Ep 19: F**k Unstoppable!

Hello this is Sean and welcome to fuck your opinion a movie review podcast before we get started please make sure to like follow subscribe, write a review of this podcast wherever you are listening right now and please be sure to follow us on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. All those are linked in the description. Enjoy the episode. Hello and welcome to fuck your opinion, a movie review podcast where my co host and I Jani Hachi. I'm just walking right through you just like this train blew through everything in its path. So my co host Jani and I. CO is Jani and I wasn't smart right off picking movies. One of us will pick a movie we love that we know that other will hate and vice versa, because we absolutely hate each other Yani I don't know if you know that already. Do we hate each other? I think we just hate we hate life living in general and we want to trade off putting other people in misery and also subjecting ourselves to misery and put words in my mouth. I don't hate life. I hate myself. I don't hate life. I also think the average person is a sadomasochists I think everyone has a little bit of sadomasochism. They like to watch others suffer and they like to suffer too. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Like I it's, it's walking that that middle ground, I do this just to get you to suffer. That's my main thing because I hate you so much. You know, to quote one of the greatest songwriters of our generation, it's like hopping paid. I love it, the more I suffer. I believe that is a young fellow by the name of Marshall Mathers. So this week, we watched a little movie I chose called unstoppable, directed by Tony Scott. Yeah, it not not to use too many titular pawns here, but Shawn, it does seem like you selecting something like this was unstoppable. How Why do you why why do you like this movie? What How? Wow. Wow. So I have an interesting history with this movie. I had originally washed it back in a what? Like 2008 2009. There was that time out in 2010. Folks, Well, okay, then 2009 or early 2010 because I went to a test grading for it a couple months before it came out. I really dug it really enjoyed it. But it was kind of before I was really getting into film. So it kind of put on the backburner. hadn't seen it for 10 years. And then Quentin Tarantino went on another podcast and was just gushing about it. And I was like, You know what, let me check this out. Again. I forgot about this movie, I rewatch it again, and I was just like, holy shit. This holds up this is so good. This is amazing. You know Kwik Trip does have some pretty controversial opinions and that's one of them. You know, sometimes I I'll I'll agree with Kwik Trip. Sometimes I will I will disagree vehemently with him and this is a this is one of those disagreements Kwik Trip you have you have let me down substantially this I cannot I cannot gush less if if gushing is what we're talking about. I'd say I'm I'm a sewer that's been backed up for 13 years. I am not gushing just the the the flu via has been slowly compounding over the past dozen plus years and is ready to burst through the city streets and flood them with the most disgusting refuse and human effluent. You could imagine. That's I am not gushing. I am I am backing up. Okay. I cannot Gosh, less things I want to say here. Okay for us. Oh, yeah, we all know you're stuck up prick. obvious. Second of all, you have said previously on this podcast listeners. I can't remember which episode but I want to say it was the Molly's game episode. Maybe the one before where I said I like poop jokes. You said you hate poop jokes you hate any kind of gross out humor jokes. You think it's beneath you? What was that? What was that? Let's sewage sewage isn't necessarily just excrement. It's everything else that goes in there to its body hair. It's you know rotting corpses. rodents doesn't make it any better. Writing like that? Well, it's not see the thing is it's not specifically the, the elimination, it's everything else. It's all of it's all of our human discarding whether it's organic or integrated, inorganic, but the sewage it was as a metaphor for your anus and everything trapped inside you so airgo it's your own poop. Uh, no, it's it's more like, it's more like just hot air. Let's just call it that. Whatever. And, anyway, it's like what you've got swimming around in your skull as opposed to a brain. Wow. That's that's really mean. Yani. I thought we were friends. But I guess Oh, are you under the impression This is a friendship. Sean. I have pictures of you in my apartment taped to the wall that I throw knives at? You know how like in like movies and TV? How like people will have entire rooms dedicated to the person they're trying to kill or revenge themselves on. I have one of those for you. I wrote that in a script I sent you. And you said it was a little much. So you're saying that you actually it's a little much. That is that is the amount of disdain apoplexy that you inspire in me. Wow. Anyways, back to this movie. I really enjoy it. I love how quick it is how it gets to the point really fast, but it's just so engaging. It's like a roller coaster ride. Every time I watch it. It's a great movie Yani. Moving on. Well, no, you need to you need to give us a rating. I'm just writing your your fly in this banner as high as you are. Let's see. Tomato now. 8.5 right in the middle of the eight dishes. You okay, well, at least you I guess you hold it higher than Scooby Doo. So Bill and Ted face the music go off. I don't remember how I how do I What do I get Molly's game? I can't remember. You gave it like a seven point so No, no, I gave it I said I was gonna give it a seven. But then I gave it an eight something. I put this on the level of Molly's game about for me. I would definitely put Molly's game. Molly, you'll see Molly's game is definitely gonna have a higher rating than this. So listeners another reason why I chose this movie was because how our order works are essentially ninth and 10th episodes is a back to back pick where I get to pick the chooser gets to pick a movie that the other one's going to hate. And then for our every 10th is going to be a movie that we both really dig. So this is actually a two parter. And the two partners theme is trains unstoppable with trains and then next week is going to be the general so trains go really looking forward to Yeah, yani so give us that Plot summary. In a series of never ending near misses, and multiple opportunities for train puns. Ridley Scott wastes 139 minutes beyond his time and attention was Tony Scott, you moron. Who did I say? He said Ridley Scott his brother. Well, Ridley I imagine that Tony didn't get any jobs without Ridley's help. So by association This was also Ridley Scott's fault Ridley if you're listening, man, I wanted to say something really being but you should not speak ill of the dead so I'm not gonna go there. Yeah, I gotta go where my mind went. Yeah, I'm gonna filter it asshole. This was his last most one Mrs. Tony's that comment? Well, I know I can see why. What that's uh oh, has that one made it through it made it through the sieve it wasn't supposed to. I apologize. Piece of shit. Well, listeners I hope you lost any sympathy hat for Jani. I'm just gonna rag on him the whole time. I really hope Sean edited that last part out so here we go talk about Oh no, you're not gonna even know cuz you don't even listen to this fucking podcast. Yeah, that's it's not enough. It is not enough to keep me listening. If you if there was an episode where it was literally just me talking the whole time. I think maybe I'd be a little more invested in it. But since you chime in about boring myself, you make up you comprise about half of the runtime of each episode. Yeah, it's it's just hard. You know, it's like, it's like breaking every single one of my toes over an hour plus period. But let's hear how what what's your summary? Let's it's not, we're not doing a synopsis. What are we doing? Is it a plot summary? Is it a synopsis? So you're going to tell us what happens because this one, it's pretty straightforward. You can sum it up in three sentences. It's literally straightforward. Because we're on a track, we go forward, and that's about it. But before we get to my Plot summary synopsis, oh, it's the yogi green tea quote of the day. Right? listeners, you know it your favorite segment of this podcast, the yogi green tea, quote, The reason you tune in every Monday, okay? The quote it today is, when you schedule a time for recording your podcast, always make sure to switch two times twice before the recording in order to annoy your co host. That's really specific. Yeah, that's like that's, that's serendipitously, impossibly specific. It kind of makes me think that that's not actually what the tea bag says. Oh, yeah, no, that's all First of all, a tea bag. But anyways, do not steep these are you? Are these on the on? Are these like bottle caps? It's a little a little papers. Okay, let me actually read what it actually says. I was just mocking Jani because he changed the time on me twice. Not a delay, how low? How lowly, I prioritize these recordings. We've recorded this, this this podcast at 11 o'clock at night before and now we're recording

30am my time, so I can't hear us open finals. Or today. I have to watch them. I can't drink and I just want to drink. But I can't anyways, actual green tea, quote, create the sequences of goodness consequences will always be good. Much like this movie. There is a bunch of sequences, but no consequences. People die. one man, one guy dies. That By the way, did not happen in real life. We'll get to this later. But this people say that Braveheart is historically the most inaccurate film ever made. I'm gonna raise one vote for unstoppable there is no actual incident is not there is an error. Right? Very little. There's very little overlap here. All right. All right. Plot summary. Chris Pine plays the young train conductor who's a hot shot, but also doesn't really want to be there. Denzel Washington plays the grumpy old man who has a lot of experience. It's like or you don't know what you're doing young kid. And Chris pines like, shut up all man. So that's basically the first half of the movie. They're doing their regular train duties transporting cars and shit. But meanwhile, on another track, Dumb and Dumber To absolute morons accidentally let a train loose on full power. And through an escalation of events, it gets faster and faster and faster, and essentially it plowing forward and is going to cause a ton of havoc unless somebody stops it. So the whole movie is about train folks trying to stop it until around halfway through Chris Pine and Denzel after bonding a little arguing a little bit. They're like, Oh, we got to stop this train. It's only up to us. We got to do it. And then they stopped train after a series of events. Yeah, there's not much more to it. They're they're really he's, he's not exaggerating, there is there was very little else to this movie. Not much of a plot. You know, it's like a hollowed out coconut. There's not really much in there to begin with. And they already took out all the good stuff. So it's just the shells. It's it's the coconut shell the husk of the coconut. Actually nothing good about a coconut, nothing sustaining no milk, none of the coconut meat. It's literally just that Harry. I hate coconut who hates good. Have you ever had a pina colada? I can't remember. The only good thing about the culture in your opinion is the shell so I can bash her skull with it. That's the only good thing about coconut. Well, that's probably a really great analogy for this film. It's a coconut because it I feel a little brain dead after being hit with it. Oh, God. Let's hear what you think are three. Now likable, Matt. No, no, I've been talking to this monstrosity talking too long. I want to know, give me one thing you liked about this movie? Because, you know Jani Jani previously has bitched when I have not sent him the Google Sheet to fill out he purposed chose not to fill it out. I chose not to fill it out. You know why? I don't even know if I have two things to say that I like about this. Maybe the one thing and this is something I see that you noted as a favorite. It's a partial. It's, it's like a partial congruence here. There's barely any CGI in this movie, which is actually impressive for a movie about trains, trains running at while I assume they never actually run at the speed, they're saying they're going at 80 miles an hour trains being derailed blowing up, there's very little use of CGI, very little use of anything but practical effects. There are times where they've got news helicopters flying beside the train, you can tell that it's like actually a real copter, it's they performed a lot of the the special effects practically. And that's something I can respect the hell out of, especially for a modern day. Well, it's not necessarily modern day kind of contemporary, pseudo contemporary action film. So that that is where the appraise that technical aspect alone is worthy of praise, you'll find that I have very, I'm gonna have to, I'm really scraping the shell of that coconut here for things that are that the for the good stuff that's left. It's pretty, it's pretty bare, and it's, it's been pretty emptied out. That's all I got right now, maybe while you're talking I'll be able to just chip like one little morsel away. But until then, Shawn, what's one thing you're like? You know, what I find fascinating Yani is that whenever we choose our opposing movies, its likes or dislikes, wherever we land on the spectrum, one of those is going to be overflowing and the other one is going to be scraping the bottom of the barrel like I don't know, I guess this is something I dislike. Or I guess this is something I like. Yeah, when we get to it. I have almost no dislikes for this movie. And the dislikes are like and I guess their dislikes. I guess this could have been better, but I'm not gonna get angry over it. Anyways, so what Jani kind of pull halfway of a point that I had not even halfway? It's like a fifth of a way. Yeah. So my main point that I want of what I like about this movie is Tony Scott's direction, which I feel is very visceral. You know, it literally, it really feels like you're on a roller coaster. Just full force ahead. I'm not always on board with a ton of shaking, and a lot of jittery. emotionalize zooming in zooming out, but I feel like Tony Scott as a director when he does it. Well, for example, on this movie, it works really well. Now, I'm not going to say every time every movie he does, like for example, I recently watched taking power 123 that movie is not particularly good. Does a very similar thing. So with Tony Scott movie, yeah, the remake. Wait, yeah, listeners if you if you're paying attention. I don't know if Shawn included this in one of the previous episodes, but I had actually mistaken this one for Taking of Pelham 123 because they're both Denzel Washington movies. And they're both train movies both directed by watching this. I imagine I'm going if you make me watch it, I'm going to dislike it probably just as much. I think that's a fair assumption. I think Tony Scott's last decent film was True Romance. You know, I watched the fan recently. There's a sidetrack. I watched the fan recently with Robert De Niro wisely. Snipes. Now what I was expecting, but really fucking good. But anyways, back to this movie. Oh, I think what's so great about Tony Scott. Yeah, like I was saying the shots I feel like really add to the overall aesthetic and feeling of the film. Going off what Jani was also saying with the effects, because I notice what one of the things that really just and there's a later point, but what makes the train so intimidating, is that it's fucking real. They really shot this for the most part. And when the train plows into things, it is really plowing into things and you go all my fucking God, they really did that. It's insane. It's great. And like, that's very much a choice that the director had to make. Oh, am I gonna use CGI and just kind of make it look okay, or am I gonna actually take a fucking train and hit shot. And if he had done the former, I don't think this movie would have worked. Everything else is really great. Don't get me wrong. But without that choice. I feel like that intimidation would be lacking. But in general, a lot of what Tony Scott does, I mean, another thing that i i love about this movie and going off of this and what Yani what you're kind of making light of before is that in a way This movie has no meat to it. And you're kind of right. Oh, but more so I would say it has no fat to it. very lean is very mean, it doesn't have anything extra that it doesn't need. It's just like, oh, it does, but we'll get into that. Yeah, I know what you're gonna refer to. But for the most part, it's just like, we know the point we're gonna get to, we're just gonna stick to it. I mean, the plot starts within the first 10 minutes, we get to it almost right away and just beginning again, like it's just very thorough. It's, it's just so well paced. That's so exciting. It's so engaging Yani. Do you have anything else? You want to call home in an hour's movie? Anything? Um, wow. Uh, first thing top my head. One of the guys from Black Dynamite is in here. It's like the FBI agent or the CIA agent. That double crosses Black Dynamite in Black Dynamite. No, I don't remember his day. But he's like, he get he red states black dynamites licensed to kill double the old pie in the window sale trick. Okay. Yeah, that's it. He's in there for I don't know, maybe a grand total of three minutes that every time I saw him I thought about Black Dynamite and that they'd be happy So yeah, that's that's about it. That's my that's my number two. just a coincidence of familiar actors. There you go. Oh, okay. That's you know, they had a relatively like, respectable cast. I don't I don't remember he just wears I had set a little little heavier says kind with Rosario Dawson mouse to maybe Yeah, yeah, sure. Why not? Yeah, I think it's so I really liked that guy. Because he plays fosco on person of interest. The cast it had a it there we go. That's like my number two. It had a recognizable cast of pretty well talented actors and actresses. Yeah, Denzel. You're okay. Denzel won't get into like character later. But yeah, Denzel is there. Chris Pine is there. Rosario Dawson is there. That guy who always plays a police chief and everything who's playing who's like, I don't know, CEO or CEO or whatever. His position is the corporate guy. He's there. There's a guy who looks like Kevin Bacon. So I thought of Kevin Bacon. Whenever I saw him on screen, the guy he's like, he's one of the corporate guys. He looks a little bit like Kobe kind of has the nose kind of has a young Kevin Bacon. Yeah, he got a facial structure. So I thought about footloose and I thought about I love football. You know, not correct t Nelson. Who's, Who's that? Who's the dad from Footloose? JOHN Lithgow john Lithgow, I thought about him slapping his daughter. So yeah, my ego. All right, cool. Next point I was kind of referring to in my first point, is the train because the train really is the central focus of this film, if anything, is almost like another character. And what I love about it is, this movie is almost like a monster movie. In a sense, the train is coming for you. It's coming forward, like Freddy or Jason or Michael Myers. It's coming. It's kind of faceless in a way, but it has a mask in front of it. Tony Scott often does these great shots in the front of it, where he has like a long lens, very sharp focus on the front of the train, kind of like the edges are kind of like steamy are kind of blurred out. And it's just like, it's just really intimidating. You go, Oh, shit, this thing is coming. And it's gonna get you if you're in its path. And I just thought that was awesome. Going along with the actual practical effects. It really sells that this thing is scary. This thing is intimidating. And I just, it reminds me a little bit of like, sicario I went into it being like, Oh, this is kind of just like, you know, a drug thriller. And it ends up being more of a horror movie than I realized not to say that this is a horror movie, but it definitely borrows elements of that, that I thought was just really interesting and really worked. Well. You know, speaking of sicario Shawn actually did you know that the the train had a small part in sicario he was one of the one of the members of the DEA if you saw him in the background, he's in like the offices at one point he's just like the train he's just filing papers he's filing a report it's a blink and you miss moment but the trade is there. It's it's he's he this this was really a huge jumping off point for the trade, unstoppable, so he hasn't done anything. So number three. He did this movie. Then he books a car out of school declared and try and train centric films. Yeah. Too bad for the tray and just like you know he was he's faded to a life of anonymity now just like CGI Scooby Doo. He done trying to be funny. Have you stopped? Have you stopped trying to be funny because you're not how do you stop a train? Apparently you can't break in front of it you have to break behind it so you have to get behind me and try to slow me down. Unfortunately you're not a train. So I'm just gonna take that coconut and just bam bam bam. You know what I'm not a train I'm a steamroller I'm possibly even more dangerous are steamroller because you just steamroll over everything I don't even care about No, I don't give a damn about what you say. What's my number three? What's the third thing I like? Seriously, I don't have anything. I'll just move on. Because you have no way I can find a third thing. The third thing I know you don't know. It's I it's I presented a challenge for myself and I have to meet it. What could my third thing possibly be here? Um, hold on. It's gotta be there somewhere. I'm reaching. A No, Hi, I'm not I don't have a third thing. I cannot find a third thing to admire in this movie. I am sorry. I've let myself down. I've listeners I've let you down. I apologize. But I think I'm going to more than make up for it when we move on to the next section. So Shawn, let's just hear your third thing. Okay, so we can call our rifle I want to say my third thing, but at the same time a train. I want to say my third thing, but I'm also gonna need to shut the fuck up right now. I want to say my third thing. And my best guess is it's gonna lead to something Jani is gonna hate. But also, it's going to be one of my dislikes as well. So we're gonna like cover a lot of ground right now. You see it in the notes dumb ass. You like it, but you also dislike it. I dislike the Chris Chris Pine texting fiasco. That's why I call that basically Chris Pine and his wife, right? So I know when I start talking about Chris Pine, you're gonna bring that shit up. So it's gonna all lead into it itself. Okay. Anyways, I really loved the pairing of Chris Pine and Denzel Washington. When I first watched this movie, this was when I was just like, super into Chris Pine. I still love him. But this was him coming off of Star Trek, and I'm like, Oh, my fucking god, this guy. Great. And then pairing him with Denzel and they have they have such great chemistry and they work really well together. So it was just really fun watching them bond. And I think what's really great is that there's a lot of tension between the two. But there are also like small moments where they're talking about, for example, Denzel is talking about his daughters and how they work at Hooters and they have a laugh about it. So there's a lot of genuine bonding between the two. And I love how it's kind of like a because this movie is so tight, it's like not up or shut up. Like we got a we have a mission to do we got something to do if we want to help people if you want to save people and it kind of just do it they work together and it works. The movie works really well for that. So I love that. Jani. Why do you hate Denzel Washington? Well, it's not just Denzel again. Okay, glad I caught that joke. caught that joke in the Save not gonna say it out loud. Why do I hate Denzel Washington and Chris Pine in this movie because they found in so much of their backstories so much of their it was just all like it was all very neatly inserted the only time they really mentioned it is when there's like nothing going on with the train it's like oh, we got like you know we got about another three minutes until something else has happened. Perfect time for some exposition throw it at me danzo what you think they're gonna like give the exposition in the middle of all we got to hook the trade by the way let me tell you about my wife while we're trying to hook the train together. It was so all of the emotion all of the backstory all of the like human connection was so phoned in and inauthentic I just think it would have been a way better movie if they had done away with it done away with the wife subplot done away with the daughters just had it be two men struggling to get a train to stop show the human struggle there. It doesn't matter where their lives extend to beyond this movie. I don't care. And because it was so lazy, so like obvious that it caused me complete apathy towards those aspects of the movie. I feel like it would have been way stronger if they just focused on the matter at hand stopping the damn train, and stop distracting me with the two daughters that work at Hooters and one of them being a Little bit pissy with dad because, oops, he forgot to call on her birthday but then calls the next day to apologize that it's not like he waited a week or a month and he's like, oh, shoot, sorry girl Happy birthday. He called the next day it's not even that big of a deal. And then to move on from that to like Chris Pine and his wife and his wife, sorry, girlfriend, I don't even know wife, its wife, right? Yes, the wife move on to the wife and the son thing like you don't make his character look relatable, or intelligent, or even likeable. By giving him his backstory. It just makes him seem like kind of a creepy dude, which isn't, by the way, helped by his his profile photo on his wife's phone. Or every time they show a photo of him on the news. He looks like a menacing messed up guy. They it's like they purposefully chose the worst pictures of him. Yeah, I can't argue it doesn't make any sense. It's it's just so dumb. And it doesn't really add anything to his character or the tension that I feel the tension isn't in. Oh, well. Well, Chris Paul, the tension isn't in the resolution of Chris pines, marital troubles, or den Zell's little girl's not being killed by a train exploding near them or him? Yeah, resolving this tiny little issue. This this very, like infinitesimally small issue as compared to a train blowing up a large chunk of a 725,000 person populated city. It is so negligible that I really just wish it wasn't there at all. And it would have been stronger. You could have explored way more if it just hadn't existed to begin with. It was it was the it was just like, copy and paste. Hollywood bullcrap. I've seen it before. I'll see it again. Just do away with it. listeners. I just want you to know that the amount of time Yani just spent explaining why he didn't like it is amount about the amount of time that they actually spend on both of those subplots. Yeah, it's so pointless. You could have just cut it out. I disagree, though. I I it's like having a penis. painted on Mona Lisa's forehead, a small little, like, two inch, two inch long penis just painted onto her forehead. Yeah, it's a small part of the painting and there's way more you can appreciate outside of the penis on the forehead. But why even put it there to be good listeners. I want you to get what Jani just said. Jani just call this movie the Mona Lisa. He said this film is the Mona Lisa, of filmmaking. So we just want to get that on record. It does have a dick on it. But it's still the Mona Lisa. No, I'm sorry. Let me if that's the comparison you want to make? Let's just call it like it's an Andy Warhol painting. It's it's imagine one of those suitcases. Pain is hanging from the sound. Don't do that Campbell's Soup. Yeah, it's Andy Warhol. That's how bad this No, fuck that. No, you said Mona Lisa. You guys stick to your guns. Anyways. No, shut the fuck. Oh, Andy Warhol Shut up. Anyways, I disagree and agree with Jani on this point. Because one of my dislikes is essentially Chris pines backstory. I think that his kind of like tension with his wife, and the first half is a little bit interesting. It's just when you find out the particular reason, which is basically him not understanding how texting works and misconstruing something and just taking things too far. It's just like, this is really stupid. That was like, a really dumb mistake, bro. That being said, one of the aspects we didn't really talk about a ton is says, These characters are very blue collar guys, at least Denzel Washington says, I think Chris pines is too gray. I feel like it works for their characters. I just don't think that Chris pines backstory is I don't use the word relatable that Jani was using, but just it's not as sympathetic. But I still like Chris Pine a lot. And he's clearly working to be better than he he was. So I don't have as much of a problem with that, though. I do agree that that's a problem with den Zell's daughters. Yeah, they're barely and they're negligible. But I think they're in at the perfect amount. You know, it's, it's a bit. It's a bit cheesy. Cheesy, like the kids on the train and the first half of that movie, where it's just like, Oh, is this train going to hit a train? Man, it's goofy. It's silly, but it's almost is more endearing because of that. So I like those aspects. Okay, speaking to the beginning. I'm not this is like much a sub point to Shawn's response on like, God always got the same points. When the movie starts out, you get you get inside. What you don't know is Chris brought pines brother's house. And you see Chris pines brother who you don't know his his his brother, by the way, looking through a doorway to Chris Pine, who's lying awake, shirtless, and then ends the scene by pulling the blanket off of him to reveal that he's in his tighty whities to reveal a very muscular, very shivering, buff Chris Pine. And the first thing I think of is, Is this his lover is this is this is male lover, who is this, they don't actually acknowledge that the man whose home he was staying in was his brother's until like, I think 45 minutes in it's something like that. It's way longer than it should have been. I think that to use your logic and Cold War. If we remember that, you know, you got to read between the lines, you got to you got to there are things that the movie is not going to tell you. You can't just always be spoon fed everything you got to you got to figure out you got to use your imagination or whatever, whatever your stupid was in that one. You know what the problem was the big problem? Yeah, they don't even look like they're the same ethnicity. His brother looks like he's Hispanic. And Chris pide is obviously white. You got it, you have to like, objectively, they did not look anything alike. They didn't even look like they were from the same part of the world. They could have, they could have had different mothers. Yeah, that's a lot. That's a lot. That is way more to ask the audience to assume that what you're talking about. But anyways, the second thing I really dislike moving on the kids, the train full of kids, the movie is named unstoppable. By the time you just see these, this train full of children gradually approaching the unstoppable train triple seven, which by the way, real life was actually quadruple eight. But triple seven, you see them like slowly triple seven cells closing in on this contact point yet, you know, as they're almost about to hit, hit air quotes around hit this train full of children, were only a half an hour into the movie. And the movies named unstoppable, it's pretty easy to add two and two together and assume this train is not going to hit the kids. Yeah, you know that probably within 15 minutes, judging by how quickly the pacing is going. So why even include it? Why even have it be there, it's not a risk. It's not a steak. It's just there to pad the runtime, that the tension, it just totally undoes uncoils all the tension it's trying to set up. I agree that l at a pads that a bit. And I like the kids being there, not necessarily for the attention because yeah, they're not going to kill all the kids. But that adds this kind of like cheesy 80s element to it. That being said, I don't think the fucking balls to kill children. No. But that being said, I don't feel like that necessarily negates the attention of a triple seven because the thing is, cuz I use this argument with horror movies all the time. Because again, it has a similar framework where it's the protagonist, you know, they're not going to die. Exactly. So that often happens where, like, I remember and this is a small spoiler in that movie, the clown is just like brutally killing kids for the first half. And then somewhere in the second half, the clown gets his hands or it was a Pennywise Pennywise gets his hands on one of the protagonists. And you're like, wait, but you could so easily fucking kill this kid right now. Like every other kid you fucking killed and like a split second. But Pennywise chooses for whatever fucking reason not to do it and like to prolong it. And that's when the tension gets negated because you're like, you can't not do that, right? Or this. The train still going forward. The train is still heading shit. bad shit is still actually happening. It's not actually killing anyone. Right? It's not. It's not gonna kill it. It's just a bunch of near misses. You're right. It's a bunch of near misses. But I think it's far more intimidating because yes, it's near misses, but that's not on the part of the train. You know, it's not like the trainees make a conscious choice. Oh, let me slow down a little bit. So I just don't hit that horse. That's not what's happening. I wish it did. I saw that horse and I was like, please, please just kill the horse. Just do that. It's a horse. It's not a human. It's going to be sad, but at least we know it can kill something and it doesn't they don't have the they don't have the intestinal fortitude to handle that train coming in hot. You've heard it here, folks. Jani wants to see a trainload of kids die. He wants to see horses die. I mean, I don't know what to say. I want this murder want you to be valid stakes in a movie. Stay be intimidated. it's valid. It's not it's not at all. No No totally invalid, totally placid. This is this is a flatbed film through and through. I would say it is limbo. So in content triple seven is more intimidating than Robert Mitchum and Night of the Hunter. Don't you dare say that don't you do take that back? No. is take that I'm sorry. Hey, you know who has a higher body count Robert Mitchum, Robert Mitchum is more effective at killing people than a 12 million pound train. sure he's more effective at killing the non main character Jim Rohn 80 miles an hour the trade Shere Khan can Robert Mitchum single Lee single handedly destroy an entire train car the train could but then rain could destroy you just you just shoot Robert Mitchum and then he screams like a little bitch and runs away. Oh. That's what he does. He's He's pathetic. He's weak. You should triple seven. You know what's gonna have to trade you just have to turn some wheels. The only thing that stops the train is turning some wheels and hitting a break. You don't even have to shoot. Well, actually, you know what? I'll take this back. They do try to shoot the trade. Yeah, they tried to shoot the train. And it takes it like a matte box. That's not even an exaggeration. They get like half a dozen officers, police officers by the train tracks and they attempt to shoot the train to stop it. I'm making it sound a little more ridiculous than that there's like a like a like a cut off valve that would stop the train that they're aiming for. But still, and that's actually one of the few things that did happen in real life that you're missing a little bit so they're essentially trying to shoot a tiny little button on the side of the train. But it was right neck with a shotgun with shotgun to the fuel tank. Yeah, right above fuel tag. So he could have easily just caused way more damage. But you know, just do that was real. That's what actually in real life stupid in the movie. See? See whenever whenever you criticize characters for being stupid and doing stupid things, I just want you to remember that scene. And that that is what actually happened in real life. And that yes, people can be that stupid. I just want you to know that. What's your number two, what's what's the second thing you disliked, you know, like, you have to have like, like ianis likes. I was really scraping the bottom of the barrel for this. So my number two is just Kevin Corrigan's character I felt was kind of pointless. He was kind of there. He offered one or two tidbits, and that was that I had wished. I think Kevin Corrigan is a fine actor. When I say fine, I don't mean I made this joke in an earlier podcast find him physically appealing. I mean, okay, he's okay. Because what we were talking about before with Kevin Chapman fosco, aka, the guy in Black Dynamite. I wish the Kevin Corrigan's lines were given to him because I just like Kevin Chapman as an actor. So that's a little unfortunate, but it's not a big deal. Because check Kevin Chapman didn't have a whole lot to do. And Kevin Korean didn't have a whole lot to do. So those characters could have easily been combined. Plus, they have the same name. They might as well be the same. Exactly. So every Shawn I've met has been just the worst. So why not let every Kevin be the same to what other Sean's Have you met. You're the only one you're the only Shawn. Yeah, only Shawn that you know, only Shawn that I know. And you're the worst. So thanks. I actively go out of my way to not meet other Sean's because of the experience I've had with you. Do you just like as soon as soon as if you go to a party and then someone puts out their hand and introduces themselves and say hi, I'm Shawn. Do you automatically just turn right around not even introduce yourself? Or do you like to slap their Shawn and say You're a disgrace and then turn away like how what's your reaction? You mean another Shawn? Well, it depends. Do I have a drink in my hand or not? whatever way you want to take this. Okay, so if I've got an alcoholic drink in my hand, I splash it on his chest. And while he's turning around to dry himself off, I take out my lighter and I set him on fire. I use the alcoholic beverage as an accelerant. Yes, that's what I do. Well do my might have already done this is why we record this podcast remotely. And why I don't want to fly out to sea Yani there's a reason I don't live in Canada anymore. I have this fear that he's just gonna kill me. What? No, no, no, no. Yeah, totally. On a totally unrelated note, I have like so much. High ABV low quality vodka here that I want you to try very high proof. So you should come over like pretty soon before I run out of it. I know how much you like fod. Yeah, he's the kind actually Yeah, he's the kind of asshole who invented until you try and catch COVID. Just to give it to me. I won't argue against that. Wow. All right, what's your number two or three? Sorry, by the way, again, answer my question who is Kevin Corrigan's character I don't know who you're talking about. Don't even know who we're talking about. He's the guy who came in, oversaw he, Kevin Corrigan, was in bad boys and you criticize them because he's the scientist guy who love flay or love flow shoots. Kevin Corrigan. Yeah, he is the guy who came in to teach the school kids. And when school kids don't come in, he kind of just stays there floating around for some reasons like it's just a guy exaggerate the effects of the volatile chemical they have on the train. He's like, let me give you some tips about some things in you just like couldn't Rosario Dawson just have known this? Why did this guy need to be here? exposition? Not really, again, it could have diverted all his lines to one of the other characters that already existed, and it would have been fine. Well, no, you'd be hearing like facts coming. Don't cut this out. This is gonna be bad but you'd be hearing facts coming from from a woman of color. So obviously people aren't going to listen to that. Allow Jani. That's really telling joke. Obviously. That's that's a very facetious joke. Yeah. So you heard it here so kind of true. Ronnie is both please write this No, stop but also massage. No, I've not. I mean, we were one of those is true, but I won't tell you which one Well, I mean obviously the massage dentist because you said it multiple times before on this podcast. And yeah, you know, but in all fairness, I did pay for Mona she is she is a mail order bride. Your fiance is a mail order bride again. Please cut this out. She would be so angry if she found a way to leave and then it's not true. First of all, it's not true. But she I am on a very short leash with her right now. Yeah, good. But literally in our lat so listeners last episode we record was the Batman vs. Superman bonus episode. And Yani straight up says I don't like Wonder Woman because I'm a misogynist. So you do the math. Who's a misogynist? Jani. Anyways, my final thing that I disliked and we need to stress the first two were really like, I guess I don't like this bit. But they're not terrible. This final bit is not even really a dislike just I just don't like that. Hollywood does this. When I watched this movie in the test screening. They very clearly use the Why so serious track from the Dark Knight because the Dark Knight had come out a year or two earlier. So it's very clear that they use that as attempt track throughout this movie, specifically on the track, the Stanton curve, and essentially just ripped off that song. It works. Don't get me wrong, it works in the movie. I still like the soundtrack. It's just very clearly a ripoff of The Dark Knight soundtrack. And that's kind of annoying. That's inspired so unimaginative. I said like the scores really. That's that's a great way of summarizing this. Oh, it's very mediocre now. It's great. I love it. It sets me every time I've watched you know i have i didn't actually say the third thing I really, like aside from the massive dramatization and over exaggeration of actual events, I love it being you know, the fact that the train never actually got above 50 miles an hour though in the movie, it goes like up to 8070 Plus, definitely the fact that it's only like on the tracks for 66 miles so this issue exists for less than an hour and a half in the real world. And also the fact that they didn't By the way, have to throw Chris Pine he didn't have to jump into a welders truck going 70 miles an hour on the train in order to stop it. He what happened was they managed to manually break all the cars until the train slowed down to 11 miles an hour. Then one of the guys jumped off ran alongside it to get to the to the to the to the train cabin and then stop it manually from there but even you can make a movie you wouldn't want to watch that. You wouldn't want to watch. I didn't want to watch this. This is great. Didn't want to watch this either. You have no all of that aside, not just the historical inaccuracy. But the logistical inaccuracy to the fact that all of these news reports that you see By the way, this thing is just littered with news reports, news reporting footage, all of that the fact that all of the news reports not only do the reporters reveal pictures of every single person important to either Causing or stopping the issue IE, like the main Dumbo, who causes the entire who incites the entire issue. And then Denzel Washington and Chris pines characters, not only do you see pictures of them, their names are also revealed. Not only does none of that happen, none of that would happen in this sort of scenario. It not only doesn't make sense, in the real world, it doesn't even make sense in the crazy, like, heightened fake world of the movie. It's only there to grab the attention of all of the people related to the guys trying to stop the damn thing. I think that's great. And I agree. It doesn't make any sense. But it works. I see it and I'm like that there's that never happens in real life. I don't care. It just does. I don't care. It totally takes me out of. But this is not it's not a movie grounded. It's not only a movie not grounded. In reality. It's not grounded in logic, either. But here's another thing I'll give you that you didn't say the reporters are basically like the best sports news reporters, because they're given us play by plays as things are happening, even though they would have no idea what's really going on. And how would they even understand train logic and terminology? I hate the cinematography. Oh, fuck you. I love it. It is so schizophrenic and over animated. It's like one of my one of my chief issues with Tony Scott's trademark, I guess is that the shots are constantly moving his dollies whose zooms, zooms are fine, I'm okay with zooms, but you use them sparingly and with intent. And it's like every time somebody is about to say something, the camera zooms into their face like that. And in shots where people are just talking in an office, by the way, these are all shots that are very quickly edited together, especially when they're with characters in two separate locations. They're still being very quickly edited to keep you know the audience's attention. Not only is the editing already quick, you got a camera on a dolly dollying across a scene. And you got to imagine that they've got like six guys behind the dolly. They're pushing it so they can get the camera 10 yards within three seconds. It's just a crazy amount of unnecessary speed, especially in the end, but it adds to the momentum of the tray and it works. It does. No it's so unnecessary. It's distracting. It is distracting Lee animate. Here's the thing, like he does a similar thing and taking the PAL how 123 because you're right, it is a trademark of his direction in some of his other movies. Yeah, it doesn't work because you know, those movies are either slower, or they don't have the same kind of rhythm that this one does. But here it's just I feel like it fits the tone and fits the momentum and the kind of speed of this film 100% I was actually thinking about there isn't one. There is one transition he has where it's like, he's dollying around Denzil as he speaking, and then he cuts to Rosario Dawson. And it's essentially the same Dolly movement. And I'm like, that's a good transition, bro. You know what you're doing? That's the one good one. All the other ones are entirely unnecessary. Great. I love it. I 100% agree. No, no, I think like the train, a better form of cinematography that would have fit this subject matter would have been something that's a little more steady and inexorable. Instead of frenetic and jumpy to things that trains are not and the Scimitar there's just look you what you and here's, here's something that kind of bugs me about what you're saying. You like the Bourne Ultimatum. But you hate what the editing did to action film. And I think this is a prime example of action movie editing gone awry. But Tony was doing this. It's so unnecessarily quit. I know he was doing it beforehand. He was doing it by man on fire, which was like 2004. But he was so there was so much more nuance to his to his film cinematography beforehand. Speaking about True Romance. Yeah, Top Gun, I'm not sure there was like outside influence, but it looked beautiful. And it was not excessive, at least in a technical sense. And, you know, I just feel like his work post 2000 started to get more and more unnecessary. Like my dad would say, son, it doesn't need to be that good. Which is to say, it's not good. It's bad. And it's bad because you're trying too hard. So basically, your dad says, You're trying too hard. You're terrible at everything you do. Am I reading that? Right? Well, no, that specific quote comes from me trying to tell him I love him. But he told me that and then he just left me in the forest and I had to find my way back home. That was that was my punishment for Trying to express love to another man that checks out. That explains why things. Listen to the return episode. By the way, folks, if you want to understand Eonni, he watched a very scarring movie as a nine year old and yeah, crazy times. Anyways, I just finish off this point. Like I said multiple times. Yeah, his track record post, I I'd say man on fire. Well, really, he's started transitioning around the fan. So around that time to this point, it's kind of spotty. Some of them are real good hits, some of them are not as great and as cinematography doesn't always lend itself to the work at hand. But I feel like in this case, it really works. Anyways, yani, do you have any other dislikes? Or do you want to get to Final Thoughts? The ending was stupid, too. By the way, like I said, the majority of all the events in this movie are exaggerated. And they do this. Well, this is what happened to this character thing, you know, where it's playing footage of them, and then it freeze frames and then caption this cell. It's such and such happened to this person and such and such happened to this person. None of it actually is true. None of these characters Not only did not exist in the real world, they didn't share names of their counterparts either. So what's the point of that? Why? Why do I care that the guy who caused the entire shenanigan the entire boondoggle, it's kind of more of a boondoggle. This whole effort was a boondoggle. Why do I care that he got fired and is now working in fast food? Yeah, it's probably assume this guy's getting fired for negligence. Pretty obvious. Why do I care that Denzel, why should I care that Denzel Washington's character isn't retiring but in fact, gets to stay on for who knows how long? Why do I care? Why should I care that Chris Pine gets back with his wife and kid, it's implied. There's a resolution I cared. There's some conciliation going on at the end, you see it? It's just such an empty effort. It's an it's an empty gesture. It's like holding out a fruit to a homeless person. But upon inspection, the homeless person realizes it's actually a fake apple. It's like, Okay, it looks like a nice gesture from a distance. But what the hell am I supposed to do with this thing, but I can't eat it. I could sell it, but I would get maybe like 50 cents to $1 for it is supposed to laugh with Denzel Washington, you know, just have a big old smile on your face like he does, which is what I had. I had, I was just perplexed. I was in a state of perfection for an hour and 40 minutes and now I have to relive that talking to you. I don't like being confused and upset, and angry all at the same time. That's not why I watch anything. You want things to be upset and be frustrated at yourself and be sad. That's why you watch it. You don't like happy stuff. You don't like fun stuff. You're like a Soul Cycle. So you know watching watching things that that make me sad. That's your go to feel watching things that are sad make me feel good. Like I said, we all have sadomasochistic tendencies. Yeah. What are your this entire friendship? No, this isn't a friendship. It's not a relationship. I I'm more than anything. I question it. It's it's a masochistic thing. It's Saito mass it is it really my rival? I like watching you suffer. But for some reason. I also like being I like having pain inflicted upon me. I must because I keep coming back. For some reason. There's, there's a reason why most of my friendships are just people mocking me and me mocking them back. It's like, there's something wrong with me. But that's something to unpack in therapy. You know, okay, let's be real. I'm the most because if you have two friendships, and one of the two friendships is like that. And technically, I guess that could be most. I have more than two friendships named two. I'm not going to name people on this podcast besides you Jani. Why is because if they heard that they would call you up and say, Hey, man, I don't really consider us friends. You're kind of more of a work acquaintance. Well, that Yani, what are your final thoughts on this movie? Don't waste your time folks. Be a better man than I be a better man than I have. Then. Then Tony Scott, then Chris Pine, Denzel Washington based on his two daughters who don't matter. Chris pines brothers slash possible homosexual lover. We never really get any definition on that. We just, we know. Just Just Just take it all you take, take it all. Hop on a train and run away as fast as you can. Because you don't want this thing catching up to you, listeners. Oh, by the way, oh, shoot. I forgot to make a training day joke. That's right. This is basically trading day with trains. It has Denzel Washington to he's the best He's trading a white guy. It's basically training day they should have just named it train hyphen ng day. show called train day because it's one day it's with Martin was better. It's one day it's a train Chris pied is being trade their auto train. Also Denzel Washington. You know, I don't know if you could get something any more perfect than that. Hold on. I did. Right. But what a B train parentheses IMG day, like the IMG is in their works. Yeah. Let's see. Oh, yeah, no, I compare this. That's another thing. I compare this to watching copulation shots of guys getting hit in the groin. like nobody watches growing shot compilations to see guys get hit in the foot, which is basically what unstoppable is. It's a bunch of near growing shot misses. There you go. Also, Chris Pine. His accent is all over the place. Sometimes it's it's Pennsylvania, sometimes it's not there at all. He couldn't even keep track of it. I didn't care. Oh, I know that. That's the only way you could like this. Just not just being totally nihilistic about your entire existence, you know? Anyways, I love this movie. Jani doesn't Jani? What's your rating? That's your final thought. Yeah, I already suppressed my final I, the final thoughts are for the other person. Because I express my thoughts in the intro. I don't want to reiterate, that's how we do this fucking podcast. I forget, because we're constantly changing. And it's like, every week, there's a new rule, there's a new structure, we have to do something different way. Chances are pleasing. Shawn. Pay attention, I tell you ahead of time you know it. You're just a lazy son of a bitch. I got other stuff going on. Okay. Um, let's see what would my rating be. So there are 25 cars on Chris pines train, he accidentally hooks up 25 cars as opposed to 20 which, which makes 25. So you take the you take the the original intended number of trains, train cars, which is 20. And you divide that by the excess and you get four. And you take you take the the two protagonists, so you have two, and you divide that by the by the number of guys who die in this movie. That's one. And so you get to then you take that to and you add scruciating. You take you take what do you take? I don't know nuts. I'm trying to get I'm trying to get to like a, like a 4.8. I'm giving this one a 4.8. Wow. So we are recording math on that one. You know, he just threw something you had a four, how do you get an eight you need to take you need to take the two members divided by the total number of deaths you get to somehow you get a point for a point four is added on there. Where does that point four coming from? Maybe it's? Yeah, I don't I don't know a lot of numbers together dawn. And fine, it would stick? Yes, you throw a whole lot of numbers on there, you get four and 2.4 over three somehow. Maybe three is the total number of hubs of the horse that almost got hit. When it was on the track, I'd done something with quadruple a three hubs, you divide 2.4 by three, and you get actually no Hold on. Let's back up that you take the total number of eights in the name of the train the real life train, and that's four times eight is 32. And you divide that by 10. And you get a 3.2. That's that's my rating. This is a 3.2. I like that one better. Thanks, Shawn. God dammit. Yeah, no, or No. Oh, there you go. You've got you've got the name of this train in the movie is 777. You take that you add it together that's 21. You take 21 and you divide it by three. Again, the total number of hooves that horse has on the ground when it's almost hit by the train. And you get seven again, you take seven and you divide that by the total number of Oscars. Denzel Washington has one and that is 3.5. I think he's one two, right? You divide that by the total number of Star Trek movies Chris Pine is in and that's three, right? You take 3.5 you divide that by three, you get like 1.1 something remaining. And you add that to four maybe it's a 5.1. So this is like easily, obviously between a 4.8 and a 5.1. Let's call it like a 4.95. Final answer. 4.95 out of 10. Yeah, listeners, as Johnny was given that long, convoluted answer, with multiple ratings, he gave multiple ratings. I was thinking to myself, you know, if this if Jani and I were in this real life situation, and we were waiting by the track, you know, just waiting for a 777 to pass by, he would explain this long math answer that doesn't make any sense. And I would just be waiting for that train to be coming in and wait for that perfect moment and then push them right in front that train. And then like the end of the movie, everyone would clap for me, because I killed Jani would have been better than watching this. Yeah, fuck you, Shawn. You've already explained what we're watching next week. What is it again, listeners next week, we're gonna watch the second part of our train double feature. We're gonna watch Buster Keaton's classic the general as a found that Ei and I both love. It's a fantastic film, and it's going to be a fun one. Yeah, I cannot argue with you on that point. It will be fun. I will enjoy it. Unfortunately, because unlike this movie, the general it stands up for the right for the for the for the ascendancy of the South goddamnit of the Confederacy. Yeah, ruin things. You got it. You got to you got to take what's good about a movie and just ruin it. But we'll get to that next week. In the meantime, fuck you go fuck yourself. Your piece of shit. Okay. Chris Pine. No, no, no. Tony Scott them out of this. Leave them out of this. Fuck the cinematographer this the composer of your parents for having you Wow, just get fuck everything. I just want your entire life to be Fuck you. Goodbye. I make sure to follow this on your mother please. I just just censored or to get or cut it out to do one that just do Oh no, I'm keeping all that in. I've got Johnny's Mom, I just want you in on since I want you to know what your son just said to my parents. I would never bring you into this. Okay. I would never curse you out. But you know, your son just doesn't have that civility. He's a real jerk.