Discovering the Writer Within: A Conversation with Author Nikki Bergstresser

You know if you're just beginning this or if you're in the middle of it. Just enjoy those small steps. Every small step may seem like a lot of steps, but every small step is going to get us where we are meant to be.

Welcome to the Moms Who Create podcast. I'm your host, kelly Hile, and I am thrilled to share a podcast that celebrates the incredible moms who are pursuing their creative passions. Are you a mom who feels like you just can't balance your creative pursuits with the demands of motherhood? Each week, i'm bringing you interviews with accomplished and talented moms who have made their creative dreams a reality. I talk to writers, artists, musicians and entrepreneurs who have successfully found a way to do what they love while raising the ones they love. Some of the writers I talk to are New York Times bestselling authors, while some are self-published first-time authors. I also share my own insights and resources to help you navigate the unique challenges of being a mom who creates. So, whether you're an early bird or a night owl, a seasoned pro or just starting out, i want you to know that you can pursue your creative passions and be an amazing mom at the same time. Grab a cup of coffee, a notebook and get ready to join our community of like-minded moms who are on a mission to live intentionally and create with purpose. This is the Moms Who Create Podcast, and I can't wait to share this journey with you. Hi everyone, and welcome back to this week's episode of the Moms Who Create Podcast. Let's jump into it. Nikki is awesome. Today I'm talking to Nikki Bergstresser, from Canada. She is an educator and author of children's books and one sweet romance novel. Her latest picture book, called Lila Lou's Little Library isn't that the cutest title? It's from Cardinal Rowe Press, 2021, and it contains themes of activism, generosity and community. Her other children's book, seasons of Stone, from Brandy Lane Publishers, 2020, shares with readers the power of a young girl's kindness as it just ripples through a neighborhood, saving Heart. and Home, from a Lang Books, 2021, is a sweet romance novel co-written with Denise Jaden. Nikki lives on the west coast of British Columbia with her husband, two daughters and a plethora of critters. She facilitates online book clubs awesome instructs writing classes for children also awesome and presents literature seminars for parents and educators. Inspiration for Nikki's writing comes from spending time in nature, traveling to new places and spontaneous adventures. She believes taking small steps will lead to beautiful journeys. Enjoy today's episode, nikki. thank you for joining me today on the podcast. I was looking at your website and I saw you have two children's books and a sweet romance which I'm excited to talk about that one too. So you kind of do different genres. So thank you again for being here and talking to me today.

Well, thank you so much, Kelly, for having me, and I'm excited to kind of share a little bit of my journey and hopefully encourage everyone listening on their journey.

Just to start off by having you introduce yourself to everybody and just give us a brief overview of who you are.

Okay, i am Nikki Bergstresser. I live on the west coast of British Columbia, canada, so I am right near the water and near the mountains. It is lovely. I grew up in Manitoba, so in my heart I'm a prairie girl, but oh, the mountains have my soul. And so I've been married, for I think it's 23 years and we have two daughters One just graduated and the other is having one more year of high school, and so it's a whole different season for us, trying to navigate, moving from being the hands-on parent to the facilitator in their life, to be the listener, and so that's a new stage that my husband and I are enjoying. It's a fun stage. Each stage has its hard point, but it's fun. And then, as well, i'm an educator. I teach online book clubs and writing clubs to students. Oh nice, it's really fun. And I do my author bit, and, as well, i do speaking to schools and parent groups and community groups, just to kind of instill that love and passion of literacy. So, and then in our spare time, we love traveling, we love nature. I'm a huge hiker. Just getting into nature, oh, it just fills me. So that's yeah, that's a little bit about me.

Tell me what got you into writing, What first inspired you to become a writer.

Well, i grew up in a household with parents who really encouraged a love of books and a love of writing. My dad, my dad loves to write poetry and he's 86 years old And, yeah, having a dad who loved to write poetry, that was a little unique, right, and so he really encouraged me. My mom was a huge cheerleader And then, once I got into teaching, i would find I'd be teaching something and I couldn't find material for it. And so I'm like, oh well, maybe I can write it. And so I would start writing poetry or little plays for my classes and things like that, and I really It just kind of it gave me a passion. And then, once I became a mom and I was home, i needed that creativity to continue on, and so I started writing here and there, for I'd, you know, write a poem to friends or things like that. And that just kind of spiraled it until about six years ago And I'm like you know what? I'm gonna do this? I'm gonna dive into this world. And it was scary to dive into it And I thought we're just gonna try. And again, if you surround yourself with friends and cheerleaders that say you can do this, that's a huge hurdle. And so, yeah, i jumped into it from there.

So having a dad that was a poet, i feel like that is rare, right. It's like that romanticized life that you see on like movies. To have that lifestyle around you probably was super inspirational, like you were always kind of in that zone of words.

You know what, being surrounded with words exactly, and expressing your feelings. And you know my dad did it best through his writing, and so special occasions, i would always get some type of poem or something, and as my girls were growing up, from when they were itty-bitty, he would write them his own little poems. He'd create and send them cards that he made by hand And so to this day they have in a box. They have all the cards that Papa made for them with the poems. So it's pretty neat.

That is so special. Has he ever put these poems into a?

book. He has never. He has never, and you know what. We've chatted about it. So I'm going to Manitoba next month, so I'm like maybe I'll chat with him. He's 86 and he loves writing, so.

Oh, you should just do it for him. Just take all the poems. Or your children, they should take all these poems and just secretly make it into like a self-published book. You know, i like that, kelly. I love that. You should do that, please do. Oh, then think of some like super special title. No, i'm just getting emotional. I love it. Okay, anyway, back to you, back to you, love, love it. Love it in your journey. Tell me about your books, tell me about everything that you've put out so far, okay well, i started with Seasons for Stones.

That was my debut, and I will never forget getting that email, because those of you who are sending your writing out into the world, you know it's filled with rejection And that can be really hard. It's a huge hit And so you know you just go. Is it worth it? Do I keep on trying? But every no leads to a yes, and that yes, that was a huge day, that was a huge day of celebration. And so, yeah, seasons for Stones was born from that, and that is my first children's picture book. It has a special meaning because seven years ago that's when I started to write it my dad was diagnosed with cancer And so they were in Manitoba. Of course, and because of his love for words, i thought what can I do? I have two little kids at home. I can't just jump on a plane to help him and my mom, because my mom was carrying a huge load there. And so I'm like how can I encourage? So I went to the store and I bought Stones And I came home and I painted a word on each stone and I put a flower, because he loves to garden, so I put a flower with each stone and put them in a burlap bag. And for every day of his cancer treatment I had a word that I wanted him to draw out, to focus on that word for the day. And so it was funny. When I go to the post office to mail this package, the lady lists it up and she goes oh my goodness, this is heavy, what's in here, rocks. And I'm like actually, yes, yes, it is actually So. Seasons for Stones was born from that idea, because their neighbors also pitched in, like the neighbors around them, were incredible. They shoveled their snow, they brought them meals, they did everything. And so the sense of community and just having that empathy, seasons for Stones, came about. And it's Tilly Tilly's, my main character. She knows her elderly neighbor is not doing well, she can tell because the garden is not well taken care of, and so she wants to go on a journey to help her. And so through her words, through the love of nature, they make a connection. And the theme of the book is that there's hard seasons in our life And to be able to recognize we will have hard seasons, those around us will have hard seasons. What do we do? Where do we go with that? How do we take it. So that was the first book. Then came Lila Loo's Little Library, and again that again was born from my love of books. I love sharing books with everybody. If I read a book I'm like, oh, you have to read this. And I'm constantly sharing books. But my house also is piled to the sky with books. So Lila Loo is again my main character, and in both my picture books my main characters have problems that they need to solve. They need to be empowered to solve these problems of their own. And so Lila Loo's mother says there are too many books in this house, lila Loo, and Lila Loo is spunky. So she says, well, maybe our house is just too small for all these books. And so you know, tongue in cheek, she realizes, yes, she has a problem with her books, and she shares her books with the community. However, the community isn't quite as excited about Lila Loo's books as she wants them to be, and so she has another problem that she solves, and from there she gets to share her books with the neighbors And as well, they get to share new books with her too. And so from that story, i built with my husband actually, my husband built a little library that we put in our front yard And it is massive. It's got three levels picture books, middle grade books and then adult books.

Wow, Yeah, it's pretty neat. That's amazing, thank you. Oh, my goodness, those stories are phenomenal, nikki. And then you made like a triple-decker box. I am obsessed with you. You're amazing, you're so sweet.

Well, all three of my books came out during the pandemic, and so that was hard. I could not celebrate them the way I wanted to, and so I'm like, oh, i can sit and get all chuffed about it, or I can, how can I do it? And so, yes, i had the neighborhood, i invited them over And we gave space and everything. But I read outside to the kids. Everyone was spaced out, and now I met neighbors I've never met before. There are little kids that are coming up pulling books out every day, and other people are putting the books into, so there's always new books as well. And the one day I saw a grandparent with their grandkids And the grandparent got a book And the kids got books. And so every season I decorate outside of the little library And I want others to see the celebration and the joy of books.

So Also congratulations on getting that yes. Finally, That's getting a yes is something that usually doesn't happen a lot of times, if we're just being honest. So was that during the pandemic as well.

No, it was the year before the pandemic. So this is the other hard thing with children's picture books. It's often it can take from signing that contract. It can take up to two years to get it out into the world. There's a lot that goes behind the scenes with that, And so, yeah, did I imagine celebrating my books released during a pandemic? Absolutely not So. Sometimes, and that's the thing with dreams, You have to be able to weave and ebb and flow through it all right, right.

Oh man, that's amazing, though, and we're getting past it and your books are out, And do you have more? We'll talk about your next book in a second, but do you have any more children's books? you're working on that. you want to get out.

Well, i have several manuscripts that I'm working through and trying to get out, as well, as I have a middle grade novel that I'm in final revisions with, oh wonderful, so it's yeah, the publishing process. It's a long time, right? It's like you have to have that patience, and some days I don't, some days I don't at all, and so I have to. Just, i have to remember, on the days where answers aren't coming to me from others, that I need to take control of my own writing. It's like that's when I'm like, okay, i'm gonna ignore my email and I'm just gonna write. I'm still gonna write, and that kind of helps me through because, yeah, you can get down with it sometimes, especially when the industry is slow.

Oh yeah, there was a indie publisher, a very big one that I will not name, but I sent them an email about one very tiny, tiny thing that I needed to get fixed. They took them I think it was 19 days to return my email for one tiny thing And I was like what? I can't check in my email every day and I would follow up. This is a five second fix. I just, you know, this thing isn't working for me to input my book that's coming out in the fall. I'm glad I'm doing it early, you know, because you can do imagine like something happening on your self publisher. You do it all yourself right On your release day And then the company that you're going through not responding for three weeks. That would just crash everything And that would be the worst. So I guess in any aspect of publishing whether it's self publishing or with a publisher there's always you gotta wait, and I'm a big instant gratification person, like if I want something, i want it to happen right, then It has to be completed. I have to do it now, like I hate waiting. But it's worth it in the end, right, but congrats on your books too, kelly.

Way to go.

So you also, if you want to talk about it. You also have a sweet romance book. Can you tell us about that?

I do. It's called Saving Heart and Home And I co-wrote it with another mom friend that we met each other. As you know, i was her home learning support teacher. She was homeschooling her child And, yes, she is a YA author as well as now a cozy mystery author. And so I love Hallmark, i am the biggest cheese of Hallmark movies, and so I had this idea in my head, and I'm also a big, i love intergenerational stories, and so that's what Saving Heart and Home is. It's set in an assisted living home And the Zany seniors there. They love their nurse, their sweet nurse, emma, and they want her to find love. And Emma's a little bit jaded with love And so they go about some zany ways to try and find her true love. And there's a rescue dog named Charlie in there And, yeah, there's some there's some meat cute moments And it's. I love it. It's a project, a passion project for me, like when I was writing it and I'm sobbing, or the one day I was driving my daughters And they're like mom, why are you crying? I'm like my characters are having a really good conversation in my head. You're always thinking about it And it just becomes such a part of you. So yeah, saving Heart and Home is actually really close to my heart as well.

That sounds so good. In my mid 30s I'm finding what I like to read, more than just. I love bestselling fiction, but cozy mysteries you mentioned that too with your friend. I didn't know. Now I didn't really start reading a lot until, honestly, my mid to late 20s. I was never a reader And then I don't know what happened Maybe it's getting older thing and then I got so into it And I'm just it's just one of my favorite Things ever now to do. But you don't have to go breeding to like being a reader and a writer. I'm learning. But anyway, when I was younger I would always watch murder. She wrote with my mom. Have you ever watched murder? She wrote with Angelina's loved murder. She wrote, yeah, and I don't know what it was. It just it was. You know it's about people dying and stuff, but it was very Tongue-in-cheek, you know like off-camera, but I don't know there's something I loved about it And then it wasn't. Until recently I was like that's a cozy mystery TV series. And then I found this whole world of cozy mysteries that apparently I was completely blind to. And then I read it And I was like it feels like I'm watching murder. She wrote and I found I found my place, i found my people and it's wonderful. I like them. I like, i don't like to read, you know Terrible, you know cycle some. I like some psychological things, but I like more about we died Oh, who did it? You know, it just feels good Like. I like the bookshop ones with cats too. you know those guys, i love those. Oh my goodness.

I love that. Yeah, yeah, check out Denise Jaden, then she she actually series that has a cat in it as well.

So I love those love. Everything sounds so cool that you've done your books are just phenomenal. You've had a way with words, you know, ever since you were young and it wasn't till The past six years, just so that you put that into to books. But your whole life you've been creative. You've been, let's just say you've been a writer your whole life, you know, and you've had words in your head. And then becoming a mom and going through all this, how did you find, how did you find the time to write and like, harness your creativity with? you know the tasks of being a Just present in motherhood, even if your kids are older or they're younger. You know You're still a mom but you still want to do your creative bits. So how did you find that balance?

But it's hard, right, it's hard, and I think it takes trial and error with it too, right, there are some days where I was in the middle of something really good and I needed to stop everything and drive them places or whatever, right, and so so that is hard. I think The thing that, um, being a parent has made me more creative Part of it is made me more creative, right You're, you're seeing the world from a different place, and that's what I love, because, as a writer, you're always observing. And so I kind of brought my, i brought my girls along for the ride, right, like we would have adventures together and go places and do things and just connecting with them. Now, my husband, he loves Lego and he loves building Lego and he's very creative. He, he doesn't just build the sets, he actually designs full buildings and skyscrapers all over. Oh, and so amazing, we we brought the girls along with this Lego journey because I wanted to be part of Lego with him too, because that was something he had a passion about, and so Lego is storytelling. It really is telling. When I go into the classrooms and talk to kids, some children are worried about writing stories and getting the words and like do you like Lego? You can tell stories with Lego and you just see their eyes light up, right. So I think that's how I kind of balanced. The motherhood and the creative aspect is Yeah, we'll, we'll go to Lego conventions, we'll build together. Or the girls are old enough now that when I was writing that sweet romance I would read them sections. And Teenagers are brutal. They're honest, they will tell me, or they'll go, oh, mom. And so so they, they kind of came along on my journey in a way and they also saw Like I hope I modeled for them, like Reaching your dreams, striving for your dreams. But also, how do you handle when you fall? You know, it's like when you face that rejection, how do you handle that like? and they've seen me cry like when I'd get the rejections or things like that. They, they saw those moments and I didn't think I didn't want to hide those from them either. Right, and so I think that's yeah, that's kind of how we balance things. We also get out in nature a lot. That's where I, that's where I kind of declutter my mind is to go into nature, and so they come along with us for that too, and it's just like breathing it all in and I get some really great ideas When I'm out in nature. Both my girls are creative too, so it's fun. I Think that my main thing is Connection. I'm all. I'm a huge person about connection and I think first you need to connect with yourself. You need to journal, you need to find your why, like why do I want to do this? Who am I? because sometimes, as moms, we lose who we are. And so, like when I left the classroom and I had my daughters and I didn't go back right into the classroom, i lost who I was for a few years or, and it was, it was hard. And so to be able to journal and say, like, why do I want to go on this dream or this journey? What, what's my end goal? What's it gonna look for me? And then, if it's writing, then you know what. Find your cheerleader, leaders in your life. Find those cheerleaders, those friends that They're gonna motivate you. They're gonna build you up when you're kind of tearing yourself down in the tough moments, they're gonna say you can keep on doing this and then learn, be, be an advocate for your own dream. And so learning, like if you're an author, if you're looking into children's writing like I would join the Society of Children's Bookwriters and illustrators It's called SCWBI fabulous wealth of resources. There's a story storm group it's called And it's free, and Tara Lazar is an author and she runs it, and one month out of the year you commit every day to coming up with a story idea, and so it's really great. It gets those creative juices going. There's 12 by 12, judy Headland is an author. Julie, sorry, headland is an author and she organizes it, and that's where you will try and write a picture book manuscript every month. And so but you have the community of your authors behind you right, Just learning about what a picture book entails Like there's a fabulous book out there called Writing Picture Books by Anne Whitford-Paul And it takes you from the full process And so it's a great thing. But, yeah, if you can connect with yourself, connect with others and then just be an advocate for your learner being a learner Like dive into what does it take from me? So that's my encouragement.

That's brilliant. Thank you so much for those resources too. I will go ahead and take those and I will link those in the show notes. So, for anyone listening that wants to dive into all the resources she just shared, i will put that in the show notes, along with your info, nikki, of where people can connect with you and also buy your books and everything. So, actually, good segue Go ahead and tell us where everyone can find you online and also purchase your books as well.

Sure, i love going on Instagram, so you can connect with me on Instagram at Nikki Bergstressor. There I share a lot of my love of books, different book resources and things like that, as well as just motivation. Facebook I'm on Facebook, you can also find me on Twitter and my books are in all bookstores as well as online resources such as Amazon and Barnes and Nobles. But hit up your indie bookstores, ask them first, and libraries. Libraries are a fabulous resource to get your books, so, yes, it's perfect.

Yes, see if Nikki is in your local library.

If she's not, request her books to be in your library, I loved chatting with you and hearing a bit about your journey and everything as well, and just be able to support each other in our creative goals. I think that's so important. So you know if you're just beginning this or if you're in the middle of it, just enjoy those small steps. Every small step may seem like a lot of steps, but every small step is gonna get us where we are meant to be.

So how are you doing on your reading journey this year? Did you do my 2023 reading challenge? I, personally, am trying to read 24 books this year. I am at 16, i think almost 17, which is amazing. I'm not putting pressure on myself, but I'm giving myself that time to read And it's really paying off. Well, i invite you to join the Moms Who Create Book Club. Go to Facebook, search, literally Moms Who Create Book Club. It'll come up, join And every month, we read one book and we meet on Zoom once a month and talk about it. So it's not something that takes over your life or you have to, you know, find childcare for your kids. It's one day a month. We talk about a book. So if you just joined that, there's 12 books in one year. So if you're used to reading like three, there's 12. If you're reading like 52, then there's 12 of your 52, i guess. Anyway, join the book club. We would love to have you. Don't forget to connect with the podcast on social media on Instagram at Moms Who Create Podcast, and on Facebook at Moms Who Create Podcast. Thank you so, so, so, so, so much for listening. I hope you're having a great summer. I'll see you next week.