Call on Me, Thick or Thin

00:00:03 Speaker 1: Welcome to Jay dot Il, a production of iHeartRadio. Hello, Hello, good people, This is uh, this is Joe Scott and you're listening to Jay dot El the podcast. You already know who I'm here with the amazing, incredible Liar st Clair No you no you no you yea, and the wonderful, brilliant age of Graydon Danzler. All y'all, yes, that's all all of us and everybody listening to, everybody listening to. I just want to thank you so much for this incredible season of Jay dot Ill the podcast. We talked about so many things. Oh my goodness, the lists of life experiences and information and that we've been able to share with you. Um, some tears, some some hollering, key kienh some beauty, some you know, some some living we've been doing, some living for real, Okay. So many things have changed from when we started talking to each other on this podcast too right now, in this minute, so many things. Yeah, we have lost some folks. We have um, watched some young people do amazing things around us and in our families. We have checked ourselves, huh, like really checked ourselves in a lot of areas. We've been really forthcoming and honest with ourselves in some ways that we're scary and some ways that that just ended up being empowering. Like this is so termed fifty. We did Wow, we did well. I did you know, like major major living, major life and my goodness, yes, we got some fibroids out of there, twenty pounds of fibroid. I'm joking, but it was close. Major changes perrymenopause. Yeah, oh girl, yes, yes, shout out to extra Van thank you. Boo oh it's like that. Oh girl, yeah, I've been I've been drying thanks to huh oh blessings not everywhere. No, the face still, it goes through it when it goes through it, but it's just less as long as you can do less less less. Sweat. Yeah, that's sweat. Awesome. We're here. We're here to get to the other side. You feel me, yes, because sometimes we're like we're on a we're literally on a cliff some terms, and don't know what to do to what do you do? You jump forward? You know? Do you back up and then start running and soar? You know, nobody has nest like real wings, but our spirits do a lot. Our spirits can take us so many places. And when we add intention and effort, like man, we are powerful beings. Right, that was a lot, a lot. That was a lot. At first, it was really really cute. You know, I'm like home. About three weeks I get to be home. I'm giving about six months for me. I was just happy to be home. And you know, you can talk to your people and see what they do, and you know their home. Ain't got no phone, wok, ain't got no phone. OK, because everybody inside. Yeah right, it was changed. That change, that changed, that changed. Got to go back to work, and then you had to put off your tour and now you're back on tour. Everybody on tour, everybody twenty three put every single person that's physically able to be on the road. I want us take this moment to thank the people of America. I thank you because I don't trying us this summer, y'all. I don't know what y'all are selling on the black market to go to all of these shows. You to appreciate you, thanks so much. But all you goddamn festivals, goddamn artists got the music helped y'all get through the pandemics. You're welcome, though, seriously, you know, it's so much shade and we are on the precipit. It just feels and especially I tell y'all before, like living on this West coast, honey, and just feeling the tides they are changing, just at least on the way receive these stories. It's just it's and on the backs of mercury and retrograde. I know, Jill ain't the thing, but it's just a live should change. It's a lot of people's thing though. You know, I'm not trying to negate your thing. I just think, you know, when we're talking about astrology, I'm kind of like, there's so many factors that go into making a person. You know, there's there's so many back when people pigeonhole someone based on it or pigeonhole their own thinking, oh you were you were sagittarious. Oh, I know how y'all are, Like it'd be the same for oh, you from North Philly. Oh, I know y'all are, oh right, but you're black. There is a little I know how y'all are. I mean, well you're black though, and there is a little truth to that. Like that's so I saw I'm just a little yeah, yes, some commonality, but it's that pigeonhole portion that I can do. Yeah, I get, I get, I get what your what your issue is with it, and I that I think it's just important for us to stay open because especially if we're talking about change, because at the age that I am now, I want to believe that I'm super open to it. But um, after some further unpacking, I realized that, you know, I have to talk myself through change. I have. I definitely have, you know, I have my fears and my concerns and ways that I have to kind of quiet myself and my spirit that I didn't exactly know that about myself. Someone says, oh, you're afraid to change. I'm like, oh, no, girl. You know, I'm an artist. I love you know. You know, but you know, I realized that, Um, you know that I struggle with it just like a lot of people do. And you know, and I'm grateful. I'm grateful for the introspection because and that's that's the part that I'm grateful for the introspection and the wisdom to be able to say, Okay, yes, I see this about myself. I'm not judging myself, but I'm just gonna address it. We're just gonna find some time to address it. That way, I feel like I'm ready for change. From that way, I feel like I'm ready. Do you think as you get older, change gets harder? Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, I mean not that I don't know, but maybe not for our I don't know. I feel like I feel like in our generation. I feel like generationally though, and I know, no shader like this kind of what other generations have been through. But I feel like the change in the last forty years has been on rapid yes, and we've had to keep up with so much, you know what I mean. Like the Internet we was like high school. I just I still say the internet we were in high school when it's at it and it's just I was in elementary school, oh, with the big computer. Yeah you're talking about before Doss, you talk big ass computer that said like yeah, and I mean an email, an email was streammail burdened something like what is this? This the microwavable dinner? Like we were at the microwavable dinner people like you know, macaroni and cheese. Like I always think about my grandma, you know, because she was She's born in nineteen seventeen. Yeah, you know the amount of change that she experienced in life. Yeah, because I was gonna say that. You know that boomers are parents, they experienced the same kind of like lightning bolt change how our mother remembers television is not being a thing, But they are not expected to still keep up if a boomer. I mean, so, you know, the kids get mad when the boomers get there. They let us miss incorrect, but you can't give us so bad. They really get pissed at us, like we best to have all our ship. Well, yeah, because at this point, at this point, we are the most successible adults, the same way that our parents were the most accessible adults at that time. You know, now boomers are their great grandparents or their grandparents at this point. You know, so that you don't expect that young people will have those kind of expectations out of their grandparents, but they do out of their parents. And so I do hear you in the sense of that, like as a generation we are having to contend with I will say this, I feel like it feels harder for us because we have more language, because we have the ability to because we have the ability to unpack. If you don't have the ability to unpack, then stuff's happening and it's just like, oh, yeah, yeah, whatever, that's whatever. When you have the ability, when you have the ability to unpack and you can see what's going on, that's a mind blower. And I think for us as a generation, because we were a generation that were we were the you know, Gen X, we didn't have no We're the generation with no name, we have no purpose, we were underestimated, we were treated a certain kind of way by elders, and so we've been trying to prove ourselves and be relevant and invent things and be entrepreneurs and do all this stuff. And I think we have the ability to be self aware, but being self aware means you also have to be willing to change. You have to be you can't be halfway self aware. If you know it, you gotta use it. And now we're being challenged to use it, and that that makes us different. And I think that's what's harder for us, because it's like, I know, y're not trying to tell us we're not progressive. You was progressive when you was twenty, were fighting the power. Now you have to understand what that means in the current context, and that is a different type of chat progress, you know, I mean it possible, Yeah, more real talk after three. Yeah. Well, I'll tell y'all one thing. I was overwhelmed by the thought of AI. I was so overwhelmed. I didn't want to see it. I didn't want to try it, like I was scared, like I was. And then I tried it, and it's even more scary. When did you try an AI? Yeah? I tried a few things I try to put together. I told Ai to put together a pitch for this TV show ID I got. She did it. Now, she didn't do it perfectly. Because this is what people don't understand about AI. AI is like, I'm gonna do it, but you need to check my work because there might be some wording off here, some things that you know are not here. But I'm gonna put it in a format that is a pitch. Then I'm gonna then I'm gonna be like, give me a budget for it. Here is the budget, you know, I'll tell you. A friend of mine and a writer friend of mine said he was just messing around with it. He was like, um ay, I write me a script for the Parkers set in the nineteen sixties jokes and all script done. Who yeah, one more, one more example. Shout out to my little brother Antonio. He asked, I got to create an image, an image of black people at the slave the castles in Ghana, similar to a popular artist and the artist vain, but the slave the black people would be outside frolicking. I'm gonna say the artist, it's a very like well known artist. It looked like the artists had actually created that image of black people frolicking outside of those castles. That's the part I don't know. That part like like like that is scary to me because so much of of humanity is really about our creativity, and you're telling me that creativity also can be microwaved. Yeah, I mean the creativity and AI will be about the ability to description. The art of description. That will be the creative part of that, like the way you how much you put. Yeah. Eventually all technology turns into how can you be creative with the existing technology? Yeah, because there was you know for us as artists. You know, there was a time when sampling was super scary to our predecessors, and when djaying or wrapping or just rapping over beats that Patinue always talks about that, you know, and I'm not saying it makes it less scary, because I feel like we have to own our fear. It's okay to say that's scary to me, you know what I'm saying. And it might be, you know, because at the end of the day, technology does change what the workforce is like. It changes your everyday life, and it eliminates jobs, It eliminates certain things, and it always has it always has the cotton gin, the electric plow is, you know, factory lights, stream lights, right, elevators, elevators, to be an elevator operator. My grandmother was an elevator operator. So I think, you know, so it is scary because we are getting to that age where we do begin to fear our relevance in the world, and to see such a very stark, stark evidence of that we and things that we have always done might not be the same and they may not need us. Were already worried about if we're needed or wanted. So I think this is a time where it's so important for us to know who we are and to love on ourselves, because if we don't, we can really get caught up in the fear of this change and to keep our optimism because of the end of the day, there are all there will be those of us who will thrive in the new era. Mm hmm. There's one thing, like I want you, I'm gonna name my thing and and I'd love for you to name yours. The thing that um has not changed, well slightly but has not changed that gives you peace of mind. And for me, that thing is fishing. Yeah, that's funny because I do watch like the Tuna Show and stuff like that. I'm like, have they changed? Like I fly fish. It's so funny that you said that because I literally didn't think you're gonna go there, but it was. It was effective. It was very effective fishing, fishing, because it's you're even in that world, even in sports and activities like that, things are changing, and maybe fishing and it's one of the last I think. I think bowling is the same, you know, like like I think bowling is the same. I mean, you just throw the ball, hit the pens, you win or you lose. Fancy your colors where the depends are. But yeah, pretty much the same. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, you know, scuba diving is the same. Good scuba dive. Do you like that? I do? I do, I do. I am snark. I'm sorry a snorkel because the scuba diver is when your ears the pressure and you're about to explode in your head. I don't like that, but I do like this snorkel. I like I never do the snorkel right. But oh I got it. Yeah, you're not supposed to supposed to let the thing like you just I traveled with my own mask. Oh I got one dancing. Let me tell you something, Jill. When I was dancing with Asia to the afrobeats the other night, I was like, that ship ain't gonna check. Well, Ay's gonna get older, but I think she's still gonna be dancing the same. So, because you know, Jill, we need to be on the look. You know how you remember your birthday party to bit shut it down, look look fail, slid on the water, fail, jump back up and dance some more. Use party at the house party. But yeah, no, I do love dancer, Yeah dancer. I pray, pray, Lord, you hear me, hear my voice in heart that I can dance till I'm old, old. If I'm to be here old, please let me be able to dance till I'm old old. That's beautiful and a ball a ball. But you know what, Wow, what do we need? I mean, do we need things to say the same? Like we are there certain things that we need to It's a question are there certain things we need to stay the same? Is there? I many of you know that, you know the line that that if you're not you're not changing or growing, you're dead. You know, they're supposed to change, you know, life is supposed to change. You're supposed to change. Yeah, like that's just the way life goes. Huh. I am not meshing and I'm not meshing right now with with energies that want me to be the same. Yeah, I'm just not. And I think I think it keeps you, you know, And not that I have an issue with being older, I don't, but I do think it gives it keeps you youthful. You're embracing of change, you know, because anything you do in resistance, the body responds as if it's in resistance, right the brain. The body starts to respond if you resist, if you are in opposition to that's what starts to manifest opposition. I just don't want to feel that and to be and to be one hundred percent honest. I think it is absolutely possible to be at peace and not be a and still accept those things that are tough. I know that is It's real popular now. I don't know who said it, but the people are saying that I can do difficult things. M I can do difficult things. I think. Say something about um not being afraid to be a beginner. Talk about change. She has some change. I love her change. I'm ready for all of it. Pete, the science of it all. Talk about it, Joe, she got it. I love it. I've been watching Janelle for a long time. Yeah. Absolutely, Just so you know, I absolutely adore her. Um it's it's a lot of work ethic involved in that, and there's a lot of forward thinking as well. Like everything that she has done, um it has led up to here. Whether we've all understood what she was doing or not, I get it. I hope that I don't. I don't want to pretend that I get all of it because I don't know her. But I feel like the button up of things, the understanding the craft. I understand how great my craft is without having to see certain things about yeah, I get that starting completely closed. Yes, yes, and for years Yeah. Yes, Janelle rehearses like nobody ever seen. She rehearses um till something is perfect, like until it's literally perfect. And I remember thinking we were at the White House, and I remember thinking, where's the space, you know, for the for the I don't know the humanity in it, like you know, because I didn't quite understand. But now looking where she is, it all makes so much sense that she's like cutting through with a level of perfection and now she's fully allowing herself outside of the craft to be free. Free, she's like free now, like breaking all chains because she was a master at being inside of them discipline to the discipline of it now and now she's like loose and it's wonderful to see the thing that was always the intention is they're a I believe it's always been the intention. Yeah, that way. I was like, yes, because she's also always inside liftist life, like we've seen things behind the scenes where you know that, like and as we go the ass Yes, And then when Jill broke down the Josephine Baker piece and the fact that she was playing Josephine Baker and then I rewinded to what she did at the after party of the Metalla when she got on top of that bar. But he, I was like, everything is methodical, likes it's a beautiful setup. It's a beautiful setup, and she's in charge of her ship and now we're ready to receive it too. It's it's weird. It's like, it was so good that to see her with these images I'm out in that beautiful body, and and the way that she's interacting with these women, it's like, you prepare, I'm here for this, I'm ready for the change. I love how thoughtful she is about about this change and how she's prepared us for her change that changes. Like I remember like when Andre three thousand came out and he you know, had the fun the fuzzy pants and the you know, we weren't ready, We weren't ready with so much discussion about it, people were not prepared in any way, shape or form. Yeah, but he knew, Yeah, he knew. Like I feel like, for a change, you better know when you're changing. You gotta you gotta know more than anybody else could ever that this is for your benefit, this is for your freedom, This is for your pay, your peace, your joy, for your fulfillment, and maybe people won't get it until later, until until much later, must as we've seen. We've seen some evidence of that in the past with different artists, maybe not that exact same way, but how we didn't get it until later or until we knew the whole story. And I think about that with the Little Richard story his with his um documentary, and I'm not understanding until it's all at the end, but I think, but I think more than anything, that's at the root of what we're talking about is to live uninterrupted. Like there was a clip moving around about that, and I wish I knew the sister who actually was talking about it, but she was saying, like what is your life? She was asking this question, and y'all please forgive me because I would love to like actually reference who said this, But it was circulating on Instagram where she was like someone had asked her, what do you think your life would be like without interruption? Or who would you be without interruption? And I think Janelle Monet is an example of a person who has pondered this and kind of created a life based around who is it deal? I want to be uninterrupted, and you know, and that type of freedom and liberation you cannot sound so overwhelming, sounds so good. I'm sorry, go ahead, it sounds good. But guess what it is also work? Yeah, So that's the thing, right, and this idea about right, we have this idea about liberation and freedom number one, Even trying to contemplate it all already puts you in opposition to the status quo. So you know you're already dealing with that. Then you have your internalized stuff that you didn't have to go against, and then you have to be really planning and intentional about that. Sometimes people have a crew, you know, a crew of a crew of people that have vision. You know that that creates the vision or assist in creating the vision for you. And then some and she may I don't know that she doesn't have people who you know, she talks about what she wants in her life, and then you know she has to help implement those things and direct in those areas. Um, that's awesome. M I lost my train of thought because I want that. That sounds great, That sounds great to me, But it starts with the intention of the person themselves, right, And you can pull together whomever. But you have to have a you have to have a strength of vision. Talk to her. You don't have a strength of vision though, and she there's a clip of her going around now too that speaks to that as well when she talks about just being yourself. Yeah, like you know, and yeah, that conversation with the self is serious. Look, I'm just saying, whether whether I even understand it or not, this is like my last year being Chill Scott M What do you mean by that? I don't know. I don't even know that. I like I could, but you know that I know that it's it's I'm ready to change. Yeah, there are things about myself that I really really love in my artistry that I really really love. Writing will probably never change for me, like never. I love to write. It's my favorite thing. But some things you're going to change. And I hope that I have the good sense to prepare you for it. You know, people who are who enjoy what I do. Hope I have I can prepare you for it, or you won't be because because here's the part about change, you will win some and you will lose some. Oh, Janelle is definitely lose. Yeah, I'm sorry. I know we can use an example, but I'm like, yeah, she's got to she's got to be losing something because everybody ain't feeling all that all that level on lady stuff. Hey, I remember when Prince was like, you know, my name is now as symboled. We were like, get the fuck out of here. I say that, I will say it, but you know, then, right, what are you talking about, your prince? What do you mean? You know? But in hindsight, we understood, we understand what he was dealing with and what he was going to do, but he had to make a major change because circumstances required it required it. That it's not changed the fact that this is one of the most amazing musical geniuses ever on the planning, and it's like, how can how can we be really authentic and ourselves to the point that when we really do understand that time has come, that we accept it and we move with it, because you know, sometimes that that thing whispers to you, it says it's time, gives you those indications, and people don't always know or feel comfortable to move with it, you know, and then it'll come and kick your way in the ass, like it tries a gentle it's a gentle pushing initially, but if it's if you meant to change, it's gonna come kick you in your ass. Well, the universe is more powerful than these kind of systems and things that we're dealing with every day. For sure. Universe is gonna is massive. It's gonna move, it's gonna change, it's gonna at every single level, you know, to the molect killer level, to the sound wave level, Like, it's gonna do what it does and it's not gonna wait on you. Yeah, you know you can either. It's like remember when I was telling you guys about making Umra, and I was like, it's like a school of fish and you got to get into the rhythm to get into it right. So it's just like, yeah, you can stop in the middle of all those people moving around. You can do that, but they're gonna keep going. You. You kind of have to get with it, you know, you have to get with it in terms of the universe, not necessarily the status quo, but how those things are coming up to you. You feel it in your body, you feel it in your spirit. And for many of us, and ya know, y'all hear old people talk about this about how when you pray for something to be ready to receive what you play for. You know, you be ready to receive when you tap in. Be intentional in your prayers. Honey. Well yeah, but once you tap in, you can't be afraid of what it reveals because everybody, everybody won't tap in right. Some people ain't happening. You are, You're tapped in right, But that's not the end of it. You have to receive it. We're gonna take a quick break and then we'll be right back. I chuckle with God all the time because y'all know I'm I'm a big proponent of being very intentional and a particular in what you ask for God for, because God will make a joke on me all the time because He will grant my blessings and the deliberate, exact way. And I should have said, oh why I say this, But this is what I asked for God, So you are listening. So you are listening, so to that effect. That's why when change happens, I always tell people, I'm like, well, change is happening, and I know I'm in God's favor because somehow always end up working it out. Sometimes I end up better. I'm literally I just all the changes. I feel it, Yes, because of this industry in this town that I live in, But I'm like, personally, I'm feeling it on a perimental, pausal type level. I don't know when my period coming back, y'all. I'm feeling changed from a career level. I mean, I got this is the end of the season for two podcasts of what you're gonna do. But I feel like, where some people maybe go down from all these things, I feel excited, Like I feel like that's this is how God kicks my ass. God is like, remember you wanted to do this? Hey, yeah, now here's ten play fools. Let's go. Let's go. I'm giving you a space. I'm giving you a space. It may not be the space you ask for, but I ain't gonna have you starving out in the streets, so go ahead and get it done. That's what I feel about change. I posted about my son turned twenty four yesterday, and I posted this picture of us from like twenty two years ago. You're like two years old in this picture. And then was the first time we ever did Essence Festival, and we were laying on this hotel bed, and I was trying to put them down for a nap, and I was two weeks postpartum from DIA, and I had to I remember praying to God, Please, God, let this baby be born so I can get on this plane, because at that time, that was to that date, the largest paying gig that we had ever gotten to that at that date. And so I was like, I gotta get on the plane with these kids, and I can't fly with a baby under two weeks old, so I need her to be born on her due date. And she came a day before, and I was two weeks postpartum with her, and I was looking at this picture and I was thinking to myself, and my girlfriend text me and was like, girl, two weeks postpartum. I said, yeah, girl, that was back when the kama Kazi mothering was still in style. We don't do that no more. That's out of style now, right. But when I thought about it, was like all the sacrifices that I made all of these years, the way that I moved my change right now honestly is believing that I deserve a rest because I have just been one for a very long time. Yeah, And I wake up now and it's like wow, Like I get to decide what I'm doing on my day, like it's it's really it's amazing. Actually, when I think about it, I'm not busy. Like I'm busy, but I'm not. This is not the life I was living ten years ago. It isn't. And though sometimes I worry about where will be the rest of my career and will I continue to work this way or just that the other dude, we have a retirement? Are we gonna be? Because for TI and I are not superstars, We're not none of that were working artist. We have a nice you know, following who is supportive of us. But you know, there's still always that question of what happens later and shout out to everybody in the gig industry. We don't have social security, we ain't got pension. So yeah, right now, in this moment, I'm giving myself permission to take a damn breath, beautiful and to live as softly as I can. Oh, y'all to the soft living, the soft living. And I don't like a trendy term, but that one has really that one, that one that got into my heart. They can think about the young people right now, you know, the younger, younger people than than myself, and you ladies, like there's you're doing your thing. Everything is working, You're out of your parents' house, you got your own everything, Like it's it's working. All the dreams and ideas of effort that you put forth, it's happening. And then something like COVID pops up. Yeah, you know something like you know, the job that you had is letting you go for a reason it doesn't even make sense to you. Yeah, that's when change gets really really scary because because people went on strike because right now, so now what does this mean that you know? The fear level can be so high? To me, it just it just I'm not trying to make light of anything. It's kind of like all right, all right, then well back to what can you do? Punch, what can you do? Because you still want to be able to You may not be able to maintain exactly how you were living before, but you're still living. And I think the peace of mind that you have, that self awareness comes in handy at a time like that. It really does, because you're not you're not hinging everything on it, you know what I mean. It's like And also like I circle back to what I is said when she was just like, I know I'm going to be all right. I don't know what version of all right it's going to be, but I do know I'm going to be all right. And it takes a level of experience to have experienced worrying about being not all right several times and see it be okay for you to have that kind of confidence. And so this is what this age kind of is about. Also, it's like I know what I know, and we know what we ain't going back to because I tell you what I know, I ain't going back. I ain't going back to Cadesian's couch. I ain't going back to Cadesian's couch. And I know that. And I know that because I'm my blessings and I know that because of my work, and I know I just I just know I have faith. And I'm also manifesting that it's in case yeah, cocktail that shit, you know, pray manifest you don't have faith? Word, I wonder if we are. You know, It's funny we started talking about change and it's like it has like an excitement to it. And I realized, and I'm listening to us talking, we we've gotten solved, We've gotten a little somber. I'm sad. No no, no, no no no. I feel like excitement is good, but we you know, we cackle and for this to be O god, no, no, no, no, no, it's good, it's good, but like we have gotten real, like because it is serious though, like, yeah it is. This is real, it's real. It's everybody. It is a real life. It real And I'm glad to be able to have that conversation with y'all because some people experiencing this alone. And I want to take this moment to say something to people who listen to this podcast, because I know that they have said on social media times when I've seen them in public. Some people this is this is the kitchen table conversation for them, This is that moment to hear I'm not the only person feeling this. I'm not alone, you know what I mean. And for people who come to this podcast, most of them are like I'm a huge Jill Sky fan and they love, love, love you and your music and who you are. And for them to hear you even say this is so important. It is really important for them to hear that level of relatability and that that says I'm not by myself, because people have a tendency in this music business in Hollywood to place people in these spaces of untouchableness, like they're not seeing the same stuff, but then going through the same things and feeling the same things, you know, as a people for real everybody, people for real, for real, for actual real. Yeah, Oh I'm a kid. I'm This freaking cat got shit shit right beside you. You're gonna pay attention to the cat he knocked over my food onto the floor. Well, you're gonna pay attention when the cat that is letting you know the cat is telling you, and you know what the cat is telling you. You've been paying that baby too much attention. You've been paying yourself too much attention. Everybody gets attention. Now you got to notice me. Come on, then, come up behind your neck. I want you to feel my tail. Come on, come on. You used to be looking for me, You used to need me. Now you don't need me no more. Somebody else Your food down there, just she is down there getting it in on my food. Even I ain't even know. Cats ain't real food. Chicken that wasn't supposed to be an example My girlfriend was around all the time, spending time with the cat, love the cat. But she got busy. Life happens, you know. She got a new job, she got a new friend. She spending time with a new friend working at the cat. Every time she would come in the house with dry cleaning, the cat with pee on top of her dry cleaning every time, like, you better not put your dry cleaning down on the bed. You better hang it up and put it in the closet and close the closet. Can't do that because the cat was like, oh, this plastic care and these the clothes you want to go out in. I'm gonna pee right here. And when your ship fuck, you supposed to spend time to me these as love me. That's the ship that comes with change. There you go. It's some some piss's pissy everybody, okay a the time, no, bab no, everybody like we did that, we did that circle back everybody. Some people can't go. I go all the time. So you know, as you as you make some decisions or life makes some decisions for you, you already know that not everybody is going to be able to go with you. Yeah, you know, And that's that's not a disc that's just reality. There's just reality certain people for certain things. It's all right, what they say, a season and for a reason, and a season a reason, yeah, and a season because I just everybody is on everybody's on their own path, you know. For really, I think a lot of times will we'll say, oh, yeah, well this is a person who can't go, when it also might be you can't go. It's all, you know, it's all everyone's on a different path, you know, and we all kind of interacting with each other according to the needs of where we are on that path. And that's why it's good to think about it intentionally as you're doing the things you're doing, because they do effect all, you know what I mean. There's aye other thing. This is in the quarter ND. It says there are signs in it for everyone who witnesses, right, So like any person who is witnesses a thing, there's something in it for everyone who witnesses a thing, you know what I mean. And so if we're if we're in community with each other, each of us is in community with each other for a purpose or maybe several purposes, right, And as long as we're in community with each other, each each of us is receiving something, each of us is getting some sort of perspective, and you know, and when we're not together, we're pulling from that into our other interactions, and so on and so on and so on and so forth. Whoever comes into contact with those people and those people and then some and that's how we all end up so connected with one another. And that's why it is it's important to think about and be self aware so that when you are interacting with others that you're pouring in beautiful things into them. So when it's time for them to not be in communication with you or not in community with you, what they pull away from that is beauty. What they pull away from that is what was needed. And I think that for me, that's that's what I try to do. I was writing something today and I said this about myself that I never would have said about myself five years ago. My heart is my flex o. If I love you, I feel the same way. I ain't gonna yeah, if I love you, you don't have any doubt about that word. And that for me, that that's the way I choose to be in community with people. So I'm hoping that that's what they take away from their time with me, whether it be a short time or be decade of time. It's shore I'm gonna say this. You know we've said it meantimes BEFOREMA say it again that this podcast is, this Jay dot l podcast is it's really it's been so therapeutic. It's been to Syning therapy, okay. Is for anybody who has it, to the Cynon therapy. Um, you know, with just your therapists and yourself. That's one thing, because it's almost like talking to yourself in a sense, but somebody else has given their perspective, but not judgment really, but giving a perspective and trying to help you get to where you said you wanted to go. Really, that's what therapy is about. But being here with you ladies and voicing you know, concerns or voicing joys or you know, and having your perspective and having your um your light shining in my direction. And then for everybody that's listening as well, it's like this powerful triangle you know that that people get an opportunity to get lost in for a while or founding he nice it is. It is always like I've come to this podcast many times like exhausted and and and concerned and you know, afraid and and and alive. You know, I'm just out here living. And then I'll say a thing and an age will say a thing and it'll bounce off my forehead and it'll pop lie in the nose and she'll say something and it's it's like this wonderful energy of of just lift. It's a lift. And I man, I just love y'all. I really do. I just really do we love you. I know that you know, Okay, that's the best part of it all, Like yes, and knowing knowing as a thing. Boy, when you know a thing like i'd be like Asian, let I'll be like, I'll be like, yeah, this becomes the prerequisite. So it's like, you know, you move forward and you know all the things are in love, yeah, you know, and that you know not to be on our circle back because you know, I'm not as good as this as y'all are. Y'all will circle or shit back. That's the y'all be doing that. It's so masterful. But on the circle on my I'll be a circle back. I'm gonna say. You know, That's how I've been able to deal with a lot of changes. It's just from knowing that I'm loved and knowing that I'm in spaces where I am loved, because that helps it, you know what I mean? In us, Like I said, you know, when we started doing a podcast, I was right in the middle of a lot of complicated feelings, my grief and my kids were all kind of a teenager, you know, yoh, lots of lots of stuff. You know what I mean. It working those things out with people who I know love me is you know, blessed and own blessing, own blessing. And that's why I feel like we've been able to bless people other people because the core of it, in the core of the connection there is about love, and we're leading from there and that I and I love that because that's how we're able to talk to each other in honest ways about all the things and listen to each other. Listening is really important when somebody loves you, When somebody loves you and they tell you something, this is this is really a part of the biggest goal of all is to to love on you. You know, as you listening to this podcast and a bathtub or you know, on the toilet or the kitchen, in the kitchen wherever you are, like it, really the goal is to love on you. You know, I'm the auntie, they're they're the sisters, you know, or they're the cousins, you know. But we want to share information with you, and we want to reveal, you know, the humanity and all of us, you know, like nobody's perfect. Nobody like nobody anywhere, like anywhere. I've never met a perfect person ever. And we have these hard conversations out loud. I love that about Like, like you said, we literally a sparkling conversation, like now you can figure out now, you can figure out a way, you have the words, And it's not just it's not just in this room. No, you know, it's not. That's I think that's the biggest part of it, because we're having such a public conversation about real life. You know, we got to know a lot about each other on this podcast part. Yes, yes, and you don't even you know somebody but and you're like, oh wow, like I know you in a whole different way, like whole whole different way. Yeah. And then and also too, we've all gotten older and you know, non da da da, so It's like, you know how it's very easy to have somebody's twenty year old self like branded in your brain. It's kind of like when you grow when you grow up with somebody, or you see somebody when they're young, No, somebody when they're a baby, and whenever you look at them, still see a ten year old maybe like thirty m you know what I mean. So I think that's easy to have somebody's twenty or twenty five year old self, you know, just in your brain. But I think being able to intimately have these type of conversations, like even when your friends with somebody, doesn't always mean you're having these kind of conversations, right, you know what I'm saying. So we're having those type of conversations broken and open even so much further for me, you know, oh more conversation after the break. I want to say something though, that's slightly not slightly off topic. It's on topic. It's on the topic of change. Don't get mad at me, but it's just slightly off topic of what we're talking about now. The world is changing in some kind of interesting ways that um I want us to pay attention to, do you know, in particular, some of these really offensive laws that are being passed um around women's bodies, around education, in our history. I mean, y'all, they're banning books like the world is regressing. We are sitting there to the world is regressing. Some of the books and the authors that we talked about on this podcast are on the list of banned books in some of these states. Yeah, they are rewriting history even worse than the revisionists as history that we learned, these kids are getting it even worse. I think we really think it was just gonna stop. No, I think I thought it was. I didn't think it was though, I didn't know that we were going to revisit it's. It all seems so foolish. It seems foolish. But let me gonna tell y'all something. That prequel to Handmaid's Tale, not not the actual prequel, but the part in the in the school. Yeah, that's prior to this, is it. We have been, We have been on the pathway to fashion like so I'm just saying I want us to pay attention to these changes, right, I want us to keep in mind, and particularly around some more controversial issues. As we start talking about and using words like traditional and words like you know that that hearkened to time periods that none of us lived in. I think that we really have to be clear about what it means to attack humanity and other people's humanity, and know that just because you may not be a part of that group, that that is an attack on all humanity because they come in for you next. So you can't allow any person, any human being, to become for and that's what happens. They try to pick a small group of people that everybody can gang up on, and I'm telling y'all, they're gonna gang up on you next, and they're showing themselves to be doing it. These are changes where we cannot be comfortable with. These are the changes that we cannot fold into. These are the changes that we cannot allow ourselves to stand by and watch. I know you're speaking on it from an organization or activism level, but somewhere in my mind you're you're also speaking on it from a political thing where you where you do have powers at some point. Right, Yes, but it's also on a personal level because guess what, laws can be changed, but culture and society changes because of the way we talk to each other. So speak up and we're doing this on this podcast where we're taught the conversations that we're having. That's how you change culture with how changing how you talk to people right and your feelings, your ideas. It's the ideas that are important, you know what I'm saying, because they can't go back and change a law roll versus way. It is done. It's done. Did you ever think it's done? But the reason that it's done is because all of these foul insidious conversations and so talks changing culture, going back to change the culture. Yeah, so don't be don't be when I when you say activism, I think people have a picture in their mind and we talked about this on the podcast before. They have a picture in their mind and somebody with a you know, with a sign and a post a board and they march it and they go on to jail. And yes, that's that's definitely disruption and that's a part of it. But part of changing, you know, the way that we do things is changing our ideas. And that's that's the thing that we do on the show, and that's what I'm hoping that we can continue to do, you know, not just after people leave the show, and they go on and have their conversations with their cousins and their family and their moms and their dads and their children. You know, we can't afford to let that go. We can't change is. It can be very exciting and it can also be very frightening, depending on what that change may be. But know that you are guided, that you are loved, That it is a miracle that you're even here, huh, that you're even here, that you're listening to this podcast right now, or that you're that you're just sitting on a park bench, whatever it is that you're doing, Be not afraid if there was anything to do. There are shows that I've had that I felt like I was jumping off of a building over and over and over and over again because it was scary every time. But there is something about that leap of faith. There's something about action even when you don't want it. There is something about resilience and making a decision that some things can never happen again, and something should absolutely change. We have the right to do that. You're born to it. Know that, know that you are loved, Know that you are a miracle, and know that it has been our pleasure to share our time with you. Blessings in real life, and then no kind of shallow saying it just to say it. Count them counter blessings. Hold on to them and appreciate the life that you have. Change is inevitable. It just is what the fuck it is. Smile more, laugh, loud, whole hands, kiss somebody slow damn. That's a good change. It's getting better. Make hard decisions for your benefit. What else? I don't even know. I think that was That was good? Nobody I know. Baby, Listen, I'm like, what even when I'm manifest? When you manifest, Manifest, Manifest, Manifest? Oh you witting? You really want me to say manifest? Yeah you see all? No, no, no, no, no no you left the tea out. She always gets the end Manifest Manifest and take naps, yes, yes, oh I got one. Yes, and breathe, breathe, relax all your keigo keeth no keego bo not get giggle too, but keego and giggle, but don't do it at the same time. Dance, go, get your titties check yeah m hmm, yeah, yep. We love you for real, like for real. You know why we do because we love ourselves. That's what it's hitting for. That's what I'm sitting for. Real bad. This is a reflection. Okay, bye? How do you eat an elephant? One by it? Kid? Hey listeners, it's Amber the producer here. My heart is so full. This has been such an amazing season to spend with you all. I just want to share again that quote from Parable of the Sewer from Octavia Butler, all that you change changes you. The only lasting truth is change. God is change. God has changed. And this is our last episode of the season. Please tell your friends, family, and community about our show and let's all eat the elephants in our lives one by at a time. Follow the podcast on Instagram and Twitter at Jill Scott Podcast to keep up with us and stay up to date on new seasons and episodes. We love you so so much and can't wait to join you here again. Hi. If you have comments on something we said in this episode, call eight six six Hey Jill. If you want to add to this conversation, that's eight six six four three nine five four five five. Don't forget to tell us your name and the episode you're referring to. You might just hear your message on a future episode. Thank you for listening to Jill Scott Presents Jay dot Ill. The podcast Jay dot Ill is a production of iHeartRadio. 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