Unleashing Confidence: Inspiring Limitless Potential with Poet Elizabeth M Castillo

Elizabeth, it's so wonderful to meet you. Thank you for joining me today. Let's start our chat by just getting to know you, so introduce yourself to the listeners before we jump in talking about all your roles and your poetry. Tell us about you.

Okay, thank you, I'm so happy to be here. I listen to podcasts all the time. I found lots of other mom creatives from your podcast and I'm so happy to be here. And so I'm Elizabeth Angastio. I'm a British Mauritian poet, writer, workshop facilitator, teacher, and I write a whole bunch of other things under other pen names. I write romance and Gothic retellings and historical romances and kids books and et cetera. I also run a few businesses.

You stole that and also I run a few businesses. Yeah, it's my favorite thing.

It's like what do I say? Because otherwise I'm just gonna be listing the stuff that I do and it's not like a huge achievement. It's literally I just can't focus on any one thing. So, yeah, so I teach languages, I'm opening a language school, I'm running an arts business at the moment, but I'm here to talk about my latest poetry book, not Quite an Ocean, which is a collection of eco feminist poetry, which sounds very literary and fancy, but it just means that it's poems about the climate crisis, about the planet and about women and the fact that our lives are often very hard. So that's what I'm, at the moment, focusing on promoting.

Mm, that's awesome. Okay, before we start talking about that because I wanna hear more about that I wanna first hear what inspired you to become a poet, to become a writer.

I've always written, I've always loved to read. I think many writers love to read not necessarily bookworms from childhood but they come to a point where they love a story or a narrative or something. And I actually always read poetry. But it was a very self-therapeutic thing, angsty teenager heartbreak, sort of you know, no one's listened to me, let me inscribe this in tears, kind of thing. And then it was always for me, it was never for anyone else. And then I, when COVID hit actually, but I've always had, it must be said. I always had like seven novel ideas and five children's books, ideas that one day I would put down on paper but obviously never did. And then when COVID hit I was very ill. I've had COVID four times, would you believe I was very ill. Yeah, I know I should get an oil card and I was really ill in bed and basically I was bedridden, I couldn't breathe. So I reread all of my classic Victorian regency, pride and Prejudice, jane Austen, elizabeth Gaskell, sort of type things, and I watched them again as well, all the adaptations, and I kind of just immersed myself in that world. And when that world ran out, because I'd read everything, I then started reading variations and retellings, which is a huge market. And I mean, even in contemporary media like Bridget Jones's Diary is a retelling of Pride and Prejudice. You know, lion King's a retelling of Hamlet. Retellings are everywhere. And from that perspective I then began to have my own ideas and I wrote my first novel, the length novel of a retelling of Elizabeth Gaskell's North and South. I published it online for free just to see if anybody would like my writing, and it was so well received that it just gave me that kick to be like, okay, this is something you can do. And then from there I went through a whole bunch of difficult things and suddenly the need to write the poetry came out, because there's only so much self-expression you can do when writing a Victorian romance, but then you really just need to like, grieve people who I'd lost. I said to Miss Carrot like lots of things just needed to come out on paper and that's where the poetry came from. And I began looking up because I had had that confidence of, okay, maybe actually this isn't just a hobby, maybe someone else would like this. So I began to look it up on social media et cetera, et cetera, and said, but my work to places, which basically means sending it out to magazines to see if they're interested in publishing it, and they were, and it was well received and I networked and I found what is so key for me and I shout it from the hilltops is I found my people. Because it was during the pandemic. Obviously everyone was online and in my immediate circle of friends there's not that many creatives. There's people who read but who actually create or creativity being a big part of their lives. There's not that many. So there were that many people who could kind of, you know, relate to that or who I could kind of connect with. But then online I found a group called Mum Right which is run by Nikki Dudley, which was basically Moms who Write, struggling with childcare, struggling with all of these things and finding kinds of creative. I connected with them and now they're some of my best friends and that was really key as well to building that confidence for me to be like, okay, this isn't a hobby, this isn't a cute little thing, this is a legitimate art form. I'm working hard at honing it and, you know, sharpening my skills and I'm being successful, to whatever excesses means to each person. But you know it's resonating with readers and so I'm going to pursue this and basically it's just snowballed on from there. And it's so cool, kenny, because it's like you never stop learning. You know, you. You know whether it's the craft of writing a poem or a fiction piece or or editing or whatever, or whether it's how to promote yourself, or you know the hustle side of it, or just discovering new people, new places, new stories that you've never heard of. I mean, it's, it's such a wonderful and privileged journey to be on this creative one and I think that if I had maybe come straight out of school and been like I'm going to study creative writing or whatever, I would not have appreciated it half as much as I do now as a mom with limited time, to be able to do all of these things and learn. You know all these, all these amazing facets of creativity? I'm not sure that did that answer your question. That was amazing. No, are you?

kidding me, though. That answered my question and more, and I love that you took this from a you know hobby to do I'm doing. People can't see me. I forget that they can't do that.

That's a promise.

From a hobby to saying, okay, like this is legit, I'm really good at this. This could be something that you know really elevates me and I'm going to actually put myself into it. And you did, because a lot of people that have the skill and the talent and the passion and the drive easily could do that. But you're just like no, I didn't, I didn't study it in school, or I didn't do this or I didn't do that. Other people doing better than me.

Why would I? And you feel? I think, as a mom, there's also a thing that you feel ridiculous. You feel so ridiculous. You have your kids, you have your partner maybe, if you're, you know you're in a relationship you have your home, you have all these things, and you might not particularly be enjoying any of that or fulfilled by any of that, but you know it and so you do it. And then there's the comparison trap and there's the what other mom? I mean, I'm a homeschooling mom, so that adds a whole nother layer of pressure and societal expectations. You know, no one else around me is doing it. Everyone else who's homeschooling is breathing and living for their children, from the time they wake up to the time they go to sleep, and you know. But I think there's so everything. The odds are completely not in our favor for pursuing these things, but I think there's something inside of me that is like, yeah, you just just watch, watch me while I do this. And I hope I hope, in fact, I'm going to be running a few workshops in the future that I'll I'll you know there'll be links on my social media about overcoming that imposter syndrome, about being confident in the promotion of your work, about taking your writing seriously, about saying to yourself I am a thing, my work is a thing, it is worthy of attention, it is worthy of my time, because it is such a hard step and if we don't have someone in our corner, you know, pushing us, encouraging us that direction, and we have all these other people who are not in our corner, what telling us? No, come on, just give it up, it's not worth it, it's difficult, I've got to. You know, how are you going to manage this? How are you going to manage that? We really need to find our cheerleaders and our people, and they're out there. I'm one of them, determined to be one of them. For other women, I know that you are with your podcast and more and more I think, yeah, we kind of lead by example that way, you know it can. It can be in practical terms, like your time. Mommy's got her two hours writing. It's not shopping time, it's not. You know, managing the summer activities time? It's not. Can I drop by for a coffee time? It's not. Let's go to the doctor? It is my writing time. My husband is a pilot. When he flies the plane, no one's interrupting him, to be like For me, or can you help me? No, no one is doing it is the same for me. So we need to have that Self-assurance, and if we don't have, we need to force ourselves into it, and one of the examples that I gave recently, which is something that I will literally say to everyone you know Beyonce, we all know I love Beyonce.

Yeah.

She's not Beyonce, she's Sasha fierce. We need our persona, we need to be okay. You know, lizzie, with my real name, maybe I'm the mom and I'm the stay at home, whatever, and I'm the homeschooler that's all great. But Elizabeth, I'm Castillo is an amazing poet and she is here and she is proud. You are gonna take her seriously or she's gonna lose a room, you know I mean. That's really what I think for me helped me to kind of bluff my way into self-confidence, you know oh good, oh, that's yes, and it's.

You have to get over that like fear of being you. You have to get over the fear of of that, which is silly. Why do we have a fear?

But even in your case, like you know, kelly, it's. I understand you completely because I've been in the same position. But to be like, oh, you're a nurse, I'm a children's book author. My, true, my book deals with difference in children or deals with you know, whatever the theme is, and it's so cool. You know, remember that book you read when you were little. Well, my book is kind of like that and just, even if you're not feeling it, even if your tummy is like flip flopping, like a pancake, you say it, you say it out loud, you know, and More often than not, people have no idea how nervous you are on the inside and and little by little, believe it to, and they start to believe it, and then you are a thing and you're confident and your art is there and you're amazing and there's no stopping you, elizabeth, can you be my life coach?

That's gonna like that's gonna hit well with some listeners Even me, you know and I'm like, okay, I'm getting confident, I'm doing this. But you saying that I'm like, okay, now I'm gonna elevate it and I'm gonna, you know, up level my life a little bit.

That's just me hearing that and you have my number. Now you text me if you feel those levels are, you know, fluctuating. I would, yes.

Yes, I love that. I love that you're all the way in Paris, but I can still just like text you. Hey girl, how are the baggads today? Okay, let's switch gears, because I want to hear about your book. I you you Okay.

So my new book is a short collection, which you call a pamphlet in England and a chapbook in America, is basically a shorter, shorter than a full length collection. It's called not quite an ocean. It's, if I say so myself, absolutely gorgeous to cover by nine pens press. They they're a fantastic UK press and indie press but they're really working hard and producing excellent poets who not who wouldn't necessarily be on the on the sort of mainstream poetry circuit. You know there's gatekeeping and everything, yeah, and the circles within circles within circles and everything, and poetry is already seen as niche and there's a very small niche within the niche of sort of poets you've heard of and poets who are qualified and own America. You'll be on your MF days in UK, they will have been, you know they will be pro laureates of this or that or whatever, and so they get a lot of traction and the rest of us don't really get much. Nine pens are really working hard to put more poets and diverse poets on the map, and so when I was able to publish with them, I was actually approached by them, which is very rare to write a collection of pamphlets, and so this book means a lot for me because of that. In fact, if you want to talk about a little confident story, when I first started publishing or submitting and publishing my poetry, they had released a pamphlet from a French Bask writer who would write in different languages. I'm a multilingual writer, so myself, so seeing someone write in several languages was so inspiring. And the cover of her book her name is Julie Régaray, which fantastic. The cover of her book was so beautiful. I actually wrote it down. I can't find where on my list five, 10 year plan, get something published with nine pens. And three years later, even two years later, I get an email from the editor in chief who says please, can you, can we publish your next poetry book? That's incredible.

I know Seriously.

No, I know it's. It's that, it was such a blessing and it just came out of nowhere. So I was like well seriously, and the problem was I didn't have any collection to publish. I had a few poems that were sort of out in the wild but they didn't kind of coheize together as a collection. But then as I sort of actually started putting them together, I realized that actually they did, but they went in a direction that I didn't expect, and that's what's so great about poetry. Poetry is not a story. It's not. Let me take you from point A to point B to point C whether that's a true story or fiction or whatever. It's not essay, it's not nonfiction, you know, self help or whatever, whatever. It's literally whatever the poet needs at the time of writing. It's an expression of whatever I'm feeling, whatever I'm thinking, whatever I'm seeing, whatever I feel needs to be said. But by the time it gets to you, the reader, it has transformed into something else and when your eyes fall upon it, you will read whatever you need to read. That's what's so amazing about it. And this collection is a real testimony of that, because there's lots of poets and poems in here that are about one specific thing when I wrote them. But then the readers have said, oh, I relate to this because it's like my breakup, or I relate to this because it's my struggle to conceive, or this reminds me of, you know, this political situation, and none of them are anywhere near what the poem was written about. That's what they needed as the reader. So I'm really excited because obviously it's a new book, but I'm really proud of the poems because of that as well. If we could describe it, it's sort of feminist eco poetry, because it does deal with the climate crisis. It's called Not Quite an Ocean, so it deals a lot with the ocean and the abuse of the ocean and the abuse of nature and how nature just keeps giving even though women are treating it, and obviously that's a fairly obvious parallel with, often, the plight of women women in every situation, especially when I'm like myself, women from the global south of how much we just give and give and give, and yet we're still expected to keep giving even though no one is taking care of us. So that's what the book is about and I think there's a lot in it for even readers who aren't readers of poetry. I would say that in fact I would have a few mom friends I want to send it to who aren't readers of poetry, because as I read it back now, with some distance away from it, I'm like I wish someone had said this to me when I just had my kids. I wish someone had told me it would be like this, not in a hopeless way, like you're going to hate it, but it's okay. It's okay to want to put your kids on eBay. It's okay to not let them do anything. No, etsy, you can't on Etsy because you made them. I mean they were. They took nine months to make. On that, I wish someone had said that. So in a way, it's a book for poetry lovers, but I think it would also be a great book for mothers and mothers who like anything creative and autistic to read.

Poetry is such an art form and art in like abstract art, you know just different kinds. You can take it Very emotionally, not emotionally. You take it kind of as you see it, and everybody can see Different artwork differently and it affects them differently. That's the same thing with poetry. Like you were saying, even if you wrote this one to, you know, illustrate this thought in your mind or or this idea, people can read it and in Digest it and take it, interpret however they are feeling or however they think or however they want it to affect them. And that's really such such Beauty in poetry is that. And your book sounds amazing. I have. I haven't got to read yet, but I'm so gonna get it and read in sounds so. So you kind of hit on earlier that you do your poetry and you write and you make sure you have the time, like when your husband's flying a plane no one's gonna bother him, because he has to know the plane? Yes. So how do you find that balance of you know, writing, focusing and honing on a creative time, and the balance of doing that with being a mom? So how did you find your balance? And do you have anything that you would say to a mom listening that's trying to also find her balance?

I Actually was asked a question similar to this on in a different interview and, in the interest of honesty, I'm not sure I found my balance, because you know, it's like child raising, in the sense that Every the seasons change so quickly first there, I'm sure you know, three hours and they're sleeping ten hours, and then they not be, and then there's milk, and then there's solids, and so my kids are like that and my husband is. He's, you know, he's gone a lot of the time being a pilot and and at home school, so there's not a whole lot of routine in my life anyway which I crave sometimes. Sometimes you're just like I wish these are normal. That's it I have and I'm very privileged. But what I do I I have been able to do is, as I said, to take myself seriously, and that Will then determine the time and the space and the mental space that I need. For example, right now my poetry book is finished, so I'm not creating poetry right now, but I'm promoting it, which is a heck of a lot of hustle, my friend. Let me tell you it's like non-stop. You know whether it's mark because we're doing it all ourselves, aren't we? In the indie publisher, in the writers. We're doing the marketing, the promo, that all of this, you know, which is lots of fun, but it's a lot of work. So that is what I want. So I know that I need, you know, half an hour in the morning for my social media, half an hour midday, half an hour in the evening, an hour or so also, you know, here and there. So it, the project, will really determine that space. But I know that I need, or rather I have not only that, I need, I have, I have made a contract with myself that I will give myself a certain amount of hours a week. I can't remember how many there are, but basically it works out to the whole ones, because that's when my kids are Electivities, because I'm homeschool, so they're always with me, and then two afternoons a week as well. So we homeschool in the morning, and then for about three hours in the afternoon they have a babysitter to come in, and so that is my writing time. Nobody calls me, nobody touches me, I'm not feeding anyone, I'm not responsible for anything. And I must say and I always want to be Honest in saying this it was a struggle. It was a struggle to get my husband on board, although in theory he's on board, but when it comes to the practicalities of no, don't talk to me. You know it's a bit like no, wow, you know. And my family members I have my, my, an elderly relative who has dementia who lives with me and they care. I've got a lot of people in my house all the time. So kind of organizing everyone and being like this is a serious thing. It is an uphill, you know, battle a lot of the time, but it is one that is worth fighting Because after a while, when people see that you are not giving up, they will take you seriously. After a while they see that you are like this is not a hobby. This is not like the times that I thought that I could do pottery and now that's clay all over the. You know the dancers' market. It's not like that. This is a legitimate thing that I'm pursuing in the same way as if I was paid by an employer to do it. You know that's the way you need to. That's the way I need to come at it, because otherwise I just open my computer and I faff on social media and then the time is gone and then you're frustrated with yourself and etc. Etc. So I need that. I also picked up something recently from an ex-guest of yours who I spoke to, dallas Woodburn, who's amazing. I was asked she's got a baby and I was like, well, how did you manage to write your what she's like working on at the moment? She said I give myself 10 minutes every day. So I'm also working on a novel that I've been wanting to write. It's my baby, I love it, it's my favorite idea and it says in the Victorian era. So I kind of need to get into that mindset. So it's, you know, you can't just whatever, like a little bit here and there. But then I thought to myself well, why can't I actually? So I've decided that I'm going to give myself 20 minutes a day to work on that, even if I have to erase it all and start again. At least I know that I'm being consistent with that, and so you know that's kind of what you need to do. I've also scheduling my social media. As many things as can be automated as possible will be automated. And you know if, for now yes, maybe I'm paying more of the babysitter than I'm earning from my books that might be something for now, but if it's going to get me to the point where those sales are going to happen because there's an actual book done, then it's worth the investment. And it's worth the investment for me as a person, for me as an artist and for my creative practice.

It's worth investing in yourself, even if you break even on certain projects or go on vacation, you know, with your poetry sales or anything like that, it's wonderful. Yeah, it's completely worth investing in yourself, no matter what it is or how other people feel about it. If you feel that strongly about it, you go for it, you dive into it Absolutely and just do it, you know.

Yeah, and I'd like to just add to that. I think you said that you have girls. I have girls too. So there is that double necessity for me, in the world that we live in, which is unfortunately still a male-based patriarchal society, that my daughter's tea, that what mommy does or what a woman does, because I am the example for them, that what they do and what they want to do. I mean, I'm assuming they don't want to be serial killers, obviously, because if they want to do that maybe we'll have a talk, but whatever, they want to do.

I turn off the volume and listen to my podcast once I listen to about serial killers.

Whatever they want to do and whatever they are passionate about is legitimate and deserve space and time and momentum in their life. And it's not because they're a woman, it's not because they're a mom, it's not because they're married, it's not because of any of these things that that needs to be put to the side. And it's so important that they see that, especially because I'm fortunate that in my marriage, my husband, his job is his passion and that's wonderful and I'm so glad that they see that too. But there is something doubly important as the mother and as the woman. So on the times that I'm like I'm just going to give up, I realize how excited they are and they are. They are over the moon about everything I do and they started to write poems as well and everything's a poem. And, mommy, can I see a book? And I mean they're just so delighted. So it's, it's. That is kind of the thing that also kind of keeps me going is thinking it's not actually me being selfish, taking time away from them, it's actually showing them what I want them to be and be able to do in their lives later on and let them know that they can do all the things to not make anything seem like outlandish, whether it's like a passion or career or anything. Just be like yeah, you can do that.

If you want to do this, maybe you have to work really hard. You have to put a lot of time and effort to it. You have to, but like you can do it, you totally can.

I think that's also key is the reality is, yes, you know things are not going to fall into it up, but you know and there's also that thing, because you know, we can have it all. That's already been disproved Women can't have it all. They can have some things, you know, because there's only one of us at a time, right. But to also release that, to be like, look, you know, again, I live in France, so maybe I won't be able to make my four course meals every night. Maybe there's be one course, ok, but that's OK, that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. Maybe I won't be able to have amazingly perfect hair every day. Or, you know, I won't be able to spend the time that I wanted to spend learning the Greek version of the Iliad with my children. You know, whatever it is that I had, we've got to. We've got to give some things up and be OK with it. There's nothing worse than a martyr, and I don't know why mothers are so often martyrs. It's like, no, you know what? Today you're lucky that they're wearing, you know, underwear. That's fine, they're alive and it's worth it. It's worth giving up a little bit over here and releasing, because otherwise, I mean, it's a recipe for burnout. I speak from experience. It's a recipe for burnout. There's only so much I can do. And you're saying yes to something, you're saying no to something else, and that's OK. There are some things that can be said no to. My girls are getting older so I'm able to, you know, offload laundry and little things like that to them, so that's great as well. But it's important that they also see the reality that you can't just super mom and super woman and super wife and super writer and super everything, and that's not. That's not realistic. You know right and you, you do well, you do well and you love it.

I love that we both have girls. My girls are my oldest just turned six and my youngest is three, so I have a six and three. Oh, that's a huge cute. Yes, yes, that's a huge age. Thank you again for joining me today. I've loved every single thing that you said. So let us know where people can connect with you online and follow you on social media and also purchase your book.

It's been so lovely talking to you too. I think we could have talked for ages. To be honest, I think so. So my book you can connect with me, first of all, on social media on Twitter, on Instagram, on TikTok although I don't know what I'm doing on there, so try the other ones and and on YouTube as well. My handle is EMC Writes poetry. On all of my social media you can drop me an email EMCWritesPoetry at gmailcom or my website, Elizabeth M Castillo dot net, and my book is available. Both my books, In fact, my first book, which is called Cajoncito, and my new book, Not Quite an Ocean, are both available from Amazon, which is probably easiest for people who are not in the UK, or directly from my publisher. And and I do legitimately, honestly, genuinely love connecting with people. So please connect with me on social media. Tag me in your projects, Tag me in your latest book release, Show me your artwork, Show me what you had for breakfast. I absolutely love it and and I really hope to connect with some of your listeners because I love this podcast I'm sure it's just like minding people's blessing.

Everyone go follow her in the show. Now it's all put links to everything, so please connect with her.