts as a nightmare for me, despite not being chased by anybody who wants to kill me, but, y'know.... still sucks.

SAREENA:
Yeah, nightmares aren't dreams that you enjoy!

MELISSA:
No.

SAREENA:
None of my ghost demon dreams are ones that I enjoy!

MELISSA:
Or you come away from it feeling like, 'sure am glad I'm awake!', you know?

SAREENA:
Yeah, I hate when dreams make you feel things in the real life, it's like 'ooh, it's transcended dimensions. I don't like this!'

MELISSA:
You know that thing that people complain about, it's like - say you have a dream about somebody, and they do something terrible in the dream, and you wake up and then you're just like irrationally angry with them-

SAREENA:
Yeah!

MELISSA:
-even though they literally did nothing wrong?

SAREENA:
Yeah. [laughs]

MELISSA:
Oh man. No, I don't think I could do it! As much as I would love to just pick from a catalogue like 'mmm, yes, this one feels delightful, I'll try it on for size', right? Every 5 days having a nightmare? No way! I'm just gonna see my current dreams through, I think - even if that's a nightmare too.

SAREENA:
Yeah, you don't remember your dreams, they could all be nightmares! They could just be mild, but when you see them to completion they could be all horrible!

MELISSA:
Oh, I mean... that's fair, but like you said, I also don't remember them so hey, there's that.

SAREENA:
But you could remember them now, because you're seeing them to completion!

MELISSA:
Yeah, that's true. No, I'm still gonna have to stick with that option, I don't- I don't like that, I'm sorry!

SAREENA:
I mean yeah, every 5 days is very regular.

MELISSA:
That IS!

SAREENA:
But I was like, I can't give you a catalogue of dreams and NOT have a sticking point to it!

[Both laughing.]

MELISSA:
If it was once a week, even that's still a lot!

SAREENA:
It IS once a week, every 5 working days!

MELISSA:
[SCOFFS] 5 working days, all right, I'm sorry. No, I could not do it. I mean, you know, when you lie in bed trying to get to sleep anyways, you're thinking about stuff, you can kind of lead into a dream and that might be... whatever, but. Hang on, so if you're picking from a catalogue, does it entail the entirety of the dream, so you know the entire plot of what's gonna happen to you? Like 'oooh I like this, I'll take this one'.

SAREENA:
It's like a general theme, so yeah you're like 'yeah, I want to be on a really lovely beach, swinging in a hammock', that's what that generally is, but you would wake up however you wake up.

MELISSA:
Oh, okay.

SAREENA:
So if you do wake up early, your dream gets cut short, you know. But if you went back to sleep, it would resume that theme of dreams.

MELISSA:
Hmmm. No, I still can't do it - no, no, I don't like having nightmares!

SAREENA:
No, it is- it is...... bad.

[Both bursting into laughter.]

MELISSA:
Thank you, Sareena! Nightmares bad, good dreams nice!

SAREENA:
Feel free to quote me on that, everybody!

[More laughter.]

SAREENA:
However, I think that I would choose the dream catalogue!

MELISSA:
Yeah?

SAREENA:
Yeah! Because 4 nights, I'm going to be at least having restful sleep, I'll be choosing the nice dreams!

MELISSA:
This is true.

SAREENA:
A mildly adventurous one every now and again, and... you know.

MELISSA:
[laughing] A mildly adventurous...

SAREENA:
Because when I started skydiving, a very recurring dream was like my parachute not opening, or I see my parachute not attached to me, and I'm like 'why are you over there?'

MELISSA:
Oh my god!

SAREENA:
'I need you here!' But that's okay, because my parachute didn't open one time, so, um.

MELISSA:
[SHOCK] WHAT?

SAREENA:
[laughing]

MELISSA:
You can't just SAY these things to me! Explain, now!

SAREENA:
Uh, it was my 15th jump, I remember it very clearly - as you would -

MELISSA:
Yes!

SAREENA:
I jumped out, I do my safety count, and then I remember- and then, doing my safety count, and then pulling my parachute doing my safety count again, and being like, 'I'm still falling-'

MELISSA:
[horrified] Ohhhhh!!

SAREENA:
And when I look up I'm like 'there's nothing there!'

MELISSA:
Oh my god!

SAREENA:
And with slightly more colourful language, I pull my reserve parachute out, and that pops up, and then I see my original parachute fly off to the side, I'm like 'CURSE YOU, WHY DIDN'T YOU WORK'-

MELISSA:
What! Really?

SAREENA:
Yeah, 'cause it was just sitting on my back, so my instructor could actually see me falling, and was like, yeah, because my positioning was just so great that no air was actually coming up to the parachute, so if I had wobbled a little bit it would have inflated-

MELISSA:
Ohhhhhhh!

SAREENA:
-so I pulled my second one out, and was like 'damn yoooooou!' [laughs] But it's fine.

MELISSA:
'It's fine', she says!! See, that! THAT is a nightmare to ME! Oh my god, ohh! I can't do it! I don't understand- you skydive for FUN, get out of here!

SAREENA:
It's so fun. So much fun!

MELISSA:
No thank you! So I guess- so that would work, then, would that count as a nightmare? Like if I- and it's just over like that, or is it a prolonged 3-hour, or however long you're dreaming, by falling for 3 hours?

[SpongeBob narrator voice: One Eternity Later...]

SAREENA:
It's just the length of you sleeping!

MELISSA:
Oh my god.

SAREENA:
Like, the length of your regular kind of dreams, that's what it would be. To be fair, the dreams where I do have my parachute not attached to me, I don't really feel in any danger, it's almost a very nice day when it happens. And I'm like-

MELISSA:
[SCOFFS] 'A very nice day'...

SAREENA:
It is! It's like blue skies, sun's shining, this is fantastic! But why are you over there?

[More laughter from both, though Melissa's is decidedly more horrified.]

SAREENA:
I feel there's been a bit of a disconnect!

MELISSA:
Very famous last words there, I'm thinking.

SAREENA:
"I imagine there's been a bit of a disconnect"...

MELISSA:
It's applicable in so many different situations! Least of all skydiving!

SAREENA:
But I'm convinced that because I've- you know, skydived and had my parachute not open and stuff like that-

MELISSA:
Right, right.

SAREENA:
-that I am gonna die in a really stupid way. [boing sound effect]

MELISSA:
[cracking up]

SAREENA:
Like, I'm gonna choke on a sweet or something and just really go out in a really boring way, like no, that's not how I want to be remembered! [laughs]

MELISSA:
Oh my god, that's so terrible but really funny... It's like- we had a- it was a running gag we had in my class in - I think it was middle school, or something, I think it was our yearbook quote or something? It was 'What Would Your Last Words Be?' And mine, I think I chose something like "Don't Worry, I Got This - I'm a Professional".

SAREENA:
[cracking up]

MELISSA:
It may very well happen, who knows!

SAREENA:
Yep, yep!

[More laughter from both.]

SAREENA:
So you are just going to see your dreams to completion then, right?

MELISSA:
Honestly yeah, I think so. Because... you know, I don't know if I could prepare for my scheduled nightmares, so.

SAREENA:
Would it help if you could pick from a nightmare selection?

MELISSA:
Not really! [laughs] It's still gonna be a not good experience, and I'll wake up grumpy and tired and upset anyways, so! I don't like that, no.

SAREENA:
But you could always plan that to be your self-care day, because you know you're gonna not sleep well, because... you know. Slenderman's coming after you, or something.

MELISSA:
[laughing]

SAREENA:
You're falling forever, OR you're watching Roma on repeat - you know, THAT could be the nightmare!

MELISSA:
[still laughing] I mean, you already lived through it the first time-

SAREENA:
I know!

MELISSA:
-so you're already halfway there!

SAREENA:
Oh my god. Never again.

MELISSA:
No thank you! I mean, I still haven't seen it but I don't want to, so.

SAREENA:
Good.

MELISSA:
Aw man, you know what? Maybe I don't want to jump into your dream and find out that I've had the misfortune to jump into your scheduled nightmare, that would suck! I would hate that, Sareena!

SAREENA:
That's true, that's true. But you've already made your decision on that question, so too bad!

MELISSA:
Whatever, it's fine! I'm sure it's fine, I'll just pop into one of the nice dreams.

SAREENA:
You can't choose, I pull you in!

MELISSA:
Wait, you choose to pull me in?

SAREENA:
You'd get pulled into a random friend's dream, so it could be the- spin the wheel, it's my turn to pull you into one of my dreams, it COULD be my scheduled nightmare.

MELISSA:
Oh yeah, 'cause that would suck.

SAREENA:
But we'd be in it together!

MELISSA:
Yes, we'd both be running for our lives instead of just you!

SAREENA:
Sharing is caring!

MELISSA:
What is it, "pain shared is pain halved", I guess?

SAREENA:
Yeah, that works too.

MELISSA:
Let's go with that.

SAREENA:
But on those nice feelings, what nice feelings do you have to share with us today?

[Soft chiming music playing throughout.]

MELISSA:
Well, thank you, Sareena, for that lead-in - but now it's time for our Self-Care Sign-Off. Now, we've been talking about dreams the whole episode - don't dream it, be it! ... I mean, I say that now, but remember - no matter how mundane or outlandish your dreams may be, you definitely gotta work for them. If you want that jetpack but it doesn't exist yet, get on it! Or find and support the people who ARE working on it! We're making all sorts of progress in so many different ways, so there's always room for what ifs. Who knows, maybe someday you WILL be able to find a way to talk to demons - we don't know!

Okay, potatoes! If you'd like to support us even more - because you have already, just listening this far! - there's a nice, crisp, compact link in our episode description waiting for you to click on it. There's merch, updates and more! And as always, our email is curriedchipsandpoutine@gmail.com.

Thank you so much for listening, we tell you we appreciate you every episode because we do! We love you very much.

BOTH:
Byeeeeee!

[Outro music playing.]