Don't Judge Me

00:00:00
Speaker 1: Once upon a time there was a good old traditional housewife, and she couldn't. She cleaned and cared for her children and the man of the house, and of course she didn't talk back. She was both obedient and soft by nature. She was a good woman who always made good choices.

00:00:17
Speaker 2: We're good Mom's bad choices, two single mom who said, but the patriarchy shared all their bad choices and sound out. They weren't so bad after all, we're experts, overshares and your new besties.

00:00:26
Speaker 3: Sit back and enjoy the ride.

00:00:28
Speaker 2: I can welcome back to good Mom's bad Choices. I'm Erica and.

00:00:35
Speaker 3: I'm Mila, and it's Wednesday, bitches. Welcome back, Welcome back, welcome back.

00:00:45
Speaker 2: How you doing. How have you been doing? You've been integrating back from the jungle?

00:00:50
Speaker 3: Are you okay? You know, kind of I'm integrating back from the jungle. Yeah, one day at a time, one step at a time. I'm feeling good. I've been in the house mostly. I went out twice and it was a little scary, but yeah, I'm trying to just get back into the routine of motherhood, which is you know, shocking and you know all and wifehood in americahood, how about you? How are you feeling? Yeah?

00:01:22
Speaker 2: I mean it was I had like a pretty like hit the ground running situations. When I got back, I had to deal with like child stuff, personality differences, uncleaned homes, emails responded to, just opinions that nobody fucking asked for, and.

00:01:48
Speaker 3: Yeah, unhealthy food. Yeah, that part I was like, maybe I just want to eat. Yeah. Managing motherhood is like being the manager at a costco and there's just so many There's like all these team members or I don't know, I feel like I'm just like the sole supervisor at Target or something, and everybody's coming with me with their problems, and I just I didn't sign up. I did. I did sign up? You did? I did?

00:02:16
Speaker 2: I did?

00:02:16
Speaker 3: But sometimes I'm like, am I good at this? Is this my calling?

00:02:22
Speaker 2: You know?

00:02:22
Speaker 3: I used to think that's a people person, but I think it's I'm a people person at a distance. This time, me and Erica went to Costa Rica for our fourteenth retreat alone, no kids, no, no nobody, It was just us and it was really nice. We're going for two weeks and you know, I just like when you're only in one or one other person's energy or like a small bubble of people, and then you go back and you're like deeply integrated with your whole house. Again, it's a lot, it's a lot. It's a lot.

00:02:56
Speaker 2: Yeah, No, I get it, Yeah, which is why I mean no offense.

00:03:03
Speaker 3: But I'm glad I don't.

00:03:04
Speaker 2: Have anyone else living with me besides one person, because two would be a lot to manage. And I know one day I'm heading towards that direction of perhaps letting another human live with me besides the one that came out of my pussy.

00:03:16
Speaker 3: But I feel like I thought I was ready for that, and I don't think so. It's a lot.

00:03:22
Speaker 2: I don't think so. I think I really enjoy, Like, yeah, I really enjoy when Iri goes away and then I'm alone for real. I think that I might really understand the two household thing, or even Sheryl Lee Rose Ross's Ralph's not Ralph's Stross living in different homes situation, you know.

00:03:46
Speaker 3: Shout out to Aaron Marie Claire, who I don't know how many years ago told me that I would do best in a relationship with separate housing, and I was like, what is she talking about? She doesn't know me and she does. Okay, Uh, what is it called personality design?

00:04:02
Speaker 2: Human design?

00:04:03
Speaker 3: Human design? It was on point with that, okay, because I'm like, I am the type of bitch I need multiple houses, Like go to go to the Costa Rica house, I'm going to Brooklyn. I just like I want to have space. And I just also think I don't know if it's about like getting older and just recognizing I think as you get older as an adult, you're like, we have families because that's what we're trained to do. But then you're like, am I ever going to be alone again?

00:04:28
Speaker 2: No?

00:04:29
Speaker 3: No, you're not.

00:04:30
Speaker 2: This is it? Well, you know, we did talk remember when we were like real like single moms in the beginning, and well, I mean we like were partnerless, and we said that we actually felt bad for married people.

00:04:42
Speaker 3: Now you're going to be a married person, so good luck, bitch. We did say that. We did remember.

00:04:50
Speaker 2: That we were talking about married people, say how you're married? Oh so sorry, like you get no breaks, none, you.

00:04:58
Speaker 3: Know, seasons, seasons, seasons, I do. I'm not I'm mourning that, but there is a part of me that's like, oh my god, am I ever gonna just be alone? At my house again for five days. Probably not, you know, I mean it's very rare unless like I don't let it go out of town and I don't have the kid. But yeah, I think as you get older, time alone is it's worth a lot. It's valuable. Yeah, yeah, it is.

00:05:28
Speaker 2: It is for you guys that are just tuning in on YouTube or really on YouTube. If you're watching this episode on YouTube, this actually is a YouTube live. We do one YouTube live a month, and they're kind of sporadic like us because water signs we just be flowing. So technically supposed to be the third week of February. It is the third week of February, so we did do. We're doing well so far. So just check in on the third weeks of each month and we'll probably have a YouTube live at some point during that week.

00:05:56
Speaker 3: We can't commit to a day because although we are partnered or not very committed.

00:06:01
Speaker 2: So if you join YouTube live, we'll answer your questions live, we'll talk to you live. I see a lot of you guys in the chat right now. High Tribe, High Discord Tribe, High YouTube Tribe. Hi, Jess Sharlee Ralph, Yes that's her name. I got it wrong on the Cherylie Cheryl Lee, Rol Cheryl Lee, Ralphie Rossick.

00:06:20
Speaker 3: That's disrespectful.

00:06:20
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, hey, Dianni, Dianni, I really do enjoy my alone time, but I don't want to live alone. I just need a day or two at home while he's at work. That's fair. I need like days alone. I actually really need days alone.

00:06:38
Speaker 3: I do.

00:06:39
Speaker 2: I really enjoy that time. I don't really get them that often, but when I do, it's very nice, very bad nice.

00:06:48
Speaker 3: Could you? I was, who's the bitcher threw her hair down for Punzel? Puzzel Punzel. I'm like, the bitch you through her hair? Yeah, I'm like at the live show where she took she threw off her.

00:06:59
Speaker 2: W oh no, no, no no, I said, Thumbolina and I was like, that doesn't seem right.

00:07:05
Speaker 3: Fern Gully noa, oh my god. This is my favorite character because she was small like me, but not some bollina bit.

00:07:14
Speaker 2: Do you remember fern Gully. I really flecked with fern Gully. She was like she was a fairy. I got jungle fairy.

00:07:20
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, now I remember. I almost forgot about her. I was like, I like Sumbillina that he used to have a My mom bought me like the black version of the Little Book when I was little, and I really like that. I don't know they were trying to be progressive. Then my parents are very progressive, not your parents. That means society. I grew up very very very very pro black in my household, very malcolm X, pretty hardcore, and I still stand by that. Hence why my middle name is a Soda. I had to leave the recording because Orlando got locked out because it was very important that we smoke weed. That's true.

00:07:58
Speaker 2: You know, I'm supposed to be going on a weed detox, but I don't think I'm going to join my boyfriend on this journey right.

00:08:04
Speaker 3: Now, So so's start today.

00:08:09
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, boo, it's just not gonna happen today. Maybe I'll try tomorrow.

00:08:14
Speaker 3: I might need to join your boyfriend on a weed de talk. It's not gonna happen right now. But why what's going on? I just feel like I should take a break. Oh, then do it? Yeah, I know.

00:08:25
Speaker 2: I went for a run this morning at five point thirty in the morning, because with who wish you can? Because he you know, he he doesn't really these. Oh no, let me open a fresh pack. Yeah, he doesn't run because these are all open because we can't stop smoking backwards OCD. Why would we open.

00:08:49
Speaker 3: Every single one?

00:08:50
Speaker 2: Every single one has been opened. Okay, these are a little crunch crunch Okay, well, I know, do we have papers because I know another.

00:09:00
Speaker 3: You have a backwood paper towork? Yeah, like you could just roll it.

00:09:03
Speaker 2: I have one in my backpack.

00:09:04
Speaker 3: Then you sprinkle the back You sprinkle it in like grava is a grava with a V or B. The New Yorker is somebody help a bitch out the grapa leaf graba. Yeah, and you just use it like that. Oh okay, you know what I'm saying. Okay, how many ways can you use the backwood? Four hundred and twenty seven ways? Okay, Well let's do it. So you went running at five thirty in the morning.

00:09:30
Speaker 2: I went running at five thirty in the morning because you know, I've I'm just I've been I've talked about this before about just like body confidence, body issues, body dysmorphia in the I talk about it in my in the book, how I've like gone through I wouldn't say like severe eating disorder. But like I've definitely like borderlined eating disorder of like starving myself, overeating, stress eating, gaining weight in college, I like bought an eight ball of cocaine to lose like twenty pounds? How many I did? I bought an eight ball specifically for my diet. So that's what you told your twenty one year old stuff.

00:10:14
Speaker 3: I need it. I just needed I was in the Actually I was nineteen.

00:10:17
Speaker 2: And I had gained my freshman fifteen and I'm so stressed out about it that I said, I know, I'll buy an eight ball my my grandma's mis send me four hundred dollars for Christmas.

00:10:27
Speaker 3: And I'm going to spend all of it on cocaine. Wow, what year was it where a ball was four hundred dollars? What in the nineteen year old money? Do you have? New York's expense? It was a Christmas gift.

00:10:37
Speaker 2: I spent my whole Christmas gift on cocaine from your grandma, from my grandma.

00:10:41
Speaker 3: Sorry, Tommy, did it work? Yeah? But I should have.

00:10:44
Speaker 2: I could have died because I was doing coke and then running on the treadmill.

00:10:48
Speaker 3: Oh, my dad, there reminds me one time. One time I was in college and I didn't coke. Like it was like nine o'clock in the morning. I called my homegirl and she's lived around the corrin of form Me. I'm like, hey, I feel so good. She's like, what am I? I think I want to run over? Not run over. We're never going for a job to your house. She's like, you've never jopped. I was like, this morning, I'm doing it. I hung up the phone with the fuck to sleep. I was like, sigm I'm just high. She's like, I know, wow. So anyway, don't you cocaine and do it?

00:11:20
Speaker 2: This is that we're not This is not a good idea. Okay, I was nineteen bad idea. I know, for the people listening, it's so crazy black women doing cocaine. I know, live in la if we live in Hollywood, it's not even about Hollywood or la you know whatever. You know, we have a we have deep issues with that, and as we should. However, I do not support the use of cocaine. Us do it as your own discretion. However anymore, it's not just for metal, just for medical announcements.

00:11:49
Speaker 3: Anybody watching, we highly do not recommend using cocaine as any type of dietary supplement. We did not stand by this message.

00:11:57
Speaker 2: This was a bad no no because then because I was before that it was xenadrin. I don't remember every anyone remembers xenodron, but it was a diet pill my mom was taking, and so in high school I would sneak them and that was crazy, Like I lost a weight, like crazy time.

00:12:12
Speaker 3: How long were you taking the fucking xenager? Like a week? And I lost like ten pounds.

00:12:18
Speaker 2: Anyway, my long journey of loving my body, I've so I've gained in the last year in my I think it's like happy weight, but I've gained almost twenty pounds And I, yeah, I know this because I weighed myself the other day and I said, oh, yeah, okay. And I've just been like having to like really love myself through it. And I'm really proud of myself because I've done a lot of work on my body and I'm not perfect. Like I'll mention my weight and I'll you know, try to you know, I try to talk myself off ledges. But I realized, like it's the weight is correlated to my mental health, which correlates to my how much I'm exercising. So if I'm not exercising, my mental health is not well, which then directly impacts obviously my body. And so I was like, I have got to like get my shit together because mentally I need.

00:13:09
Speaker 3: To be well.

00:13:10
Speaker 2: I just had a beautiful experience Costa Rica. I was I felt really good there. I came back and I was like feeling myself like trying to crash and burn in like this like hamster wheel of all the work that we do. And then also like talk shit about myself in the mirror, and then like I found myself like commenting to my partner about it, and then I was like, I don't do that. I don't need him to, like I mean, of course, like it's it's nice to have your partner validate you and say, like.

00:13:35
Speaker 3: You look beautiful. That's so great, Like you're so great. It doesn't matter what size you are. Goddess is worth thick blah blah blah. Goddesses are sick? Is that what he said? That was?

00:13:45
Speaker 2: Actually that was that was something I saw on Instagram yesterday, which then I was like, yeah, that's right. They were thick, So I'm thick right now, because my mother fucking got it.

00:13:53
Speaker 3: Goddesses were also petite goddesses came in all sizes and shapes like some Bellina.

00:13:58
Speaker 2: This is not about you.

00:14:00
Speaker 3: Listen. If you don't want to do body positivity for everyone, then I don't even know who you are.

00:14:04
Speaker 2: I'm just saying. I'm just saying I would say there's probably more, you know what, thick girls in the world worry about their body.

00:14:12
Speaker 3: Me just say I'm the fucking thing here. Okay, as we're talking about body positivity, I'm so sick and tired of the thick im sickies thinking they could say anything they want to petite bitches because they think we have it all and we do, but we also have issues too. Okay. We live in a world where Kim K and all the rest of these big booty bitches made it big and cool to be sick and have that aunt ass and big titties and blah blah blah, and all the rap songs are like blah blah blah. Thick them, thick this, thick them, think that whatever nobody says, oh look at that petite girl. You know, we had that one solemn they said, petite thick, But I don't appreciate you telling us that we don't have any issues. Maybe we didn't do it. I say, you don't have no issues. I said, this isn't about you. You know, because we didn't do eight bowl of cocaine for our twenty first birthday for our diets does mean shit. You know what happened When I was in eighth grade, I try to eat a lot of McDonald's, and in college you try to drink a lot of beers, and the beers did help. But the point is you are how God made you, and you're perfectly perfect, and everybody the grass is always greener on the other side. And I'm realizing this even with aging.

00:15:18
Speaker 2: Okay, I agree to all of those things. However, I would say that people who are thicker and bigger and whatever it is, generally the information, the meatia, all those things, they torment us a lot more than they do tiny petite women. So yes, tiny petite women. I'm sure you guys have your own set of issues wanting you know, bigger asses, bigger hips, whatever, the fuck, being able to gain weight, all those things. I'm sorry that you guys go through that. I'm very sorry. However, I would say Historically, figger women have a harder motherfucking time.

00:15:55
Speaker 3: Okay, this is not an argument of thicker. You just made it an argument. I just said, don't sleep under the carpet. The body dysmorphia of different shapes and sizes of women, I get. I hear that a lot. I'm just saying I've had a lot of rude comments that I didn't ask for about my body type and my body size, like oh my god, you're so skinny, dub bitch. So I'm just saying that kes this is a place for women, and we're in the babe cave. I just made that up, that we're just here to embrace all the shapes and sizes because historically, different sizes are in at different times. Okay, so you're gonna roll the bland. No, I need you to roll it because it's a paper now.

00:16:38
Speaker 2: Okay, so is gonna work. So you're gonna break up the backwood. This is our new technique. Okay, Okay, I hear you. I understand. But all I was saying. What I was also getting to was this morning, in the mirror, I was doing my body work exercises, and I was looking in the mirror and I was thinking how much like women need to And actually I fucked up because I was actually gonna wear something different today. I totally forgot in my fucking exercise. I was gonna wear something that made me feel really uncomfortable like that, I that would make me have to highlight the things that I feel uncomfortable with, because then I'd have to face it and be like, I love myself no matter what, because like, my belly is doing this thing here, guys everyone you know, you guys know if you guys have this little floup boss situation. Yeah, this little thing. I know, Jamila doesn't know anything about this.

00:17:29
Speaker 3: Wow, this is feeling really targeted.

00:17:33
Speaker 2: And this is the kind of goddess stomach.

00:17:36
Speaker 3: Okay, well that's what we're gonna have to. We're gonna have to Pasi right there.

00:17:40
Speaker 2: This is the goddess belly.

00:17:42
Speaker 3: I don't know what meme you saw this week, but you're gonna have to chill with the goddess belly. Okay, this belly also carried a child, you know, And I'm let me you want to talk about I wore something that I generally wouldn't wear because I'm sitting down and this is like I don't like outfits that really show my skinniness. And I licked this out a particularly. I usually don't wear one piece fucking stretched suits. Look, I feel like, wait, which way is it? Very? Oh?

00:18:10
Speaker 2: Wow?

00:18:16
Speaker 3: Like very like we have my Vagiina's big though.

00:18:20
Speaker 2: Okay, well then okay, so then me and Neila standing next to each other. The other day we went to a fucking call her daddy? Of it?

00:18:27
Speaker 3: Why we went to a call her daddy?

00:18:29
Speaker 2: Event you guys? Okay, speaking of which, God damn all her art her audience are twelve. She's on when her audience are twelve. Yeah, And anyway, I made you took a picture together and she she's like, Fumblina.

00:18:43
Speaker 3: I forgot about that picture.

00:18:45
Speaker 2: She was like Fumblelina, And I was like right in front. Look, I was like, god damn wait, we.

00:18:51
Speaker 3: Gotta put We're gonna please GP. We gotta put the picture because I look super small. Also, we because we are such different side, we're kind of like.

00:19:01
Speaker 2: Xpree have to photograph certain ways that Okay, I'm sorry, I'm just it's falling off.

00:19:06
Speaker 3: What are you gonna do? Just take it off? Can I unplug this for five seconds? No? Yeah, okay oh now that her microsoft perfect, So yeah, fuck not fast enough. Eric and I have had to learn to really pose an accordance with each other because if I am in the back of her and she's like on a different like on one step above me, then like the proportions are not proportioning she's taller than me. So we've actually really learned to and that's another thing, you know what, like maybe God put us in this relationship because it's like a it's a constant mirror of like we are totally different looking women with totally different body shapes, and so sometimes I'm looking at pictures, I'm like, oh my god, this bitch and her titties and like, my titties are all small, and like this is very fucking annoying. And we bring Lingerie and she's all thick EM's and kirby, and like we're constantly, constantly we could be in comparison of each other because we have totally different body types. But what good would that do for our fucking mental health or our fucking friendship? But yes, that picture was can we zoom into the picture? We're do not need to put it here?

00:20:22
Speaker 2: Here?

00:20:23
Speaker 3: You can't we see Okay, wait, oh god, I just got to get closer. I don't know if that's how you do I don't know if that's how you do it. You got to come back. Anyway, are you pulling up the picture?

00:20:33
Speaker 2: Long story? Because you said did you peopleant to put it in. I just want the people on Live right now to see it at this very moment. Anyway, long story short, love on yourself. I'm still in the process, still like I've come a long way. I've come a long way, but I still have work to do. I think it's like especially because of like I think of Instagram and just just everything, just comparison is the devil, literally, and I think that so many women we are so hard on ourselves. We starve ourselves, we overeat ourselves, we stay inside. We don't wear the thing. And that was a thing too. That was like why even subconsciously I didn't do it, but I told myself I was gonna wear the thing that actually makes me feel a little bit uncomfortable so that I can just be like, bitch, it's fine, you look great. So this is just a message to you to put on the thing, even if you don't go outside, just put the thing on.

00:21:29
Speaker 3: Look at yourself in.

00:21:30
Speaker 2: The mirror, touch your body, talk nice to yourself. Send nudes to the Discord group chat so that we can pump you up. If you aren't in Discord, join Discord. It's a great space. It's a great place for you to just be yourself and send nudes. Send news that you don't feel comfortable sending to anyone else, send them to us. And I'm going to send you mine because I was having a hard day today.

00:21:58
Speaker 3: You know, yesterday last night I had put on some lingerie to like do something, film something, and I just left it on. I was cleaning the house and like full blown stockings, and I was like, I like this. Sometimes it requires that you put on the sexy shit and do nothing, like literally just clean your house. It just puts you in the energy of like, oh I kind of look motherfucking good. You almost forget. You have to like train yourself. Put on the lingerie, feel the silks, feel the lace, put on the motherfucking garters and the stockings, and just be like I'm that bitch, you know, like if you were trumping around all goddamn day and sweats and shit, it's gonna be hard to feel yourself and even as a newdiest. There's been seasons in my life where I knew I was depressed because I was wearing a lot of sweats, and I'm like, bitch, if you don't put on some actual fucking freakom dresses and come out of this fucking deep depression, sometimes the anti depressant medicine is just the freakom dress and the lingerie. Like sometimes you have to like fake it until you make it, and like even if you don't feel your greatest, you know, just do what you gotta do until like put on some lipstick can get there.

00:23:02
Speaker 2: I also blame my boyfriend for making me gain weight because he likes me and my moo moos, like that turns him on, Like not lingerie. I've put on lingerie and he's like, I don't really go a fuck about this. I don't care about this. I actually prefer you in like big T shirts. And now I have no I don't I don't wear I barely put it on. So I'm just wearing moon moves around the fucking house, just like floating through like fucking Auntie, not putting on the lingerie for like a mental check, Like bitch, it doesn't fit anymore. It's been a while.

00:23:35
Speaker 1: Ho.

00:23:36
Speaker 3: You do need to have a mental check and you need to do it for you. Fuck these niggas for real, forar real. It's just like, yeah, it's just for you, even if you live alone, you know. Anyway, that's my spiel.

00:23:52
Speaker 2: So what are we doing here? Can you gut us through this backwood experience? This? Ok?

00:23:56
Speaker 3: This new so here, I've crushed up the black wood. This is how you recycle your backwoods. If you opened every fucking pack for no goddamn reason and they got a little stale, you just crunch it up. This is the eco friendly backwood. Crunch it up so that you can still use it and that you get a little spliff and it doesn't have to be too much. This is like if you're not wanting to go so tobacco and you don't want to get like, you know, someone's could do that lightheaded feeling. You want a little lightheadedness, then you just crunch up a little backwood like so, okay, Saltbee, Orlando, where's my where's my camp?

00:24:33
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, oh yeah, the tobacco the backwood, Saltbee, This is backwards back would Bay.

00:24:39
Speaker 3: This is just a little sprinkle if you want to just a little sprinkle on your joint, that's what you do. So here I have the weed. Here, I have my sprinkle of spliff tobacco from the backwoods, and voila.

00:24:50
Speaker 2: Okay, well give it to the paper master here. So what I'm gonna do now is I'm going to actually, I'm going to get a filter because this is very I don't trust people that don't use filters and their joints. I believe that it's very unsanitary, and it's lazy and you're wasting the cannabis because you're not gonna stop it all lazy.

00:25:11
Speaker 3: I don't know how to do the filter. I barely can roll a joint.

00:25:14
Speaker 2: So what you do is you roll it up like so, you place it here in the joint like so, and then you just do a little.

00:25:27
Speaker 3: And then you roll it just but like that, and.

00:25:30
Speaker 2: Then I guess I'm just I mean, I'm just gonna mix these up together right here. I'm gonna mix up the backwood with the cannabis.

00:25:41
Speaker 3: We're fucking backwood chefs, okay, we are, We're the backwood chefs. I don't like the Martha Steward are backwards. Okay, I'm making a recipe book, four hundred ways to roll a backwood. Okay, do you call me anyway?

00:26:02
Speaker 2: Speaking of Costa Rica, we had the privilege of really rapping for La and Costa Rica. So we watched the Super Bowl at a little dive bar on the beach next to the water, looking up at the stars, shout out to Johnny's and actually, so before I was actually getting like I was in like a spiritual session moments before this happened.

00:26:28
Speaker 3: Mila.

00:26:30
Speaker 2: I told her.

00:26:30
Speaker 3: I was like, Okay, I'm gonna be done.

00:26:31
Speaker 2: You have to come get me afterwards, and I like finished my session. I text Mila, I'm like, did I miss it? I just knew that I'd missed the super Bowl. And she's like, no, there's eight minutes left. There was eight minutes. I'm coming to get you. Be ready. So she left the bar to come get me, like zoom date. I heard her like I'm over there like pulling my cards, like oh yes, devotion this She's like, bitch, take a picture.

00:26:55
Speaker 3: We got to go bust it in, Like are you ready? What a hammock?

00:26:59
Speaker 2: I was like, don't get like a coconut water, don't get you.

00:27:03
Speaker 3: At halftime, if you're not gonna be ready, like we're shrifting gears. You went from spiritual massage to fucking cach and I.

00:27:08
Speaker 2: Wasn't sure how I was gonna feel because I just had this very like like transformative experience that I was about to go like be with a lot of people and like turn up. But actually it was exactly what I needed, exactly what I needed. So we got there right in this in the nick of time, and Kendrick came on and me and Mila like immediately like we're.

00:27:28
Speaker 3: On ten everybody. First of all, they almost didn't put the halftime show on. Someone was like okay. They asked me if we wanted to play the music or play the halftime show, and I was like, what are you talking about? I totally five people like excuse me, I'm from I'm from LA. So we're here for the halftime show. And then like at halftime, I know, she was really irritated with me. I was like, hey, don't forget halftime. She's like I know, like I know, bitch. I'm like, okay, well don't act like you know, turn the fucking turn the fucking TV back on, bitch. So I was like giving her the death stair, Like, if I missed any one minute of this, we're gonna have a fucking problem with Costa Rica Baby. So me and Erica, I'm pretty sure Me and Erica hyped the whole bar.

00:28:03
Speaker 2: We did not not pretty sure. We were like people were standing around looking stupid. We're like we were, and I was like, why is no one dancing?

00:28:10
Speaker 3: You would have thought it was our cousin. Okay, cousin Kendrick was about to fucking perform because we were hype as ship. We stood up, we were looking at other people like.

00:28:18
Speaker 2: Kendrick, Oh give me those matches, never mind Orlando Kendrick.

00:28:24
Speaker 3: So he performed we fake crypt walk for however long. The performance was all fourteen minutes. Okay, I really had to.

00:28:34
Speaker 2: I had to like really bust out my fake crip walking because there was a time in my life when I because I'm you know, I'm Valley girl, but I'd forced my mom to drop me off in Englewood. So then I was hanging out with like like the baby Crips. I think we really crips. They were like the cousin of the crips. Yeah, they were like the Crips brothers and like little brothers and like little sisters. But they gave me a duitorial. But it was a very long time ago. So then when I came to I tapped in. I felt like, Okay, did I make them proud?

00:28:55
Speaker 3: Did I do it right? I didn't care. I was just going like I didn't guess what. Nobody touched Rita knows what the fuck it is. They think I'm doing it I was. I was like, you don't know shit. And it was great. We went fucking wild. I was getting chills at my spine and getting downloads and I.

00:29:14
Speaker 2: Was like what.

00:29:17
Speaker 3: And I felt really like activated from that performance. And then I told our homegirl Dutch. Shout out to Dutch, who actually came to a retreat two years ago and then moved to Costa Rica. I told her, oh my god, I had so many downloads during this halftime performance, which aka downloads for the spiritual community are like times just messages from the from the divine universe that you know, if you're in the healer community, you know, I got so many downloads, Like, because I'm so many downloads, I was holding space for them. And then I got so many downloads, so many downloads, So she was like, that's interesting that you say that, because you see that lady behind us. It's like an old lady, like a very old lady with gray hair, just sitting in the back of the bar. She's like she we said that two years ago. This psychic on the internet said that Kendrick would perform at the super Bowl in two years and she said that black people are going to get some kind of superpowers. And I was like, I believe her. That is true. And so it was just a divine alignment that Kendrick activated my superpowers. In Costa Rica while we were repping hard for the West Coast and like we were like sweating, we were dripping sweat. And then suddenly when everybody else saw us repping for our cousin, suddenly it was hit their cousin too.

00:30:28
Speaker 2: Yeah, they didn't even know the lyrics. They were just dancing, dancing. Wait side note, this is good. I kind of fuck with this.

00:30:35
Speaker 3: You like that. It's like, oh, it's like a diet Backwood. It's like a little tobacco, not too much. It's going to like give you a little bit lightheadedness. Yeah, we had a like that was an amazing trip, a really amazing trip. It was really important for Erica and I to go. I think, do this trip alone. We've been like in the last few years. We've only had our business three years, the Good Ripe Retreat. But oh yeah, yeah, yeah, you like that. That's that real. That's that real nigga hit. It's a real nigga shit, you know, speaking of crips and ship. Yeah, you know, you know, you know, back in the day, my baby daddy said he was a blood. He's a fucking lie. What the fuck are you kidding me? Oh no, I'm not.

00:31:15
Speaker 2: Are you serious?

00:31:16
Speaker 3: Oh yeah?

00:31:17
Speaker 2: He was where from where?

00:31:18
Speaker 3: From the valley village? Baby? He was wearing red, he was listening to he was listening to the game, you know, was bopin' but what was bop and butt? What's boping? Blood?

00:31:28
Speaker 2: You know?

00:31:28
Speaker 3: Because you can't say any Please don't make me hate him more than I already do. No, I'm serious. He said it was a blood okay, because he probably had some blood cousins, some distant ones, because he's super from the valid Sorry, what's up? Oh my god, I would pay. I probably have some pictures perfect. He was talking. You know, when your date a girl from the valley and she don't know no better. You're just talking ship, you know. Looking back, I'm like, nigga, use a lie. He was a mother fucking lie. Okay, with your English teacher mom in the suburbs, with your white picket fence, can always be them. Why do you niggas want to be gangster so bad?

00:32:11
Speaker 2: Some sort of weird masculinity that they feel like and women have, like, uh, have like surrendered to it, because even our like are we contribute to the toxic masculinity format a lot sometimes, Like I'm like, well, I think a gangster somehow, like uh, creates this illusion of like protection and and honestly, like a loyalty to something, Like there's a loyalty to something. There's some sort of initiation that you've gone through. Like these words, these like these ideas and these concepts I feel like are things that are attractive to women. But like, when you get to the nitty gritty of what it actually is, it's not it's not that.

00:32:46
Speaker 3: Honey, It's just not the worst part about my baby daddy claiming to be a blood is that, Honestly, if we were in a fucking fight, he wouldn't bust a grape. I was thinking that, like what if I had to fight him, or like I had to jump them or something. Don't tell anybody really pissed me off this week, But I was like, you know, because he gets really mouthy with women. I noticed that today, Like he used to get mouthed with me, get physical with me, get mouthed with his mama. I never seen this nigga get mouthy with no nigga. So if you a gangster doing a lot of this to women, to women, nine times out of ten, nigga, use a bitch. Anyway, Sorry, that was my rant for the day. No I got got to sprinkle a little bit of baby daddy hate in there would be a good mom shoven stuck into the backwood, just like you sprinkle the backwoods, sprinkle a little bit of baby daddy hate, a little bit of daddy hate. You know, we want you to do better, though we hope and we pray that you always do better. We do, we truly do, but we're not going to hold our breath. Speaking of bad choices, do you have any bad choices this week? My dear, it's a bad choice of the week.

00:33:45
Speaker 2: Bat mom.

00:33:46
Speaker 4: Not a bad mom, but a bad mom, so.

00:33:50
Speaker 3: Good I'm Lizy. I'm gonna tell a bad choice from we were off season. I wasn't really I don't know why I'm feeling reluctant to tell it now. I feel a little embarrassed, but I guess it wouldn't be a bad choice if it wasn't a little bit embarrassing and me with it. None you bitches in the comments judge me either, I'm gonna get judged. So once upon a time, me and Orlando were at our house like we are nine times out of ten, and Lynna was home. It was a school night, so our friend, our homie comes over and we put her to bed. So because the school night, and our homie comes over, and you know, our homie is married, but he is Polly, so he is like, you know, girl, friend girls, girlfriends whatever, So friend girls. He was like, he had one girl come over. Then he's like, I'm gonna take her home, and I was like, you're drunk. He's like, I'm uber home and he's like, oh yeah, my other two homegirls is gonna come by. And I was like, you think you're slick, Okay, you're just inviting bitches over here because you can't take them home whatever that our house is.

00:34:52
Speaker 2: That house is free hotel.

00:34:53
Speaker 3: Like it's like a come all come like I get calls a four in the morning. I'm like, okay, the door is open. Whatever. So these two the bitches come over. They go upstairs. Mire Orlanda go in the room. We're like getting a little freak freaky deeky. I'm in the room, like naked, so I'm like standing up on our bed because I'm sure I'm touching the ceiling and Orlando's eating my pussy. Our homeboy comes in. He has on his whole shirt is off. I don't know where his shirt went. What's y'all doing? And I'm like my lega, um, well, I'm getting some head. So you would think that would be his sign and like open and close the door. No, he comes in and close the doors behind him. Oh yeah, oh y'all down here getting it poppin. Yes we are, friend, Yes we are. You know what this naked does. He said, I'm gonna get the I'm gonna get those girls. I'm gonna right back. I'm like, so, Mir or Landa, we don't even say shit.

00:35:45
Speaker 2: We just staying there.

00:35:46
Speaker 3: And he goes back out of the room, close the door, and I was like, Landy, you let your friend punk us. Nobody said shit, nobody said no, thank you, nobody said anything. We're just like okay. So he comes back in with the two girls. Me and Orlando are just like I think I finally sit down, but I'm butt ass naked. I think Orlando's naked too. So then they're like, we have surround Okay, we have like a We're not Polly, but we have a poly bed because we have surround seating. There's platforms all around the bed, so if someone one wanted to sit and watch, it would be like a perfect situation. So the girls sit down. Anyway, him and one of the girls start fucking around, and I'm like, okay, well I guess front Row show it in my room.

00:36:28
Speaker 2: And then you got your friends and the girls are around.

00:36:31
Speaker 3: One girl and the friend is fucking around. But then he stops and says, do you have a towel? So I'm like yeah. He's like she'd be squirting a lot, like oh yeah, Oh lord Jesus, I'm like, yeah, let me get your towel because this is my bed and my nigger. Oh shit, oh shit, oh god, what are you doing? Sorry?

00:36:50
Speaker 2: He just stayed the area stage my bed, stage your bad choices.

00:36:54
Speaker 3: Okay, So I get two towels because bitch, you're not about to get your fluids all over my bed. But then I'm kind of interested because you know, I haven't I haven't really mastered the skirting thing, which is just really one of these days I'm gonna have the announcement that I did it. And so I go get the towels and I'm like, hey, this is the only area in which you could do this because my bed. So anybody were like watching them, like I'm gonna pussyate. They're like, fucking, she's bent over, They're like getting loud. I'm like, hey, hey, my kid is sleeping in the next room. So I'm like I make then the mommy announcement, like hey, I know we're adults having fun, but upt the fuck up. Okay, So they start fucking iek like me and or Lando start fucking. So we're just like it's not like any type of an orgy. It's just like a side by side fucking and one girl watching. Don't ask my life. It's a regular like Wednesday night, and we totally just let this happen. Okay, so she starts like going in. He's doing some kind of moves and I could see He's like, so I know it's about to happen. So I'm like.

00:37:56
Speaker 2: Trying to see the technique.

00:37:57
Speaker 3: I'm trying to see the technique, right, So for sure, she just starts sucking squirting all over the fucking bed. I'm like, WHOA, Like front row seats pretty cool, right, like live porn. So whenever we keep going, like we're telling jokes in between, I'm like talking shit to my friends. The other girl is just like the other We're gonna just suck up this yellow couch, and the other girl's just like being very demir like watching. So then me Orlando take a meeting in the closet.

00:38:27
Speaker 2: What how did you sneak into the closet? It was like like sexily dragged him over. They're like, come me here, baby. No, I think he was just like come here.

00:38:36
Speaker 3: I don't know how he got that. Has keep in mind, here's my bed, here's the closet. We have to walk nowhere or just literally one step. So we get we get in the closet and he's like we start talking. I'm like, what's happening, Like, are they trying to have three? Like are they trying to have orgy? I don't know. He's like, I mean, you know that girl has nice boom. Like why He's like, you know, it wouldn't be so it would be nice to like on her titty. I'm like, do you want to suck on her titties?

00:39:03
Speaker 1: Like?

00:39:03
Speaker 3: I mean kind of yeah, you know, like almost like an child, like I have been good this week. I am a really nice boy. I'm like, so, I'm like, note to self, remind me tocus him out tomorrow about using his niceness as a privilege to get things some I'm like, okay, well okay, well you could suck her titty. So then we go back out of the closet and he just moves me.

00:39:22
Speaker 2: On over to her tit crawl over.

00:39:25
Speaker 3: Yeah. So they were like you get it popping again, like making out. She was like sitting right there, and I just, oh, you want to suck your tick? I didn't, but I had to initiate it. I was sure, oh okay. I was like okay, trying to be a good wing woman. I was like like kissing her shoulder and I was like rubbing the girl's shoulder and I was like, what's your mind if he licked your titty? Gotta kiss you? First I kissed her and then I was like, do you mind if he sucks on your titty? And she's like no, and she like takes out her big, voluptuous breast and then like he's so it's like kissing Lila and I kissed the other and we're like looking at each other, these big old titties in her mouth and I'm I crawled over so awkward. Anyway we do that, I like make out with her a little bit, like only her top comes off. And then it ends like I look at the time, it's just late. It's like three o'clock in the morning, and I'm like okay. So then they just collect themselves and get up and leave, and Orlando's so happy, he's just beaming. I'm like, give you, give your nigga one titty suckle a year is gonna be fucking thinks you're the ship. So it wasn't even like an orgy or anything of that story. It was just like a diet a diet light orgy. But the bad choice was that my kid was in the next room, but she was sound asleep and she had no clue, so and like we hang out in our room all the time with friends, and so yeah, that's my bad, bad, good choice of the week. Because Orlando was very thrilled after they left. You would have thought he had a whole fucking foursome or some shit. He you couldn't tell him shit, And I was just like.

00:41:06
Speaker 2: That's like a bad choice slash a whoy.

00:41:08
Speaker 3: Yeah wow, so that's my story that happened. I love that that, But I always have a meeting in the closet first. That sounds fun, you know, if it's if it requires going in the closet and being a little strange, just do it because then you have clear you have clear guidelines of what's about to happen. Because when you don't have communication, it's.

00:41:24
Speaker 2: Okay to step away from the threesome one and get it to get get the communication together and then come back. It's okay. Do not force yourself just like you've done all your life with men where you didn't want to sleep with them, but you're already doing it and you felt like you had to just stay. No, you can. You can step away with your partner and make the make negotiations terms and agreements.

00:41:42
Speaker 3: Terms and agreements and this this has been the key in uh, having the fluctuation and the relationship is like having the conversation first. I mean ideally, yes, not normally when you're in the midst mandatory, don't do it. We've been there, We've done that. I was traumatized, Okay, and you try to did that right now. You didn't have the conversation first, No, but mid mid whatever the fuck was happening, we knew because there's been times where we have not had the conversation and it went terribly wrong that it doesn't matter how weird it looks or how strange it is, We're going to take a moment to go into the closet and have a meeting because it could go south and then we're gonna then they're they're gonna leave, and we're gonna have problems. So if it takes to just go in the closet and have some communication that you.

00:42:26
Speaker 2: Have to be in solidarity with your partner. You really have to feel like you guys are a team working together.

00:42:33
Speaker 3: Yeah, because if if some one person, like one person doesn't communicate adventures out of the fucking contract or there's no contract, things can go really bad and even as someone who's not Polly or I would I am monogamous. I guess in this case would be monogamish, but just it requires a lot of communication and that has been the game changer for me. In Orlando's play good, I love that. I love that.

00:42:58
Speaker 2: It's very good advice for all the three Summers and group sext people in the YouTube live and like, if.

00:43:05
Speaker 3: Your man asks you for a titty suck, I was like, whatever, sure, I don't even know this bitch, never seen her again. I can't even tell your name those you know, like she was a nice little fairy of the night unicorn unicorn. Yeah, so that's my bad choice of the week. I love that. Thank you for sharing. I think I was just a concerned that I would be judged because my kid was in the next room.

00:43:36
Speaker 2: But I mean, people have sex with their kid at the house.

00:43:39
Speaker 3: We all do it. Yeah, it's true.

00:43:41
Speaker 2: Who decides how many it can be?

00:43:43
Speaker 3: You? Yep, it's actually very normal now that you say it like that, thank you. Yeah, I feel like it's it's the truth.

00:43:51
Speaker 2: You know, you were with your fiance, Yeah, you're like, yeah.

00:43:56
Speaker 3: It says Alexa play meeting in my bedroom meeting in the closet. Okay, oh my gosh.

00:44:04
Speaker 2: Well should we answer some questions from the YouTube live?

00:44:08
Speaker 3: Yes? We should.

00:44:09
Speaker 2: Should we have any terranny?

00:44:12
Speaker 3: Did you text me digit text us? She did cause she's this shit. Oh okay, Oh, while you do that, I'm gonna pick a tarot card. Okay, okay.

00:44:26
Speaker 2: So this is a question from somebody in our Patreon. If you haven't joined Patreon, what are you doing on Patreon?

00:44:33
Speaker 3: At this point?

00:44:34
Speaker 2: It's ten dollars a month and you get access to our discord, which is like the juiciest, most supportive, loving, constant community that you didn't even know existed, but now you do, because literally, like the discord every someone actually the other day yesterday was like, how do you do it?

00:44:53
Speaker 3: There's so many there's so many conversations happening.

00:44:55
Speaker 2: They're like there's people get sharing titties and there's people like venting about their Then there's someone who's like getting gradulated because she got a great job. There's people meeting up, there's people putting one one, one, two, two, three through three.

00:45:07
Speaker 3: I was like, people share full full moon rituals. It's you know, I told you recently, like the discord is such a full spectrum. But it's like it's the physical manifestation of like the pillars of good moms akas like mom shit, witchy shit, it's spiritual enlightenment, fun shit.

00:45:29
Speaker 2: Sexy shit. There's a smart ship. There's a book club happening right now. Shout out to Carrie, who's in our discord, who's leading our first book club. The book is Lessons and Thorns, which I think is like a sexy, like mighty little sexy book. And so they're meeting weekly and like, I just love how it just it just keeps on expanding and growing. So shout out to the Discord. Make sure you go check us out Patreon dot com, slash Good Mom's Bad Choices on Discord. Okay, so this is a question, how do you break a breakup to your My three year old was introduced to my ex at one years old. We were mostly long distance FaceTime dates and practically lived together for six months before ending things. She brings him up frequently, and I don't know what to say. Sometimes I want her to be able to move on to.

00:46:15
Speaker 3: Well, you gotta tell her you broke up.

00:46:17
Speaker 2: I don't know if that hasn't happened yet because it says how do you break a breakup to your kid? I mean I think that there's like just like you're having a morning process, like your child also might have a morning process, and you have to kind of allow that, just like you have to give yourself and you guys can I think it's just about communicating, like how do you feel, what does it make you feel? Like you know, and then expressing I think the you don't have to be I think at a at whatever a kid appropriate level, but like sharing why. I mean, like I remember when I broke up with my ex, I told Iri, like I told her the real shit, Like he was disrespectful to me, He didn't show me that he valued me, he lied to me.

00:46:58
Speaker 3: And these are things that I'm not going to tolerate now.

00:46:59
Speaker 2: Three I'm not sure, but like I feel like there's a PG version of that too, where you start educating your kids on the real shit and it's not harmful for them to understand. I feel like interpersonal dynamics as earlier as possible, you know, like we keep waiting to like show them things and think we're protecting them and really like harming them and not preparing them for the inevitable.

00:47:22
Speaker 3: You know, yeah, I agree. I mean, yeah, three obviously age appropriate conversations, but this is one of my favorite conversations. I think there's a lot of shit on the internet about a single mom's dating. I literally was watching something and the comments were so crazy, like the women were like, yeah, that's why I'm i'd in date to my some was eighteen. I don't bring no man home. Like it was almost like a a like a stripe of righteousness, you know. I was like, so, you're gonna possibly like starve your pleasure and the things that may support and help you so that your kid can see what you struggling, see you like not dating, so doing everything alone, Like this is not a life is not a Disney movie, and we give ourselves. We don't even sound like Disney. That sounds like a no. I'm just saying. It's like, you can't protect your child from everything, and breakups do happen. And I think one of the biggest lessons that we that we skip over is that people leave. People leave, and that's okay. And I think, especially for girls, it's important that you know that people leave. Everyone is not meant to stay. Because there's this there's this, uh, something tied to our value of men staying, you know, and it's just like sometimes it's not that they're just not for me. And I thought, like, I think that is something that we all could like a lesson we all could could benefit from. The earlier the better, because inevitably, throughout our kids' lives there are gonna people that come and go because that's life. And I think that, yeah, like telling him what's up. We broke up because you got it. There's a trial and error period that exist and dating. It doesn't happen on the first try. You don't kiss a fucking frog and becomes your husband and your prince charming. It's human shit, and humans fuck up and they're flawed and we have issues and you work through and problem solve with your kids so that they're prepared in real life and not thinking that everything's going to be picture perfect and then fucking shopped when it's not. Yeah, agreed, just be honest. Hope that helps. What other comments do we have here? What other questions? Mmm? This is from Instagram?

00:49:32
Speaker 2: It is is it okay to spin the block if the breakup was abrupt two years of no communication but a sudden apology and reconciliation has been established. The love was strong, and I want this? Would you do it?

00:49:46
Speaker 3: Sounds like you answered your own questionss I want this. I think people we all do this, especially as women. We know what we want to do, and then we ask seventeen people also we could do what we wanted to do to begin with, we really crave validation because sometimes our intuition is not enough. And just like your intuition knows when you shouldn't spend the block when you're playing yourself, because we do that too. It's important that we like when there's things we really genuinely want to do, do it, and if it doesn't work out, know that you honored yourself in that way. Know that you honored your desire to do something or play in something, or you know, revisit something. Like You're not going to always make the best, perfect decision, but at least it's yours and so you can move through it gently however the outcome.

00:50:30
Speaker 2: Write down the.

00:50:31
Speaker 3: Pros and cons.

00:50:32
Speaker 2: Also, I think sometimes like you have to see it in front of you, like your brain will play tricks on you, but like the facts are not going to Like why did you break up? What was the reason why it didn't work? Why was it abrupt? Why did communication cease abruptly? Was it important? Was it necessary? Like what is he doing now? Are the cons from before still seem like the cons now? Like you know, just yeah, but yes, I think honoring your intuition too, But historically we will be stupid bitches because sometimes our intuition is like it's not even our intuition.

00:51:02
Speaker 3: We do normally know better, but like.

00:51:04
Speaker 2: I like, it gets foggy. It's it's easy to say that, but then sometimes like you've been like you've been wrong. You know, you really thought you were following your intuition, and so you know, I don't agree that you need to ask a thousand friends because I've done that before and like that also hasn't like done me right, I knew what I wanted to do, or you know, they didn't know the circumstances of the situation. But I do think sometimes like there's been situations I think more recently in my life where like I want my friends to have input, please tell me I'm being a stupid bitch, like don't let me do this, and I still might do it.

00:51:38
Speaker 3: Exactly, I still might do it. But like, at least you know that I told you the truth before you did it.

00:51:43
Speaker 2: Yeah, be stern, don't just don't get straight to the point.

00:51:48
Speaker 3: Don't sugarcoat it for me. That's just me. I mean that. Yeah. But then historically women do not have like, do not take relationship advice or criticism like that lightly. It's it's always a very sticky, sicky I think conversation when it comes to friends and boyfriends, because we all know bitches go to the moon and back for a nigga that they like. I know he said that, but that's not really what he said. I lie, he said it differently. I was just mad. I was just mad at that time. I didn't tell you all the gig. She didn't call me a bitch. He just said I was. I was acting like a bitch, which I was different. I was kind of action. I was even though he cheated, you know, I was kind of like a bitch that whole time to everybody.

00:52:34
Speaker 2: So it wasn't like it was true. So yeah, anyway.

00:52:40
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, do we have affirmation? Huh? Do we have affirmation? An affirmation? Do we haven't?

00:52:50
Speaker 2: After an affirmation from anyone in the YouTube live, does anybody have an affirmation that they love to share that we can share with the trial.

00:53:00
Speaker 3: I should be something about body positivity, since we're talking about loving our bodies.

00:53:11
Speaker 2: I love my body, thicker thin, I love my body. She's always gonna win.

00:53:22
Speaker 3: The Oh my god, wait, I can't remember that. I love my body with it. I am respected and well protected. I am respected and well protected.

00:53:39
Speaker 2: Shout out to Amirah.

00:53:40
Speaker 3: I love that.

00:53:40
Speaker 2: Thank you for sharing that I am respected and well protected. She got another good win and can I Kendrick? Wait, actually that was Cassandra. Cassandra, Thank you, Cassandra. Kendrick Lamar's affirmation has been I deserve it all.

00:53:56
Speaker 3: I deserve it all. That's that's a fact. I do deserve it all. Like, show me how good it can get. They've been showing it. Is it tarot tyme? It is terotyme? Pulled the judgment card.

00:54:27
Speaker 2: This sounds heavy, but actually it looks it looks happy.

00:54:33
Speaker 3: It's judgment rebirth, inner calling absolution. It says, the judgment card is calling you to rise and rise up and embrace a higher level of consciousness for the service of your highest good. You're experiencing a spiritual awakening and realizing that you were destined for so much more. This is your cosmic up leveling. You hear the call and are ready to act. Tune into a higher frequency, Let go of your old your old self, and step into this newest version of who you really are. The judgment card often indicates that you need to make a life changing decision, but unlike those associated with the logical justice card, the decision requires a blend of intuition and intellect. You may be at a crosswords, aware that any choice you make will bring a significant change with long lasting effects. Tune into your higher self, trust your judgment, and know you are on the right path. If you still need clarity on the situation, look to your past and life, your past and life lessons to guide you. It pops up in the taro when you're reaching a significant stage in your journey. Beautiful, that sounds that sounds great.

00:55:45
Speaker 2: Yeah, the judgment doesn't have to be bad. It's really it's like a deep dive into what is next, what you deserve.

00:55:52
Speaker 3: Leveling up and being prepared and like also accepting it. You know, sometimes I think we know shit is coming and we resist instead of just flowing with whatever like your body is telling you just really checking in, Like do I need to stop smoking weed? So yeah, I fuck with the judgment.

00:56:11
Speaker 2: Ye, well does that conclude this episode?

00:56:20
Speaker 3: I just want to say before we conclude the episode, I miss Costa Rica. I want to shout out to all eleven women that joined us. A couple of weeks ago. We had some really really really really good times and like it was small, it was intimate, we was naked. We went on some really deep psilocybin journeys. I think there was like a lot of lessons, a lot of like I just learned so much about women again, you know, and I'm just like we are so dynamic, and we are so resilient, and when we have space to just be how beautiful it is. And like again seeing the transformation of women, like starting to finish the relationships that like that that grow. And then I just want to tell one story. So we go out the last night we always go out to dinner. You know, we're all wearing like our creams and our whites, so we're looking like a posse and shit, like some fine bitches. And we walk to the nearest like bar and like literally like a parade. We're like dancing on the way. There's music, there's like live music. We get to the bar. It's lady's night. They're serving some disgusting horn fu cauld drink that nobody should drink, and so we start dancing. It's like outdoors, it's warm, all the girls are there, we're all dancing, and suddenly it starts to like rain. I'm like, oh yeah, babies, like feeling extra sexy. It's already like moist, but now it's really moist, and you know, everybody has a protective style, so no one's really about their hair. Everyone's just like wh So we're outside dancing and we're like the only people dancing because we're always the only people dancing. It must have been kind of early. The DJ is like rocky and hard, and so all the good songs are coming on. And then Rihanna Shine like bright like a diamond comes on, so we're like, we're beautiful, like diamonds in the sky, like it's full, like the moon is popping, and then we say sky and then like pop pop pop, the electricity goes out and it's black. The music stops and we're like and then we all finished the song. A cappella and shinlight like a diamond like the whole club and it's like a music video and like it's like as if dancing in the rain with your homegirls isn't magical enough, then God's like, oh watch this, you witches.

00:58:47
Speaker 2: You know.

00:58:48
Speaker 3: It's like it was like literally when the electricity in our bodies and then the group got like so at.

00:58:53
Speaker 2: The highest point, the high it was the highest point, like the climax.

00:58:57
Speaker 3: It's like we're it was like bursting the inside and then it bursted.

00:59:01
Speaker 2: The whole power in the whole city went out, the whole for hours.

00:59:08
Speaker 3: It still chills because I knew it was us, Like I was like, oh, we did this.

00:59:11
Speaker 2: Because we had we had done and we had unlocked so much up until that point.

00:59:16
Speaker 3: At the retreat, we had like.

00:59:17
Speaker 2: Released, we had made space, we had connected, women had like just just binded in ways that because the group was so intimate like that. I don't know if we've I've seen before. It was just like a really beautiful experience. So I felt like we for sure. I knew when that happened. I said we did.

00:59:38
Speaker 3: I was like, look what the fuck we did?

00:59:40
Speaker 2: And I think it's so important and because like that's not the first time i've we've we've experienced something like that. But I think it's so important for women to experience those things and have like you're in the group and everyone experience everyone knows you know, like it's it's important.

00:59:56
Speaker 3: I think sometimes when you're like amongst a group of people, are you just like in the every you question your know again, your intuition, your intuition, your power, like literally how energetically our inside affects our outside world, and like when you're bursting on the inside and you're in tune with your pleasure, especially in a collective space, especially as women. We had cultivated this like energy together as a group, and I could feel it like running up my body even during like us dancing in the rain and singing together, and at this very moment like it to burst, Like it really was magical. And I think sometimes you underestimate or you like brush off magical experiences as coincidences, but when you're in a group like that, it's like almost impossible. So it was just like we weren't even there very long, but it was like the pinnacle of the night, the ending of the trip, and then we went home, no electricity in the whole property, but we had candles, so we lit a bunch of tea candles. We had our speakers, charged our downloaded plist, we had downloaded playlists, and we just like vibed party to get all the wine all over. Everybody's a room combined, and we just like vibed.

01:01:01
Speaker 2: In the candlelight in the jungle, like literally only sounds of insects and fucking nature.

01:01:08
Speaker 3: Yeah, and darkness and like the like the sky is so bright and lit up and it was just like titties out just sisterhood.

01:01:16
Speaker 4: You know.

01:01:16
Speaker 3: It just felt really good. Every time I go, I'm like I always say this, I'm like, oh, this is how we're meant to exist. This is how women once existed. And like in the jungle and tribes like healing each other and like connecting with each other and just being so clear about their pleasure and releasing and supporting each other and the releases and it was just magical and yeah, I'm really I'm proud. I'm proud of what we've cultivated and just shout out to all the women who like choose themselves and choose to come even when it's not convenient or does it feel like it's convenient choose to choose themselves because the retreat is motherfucking life changing, you know, Like I said, we saw Dutch. There's always a pleasure to see who moved there, bought a house two years ago from coming to the Good Ree Retreat, their first time coming to Proto. Like it's just some really magical shit goes down when you're in the jungle. So shout out to Retreat fourteen, baby, shout out to Retreat fourteen. That was that was really special. Speaking of the.

01:02:14
Speaker 2: Retreat, I almost fucking forgot give away. We're giving away a spot today. We're literally giving away a whole free spot to the Goodbvibe Retreat.

01:02:23
Speaker 3: This is like my I loved, I love doing this. Like we really try to make it like if I could give away the whole retreat forever, like I really wish we could. I could.

01:02:33
Speaker 2: It's like just whoever has the brand, get the brand to pay for the bitches and then y'all, y'all can.

01:02:38
Speaker 3: Come, because everybody really should. Expecien have to do. You have to, You have to. It's never too late, it's never too early, doesn't matter how old you are, where you're at how many kids? No kids, It's just like a woman's like an experienced women should have.

01:02:53
Speaker 2: Well, one woman is about to have this experience.

01:02:56
Speaker 3: Okay, Well tell us who it is.

01:03:00
Speaker 2: This is for our Costa Rica July thirty one through August fifth retreat.

01:03:05
Speaker 3: And this was from the patri This is from Patreon only Patreon.

01:03:08
Speaker 2: So all everyone who joined Patreon, shout out to all of our new patrons. You entered this giveaway, and now we shall see who is the winner. It's a spin wheel, Charis B. Charise B, you are the winner of the Good Vibe Retreat giveaway. Congratulations, which your life is about to go to the next level. You're about to expand in ways you didn't even think possible, and you're about to be part of a tribe that is forever. So I'm so excited Charise that we get to take care of you.

01:03:53
Speaker 3: Spiritual Sorority.

01:03:54
Speaker 2: Baby, Spiritual Sorority. Make sure Charisse you email social at Good Moms, Bad Choices dot com to claim your free retreat.

01:04:08
Speaker 3: Wow, I'm excited.

01:04:09
Speaker 2: That was fun. That was fun, right, yeah, yeah, I can't wait to go back to that retreat. And we have a few more spots left to our Jamaica retreat.

01:04:21
Speaker 3: We have just opened up.

01:04:22
Speaker 2: Yeah, we had some last minute cancelations. It was totally sold out. We have two spots left, So if you want to come to Jamaica for four to twenty, it's our gone just.

01:04:30
Speaker 3: Got a retreat.

01:04:31
Speaker 2: It's very cannabis friendly focused, still gottess vibes, exploration, beautiful waterfalls. Uh, there's like this little there's like this fucking place where there's a bar in the middle of the ocean that we're going to.

01:04:44
Speaker 3: I love. I love the middle of the ocean bar.

01:04:46
Speaker 2: You know, there's very Mermaid. There's a lot of things that we're going to do there. Leila is going to be giving her one on one contra sessions, I do my reiki sound healing.

01:04:55
Speaker 3: There's a lot of like it's so beautiful. We did a lot of one on ones in this last trip. And I know we're both like, oh shit, we're gonna be We're gonna be really doing it. But you know, it's like there's since we've been practicing and like exercising our like our tools and our gifts, it's so nice to be able to like gift it more and like give the gift of reiki and tantra and energy medicine to like the girls that come and have one on one time. So I'm excited. It feels really good.

01:05:21
Speaker 2: I felt super activated on this trip in my reiki energy and just the gifts, and I'm excited to open up my practice a little bit. I really enjoy like having it at the retreat and it is a lot of energy, but it's such a beautiful way and delicate way to move energy through your body and heal and it's very powerful. So anyway, we have some spots left at the at the August four to twenty retreat. So if you are a smoker leg us and you like to smoke them big blants.

01:05:49
Speaker 3: Legous and Eata Jamaican jerk chicken and yeah, maybe.

01:05:53
Speaker 2: Get we gotta get the bitches massage by the We gotta get them. We gotta get there somehow. Waterfalls, the waterfalls, you know what I'm talking about.

01:06:00
Speaker 3: Going to figure it out, even if we have to drive four hours.

01:06:04
Speaker 2: This is very important. I think they would understand. I think everyone would be on board for that because what I've seen on Instagram is pretty powerful stuff.

01:06:11
Speaker 3: You know, is that Africa that we're seeing No right, it's make a mud right, yep, we gotta figure it out. Well. I'm so happy to connect with you guys. Thank you for joining us on live. Thank you for joining us on the podcast. If you have not yet subscribed to our YouTube channel and to this show. Wherever you listen to podcasts, do it right now when don't get off here and forget, please write a review. Please subscribe. It's very important that you subscribe because the podcast gods are against us. They really try and make it difficult for podcasts to accumulate their downloads. So it means a lot to a black lead, female lead podcast like us to get the support digitally with the number.

01:06:57
Speaker 2: Download the episode. Please, it's important, do it.

01:07:04
Speaker 3: Well. I love you, I love y'all. I love you.

01:07:12
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm live.

01:07:13
Speaker 3: Been so good.

01:07:14
Speaker 4: Can't you tell? I went through a drought. That's until I found out well may might have been known earth. I used to be broken tail now got the blues in to like Beyonce Jasell, throat shots or popping his cow.

01:07:24
Speaker 2: Were in our voices.

01:07:25
Speaker 4: Patriarchy kept it in the box to exploit its women put the pee and power. So what's pointless? They want me to be good So I made bad choices. Bad mom, not a bad mom, but a bad mom. Itter's in on put cannabis in their bath. Bon walked in bosses cap and I blew his cat ball tied dog.

01:07:41
Speaker 3: Now I'm immune to the cat called.

01:07:43
Speaker 4: Her being no waisted straight to it like a dollar sign. Mother, rent the lover when so what it is like a water sign where you're renting the winter essential will when the summer time.

01:07:51
Speaker 2: I do it all they know when that needs a running. Good Mom's by Choices as a production of the Black Effect podcast Network. For more podcasts from Iheartradiot, the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows, don't forget to subscribe to and rate our show, and you can connect with us on social media at good Mom's Underscore Bad Choices. Make sure to subscribe to our YouTube channel at good Mom's Bad Choices to watch our episodes and join our private community on Patreon to see extended episodes, uncensored content, and more at patreon dot com slash Good Moms, Bad Choices