Eva Sheie (00:03):
The purpose of this podcast is simple. We want you to get to know your doctor before meeting them in person because you're making a life-changing decision, and time is scarce. The more you can learn about who your doctor is before you meet them, the better that first meeting will be. There's no substitute for an in-person appointment, but we hope this comes close. I'm your host, Eva Sheie, and you're listening to Meet the Doctor. Hello. Today on Meet the Doctor, my guest is Robert Tornambe. He's a plastic surgeon in New York City. Welcome.

Dr. Tornambe (00:39):
Thank you.

Eva Sheie (00:40):
So I always start with the very difficult question of tell us about yourself.

Dr. Tornambe (00:46):
Well, I'm a board certified plastic surgeon living in New York City, born and bred in New York City, actually in Queens. As my wife likes to refer me as a, uh, bridge and tunnel boy cuz she grew up in the city. Uh, I've been practicing for some 30 years and my practice now is primarily just cosmetic, specializing mostly in face and breasts.

Eva Sheie (01:10):
I heard you say earlier, and it painted such a picture for me, that your patients used to pretend they didn't know you if they saw you on the street.

Dr. Tornambe (01:18):
Uh, yes, actually, when I first started out, especially, I became involved with a small modeling agency and they would send people, young ladies over who just got to the city to get little things done that they thought were needed. And they would have a party twice a year, an office party, you know, Christmas time and in the summer. And I would go to these parties and I would pretty much leave after I got there because nobody would talk to me even if I didn't operate or didn't have anything to do with them. The girl, nobody wanted anybody to think that I, they might, if they're talking to me, I they might be a patient. They might have had stuff done.

Eva Sheie (01:56):
Not even by association.

Dr. Tornambe (01:58):
Exactly.

Eva Sheie (01:58):
Yeah.

Dr. Tornambe (01:58):
So I got to the habit of just going, you know, saying hello to the, to a few people and, and leaving because nobody would talk to me.

Eva Sheie (02:07):
When did you see that start to change?

Dr. Tornambe (02:09):
I would say about 10 years ago or so. It became, it, the Kardashians I think had a lot to do with it. That became, uh, not only okay to have it done, it's almost like, uh, you were something special if you had it done. Cause it suddenly became a chic thing to do.

Eva Sheie (02:27):
Did your patients start coming in and showing you photos of the Kardashians or other celebrities?

Dr. Tornambe (02:33):
Oh, I had very often someone would say, oh, I would like so-and-so's nose or, you know, I had a male patient that wanted, I forget which actor wanted his nose. I said, I'm sorry, he's already using it. We can't, I can't give you his nose. People don't understand that, you know, the idea of plastic surgery is hopefully to get someone to look refreshed, look a little bit better, but not like they did when they were 16 years old. It's, it, it would be unnatural. And so our goal, my goal is to tweak little things, hopefully to get them to feel better about themselves and, and look a little bit better, but still look like themselves.

Eva Sheie (03:15):
New York is unlike, well everyone would say, it's not like any other city in the world. And I was struck just walking how many faces and how many people you see on a daily basis. And I wonder if you see bad surgery walk by you every day.

Dr. Tornambe (03:31):
It's a curse. Yeah. <laugh>, my curse used to be keeping my mouth shut, seeing a beautiful face with just an enormous nose or something like that. And wanting to just say, you don't have to come to me. Just walk up to him and say, please do this. It'll change your life. So now the curse is, is looking at someone and that had way too much done or has way too much filler or way too much Botox and say, stop, you know, don't do anymore. You look silly. There's a certain clientele that want to look like they've had work done. It's, it's again, a status symbol. And in my, in my opinion, they look awful. And when someone asks me that for that kind of look, I, I regrettably turn them down because I don't wanna be associated with that.

Eva Sheie (04:17):
Do you find yourself turning people down often?

Dr. Tornambe (04:20):
I turn away probably 20%. 10 years ago I wrote a book called The Beauty Quotient Formula. Cause I got tired of turning people away and finding out that they just went down the block to a competitor. I wanted to offer women something other than, well, look, you know, you look fine, you shouldn't do this. I had patients coming up to me, coming to see me. My, my husband's having an affair with a younger woman, so I need a facelift or my boyfriend likes big boobs and he's gonna pay for it. So I want, I want a breast augmentation. Down the road these patients are not gonna be happy. They're gonna realize that they did the surgery for the wrong reason and they're, and they're gonna be unhappy with me for doing it. So I wrote this book that was basically a beauty positivity book to try to make women under, especially women unfortunately in our society are, are just put under the microscope and have such an unfair terms brought to them.

(05:20)
They're, they're being compared to people like the Kardashians or like actresses and now influencers that, that are so prepped before they're photographed or photoshopped that they don't stand a chance. You know, we have the wrong role models. And so the idea of the book was to say, look, accentuate the positives, here are the wonderful attributes you have. Look for them and go with it and enjoy them and embellish them and focus on them and not on your perceived things that are wrong with you. So when I turn them down, I just hand 'em the book and say, well look, I can't please read this before you go down the block.

Eva Sheie (06:00):
Do people still come in and say, I read the book and that's how I found you?

Dr. Tornambe (06:04):
Not enough, unfortunately. But the ones that I've given the book too were very, and I must say it has been best received by younger women who I say, look, you need to not do anything right now. You, you're so pretty right now. I had a patient years ago who was an aspiring model and she was told by photographers that her eyes had bags under them and they, and they had nothing of the sort. She just had such beautiful, delicate skin, the muscles around her eyes were more prominent if you look at a baby that that's sort of a similar. And she had such an exotic, pretty face. And um, she wanted something done to her eyes. She was told to have something done. And I said, look, I said, there's nothing to do and if you do something, you're gonna make yourself look worse. Give it six months. And if you're still having problems with the photographers, come back and we'll see what we can do. Within three months, she's on the cover of Cosmopolitan.

Eva Sheie (07:00):
Nicely done.

Dr. Tornambe (07:03):
I felt very good about that.

Eva Sheie (07:05):
Do you do noses or?

Dr. Tornambe (07:07):
I do.

Eva Sheie (07:07):
You do. I think this is an idea that I picked up on earlier this year that sometimes, and it, it's because people come in and say, uh, you know, I want my nose to look better, but better or, and the other word that is happening a lot right now is natural, but everyone's definition of natural is different.

Dr. Tornambe (07:28):
Scary.

Eva Sheie (07:29):
So how do you approach that with patients when they use words that don't mean the same thing for everyone? What do you use to to help them visualize what they're going to look like?

Dr. Tornambe (07:39):
Well, noses in particular, you could show with photography, you can give, give them a basic idea. Many times it's a bump is the biggest thing or, or a large tip or things like that. And you can sort of, you can give them an idea. A big part of not just noses, but any aesthetic surgery is education is making, making an individual understand what we as plastic surgeons are capable of accomplishing. And if something is overdone, what are the ramifications of that? So there's a lot of conversation that needs to be done, you know, and another good example is brassiere cup size. Manufacturers are all over the place, like Victoria's Secret, what they call a D cup is really a B in my opinion. So that's something, again, someone say a woman will come in and say, well I want, I want a D cup, or I want this cup. And I'll show them pictures of what, what that really is and they'll say, oh, I don't want them that big <laugh>. So a lot of education, a lot of conversation and a lot of debunking myths that are found online, which is, I spend a lot of time doing.

Eva Sheie (08:47):
Now, do you see trends in breast size on the East coast that are maybe different from other parts of the country?

Dr. Tornambe (08:52):
Absolutely. Yeah. The East Coast, well New York is definitely different than, Miami's the East coast and they're, they're up there with LA.

Eva Sheie (09:01):
Fair point.

Dr. Tornambe (09:01):
Understandably individuals who live in a warmer climate who are wearing less clothing because of the, the, the weather. They like bigger breasts. I had a young lady, an actress from LA who came in with the most beautiful breasts I'd seen. And I said, what is wrong with you? Don't, don't touch them. They're, they're nice sized, they fit your body and so on. She says, you don't understand, this was years ago. You don't understand when I, when I go to a, uh, uh, tryout in LA he says, the, the girl's breasts will get to get into the room five minutes before they do. And those are the ones getting the jobs. So I reluctantly made her breasts larger, but I honestly tried to talk her out of it cause they were beautiful the way they were.

Eva Sheie (09:47):
Is there a certain type of patient that finds you? Are there things that you're known for that they specifically come to you for?

Dr. Tornambe (09:55):
I am known to be two things. My practice is a more of a boutique practice. I don't try to nurture a large, large factory kind of clientele. I like to spend a lot of time with my patients. So it's kind of a, it's a, it's a boutique kind of a practice. I'm a little bit selective as you might imagine, <laugh>. And secondly, I'm, I'm pretty conservative. I try to make the individual understand that this is a long term journey, not just a short term fix. That we want to do something for them, that they're gonna be happy with tomorrow, five years from now, 10 years from now, and so on.

Eva Sheie (10:32):
And since you've been doing this now for 30 years, are there patients who you've seen at the beginning who have returned now again?

Dr. Tornambe (10:41):
It's really, or they've returned or their children have returned and that's, that's the, the best compliment you can get. I actually saw someone yesterday, a lovely lady who was my banker when I first opened my practice. And she said, you know, back then I got to know you. And I, I wasn't ready to have anything done, but I knew when I would, when I did something, you were the one that was gonna do it. Now we're almost 30 years later and she came in for a consult for a facelift.

Eva Sheie (11:13):
<laugh> Long, longest lead lead time ever.

Dr. Tornambe (11:17):
That's the longest lead time. But you could have come a little sooner <laugh>. But but that, that's like, that's a compliment.

Eva Sheie (11:22):
It's true. We all, I sometimes joke that we all have a list. It's actually not a joke. We all have a list of what we're gonna do next, right? And so sometimes the person who's gonna do that for us might change a little bit, but usually we know and we just hold onto that sometimes for years, like your patient. How did you end up here? Like, did you know always that you were going to be a doctor or were you one of the ones that fell into it backwards?

Dr. Tornambe (11:50):
No, I had a good idea. My dad was a doctor, he was an old school, he was a cardiologist in internal medicine who practiced until he died 88 years old and made house calls right up to the end. He was special. He was a role model for me. I wasn't sure that I, I always wanted to be, and I, I it was a, you know, it's a long haul and it's kind of arduous, uh, hall to become a doctor outta school. But every time I had difficult decisions to make, once I was in practice, I would think, I said, what would dad do? Cuz integrity was the most important thing. He would always say, treat your patients as if they're your family and you'll never make the wrong decision.

Eva Sheie (12:34):
Was he first generation?

Dr. Tornambe (12:36):
No, he actually was born in Sicily. Came over when he was six years old and worked his way up as a matter of fact. Um, worked in his, uh, brother's barbershop, just put himself through City College and Flower Fifth Avenue Medical School here in New York City. And thank God he became a doctor cuz he is a terrible, uh, barber.

Eva Sheie (12:55):
<laugh>. That might be the first time I've ever heard that.

Dr. Tornambe (12:59):
<laugh>. And you know, it's interesting, that's where surgeons supposedly, uh, our history comes from. The original surgeons were barbers, <laugh>. So sort of a in interesting cycle.

Eva Sheie (13:11):
And what about your mom? What did she do?

Dr. Tornambe (13:13):
My mom was a homemaker. I had three brothers. So there were four boys. She raised, uh, in Queens all pretty much, you know, my my dad when they, they, he came back from World War II and um, they built a house with the office attached because he knew he wanted to be close to the family so that we were, as kids, we were always knocking on the door and barging in when he was seeing patients. But she was a true matriarch. She was great cook, great great mom, and also a wonderful individual when she was 90. This is a good story. She, um, by the way, she always lied about her age. The whole, her whole side were no you all her brothers. And she had six brothers and sisters, and they all lied about their age. And she turned out to be two years older than my father.

(13:58)
And we never knew this for the longest time. And it was, she was about to turn 90 and I was having dinner with him and she looked up to me and said, looked up at me and said, by the way, I want a facelift. And I said, really? She said, yes. She said, and she saw the look on my face and she said, what? I'm in perfect health. I'm not taking any medications. I don't smoke. And by the way, I put you through medical school. So I looked over to my father, who's a cardiologist, and I said, do you think this is a good idea? Are you gonna clear her? He didn't skip a beat. Looked at me and said, do you wanna live with her?

Eva Sheie (14:39):
<laugh>

Dr. Tornambe (14:40):
Thankfully I was able to talk her into doing little Botox where I've got her to her eyebrows, lifted a little bit and, uh, you know, few wrinkles to go away and, and she let me off the hook. <laugh>

Eva Sheie (14:54):
<laugh>, This was when she was 90?

Dr. Tornambe (14:55):
90.

Eva Sheie (14:56):
You know, first Botox at 90.

Dr. Tornambe (14:57):
But, you know, she was very vain. I mean, in a good way. She cared about, she went to the beauty parlor every week. They went out to dinner once a week after that, that, that Saturday night after the beauty parlor. And she dressed beautifully and she cared about her appearance.

Eva Sheie (15:10):
This was all, and they stayed in that house in Queens.

Dr. Tornambe (15:12):
They stayed in that house until they both died.

Eva Sheie (15:14):
Yeah. Do you ever still go over there and look at it?

Dr. Tornambe (15:16):
Unfortunately, they, we sold it and it got torn, it was a double lot and it got torn down and two little McMansions had been built in its place.

Eva Sheie (15:25):
Yeah.

Dr. Tornambe (15:26):
Which is the way things are, happen. But a lot of good memories. I actually have, when they tore it down, we went, we happened to be by there and I took a brick and we, I have a brick encased in a, in a, in a little place that, uh, for a memory.

Eva Sheie (15:43):
It's a good story. What's next? What's coming, um, in the next six to 12 months for you?

Dr. Tornambe (15:51):
I hope continuing to do what I'm doing. Uh, three, four years ago, my wife Valerie joined the practice as a patient coordinator and she's really been a boost, cause many things. Her personality, one, which is bigger than, uh, life, and the fact that she has a, uh, an excellent background in beauty. She was, she's a former Ford model and lived and modeled in Europe for years. And she doesn't mind my saying so I, right before Covid, I did a mini facelift on her after much turning her down numerous times. And, um, since that time she's been working as a coordinator and, and is able to sort of walk patients through what it's like to go through a facelift. I also did her eyes and see what it's like. So she's an excellent coordinator in the respect that she says, look, this is what it takes. This is, he's gonna tell you, oh, you'll be back in a week. You're not gonna be back in a week. <laugh>. You know, you're gonna be, you're gonna maybe be, you know, cover the bruising and the swelling after a week, but you know, really seriously, if you wanna go out for dinner, it's two weeks and so on. It's, it's nice to hear perspective of someone who's been through it.

Eva Sheie (17:02):
So is it Valerie, uh, who we get on the phone if we call the office?

Dr. Tornambe (17:06):
Uh, no. You'll have Fabiola who's been with me almost as long as I've been in practice and, um, she watches over me. I she'll say, you know, I wanted to put a few more consults, but it's just too many. I don't want, I you are working too hard. So I have to tell her. No, it's okay. Fab. I'm not, I'm not that old yet. <laugh>.

Eva Sheie (17:25):
So she's like the mom in the office.

Dr. Tornambe (17:27):
She's the anchor. She has a memory that it's unbelievable. She remembers patients' names, their are brothers and sisters' names who refer them what we did. She's great. And then I have Diana, who's our office manager, who is also, uh, just phenomenal. She's been in the business, uh, for probably as long as I have. Except you look at her and she looks like she's about 20 <laugh> and we have a nice little team. And that's, and then Valerie and that's it. We have a, although we do have a new member to the team, is um, Gladys Kravitz just joined us and she's our 10 week old puppy.

Eva Sheie (18:04):
Oh. I saw her on your website.

Dr. Tornambe (18:05):
She's been training to be a service dog. Valerie, uh, our last Bull Mastiff was a very successful service dog. Used to go to the hospitals like Sloan Kettering and visit patients, get in bed with patients. She took her to juvie, jail, things like that. So.

Eva Sheie (18:21):
How did you name the dog Gladys Kravitz?

Dr. Tornambe (18:24):
Did you ever watch the TV show Bewitched? It's something before your time probably. It's a, it's a sitcom from the sixties and Gladys Kravitz was a busy, busy body neighbor. And we live on the upper West side and there's a lot of Gladys Kravitz is so she fits right in.

Eva Sheie (18:41):
<laugh>. I did watch it. I remember she used to wiggle her nose. Right, exactly. But I didn't remember the neighbor.

Dr. Tornambe (18:46):
Yeah, she was a character.

Eva Sheie (18:49):
How would your staff describe you?

Dr. Tornambe (18:52):
Mellowed, energetic, honest.

Eva Sheie (18:57):
That was the first word I wrote down on my notes about you was honest and then fixer.

Dr. Tornambe (19:04):
Thank you.

Eva Sheie (19:04):
Fixer. I can see a pattern, I can hear when you're talking that you like to make things right.

Dr. Tornambe (19:12):
I try. That's the problem. You know, it's, it's not, it's, it's a hard job. There are things you know, you want to do and sometimes you're limited by what's what you have to work with. And that's my job is to be able to articulate that in an honest way, but also in a diplomatic way.

Eva Sheie (19:32):
If we want to read the book, where should we look for that? Is it on Amazon?

Dr. Tornambe (19:36):
It's it's on Amazon only electronically, unfortunately. You can get key can get it electronically though.

Eva Sheie (19:42):
If we come in for a consult and you turn us down though, we can get a hard copy of the book?

Dr. Tornambe (19:45):
Absolutely. And I'll sign it.

Eva Sheie (19:47):
<laugh>. And then, uh, if we wanna look online for more information about you, where should we go?

Dr. Tornambe (19:54):
Info at madison ps.com.

Eva Sheie (19:57):
That's your website? Madison ps?

Dr. Tornambe (19:59):
Madison ps.com right. And not that's Madison, as in Madison Avenue, New York. Not Madison, Wisconsin. There's actually a Madison plastic surgery in Wisconsin, understandably.

Eva Sheie (20:10):
Oh, did they accidentally call you sometimes?

Dr. Tornambe (20:12):
We both, we we both, uh.

Eva Sheie (20:13):
You become friends with them?

Dr. Tornambe (20:15):
Yeah. Yeah. <laugh>

Eva Sheie (20:17):
Slightly different.

Dr. Tornambe (20:18):
Just a little different, uh, location. Yeah. <laugh>. I know I have colleagues that go back and forth to LA or back and forth to Miami. I do not go back and forth to Madison, Wisconsin. <laugh>, they don't need me there. They, they've got wonderful plastic surgeons there.

Eva Sheie (20:31):
Yeah. And a good school.

Dr. Tornambe (20:33):
University of Wisconsin is, yeah. Fabulous.

Eva Sheie (20:36):
Is there anything else that you wanna talk about before we wrap it up?

Dr. Tornambe (20:41):
The only thing that bothered me throughout my career is sometimes I'll hear you don't charge enough. Why you, you can't be as good so and so down the block charges three times more than you. So how can you be, as you know, and pe people need to understand that, do their homework. When choosing a plastic surgeon and the most expensive plastic surgeon, the most, the most handsome or most beautiful plastic surgeon, the tallest plastic surgeon is not necessarily the one for you.

Eva Sheie (21:10):
Very true. I think you're speaking to something really important here, and it's the challenge that we have all over the world is that we as patients don't always know how to assess quality. You can assess quality amongst each other very well because you've been training and doing that for some of you for de many decades. But if you were gonna give a patient advice about how to assess quality, what would you tell them to look for?

Dr. Tornambe (21:37):
I would look to an extent, look for online reviews, but be careful about that as well. Cause we've seen, you know, bad reviews for restaurants because they couldn't get a reservation or refused, you know, whatever. So reviews are important. I think their training, I think board certification is so important, but board certification in plastic surgery, and that's a, that's a stringent protocol to become board certified. There's no such thing as board certified cosmetic surgery. Someone pays $500 or whatever for a certificate. There's no training involved. It's the specialty of plastic and reconstructive surgery that you want the board certification in. And, you know, a member of the, the Aesthetic Plastic Surgical Society and, and of course the, um, American Board of Plastic Surgery. So those, those are the criteria you wanna look for. And most importantly, ask this question. And, and it's very easy to follow up. If I was doing this operation in the hospital, what hospital would it be? And do you have privileges to do that? Because if it's a dermatologist or a gynecologist attempting to do plastic surgery, uh, a hospital has very stringent rules and they are not permitted to do it in the hospital. And it's very easy to say, you can call up that hospital and say, is this doctor of privileges to do liposuction, for instance. And if that's not the case, then I'm not so sure you want that doctor.

Eva Sheie (23:07):
That's very good advice. Thank you Dr. Tornambe. It's so nice to meet you.

Dr. Tornambe (23:13):
Same here.

Eva Sheie (23:20):
If you are considering making an appointment or are on your way to meet this doctor, be sure to let them know you heard them on the Meet the Doctor podcast. Check the show notes for links including the doctor's website and Instagram to learn more. Are you a doctor or do you know a doctor who'd like to be on the Meet the Doctor podcast? Book your free recording session at Meet the Doctor podcast.com. Meet the Doctor is made with in Austin, Texas and is a production of The Axis, t h e a x i s.io.