The Unspoken Liberation of Aging Authentically with Heather Creekmore

Transcript

WEBVTT

00:00:02.244 --> 00:00:13.833
I think we forget to be grateful because we believe the lies all around us and I'm going to call them the lies of idols that tell us true happiness is wearing this size.

00:00:13.833 --> 00:00:16.007
True happiness is having this kind of house.

00:00:16.007 --> 00:00:19.589
True happiness is having children who act like this.

00:00:19.589 --> 00:00:23.791
You know, true happiness is my son gets into this special college, right?

00:00:23.791 --> 00:00:24.545
True happiness is.

00:00:24.545 --> 00:00:25.759
True happiness is my son gets into this special college, right?

00:00:25.759 --> 00:00:25.888
True happiness is.

00:00:25.888 --> 00:00:35.584
True happiness is and I think aging is a fabulous opportunity for us to stop and be like wow, god has been with me for 50 years.

00:00:35.584 --> 00:00:42.811
He has walked on a path with me for 50 years.

00:00:44.421 --> 00:00:50.588
Hey there, welcome to the Grace Health Podcast, your source for aging strong in your physical, mental and spiritual health.

00:00:50.588 --> 00:00:51.850
My name is Amy Connell.

00:00:51.850 --> 00:00:57.341
I'm a weight neutral certified personal trainer and nutrition coach who loves walks with friends, chocolate and Jesus.

00:00:57.341 --> 00:01:07.846
Whether you're looking to grow stronger as you age, nourish your body, mind and spirit, or fit all the pieces of your health together to holistically thrive, this is the place for women over 40.

00:01:07.846 --> 00:01:15.992
I'm here to guide you in the areas I can and bring on experts in the areas I'm still learning, and, of course, we cover it all in a whole lot of grace.

00:01:15.992 --> 00:01:17.281
I'm glad you're here.

00:01:17.281 --> 00:01:25.111
I hope you are ready for some candid conversations, with a lot of laughter, about aging.

00:01:25.171 --> 00:01:37.927
Today I had so much fun with Heather Creekmore bemoaning some of the aspects of aging and then pivoting that around and talking about how we can be grateful.

00:01:37.927 --> 00:01:54.950
At the same time, heather and I are just a few months apart and we talk about some of the surprising effects of aging, choosing praise rather than despair about our changing bodies and how we have both been humbled as we have gotten older.

00:01:54.950 --> 00:02:08.967
I don't know if you ever took classes in school or university that had recommended reading, but if I had to choose a book for recommended reading here in the Grace Health community, heather's book Aging Gratefully would be it.

00:02:08.967 --> 00:02:19.993
Heather is the friend you want to laugh about the changes, reframe how you think about aging and keeping your eyes fixed on Jesus as you do.

00:02:19.993 --> 00:02:24.347
Aging Gratefully is truly just the companion you need.

00:02:24.347 --> 00:02:40.430
So if any of these are ringing a bell, this is what you need as you take the next step into the next phase of your life, with confidence and gratitude for the story that God has and continues to create in you.

00:02:40.430 --> 00:02:52.830
I have loved this book so much, and think you will too, and I have chosen Aging Gratefully to be a book club selection in our Graced Health Community Facebook group.

00:02:52.830 --> 00:02:56.243
We will be meeting in June 2024.

00:02:56.243 --> 00:03:00.733
And I will be providing more information over there, so you have plenty of time to read it.

00:03:00.733 --> 00:03:06.312
Be sure to grab your copy and join us over on the Facebook community group.

00:03:07.001 --> 00:03:10.608
Let's jump into my conversation with Heather Creekmore.

00:03:10.608 --> 00:03:15.623
I am super thrilled to have back to the show Heather Creekmore.

00:03:15.623 --> 00:03:24.027
Heather has been on in the past and I will link that in the show notes, but Heather is the host of the compared to who podcast.

00:03:24.027 --> 00:03:36.432
She is a body image coach, author of multiple books, and one in particular that we're talking about today, which I know you guys, I know you're going to want to read this.

00:03:36.432 --> 00:03:48.175
It is called Aging Gratefully, and it is for those of us who follow Jesus who are trying to navigate aging.

00:03:48.175 --> 00:03:52.127
So, heather, I'm thrilled you're here.

00:03:52.127 --> 00:03:53.230
Welcome to the show.

00:03:53.780 --> 00:03:55.044
It is so great to be with you, Amy.

00:03:55.044 --> 00:03:55.806
Thanks for having me.

00:03:56.449 --> 00:03:57.070
You're welcome.

00:03:57.070 --> 00:04:04.971
Well, it has been such a pleasure to get to know you, first, I think, through this podcast, and then you've been so gracious to endorse your worthy body.

00:04:04.971 --> 00:04:07.447
You're looking at your core strength right now.

00:04:07.447 --> 00:04:15.347
I mean, you've just been such a great friend of the show and I'm I'm so thrilled to have you back, because it's it's been a hot minute since you came on talking about the burden of better.

00:04:15.668 --> 00:04:19.321
Yes, time is flying, though, so it's hard to keep up right.

00:04:20.142 --> 00:04:22.408
Yes, totally, totally Okay.

00:04:22.408 --> 00:04:32.920
So you were on the show in season nine and so the episode was called is trying to be better, burdening your heart, and we talked some about that book, about your first book.

00:04:32.920 --> 00:04:41.086
Compared to who, for those of you or for those who haven't met, you tell us some about who you are and what you do, beyond what I introduced.

00:04:41.346 --> 00:04:52.358
Yeah, well, amy, this is not what I ever expected to be doing and I don't know if I said that last time I was on your show or not, but you know I like you.

00:04:52.358 --> 00:05:01.223
I was a fitness instructor and you know I really thought if I was ever doing anything like this, they would be telling people how to lose weight and look great.

00:05:01.223 --> 00:05:18.149
And instead I am talking, I hope honestly and authentically and openly with women every single week about the ways we struggle around the pressure that we hear from people who are telling us how to lose weight and look great.

00:05:18.149 --> 00:05:20.858
We both used to do Right.

00:05:20.858 --> 00:05:22.764
We both used to do that Right.

00:05:23.545 --> 00:05:42.504
So, yeah, I mean I've been on a body image journey, I'm going to say since the third grade is when I first remember struggling with this had a whole long history of dieting, which now I would probably, now that I know more, I would classify at least a good portion of that history as an eating disorder disordered eating, for sure, but.

00:05:42.504 --> 00:06:02.827
But there was a portion, a time period, where I know I fell into an eating disorder category and really God kind of interrupted life as usual for me when I was in my mid-30s and he showed me that these body image issues that I had struggled with for so long and I was sure were about my body.

00:06:02.827 --> 00:06:08.867
I was sure as soon as I could change my body the body image issues would just go away and everything would be, you know, sunshine and rainbows.

00:06:08.867 --> 00:06:17.591
But God showed me that really what I had done was I had made my body image and really beauty, while looking a certain way I made it an idol.

00:06:17.591 --> 00:06:20.809
And that changed everything for me, amy.

00:06:20.809 --> 00:06:29.766
Like because I was raised in a Christian home, I went to church, I went to Christian schools all the way through graduate school.

00:06:29.766 --> 00:06:32.312
So I knew I was fearfully and wonderfully made.

00:06:32.312 --> 00:06:35.406
I knew that God looked at my heart and not my gene size.

00:06:35.406 --> 00:06:38.521
I really thought I knew all the God and Jesus answers.

00:06:38.521 --> 00:06:52.079
So the fact that there was something scripturally that I had never connected to this issue, that had literally weighed me down for decades, like that was eye opening and that changed everything for me.

00:06:52.079 --> 00:06:53.644
And so I still.

00:06:53.785 --> 00:06:55.809
Even after that, my own personal change happened.

00:06:55.809 --> 00:07:02.865
I started speaking a little bit here and there to mops, groups and such, but I was never going to write about this, like that was not on my radar.

00:07:02.865 --> 00:07:13.165
I wanted to write, but not about this and eventually, it was my husband who was like you need to be writing your body image story, and I was like, no, no one needs to hear all the mess that is.

00:07:13.165 --> 00:07:32.230
And I did, and that led to the publication of my first book in 2017, compared to who, and then the book that we talked about last time, the Burden of Better, which came out a couple years later, and then I just released a book called the 40-Day Body Image Workbook, and my next one is on aging, called Aging Gratefully, and we're going to talk about that one today.

00:07:32.992 --> 00:07:49.588
And we're not talking today as much about the 40-Day Body Image Workbook, but I also have that one and that is such a rich application of taking the scriptures that we know and that we've heard and working through that.

00:07:49.588 --> 00:07:51.463
So that is also something.

00:07:51.463 --> 00:08:01.629
If you're listening and these are starting to kind of make some things go off in your brain, definitely take that as a resource, and then this is what we're going to be talking about some today as well.

00:08:01.629 --> 00:08:17.596
So one of the reasons that, besides just I love being around you and I love your energy and presence, even if it's virtual One of the one of the reasons I was excited to have this is you and I, I think, are right within the same age.

00:08:17.596 --> 00:08:22.387
I mean, I think we're super close, so I'm right there with you.

00:08:22.387 --> 00:08:37.553
As we're talking about aging, as we're talking about the stuff in our bodies that are going wonky, or at least that feel are going wonky, I would love it if you would share what is has been thus far the biggest surprise of aging to you.

00:08:38.541 --> 00:08:39.605
Well, so it's funny.

00:08:39.605 --> 00:08:40.804
So you know, I'll disclose.

00:08:40.804 --> 00:08:42.729
So I turned 50 this year.

00:08:43.371 --> 00:08:44.155
Me too.

00:08:44.155 --> 00:08:45.363
So the summer, when's your birthday?

00:08:45.524 --> 00:08:47.136
July, July.

00:08:47.318 --> 00:08:48.041
Okay, november.

00:08:48.341 --> 00:08:50.807
Okay, so I'm a little older than you, amy.

00:08:52.250 --> 00:08:53.592
Older and wiser, that's for sure.

00:08:54.821 --> 00:08:58.291
No, but I wrote this book I was 48.

00:08:58.291 --> 00:09:01.541
Okay, cause you know, it takes a while to get it published and such.

00:09:01.541 --> 00:09:18.140
And I'm doing all this research and like Amy, it's embarrassing to say this but like I didn't know that perimenopause was a thing, like I'd heard people talk about menopause and like everything, like oh, you know, it's all menopause, menopause.

00:09:18.140 --> 00:09:21.706
And I'm researching and I'm like, oh, that's actually not even the correct term.

00:09:21.706 --> 00:09:27.875
Like menopause is that one moment in time after 12 months of no period.

00:09:27.875 --> 00:09:30.265
And so that was a whole education for me.

00:09:30.265 --> 00:09:36.572
And it was kind of funny because I think the more I dug into researching aging, the more I felt like I was getting older.

00:09:36.572 --> 00:09:39.784
It's like I think writing this book is aging me.

00:09:39.784 --> 00:10:04.214
But aging is so strange because you watch other people do it, you hear other people complain about it, right, and yet I think somehow we kind of think, well, it really won't happen to me like that, like we think we'll somehow miss it, and so yes, I sat there about five years ago.

00:10:04.234 --> 00:10:07.850
I was like, well, it probably won't hit me as much because I'm pretty active.

00:10:07.850 --> 00:10:13.048
Right, I've been learning this, right, that doesn't prevent anything.

00:10:13.390 --> 00:10:21.052
Yeah, I mean, it's so funny and so when it does, it's like ouch, where did that come from?

00:10:21.052 --> 00:10:22.346
So I'll disclose this.

00:10:22.346 --> 00:10:30.688
I had to go on blood pressure medication a couple months ago and I'm like, what in the world is that about?

00:10:30.688 --> 00:10:36.164
I exercise six days a week, like we rarely.

00:10:36.164 --> 00:10:51.812
I'm not that there's anything wrong with eating out, and you know I don't have those kinds of food rules in my life anymore but we eat pretty well and we don't go out very often, so I'm not eating the quote unquote high sodium foods that are going to kill you with your blood pressure, kind of thing, right.

00:10:51.812 --> 00:10:54.629
And yet I'm like what?

00:10:54.629 --> 00:10:56.706
Like that can't be my blood pressure.

00:10:56.706 --> 00:10:57.789
Are you kidding me?

00:10:57.789 --> 00:11:07.292
And my doctor, unfortunately, is very gracious and she's like yeah, this is just kind of a normal thing at your season of life and I really appreciate the fact that she's taken that approach.

00:11:07.812 --> 00:11:10.961
It was so high I had to go on something.

00:11:10.961 --> 00:11:16.461
There was no, like we can just take our time and see if we can get this down, but it just shocked me.

00:11:16.461 --> 00:11:33.192
I'm like wait, in some ways it's like this isn't what I was promised, right, because the health and fitness industry is like you just do all the things and to your point, earlier, you will avoid aging right, it won't hit you as hard.

00:11:33.192 --> 00:11:44.192
You'll never have to go on the blood pressure medication and so, even like getting that prescription that was like I don't know like a line in the sand, was like, oh yikes, my body's aging too too.

00:11:44.192 --> 00:11:51.051
Oh, there might not be anything I can do about this, and it hurt.

00:11:52.495 --> 00:12:02.624
You know I was finally able to identify the word for me that I fell because I've been on blood pressure medication for about 10 years and, like you're a doctor.

00:12:02.624 --> 00:12:06.380
Thankfully mine was like Amy, you're doing everything right, I'm not worried about it.

00:12:06.380 --> 00:12:08.556
But for me the word was insulting.

00:12:08.556 --> 00:12:21.501
I'm insulted that I have to pop not one, but two pills, because I deserve to have good blood pressure, because I do all the same things that you do, but we deserve nothing.

00:12:22.803 --> 00:12:24.407
Well, and I'll tell you you want to hear my insult.

00:12:24.407 --> 00:12:35.083
I'm driving through the pharmacy to pick up my blood pressure prescription for the first time and this sweet little pharmacist is like, have you taken this before?

00:12:35.083 --> 00:12:36.519
I said no, this is my first time.

00:12:36.519 --> 00:12:43.068
And she looks at me and she's like, well, you know, she told me a couple of things.

00:12:43.068 --> 00:12:46.903
And she's like you should try exercising Like I do.

00:12:46.903 --> 00:12:57.037
You know, it's those kind of things that you know will really get you Well, and being offered the senior discount I don't know if you've had that happen.

00:12:57.798 --> 00:12:59.041
No, not yet.

00:12:59.041 --> 00:12:59.662
But recently.

00:12:59.662 --> 00:13:02.447
Oh, that's something too.

00:13:02.486 --> 00:13:04.697
Yeah, it was I have heard from friends.

00:13:04.999 --> 00:13:08.937
I have a decent amount of friends who are just a few years older than I am and they're, like you, hit 50.

00:13:09.418 --> 00:13:13.567
And those AARP things start showing up in the mailbox Yep.

00:13:15.035 --> 00:13:18.745
Which you know, whatever, but okay, so we could riff off of this.

00:13:18.745 --> 00:13:29.967
So, within the vein of this right, we're sitting here talking and bemoaning our blood pressure medication and other things that may or may not be insulting to us.

00:13:29.967 --> 00:13:51.407
One of the things that I really admire about you, in the work that you do, is you have such a thorough understanding about scripture and you walk so closely with God in this that you can turn everything back to him with the knowledge like with the true, deep, well-earned knowledge of all of this.

00:13:51.407 --> 00:14:04.087
I know that you have guided a lot of women along in healing their body image issues with the help, in tandem, locking arms with Jesus, or probably with him leading the way.

00:14:04.087 --> 00:14:05.740
Now you're doing this with aging.

00:14:05.740 --> 00:14:08.524
So we've talked about body image and now you're doing this aging.

00:14:08.524 --> 00:14:10.120
So tell me some more about that.

00:14:11.062 --> 00:14:13.039
Yeah, and you know, I don't again.

00:14:13.039 --> 00:14:14.544
I think I got here by accident.

00:14:15.514 --> 00:14:17.616
I aged my way into it, apparently.

00:14:17.616 --> 00:14:33.230
But aging issues and body image issues are really all connected, right, they're all kind of our response to I'm going to say discontent, and I know that might be kind of a controversial way to phrase it, but it is.

00:14:33.230 --> 00:14:42.101
It's a discus, like I wish my body looked different or I wish my body wasn't aging in this particular way.

00:14:42.101 --> 00:14:53.100
I mean, I think there's a lot of women that that maybe their body image issues are kind of like you know, I don't know, I'm gonna say like a low buzz for their, you know, 20s, 30s, into their 40s.

00:14:53.100 --> 00:15:01.783
Then all of a sudden, like the volume gets turned up and they're like, whoa, now, now, I need some help, now I need some perspective.

00:15:01.783 --> 00:15:03.427
What do I do, you know?

00:15:03.427 --> 00:15:14.203
And then there's the other factor that for some of us I mean I, you know, I think I would be in this category somewhat I had a lot more control over what my body did.

00:15:14.323 --> 00:15:20.419
It felt like not in reality, but it felt like, oh, if I gained a little bit of weight, I could just do something.

00:15:20.419 --> 00:15:27.946
And especially when I was entrenched in diet culture, right, it was like every body problem had a diet culture solution.

00:15:27.946 --> 00:15:29.235
You want to fix this part.

00:15:29.235 --> 00:15:30.378
You do this exercise.

00:15:30.378 --> 00:15:31.299
You want to fix your.

00:15:31.299 --> 00:15:33.085
You know this weight.

00:15:33.085 --> 00:15:34.467
You do this diet.

00:15:35.735 --> 00:15:37.461
Aging makes it a little bit more complicated.

00:15:37.461 --> 00:15:46.225
I mean, we got some aging creams, we got some wrinkle cream, and then all the rest of the advice sounds pretty similar to the advice that we heard through our 20s, 30s and 40s.

00:15:46.225 --> 00:15:59.847
I mean, yes, there's a special, you know, focus on your hormone way to diet or lose the belly, or whatever my Instagram feed ads say, but at the end of the day, it's still just.

00:15:59.847 --> 00:16:01.038
This is a heart issue.

00:16:01.038 --> 00:16:23.398
This is a heart issue and in my heart, I'm saying, either God, I don't love the way you made my body, or God, like, I'm really kind of frustrated that my body is aging in this way, and and in that I'm not placing blame on anyone right, these are thoughts that I have had, that I'm sure that you have had.

00:16:23.398 --> 00:16:26.836
Maybe we didn't say it in that exact same way, right, but but there are thoughts that are there.

00:16:27.538 --> 00:16:34.797
But the reality is just recognizing the truth of wait a second, how was I made?

00:16:34.797 --> 00:16:38.445
What was I made for Right?

00:16:38.445 --> 00:16:46.125
And recognizing that culture around us is saying you were made to look good or look your best, right.

00:16:46.125 --> 00:16:47.227
How were you made?

00:16:47.227 --> 00:16:59.207
Well, you were made in such a way that, if you were doing everything right, like you would, you know, have this certain body type and this certain body size, like I write about this in my workbook, actually.

00:16:59.715 --> 00:17:09.526
But it's really interesting, if you think about the reality, that a lot of the advice we get around how we should look sounds a lot like how we would describe plastic.

00:17:09.526 --> 00:17:29.395
Right, Plastic is smooth and it's firm, right, it's solid, right, but our bodies are not plastic, right, and so for us to expect them to be smooth and firm and solid is really to kind of ignore part of God's design for us.

00:17:29.395 --> 00:17:38.690
Right, like my belly will get bigger after I eat, and God designed it that way so that I could have some room to digest.

00:17:38.690 --> 00:17:41.461
That's not this serious issue.

00:17:41.461 --> 00:17:43.204
That's not anything to be embarrassed about.

00:17:43.204 --> 00:17:44.915
That's just the way he designed me.

00:17:45.317 --> 00:17:48.565
And so same thing with aging.

00:17:48.565 --> 00:17:49.346
What if?

00:17:49.346 --> 00:17:56.182
And I heard this on a podcast when I was doing research for the book but what if?

00:17:56.182 --> 00:18:19.164
Of, like begrudging the fact that most women around 50 start to get more weight around the middle right, which, again, the Instagram ads tell us is we're going to kill us, like we're killing ourselves by allowing that to happen, even though pretty much every woman I know in this age range has that happen, no matter what size she started out at 70% is the number I've heard from Amanda Thieb.

00:18:19.385 --> 00:18:20.769
Yeah, 70%, yeah.

00:18:21.255 --> 00:18:25.246
But what if that's the natural way we age?

00:18:25.246 --> 00:18:28.996
And what if there's some protective element to that that?

00:18:28.996 --> 00:18:35.603
What I heard was that, instead of thinking about it as a spare tire, you should think about it as a life preserver.

00:18:35.603 --> 00:18:45.988
As they spare tire, you should think about it as a life preserver Because, as our estrogen levels drop, the body is sending more protective fat to where our vital organs are.

00:18:45.988 --> 00:18:48.176
And when I heard that I was like, well, you know what?

00:18:48.176 --> 00:18:51.424
I guess that's nothing to be upset about.

00:18:51.424 --> 00:19:09.507
So yeah, I mean that was kind of a long winded, meandering way to talk about it, but there's a lot of similarities between body image and aging and really I just hope to walk women on a journey where they will recognize that there's nothing shameful or wrong about aging.

00:19:09.507 --> 00:19:13.463
God didn't make a mistake with the way your body's aging.

00:19:13.463 --> 00:19:14.445
It's okay.

00:19:15.208 --> 00:19:19.576
Right with the way your body's aging, it's okay, right?

00:19:19.576 --> 00:19:23.262
I had this realization the other day and I shared this a bit with my Grace Health Plus subscribers.

00:19:23.262 --> 00:19:30.965
But if I think about like, say, lord willing, I keep saying like I want to live till I'm 90.

00:19:30.965 --> 00:19:34.921
Now I don't know if that's God's plan for me, but say that that's aligned with what God has for me, right?

00:19:34.921 --> 00:19:39.009
So if I'm thinking about, okay, what does Amy look like at age 90?

00:19:39.009 --> 00:19:42.919
Well, she's definitely going to have more wrinkles.

00:19:42.919 --> 00:19:45.144
She probably will have gone all gray by then.

00:19:45.144 --> 00:19:57.242
She's going to have, you know, sagging skin and tube socks for boobs and like all of the things, right, I'm not going to wake up one day when I'm 90 and be that way.

00:19:58.085 --> 00:20:02.700
There is a natural gradual process to get there.

00:20:02.700 --> 00:20:13.290
So at nearly 50, I can look at 90 year old Amy again, god willing, and be like, okay, all right, you made it to 90, sister, well done.

00:20:13.290 --> 00:20:17.401
I hope you're thriving and feeling and functioning well, cause you know, those are two words that I use a lot here.

00:20:17.401 --> 00:20:24.722
I gotta, I gotta work my way there and it's, it is a gift, and I was, I just was listening to.

00:20:24.722 --> 00:20:36.891
I say just, this was a couple months ago, by the time this comes out, I was giving this example on my show that Kate Bowler and Beth Moore were talking on Kate's podcast and Kate was saying how aging is a gift.

00:20:36.971 --> 00:20:40.242
And I don't know if you know Kate, but she has been, yeah, working.

00:20:40.242 --> 00:20:46.183
I mean, she was diagnosed with stage four colon cancer at like 33 or something and thank you God she's cancer free now.

00:20:46.183 --> 00:20:53.824
But like that's a gift and so we have to, we've got to give ourselves that grace, that that space to be able to do that.

00:20:53.824 --> 00:21:00.259
The other thing, too, that Amanda Thieb taught us she is author of the book Menopocalypse.

00:21:00.259 --> 00:21:05.057
It is not a faith-based book, but it is a wonderful book on aging and offline.

00:21:05.057 --> 00:21:07.986
I said a lot of your nutrition stuff is kind of intuitive, eating-based.

00:21:07.986 --> 00:21:11.700
She said, yeah, it's aligned with it.

00:21:11.700 --> 00:21:18.269
So, because I know you and I, that's been part of our journey as well, you and I have both transitioned, I think, really kind of, since we knew each other.

00:21:18.269 --> 00:21:26.212
But she was saying that this age group is I can't remember if it's the first or second most prevalent age group for having eating disorders.

00:21:26.232 --> 00:21:26.575
Oh, I believe that.

00:21:26.575 --> 00:21:28.135
Well, there's, it's called.

00:21:28.135 --> 00:21:41.861
Oh goodness, it's elderly anorexia is what I think they're calling it for, even like our moms that are aging, you know, in their in their 70s, 80s and now my mom's 75.

00:21:42.895 --> 00:21:48.307
And it's in that that was the first generation to diet Really.

00:21:48.307 --> 00:21:53.366
I mean, they're the Richard Simmons aerobics Weight Watchers founding, like that's their generation.

00:21:53.366 --> 00:21:55.601
In fact, amy, I'm going to show this on my show.

00:21:55.601 --> 00:22:42.086
But my mother-in-law, who I don't think has ever been more than five pounds more than you know what would be comfortable for her body we just moved her from her home into a retirement facility and I'm going through her stuff, getting her packed up, and in her box of her most precious things you know her father's obituary, you know pictures of the kids at their birth, these kind of things is her Weight Watchers lifetime membership material, and we had to have a conversation about whether or not she could throw away her Weight Watchers Lifetime membership card and so to tie this back to aging, it's like she doesn't.

00:22:42.086 --> 00:23:00.088
It's so funny how entrenched these ideas around keeping a certain size, keeping a certain look, we don't age out of them unless, to your point, we are intentional about addressing them as we age.

00:23:00.955 --> 00:23:07.337
Yeah, I mean, if you think our neurological patterns automatically revert back to that, it's a lot of work getting out.

00:23:07.337 --> 00:23:17.327
That's even more so true for them, and I have a lot of women in that age group in my community and some of them have been kind enough to share that struggle with me.

00:23:17.327 --> 00:23:18.277
And so it is.

00:23:18.277 --> 00:23:19.579
It is a real thing.

00:23:19.579 --> 00:23:26.530
And so if you're listening and that's you, I just I mean Heather and I are, I think, are just sitting here saying, of course it makes sense.

00:23:26.530 --> 00:23:35.405
It makes sense that you're feeling that way, and I think that this is a good segue into talking about the core of this devotional.

00:23:35.405 --> 00:23:47.748
It is a list of 30 devotionals on aging gratefully, that's the name of it, and you talk a lot about choosing praise while we age.

00:23:47.748 --> 00:24:04.196
So walk us through that, and I would love it if you I mean, I know that we have you gave us wonderful examples in here but what are some practical ways that we can choose to praise as we are noticing these things that might bother us?

00:24:04.237 --> 00:24:05.741
Yeah, yeah.

00:24:05.741 --> 00:24:10.415
Well, you know I'll just kind of back up like why did I call the book aging gratefully?

00:24:11.117 --> 00:24:11.939
Because it's brilliant.

00:24:11.939 --> 00:24:12.279
That's why.

00:24:13.781 --> 00:24:25.037
Because I realized, realized like I had come so far in my body image struggles, but I was still kind of disparaging the thought of aging, right, Like that was just a hurdle I hadn't cleared yet.

00:24:25.037 --> 00:24:29.479
And now you know, the book was not designed to be about body image, so it goes beyond that.

00:24:29.479 --> 00:24:33.377
I mean, I talk about, you know, being an empty nester, which I haven't even experienced yet.

00:24:33.377 --> 00:24:40.390
But I talk about just this reality that even in the church we can sometimes feel like we've aged out of relevance.

00:24:40.390 --> 00:24:48.556
Right, we don't have anything else to offer because we're not the 30-year-old mover and shaker anymore who everyone wants to lead something.

00:24:48.556 --> 00:24:55.057
But yet that's the wrong attitude and really not an attitude or anything we see evidenced in Scripture.

00:24:55.840 --> 00:25:02.047
But I talk about praise because there's a Christian song and I just heard the line this morning and I can't think about it.

00:25:02.047 --> 00:25:08.173
But it's like praise won't solve your problem, but it'll show you how small you are.

00:25:08.173 --> 00:25:32.269
I'm butchering his line just a little bit, but that's the principle, right, Like praise isn't necessarily going to zap me skinny by tomorrow morning, right, it's probably not going to work at all, but it'll show me, it'll show my heart that God is big and that God is good and that he still has a good plan for my life.

00:25:32.269 --> 00:25:48.721
And this little problem of extra weight around the middle or whatever aging quote unquote symptom there is, it's not really a problem in the scheme of knowing him and in the scheme of what he has for me to do.

00:25:48.721 --> 00:25:52.009
Right, he made my body on purpose, for a purpose.

00:25:52.009 --> 00:25:55.078
He is not surprised that I'm aging.

00:25:55.078 --> 00:25:57.906
He's not like oh no, now we're out of ideas.

00:26:00.115 --> 00:26:03.442
It happened to her to put her on the bench right.

00:26:03.442 --> 00:26:05.404
No, like, it's not that at all.

00:26:05.404 --> 00:26:12.729
So in everything, every part of aging that we experienced, I've got my left shoulder.

00:26:12.729 --> 00:26:19.344
Oh, goodness gracious, I don't know what it is, but my left shoulder it's not happy with me right now in this season of life.

00:26:19.344 --> 00:26:27.276
You know, and I'll go back to like, okay, I'm going to start doing strength training and then, you know, three days and my left shoulder is like, not with me, you're not.

00:26:27.276 --> 00:26:29.457
So, you know.

00:26:29.537 --> 00:26:47.683
But but being able to be like, hey, you know, god, I'm going to praise you anyway, like, thank you, thank you for the mobility I do have, even if I'm not able to lift that weight over my head on the left side, like, I want to Thank you that I can still move my arm, thank you that I can still type and I can still carry things.

00:26:47.683 --> 00:26:55.587
So you know, praising him, no matter what the circumstances, no matter what the ailment is.

00:26:55.587 --> 00:27:00.630
You know, it's really like Paul said, right, we use Philippians 4.13 out of context.

00:27:00.630 --> 00:27:01.650
I think it's Philippians 4.13.

00:27:01.650 --> 00:27:06.051
I am so bad with numbers, amy, but the I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me verse.

00:27:06.051 --> 00:27:08.893
Sometimes I get my numbers mixed up, but I think it's 4.13.

00:27:09.334 --> 00:27:14.501
Yes and yes, that is the one but like if you look at the context of that scripture.

00:27:15.222 --> 00:27:16.886
That scripture is really about being content.

00:27:16.886 --> 00:27:18.155
Right, it's not.

00:27:18.155 --> 00:27:18.778
I can do all things.

00:27:18.778 --> 00:27:21.041
Through Christ, I can go lift that 27 pound weight.

00:27:21.041 --> 00:27:26.852
There's no such thing as a 27 pound weight, 30 pound weight over my head with my left arm right.

00:27:26.852 --> 00:27:28.060
It's not about that.

00:27:28.060 --> 00:27:35.509
It's that I can be content with whatever my body is willing to do or struggling with day to day.

00:27:36.335 --> 00:27:37.396
Yeah, that's so good.

00:27:37.396 --> 00:27:57.707
That's good encouragement for me too, because, as this is coming out, as this episode is coming out, I am releasing this book for teen girls and, if I'm honest, between you and me, I have had a lot of internal dialogue that is not of God.

00:27:57.707 --> 00:28:02.422
That has said things like these teen girls are not going to listen to you.

00:28:02.422 --> 00:28:05.030
You've got too many wrinkles.

00:28:05.030 --> 00:28:06.916
You're just another mom to them.

00:28:06.916 --> 00:28:08.141
Who are you?

00:28:08.141 --> 00:28:08.962
Who are you?

00:28:09.284 --> 00:28:14.337
To do this, they need someone young and cute and energetic and all of that.

00:28:14.337 --> 00:28:35.505
And I think that my application, as I'm continuing to learn from you, is just praising God for this process and for the words that he has put through my fingers, that I hope to get to it and God will do what he needs to do with it.

00:28:35.505 --> 00:28:36.768
So that's so.

00:28:36.768 --> 00:28:44.200
Thank you for all of that, because that is good encouragement for me, and I do need it because that's something that's somewhere that I feel very vulnerable.

00:28:44.200 --> 00:28:58.461
If I'm totally honest, and why, in my podcast for teen girls called lessons to my teenage self, I'm right in bringing on young women, because I thought they're gonna need a little bit of more Gen Z in their life, not so much of the Xer.

00:28:58.461 --> 00:29:11.919
Yeah, I get it and then and then I really if what I would love to do is commiserate on all the ways that I feel like I'm aging out of things, including fashion mostly oh, oh, I get that.

00:29:12.019 --> 00:29:15.884
You know, I used to wonder why my mom didn't shop in the junior's department, and now I understand.

00:29:15.884 --> 00:29:19.628
So it's like Mom, like why don't you wear the cool clothes?

00:29:19.788 --> 00:29:21.951
But now I get it.

00:29:21.951 --> 00:29:27.516
Yeah, now I get it.

00:29:27.516 --> 00:29:35.843
I know, I know, yeah, aging out of a lot of different things, but this is, I will turn my thoughts to positive pure, lovely, kind, gentle, generous, not like oh, what was me?

00:29:36.523 --> 00:29:38.925
Well, we disqualify ourselves, right?

00:29:38.925 --> 00:29:43.931
I mean by listening to the enemy we disqualify ourselves, and you know, not just with aging.

00:29:43.931 --> 00:29:47.175
I see this happen with body magicians all the time, like I meet women that are like you know.

00:29:47.175 --> 00:29:53.675
I know God's wanted me to like start a Bible study or, you know, be part of the worship team, and as soon as I lose 20 pounds, I'm going to do that.

00:29:53.675 --> 00:30:08.441
God's not given you a pass for those two decades that he wanted to use you and you disqualified yourself.

00:30:08.441 --> 00:30:15.010
I mean reading through the Bible and starting in Genesis every year, right, like Moses disqualified himself.

00:30:15.010 --> 00:30:21.487
And God's like nope, okay, you don't want to talk, I'll give you Aaron.

00:30:21.487 --> 00:30:25.833
He doesn't choose the qualified, he qualifies the chosen, right.

00:30:25.833 --> 00:30:35.365
And so you and I are here for a purpose on purpose, right, if we do what he's asked us to do, and we worry, we don't worry, we leave the results up to him.

00:30:36.288 --> 00:30:37.692
Amen, oh yeah, that's so good.

00:30:37.692 --> 00:30:55.392
So we're talking about this and it's funny because we're we're kind of going back and forth on, like I know I need to praise and I've got the enemy in my head and I'm going to show you to like this, this back and forth right, this very natural struggle that most of us, if not all of us, go through.

00:30:55.392 --> 00:31:16.508
Why do you think we forget to choose gratefulness and to be grateful as we age and for the different seasons that we are going through, or different relationship changes, or I mean, we've talked a lot about body but, like you said, there's so many other ways that to reframe that.

00:31:16.548 --> 00:31:16.848
So why?

00:31:16.929 --> 00:31:18.553
is it so hard to be grateful for that?

00:31:20.402 --> 00:31:31.993
I think we forget to be grateful because we believe the lies all around us and I'm going to call them the lies of idols that tell us true happiness is wearing this size.

00:31:31.993 --> 00:31:34.146
True happiness is having this kind of house.

00:31:34.146 --> 00:31:37.750
True happiness is having children who act like this.

00:31:37.750 --> 00:31:41.931
You know, true happiness is my son gets into this special college, right?

00:31:41.931 --> 00:31:43.726
True happiness is true happiness.

00:31:43.726 --> 00:31:48.141
Is this special college, right?

00:31:48.141 --> 00:31:49.323
True happiness is.

00:31:49.323 --> 00:31:49.864
True happiness is.

00:31:49.884 --> 00:31:55.694
And I think aging is a fabulous opportunity for us to stop and be like wow, god has been with me for you and I, 50 years.

00:31:55.694 --> 00:32:00.987
He has walked on a path with me for 50 years.

00:32:00.987 --> 00:32:04.592
Even when I didn't know it or acknowledge it, he was still with me.

00:32:04.592 --> 00:32:06.795
He's taken care of me.

00:32:06.795 --> 00:32:12.028
Everything that has happened in my life he's been there.

00:32:12.028 --> 00:32:15.433
Every good gift is from him.

00:32:15.433 --> 00:32:17.000
And so we're like.

00:32:17.122 --> 00:32:23.692
50 to me is a beautiful time to pause and be like wow, I guess I really can trust him.

00:32:23.692 --> 00:32:26.959
Like wow, I guess I really can trust him.

00:32:26.959 --> 00:32:36.332
But all the voices around us, all those influencers, are saying what you really need to trust is in my plan, that'll get you into a hot body at 50.

00:32:36.332 --> 00:32:39.537
And then, oh, then, you'll be feeling good, right, right.

00:32:39.537 --> 00:32:50.310
And now I do think the blessing of age, amy, is that I'm able to say, oh wait, but I tried that at 20, at 21, at 22.

00:32:50.310 --> 00:32:53.388
I tried that for 30 years and it didn't work.

00:32:53.388 --> 00:32:58.632
Maybe now I can pause and be like, okay, there's another way.

00:32:58.632 --> 00:33:15.451
So that contentedness, I think, our ability to have gratitude for where we're at, I think that our ability to have gratitude for where we're at, I think comes from our maturity and being able to pause and acknowledge all the ways that the Lord has been with us.

00:33:17.119 --> 00:33:17.701
That's wonderful.

00:33:17.701 --> 00:33:28.023
That's such great encouragement and wisdom and I just love that you do that, and I love that you do that in aging gratefully.

00:33:28.023 --> 00:33:33.136
So, heather, this is what I want you to know, as I have.

00:33:33.136 --> 00:33:47.674
I have not gotten a chance to read through all of it, but I've gotten a chance to read through enough of it that, as I am reading, I am sitting here thinking how can I get one copy of this in every single person's hands who walks in the doors of Grace Health?

00:33:47.674 --> 00:33:55.953
Because what you have created is such a compliment to what we're doing here.

00:33:55.953 --> 00:34:13.088
It has so much more wisdom, biblical, scriptural truth, because that's just part of where you are and I so emphatically encourage everybody to grab one of these and I don't I don't say that very often, but this is one.

00:34:14.130 --> 00:34:16.181
You guys, you have got to get this.

00:34:16.181 --> 00:34:32.750
It is, it is rich, it is lovely, it is funny, it is authentic, and I know so many of you have struggled with a lot of the things that we're talking about, because we're all about resilient aging here.

00:34:32.750 --> 00:34:34.422
You want to age resiliently.

00:34:34.422 --> 00:34:38.112
Grab this book and no, heather's not paying me to say this.

00:34:38.112 --> 00:34:45.728
It's wonderful, heather, it's wonderful, it's wonderful, thank you.

00:34:45.728 --> 00:34:47.742
Thank you for putting this out.

00:34:47.742 --> 00:34:55.789
It's going to bless people, yeah, so is there anything more besides my little monologue there about what you would like to tell people about, gratefully?

00:34:55.869 --> 00:34:56.190
Aging.

00:34:56.190 --> 00:35:02.851
Yeah, you know, it was a journey for me, right?

00:35:02.851 --> 00:35:21.201
And I say that with every book, right, I feel like every book God takes me on a journey and for me, this was my journey into this season of aging and really questioning like, wow, like there's a lot of change coming right and change whoo, that's hard.

00:35:21.201 --> 00:35:22.527
That's never been my favorite thing.

00:35:23.190 --> 00:35:24.454
Yeah, I think we're done.

00:35:24.454 --> 00:35:27.043
I don't think turning 50 means that we're done changing.

00:35:27.043 --> 00:35:28.106
I think there's more to come.

00:35:28.387 --> 00:35:45.052
Right, and I had a woman I think it was on my show I, you know, maybe I was on her show and she said I don't remember, but it was this week and she said that she heard the statistic that women will change bra sizes seven times over the course of their life and I thought that was like hilarious.

00:35:45.052 --> 00:36:00.784
And then I was like, oh yeah, I'm probably on like number five, so maybe I'm gonna beat that seven average, but I you know there's more change coming and so what does it look like to not face it, like culture tells us to face it?

00:36:00.784 --> 00:36:05.956
Like freak out, you know, panic or just be angry about it.

00:36:05.956 --> 00:36:06.177
I don't.

00:36:06.177 --> 00:36:07.701
I love the holderness family.

00:36:07.701 --> 00:36:09.766
I think that they do hilarious videos.

00:36:09.766 --> 00:36:11.851
I don't know if you know who they are, kim and pen.

00:36:11.851 --> 00:36:14.744
They they do funny parody videos.

00:36:14.744 --> 00:36:16.809
He, yeah, she just did one.

00:36:17.010 --> 00:36:23.027
She did one on perimenopause, menopause yes, and it was hilarious, right.

00:36:23.027 --> 00:36:27.987
Yes, and she, and she said at the end she kind of like rambles about it she said her husband wrote it in like four seconds.

00:36:27.987 --> 00:36:31.027
He like knew all her symptoms.

00:36:31.027 --> 00:36:50.606
But I think the more we can talk about this, right, and that's why you're doing such great work talking about this Like we don't hear it enough that the change is normal and that we'll be okay through the change, all we hear is be prepared.

00:36:50.606 --> 00:36:52.670
The worst of the end is coming.

00:36:52.670 --> 00:36:55.943
You know, fight it, fight it, fight it Right.

00:36:55.943 --> 00:36:57.045
And so I don't know.

00:36:57.045 --> 00:37:10.307
I just hope that this book is a resource that will help us embrace it might be too strong of a term for some, but will help us walk through it knowing we're not alone and that it's normal and we're okay.

00:37:11.030 --> 00:37:12.793
Right, right, maybe be content.

00:37:12.793 --> 00:37:16.027
Right with it, right, yeah, no, that's great.

00:37:16.027 --> 00:37:18.572
Okay, heather, I've got some questions.

00:37:18.572 --> 00:37:22.085
I asked all my guests and I have to admit I don't remember that.

00:37:22.085 --> 00:37:23.268
Your answer to the first one.

00:37:23.389 --> 00:37:24.050
Okay.

00:37:24.190 --> 00:37:26.014
Yep, you did ask it before I did.

00:37:26.014 --> 00:37:27.317
Okay, I'm so sorry, I don't remember that.

00:37:27.317 --> 00:37:28.057
Your answer to the first one.

00:37:28.057 --> 00:37:28.840
Okay, yes, yep, you did ask it before.

00:37:30.559 --> 00:37:30.659
I did.

00:37:30.659 --> 00:37:33.106
Okay, I'm so sorry I don't remember that Season nine was a long time ago by the way we're on season 20.

00:37:33.166 --> 00:37:34.590
I get it Okay, so you know the question.

00:37:34.590 --> 00:37:36.760
I love learning about people's tattoos.

00:37:36.760 --> 00:37:43.690
I don't have one, but what I found is when people get a tattoo, they often do it with purpose or meaning.

00:37:43.690 --> 00:37:45.773
So do you have any tattoos?

00:37:45.773 --> 00:37:47.476
And if so, what is it?

00:37:47.476 --> 00:37:47.900
And if you?

00:37:47.900 --> 00:37:52.802
But if you had to get one and you don't have one, but you had to get one what would it be and where would it go?

00:37:53.003 --> 00:37:59.402
Yeah, so if I do not have any and if I had to get one, I think I might show this exact same answer.

00:37:59.402 --> 00:38:00.563
So hopefully I'm being consistent.

00:38:00.563 --> 00:38:02.827
My husband and I talked about it.

00:38:02.827 --> 00:38:09.456
I think the Duck Dynasty people did this, so it was an original idea getting wedding ring tattoos, you know, because it would be easier to work out.

00:38:09.456 --> 00:38:20.112
Yes, you didn't have to wear your ring, so that's that's probably the only place in my body that I would not be as scared, although I don't know, fingers are kind of sensitive, aren't they?

00:38:20.112 --> 00:38:24.436
I like the whole concept of getting a tattoo scares me a little bit.

00:38:24.436 --> 00:38:25.780
I'll be honest, I don't like pain.

00:38:26.041 --> 00:38:26.744
I like that idea.

00:38:26.744 --> 00:38:27.266
It's funny.

00:38:27.266 --> 00:38:30.036
I will spend a lot of my Sunday mornings.

00:38:30.036 --> 00:38:39.181
I get up early, I go to the track, I do a track workout and then I go to church and often there is a gentleman there.

00:38:39.181 --> 00:38:44.972
The only thing I know about him is his name is Kevin, because I'm a weird person.

00:38:44.972 --> 00:38:48.409
When I see someone more than about two times I'm like hey, I see you, I haven't met you.

00:38:48.409 --> 00:38:54.621
My name is Amy, so all I know is his name is Kevin, and I'm often there by myself, and he's often there by himself and and I.

00:38:54.961 --> 00:38:59.807
It occurred to me that I take my rings off when I sleep, when I go to bed, and I don't put them back on until I shower.

00:38:59.807 --> 00:39:03.893
And I thought, oh man, I hope he's not hitting on him.

00:39:03.893 --> 00:39:05.635
Oh, what's your name?

00:39:05.635 --> 00:39:08.826
Tattoo wedding ring would probably be good.

00:39:08.826 --> 00:39:14.831
I'm not being flirtatious, but I'm being friendly and you know things are received a lot differently.

00:39:14.831 --> 00:39:16.862
That would probably be helpful.

00:39:16.862 --> 00:39:27.728
Okay, all right, heather, tell people how they can connect with you and where, however, you want to do that, and then where they can buy the book Aging Gratefully.

00:39:27.807 --> 00:39:32.391
Yeah, so you can connect with me at improvebodyimagecom.

00:39:32.391 --> 00:39:50.532
My podcast is called Compared to who, but my courses and my coaching and really information about all of my books and any like bonuses and such are at improvebodyimagecom and then the book is published by Our Daily Bread so you can actually go to them if you're already.

00:39:50.532 --> 00:39:51.315
You know part.

00:39:51.315 --> 00:39:53.284
A lot of people get the Our Daily Bread devotionals.

00:39:53.284 --> 00:39:57.523
If you're already on their list, you'll probably start getting information about this book soon.

00:39:57.523 --> 00:40:00.170
But you can get it on Amazon and everywhere books are sold.

00:40:01.019 --> 00:40:01.981
All right, that sounds good.

00:40:01.981 --> 00:40:05.364
Okay, do you have a meaningful Bible verse that you would like to share?

00:40:06.085 --> 00:40:08.650
Oh, there's so many meaningful Bible verses.

00:40:08.650 --> 00:40:13.735
You know I always talk about Jonah 2.8.

00:40:13.735 --> 00:40:20.969
Those who pay attention to vain idols forsake all hope of steadfast love.

00:40:20.969 --> 00:40:31.748
And it's a verse that you know spoken as Jonah's in the belly of the whale, so he's kind of already had his come to Jesus moment, if you will.

00:40:31.748 --> 00:40:39.137
And to me this is just a reminder that, oh, when I get so caught up in, oh, I wish I looked different.

00:40:39.137 --> 00:40:43.969
Oh, I wish I didn't have so many forehead wrinkles, oh, I wish my stomach looked different.

00:40:43.969 --> 00:40:45.813
Right, it's no, no, no, no.

00:40:45.813 --> 00:40:46.012
No.

00:40:46.012 --> 00:40:49.545
Steadfast love comes from the father.

00:40:49.545 --> 00:40:59.831
I'm not earning it right, and as I chase the lies of these idols, I'm actually getting further from him rather than getting closer to him.

00:40:59.831 --> 00:41:10.385
And if the one thing I truly desire is that love, that unconditional love, chasing these idols aren't going to get me any closer to it.

00:41:11.286 --> 00:41:15.418

The Unspoken Liberation of Aging Authentically with Heather Creekmore

Listen On

Recent Episodes