Transcript
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Hello everyone, thanks again for joining me on the episode of the Dorsua Show.
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Today we have Melanie Brown, who is fighting to overcome life's tough challenges, and thriving isn't just the message she shares in her writing and speaking on the Challenges Won't Stop Me podcast.
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It's the message she lived all her life.
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Decades of neurological struggles and brain injury tried to stop her, but she chose to keep moving forward and pursue all God's land for her.
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Spending time in nature, solving rigor puzzles and enjoying the 80s in music her husband's band plays are her favorite activities.
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Her greatest blessings are 30 wonderful years of marriage, two chefs, two amazing adult sons, a beautiful daughter-in-law and a cuddly Labradoodle.
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Melanie, thank you so much for coming on the show today.
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I'm excited to spend some time with you, dorsey, absolutely.
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Usually I like to open up with a sort of easy icebreaker question and what's your favorite funny story to tell?
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Funny story to tell.
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Well, I will say that it actually goes along with one of my challenges.
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Almost three years ago, this Thanksgiving, I had to have emergency surgery because my colon flipped upside down.
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Now it's a rare thing.
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I didn't do anything to cause it.
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They don't know why it happens, but nonetheless it did.
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I had to have surgery and fast forward.
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About six months later I go to my regular dentist checkup.
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I'm explaining to him because as part of getting ready for your dental cleaning, you have to update your health records, right, and I'm telling the dentist about it.
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So I'm telling my dentist the story about what happened, crazy as it was.
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And I said and they took half of my colon and just like that, dorsey, he says oh, so now you're a semicolon.
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I'm like, yeah, you're 100% right, I had not thought of it like that.
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So I use that as my funny story all the time.
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Yeah, and I give him credit because I wasn't the one that came up with the semicolon.
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It was Dr.
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Cole.
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Tell us a little bit more about you know before we talk about your book and you know about your writing.
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Tell us a little bit more about your story.
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Sure, absolutely Well.
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My story starts at age two, when I had a stroke that paralyzed the left side of my body, and in 1972, I'm revealing my age I was two, so I'm 53 years old.
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They didn't know in 1972 why a two-year-old would be having a stroke Like that, just wasn't normal.
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The normal box for people who had strokes were people who were 65 years or older, who maybe were obese, they smoked, they drank alcohol, they were not healthy.
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That just didn't fit me at all, and so they didn't know what to tell my parents, except we're sorry, and here's some baby aspirin and physical therapy.
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Good luck, right.
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And so my parents.
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I'm just so blessed that I was given those parents, because when they got home, of course it was overwhelming how did this happen?
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What do we do that kind of thing?
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But my parents said this stinks, what happened to her?
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But we're not going to let it stop her from being a kid who does all the things that kids do, at least try them, and we're not going to let it define her.
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And so I lived my childhood very much like any other kid.
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I had to learn how to ride a bike, which took me quite a bit longer, because the stroke caused balance issues.
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I had to do all the sports because my dad was a sports enthusiast, still is, and it's not as much that I had to do it.
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They wanted me to do it to get the full childhood experience.
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But the blessing that came out of that is that it strengthened my left side.
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Now did it make it back up to normal as my right side?
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Nope, still not normal, but it helped me significantly.
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So now we fast forward to my late 20s and I start having migraines, which are also a neurological incident.
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It's not a stroke, but it's a neurological incident, and that lasted for about 10 years and they were debilitating.
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It wasn't once every 90 days or once a year or anything like that, it was two or three a week and debilitating in that many times I couldn't go to work.
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Many times I spent several days in the bed because they were just so awful.
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Again, no explanation for why this is happening, except I'm asking the question are these related?
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Because stroke is neurological, migraines are neurological.
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Are they related?
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And my doctors kept saying no's not a stroke of bad luck.
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I know I'm not a medical professional, but I know my body and I and I know that this just doesn't make sense.
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So finally got the migraines under control so that they weren't completely wrecking my life, and at about age 40, I started having many strokes.
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Well, again, neurological.
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So again I'm approaching my neurologist and saying, please, tell me that you know why all of these three types of neurological things are happening.
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No, actually I'm not.
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I know that I come and see you once every few months and you look at me and I look fine, but neurologically inside I'm struggling.
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And so, after my fourth mini stroke, my new neurologist that was listening to what I was saying and was concerned said we need to do an angiogram of your brain to see what's going on.
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Now, normally, dorsey, they do an angiogram of your heart to find out where the blockage is.
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But they did an angiogram of my brain and the results came back that yes, indeed, all three of those neurological incidences had been related and were causing problems for me.
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And the reason is because I have a rare cerebro meaning brain, vascular meaning blood progressive chronic disease called Moya Moya.
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It's rare and the three characteristics I know that you can probably guess where I'm heading strokes, many strokes and migraine.
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At least I had a name for what was going on and at least validation to say you know, I did know what I was talking about, I did know my body and know that there was something going on, right, and so I said, okay, what do we do about this?
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I'm 45 years old at this point.
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It's been 43 years of struggles Not every single day, mind you, please, please, make sure you understand that but 43 years of not knowing what's going on with my body.
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And now we have a name for it, hallelujah.
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But what do we do to treat it?
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And so the neurosurgeon that was doing all of my testing looked at me and he said well, we can do nothing and just wait until something more serious happens.
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And I said not an option.
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Something more serious happens.
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And I said not an option because we've been waiting all this time and I knew that there was something that could happen, that could be very catastrophic, because I know about strokes, thankfully, the one I had at age two, yes, it interfered with many things in my body, and still do.
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I've heard stories and and I know it's true that strokes can kill you or can make you so incapacitated that you're dependent on other people for the rest of your life.
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And I said no, we're not waiting.
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So what is the other option?
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Well, brain surgery.
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And I'll tell you, dorsey, that those two words together, that causes a lot of anxiety.
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Let's just be honest.
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So I said, ok, I'm processing this and I'm realizing that you know I guess this is where we're heading, and so I said, let's, let's go ahead and schedule it, let's go ahead and do it.
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So what they did is they took a blood vessel from right here on my right above my right ear that was thriving and was good blood flow, and moved it to the part of my brain that hadn't been getting blood flow my entire life because of what Moya Moya is.
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Moya Moya is where your blood vessels, which normally like this, just the straight, it's, got good blood flow, thriving, all those things Mine goes straight for a little bit and then it gets all kind of jumbled and crazy.
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And then it goes straight for a little bit and then it gets all kind of jumbled and crazy and then it goes straight again.
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But where the jumbly part was is the moyamoya and because of that, that's what caused the stroke and the many strokes and the migraines.
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But basically it had caused that part of my brain not to get oxygen and that's where the blood flow got stopped and that's what was causing all of the problems.
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And so moving that blood vessel to another part of my brain helps open up that area and start to get good blood flow, which we all need.
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I mean, we don't think about that because it's in our head and God's taken care of that for us.
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We don't have to think about it.
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But that's what was causing all of my issues, and so I had brain surgery seven and a half, almost eight years ago.
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I'm assuming it's because it's rare, but did you ever ask this new doctor?
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But did you ever ask this new doctor?
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Why did it take so long for all these other doctors to come up with a reason or an answer for your concerns?
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I did.
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I actually did, and part of the reason is because when Moi Moi was discovered, it was discovered in Asia, was discovered, it was discovered in Asia and it was primarily people who are of Asian descent.
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I'm a white girl, I'm not Asian descent.
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So right there, probably my doctors who did know about Moya Moya didn't put me in that box because I didn't fit in that box.
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And so the other reason is is it was discovered in 1969 in Asia.
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My stroke was in 1972, but it had not transferred over to the United States.
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That knowledge had not transferred over and while I had dealt with all of those things, those different types of neurological incidences, many of my neurologists didn't know about Moyamoya because it is rare and while it's probably talked about in medical school, they don't spend a lot of time.
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And so it took somebody like my current neurologist who said oh yeah, I know about that.
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I'm thinking that maybe that's what it is.
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Let's do the angiogram and confirm it or figure out what else it could be.
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So I think part of the reason, Dorsey, is because it is rare and not a lot of neurologists know about it.
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They probably have been introduced to it but they haven't studied it and become very familiar with it, and so I think that worked against me.
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But thankfully for my neurologist, Dr Anand, who I saw just last week just for a checkup, he said yep, I'm thinking that's what it is and let's do the testing, and thank goodness he did.
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How much have you improved over your life with the stroke that you had as a child?
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Well, improvement.
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I mean, if you look at me, you couldn't necessarily tell that and unfortunately there are people who have had strokes that you can most assuredly tell that they've had a stroke, because their face might be damaged from where it impacted the nerves there in their face.
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In their face, their arm might be up or they may have a very significant limp when they walk.
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I don't have those things.
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I can use my left hand.
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One of the biggest things that has continued to be a struggle for me is that the stroke really impacted the fine motor skills in my left hand.
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So when I was in middle school I went to physical therapy to help work on the deficits and the residual deficits of my stroke, and that was one of the things I had to do was I had to throw beanbags into a bucket, that kind of thing, but that's gross motor, and so one of the things that I can remember crying, crying when they made me do it is pick up pennies, because I can do it.
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It just takes forever, and so it's not.
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My fine motor skills are not necessarily going to just improve so much that they're going to be regular, it's just not.
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The damage is there.
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It has been improved, but it is not going to completely go away.
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My balance We've worked on my balance my entire life.
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We've worked on my coordination, which was part of why my parents really wanted me to play sports.
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When you play sports, you improve.
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You kind of want to lean.
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I kind of want to lean to the left, and so I had to figure out the different ways of playing basketball and softball, soccer, all of those things.
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They definitely improved my strength and my balance and coordination.
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But again, it's not something that's just going to go away.
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It's something that, unfortunately, is a lingering, residual deficit.
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I just I don't let it stop me.
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I mean, there's too many things that I want to do in life, want to do in life, and sometimes the balance part of it is really hard, but I want to do it and so it may not look really pretty, may take me longer, but I'm going to experience that because I don't want to miss out on opportunities or activities or time with my family, right.
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And I think and you know, know you talk about your parents and everything I think you know very similar.
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I can hear you know your parents being my parents as well, because you know my parents were the same way that your parents were.
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They were like, hey, we're not going to worry about him, you know, we won't give him away, we'll just allow him to go out and do whatever it is that he wants to do.
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I'm so glad to hear that because that is something that I feel was a make and break kind of thing for me.
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And I didn't have and you didn't, neither one of us being young people when these things occurred.
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We didn't get the choice because we couldn't communicate that we couldn't.
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So thankfully, our parents took care of that for us and they could have said oh sweet, melanie, I'm so sorry, we're going to take care of this for you, we're going to do this for you.
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They could have and said, no, that's going to be too hard and that will hurt your feelings, and so we don't want you to try that.
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They could have.
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But they said, no, we want you to try it, we want you to do everything.
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The other normal kids, normal what does that even mean?
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Right, dorsey?
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The non-disabled, non-neurologically challenged, whatever you want to call it, the regular kids.
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We want you to try those things.
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And there were times that I wasn't really happy that my parents were making me or forcing me to do those things, but I'm so glad they did.
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I'm so glad because my mindset of challenges won't stop me is started with my parents.
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Absolutely.
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So your story and you know what your message is is a message of overcoming Absolutely.
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How did you come about that and what made you write the book that you did?
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That's a great question.
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There were so many times throughout my younger years middle school, high school, college years, middle school, high school, college that I did things that were hard for me and challenged me.
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And then my friends would find out about my stroke and they would say, wow, like that is amazing that you're able to do those things.
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And I would tell them trust me, it's hard but I'm determined that what happened to me is not going to keep me from getting to do the things that I want to do.
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I don't want to miss any opportunities and so many times they would call me an overcomer and at first, when that started happening, I was like that feels like a really big word and I don't know that I fit in to that Because to me at that time, when I was younger, overcoming meant that you faced a challenge and you got past it and then you know like it never bothered you again.
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But that wasn't me, because my stroke and my neurological issues and the moya moya while it doesn't impact my everyday life, there have been periods where it's been very much that I have to deal with it.
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So it's not where I fought to overcome and then I never had to deal with it again.
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So in my mind, overcoming wasn't my story.
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But I had several people say it's the attitude that you have, it's the positive mentality of, yeah, these things happen, but I'm not going to let it stop me.
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That's what they said was an overcomer and I said, well, I'm so appreciative of you telling me that that's your definition of it, because I feel a little more comfortable with that word than what I thought it was.
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I feel a little more comfortable with that word than what I thought it was, and so about, I would say, about 11 years ago I went to a writer's I guess group and the speaker was talking about platform, and I'm sure you're familiar with that.
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And platform is what are you known for?
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When you, when you're a writer, what, what do people know that you write about?
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How do they think about you?
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And so I got, I went up to talk to her after her speech, when we had a few minutes of downtime to go to the restroom or whatever, and I said well, I write fiction and so I don't know how to have a platform because I'm talking about imaginary characters.
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Because she had said you know, if you want to write books about gardening, then you need to start sharing information like tips and tricks and things about gardening, and that's how people start to know who you are.
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And I said if I've got fictional characters, how does this work?
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And I said if I've got fictional characters, how does this work?
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And she said well, what are the themes that you seem to be drawn to in your fiction?
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And so I paused for a moment and I said I really like people that struggle, that say you know, I don't like this, but I'm going to keep fighting, I'm going to figure out how to get past this.
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And she said overcoming.
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And it was like whoa, that word keeps coming up right.
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She said how about if you start interviewing people who are overcomers and sharing their stories?
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So I went home and I thought about it and I was like, wow, yeah, I can do that, because I like those kind of people.
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I like those movies that are about those kind of people.
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I like hearing about real life people who are those people.
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So I started doing that and at the time, we didn't have the technology.
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Well, maybe some people did.
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I didn't have the technology to do a podcast, nor did I even really know about a podcast, because this was in 2013.
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So I started interviewing women who had overcome all these different types of challenges and specifically women who had the same kind of mindset like I don't like what's happened to me, but I'm not going to let it stop me kind of people.
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And I shared their written stories on my website and they're still there.
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And then I progressed into a podcast after going to a writer's conference, and so at this point, I've interviewed over 150 women who have faced all kinds of challenges, and the thread on every one of them very similar to your show is you know, what did you learn and how did you keep moving forward?
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And how do you have this mindset of I'm not going to let this stop me?
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That's what I wanted to share, and so I'm thrilled that I continue to get to do this.
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Like you, we get to talk to people who have faced some really terrible things and yet, like you and I, we're like all right.
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You know I don't like that, but it's not going to stop me.
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I'm going to keep living.
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I'm going to keep doing everything that I feel God has called me to.
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I'm going to hopefully impact lives, all those things, and so I'm just thrilled that you and I get to meet today and talk about this, because I think there are a lot of people out there and you probably have encountered some yourself that are facing a challenge of some kind, and they just live in that.
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Woe is me.
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Life is terrible.
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What am I going to do now?
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I just everything that I wanted to do has been taken away, and they need hope, like what you and I are sharing and they need examples of how do you face some kind of challenge and what do you do to get past it.
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What do you do to learn from it, what do you do when the dreams that you had now are different because of the challenge that you faced?
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How do you do that?
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And I love hearing that from the people that I have been honored truly honored to interview, because everybody's story is a little bit different and it's so interesting to hear the different things that they've learned.
00:25:58.538 --> 00:26:06.690
What is the name of your podcast and can anybody go and listen to it anywhere, or is it on a specific platform.
00:26:07.570 --> 00:26:11.719
Yes, so my podcast is called Challenges Won't Stop Me.
00:26:11.719 --> 00:26:15.268
You can get it on any of the podcast apps.
00:26:15.268 --> 00:26:21.518
I also have my YouTube channel, which is Melanie Brown, m-e-l-o-n-y.
00:26:21.518 --> 00:26:24.740
Brown like the color and my website.
00:26:24.740 --> 00:26:25.861
You can get Brown like the color and my website.
00:26:25.861 --> 00:26:28.182
You can listen to the podcast episodes there.
00:26:28.182 --> 00:26:35.448
And again, it's MelanieBrowncom, m-e-l-o-n-y-b-r-o-w-ncom.
00:26:35.448 --> 00:26:41.751
So all of the written stories and all of the podcast episodes are there on my website.
00:27:04.595 --> 00:27:05.517
Okay, as far as your books go.
00:27:05.537 --> 00:27:06.820
You said that they're more of a character type.
00:27:06.820 --> 00:27:08.124
You know book more of a character type written book.
00:27:08.124 --> 00:27:08.423
Who is that to?
00:27:08.423 --> 00:27:09.125
And is it for kids, for adults?
00:27:09.125 --> 00:27:09.626
And what is that?
00:27:09.626 --> 00:27:10.529
What are those stories based on?
00:27:10.529 --> 00:27:12.615
Well, actually, the fictional stories is where I started, about 11 years ago.
00:27:12.815 --> 00:27:33.502
But in the process of interviewing these women, of having my own challenges and navigating those, what all I've learned from my own experiences, what I've learned from the overcomers, I wrote a nonfiction book and it is also called Challenges Won't Stop Me.
00:27:33.502 --> 00:27:43.837
It is the first book in a two book interactive survival guide for overcoming and thriving.
00:27:43.837 --> 00:27:47.363
So let me grab these.
00:27:47.363 --> 00:27:50.775
So the first one is challenges won't stop me.
00:27:51.455 --> 00:28:09.184
I take the readers on an eight mile journey and at each mile marker, instead of chapter, I introduce the reader to essential pieces of gear, and what I mean by that is things that we need as we are journeying through life.
00:28:09.184 --> 00:28:34.382
Yes, these things are very important to have and to use when we're going through a challenge, but, in all honesty, having them ahead of time and using them ahead of time is going to prepare you, is going to equip and empower you to fight, to overcome, and so, for example, we have a map.
00:28:34.382 --> 00:28:52.199
Well, if you're going on a hiking journey in the woods, it's helpful to have a map, and the map in my book is related to the Word of God and we need to be consulting that map and studying that map because it guides us.
00:28:52.199 --> 00:28:55.830
Now does it say, melanie, you need to do X, y and Z?
00:28:55.830 --> 00:28:57.172
No, it doesn't.
00:28:57.692 --> 00:29:12.311
But if we read those stories with the mindset of how did God guide this biblical character through their difficult times, could I do that?
00:29:12.311 --> 00:29:14.536
Yeah, I could.
00:29:14.536 --> 00:29:22.234
I could do those things, and so it helps guide us as we are fighting to overcome.
00:29:22.234 --> 00:29:26.260
Another example would be binoculars.
00:29:26.260 --> 00:29:33.682
Dorsey, have you had other challenges in your life besides the ones that happened early on in your life?
00:29:34.130 --> 00:29:37.160
Sure, of course, I've had challenges all my life.
00:29:38.490 --> 00:29:39.511
Absolutely right.
00:29:39.511 --> 00:29:53.106
Okay, have you ever noticed that we all myself included, and I'm assuming you too, because you're human and this is just a human thing to do is we get so focused on our challenge?
00:29:53.106 --> 00:29:55.375
We're looking at it, we're going what do I do?
00:29:55.375 --> 00:29:56.596
How do I get past this?
00:29:56.596 --> 00:29:57.839
I don't know.
00:29:57.839 --> 00:29:59.103
I don't know what I'm supposed to do.
00:29:59.349 --> 00:30:22.655
All these things we get, we're building up our own anxiety because we're focused on that, right, but if we take out our binoculars which is something that you would want to have as you're going on a journey in the woods and we look up to God and we praise and worship Him, it changes our perspective.
00:30:22.655 --> 00:30:27.051
We're no longer laser focused on the challenges right in front of us.
00:30:27.051 --> 00:30:28.496
We are looking at God.
00:30:28.496 --> 00:30:31.343
Does that mean the challenge is going to go away?
00:30:31.343 --> 00:30:33.756
No, not necessarily.
00:30:33.756 --> 00:30:34.518
I mean it could.
00:30:34.518 --> 00:30:38.068
It could Hadn't happened to me, I don't know.
00:30:38.068 --> 00:30:38.771
Has it happened to you?
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