CC&P 25: The Origin Story (Season Finale)

[Intro music playing.]

SAREENA:
Hello, my favourite fried potatoes! Welcome to the season finale - [crowd gasping sound effect] - of Curried Chips & Poutine! I ... probably should have given you a heads up last week, but oh well, we’re here now! We’ve served up some sizzling episodes this season, had some heartbreaks - you know, when Melissa MADE me choose between ice cream and chocolate?

But most importantly, this podcast wouldn’t work without the friendship Melissa and I have shared over the last 8 years. It’s no secret that we’re great friends who met in the wonderful country of South Korea, but we thought we’d end season 2 by actually talking about our origin story!  And also because it’s the finale, we’re setting a Ko-fi goal of 30 cups! [sparkling sound effect] That means 10 wonderful fried potatoes donating $3 each, any caffeine support would be awesome!

But back to the episode! Buckle up for a tale of adventure, friendship faux pas and food, because it’s almost my dinner time! So Melissa, how did we meet?

MELISSA:
[whimsical folk music playing] Well, it was back in the summer of '67, when I was walking into a bar-

[Both cracking up immediately.]

MELISSA:
Okay, no, that's not actually how we met. We've talked about it before a little bit, but Sareena and I, we did meet in South Korea because we were taking part of this 'Teach and Learn in Korea'?

SAREENA:
Mmhmm yeah, the TaLK Program, yeah.

MELISSA:
Yeah, the TaLK Program! So we were in the same group, actually, so at the orientation when they have all of us foreigners in one giant room - we didn't get personally paired up, I don't think, until a bit later on in the program?

SAREENA:
Yeah.

MELISSA:
But we were in part of the group so we knew of each other. I don't think it was actually until we got to our province, when we split off into our provincial groups that we actually got to know each other better.

SAREENA:
Yeah, so basically how the program works is to level the playing fields in terms of English abilities within the rural areas of Korea versus the city, so you all go there as one big group, and you learn how to teach and all that good stuff, and then you get separated into your different provinces; so Melissa was in Jeonju, which was one hour away from where I was stationed in Gunsan, but we were within the same province and they also did mini orientation trips and get-togethers within that, and we got much closer from those kind of interactions, rather than the whole co-hort.

MELISSA:
'Cause we got whittled down from such a big group, and then our provincial groups we were, what, 15, 20 people?

SAREENA:
Yeah.

MELISSA:
Then obviously we all got to know each other, in the province of Jeollabuk-do, if anyone's keeping tabs! [laughs] Hard to think it was eight years ago.

SAREENA:
Yeah, I think that's what's so weird about it, like it was 8 years ago but I don't think a day or so has gone past that we either don't think about South Korea or talk to each other?

MELISSA:
Yeah!

SAREENA:
Which is really amazing. I think with experiences abroad like that, like teaching English or volunteering experiences, it really brings people together, and what's been really wonderful with South Korea is I've made some really amazing friends who I do talk to on a day to day basis, and I can't imagine my life without you now! ['awww' sound effect]

MELISSA:
Aww hahaha, same thing!! Like I never would have guessed, even 8 years in the future, that I'd be starting a podcast with one of the people I met here, on this country of South Korea. And here we are!

SAREENA:
Here we are! And it's amazing, so within this episode we've obviously shared little tidbits here and there about our shenanigans in South Korea, but hopefully we will elaborate a little bit more, and just share a bit more of our lives and our friendship with all of you lovely listeners!

MELISSA:
'Cause you're our friends too! So let's move on-

SAREENA:
Let's do.

MELISSA:
-well, 'let's move on', let's start, yes! [question time chime] So question number 1: so, would you rather wear a friendship hat - so like a BFF-type hat - or would you rather wear a friendship hoodie?

SAREENA:
Interesting. Well, if anyone knows me, I love my hair, so -

[Both laughing.]

SAREENA:
-and I love hoodies, so I definitely would be taking the friendship hoodie.

MELISSA:
I figured.

SAREENA:
Yeah. But in talking about hoodies, I don't think we have any clothing that's similar, or friendship-related in that way.

MELISSA:
Not really. I mean, I did give you my hat, my Leessang hat, I think you still have it, right?

SAREENA:
[crickets chirping sound effect] Uh, I'm pretty sure I gave it back to you, Melissa!

MELISSA:
Did you?? Do I still have it??

SAREENA:
Yes! I think you have it, you just have so much stuff you don't realize you still have it! [laughing]

MELISSA:
Okay fine, I'll have to find it, I'll have to dig it out, I think you're absolutely right. Anyways! I remember when you bought a hoodie, I was with you when you bought one, but I don't think we've had matching clothes or anything.

SAREENA:
And if you're in South Korea, you will notice, especially within couples, people will buy matching outfits, like completely head to toe, it's the same outfit. And it's really quite something to see-

MELISSA:
Mmhmm!

SAREENA:
And Melissa and I, we've travelled around South Korea quite often, and we went to Busan, which is our favourite city-

MELISSA:
Yes!!

SAREENA:
-to always go to the beach there, but we never- I don't think we indulged in that aspect of Korean culture, which is buying matching outfits.

[Both laughing.]

MELISSA:
It's such a big thing there, and it's very cute - you know, couple phone cases- oh my god, they had couple lip balm. One end was one flavour, so it's like cherry or whatever, the other one is the vanilla, so the idea being that one of you puts it on, the other one puts the other flavour on, and then you kiss - [anime 'wow!' sound effect] - and you make a whole flavour combo.

SAREENA:
[laughing]

MELISSA:
I'm like, "cute..... but all right".

SAREENA:
Stretching, there.

MELISSA:
A little bit, yes.

SAREENA:
I remember when we were in Busan, and selfie sticks just arrived into South Korea-

MELISSA:
Yeees!

SAREENA:
-and we were like, "what is this contraption? Let's buy 10!" [cash register 'cha-ching' sound effect] And we bought a selfie stick, and it had the bluetooth clicker, so instead of the stick has the button on it, you click and take the picture; but we got it and it was a separate bluetooth clicker, which was quite useful. So you take the selfie stick in one hand and you click with the other - [camera shutter sound effect] - and I just remembered we took a hop on and off bus around Busan that particular trip and we got some really great shots!

MELISSA:
Oh my god, selfie sticks came and went so quickly, didn't they? It was like, oh they were so hot a few years ago! Now nobody has one, I was like "oh... guess I'll just put mine in the closet again, it's fine".

SAREENA:
Yeah, so 2015.

MELISSA:
[pained] Ohhh, don't say that! Ohh... But yeah. I think we do have matching Sailor Moon wands, I think that's about it actually.

SAREENA:
That's true, yeah. In terms of what we probably could have had, you know, the shopping that we've done together, I think the Sailor Scout ones are kind of the only thing that we have, actually.

MELISSA:
Mmhmm, actually! For the record I'd probably go with a hat, but I can't really wear- well, no, I'd probably go with a hoodie as well. [sad boing sound effect] I can't wear hats for too long, I get really hot.

SAREENA:
[laughing] I was gonna say, that's quite surprising, but then you did your stepback and went, "actually...."

MELISSA:
Shut up!

SAREENA:
[more laughing]

MELISSA:
It's always been my curse, I love hats, but I am a very, incredibly warm person so I can never wear hats for very long. Even in the dead of winter when it's cold, when it's -25 degrees out I'll wear a hat, but the second I get inside it's off, I can't stand to have it on for any longer.

SAREENA:
Yeah. No, that makes sense. I like hats, but I prefer everyone seeing my great hair instead, so. [laughs] I limit my hat usage.

MELISSA:
Oh my god.

SAREENA:
Great, so we'll go for matching hoodies, so clearly this is something we can arrange in the future.

MELISSA:
Heyyy!

SAREENA:
But if you want to get gear that we have, head on over to our Redbubble store!

MELISSA:
Oh, that's true! We've both bought t-shirts of our own merchandise, but of the different designs. I have, of course, my Halloween design, and Sareena has the classic, so.

SAREENA:
Yeah, something for everyone.

[Both laughing.]

MELISSA:
Hooray!

SAREENA:
[question time chime] All right, question number 2: Would you rather be able to see your bestie every day, but only be able to have enough time to chat about surface-level things? Or have no communication for the whole year, until you meet for two weeks where you can share everything?

MELISSA:
Ohhh, I don't like this!

SAREENA:
[laughing]

MELISSA:
This hits a little too close to home, friend!

SAREENA:
Yeah, it does...

MELISSA:
Wait so hang on, we're meeting face-to-face and we're talking for two weeks?

SAREENA:
Yeah, so say we meet up... in several years' time for a holiday together, because we haven't seen each other in how many years, where we can actually have a face-to-face conversation!

MELISSA:
We're not allowed to just text each other in between??

SAREENA:
For this particular question, no.

MELISSA:
[gasping in horror]  I don't know, man! Considering how often WE talk, I'm like, either of these is kind of just... oh my god.

SAREENA:
Yeah.

MELISSA:
Even an every day thing-

SAREENA:
You don't want to see me every day?

MELISSA:
No, it's not that! It's just like, if you talk every day but it's never about anything of substance, I'm like, are you really talking?

SAREENA:
[laughing]

MELISSA:
If a friend's just like, "hey how are you?", "Oh you know, it's good", "what'd you eat for dinner today?" "this", "okay cool", then that's it? Every day?

SAREENA:
Yeah. I mean, you could probably be like, "on this particular day I'm going to share something that's been bothering me", but the timeframe won't give you enough to actually go into it, or won't give me enough to offer any useful advice or make you feel better, it'll be like - [beeping sound effect] - "okay, time's up, bye!"

MELISSA:
Noooo!

SAREENA:
Or I can disappear off the face of the earth but you'll know I'm alive, 'cause then on this designated two weeks of the year I'm like, "hi Melissa!!"

MELISSA:
Two weeks of the YEAR, no less! Not even like, two weeks of every couple of months, just once a year, two weeks?

SAREENA:
I was thinking of like, "ooh maybe I should do it for a month", but then it'd be so obvious which one you would pick, so I had to make it a bit difficult for you.

MELISSA:
I mean, you're absolutely right, but... [sad music playing] .... Two weeks of- [whining]

SAREENA:
[laughing]

MELISSA:
The idea of only being able to talk to you for just 14 days in a whole year? Nooooo!

SAREENA:
Yeah, I am pretty fantastic. [downwards boing sound effect] [cracking up]

MELISSA:
Ugh, okay bud, all right.... Don't make me regret that!

SAREENA:
I'm trying to help you decide!

MELISSA:
I dunno man, I mean, I HAVE had friends who disappear off the face of the planet and then be like, "hey sorry, so THIS happened!" and I'll be like, "oh my god", right? But you know, they DO come in contact more than 14 days a year.

SAREENA:
Yeah.

MELISSA:
I dunno.... maybe the every day one, because at least it's every day, and there's that daily sense of "oh I get to talk to my friend, I get to bring up this one thing before she gets spirited away - [ascending boop sound effect] - after five minutes".

SAREENA:
Yeah, I know, I mean - you know, obviously, as all of our questions either has their pros and cons, but I was just obviously playing on the fact that we aren't usually in the same place at the same time, and if we are it is just for about two weeks max before we go home. But I really enjoyed the short trips that we took in South Korea, or the holiday we took to Japan together-

MELISSA:
Aww.

SAREENA:
-or when I came and visited you in Canada - I think those travel experiences definitely brought us so much closer than what we already were in South Korea, that kind of intensive time together, I really appreciate it and enjoy it. But then yeah, at the same time, I wouldn't be able to talk to you for the rest of the year, so this podcast wouldn't be able to exist! [laughs]

MELISSA:
It's true, the only time we could talk would be when we record, so that's not ideal! Though it's funny, because you mentioned you came to visit me for about two weeks, and I came to visit you, and it was only one day! [boing sound effect]

SAREENA:
[laughs] It was just unfortunate timing on everybody's part!

MELISSA:
It was, unfortunately! I mean, don't get me wrong, it was fantastic - so what happened was, I planned a two week vacation to Scotland, and Sareena was literally only available to hang out ONE DAY. So really, it was kind of like a worst of both worlds for the question you just asked me.

SAREENA:
Yeah.... oops.

MELISSA:
It was so good though, it was the best, but... still, it was only ONE day. But... when it's legal to travel again!

SAREENA:
Yeah, when it's legal!

MELISSA:
See, I kind of hate that you mentioned going on adventures, because that leads perfectly into my next question, damn it. [question time chime] Question number 3! So it was, would you rather go on an epic adventure with your friends, but only once a year? OR would you rather have smaller ventures a couple times a week, so when I say smaller ventures, just like... grocery shopping, or like movie night.

SAREENA:
Ah, but an epic one... see, ooh... Are you saying 'epic' as in when I came to Canada or our Japan trip, for example, versus what we did in South Korea?

MELISSA:
Yeah, actually. That's a pretty good way of kind of comparing the two, so going on an adventure for a week or two, exploring all the things, getting horribly lost, and language barriers?

SAREENA:
Yeah?

MELISSA:
Or meeting up a couple times a week to have dinner, or watch Godzilla movies?

SAREENA:
[laughing] I think I will definitely take the smaller excursions-

MELISSA:
Yeah.

SAREENA:
-because I think at the moment it's such a novelty, and we were in South Korea, it was those moments that I really cherish; because when you move to any country that isn't your own, it's so incredibly important to make sure that you have a support network, to have people you trust and you feel like you can be yourself with, and just have someone you know is your person there! And so having dinner together, or when you would come over to my city or if I was going over to yours, that was just so great that I would prefer that.

MELISSA:
Oh absolutely, I mean, same thing. Because you know, I am a simple person, little things like that is what makes me happy, like... epic adventures are great, and we've had some, and they HAVE been great, but it's just the small things, your daily comfort, and especially 'cause you mentioned that yeah, it is kind of a novelty at this point... which kind of makes me sad, because it's a novelty for a whole bunch of reasons, granted, that we live an ocean apart, but. [ocean waves sound effect]

SAREENA:
Details, details!

MELISSA:
Details, yeah.

SAREENA:
But I think having kind of your more casual, or smaller meetings more often, I think it gives you that chance to have the little funny moments that you kind of define your friendship by?

MELISSA:
Yeeees!

SAREENA:
I'm gonna lead into your one, but I am gonna share one I have with another friend-

MELISSA:
Okay.

SAREENA:
They'll know who they're gonna be, but I'm not gonna name any names. I remember this was back in high school, this was when I was fasting, so Ramadan Mubarak to anyone who's listening and fasting at the moment - but I must have said I was hungry in some kind of capacity, but my friend, bless him, he was like, "oh, do you want some of this HAM SANDWICH?" [awkward sproing sound effect] And I was just like, "1. I'm fasting and 2. I don't eat ham or pork things!"

[Both cracking up.]

SAREENA:
And to this day it's a story that I look back on fondly, but I will never let him forget it.

MELISSA:
Speaking of, hey! Remember that one time we went to Busan, and we were talking about your country, and I asked if you still used shillings? [downward boing sound effect] [cracking up throughout]

SAREENA:
It just unlocked this hidden rage that I didn't know I had inside me, but it clearly is there! You know, the whole freedom, patriot within me, it did start there - because no, we do NOT use shillings in Scotland, and no, we do NOT trade in sheep! [laughing] We use pounds as currency like everyone else! I think- yeah, it was Friday night, we had just got to Busan and we were looking for somewhere to eat, and we were just wandering around. You just came out with it, I was just, 'EXCUSE ME?' [laughing some more]

MELISSA:
It was, I think, the funniest thing in the world to me, because every time I even so much as mention shillings, just- the fury just kind of bubbles up and like, "WELL, MELISSA-!" It was just so funny! Because really and truly, I knew about pounds and pence, but reading British literature they have things like tuppence and shillings and ha'pennies and things, and I'm like "what? Are those real? Are those things you still use?" And then, just the damgates just broke, so - [crashing sound effect] - "oh, okay, so no, you don't".

SAREENA:
No! The answer is NO!

[Both laughing some more.]

MELISSA:
To anyone who's asking now, no!

SAREENA:
If you DO ask your Scottish friends this, be prepared for unbridled rage!

MELISSA:
Oh, it was a good time. 'Cause I think we were also kind of testy because we ordered some sort of like, what? Squid and french fries or something.

SAREENA:
That was it! [cracking up] That was it, in Korea - you know, any other place wants to cater to Western audiences or whatever-

MELISSA:
Tourists, yeah.

SAREENA:
-I think menu did have fish and chips? I was like, "oh my god, feeling a bit homesick! Sure, let me get fish and chips!" And then it was fricking cuttlefish and chips?? And coupled with the fact that you just said that my country uses shillings, and I was just like "oh my god! I'm just having a moment!".

MELISSA:
[bagpipes music playing] I could just hear the bagpipes going off in the background as she yelled at me for like ten minutes straight!

SAREENA:
But CUTTLEFISH and chips, it was very nice, but it wasn't fish and chips, you know?

MELISSA:
That, I think, I would consider that to be false advertising, because different kind of fish altogether!

SAREENA:
So different!

[Both laughing.]

SAREENA:
If you squint you can see the similarities. But this leads perfectly into - [question time chime] - question number 4! Would you rather have a bestie that had the opposite food preferences? Or the opposite film preferences to you?

MELISSA:
Oh no!

SAREENA:
[laughing]

MELISSA:
You're making me think about this one! Okay, aw man... maybe... opposite film preferences? Because I get really worked up about food things.

SAREENA:
Mmm.

MELISSA:
Because everyone's entitled to their own opinions about things, right? But pickles are a crime and I'm still standing by that, so - gonna go opposite movie preferences! 'Cause there's other ways to hang out, but food is such a core part of how I hang out with people, so I don't know, man, I don't think I could handle that.

SAREENA:
Yeah, that's true, I think if you have such differing food preferences, it will always be so difficult to find the middle ground, and you know, the middle ground could always be the same type of food; if you really like Mexican, but I really want to have Indian food all the time, then our middle ground might be Italian, and all we do is eat pasta. [laughs]

MELISSA:
Which is not a bad thing, but you can get probably tired of it pretty quick.

SAREENA:
Yeah, 'cause you know when you meet a friend, you want to go out and have food with them, and part of the small adventure is, "let's try this new place together", and I really like trying new places with friends, because you're both going in with no expectations.

MELISSA:
I mean, that's true, and obviously because you can usually agree on a place, like "oh this place looks like it has really good ice cream, let's get ice cream!" "No, I don't like ice cream, let's not go there"-

SAREENA:
We can't be friends if you don't like ice cream.

[Both cracking up.]

MELISSA:
Exactly, see? Dealbreaker!

SAREENA:
It is, yeah.

MELISSA:
I have lots of vegetarian friends, and a few vegan friends, but if they wanted me to go vegan I'd be like peaceeeeeee, can't do it.

SAREENA:
No, but you would be up for at least trying a restaurant-

MELISSA:
Absolutely.

SAREENA:
-or most restaurants nowadays do have vegetarian and vegan options so there would be something for you, but it's just- I hate all of these things.

MELISSA:
Yeah.

SAREENA:
"I only want to eat cuttlefish and chips, and I refuse to eat anything else!"

MELISSA:
"Oh Sareena, let's go to this all-citrus restaurant, it's great!" [deep boing sound effect]

SAREENA:
Ugh.

[Both cracking up.]

SAREENA:
For anyone who doesn't know, I'm allergic to citrus. It enrages me just as much as being asked if Scotland still uses shillings.

MELISSA:
Oh my god. To be fair, that was an allergy that you developed later on the road, like you didn't come to Korea with one, right? You got one when you were there, I think?

SAREENA:
No no, I had it before I came to Korea, I got it when I was 16, unfortunately. But yes, that's even worse, so I know how great lemons and oranges and all that is, but I just can't have that anymore so I'm just like aaaah.

MELISSA:
Yeah, that sucks. I'm sorry, that suuuucks.

SAREENA:
It does, but I will join you in having a bestie who has opposite film preferences to me, because like you said, there's other ways to hang out and that's fine, maybe I want to indulge a friend in watching maybe a romance film or what, a rom-com, what the kids call it. [laughs] And then the other time I'll be like, "right, we're watching Godzilla today!" and you can offset it that way.

MELISSA:
'Cause I feel like for me it's not big deal but, "what, Godzilla? Those movies are dumb, I don't wanna watch those!"

SAREENA:
[gasp] How dare you! But actually, Godzilla and food, you, me and two other friends - you actually came over to my city, and we had pizza and food and we were chilling, and we went and seen Godzilla! I remember that day so clearly. [laughs]

MELISSA:
It was so much fun! And then afterwards I just kind of tore into it because we didn't see ENOUGH Godzilla! I don't care about this HUMAN SUBPLOT, I wanna see Godzilla!

SAREENA:
Yeah, I know! I mean, that's always gonna be the issue with Godzilla is, the people, but you know.

MELISSA:
[laughs]

SAREENA:
Yeah, I'll save that for my separate podcast.

MELISSA:
Where Sareena rants about things.

SAREENA:
Just Godzilla.

MELISSA:
"Shillings and Sheep"!

SAREENA:
[cracking up] "Shillings and Sheep"!!

MELISSA:
[question time chime] Moving on to my last question, question number 5! So! Would you rather live with your friends in one house, or would you rather live in one building complex, but have your own little apartments?

SAREENA:
[incredibly put out] I wish you could see my face, I wish you could SEE! MY! FACE! Word for word, oh my god, that is my 6th question!!

MELISSA:
[WHEEZING LAUGHTER] Oh my god, are you for real??

SAREENA:
I'm SO GLAD I have a backup question! Oh my god...

MELISSA:
[still dying]

SAREENA:
I was like, "oh my god Melissa's gonna lose her mind when I ask her this question!", but no way did I think this would face me!!

[More general uproaring laughter.]

[BEEP]

MELISSA:
Oh my god, we've joked about this before, how we're two halves of the same person, but this question!

SAREENA:
Yeah, in this moment I wish we were youtube livestreaming or something, literally my jaw dropped and I was like "NO! Not again!!"

MELISSA:
For the friendship episode, no less! You really do love me!

[Both cracking up again.]

SAREENA:
We live in a state of symbiosis!

MELISSA:
We do!

SAREENA:
I'ma gonna take the complex. Can you just imagine? I have friends from high school, university, South Korea, when I was in California, you know, different work environments... all of us living in one house? I just do not see us gelling, because you're at different ages at these different stages of your life, you know you're learning who you are and your identity, and you're growing; and so the people you meet at these stages fit with you in those moments of your life, but you're not the same person to every single person?

MELISSA:
Oh god, that's right.

SAREENA:
So... high school friends will know and have stories of me when I was terrible at Latin and couldn't do grammar to save myself. And you know, my friends in South Korea will not really have any kind of idea of how I was, and then also just the range of friends? I feel like I can-

MELISSA:
Oh yeah.

SAREENA:
-mix with different people, but if you brought them all together it doesn't mean that they would all get on? So I think for the best relationship for everyone is to have their own flat, or their own apartment in a building at least so I can be, "hey I'm going to be up at such and such place, everyone's free to join", and that group of friends could all meet together. But the next day I could meet the different group of friends, rather than have you as the link.

MELISSA:
Yeah, that puts a lot of pressure on you, 'cause that actually happened to me. So, I had a birthday party a few years ago, but I invited some friends- oh my god, some high school friends that I'm still friends with, right - high school friends, university friends and work friends, and it was... oh my god, it was awkward, because I was the one common link and they didn't know anyone else at the table, so they're just talking amongst themselves, I'm like, "ohhh this is awkwaaaard!"

So I feel you, I absolutely feel you, and the fact that you're right - you know, a high school friend won't know the full extent of my shenanigans trying to step into the adult world of teaching English in a different country. And then my friends from Korea have no idea what I was like when I was, you are correct - when I was young, and dumb, and full of bubblegum. [popping sound effect] But yeah, absolutely I would go with the complex, because it's nice having your own space too-

SAREENA:
Yes.

MELISSA:
-because I mean, it's one thing to be over at someone's house all the time anyways, but to have a place to come home to, by yourself, to kind of unwind, that's really nice. And that's one thing I did like about living in Korea, was that I had my own space, and I didn't have roommates, didn't have family there, just me and my space. Of course, Sareena came over all the time, but-

SAREENA:
Yes.

MELISSA:
-you know, it's still different, she didn't LIVE there!

SAREENA:
Yeah, it may sound like I did, but I didn't!

[Both laughing.]

SAREENA:
But yeah, absolutely. And I think having everyone in the one place kind of reminds me of university?

MELISSA:
Yes.

SAREENA:
Living in dorms, and everyone is around all the time, and you have that one communal space. It's quite intense, and I think if I was much younger, yeah, totally all about that, because you do just want to meet everybody; but I think, as I am now, I understand and appreciate having your own space, and just having a place where you can come back to and relax and wind down like you said.

And then you can go out to the communal spaces and meet friends, or invite them in, you still have that element of control - but then you still have that comfort as well, like actually, if I need to talk to Melissa face to face, I'd just go up the next floor.

MELISSA:
Yeah, exactly. And you know, it brings up another thing too, because you are so right, it is like living back in university. You also learn that some people that you are best friends with, may not be the best people to live with?

SAREENA:
Yes.

MELISSA:
And I've known so many people who have had those kinds of dreams dashed, being like, "oh yeah, my best friend and I? We got an apartment, it's gonna be the best thing ever!" And then three months later they'll be like "I hate their guts", and I'm like ooooooh.

SAREENA:
"She doesn't like ICE CREAM, she didn't tell me beforehand and I bought ALL OF THIS ICE CREAM", yeah it's ... awful!

MELISSA:
"She left all the hair in the drain!!" I've been lucky that my university roommate is one of my best friends now - shout out to you know exactly who you are, but-

SAREENA:
Voldemort?

MELISSA:
[laughs] Stop it.

SAREENA:
That's why things like travelling or living together is just so revealing!

MELISSA:
Yes.

SAREENA:
Actually, can your friendship survive all aspects of life, or does it only work in this contained environment of "yes we're gonna meet for a meal, have a nice chat, then we're gonna go our separate ways until next time".

MELISSA:
Yeah, that's true. I kinda feel like - maybe travel is the bigger test, isn't it? With travel you have the extra stress of being in another country, you might not know the language, and obviously you aren't familiar with all the customs and things, right? But- oh, maybe living at home, hmm... I don't know.

SAREENA:
I think they're kind of like almost equal?

MELISSA:
Yeah?

SAREENA:
But at least with travel, there's the sense that you still have your home base to go back to, you know?

MELISSA:
That's true.

SAREENA:
There's a moment of respite there. But if you're living together it's just like "oh my god! They're using the bathroom!" or "they're still there!"

Speaking of maybe not understanding the culture or whatever, I think maybe the first weekend when I went to yours to meet you, we were just chatting on the pavement, and there was this Korean lady in front of us. It's quite interesting for Koreans to hear people, or foreigners speaking in English, because obviously that's not what is spoken around, and this lady turned around, and just stroked my arm! [SHOCK]

MELISSA:
Oh my god, yes!

SAREENA:
Because Koreans also have this really amazing ability of not really having that much body hair, so me being of Pakistani descent I'm very hairy, so my arm obviously was a lot fuzzier than she was accustomed to. Instead of asking me to like, stroke my arm, she just went out and did it! And I was just like, "MELISSA WHAT KIND OF PLACE DO YOU LIVE IN? This doesn't happen to me in MY city!!"

MELISSA:
Oh my god, I was gonna say, "this doesn't HAPPEN in my city either, this just happens to be an outlier, I'm so sorry!!"

SAREENA:
[laughing]

MELISSA:
We learned a lot, sticking out as foreign thumbs as much as we did.

SAREENA:
Mmhmm.

MELISSA:
'Cause I remember - oh my god, something similar to this happened when I went to Japan, the second time with some other friends; because again, same thing, we speak English, and obviously that's not the dominant language there. So we were on the subway, and we're speaking in English, 'cause I think we were trying to figure out where else we were going, what we were excited about? And I see this woman, she's kind of inching a little closer, standing on the subway, it looks like she's trying to listen in - I turn to her, I was like, "oh, hi!"

I felt so bad, I embarrassed her off the train!!  Because she started giggling, because she was caught - [alert sound effect] - listening to these foreigners having a conversation, she got off on the next stop!

SAREENA:
[laughing] But that happened to us! So, a custom in Korea - well, not custom, just ... bathing? Bathing in Korea-

MELISSA:
Oh yeah, yep, bathing.

SAREENA:
They have public baths there, so basically you go, and you usually go with your family, so it's segregated, so whatever gender you identify with, that's where you go. And you get naked and you have a bath! And it's just very normal for Korea- I think for other places in Asia as well-

MELISSA:
Oh yeah.

SAREENA:
-they kind of have that open-style bathing. It's only in Western-style countries, we're like "oh god!!"

MELISSA:
"Everyone's naked!!"

SAREENA:
Everyone's naked! And so, being young and in a new country, you want to try everything, and we were like, "we're gonna do it, we're gonna try!" And then you get to the moment where you get to the locker, you know, everyone's chatting, "this is so fun ha ha ha!" And then it comes to the moment, like "wait.... I have to now take off my clothes!" [laughs]

MELISSA:
Yep! Time to disrobe!

SAREENA:
Yeah. So Melissa and I did that quite often, because it was quite a freeing experience, I have to say.

MELISSA:
Oh, yes.

SAREENA:
It's so nice as well, they have a range of baths you can take as well, with all different kinds of healing properties and temperatures,and showers, and you can get exfoliating-

MELISSA:
Oh my god.

SAREENA:
-scrubs and things.

[Both cracking up while reminiscing.]

SAREENA:
And yeah, it was quite a fun thing to do, and you get clean, and you have a very open conversation with your friend-

MELISSA:
-when you're two feet apart, in a tub! Honest to god, it was actually, like Sareena said, so liberating! Because the people, their heads do not turn because we're foreign, if anything they'd turn because we were speaking English in a bathhouse, which is definitely not common, because I feel like a lot of people have hangups about being naked? I get it, I absolutely do-

SAREENA:
Mmhmm.

MELISSA:
But definitely worth it. We went to some really fancy ones too, eh?

SAREENA:
Like in Busan, I think that was probably the fanciest one we went to.

MELISSA:
Yes.

SAREENA:
It was a very big, multi-tier spa experience, and there's saunas in there, and the steam rooms, and you've got ice cold pools, and the really hot and in-between stuff, it was really amazing. And it was quite liberating, because you know, we live in a culture that puts a lot of emphasis on how you should look, and what your body should be, and different sizes and blah blah blah. But you know, here, was someone we could hang out with in all capacity, and it's really cool, and yeah, it became one of the things that we did, when we met up! [laughs]

MELISSA:
I wish we could still do that! But alas, there's many, MANY factors in the way of us doing this. But as I remember, I think there was the outdoor bath too - we went to Japan, we also went to one, because of course - and the outdoor bath, we just sat there for so long because it was so nice out there!

SAREENA:
Yeah, absolutely! 'Cause I remember, I went to one in New Zealand, but that was obviously clothed, because... you know.

MELISSA:
Yeah.

SAREENA:
And it was just nice, but it was- it didn't have the same feel as the ones we had in Korea.

[Both cracking up.]

MELISSA:
Missing that 'je ne sais quoi', I think.

SAREENA:
Yeah. If you're ever in Asia and you get a chance to go into a public bath - yes, it's a bit scary at first, but it's really nice. And it's also a cheap place to stay the night.

MELISSA:
Yeah. In some places, when we say 'cheap accomodations' it's just like a mat and a block to lie on, but. Ah, good times, my god I miss those!

SAREENA:
A whole 8 years ago, huh?

MELISSA:
8 years since I've been properly scrubbed, I suppose!

[More laughter.]

SAREENA:
[question time chime] Right, so I'm gonna go with my question 6, which is NOT my question 6 because you stole my question!

MELISSA:
[laughs] I read your mind, is what!

SAREENA:
Yes, exactly! So here's my backup question: Would you rather have a friend who is so excited, like just generally in life, that they always accidentally spoil films, games, or TV series? Or, have a friend who's always late, and they forget important dates like your birthday, or if you ask them to turn up somewhere they would just forget-

MELISSA:
[gasping]

SAREENA:
Once they realize, they'd be like "oh my god, I'm so sorry!" but they would always do it.

MELISSA:
Okay, so. I've BEEN both of these people, and I've also been friends with both of these people-

SAREENA:
Okay!

MELISSA:
I think the spoilers one I could probably deal with more, because forgetting about plans, it feels like such a slap in the face, you know? And life happens, I get it, I do, but it's not a nice feeling! I've been waiting here for 45 minutes and you're texting me like "oh I just woke up LOL sorry can I take a raincheck?" I'll be like, "ughhh....."

SAREENA:
Yeah.

MELISSA:
So I'll go with the excited spoilers, because- okay, here's my excuse, but! When I get excited about a thing that a friend is- it's because I'm excited for them to get as excited about it as I am-

SAREENA:
Yeah! [laughs]

MELISSA:
I'm like [excited gasping]. And my sister has called me out on this, I'm very bad at keeping stuff to myself when it comes to spoilers. I'm like, "okay, I'm gonna be good!" Preemptively, I have to not look up spoilers at all, so that's how I've curtailed that.

SAREENA:
Yeah.

MELISSA:
Even if things get spoiled, like.... it's not the worst thing in the world? Annoying, yes, but not the worst thing in the world.

SAREENA:
Yeah, I had a friend, I think I was watching- what was it, a TV series called Revenge or something? Anyway, there was quite an important turning point I hadn't quite reached, and then she was just like, "oh, so you know about this person?" I was like, "EXCUSE ME?" And she was like "oh...."

MELISSA:
Yeah!!

SAREENA:
"I'll just fade into the background now..." I was like "CURSE YOU"! But it wasn't a big deal, it was just sharing in your interests, like oh I wanna discuss this part with you. So I get it, there's no malice behind something being spoiled.

MELISSA:
You know, it's different though - someone who is spoiling something for you out of malice versus someone who is excited.

SAREENA:
Yeah, but this is just, they're just really excited. I would also take the excited friend who always spoils things for me, it's just like, 'oh okay that's just them'. But the thing is, I can't transfer that to 'oh that's just them' if they just forget everything?

MELISSA:
Yeah... 'Cause I'm like "oh that's just, they do that with everyone", I'm like "it doesn't make me feel any better, does it?"

SAREENA:
No, 'cause I feel like with friends, and I think as you get a bit older, you know, it's really important who you have around you, and the people who you know are your people - so if you do need them, or if you just need a quick chat or whatever, you can contact them and they'll be there.

But if you have someone who always forgets - say, Melissa, we're going to podcast every weekend, and you forgot every week? That would just make me feel I wasn't prioritized, or I don't have much standing in your life in terms of our relationship and that sort of thing, I think that's really difficult for me. But then at the same time, I've had friends where I don't talk to them for a long time, and it's not because I don't want to talk to them for any reason, it's just that, we're just not talking at this moment! And we might miss each other's birthdays or whatever, but when we do talk it's absolutely fine. So it depends, if I have an active friend who's actively forgetting things, like.... yeah, no. [laughs]

MELISSA:
Yeah, it does make you feel like, like you said, it does make you feel like you're devalued, like you didn't care enough to remember that we were gonna podcast this week; or, you didn't care enough to remember that we were supposed to meet to go see a movie that I was really looking forward to, you know? It's not great, and like I said, I get it - sometimes stuff comes up, sometimes mental illness makes it hard to remember these things, but the important thing is that if you reach out and try to change out of not making it a habit all the time?

SAREENA:
Yeah, absolutely.

MELISSA:
The effort is there.

SAREENA:
Yeah, the effort and open to communication, just letting people know you're trying, I think that's the most important thing.

MELISSA:
Mmhmm.

SAREENA:
And I think that's been a really good marker of the friends that I do keep contact with, or the friends from Korea that I still talk to, it's like that feeling like I am valued, I do feel prioritized when we do say we're gonna meet and have video chats, and that's what makes them really special. And that's what makes our friendship really special, even though it's been 8 years we still put in that effort, spice it up by doing a podcast this year!

[Both laughing.]

MELISSA:
The training wheels come off the friendship, Sareena, we're now recording things every week!

SAREENA:
Yes! This is now a serious friendship!

MELISSA:
Being a very friendly person, I love and cherish my friends, it's always like "oh my god this thing happened, can't wait to text Sareena about it!"

SAREENA:
Yeah, it would be a shame to have that feeling of excitement and not have it reciprocated as well.

MELISSA:
Yeah, yeah. People have different vibes, which I get, but it's nice to feel the same energy being reciprocated, being all 'I'm putting into this what you're putting into this too'.

SAREENA:
Yeah, exactly. I'm picking up what you're putting down-

MELISSA:
Yeah!

SAREENA:
And I think that's the secret to our success over the years! [laughs]

MELISSA:
[laughs too] I mean, I'm honestly still surprised I still have my head after the whole shillings thing, geez, that was... It was so intense, guys, you don't understand! It was really, really funny, granted, but wow!

SAREENA:
Yeah, and that's so surprising because I'm never usually like that about anything!

MELISSA:
I know!

SAREENA:
Just shillings, just shillings!

MELISSA:
Aah. We've had 8 years as friends and I'm like, that thing just always, ALWAYS makes me laugh, every single time.

SAREENA:
Without fail. We've got silly photos, we've et so many great meals together, but you know, the one sticking point is the shillings question.

[Both laughing.]

SAREENA:
So hopefully, you've enjoyed this episode that's focused more on about us as people, as friends, and hopefully got some good tips on what to look out for in a good friend! [laughs] We're 8 years and counting, but yeah, it's been really fun to do this podcast together, and just do something different, and just make sure that we're always communicating and staying open with each other, and I always love getting care packages from Melissa. I got an early birthday present, which is always really nice to see, but I will pass over to Melissa to sign off the episode for our finale!

MELISSA:
Yes indeedy, season finale! With that comes an appropriate Season Finale Self-Care Sign-Off! [gentle chiming music playing throughout]
We joke about the power of friendship, but it's really one of the strongest things out there! Good friends are the ultimate hype squad - they'll pick you up when all you want to do is lie down, they'll help you order that takeaway and then eat it with you, but most importantly, they're always there for you! So don't be afraid to reach out.

My dear listeners and friends! If you'd like to support us even more, remember that we do have a ko-fi goal of 30 cups! [sparkling sound effect] If you'd like to help us out, there's a nice, crisp, compact link in our episode description just waiting for you to click on it. There's merch, updates, and more! And as always, our email is curriedchipsandpoutine@gmail.com.

Thank you so much for listening to the end of our second season! We love and appreciate you very much. Stay delicious!

BOTH:
See you next tiiiiiime!

[Outro music playing.]