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Oct. 17, 2021

Call-in Show: Relationship Goals

Call-in Show: Relationship Goals

Welcome to The Dr. Erin Podcast. This is a top spiritual psychology coach podcast to inspire and teach you how to transform your trauma, birth your soul’s purpose, and manifest your dreams. Learn the best coaching tips, spiritual advice, trauma healing, and metaphysical recovery secrets. I’m here to help you monetize your spiritual gifts and love your life. I want you to know that I’ve been exactly where you are and I believe in you. Together, we are awakening the world.
Hi, I'm Dr. Erin, doctor of divinity and the creator of the E4 Trauma Method®, world-renowned spiritual leader, master spiritual psychology coach, international best-selling author, and the 2020 Walden Wisdom award winner next to Oprah. Forbes nominated her as “11 Of The Most Inspirational Female Entrepreneurs To Watch On Instagram.”
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Learn the universal law of attraction, metaphysics, manifestation, spiritual psychology, past-life regressions, and spiritual awakening. This top podcast is created to provide support, education, self-development, healing, motivation, and inspiration. Spiritual trauma recovery is the key. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. www.soulciete.com

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Dr. Erin

Welcome to The Dr. Erin Podcast. This is a top spiritual psychology coach podcast to inspire and teach you how to transform your trauma, birth your soul’s purpose, and manifest your dreams. Learn the best coaching tips, spiritual advice, trauma healing, and metaphysical recovery secrets. I’m here to help you monetize your spiritual gifts and love your life.  I want you to know that I’ve been exactly where you are and I believe in you. Together, we are awakening the world.  

Hi, I'm Dr. Erin, doctor of divinity and the creator of the E4 Trauma Method®, world-renowned spiritual leader, master spiritual psychology coach, international best-selling author, and the 2020 Walden Wisdom award winner next to Oprah. 

Dr. Erin is committed to bridging spirituality, science, and psychology. She is forging ‘New Thought Wisdom’ in the study of Spiritual Psychology; the study of how everything is created from Source at a soul level.

Forbes nominated her as “11 Of The Most Inspirational Female Entrepreneurs To Watch On Instagram.” 

Join Soulciété, and get certified as a Spiritual Warrior, Spiritual Entrepreneur, or get Accredited Certified as a Spiritual Psychology Coach & E4 Trauma Method®, Spiritual Psychology Master Practitioner, Master Teacher, or Doctor of Divinity.


Learn the universal law of attraction, metaphysics, manifestation, spiritual psychology, past-life regressions,  and spiritual awakening. This top podcast is created to provide support, education, self-development, healing, motivation, and inspiration. Spiritual trauma recovery is the key. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Transcript

(00:01):

This is first live from Los Angeles. Welcome to the Dr. Aaron show. We're all about manifestation transformation and breakthroughs. It's time to claim your birthright of prosperity, vitality and love. So grab your tea coffee, because together we're awakening the world. May you live your truth?

(00:19):

Live from Los Angeles. We come together each day to know the truth, live on spiritual principle and align with universal law. We truly know that when somebody awakens a gift and message, bring to the world and together we're awakening the world. So this is Dr. Aaron, Dr. Divinity, teaching training, developing spiritual entrepreneurs and spiritual leaders. We train and develop spiritual coaches. We turn develop spiritual practitioners, ministers, and yes, doctors of divinity. So let's do this thing today. We're actually going to be answering questions. This is very fun. We're actually gonna be doing a call and show. And right now we don't have the capability to actually have people call in, but we've been taking, uh, different questions from people, everyone from DMing to call in. We also have like a Google number where people will text in and call in as well. So it's super exciting.

(01:08):

It's a new series that we're be doing and we'll see how, how it's received and kind of play around with it and have a really good time. So I'm super excited because everything I'm going to be responding two ways with these questions. One is from a universal law perspective, metaphysics of mine perspective, and of course, trauma trauma perspective, all truth perspective. Okay. The other way I'm gonna be answering the questions is actually from a human perspective, from my own personal opinion, with my own stories and things going into it as well. Okay. So if you're somebody that would like to have a question answered, we will be doing anonymously. So you can send in your questions and you can put your name in. We won't, we won't put your name regardless. Okay. Because we want to have a safe place for people to really inquire into conscious conversations.

(01:57):

And, you know, unfortunately, unfortunately a lot of the questions we get are around relationships and we recognize that all of life is a relationship, but of course, you know, there's different dynamics of life. We teach this four areas of life, everything from relationships and love, career and money and health and vitality and creative expression. We recognize that all of life is a relationship, but a lot of the questions we get are around relationships. And I think the reason why we get this is because the core kind of foundational work of spirituality and awakening is, is no longer handing your power over to anything in this world. And a lot of us care a lot about relationships and therefore our codependency and our kind of, uh, non mastery in spirituality shines a lot through in our relationships. In fact, we found about nine outta 10. People that come into our community are dealing with some level of codependency and that goes across for all stats.

(02:56):

And so a lot of these questions, all of us can relate to because if you're a human being, you probably are dealing with some level of codependency. So today we're gonna be breaking on down some different, uh, questions regarding relationships in particular. So it doesn't matter if you're dealing, whether you are single, whether you're dating, whether you are married, the, the universal laws, the trauma work, everything, the subconscious work, everything applies to everyone. And we know from stats in, in, uh, different psychology things that just because somebody's married or not, does not necessarily mean that they are more happy or less happy. We also recognize the power of relationship, uh, through the Harvard study. That was, um, a very long study that basically showed that true. Happiness does break down to deep relationships. So again, I completely believe in love and connection. And I also recognize the complete delusion that a lot of people have that they think that a relationship is going to complete them until we are complete ourselves.

(04:03):

We'll never fully be complete in any relationship. So let's break this on down. So the very first question is here it is. Let's see. Dear Dr. Aaron, I'm writing for you, your input. I'm in a marriage where my husband, isn't interested in doing his inner trauma work. He doesn't seem to care and I don't know how to get him to change. What should I do? Should I just accept him or demand him to do his work? Hmm, great, great story. Uh, great question. So I'll never forget. In 1999, I went to landmark forum. I'm sure, probably a lot of you guys went to landmark forum. It was one of the, you know, so many programs I went through over, you know, 25 years of being developed in spiritual work. And I remember in 1999, I went through landmark form. And what happened is when I came out of landmark forum, what they, they teach you lost these distinctions.

(04:56):

And one of the distinctions that I learned was what was called a racket, meaning that people have things that they do in life, thinking that they're gonna get what they want at a life. For example, a racket might be that, um, somebody needs basically it's where you're making someone wrong. So a racket would be, for example, someone who's married that is wanting their husband to change and wanting them to do their inner work basically. So they don't have to actually do their own inner work <laugh> because it's like a decoy, right? So the point is, is that when I came at a landmark forum, what happened was I used all of the distinctions in my quote unquote transformational work to actually just have, um, all the distinctions. I need to point my finger at other people of what they were doing in life. And we'll find this a lot in our spiritual development.

(05:53):

There's kind of a place where as spirituality will be used for actually more divisiveness, which is the complete misuse of it, the, the use of spiritual awakening and becoming a spiritual leader and doing your own inner work and your own trauma work and your own awakening is to actually really point the finger and take full responsibility for our own lives. And that is the unification of it for us to become responsible and become the first cause of our life. And to truly be, be somebody who's a change that we wanna see in the world when we point the finger and hope that somebody else does their inner work, it's completely a misuse of the energy. In fact, it actually hurts it because what we resist persists. So this person that's writing in or wrote him, basically, if you're wanting your husband to change for him to do his inner work for him to do his trauma work for him to do his awakening work, it's actually in the resistance of what is that actually will most likely turn him off to doing his inner work.

(06:53):

So you wanna be super cautious around us. In fact, we all have had those friends that begin to awaken and begin to think they're better than because they're doing their spiritual work. So for me, I learned the hard way I got outta landmark. I started pointing the finger at everybody else and sure enough, the relationship I was in, um, I found everything wrong with him and not really using it to do my own transformational, work on myself and use it as spiritual distinctions and transformational distinctions to embody we teach embodiment. Okay. So this is from a universal law perspective, is that what resist persists? And that also universal law is perfect. We have perfect God, perfect man. Perfect being right. So perfect divine, perfect woman, perfect bean mean that we only know perfection and we have to recognize that our partners or our friends or whomever it is that has not done their inner work.

(07:48):

We have to recognize that they learn it differently than us. In fact, if people want them to change, they're actually less likely to change. So that's the spiritual and metaphysical truth of that. So my suggestion for you, this woman that, uh, wrote in is for you to focus on yourself, to really hold faith and faith is where we know and hold pure potential. So the practice would be for you to do your own inner work for you to focus on your own trauma, work for you, to focus on all that, not make him wrong and also hold faith, knowing that he's going to, as you shift, he automatically is going to shift. In fact, we don't need to do have anyone do work around us when we truly do our work, then we actually impact and meta physically change every single person around us. Okay.

(08:38):

So that's from a truth perspective. Now me as a human being side girl, I understand, I know what it's like to be around. Not only just in a relationship, but have, you know, a parent or a friend or somebody that is not doing their inner work and you want to slap them, you know what I mean? You're like, oh, why? You know? And, um, and it is, we have to know that this is our guru, that, that these people are our, that is the universe testing us to know if we are actually practicing what we preach. So anytime I start pointing the finger, I recognize I have three fingers pointing back at myself and it's time for me to grow up and be an embodiment and be a master of the work that we teach. So I am holding you in my heart. And I know that this is a tough one, not always easy, but I know that you would not be going through this.

(09:30):

If you were not ready to master totally unconditionally loving your husband and holding him in your heart as a perfection and the divine that he is, and always coming back to the breath and always coming back to your spiritual practice. Okay. All right. I love that question. Such a good question. I think that we all deal with that, especially when we're going through our spiritual awakening, for sure. Okay. Next question is, hi, Dr. Aaron, first of all, I want to thank you for all you are doing. You have helped me in so much to become more confident and believe in myself on my way O on my awakening journey. At the moment I listen to your podcast daily and also reading your 40 days awake new book. It helped me so much to grow. Okay? So, but I've struggled lately in the last days, maybe, you know, where I should start to change.

(10:22):

I'm in a really healthy and loving relationship for one year now, but my ex-boyfriend, which whom I had a really dysfunctional relationship is a very good friend of my current boyfriend. And then last months we all hung out more, which is more difficult for me than I thought. I realized that I will always have love for him. But as you also said, with your past dysfunctional relationship, I have my boundaries. What I also realized is that I always felt lower than him. He gave and still gives me the feeling that he is better. I have the feeling, I seek his validation, which I don't want. He was never good for me. And I will never be, I am so grateful for my current relationship, but I don't think I fully recovered from my past one. I also see all that that happened between us as the right path, because now I have the relationship I always wish for.

(11:12):

And that he showed me what I don't want in a relationship and made me stronger and seeking something real. So I'm grateful for that. I don't know what to do to change these bond or whatever that is. Should I do trauma work for that question, mark? Maybe you can help me. Okay. So first of all, I just wanna say, thank you so much for sending this in. So it sounds like this is the deal. She had a relationship, it was dysfunctional. She's in a new relationship that seems to be going well. I don't know how long they've been in a relationship, but now all of a sudden her current boyfriend is friends with her ex-boyfriend and they've been hanging out more and more. And she is obviously getting a little triggered and has stuff there realizing that it's not complete for her. So, so from a metaphysical standpoint and a universal loss standpoint, first of all, we know that anywhere in life where we're getting triggered, it usually comes down to one of two things.

(12:03):

Okay? Number one is there's still trauma there that needs to be complete. It needs to be neutralized and, or number two, it's just not your truth. Like, it's just not your truth to hang out with your ex-boyfriend. Okay. So we have to realize. And so my suggestion would be to do both of those things, okay. This is from a universal law and metaphysical standpoint. So number one is the truth is that you said, I always felt lower than him. He gave and still gives me the feeling that he is better. So the truth is no one can give you a feeling, the moment that you put a meaning on it, you instantaneously have a feeling, no one can give you a feeling, okay, it's impossible. You can have an intuitive feeling of what you are repelled or, you know, called to with somebody, but how you feel is from your feeling and your truth or not being in truth for yourself.

(13:00):

Okay? So we wanna make sure that you empower yourself this process and stop giving him the power. Okay. The reason why he's triggering you is because there's a lie. There there's a lie that he can make you feel something. Okay? And so whether you are, you know, obviously you're in this relationship now that's somewhat healthy, but my, obviously this is showing you and guiding you that there's still work to do. So my suggestion would be to go in and do more, um, trauma work. I don't know if you've done any trauma work, but definitely going in and doing the trauma work. This ex-boyfriend is, has nothing to do with him. It has everything to do with you. And we recognize whatever happens in relationship. It's just a reflection and projection of what's happening within with our relationship, with our higher self. He is the mirror for you to see where you have not completed your own self love, where you are looking, um, out in the world to be able to trust.

(13:59):

When you can only trust yourself, you become unstoppable untouchable unshakeable upon your relationship with divine, your relationship with your higher self. And so this is these circumstance of your life showing you where you're not, where you have not done all your work. Okay. That's the first one. The second one remember is where you're not living your truth. So you have to ask yourself, you know, is it your truth? Is it your truth to hang out with your ex-boyfriend? And obviously if you're not complete with all the emotions around it, then, you know, it would be maybe wise to put some healthy boundaries there. And probably for a lot of people be like, well, I don't want anyone to know that I actually am still triggered. So therefore I can't really say anything. I gotta be cool and like, make sure that I'm, you know, not being, you know, the effect or something like that.

(14:49):

But the truth is that it's your life. And the relationship that you're in now is a sacred space for you. And my concern is that if you don't deal with it in a healthy manner, you might deal with it in a reactive manner. So you wanna make sure that you're handling this now, before it gets worse, because if you're hanging out with your ex or your boyfriend and you haven't dealt with it, then sure enough, something's probably most likely gonna come along to where you're reacting and then you're gonna have to deal with, you know, the, the effects of after, you know, a reactive situation. So that's from a truthful universal law, subconscious, you know, side of it from a human side, I'm gonna call you out a little bit. Okay. First of all, do you still have feelings for your ex because, you know, if you're in a healthy relationship and you're really into this, you know, new boyfriend that you have, um, you know, I would, I would kind of question as your girlfriend, you know, what's still there for you with your ex, because that's probably what if your boyfriend knew, uh, that you're having a reaction to an ex-boyfriend.

(16:00):

I doubt he's gonna be very happy about that. You know, he's gonna know there's because you, if you didn't care, you wouldn't have reactions, right? If you didn't care about somebody, it's the people that we care the most about that we get the most reactive about. Right? So my question for you as a girlfriend, as a, as a human side of myself, is to get real, what's really going on for you. Is it not complete because you, you said you still you'll always have love for him. So, you know, what's really going on there. And are you being authentic with being with this new boyfriend or is it just healthy and safe for you? Right. And so I would get a little real with myself of what's really going on and ask myself, where am I settling? Where am I trying to stay safe, versus where am I fully being courageously courageous?

(16:48):

Am I love in this lifetime? And you deserve that regardless of whether you stand the relationship you're in or not. I'm definitely not saying to go back to your ex-boyfriend by any means, I'm just saying, this is the opportunity to get real with yourself, to do your inner work and to totally get real. So in the meanwhile, my suggestion would be number one to, to place peace as the number one, without peace, right? We, our vibration and our frequency informs our subconscious mind and whatever we're informing our subconscious mind with is actually informing universal law and bringing it more and more into our life. So if we are getting reactive, if we're getting upset, if we're getting, you know, entangled, if we're, if we're getting to that place, we're below peace, right? We're below par. We are getting into places where we're energizing negativity, if you will.

(17:42):

So if we, our goal is to get into ecstasy. Our goal is to get into the highest flow and frequency we can. So if you're in, uh, in situations where you are getting into a reactive state, that if you are a spiritual practitioner, if you're living on spiritual principle, if you understand universal law and your subconscious mind, the subjective mind, which is one with universal law, you will understand the most important thing is to minimum stand peace in the day. That means doing breathing exercises. That means going into meditation. That means going to spiritual mind treatment and not putting yourself in situations where you're going to become I turbulate and upset and reactive. Okay. So number one, that has to happen. Number two is yes. Get your little tushy into doing trauma work and do all that work, right? And then number three is being able to birth your truth and decide, you know, what are healthy boundaries for you around this?

(18:37):

And are you able to powerfully communicate it with your current boyfriend and to your ex-boyfriend and only you get to decide what your truth is and for you to honor that truth. Okay. So I think that answer that, and I think for all of us, the point is that we all have Xes and hopefully we've completed those cycles. Hopefully we complete those cycles before we get into our next relationship. Hopefully we're doing our inner trauma works. We're not be bringing our baggage into the next relationship. It really is what should be almost like a, you know, something that we agree upon. Right. For sure. Or ask ourselves before we get into the next relat shift. Okay. So great. Okay. So let's see. Next question. Let's see. Hi there. I'm reaching out to try and figure out what I should do. Currently. I live with my boyfriend who gets super mad at times 80% of the time we get along and everything is okay, but then we get into these huge arguments.

(19:32):

Last week, he screamed at me until 3:00 AM. I ended up not sleeping all night and impacted my entire week at work. I try to break up, but then we make up and the entire cycle begins again. Oh boy, girl, I know this one. So well, it's called the Merry go round. It's actually a very, um, well known part of dysfunction. It's called the Merry go round. Right? So what happened is, and I remember years ago, being in this, um, I would be, I was in a relationship where we, it was like this honeymoon stage. It would be literally like heroin going in my arms. It was so blissful. It was everything. It was magical. He would be like, I love you. You're the love my life. We'd be talking about the future. Talking about getting married. It was magical. It was like the most in love of my life.

(20:20):

Ever. Every ounce of my beingness was, was put into this relationship and then something would happen. We'd get in this huge argument and we'd, you know, break up and we'd have a big fight. And then maybe even we'd break up for a while or he'd leave or something would happen and then we'd miss each other and then we'd make up again. He'd come back with, you know, tattoos of me on his neck, you know, um, he'd come with flowers and rings and I love you so much. You're, you know, the love of my life. I'm so sorry. And, and he'd come back in and, and, you know, woo me back in. I'd get back in and then it'd all happen again. This whole thing called the Merry go round. So we have to take a look at this cycle. And as a saying, goes in codependency and stuff that dysfunctional relationships or addiction, cuz that's what it really is, ends in three ways, jail, death, or insanity. Okay. And it may not be at that extreme right now, but let me tell you that dysfunction compounds, and there's a reason why I'm gonna tell you why. Okay.

(21:33):

When he was screaming at you until 3:00 AM, there were traumas that happened in that moment for you probably. Okay. What happens is trauma is not what happens to us. Trauma is what happens within us. And what happens is trauma is a high, high state of emotion because we are frequency and vibrational being. And when we're in that high, high state, we're informing our subconscious mind. And in that moment, in that high, high state of moment, when he's screaming at you, right, there's something that you say to yourself, right? There's, it's called commands. And I'm not gonna say what your commands are, but I'm gonna use an example. Okay? So for me, when I was in that dysfunctional relationship, we'd get in these horrific fights. You know, we'd be screaming at each other and I would decide in the middle of that trauma. I'll never love again, I can't trust something's wrong with me.

(22:26):

I'm not enough. I don't wanna live. Right. All those commands. And those play out in the subconscious mind over and over again. And in 12 SEP or in Coda or in, um, alcoholics anonymous, cause it's all dysfunctions all considered its dysfunction. They call it quote, quote an allergy and in, and what it really is, is it's not an allergy. What it is, it's a trauma that gets triggered. So what happens is, as you are in this relationship that say is 80% good. And then 20% awful and probably 5% horrific let's face the fact, okay. Screaming at somebody till 3:00 AM is completely dysfunctional. And it's dangerous. It's dangerous from a subconscious mind perspective because what happens is all of that goes into your subconscious mind. And then what happens is you get back together, you have a honeymoon stage. You, you know, you start building your life again together, whatever.

(23:24):

And then another incident happens. Another argument or something happens and the fights get worse because the triggers get more triggered easily. And so over time, because I know it very well. I was in codependent. I was codependent for majority of my life and it would, it was bad early on and it got worse and then it got worse. And then it got worse until I had to literally surrender and say, I need help. And I need to, you know, figure this out because we don't believe in identity. You are not a codependent. You are a divine, spiritual being. You are here as a creator and you can create yourself having an experience of being codependent or dysfunctional. But the truth is the truth of who you are, is not that the truth of who you are is pure potential and that you can heal from this.

(24:11):

Okay? So when I'm working with somebody who is dealing with codependency or dysfunctional relationship, where they have ups and downs, even if it's not screaming till three o'clock in the morning where they're getting triggered, they're getting into those, those past triggers. Those past traumas are being, it's like having a little scab and every time it starts healing, the scab gets picked off. Again, it starts bleeding again. Okay. So the point is, is that you cannot grow. You cannot well see people that have their ups and downs their rollercoaster, and they're unable to really have great growth in their personal professional life. They're unable to maintain their, their relationships with their family and friends. They're unable to maintain their jobs or careers or they barely do, but it doesn't thrive at all. They're unable to have their health starts de diminishing because of the dysfunction. So the issue is dysfunction is dangerous.

(25:07):

And if somebody's screaming at you guys are screaming till three o'clock in the morning, it's super dangerous for the psyche. So again, if I'm working with somebody and they're in dysfunctional relationship, it goes like a look, I will give you 30 days for you to be able to take some distinctions and take some meditation and do your own inner work. But at the end of 30 days, if you are still getting triggered and really upset, then we have to have an agreement. We either stop working together or you need to leave that environment. Okay? Because there's no point they're wasting their money. I'm wasting my time. If they're in a dysfunctional relationship, it's not going to get better until they are able to stand peace. And whether they can stay in peace in that relationship or whether they need to leave that environment. That depends on them.

(25:52):

I would never make that decision for anybody. But what I know for sure is someone that's working with somebody who's in a dysfunctional relationship. There's no point there's only, that's why they have intervention. That's why they have re rehab places. You go and stand because some people can't break the cycle. It is as strong as cocaine and heroin. The love, the love, um, talk all the love chemicals in the body are as strong as cocaine. It is very strong. Believe me. I remember trying to break up and stay broken up. And the withdrawals from the relationship were horrific. I would, you know, you, you forget the, the brain forgets all the bad things and only remembers the amazing times. And it wants that heroin again, and it's gonna crave it and it's gonna find every way to justify to get that heroin again. Okay. So this is whoever wrote this, you know, saying that you're currently in a boyfriend with a boyfriend that it's good, 80% of the time.

(26:52):

And then it gets horrific like screaming at show until 3:00 AM. This is dangerous. Okay. This is called the Merry merry-go-round. And this ends in three ways. I'm gonna say it again. Someone calling the police, which usually means, you know, jail or people having criminal records or people, you know, it's not good or death. Yes. Domestic violence is real. Okay. And number three is insanity. Or maybe could say mentally ill, okay, we're talking about PTSD. We're talking about depression. We're talking about people not doing well. Codependency and dysfunctional relationships, I would say is the majority of things that ruin lives. So it's up to you. You can do whatever you choose to do with your life. But I'm gonna tell you from a doctor divinity standpoint, from a universal law standpoint, from a subconscious mind perspective, you are in a dangerous situation right now. If we all knew the power of our subconscious mind and we treated it with totally sacred being so cautious of what we put into our subconscious mind, we would, our lives would get so much better.

(28:07):

So please take the time to go to a co-dependent meeting. We also have recovery meetings now that we're gonna be rolling out that are seven days a week free to the public within new thought global and society. The practitioners hold them. And they're amazing. They're all based in metaphysics and truth and everything. So, um, I will put that in my link, um, in Instagram at Dr. aaron.tv, D R E R I n.tv. And you can check out someone of those recovery calls, please do yourself the favor, get the help, get the support, get the community that you need. It is very, very important. Okay. Where are we on time? Um, I wanna make sure not, we're not going too long on this. Okay. We're gonna do one more question and then we're gonna bounce out of here. Okay. Next question is, Hey, Dr. E I recently got into a new relationship.

(28:55):

He is wonderful, but I don't know if he wants to commit or not. We talk about marriage and commitment, but it's always super vague. How do you know without asking if they plan on wanting marriage? Oh boy. Um, I remember years ago, uh, a male friend of mine said, you know, the problem with most women and this is a total, um, uh, not the truth. It's a very, uh, vague what's, what's the word I'm looking for? It's a, um, okay. Well he said most women listen to what a man says instead of what he does. They don't just witness what he does. They buy into the fantasy of what he tells him instead of the truth of who he's being. Okay. So my invitation for you is to take a look at his actions. Is he showing up consistently? Does he do what he says?

(29:50):

Is he, you know, saying that he's committed to, or not, as far as wherever it may be, is he committed to, you know, just seeing you consistently throughout the week, is he telling you that he's not seen anyone else? Is he, you know, where is he at right now? What are his actions that he is doing versus is he talking about the concept of marriage and talking about future and talking about things as, you know, having you play into a fantasy ask kind of where it could potentially go versus the reality of where it is. And so my question for you, as far as, you know, the universe will just respond to, to your beliefs, right? We have to look at you and not him. Okay. First and foremost, what is the belief that you have most people that would ask this question generally would have the belief that they're not worthy of being married.

(30:46):

The fact that you're even asking the question begs for the question of what do you believe you're worthy of? You know, if you would, if, if you in your soul and your heart would even think that somebody is not having that intention, then let me ask you this. Why would you even be with them? Because if you, we all have intuition, we all have this inside of us already. We know what someone's intentions are from a, from an intuitive perspective. We know when someone's showing up committed or not committed at whatever level the relationship is at, we know when somebody's being their word, we know we can feel it in our soul, in our heart. And so my question again for you is why, if you are questioning this, it means that you're questioning it as a whole. So why would you be with somebody that you're questioning?

(31:44):

Because that just reflects upon you of your own belief of your self belief in yourself and your worthiness, a beam with somebody that truly sees you as the divine queen that you are, if you are that right, no one, no one puts a crown on our head. We put our own crown on our own head. We decide our own. Self-worth no one can give us our self-worth. Our self-worth is given by our higher self, from our divine nature. And so, again, this isn't about him and we can take a look at how he's being in his actions versus his words, versus whatever as he fullness integrity. But none of that matters because what matters is the point of you even asking this question? So my invitation for you is to no longer look to the world for commitment, no longer look to the world, to have validation, no longer look to the world for any of that.

(32:41):

It is an inside job. And when we truly get in source and in prayer and in the oneness and the unity of merging and the divine marriage within between our higher self and our lower self, that is the only marriage that is, that has to be the first marriage before we're able to truly have a union in the human realm. And on that note, I just have to say a couple things in that I absolutely believe in marriage. I absolutely believe in love. I absolutely believe in, in all of that, but I also know the facts that, you know, we have over 50% divorce rate. And so, and the people that are married, you know, who knows, it's less than half of those people are happy. There's stats. Some stats say that, you know, less than 20% of people are happy in marriage. And there's other stats that will say that people that are married that are older are very happy.

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Okay. There's stats from, for the example from Berkeley, um, it states that, um, Paul Dolan did an actual study where he said that women actually are less happy in marriage. Men are more happy in marriage than women. And he has a book hap happily ever after escaping the myth of the perfect life. And the point is, this is that I'm not here to, to say you shouldn't get married as a woman by any means, but I'm here to say that a lot of women are very delusional about marriage, completing them. We watch one too many Disney movies, and we have expectations that are not reality. And so the point is, is I want each and every one of us to be fulfilled in all of our relationships. And if we, you know, create ourselves to be the mentally equivalent, to be somebody that is able to have a best friend and, and have a partner beautiful.

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And if not, there are so many deep relationships we can have with our friends, their family, with our community. And, and it does not mean that someone's better or worse if they're married or not married, we need to really truly get over that as a culture. Okay. So finishing up and following up with this last question, you know, can you tell somebody's wanting marriage or not? I would say it's not the question to ask the question to ask is what is it gonna take for you to fully commit and marry yourself in the union, within yourself for you to fully know the truth that you are love, that you are the ever flowing abundance of love. And then until you get that, you know, I would probably say you probably shouldn't get married. I mean, honestly, from a, from a girlfriend perspective, there's nothing worse than seeing a girlfriend get married.

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That doesn't, hasn't found herself, honestly, it's painful to watch. I'm not gonna lie. And then seeing two people get married that truly love themselves and are able to fully be in that marriage is one of the most beautiful thing. Okay. So on this note, I'm so excited to do this first call in Q and a show. It's so much fun, please, if you would like some deep dive into anything around relationships and love around becoming a spiritual entrepreneur, um, also around career and money and health and vitality or creative expression, finding your purpose in calling anything, we could talk about anything we could talk about. Um, I don't know, whatever it is that you wanna talk about. You can DM meet on social media. You can also, um, go to our website. There's a number there also, you can call it in, you can also text it to that number.

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Um, and you can also, you know, just put it in the chat here. Um, so have a beautiful day. You guys, and may you live your truth if you're somebody who's wanting to get developed or do your trauma work, um, you can come check us out at new, do global.com. We have lots of practitioners that do E four trauma method. And, um, also you can come in and get trained as a master spiritual psychology coach. You can also get trained as a spiritual practitioner, a minister of universal law and new thought ancient wisdom. And you can come into the doctor of divinity program. So we'd love to have you have a beautiful day. You guys, and may you live your truth. Thank you for tuning into the doctor,

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