Black People Can Karen Too

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Speaker 1: Speaks to the planet.

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Speaker 2: I go by the name of Charlamagne of God and guess what, I can't wait to see y'all at the third annual Black Effect Podcast Festival. That's right, We're coming back to Atlanta, Georgia, Saturday, April twenty six at Poeman Yards and it's hosted by none other than Decisions Decisions, Mandy B and Wheezy. Okay, we got the R and B Money podcast with taking Jay Valentine. We got the Woman of All podcasts with Saray Jay Roberts. We got Good Moms, Bad Choices. Carrie Champion will be there with her next sports podcast and the Trap Nerds podcast, with more to be announced. And of course it's bigger than podcasts. We're bringing the Black Effect Marketplace with black owned businesses, plus the food truck court to keep you fed while you visit us.

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Speaker 1: All right, listen, you don't want to miss this.

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Speaker 2: Tap in and grab your tickets now at Black Effect dot Com Flash Podcast Festival.

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Speaker 1: Once upon a time, there was a good old traditional housewife. She cleaned and cared for her children and the man of the house, and of course she didn't talk back.

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Speaker 2: She was both.

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Speaker 1: Obedient and soft by nature. She was a good woman who always made choices.

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Speaker 3: We're Good Mom's Bad Choices to single moms who said fuck the patriarchy, shared all their bad choices and.

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Speaker 1: Found out they were so bad after all. We're experts.

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Speaker 4: Overshares and your new besties.

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Speaker 1: Sit back and enjoy the ride. I can do it. Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices.

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Speaker 4: I'm Erica and I'm Mela.

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Speaker 1: Happy Wednesday, book you, Happy hent Day, Beaches. It's a Wednesday.

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Speaker 5: It's a sunny day in California, and I don't know where you're at, but you know today, I'm glad we lived in We live in LA.

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Speaker 1: It's summer.

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Speaker 4: I don't know if you guys are familiar with the seasons of Los Angeles, but it's winter, summer, fall, winter, summer.

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Speaker 5: And if you guys are in the LA area and you have a podcast and you want to start a podcast, make sure you check out our podcast studio.

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Speaker 1: It's called Good Good Media. You can check us out on Instagram.

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Speaker 5: Go to Good Goodproductions dot com and book your podcast session today.

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Speaker 4: It's located in sunny California in Hollywood Hills. It has beautiful palm tree views right across the street from Universal City Walk or Universal Studios, and of course.

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Speaker 1: In and out we could record right here on this couch.

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Speaker 5: Of course you can't use this beautiful sign of ours, but we will customize your set to your liking.

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Speaker 1: How are you.

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Speaker 4: I'm doing pretty good. I'm doing good. I'm feeling good. You know, the sun is shining, so I can't complain. I went hiking this morning, so you know, a little vitamin D is always makes a girl feel good.

00:02:36
Speaker 1: Yeah, I got some D this morning, so I feel really good.

00:02:43
Speaker 5: Speaking of D, I got some D. Although we've been practicing semen retention in my home, not in my home. In my home, we've been practicing semen retention, which I've really had to work past.

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Speaker 1: My need for completion. Breeding kink, breedingkink. No, I don't know.

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Speaker 4: There's no no no, because you don't he doesn't have to be breathing.

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Speaker 1: No, that's what it's called.

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Speaker 4: It's called a breeding kink. When you like come inside you.

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Speaker 5: No, I just like, I just like come because it feels completion. It feels like I've accomplished the end goal. There's I don't have no breathing kink as of now.

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Speaker 4: It's completing for the men, So how is that going for you?

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Speaker 1: Is?

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Speaker 5: He like, I think it's going great for him, So not for me, it's for him.

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Speaker 4: So even if you are come to completion, you're still like, like you kind of want.

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Speaker 1: To see it.

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Speaker 5: I mean, it's today, I did, today, I did today, Today, I did. But I was the one that actually said I don't think you should come because I knew had a really long day and I was like, you probably need all this energy.

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Speaker 1: Go go be great, And so he didn't, so he.

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Speaker 4: Sucked it back in and went about his day. Well that's that's a well trained man. Orlando is not as keen on wanting to attempt or master the Semen retention. Although I think it's it's about to start to be uh enforced, because we're gonna need all all the baby making batter, So just save.

00:04:02
Speaker 5: It up, not the batter, so make the cake. I think he I think he's got the batter.

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Speaker 1: He's jamaking.

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Speaker 4: I lack in it, I know, but you know, I've just been like I've been really I've been really sitting on and meditating on not and this year, but apparently a year and a half ago, I put a calendar invite for March first to start making a baby just to take out my IUD this week. This week, Oh wow, I had pre arranged for myself to remove my ID too soon, too soon pass self, but because the alert was there, and it was put there a year and a half ago. Now I'm kind of in the mindset like, damn, if I am going to have a baby like at this cycle in my life in the next twelve to eighteen months, then I really need to hone in on a bit getting rich, but be like really getting like the best of the best for this batter. So you know, I'm really going to be like I'm when I probably do like a metal d talks plastics, like just take all the shit out so that the baby won't come in with any of the bullshit that I've polluted my body with over the last thirty six years. So if I'm going to do it, Ortlanta needs to do it. So you need to start retaining that baby.

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Speaker 1: M Well, good luck with that.

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Speaker 5: I don't mean that, I mean about just the taking the metals out of your body and all the things, because I feel like it's like damn near fucking impossible in America.

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Speaker 4: Well, the only reason I know that because oh boy that we see with a cute baby in Costa Rica. He told me that he prepared his wife's body for their baby.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, what do you mean, Yeah, it's easy in Costa Rica.

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Speaker 4: I'm no, they live both, they live in the States. And I asked him of what kind of things were you doing over there, master sense over here, and he said metal de talks. I think he said, like hard plastics or something. And I was just like, my plan was to DM him and ask for more.

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Speaker 1: And more polyesters.

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Speaker 4: I don't I'm gonna be wearing linen for for eight months. When you see me in just straight for our cottons and linens, you know why I'm prepping my uterus. Okay, at Orlando too, when you just we just saved the scrotum, Can you guys please send us all of the eco friendly underwears and oh, denims are okay, if it's one hundred percent denim, you can wear denim. Okay, it sounds rough on the balls, Okay, well he's gonna wear cotton underwear. But anyway, when you see me in Orlando walking around like a fucking healing couple in all the whites and linens. This is why we're preparing our bodies for the sun.

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Speaker 1: I love it. That's important.

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Speaker 4: And you know, someone told me that you could like plan for a genius baby babe, what you eat before you get pregnant. I mean, even though it's in the I know, it's like a It takes me a slow loaner, a slow learner. So I'm gonna have to start very early on practicing discipline.

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Speaker 5: I mean, it's st a lot of it's it really requires a lot of sacrifice and discipline.

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Speaker 1: I know.

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Speaker 4: That's all I have to practice now, Yeah, before it even takes place. So yeah, then you did raking on me in Costa Rica and you said you felt a lot of male energy in my womb area. So that was very interesting confirming that I need to detox my whole body.

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Speaker 5: Got to start sometime when you can start, Because you've been talking about going on a fast and juicing for five years.

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Speaker 4: I don't know, haven't been a fast. I need to eat salads or something.

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Speaker 1: Well, you are going on a fast, that would be a fast.

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Speaker 4: Detoxing the metals, the heavy metals.

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Speaker 1: First step.

00:07:26
Speaker 4: I need to DM that man who has the remedies he's probably gonna make me pay him. But they just do some research. How was your d this morning?

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Speaker 5: It was great, top notch good, ten stars, frost to two thumbs up. It's good.

00:07:47
Speaker 1: Happy International Women's Month.

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Speaker 4: Oh it is, it's it's no, it's International Women's Month. It's International Women's History Month. I don't know if there's any international in it. Actually, I think it's just women's history. I think it's history Women's History Month. I just looked it up. But you know, the last five years we've made up like four thousand new new holidays that don't exist.

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Speaker 5: Well more importantly, Happy seven year anniversary.

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Speaker 4: It's a man of verse seven.

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Speaker 1: What does number seven mean? I feel like that's a really important number. I think that's true. I think you're right.

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Speaker 4: Seven is like a lucky number. Maybe this is the year. I mean, I know every year has been a level up, but year seven, it really genuinely feels like something big is about to happen. I feel like I'm on like the brink of the next a huge leap in Good Moms.

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Speaker 1: Seven and numera.

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Speaker 5: Why are they Why do they keep trying to put Roman? No one asked for Roman seven? The number seven is considered to be a mysterious and spiritual number in association with wisdom, intuition, and creativity. People with strong connection to the number seven are said to be insightful, introspective, and intellectual.

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Speaker 4: So that's us, that's us into intuitive, intellectual, smart, hell smart as hell number seven experts this is the year we level up. I can't believe we've been doing this for seven motherfucking years.

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Speaker 5: I know I can, actually, because my phone will make me stop remembering with all the reminders of all the years this year, literally half of the reminders that I get in my phone every day when it's like on this year five years ago, like bitch's you, and every single year I'm like, we go together, Like every year it's you were Iri, I'm like, okay, we go together.

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Speaker 1: Tell the world we go together. Oh my god. Oh well, I have some apple cider here. Oh my god. Look we're starting our health journey.

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Speaker 4: Right now, sorry, our house journey because no champagne because I'm detaxing my womb. Congratulations, thank you on doing something consistently for seven years.

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Speaker 1: I can't believe it. I've talked. How many episodes is in every year?

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Speaker 4: Like almost fifty we've maybe taken two weeks off what's fifty times.

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Speaker 5: Over three hundred fifty times seven we drank it before because Okay, cheers, Cheers to more years, Cheers to more success, Cheers to prioritizing ourselves, our motherhood, bringing women closer to themselves, unashaming the women, and healing ourselves throughout this process. Committing to sitting in front of this mic and sharing our stories, good bad, and doing it with grace.

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Speaker 4: It feels really nice to be sitting in our studio.

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Speaker 1: Yeah sign. We've started in our in my dining room.

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Speaker 5: For those who are just listening and just joining good mom's bad choices, We've come a long way, and I want to encourage you to just start from the very fucking beginning. Our first episode Sex, Apps and Kids was sitting in my dining room in my old house.

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Speaker 4: I mean, I would say about two hundred of this of the three hundred plus episodes we have.

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Speaker 1: We're sitting in her living.

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Speaker 4: Room, in our dining room, and we like dreamed of having a neon sign have you seen really dreamed?

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Speaker 1: We actually had one, but it was like remember like it wasn't no, it did turn on, it.

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Speaker 4: Wasn't a neon bitch. It was just like those those letters, those plastic leve It had lights.

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Speaker 1: That's more bid had lights.

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Speaker 5: Don't downplay our lights. I don't downplay our sign. But eventually it just burnt out and we never ordered another one.

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Speaker 4: It worked for what it worked for. It's in a lot of photographs. Damn, man, If someone would have told me seven years ago when we started that journey, you know, seven years from now, you're going to be sitting in your own studio in Hollywood Hills with your Neon sign, with your best with your book behind you, completing sitting on fourteen fucking retreats, and a whole lot of other shit, I would have been like, no, I mean I would have and like, I know, but it really feels good to be to to bask in it, to be with a major network, to have done two tours, to yeah, like do it all with my bestie.

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Speaker 5: We worked our ass off. Women are the shit we like, and we did it all while being moms, while being single fucking moms.

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Speaker 4: We did this shit going through a lot of changes, a lot of transitions.

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Speaker 5: I just remember, like sitting I had this vivid memory of us at Niche's house, and us with our laptops while everyone was hanging out and we were like trying to like edit an episode or get it up, and like everyone was like, what the fuck are you guys doing? Like why are you Like Eric and Jamila are always working, Like we brought our computers everywhere, like at the party, damn near at the club, like trying to like get the episode up, edit the things, because we were so fucking passionate about what we're about what we were doing.

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Speaker 4: I remember that, but I think it was we're outside. It was you know what we were We were trying to complete our book proposal, and we could not We couldn't get the introdue. We could not figure out what the intro, like the first line would be. And now it's something really good. I'm gonna read it.

00:13:07
Speaker 1: There you go.

00:13:09
Speaker 5: And if you guys haven't checked out our book, it's called A Good Mom's Guide to Making Bad Choices.

00:13:13
Speaker 1: You can get it on Amazon.

00:13:15
Speaker 5: Or not or wherever you get or maybe not actually, or just google it and buy it at a store that you feel comfortable with.

00:13:22
Speaker 4: Get it's everywhere, but you can get Barnes and Noble. But this is the line that we wrote in our friend's backyard during a party. And I remember this very very vividly. We're probably writing this and getting an episode out because we always have everything we do we have to do simultaneously while always getting an episode out. But this was it, and I remember thinking, oh my.

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Speaker 1: Gosh, this is it, This is it. This is the line.

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Speaker 4: Two moms walk into a bar, one desperately seeking mommy friends, the other on the brink of a breakup, both with tequila in hand. Drops Mike, you we found love by Rihanna. That's how we How Jamila and Erica met seven years ago as new moms. Did they misstype this? It's about two years ago?

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Speaker 1: Is this? God?

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Speaker 5: So it was because we started as podcast seven years We started our podcast seven years What we met?

00:14:12
Speaker 1: Oh before that? Oh wow?

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Speaker 4: Okay, that's how we Jamila and Erica met seven years ago as new moms finding our way. We jumped into motherhood from different places, but with the same goal, get married, break generational curses, and live half happily ever after. Of course, this being real life and all things didn't quite turn out that way. Warning, this is not your typical mommy how to guide in the pages that follow your help you will hear both of our voices and the stories that led us to being good moms who embrace their bad choices. These choices and our friendship have been monumental to our growth and healing as women and evolution as modern day mothers. Through sharing on our podcast radically honest stories about topics arranging from birth and sex to abuse and starting over, we have unlocked the cheat code to combating shame, guilt, and the toxic motherhood complex. But now allow us to tell you how it all begun. Oh, that was what we wrote. I don't know if it was the whole thing with that first paragraph, two moms walking to a bar.

00:15:12
Speaker 1: And we thought we went crazy with that one. We were like, oh and we did.

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Speaker 4: We really killed it with that, because that was the truth for those of you who are just joining us. Erica and I met early on in our motherhood. I think Lunda was like six months five months. Iri was like three, And I mean Erica cornered me in a bar. I was there with my baby daddy. I'll never forget.

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Speaker 1: And I had seen her on the internet and.

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Speaker 4: She was like, you have a baby, right, It won't even know if it was super friendly it was just like, you have a baby, right.

00:15:48
Speaker 1: To the point.

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Speaker 4: I do have a baby. She's like okay, well me too. Did you want to get the girls together? We should get them together? And I was like okay. And it was just like is this high school? I haven't made a new friend in fucking years and I didn't know it was coming. And I was just like i'd seen her on the internet. She was getting engaged. She looked like she was doing that so perfectly and so right. She had a fat ring. I was broke as hell. I was miserable, and she was trying to be my friend. And I was like, hell, yeah, I'm coming over on Monday, bitch. And my baby daddy tried to prevent me from going. He tried to talk shit. He would try to act like he knew you, like, oh yeah, I remember her, Like my baby daddy used to do this thing where he made every woman a whore, a whore, like maybe he fucked her. Like he always try to confuse me a little bit.

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Speaker 1: Even on TV. He'd be like, oh I know her, and like be vague.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it'd be so vague, like Holly Berry. It'd be like Megan Good, like what and he'd be like, oh, yeah, you know she used to get around okay, shut oh my goodness. But even that hangout with our kids, they could barely lift their heads because they were infants. And that's pretending like it was a play date, even though it was clearly a playdate for us.

00:16:59
Speaker 1: Yeah it was. It was.

00:17:01
Speaker 5: People always ask us like, why why did you start your podcast or how did you start it?

00:17:05
Speaker 1: And I was like, bitch of god, I don't even know why.

00:17:08
Speaker 5: I have no idea because podcasting seven years ago is not podcasting now.

00:17:12
Speaker 1: There was literally no one.

00:17:14
Speaker 5: There were no cool podcasts honestly, like maybe The Read and Morbal Decisions and that's about it. It was very white, very nerdy, very murder mystery.

00:17:24
Speaker 1: I know.

00:17:24
Speaker 4: That's why even when you asked me to do it, I was like, I don't know.

00:17:26
Speaker 1: You don't even know what a podcast was, because most people didn't know what. I was, just like a radio whatever.

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Speaker 4: I was just so happy to do something with anyone that was outside of what I was doing.

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Speaker 1: I was just like, yeah, I'm feeling bored. I feel like I need a outlet.

00:17:38
Speaker 4: Well, thank you for saying yes, thank you for inviting me on this journey. And thank you to God into our entity j America for just taking the motherfucking wheel and really saving us on a lot of different like saving us just continuously like showing us ourselves. This journey has really been the most like propelled into my intuition, into magic, into like understanding that my purpose, and to just trusting the process every fucking step of the way. Like just really this has been like a cheat sheet to when you follow yourself and you follow your gut like God follows.

00:18:22
Speaker 1: I mean I think that for me too.

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Speaker 5: And also just like the sisterhood, like how important sisterhood is and how it's continued it's continued to unfold in my life, how women have continued to show up for me once I chose and said, okay, yes I'm going to trust women. And I didn't have I don't I didn't like have a lot of deep distrust for women. But I, like I've talked about this on previous episodes, there was always like a lot of competition in my mind regarding women, just because of how I grew up, and.

00:18:52
Speaker 1: This partnership really showed me that.

00:18:57
Speaker 5: It's not a competition, it's really about seeing eye to eye. And then saying okay, like let's do this together. Collaboration, collaboration, and like this is something too that's recently come up for me too, as I'm like contemplating on like what what do I want to do for me? Like what is what's next for Erica, you know, And I've like thought a lot about like how afraid I am to do things alone and how in the past I have.

00:19:28
Speaker 1: Started things and not finished them on my own.

00:19:31
Speaker 5: And actually I was talking to Ashley about this the other day and miss rights way, and I was telling her how like I've been like really hard on myself because I'm like I got to figure something out on my own. And she was like, well, maybe the power of collaboration is your superpower, and then I was like, yeah, actually I think it is. And I actually like, don't have to do things on my own. And actually I think it's I've proven to myself that actually I am more powerful in collaboration. And I think it's women, like a lot of times we do think that we have to do things on our own in order to be more valuable, in order to to prove something to feel like oh I can sustain this, and like no one can take it away from me because of that distrust, and.

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Speaker 4: I didn't realize it was like could be rooted in distrust.

00:20:17
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think a lot of times too.

00:20:19
Speaker 5: It's like, even coming into this partnership with you, there was a lot of people that were like, oh, you're going to start a business with a friend. That's tricky, And historically I've seen it be tricky. I've even seen it with my mom and her former business partner. And I was like shit, but I didn't listen and I just I just.

00:20:36
Speaker 1: My need for friendship superseded any of it. I think, especially because I didn't know I was starting a business.

00:20:43
Speaker 4: I think that was the saving grace. It's like we weren't very clear that we were starting a business. We were just doing a hobby together. We're just doing something together. There wasn't a lot of thought, is if this is going to be super successful, are we going to touch the lives of millions of people. It was just like something we desperately needed for ourselves, and we just blindly started to follow that. And even when it did start to develop and realize like, oh my god, this is a brand, this is a business, this is this huge commitment and there is this huge like potential. I think we were already so deeply in it together that those negative comments didn't really didn't hold us back.

00:21:18
Speaker 5: Thank God. Yeah no, And I'm so happy that I'm so happy that it hasn't. And I'm so happy that we've been able to persevere through every phase, through every relationship, through every new birthday of our.

00:21:35
Speaker 1: Children, through heartbreak, through just so much.

00:21:41
Speaker 5: You know, and I know that women we have a hard time trusting one another. And it's like, as we step into this new year, and as we step into just the uncertainty of what's happening around us, it's so important, it's so important for you to just begin to do away with that concept, do away with that mindset. It's not going to serve you. You do need women need I need a Jamila, I need my girlfriends. Like literally, my girlfriends have saved my fucking life over and over and over again. It's been women. There's like this, who's this a poet? I think her name is like Rupie, what's her name? Basically with a D. Basically she had this poem where she was like, it's been it's been the it's been women who have been there for me. That have washed my feet and dried my tears and like nourished me and fed me like when when I had nothing and no one, And and that's because we are that's what we do. That's what we're here for. We're nurturers. And not just for men. We're not nurturers just for our families and our children, Like we're nurturius for each other. And so when we allow ourselves to receive from other women, And you know, part of the reason why me and Mila I think even began the podcast was and we share this a few episodes ago, is like you have to be okay being vulnerable in order to open yourself up to other women. Like there's no way that you're going to deepen into connection with with with a new friend or someone that you're interested in starting a friendship with by just having surface as surface conversations.

00:23:21
Speaker 4: Or by allowing like projecting a lot of judgment, Like there has to be a level of vulnerability. And like to your point about like women historically saving women, nurturing women, like bringing women back to life as like I also feel like there's a level of if you can't soften with your girlfriends, if you don't have the ability to soften in friendship. It is very difficult to have a romantic relationship. There are women who pride themselves and not being girls girls and only being you know, like able to be vulnerable with their men. But like, there's there's a certain type of vulnerability that comes with a friendship. There's a there's a there's a healing that happens when it comes back between women.

00:23:59
Speaker 5: I don't care how how vulnerable you think you've gotten with your man. There's no level of vulnerability that you can experience with the man that you experience with women, because there's we share wombs. There's a level of understanding connectedness that no man will ever be able to understand. And that goes on the other side for men as well. Like you can't like and like to your point, like you have to be able to be vulnerable with your female friends, even more so than I feel like if with your with your whatever your love, if that's a masculine energy or whoever it is. But I think that there's no way that you can fully open yourself up to that relationship until you've really opened yourself up to the women in your life in that way.

00:24:47
Speaker 4: Because I think sometimes the women in our life are also like a like a like a mirror to yourself. And sometimes even women who talk like that, like I don't do women, it's like because there's a level of vulnerability they haven't been able to to come to within themselves.

00:25:02
Speaker 5: And there's a map, like there's for sure and for the women that are listening, who are who? If you feel like you fall into that category and you feel like you have like your man, your man, your man, and I'm sure you he's your man, your man.

00:25:11
Speaker 1: Your man.

00:25:13
Speaker 5: How many times, though, have you felt like you couldn't like there was a level of like disconnect in whatever, in something that you've shared, because there's only so much a man can fully understand around your emotions, and so you've had to You've had to shrink yourself. You have to compartmentalize parts of yourself. I don't care how close you are to your man. There's a level of vulnerability that no man will be able to hold space for that a woman can hold space for. And I see that at our I see that at our retreats. I see that in my one on one relationships with my friends. I see that with clients. I think I see that with everyone, you know, Like, I think that the wound that women have with each other is like actually the most important wound to wound to heal in order to be open to romantic love.

00:26:00
Speaker 4: And also I think a level of like openness in order to like birth things Like Eric and I when our wounds linked up. I know that sounds crazy, Like when our wounds linked up and our entity was created, there was a level of like rapid manifestation that we were able to unlock that really made me like clear of my powers. And I think that was only possible in this friendship, like in this female friendship. Of like yes, we were both like blind and leaping into this, which I think was like a beautiful thing. But there was a level of just manifesting without question quickly, and I think we both like kind of like honed in on this, like, oh, we have the ability to manifest anything that we want, and we realized it in you know, community with each other. So I just don't underestimate the magic that can be created and the things that you can birth with the women in your life. Like I recognize that one hundred percent. Like I'm collaborative, I work best in like in collaboration, in partnership, because like I just know that because of you, I would have not you know, like I was really struggling before getting into this space and working alone and just feeling, yeah, like I couldn't stick with anything, like nothing could be like super successful. I just was feeling stuck a lot, and this like something about this relationship just made me like not question shit. Even whether we had like huge ideas, it didn't make any sense.

00:27:34
Speaker 5: I also think, like, as I'm thinking too around this this idea of like how women directly affect how you show up in so many spaces in your life, not just through the romantic one. There's all this talk around, like and it's been an ongoing conversation around like women that want to be softer, right, like soft life whatever. And I think that like women are waiting for men to like provide this environment for them to be soft. But I actually think that I've become softer in the presence of women. I've learned how to soften myself in the presence of women, and that actually directly benefits my relationship. Of course, yes, a man can help support that, but I also think that female friendships actually are so much of the medicine that helps women be soft.

00:28:24
Speaker 4: It's definitely medicine and it does. It does soften you like doing these retreats, like being able to hold other women and comfort them and support them through hard things and just understand the pain that they're experiencing, even if it's not something I've personally been through. There's a level of empathy that I can hold for another woman, you know, in certain spaces that like allow me to soften and be vulnerable and also allow me, like this retreat space has really allowed me to like understand you have no idea what people are going through, you know, like you can, you know, and every day in life we've wrn into people and we're like, oh, she's so loud, Oh this is that? Oh that you know what I mean? Like making up all types of ideas about women, you know, making creating ideas and completely fictitious lives like I did about Erica, you know, I thought, you know, and being able to be in a container with women where we can really be vulnerable gives you the opportunity to be like, oh, you're human like me. Everyone is just human. We're all dealing in these things, but we're very rarely in spaces where we give each other the opportunity to take off the mask and be like, oh, I understand you're going through something. Oh you did get on my nerves, but I understand, Like we're just different.

00:29:38
Speaker 1: I understand you're excited.

00:29:39
Speaker 4: Like there's so many it's so easy to repel someone first and make up your mind about someone. You know, Hey, it's not my cup of tea, it's not my type of bitch. I have never left a retreat and been like, that's not my type of bitch.

00:29:53
Speaker 1: Never, never, you know.

00:29:55
Speaker 4: And that's a lot solely because we have six days to like really find out who those people are and what they're going through and give them grace. And like there's always something that I see of myself and someone else. And so it's just like it reminds me when I come back to like the real world and when my first mind is to do shit like that, I'm like, no, not doing that, you know, And like even giving that to my daughter, right, Like, that's not how we act, that's not how we conduct ourselves with other people or other women, because we're all going through some shit.

00:30:25
Speaker 1: It's true.

00:30:26
Speaker 4: Unluckily me and Erka were going through some shit seven years ago and start this podcast.

00:30:30
Speaker 1: It's true terrible breakup sadness.

00:30:36
Speaker 5: That's why I so look forward to our retreats because I feel like in between the retreats, like I start to harden.

00:30:42
Speaker 1: A little bit, get a little crunchy. Yeah.

00:30:45
Speaker 5: And we actually have a retreat coming up you guys in April.

00:30:49
Speaker 1: It's our first retreat in Jamaica.

00:30:51
Speaker 5: It's our Flower Goddess Retreat aka Ganja Goddess. So this is for our smoking mamas or just women. Our retreats are not just for women, but it's sort of for our smoking women.

00:31:02
Speaker 4: I'll have a retreat for smoking women. You don't have to know, yeah, you don't have to smoke, you don't have to smoke with This one specifically is going to be very four twenty friendly because and it's we're going to be in Jamaica on fucking four to twenty.

00:31:14
Speaker 5: So we have a few more spots left. We actually were sold out of this retreat, but then a few women had to cancel last minute. So if there's anybody listening that wants to join us in Jamaica on April seventeenth through the twenty second, we have a few spots left. We are offering a discount code because we know it's last minute, so make sure you click the link and check out the Flower Goddess Retreat and use code Ganja.

00:31:39
Speaker 4: Especially the East Coast girlies. Okay, because you're close, you're right there. Lights are cheap and you might as well come pull up and put your bathing suit on because I know it's cold as shit in the East Coast, and come smoke one with us and celebrate for twenty and like a.

00:31:53
Speaker 3: Beach front villa. We're literally right on the water's.

00:31:57
Speaker 4: Waking up to the ocean, the Caribbean ocean, and waking up to breakfast blunts, waking up to yoga and chiefing, probably some fine men and some good ass food.

00:32:10
Speaker 5: Most importantly, most importantly jerk chicken, most importantly fine aess men.

00:32:16
Speaker 1: And chicken. She can wait a men? What more can a girl asked for? Chicken? Wait a man?

00:32:24
Speaker 4: It's sisterhood. It sounds like happened to me. I'm there. I'm really excited about about the Ganjia Goddess Retreat. I just started doing my goddess initiation with Goddess Jesse from the Sweet Love Sanctuary, so I'm like on this ninety day journey with a cohort of women doing the same thing, and like we're learning about like the African like African spirituality and the African systems of spirituality, and it's it's really interesting because there's a lot of things that mirror Tantra. And I know Tantra has African roots, but you know, last year, if you saw our African Ancestry episode, I found out that I was Oruba. So like learning through my good sister Jesse and also just through her initiations and like all of her mentorship has been really really cool. And like I rarely take time to go within, but I realized, like in order to go to the next initiation in any cycle of life, there requires like a lot of inward reflection. And we're doing like a lot of ancestor work. We're really talking about like taking care of our altars, healing past trauma, healing church trauma, and a lot of people experience that.

00:33:36
Speaker 1: It's very much what we do.

00:33:38
Speaker 4: In our retreats, but with an African spirituality like perspective, perspective and like voodoo, and so I'm really excited about like sharing in that process. I'm gonna share about it in discord. And but you know, I just feel like like the spring as a time of like blooming and blossoming, and like we hibernate all winter and we rest and now there's like another version coming. And this is year nine, and I'm my my year of numerology is also nine, So I feel like there's another year nine of what like when you add up all the numbers of your birthday? Oh oh, you're everybody has a number? Do you know your number?

00:34:13
Speaker 1: Really?

00:34:14
Speaker 4: How do I figure out? I think I thought you were seven? But maybe I made that up?

00:34:20
Speaker 1: You mean like my life path number? Yes, I think it's six? Six? Okay, yeah? Six?

00:34:24
Speaker 3: And the nine?

00:34:24
Speaker 1: Yeah baby say so.

00:34:27
Speaker 4: I just I know I don't know something about this spring, particularly as we approach the spring equinox. I'm feeling a birthing that's taking place. I mean, like not of my actual womb right now, but like of me. And I'm excited about that. And I feel like this like this retree is a it's in Jamaica, black people. I'm really really excited. I mean, we like to travel where we see ourselves, but I'm just excited. I'm excited about this year. I feel like and are you seven year anniversary? We have big things coming.

00:34:57
Speaker 1: Big things for sure?

00:35:00
Speaker 4: Do you speaking of things?

00:35:01
Speaker 1: Do you want to roll back with Backwood? I do you know what?

00:35:05
Speaker 5: I I brought some weed.

00:35:08
Speaker 1: My dad gave me that weed. Oh, shout out to Miles. He actually came by my.

00:35:12
Speaker 5: House and well, we love this is like, this is how we used to get it an old day.

00:35:19
Speaker 1: You're aging ends, this is that, this is that pack. That's that pack for my dad.

00:35:24
Speaker 4: He was like, I'm just come over and give you a hug. And I was like, oh my, okay, that's new and it's different, and you know, it's so interesting. Like, I find it more difficult to be as soft with my family as I am in like our friend spaces or at the retreat, and I'm trying to work on that, like delivering the same amount of softness in my closest personal relationships as well. Do you find that like with like your parents.

00:35:51
Speaker 5: I feel like I've gotten very soft with my mom over the last year. I almost feel like I'm like mothering her in ways that's been healing for you. I think it's been healing for both of us. She's softened a lot, which has been really nice. I feel like I was I've been waiting for this because my mom also like she's she's someone who has had to be in the masculine forever. It feels like, I mean, I know, since I was born, like having to take control of you know, everything, everything, and then working in a male dominated industry and having to prove herself and and then you know, leaving that industry makeup. My mom was a professional makeup artist my whole life, and then moving into being a business owner and you know that again too. So I think that I've also seen my mom spending a lot more time outside, which is very rare I've met. My mom has never been like outside a girl. No, She's been working literally like every day in my life. And so with the shifts that's been happening in her life, I saw her at uh.

00:37:04
Speaker 1: Where was she at last night?

00:37:05
Speaker 5: Verse I was taking selfies in the mirror with her friend.

00:37:09
Speaker 1: I'm in the bathroom. I was like, okay, mom side, and she's been hanging out with a lot of girlfriends, and like I said, like I see the softening happening with her is like she's finally allowing herself time to do it because as women too, we make excuses. I don't have time. I don't have time for that. I don't have time for joy, I don't have time for pleasure.

00:37:27
Speaker 4: Enjoying the pleasures always last on the life.

00:37:29
Speaker 3: It's gonna be it's gonna I've been, I've done it before. It's gonna be whack, like you know, just making up before you got there far.

00:37:37
Speaker 4: You know, I'm happy you said that, like pause on your story. I want to just say, for a for women that make excuses about having female friends, but mostly for women who make excuses about having fun and just being free and letting go and just going to play like I'll say that aside from the fact that me and Eric I would literally have to have shit to talk about every week for fucking six years. In years we were so clear about fuck it, let's have fun like a we wanted to have I think we're both experiential bitches and we'd like to have a story. But then when you add the cherry on top that we actually have a we actually do have to have a story.

00:38:16
Speaker 1: We have to we have got this case study. It's a case study.

00:38:19
Speaker 4: Every time the man of bad choices we've made and decided it was a case study.

00:38:23
Speaker 1: Do you know him?

00:38:24
Speaker 6: No?

00:38:24
Speaker 4: Okay, I's just getting his car. Let's just get in.

00:38:29
Speaker 1: Wait is this what you did last time? Okay, we have the true Did you break it up?

00:38:32
Speaker 4: Like?

00:38:33
Speaker 1: Yeah, our true wraps? Should I put it in here?

00:38:35
Speaker 4: No, just break it up. It's gonna crunch right down.

00:38:37
Speaker 1: Baby.

00:38:37
Speaker 4: This is so you don't have to give like get too much of a heady high. You just crunched down.

00:38:42
Speaker 1: How much should I use? Like half? Yeah, that's a good half. Half a little half. Yeah, let me just just crunch it in there some AMR.

00:38:51
Speaker 4: Oh my god, I remember we needed ASMR ASMR with backwards true Baby. I don't know why this is the a SMR. Remember those two episodes we did of ASMR.

00:39:09
Speaker 1: I really never loved it.

00:39:10
Speaker 5: We bring back Look, okay, first of all, to be like, gave me so much shape for wanting to do ASMR. It's like, what are you talking to, stupid fucking SMR. I'm like, they're just gonna be a hit. Just watch and we put it out and.

00:39:20
Speaker 1: People are like more, we need more, we need more, good mom's ASMR. We need a whole fucking channel. Didn't we do too? We did?

00:39:26
Speaker 5: We did Harold Bell's, and we did Cereal and then we did the chicken wings.

00:39:30
Speaker 1: Wait, no, that was Harolin. We did tacos, those nasty taco those.

00:39:33
Speaker 4: Were actually if you haven't checked out our ASMR series on YouTube, what the fuck are you doing? It's actually the funniest shit we ever put out. It's actually I didn't know it was gonna be so fun and so funny, but it actually I was really inspired by our kids. It was our kids kept telling us to do it because I don't really get the type of ASMR, but wow, wow, it was really fun. And now we're doing a SMR blunt rolling.

00:39:56
Speaker 5: Okay, so now this is the blunt is actually going inside of the joint.

00:40:01
Speaker 4: So this is so we take the true rap, let me use it like it's grava, and we put it inside of the paper. So it just opens you up just a little bit for lightheadedness, not too much.

00:40:10
Speaker 1: It makes it like a little heftier smoke. Yeah, it's more significantly more weighted weighted smoke.

00:40:18
Speaker 4: Okay, sorry, i'd ben interrupt you about your mom.

00:40:20
Speaker 5: No, no, I was just saying that, like I've just watched her soften lately, and I think part of that is life kicking her ass a little bit. And then also and then her I think her also connecting more with her friends, like making time, knowing that she needs to go outside, knowing that she needs women, not just her husband, women to like help her, to like confide in. Like there's only so much you can talk to with a man about your feelings, your emotions and what you're going through, you know, and so talking to other women, especially women that have gone through something, that are going through something similar to what she's been going through, Like there's like a level of I guess, vulnerability, of humbleness, all those things that I think women provide a space for. And so it's been really nice to see her do that. And so to answer your question, I do I am soft with my mom. Our relationship has come a long way. Even if you go back and listen to like our episode we did with her like three four years ago or so, like our relationship then is so different than it was now, you know, like even then, like she was definitely in her masculine and even in the episode, you know, my mom's a boss bitch, you know, and like, but shit, she's tired.

00:41:43
Speaker 1: I mean, you can you can only wear the wear the badge so long, it's like sometimes you can put that shit down. It's exhausting.

00:41:50
Speaker 4: It's exhausting, and even even as to our parents, you know, it's exhausting. It's exhausting holding up holding it like the weight of whatever you think that you've made them out in your mind, and like, yeah, and time is of the essence, you know, like we're not promised every day, We're not promised forever. This is a temporary human experience, and just remembering to soften with yourself a but also like and your girlfriends, but soften with the people that matter most, with your kids, with your parents, because just like the same speech we just gave about not knowing what other women are going through, is like you sometimes don't even know what your parents are going through and like and how they're being affected, because you know, I was feeling myself wanting to judge my dad a little bit last week, and then he called and like just randomly came over, brought that weight and asked for a hug, and I just had to be like, let me stand down, let me not be judgmental, let me not make up a narrative in my mind, and just stick with it and let me just let him come over and give me a hug. The hug it was nice. I probably could have been longer, you know, when I've functioned very much in the very like we're loving but not super touchy. So it's kind of like, now you come, everyone give me a super long hungg.

00:43:01
Speaker 1: It's interesting.

00:43:02
Speaker 4: But you know, my dad's pretty loving. But just a reminder to everyone listening that hug your parents, hug your friends. Sometimes the peoples we know the most and the closest to us, it's the hardest to give that deep stranger love.

00:43:22
Speaker 1: True.

00:43:24
Speaker 4: I just looked over at you with that chain on and that hat. It's like, run DMC.

00:43:31
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm throwing it back. I gotta throw it back, like I gotta throw back merch on. We don't even sell this one anymore. We have to run this back.

00:43:38
Speaker 5: Actually, this and this should've had since like that's cute. I was like twenty two.

00:43:41
Speaker 1: It kind of looks like ours, But I know, I was like I did. I was like, was this what we were inspired by? That's my mind.

00:43:47
Speaker 5: This is by this old brand called dope. It was like really popular once upon a time.

00:43:51
Speaker 1: I was like, everybody might still even have it. But it was like they had a store on Fairfax. I like that netted.

00:43:56
Speaker 4: There was a whole moment look at us kind of kind of matching again with knit and where.

00:44:01
Speaker 1: Are you ready for this? The final smoking of this backwood insert of Shinen Blunt enjoyed backward sprinkle. Oh, speaking of which, you guys, we have a new segment called high Thoughts. That's where we get high and we say thoughts. Meila, you said that you had a high thought you would like to share this week. What is your high thought of the week? My dear, Okay, let me hit that.

00:44:35
Speaker 4: Hold on, let me hit that so I can really get into my high thoughts I thought I had this week. Honestly, I've been having this thought for some months now, I just didn't have It's for our ASMR community.

00:44:55
Speaker 1: Well let's do it. Let's do it for the old the old days. This was a let's not do that. I was gonna do that, but I'm not going to do that. Just do it. It's not short enough. That's kind of long. No. Wait, when you do like that? Yeah, I'm afraid. Wait but do you put it in your mouth? Right? Yeah?

00:45:14
Speaker 5: You could do it real stoner moms.

00:45:18
Speaker 1: Here, it's called a shotgun. We're real stoner moms.

00:45:23
Speaker 3: That was bad.

00:45:24
Speaker 4: That wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.

00:45:26
Speaker 1: I thought it might burn my tongue, but we succeeded.

00:45:30
Speaker 4: Okay, So my high thought of the week was that I know this has happened to everyone listening because it's happened to me four million times. Have you ever been talking about something and then suddenly, of course it pops up on your phone?

00:45:42
Speaker 1: Every time that happened the other day, you're baring more.

00:45:45
Speaker 4: But lately it's been happening like in real life. So I mean, I know telepathically, if I'm missing someone or so what I haven't talked to a long time, I can just think of them subconsciously and pat by and passing, and I know that I'm putting out the signal into the world and they're going to give me a call. I'm gonna run into them. But recently I've come upon a high thought that might very well be true. Scientists, give me a call. Tell me what you think.

00:46:10
Speaker 1: I feel like.

00:46:11
Speaker 4: Because our bodies are essentially computers, and we're wired, and there's electricity, and energy is actually an energetic component that like frequency is real, just like my voice right now is emulating through millions of speakers and millions of cars and homes, and you're receiving my words in my tone and my essence. I feel like those actual frequencies are electrical and because when we have those thoughts and they're powerful and you're honed into your your power, it actually does equate to being frequencies for the phone to then transtrans like compute and produce whatever it is. So at first I thought it was because I was talking about it there I was in a certain area definitely, though there's of course when we talk about it, they're dea listen to our conversations. I don't know if you've seen that Black Mirror on Netflix recently, but sometimes I'm just thinking about shit and it comes up on my phone. And it started to happen so often to me that I was like, are you fucking kidding me?

00:47:13
Speaker 1: God?

00:47:14
Speaker 5: Do you think that this is also just like humans and our evolution of attunement to our environment? Like because because obviously, you know, the technology in its form right now didn't exist and you know, even one hundred years ago, but because we're constantly evolving. Our energy and frequencies are just attuning to everything around us.

00:47:34
Speaker 1: I think that's true.

00:47:34
Speaker 4: But I also think that whoever created the phones and the technology and the powers that be have known that this is possible, and that's why they've accustomed us to be so deeply, deeply addicted to our phones, to the point where if it's not in hand, you're literally like a little bit frantic. And I think that because we've made it, we've made it. They've learned this technology and they've made it so clear, and now they can get our information easily. A because we're talking to everything, including Alexa in our house into all our conversations because we're fucking idiots and we give them front keys to our house. But mostly also I think it's reading our fucking brain waves.

00:48:11
Speaker 1: Wake up. Is that good or bad? It's bad.

00:48:14
Speaker 4: But also we're more powerful than you know, so we switch our thoughts. We got to switch the matrix. We gotta just not let the AI. And I also think I also think that's why meditation is really important, because then you have to hone into your clarity and your intention. But I also think that AI is like us in the future. I think AI is like like, just like AI replicates human nature. I feel like if we keep like leveling up, we're just going to turn into like robotic people. Absolutely, So it's like like AI is our future human selves.

00:48:51
Speaker 1: Anyway, that's my high thoughts for the day, Ladies and gentlemen. I'm a scientist.

00:48:54
Speaker 4: Okay, doctor Jimilla Matt, I'm already here.

00:49:00
Speaker 1: First, you're heard here first. I'm a scientist.

00:49:02
Speaker 4: Energy is real.

00:49:03
Speaker 1: Our computers are communicating with our brains.

00:49:06
Speaker 5: Be careful what you think to put a calendar, just like you put a calendar reminder for taking your aud out. Let's put one in the future of twenty thousand, two thousand and forty.

00:49:15
Speaker 1: We'll revisit this notion.

00:49:16
Speaker 4: And that's only fifteen years I know. And yeah, it is moving quick. We'll be typing with our brains. Okay, Actually, let's do a test. Let's see if you could talk telepathically. Right now, I'm going to think about something. I'm going to think about a memory that we have. Okay, I'm going to think about a memory that we have. Okay, it's very specific, but I'm thinking about it.

00:49:41
Speaker 1: Yeah, shut up, Swear to God. Swear to God. Wait. Wait, Is it us in the car when we're talking. No, it's funny. Is our drug melt done? It's during the drug melts down.

00:49:56
Speaker 4: It's specific. It's more specific than it's during the drug meltown. But something specific happens.

00:50:02
Speaker 1: The swishing of the pants, the swishing of the pants. God, it is the swishing of the pants. Oh my god. The hairs on my arm really happy too. Oh? I love you, I love you. That is yo.

00:50:33
Speaker 3: Man.

00:50:34
Speaker 1: I just want to say one thing. Hey, listen to that episode. It's one of two. That's the thing.

00:50:40
Speaker 4: We've gone to Coachella with each other multiple times, three times.

00:50:43
Speaker 1: I think this is a specific trip. Is a second time, and this is the second time.

00:50:48
Speaker 4: But there's a specific moment where we take too many drugs at one time. But we don't realize we've been trying to get to Coachella all day.

00:50:56
Speaker 1: We went crazy when we got there.

00:50:57
Speaker 4: We didn't realize it's the last show of then we've been trying to get there so long.

00:51:01
Speaker 1: We did so many drugs. We walked in.

00:51:05
Speaker 4: We watched this epic show the drugs hit and then everybody starts leaving, leaving.

00:51:10
Speaker 1: And this and one mine.

00:51:12
Speaker 4: There's one guy he actually pastor fucking weed, pastor fucking weed, paster, fucking weed.

00:51:17
Speaker 1: This nigga says he's gonna take us to a Jeff like a Jeff Campbell, Like no, no, no, Jeffrey Campbell. No, it was like a shoe whenever you matter, some white guy. He's going to take us to this guy's party.

00:51:28
Speaker 4: And he starts going so fast, and he's wearing these pants.

00:51:32
Speaker 1: He was wearing these fucking swishing pants, you know, those workout works.

00:51:35
Speaker 4: And me and Erica are trolling balls rolling, We're like following him, and he says, and then suddenly we can't find him.

00:51:47
Speaker 5: I think we fell out laughing for like five minutes, and then we looked up and.

00:51:50
Speaker 1: He was gone. No.

00:51:51
Speaker 4: I think we fell out after we realized he left us.

00:51:53
Speaker 1: Oh my god.

00:51:54
Speaker 4: The fact that we spent three different years at Coachella, We've had three hundred different experience those three.

00:52:01
Speaker 1: Wow.

00:52:01
Speaker 4: And I just telepathically told you about this man's swishing pants and you got it.

00:52:06
Speaker 5: Okay, So maybe that's at least that's just human electricity, which I'm happy that that is prevalent and still even exists, bitch, because they've done everything to try to separate us.

00:52:17
Speaker 4: You know each other, but you know, when you're a kid and you like to make tests to see if you're actually as witchy as you think.

00:52:22
Speaker 1: Do it as an adult.

00:52:23
Speaker 5: I mean, we do it what we did with our kids in cost Rica. I mean I think, I mean, it's not surprising. It's surprising that we believe it's surprising, right. I feel that converbal of communication is like the first form of communication.

00:52:34
Speaker 4: It's the most the most primal, the most primal and opponent. That's why I the languages are not the same no matter where you are in the world. You know, if someone's scared, you know, if someone's hurt, you know someone's celebrated.

00:52:45
Speaker 5: It requires so much trust and presence, you know, like to be like let's oh yeah, let's just see that's crazy.

00:52:55
Speaker 4: Wow, when you're right when you said in Costa Rica that you did that raking on me and that you could tune into my my energy so easily. It's like we spend so much time together. We sleep in the we've slept the same beds, so for so hundreds of times, hundreds hundreds this time we've had separate beds in Costa Rica, with separate rooms and it was like.

00:53:18
Speaker 1: God, that's weird. What are you doing? What are you doing?

00:53:22
Speaker 4: But we're grown women, you know. But yeah, like being in each other's energy. Sometimes, even when I know you know my energy, it's almost like when you know somebody else's energy. So it's just kind of like you're out there, you're exposed.

00:53:37
Speaker 5: Yeah, I do because my energy is potent, so it's always I'm always out there.

00:53:40
Speaker 1: I'm always exposed. Yeah, it's very clear.

00:53:44
Speaker 4: Anyway, those are my high thoughts.

00:53:47
Speaker 1: Powerful, Thank you, thank you.

00:53:49
Speaker 4: If anyone has a thing for information about our electrical brains.

00:53:52
Speaker 1: Give me a call. Yeah. If anyone has any high thoughts to share, please please send them.

00:53:56
Speaker 4: They don't have to be that philosophical either.

00:53:58
Speaker 1: Just dm us do your high thoughts when you're high.

00:54:02
Speaker 4: I'm gonna pick a tarot card.

00:54:04
Speaker 1: Pick one.

00:54:15
Speaker 4: Oh wait, didn't you tell me you had a bad choice this week?

00:54:18
Speaker 1: Bad mom?

00:54:19
Speaker 6: Not a bad mom, but a bad mom.

00:54:22
Speaker 5: So good.

00:54:27
Speaker 1: I'm living.

00:54:30
Speaker 5: Oh god, I did have a bad choice this week. I'm gonna share now I'm high, but yeah, I probably should. I need to get it off my chest because it was absolutely astonishing the bad choice that I made. I was, you know, I realized that I really have to work on my distrust for white people and like and rapid anger, you know, like I have.

00:54:57
Speaker 1: I have a lot of beautiful.

00:54:59
Speaker 5: White friends that I know and love, but there's an otherness that I put white people in, and I like, I don't they do that with us as well? And I don't want that either. That's like, you know, that's what racism is, but I think that I think that anyway. Basically, I was having a moment and I went to yoga.

00:55:21
Speaker 4: It was six thirty, so you knew you were having a moment before you got to you.

00:55:24
Speaker 5: So I'm gonna tell you. I was like, I need to go to yoga. I've been doing two days. I've been doing like these crazy workouts and so I was like, I need to stretch my body.

00:55:32
Speaker 1: I'm gonna wake up.

00:55:33
Speaker 5: I'm gonna leave Iri at the house because I'm gonna be gone for an hour and I've been like testing out what that feels like. And you know, but I have my phone with me, like I always try to keep it nearby just in case she calls me.

00:55:44
Speaker 1: So I went to yoga, and.

00:55:48
Speaker 5: Right before I went in, I was looking on Instagram and I had seen like that they had just banned well read Black Girl's book the Department of Defense, because they're banning black books.

00:55:59
Speaker 4: Oh, from the school or just in general in general.

00:56:03
Speaker 5: No, yeah, and so I just was like, you know, this is also that this speaks to the power of frequency, because that disturbed me. I was just like, Okay, this is scary, and like, am I gonna just look at this and then walk away and forget about it? And this is what happens, Like we just keep seeing things. We're so desensitized that we see things and then we just walk away from it and then happens, and it happens and happens anyway. So then I was like, okay, this is this is why you need to got to yoga, So just.

00:56:32
Speaker 1: Go in there.

00:56:32
Speaker 5: And so I got in there, I brought my phone, I put it over that. I put the towel over the phone just because I knew that I wasn't about to have my phone in there. And I was like, I'm a mom, so fuck you, Like I gotta make sure my kids. Okay, I'm not going to I'm not gonna like talk on the phone.

00:56:46
Speaker 1: I just need to make sure that i'm you know.

00:56:49
Speaker 5: So Anyway, I'm doing yoga and t heated, so it's also hot. It's challenging. It's like vulnerable, vulnerable positions like you're tired and sore diired.

00:57:01
Speaker 4: It's sixcited in the morning, you showed me, I am.

00:57:03
Speaker 5: I've been just dressed out, okay, And so anyway, like thirty minutes in, I like take the towel off and I go look at my phone and I see that I think she didn't actually text me with she camm and he was saying something very sweet, and I literally just tapped it and then I said okay, and I'll like I was looked over, and then I was like in the middle of a downward dog and I was about to like turn into this pose.

00:57:25
Speaker 1: I think it's called like wild thing or some shit, and she.

00:57:28
Speaker 5: Literally came into my face. I was like, there's no phones here, ma'am. And I was like, whoa was it the teacher? Yes, it was the teacher, but it was so aggressive and her big, old, aggressive ass white face angered the fuck out of me.

00:57:41
Speaker 1: I was just like, was she big or she was no witch? She was just white telling me what to do.

00:57:47
Speaker 3: And I was angered because I was already like you were sensitive to the world, and.

00:57:51
Speaker 1: I just was like, I was, you know, I'm not saying this is a bad choice, this is a bad anyway.

00:57:59
Speaker 5: I was like, whoa okay, bitch, Like okay. I was like, I was so caught off guard. I was like, am I gonna second? I was like, let me just continue, Let me just continue. Your tripping is fine, bitch. No, I was like I felt the energy and.

00:58:13
Speaker 1: Me so did you. What are we gonna do?

00:58:15
Speaker 4: But at that point, move your phone, like, go take it outside, put it the towel back over.

00:58:19
Speaker 1: I put the towel back over it, and I continued on.

00:58:21
Speaker 4: And I was like, so she said something to you, and you ignore her, you keep going.

00:58:25
Speaker 1: No, I didn't ignore her.

00:58:26
Speaker 5: I had already put the towel back over my phone. She had walked away. She just like abruptly came to tell me this shit and then like moved on. So I was like, okay, So then I kept going, but then my spirit just wouldn't let me.

00:58:36
Speaker 1: Bitch. I was just like, am I really about to stay in this fucking class right now?

00:58:39
Speaker 5: I was like, this bitch got in my fucking face, are fucking kidding me?

00:58:43
Speaker 1: Bitch? In a vulnerable PiZZ Do you have no coup? It was do you not even know? It's six thirty?

00:58:48
Speaker 5: It's hot as you're in my face testing and.

00:58:52
Speaker 1: You're telling me.

00:58:53
Speaker 5: So anyway, there's a lot and I couldn't. I couldn't complete it, and so I rolled up my mat and I walked out and she was like, is everything okay? And I was like, no, it's not. So then I left and then I went to the bathroom and I was like, why am I so angry?

00:59:09
Speaker 1: How many minutes in did you leave? After she did that?

00:59:12
Speaker 5: Like?

00:59:12
Speaker 1: How long had at what point?

00:59:13
Speaker 5: Was I was thirty minutes into the class? Like I'm in it, okay, that's why this was so like abrupt, And I was like, really in it, you know. So anyway, I go to the bathroom and there's like the reception is in there and she's like twenty one was also like white, like just like minding her fucking twenty one year old business bait okay, just being adorable.

00:59:35
Speaker 1: And I was.

00:59:36
Speaker 5: I come out of the bathroom, She's like, oh you okay, can I get you anything? And I was like, cause, like it's only one class, right, so if I'm leaving it like they're like, I'm like, actually, no, I'm not okay, and I just start crying. I just start fucking crying. But I was like putting on, Like I knew that I was putting on. I was like, I want you to feel like shit, And I was like.

01:00:03
Speaker 1: This is the bad choice.

01:00:05
Speaker 5: I was like, I have a family member, and I see you, and I am her only lifeline and I just needed one fucking hour to come here. It's six point thirty in the fucking morning. And all I did was tap my phone, like she needs to be careful. I'm triggered. I'm triggered. I literally said I'm triggered.

01:00:25
Speaker 1: I'm not kidding, not you caring it.

01:00:28
Speaker 5: I literally carrying the fuck out of her, babe, I'm wait so much so that I was like, damn, bitch.

01:00:34
Speaker 1: Like you got it. You're killing this right now. But so then I couldn't get out of it. Then I like really felt like it was real. That's what it feels like to be pathologically yes. I was like, to be real, you have to feel like it's oh yeah, no, no, it was real. It was real. I was like shaking, what the sock is wrong with you?

01:01:01
Speaker 5: A lot of things apparently bitch. Anyway, Yeah, so you start shaking a lifetime. I'm like, I don't know if there's I'm like, I'm here all the time. I never bring my phone in. I don't even know if there's signs that say you're not supposed to your phone in, but I'm in there's an emergency happening. And it's just like I realized that, like I'm not supposed to, but just I feel like she could have not gotten straight in my face the way she did and it triggered me. So anyway, she's like, I'm so sorry, and I was like yeah, and then I just started crying more.

01:01:33
Speaker 1: And then I was like I'm just gonna go. And then we walked out and she goes, there's the sign and it was literally like it was kind of high. It was kind of high.

01:01:42
Speaker 5: It was like up on top of the door, like you really had to look up to see it. And she's like, it is kind of high, and I was like, yeah, yeah, a sign for giants.

01:01:53
Speaker 1: Okay. Yeah.

01:02:00
Speaker 5: So then so when I left, Okay, so I left obviously, and I got in the car and.

01:02:05
Speaker 1: I was like did I just do that? And I was like damn.

01:02:10
Speaker 5: And then I felt like shit most of the day and I was like damn. I was like that, my spirit is not built for this. I'm sensitive. I was like damn, like why did you do that? And then I was like, why did you do that? Was there something is there? Like it felt like it wasn't mine? It really did ancestry felt like it wasn't mine, or like no, it felt like I wanted them to like really feel bad. It wasn't about like my white ancestor. It was actually my black ancestor. That was like, you are stupid bitch, and I'm gonna do what you do to me, and I want she felt.

01:02:45
Speaker 1: But then I was like, they don't.

01:02:46
Speaker 5: She probably told her and the girl was like, wow, she probably felt justified in whatever the fuck she did. But anyway, either way, it was a bad choice.

01:02:55
Speaker 1: Okay, I know better than that, but something in me needed to get it at and I did. And you know, I'm gonna explore that more if you wanted.

01:03:05
Speaker 5: Karen, just Karen the of the story black people can care into Okay, black people can get reverse Karen.

01:03:14
Speaker 1: I was.

01:03:15
Speaker 3: I felt that, I felt I almost got reparations a little bit.

01:03:26
Speaker 1: Why would you say black people can care in. It's the reverse Karen.

01:03:29
Speaker 4: The reverse, not the reverse Karen reverse reverse.

01:03:33
Speaker 1: Yeah, anyway, that was if you're don't judge me. Okay, I'm not perfect anything, you know, I'm with it. You know we only have a couple. Everyone actual in nuts sometimes.

01:03:47
Speaker 4: Just so you know we're recording this, it's still February. Get your Karen on.

01:03:51
Speaker 1: Everybody gets your Karen on? What get your Karen?

01:03:55
Speaker 5: So you're living in the past right now, So go ahead, babe, it's technically still February.

01:04:01
Speaker 1: Oh my god.

01:04:03
Speaker 4: Reparations and whatever way possible, even if the yoga instructor might lose your job.

01:04:09
Speaker 1: So you're never going back to that. No, I'm going back. Did you get a free course or anything? No? Nothing, but I was because I should you. Now I need to email the corporate.

01:04:18
Speaker 5: It's because class past. They probably don't know my name to go in there and identify myself. Oh, they're gonna find this episode and.

01:04:26
Speaker 1: Sue me.

01:04:29
Speaker 4: No, try to get try and get what I try to get everything you can. We're gonna move on.

01:04:34
Speaker 1: To to Taro. Now ridiculousness.

01:04:51
Speaker 4: The temperance is who it pulled, its balanced moderation, patience purpose.

01:05:00
Speaker 1: I remember your purpose, But you don't go to jail. You got shit to do.

01:05:02
Speaker 4: How you're not going to jail for cure inning kidding, Mareen Calabassas, Woodland House. Yeah, I feel like, yeah, I'm gonna act a little snotting. I'm gonna be a little bit of a bitch. I'm not going to be too crazy because it's like, God, there's so much responsibility of being a black woman, because then there's like, oh my god, if I'm a black woman who does X, Y and Z, then I'm doing too much and I'm playing into the stereotype. But these whoors do too much consistently. Oh my god, I told Erica. But since we're on white people doing crazy shit. This week, there was in the supermarket and this old white lady groped my braids like this, look over there that way you're looking at the lettuce.

01:05:54
Speaker 1: Is this your hair? Is this all your hair?

01:05:56
Speaker 4: I said, yes, I was wearing a hat. She's like, oh, thirty years of hair.

01:06:03
Speaker 1: I said, thirty six years of hair. All of it's your hair.

01:06:06
Speaker 4: Then she decided to.

01:06:08
Speaker 1: Pull it. I said, hey, no pulling, she said, I'm just talking to her like a little baby.

01:06:12
Speaker 4: I was because she kind of When I looked at her, actually I saw a little baby, and I was like, I could this could go very wrong. I'm like, she doesn't. It was also a day where lots of things were happening in the world and we're in an interesting climate, and I was kind of thing.

01:06:26
Speaker 1: Actually.

01:06:28
Speaker 4: Right, yeah, that was Actually I was feeling a little enraged, and that's why I went to the black flea market because I was on maybe around black people. But then I saw like two white people there and they were wearing like a kitten heel and like polos and a white like.

01:06:40
Speaker 1: It wasn't the whitest people.

01:06:41
Speaker 4: It was like Lower Manhattan, New York, kitten heel wearing white people.

01:06:45
Speaker 1: Why did you wear that?

01:06:46
Speaker 4: Like, at least be cool when you whit.

01:06:51
Speaker 1: I know, I wasn't whites.

01:06:53
Speaker 4: I don't want to be organic, no GMO, no baby hairs, super white, no BBYL, no nothing.

01:06:58
Speaker 1: I know, I really tell you waves.

01:07:01
Speaker 4: I appreciate a regular white staying in her lane, regular nails, no baby hairs, Alabama barkers. So yes, I agree, but I mean I understand. But in that moment, I was something told me, this is an old lady, and maybe She's like, has dementia and I could see her son.

01:07:22
Speaker 1: She's like, my name is Gabby, so I gab a lot. I'm just joking with you.

01:07:26
Speaker 4: I'm like, okay, Gabby, I wonder.

01:07:28
Speaker 5: How many times Gabby's been popped she got she got a good one that day.

01:07:33
Speaker 1: I could have popped her. No, no, then I wouldn't. I'm saying you wouldn't you want to do that.

01:07:37
Speaker 5: You're on the shade room now, men, you know.

01:07:43
Speaker 1: And at the end of it, I was fine.

01:07:44
Speaker 4: I took a moment and I said that could have been so that I could have taken that completely wrong and I would have had to walk around with that with that energy. I literally saw it happening in slow motion in Orlando. Was like Gabby was thinking it was the nineteen fifties child, but I was. When she left out the market, I was like, bye, Gabby, and I was like, yeah, thankfully with me, not some other Buck girls.

01:08:04
Speaker 1: Are not going to wave the Gabby goodbye on her.

01:08:06
Speaker 4: Way out the sun looked embarrassed.

01:08:09
Speaker 1: Anyway, That's hard.

01:08:10
Speaker 4: The temperss. Sorry, we just needed one one episode to get it out. Temperance is the card for bringing balance, patience, and moderation into your life. You're being invited to stabilize your energy and to allow the life force to flow through you without force or resistance. It's time to recover your flow and get your life back into order and into balance. This card calls you to remain calm even when you feel stressful or frantic. Maintain an even temperament, and manage your emotions. You have learned to keep composed and stressful situations.

01:08:43
Speaker 1: This is for you.

01:08:44
Speaker 4: Little things don't get to you thanks to your seemingly abundant source of patience.

01:08:49
Speaker 1: You respect what the fuck?

01:08:52
Speaker 4: Your respect for balance and tranquility is what will help you achieve and experience fulfillment in your life. Temperance asks you take the middle path, not to when you reverse. Don't go republicans, and accommodate all perspectives. Now is not the time to be highly opinionated or controversial. Stand down bit, keep a cute give me here, give me here, be the peace marker. Marker, be the piece of.

01:09:22
Speaker 1: Glow and actually says peace marker.

01:09:27
Speaker 4: It says to be the peacekeeper and take a balance and moderate approach, avoiding any extremes, Include others and bring together diverse groups of people to create harmony and cooperation. It's telling you to bring diverse groups of people to create harmony and cooperation. By working together, you will collectively leverage the right mix of talents, experiences, abilities, and skills.

01:09:48
Speaker 5: Thank you, Yes, I know that. That's why I was so shaken afterwards. I was fucked up after bitch, it did me more harm.

01:09:56
Speaker 1: I was harmed. Okay, I harmed myself. It's good that you went the I left option just to see how it felt. You know, sometimes you go crazy sometimes that's what I kind of felt like.

01:10:05
Speaker 4: I was like, let's see what happens when they do it.

01:10:10
Speaker 1: It's like over here crazy. I didn't like it. I was like afterwards, I was like, I aged you a little.

01:10:18
Speaker 4: I felt shame. I was like, that's why my women are not aging. Well, they're caring all over. It's aging them. Oh my god, did you see that woman Karen in the valet? Do we talk about this already?

01:10:28
Speaker 3: Oh god, god, baby, oh bitch, I just call those those tears, those fucking tears.

01:10:36
Speaker 4: I told Jason to her lashes.

01:10:37
Speaker 1: They think it's a joke. That's what I'm saying. Everything is a joke.

01:10:41
Speaker 5: She should have she should have been And that's okay. And that's okay.

01:10:45
Speaker 1: That has to do. I can't let.

01:10:47
Speaker 5: Other people's experiences fucking you have.

01:10:51
Speaker 1: You have to be like Buddha. I know, and sometimes I'm not. I'm still working bit I know.

01:10:55
Speaker 3: I'm just just saying I'm still working on it.

01:11:00
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. Get on my MS home, my mama, Mom. I didn't go with la. I'm doing all of my bitch running off.

01:11:11
Speaker 4: You gotta be like Buddha, be like But that's it. That's this week's this week's affirmations.

01:11:17
Speaker 1: Be like Buddha. B be like Buddha Beach. Be like Buddha, bee like Buddha. Kama Beach.

01:11:24
Speaker 4: Maybe this is like our affirmation music, like what's up beach today? It's time to be like Buddha Beach.

01:11:31
Speaker 3: Wake up, put your hands on your heart, take a deep breath, and say, I love God. Don't you worry about a thing, straight up, don't worry about a motherfucking thing. Caring for beach, West Coast Beach. It's West Coast all day till wed I e. But every day we're gonna be in pleasure.

01:11:47
Speaker 1: I shay, I shay to the real homies and to the real dogs. Have a good day, but not those fake niggas. You heard, Peace Blood, that's our new ship. Okay, that's the first one. That's the first one.

01:12:01
Speaker 5: Morning Affirmation with the West Coast, West Coast Morning Affirmations.

01:12:06
Speaker 1: Morning Blood.

01:12:07
Speaker 3: Oh you would create my bad morning crep Christmas.

01:12:16
Speaker 5: Oh my lord, Okay, you know I go go pick up my kid.

01:12:21
Speaker 1: I'm hellal Okay, we love you. That's it.

01:12:26
Speaker 5: Happy anniversary, Happy anniversary, Beach, sweetity. It's been beautiful, psychic, happy women's history months, happy women's all the time, fucking year, forever and ever.

01:12:36
Speaker 1: Congratulations your beach and you created all this shit, make.

01:12:40
Speaker 4: History every day by doing what people told you not to do, by taking up space, by writing your story, by telling the motherfucking truth even when people tell you it doesn't matter. Trust us. Whatever the fuck you're going through, big or small, stupid, funny, exciting, sexual, any iteration of yourself matters, and if it is your gift to tell about it and whatever art you leave with the world, So remember that all month.

01:13:05
Speaker 1: We love you.

01:13:05
Speaker 4: Thank you for joining us. Subscribe review bitch, because you just listened to this whole motherfucking thing. And you could just that's a small favorite.

01:13:13
Speaker 1: Please that, please, thank you, that's so much. We love you. See next.

01:13:18
Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm linen so good. Can't you tell? I went through a drought.

01:13:22
Speaker 1: That's until I found out, Well may my have been known?

01:13:25
Speaker 6: Art that used to be broken tail now got the blues in to like Beyonce just now throat shot or pop in his cow.

01:13:31
Speaker 1: We're in our voices.

01:13:32
Speaker 6: Patriarchy kept it in the box, so it'sploids. Women put the pee and powers, so what's pointing to? They want me to be good, so I make bad choices. Bad mom, not a bad mom, but a bad mom.

01:13:42
Speaker 1: Gitter's in put cannabis in their bath.

01:13:44
Speaker 6: Bomb walked in bosses cap and I blew his cat ball tipe dog.

01:13:48
Speaker 1: Now I'm immune to the cat call.

01:13:50
Speaker 6: Her being no waisted straight to it like a dollar sign. Mother rent the number and so it it's like a water sign where you're rent the winter essential will when the summertime.

01:13:58
Speaker 1: I do what all they know? When I need to run it by