EP91 - Reiki, Resilience and Reconnection - Jenn Gardner's Healing Journey

Welcome to Hard Beautiful Journey, where we embrace vulnerability as our superpower and let courage light our path. I'm Tiff Carson, here to share heartfelt stories of healing, grief, and resilience. Each week, I'll talk with guests from experts to everyday heroes about their journeys through adversity. Together, we'll uncover the beauty that emerges from life's challenges. And how each experience can spark profound growth. Join us on this courageous journey of connection and transformation.to HardI'm Tiff Carson.Welcomeback to Hard Beautiful Journey. I haven't been behind the mic since about April and it's because I've been a little bit busy, but, um, I wanted to start this podcast off this season. With it being a live podcast and part of the interview with my next guest will explain why that happened She might have had something to do with it or part of the reason why I'm doing this and I'm super grateful To herobviously saw fromwe're gonna do this messy as you obviously saw from that beginning I need to work on that a little bit But the reason why I want to do it Live is because I honestly don't have time to do the behind the scenes stuff like I used to doreason why iswith the post production and the reason why is because I am starting to really focus on speaking And I had the incredible honor of going to my hometown of Shaunavin, Saskatchewan last week and delivering two keynotes, one to the high school students, which was so So incredible. And then to some beautiful community members. And I can honestly say it was actually one of the highlights of my life. It was So incredible. I was super nervous, um, but I feel really good about it. so that is why we're doing this now,withbut let's get to today's episode with my friend, Jennifer Gardner. I have known this woman since high school. And I recently reconnected with her and you'll soon see why my heart is so happy to have her in my life again.survivor andWho is Jen? Jen is a resilient survivor and dedicated mom of two. She is passionate about living a life filled with purpose and healing. As a fitness instructor, she empowers others to tap into their physical strength while embracing the power of holistic wellness.exploration hasHer journey of personal growth and spiritual exploration has made her a beacon of inspiration for those seeking balance and transformation. Beyond her fitness and healing work, she's an avid traveler. in exploring the world and its diverse cultures with a deep belief in the body's ability to heal and the spirit's capacity to thrive, Jen tries to make an impact in the lives of others, both near and far. So welcome to the screen, Jen. Please hold. There she is. It worked. It worked. Hold on. Yay. I can hear you. Can you hear me now? I can hear you. Yeah. You can still hear me. This is working. Oh my gosh. Perfect. Jen, Jen, Jen, Jen. I am so happy that you are my first guest on this live journey thing that I'm doing. And before we get into your journey, I'm going to tell people how I got back into your life. Okay.Facebook like SoAbsolutely. I was scrolling Facebook like I sometimes do, and I don't see all the Jen's posts. You know how the algorithm has a pain in the ass and I don't see a lot of what people post, but I know the universe and God do things in really cool ways. And all of a sudden, this post comes up from Jen that she is starting to do Reiki and tarot readings. And I was just like, wow.And I listen to that nudge now all the time. And something nudged me to say, reach out to Jen and get this done. And so I did. And I got a Reiki session and a tarot reading from you a couple months ago.that you pulled some it was in that reading that you pulled some cards for me. You did an amazing Reiki session and I, there was stuff coming out of my head, right? Remember that? It was like burning up. weAnd, uh, that? is when we talked about doing my podcast again and getting behind the mic. and doing it messy. And I listened to you. Are you proud. of me? So very proud.couldReally, truly amazing. I could not, um, get it out of my head after I saw you. I was like, okay, no, I need to do this because I need to get back behind the mic and talk to people. That have really impactful stories that can help other human beings and you are definitely one of them. And I remember when I left, I was like, no, she needs to be my first guest for sure on this episode. And here you are. So thank you for being here, Jen. Thank you so much, Tish. That's absolutely beautiful. I so enjoyed our time together and reconnecting and your session was Not my incredible. Yeah. So I'm glad you took my advice. Not my advice, the universe's advice.we are today.And here we are today. I love it. And here we are today. And so let's get into your hard, beautiful journey. And let's talk about five years ago. Was it five or six years now? Uh, just over five. Just over five. So let's talk about your cancer diagnosis and how, how that all came to be. And we'll go from there. Sure. so five years ago in June, I, found a, well, it was actually two years before that I found like a bit of a mass on my left breast. And, it came out of nowhere, like it was just not there one day and then they're the next and I went to the doctor and, sent me for, um, mammogram and it just said it was, I've always had very dense, lumpy breasts and it said that, You know, we're just gonna monitor it. So I went back every six months for a little while. And they just kept saying, you know, we're just gonna monitor this. And then finally, it had gotten so big that I actually, there was like 100 percent chance in my head that it wasn't cancer because it was so big. I was like, there's no way, like we learn in school that, you know, you find like a pea sized thing. And it was protruding, um,went for a biopsy. Lo and behold, it came back and. It was cancer. So, uh, 10 was really quick. 10 days later, I was in the hospital, um, having my full left mastectomy. It came back that it was a 17. 5 centimeterCrazy.tumor.yeah! Holy crap. Crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Massive. Yeah. It pretty much took up my whole left breast. So, a couple months, I was in chemo. Um, I was, I had a great plan, greatoncologist. Um, I'd gone for scans. I've been cleared to get chemo. it was a stage three tumor, so they were going to do four months of chemo. It was very intense. And then a month in to my, chemo,some reason,an angel radiologist, for some reason, I got a nudge to look back at a scan of mine, because there was a teeny, teeny, teeny, tiny, I guess something that they didn't love on there. So she went back inall over my spine. Soand found that it had metastasized all over my spine. So now I was re diagnosed as metastatic breast cancer, cancer stage four.was hard. It was, The first diagnosis washard. The second diagnosis was devastating.the whole So, I continued on, did my chemo, the whole thing, lost all my hair, blah, blah, blah.I And I've always kind of used the mantra that I will accept your diagnosis,but I will not accept your prognosis And that's how I've kind of gone through the last five years of my life is just day to day understanding that healing is in my own hands.of the challenges that youIt is, um, so what were some of the challenges that you faced during your treatment and recovery?Yeah.treatment was interesting because chemo is ainto it verybeast of its own. I went into it very healthy, which is why I always got that like, Oh, you're so healthy. You know, I taught fitness. I drink my green juices every day. I you know, I, I, I was not very stressful. Um, so I went into chemo and it was hard, lost all my hair. Um, and especially after getting that second diagnosis, I I went in inside quite a bit. Like I I can't even explain howhmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm.at some point, but we don't live with it. We don't live with that, like, knowing that it's going to happen. So,why me? Like, I definitelywhile, I was very much, why me? Like, I definitely was, why am I doing, like, why is this happening to me? I've done everything right my whole life. I'm a good person.So,Ultimately, why is this happening? So, I think that was probably the biggest struggle, is the why. And I really had to understand that the letting go of the why was going to get me healthy. Because it didn't matter. what happened in the past happened. it didn't matter. Now I'm looking forward. Mm hmm, mm hmm, yeah. What was your family's initial reaction to this and how did theyWell, at thework through it?kindergarten Well, at the time, um, my son was in going into kindergarten and mydaughter was going into grade six. So, um, I think we, we, for them, we downplayed it a lot. Like, we just, you know, I didn't want this to to. you know, Rules run their lives. So we did a really Consciously made a really conscious effort to just be like, hey, mommy's gonna be okay. We're just gonna move forward, you know, this is what it's gonna be. I, don't know if you can hear my dog I going crazy right now um, I've been at Jen's house and this dog is actually obsessed with her. So if you want your dog to sit on your lap, bring your dog Well, I think he needs, this is the messy part. He needs water, so I'm just going to be back in one second. Absolutely. You're alive.dog, oh my gosh, Honestly, this dog, oh my gosh, when Jen got this dog, um, when she was going through her recovery, Honestly, this dog is attached to her and is so adorable. to be with you?Do you want to hold your dog? Does your dog want to. be with you? He'll come up here if he needs to, yeah. Okay. I'll honor him. Okay, back to my family. There's mine, too.we need ourOh, that's adorable.you know what?So, we need our dogs. So, yeah. You know what? It's one of these things, it really brought me and my husband together, really. a lot tighter too, because he was my person through the whole thing. And, what I couldn't do, he did for me. Like I couldn't,to look at books.refuse to Google anything or refuse to look at books. I did zero research into it. I just fully entrusted him that he knew.thatWhat was right for me in that sense, and I just focused on myself feeling good and feeling centered. So, yeah, it was a hard time.was your mostamazing. So what do you think was your most vulnerable momentdepths ofin the the depths of it, like the throes of it? And, How did you pull yourself through that?Well, doingit was interesting. when I was doing chemo,I was doing something.felt really good and I felt like I was doing something.thatIt was after.hard.that things got really, really hard.when I was inI think it was because when I was in treatment, everything wasdoing something. I was, likeand I felt like crap and, but I was actually doing something. I was like pro being proactive about it. and I was seeing my doctor every two weeks. And then after was the really hard part because now it was like, how do I live the rest of my life? However long that's going to be.can do this, feelingFeeling like I can do this feeling like Idark spiral, which II'm not going to go down that dark spiral, which I did. And I, and there was the, I did have a dark night of the soul where it was about two months after treatment. My hair was just growing back and everyone else's life went back to normal. So I'd had so much support during and everyone's life kind of moved on and went back to normal. And here I was trying to decide how I was going to live the rest of my life. And that's when. the. literal decision came either I'm doing this or I'm checking out. andthe decision toit wasokay,the decision to just, okay,to do with it?this is what the universe gave you. What are you going to do with it? And that's where the deep healing started. But that was vulnerable because this whole time I was like, why did this happen to me? It's so unfair. What a fluke, like, this is like, this doesn't, this isn't, this is unlucky.andSo then I had to start peeling back the onion and figure out why this happened And that for me was the most vulnerable because I had to look at some really, really hard, dark things in my life, A major shadow work started.to not cryWow, I'm trying to not cry here because we had,Mineamazing that dark night of the soul moment. Mine was when I was hiding behind the clothes in my closet from my kids because I was trying to decide if I was going to check out or I was going to peel back those layers and find out why I was dealt.The stuff that I was dealt,sorry,AndI was dealt, right? Andis the true start of my,that is the true start of myokay,My spiritual awakening was where it was like, okay,Why was Iwhy was I given this? Why was I given this road?I was givenAnd okay, I trust I was given this road for a reason and it was to help other people.So you saying thatAnd So you saying that that was yourcomforting for me.same experience is so comforting for me.Yeah,sorry, I didn't mean to get this emotional, but wow. Yeah, no, it's, um, it's incredible how when you're at your darkest moment, where you actuallyum, getThe, um, what is the words I'm trying to say, where you get those messages about what you're really here for and what your purpose is. So let's talk about yours. Yeah, it's pretty incredible. Let's get into yours and what happened after that.it all started, and I know people hate to hear this, but ita really amazing class.for everybody for free. And it was it's a really amazing class. It's a really amazing class. It's MSBR, Mindfulness Based, um, I can't remember what that stands for now, but, um, and I did it. and started just sitting within quiet contemplation aboutI was going to movewhere and why and how I was going to move forward. So it was a very,was that personI'd never meditated before. I always was that person that was like, Oh, I can't do it. Right. Like I can't meditate. My monkey brain won't allow me to do this. Andthat momentthe clarity, I think I got from that moment on The pillow the first time I was like,responsibilityit was a radical responsibility to myself Mm-hmmmy own way I'm going to show up infor my own healing, for my own way I'm gonna show up in this world, for what I'm gonna do from this day forward. And honestly, it was just messages after messages after messages. It's like a fire hose sometimes.I had, had to get out all of my journalshad, to, it's crazy. It's crazy. I had to get out all of my journals and like journal the heck out of what I was hearing and not just hearing, but like feeling inside of me. Wa was it the same for you?much,Totally. Yeah. Likejust fell off the bookshelfso much and that, and the books just fell off the bookshelf for me to read Just magically, andI'd go into, I'd go into Indigo and I'd be thinking, okay,It's going to Indigo and I'd be thinking, okay, I should be look, I need to look for this type of book, and it was like, in the children's section Just sat there waiting for me to pick it up and I was like, what is going on?Um, Anduh,I just,Yeah, it was wild. Um, so I just, I learned to follow those nudges. I like you said, and I learned to,It's like I'velike a spiritual awakening is interesting. It's like I've lived 45 years up to this point, learning like one thing a year.I know after 18, 22 out of college, you're likeI know after 18, 22need any more learning.of college, you're like, no, I'm good. I don't need any more learning. And then spiritual awakening starts and you're like, I need everything.coming and coming and coming and coming.And it all just kept coming and coming and coming and coming. And,held really close toand for me, it was like, I really held really close to me, Um, about a year after I wasreally good.I started to feel really, really good.I started to feel really, reallyFor the first time in my life, I started to feel really, really good. And I was like, For someone that was sick. I feel amazing. I feel the best I've ever been. I was honoring my body, my spirit, my mind, my emotions for the first time. Probably in my life.was just really familyjust really present, my kids and my family and my work. And I thought,to feel thisI want everybody to feel this to feel this good. Without having to go through all the shit that I went through. How can we make that happen?journey andAnd so it started. And so that healing journey and that spiritual journey started andSo, what did youthat's where I'm at now. So, what did you There's been a lot of wacky days along the way. What was your, big one that you did first?yeah. BesidesBesides meditation. Okay. So, yeah. Besides meditation, probably picked up.That was kind of my thing. That wasUm, a lot of books about spirituality. That was kind of my thing. That was like my. And podcasts. I was like, I'm going to learn everything there is to know about the quantum field and all the woo woo. And I went deep really, really quick. So did I. I went deep into manif I know, I know. I went deep into manifesting, deep into, Oracle. I picked up Tarot, right away, did a lot of journaling. yeah, I think that, um, I went and saw a couple of psychics, which gave me so much clarity. And then it just kind of tumbled into a little bit of witchcraft here and there, spell work, a little bit of astrology, a lot of tarot, and then Reiki.becauseAnd Reiki was the big, big, big one for me because Reiki gave me clarity. the ability to control energy, what I give out into the world, and the ability to take in all the juiciness that's available to me. So that was a big one. obvious to me the first time I took a, I went to Reiki, that for me, this was the key to everything else that kind of came along.Reiki to somebody that hasHow would you describe Reiki to somebody that has never even heard that word before?yeah,it can do for them? That's a really,Um,yeah, that's a great, that's a great question. Um, I would say, so we have everybody, It has ansometimes we call itan external energy. So sometimes we call it chi in yoga. We call it prana Life force we have this energy that keeps us alive and the energy is abundant and available to everyone And what it does is and it can connect uswith thehow to heal.body knows how to heal.In myAnd that was a big pillar for me. In my healing journey was that if I can allow my body to heal,Andwill heal.thing that can allow thatAnd Reiki is one thing that can allow that to happen. So if we can just sit back, our body knows, and this is emotionally, spiritually, physically, our bodies are meant to heal. It's us. It's the stories we tell ourselves. It's the blocks that we put up. that don't allow that to happen. So what Reiki can do is it can allow our bodies to go back to homeostasis,and to healto line uptoand to heal like it's supposed toso for my ReikiWhat does, um, so for my Reiki session, uh, I'm totally an open book, so we can talk about what mine was. Um, when Jen was doing Reiki on me, when she got to my head, I physically felt, Like, there was fire coming out of my head.thisAnd that was because this chakra is what it's called, um, was very active.not bevery active and it needed to not be so active. And so what Reiki does is itstate of,brings those energy centers back to a state of, what would you call it? Um, alignment? Um,Um, unblocked or,Yep, Alignment. um, unblocked or, Or homeostasis I like to use because it's kind of like feeling like everything's back to one. Yeah. And so, yeah, after I left your house, I was like, yeah, no, I could feel that, before I got there, I knew that I was jacked up, like I was, I had a lot going on in my brain and a lot going on in my energy field, and when I left, I was absolutely calm, um, and I got a lot more energy. clarity. And then you did the tarot reading for me, And some of those messages came through, and I, I think that because we had done the Reiki session, And then the tarot reading that it was, I was open, um, and avail, my, my energy was open to hearing those messages and really absorbing what, what messages were meant for me that day. Does that make sense?with A hundred percent. Absolutely. So we walk around with stories in our heads and we're so chaotic in our daily lives. That's just what we've become and, being present is, is, is a challenge.of being pulled in so many different ways and, um, what, what Reiki can do is it can, give us, like you said, give us clarity, help us focus. and then to do a tarot reading right after that. You know, you were surrounded by your angels in there too, let's not forget. Oh yes, I was<transcript>fast and Yeah,all the time. it came in, fast and furious during that. I felt that it was palpable. Um, so you were so open at the end of our Reiki session to your higher self, which is what Tarot pulls in. It pulls in guidance from the universe. Guidance from our higher self, that's the self that fits kind of around us that's all knowing that if we can clear the blocks and we can erase our stories for just a moment's time,truly need. we can get the messages that we truly, truly, truly need.And when it comes through, it comes through beautifully and it sticks and it's awesome. It did stick. And I honestly, like I said earlier, I came home and I. I And it's, uh, the universe is very interesting. No word of a lie, a couple days after our session, uh, I was doing a lot more, uh, podcast, other people's podcasts where I was getting interviewed. And a couple days after our session, I did a podcast with somebody that does a live podcast. show. And I had never been on one beforehis call, I was like, huh,Sotwo days agoI'm listening.So okay, I'm listening. I'm listening. I got the message from Jen, from my higher self through Jen. And then I was shown. two days later, okay, here is how you do it. And I took note and I left that interview and I was like, well, that didn't look really difficult. Obviously I made it look a lot harder at the beginning of this, but it really isn't that hard. Um, So, yeah, if you actually take the time to do these kind of practices like Reiki, um, and sit with yourself and listen through something like meditation, um, through a tarot reading, You can get a lot of insights. So,I told Let's talk about tarot one more time, because I told you before we hopped on that I pulled two cards. Did you pull two cards today, or one card, or what did you do? went to my Oracle deck and pulled a card. So it was, um, I did. Yeah. So you show first. Okay, So, I pulled the Harrowphant and the Knight of Wands. So those were the ones that I pulled, and just quickly, what are those, what do those mean in general? I don't know.it's about spiritual awakening. Well, the Harrow Fence is very interesting because it's about spiritual awakening.And so it's about tapping into your own, um, your own church. And we use that, you know, that word sometimes gets a bit, um,society bastardized in our, your community, right now, but it is. It's abouttapping into your community, your spiritual, the help that you need in guiding yourself to spirituality. So that one was beautiful. And we both needed to talk about our spiritual journeys in this episode, and I know that that was a message to really talk about that. And so for other people that are listening that are, you know, going In that direction, I guess, or like have those nudges that they know they're supposed to be listening to. I know that this card was pulled,and then the Knight ofone, for you guys. So, and then the Knight of Wands.about creativity and forwardYeah, the Knight of Wands is all about creativity and forward movement. So, that one's tapping directly into your, you know, foray into this live, this podcast. This is you um, moving absolutely forward into using your creativity to yeah, to move forward and to make something great of it. Yeah. a great card. It's very fiery. So very fiery. Okay, what did you pull?this, yeah, this is myUm, well, I pulled from, um, this, yeah, this is my favorite deck. It's the, Rebecca Campbell! Love her! I know, she's so good. And I pulled the Inner Temple. So, this card's all about, um, tuning into the portal of your heart. And I really need that today because, it's about devotion and it's about, tappingwhat's deep,Your storyin your truthand what's deep, deep, deep seated in your truthandand being raw and vulnerable and honest and really tuning into that heart center and just bringing it forward. because That's how we heal the world. It's not, you know, it's not going to happen if we're all out here. We're working out here We're doing out here Healing comes it's so so so deeply centered in your own experiences in your own heart in your own realitythat onion and just looking atSo peeling again peeling back that onion and just looking at that is that's where the healing is going to happenalso sharing thatThere within yourself, but then also sharing that with othersAndpulled an Oracle cardSo interesting that you pulled an Oracle card about the heart. It's just so freaking cool.is me too.I love it. Thank you so much. It is me too. Jen, what is your status now with your health? Well, it is, nothing short of miraculous. So I am five years in,what theand I am what the doctors call quiescent, which just means that there's a total quieting of all the cancer. it's the, the very best version of my diagnosis that you could get, and my doctor, is quite funny, just a typical oncologist. And so he just says, whatever you're doing, just keep on doing, Cause I can't explain it. And I'm like, thisI'm doing. and I is what I'm doing.This is what I'm doing and I, my heart is so, so, so happy that that is where you, you are at in, in this journey, um, for you, for your family. And, um, I'm just so, so grateful that We've reconnected and what are, let's say, two of your highest recommendations for somebody that's going through what you're going through to help them feel better today?That's a great question. Um, I thinkThat's a great question. Um,if it's forI think quieting your mind, even if it's for a couple minutes a day,whereto self reflect onyour life,where you're at, to be more present in your life,with what's really, reallyget out in nature, connect with what's really, really important. I think that that is the shift in our minds that we need in order to tackle any hard thing that comes our way. is that centering and knowing thatthis life could be,no matter how crazy this life could be, there's a lineup in heaven to get here because we can learn so much, We can grow so much, and we can deeply, deeply, deeply heal all of our wounds. In this lifetime and generations by just sitting in our heart.Um, and I would sayThat's definitely one. Um, and I would say the other one is justwhere yourbe curious, be curious about where your spiritual journey is going to go. And it's interesting, the veil is really lifting in our world right now. And what was so woo woo even 5 years ago It's just becoming mainstream now. There's a Reiki healer on every corner. There's tarot everywhere. Psychics popping up all over the place. So be curious about is there more to this life than just, you know, what's here?help us play.piece, I think, willof make sense of things.us play. It helps us kind of make sense of things.so whereAbsolutely.you if theyAll right, so where can people find you if they want to know more about you, if they want to get a Reiki session, Tarot session with you? Where can people find you?they can just go to my Instagram.I would love that. Um, they can just go to my Instagram. It's, uh, jengardner888,thereUm, There it is. And there it is! What the heck, it actually worked, you guys. Jen Gardner, 888 on Instagram.This is so muchOh my gosh. This is so much, fun. I love this.I end every episode,I know, it's great. Okay, I end every episode, and I'm not going to change that probably till the end of time, Asking my guests what they are grateful for today. ​