The Empowerment Solution: Overcome the Fear of Visibility with Dr. Friedemann Schaub

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Hello and welcome to this episode on the empowerment solution; the six keys to unlocking the infinite potential of your subconscious mind. I'm so overjoyed and delighted to be joined by Dr. Friedemann Schaub , who is a physician specializing in cardiology has a PhD in molecular biology and over the last 20 years has specialized in assisting individuals in overcoming fear and anxiety and being an empowered leader of their lives through utilizing Mind Body Spirit connecting modalities such as hypnotherapy, timeline therapy, and NLP and all the things. And in case you're new to our world, or you haven't connected the dots, freedom and is also my beloved husband and life partner. And so I am so overjoyed to be co creating this this podcast for you. And welcome Friedemann.

Thank you for having me. Really excited to be on your podcast.

Yeah, it's, it's really fun. And so first off, I just want to congratulate you on your book, your best selling book, the Empowerment Solution, which is really what we're going to dive in here today about so what would you share just to kind of give a big picture and then now know, we're going to dive into in more depth into specifics yet, what would you share is kind of the overarching big picture of the empowerment solution book.

Well, I mean, first of all, I got the, you would call it download for this book, about seven years ago and a walk. And all of a sudden, it became very clear to me that this is what I need to work on. Because this is what I observed with most of my clients as their biggest stumbling block. I mean, I had anxiety for a long time. And just like many of my clients, I thought that anxiety is really what holds me back. But what holds you back is much more how you respond to these emotions. And how you respond to these emotions is what I'm writing about, which are these survival patterns. And when we're anxious, we're just looking for safety, our subconscious just tries to figure out what it needs to do in order to be okay. And early in our lives, we are developing these patterns, like there's a pattern of invisibility or the pattern of the pleaser, or the pattern of the one that's always blending in the chameleon. And these patterns persist. They continue in our life. And the problem is that these patterns continue also to make us anxious, because we are focusing so much on other people as our source of safety, whether we are avoiding them or whether we are pleasing them. And we're not really focusing ourself. So the book is really about two things. One is how to step out of these patterns. But then also how to reconnect with yourself how to rediscover your authentic truth, so that you can live with greater purpose and joy and meaning, and not just in this mindset of making it through another day.

And if someone's new to the idea, or really also wanting to tap into unlocking the potential, the subconscious mind, is there more than you would say, just as we're setting the stage here about the subconscious mind because it feels like you already were pointing to it and like what helps us feel safe from the inside. And, and also the role of the subconscious mind in that.

While the subconscious is your inner protector, that's one of the major jobs of the subconscious, it's deeper part of the mind. That is there. When we are in the womb that is there. When we are born. Our intellectual capacities are not developed, but the subconscious, this instinctual, deeper aspect that just keeps watch. And in some ways it's like a very protective nanny. That just makes sure we are okay. And when things happen in our lives traumas or we feel neglected or abandoned or rejected. You even small things, the subconscious can get startled and say, Oh, I'm not unconditionally loved. I'm not safe here, this is not stable. But now, how do I get through this. And so then the subconscious comes up with certain patterns that are based on the beliefs that the subconscious forms to make sense out of it. So let's say for example, you have a mother, who is always depressed. And that's really hard for you, because you're not getting attention, your belief may be, well, I need to make sure that mom is okay, so I got to become her caretaker, I got to become the one that's going to make her laugh, because that's the only way for me to get love and attention. And that belief may persist with you far after you're left home, in your next relationships, in your friendships at work. And that is what the subconscious does, it's still beliefs. While nothing has changed, no one told me any different. So we're just going to continue to stick to those patterns in the book, and my work is all about helping the subconscious to get an update, like rewriting your owner's manual. And you can only do this in conscious subconscious collaboration, you can will yourself to be different. But you can teach the subconscious how to see the world in yourself different. And that's the power of working with the subconscious mind, because the subconscious is a great listener. But it just needs to be talked to.

Yeah, and what you're pointing to there is that the subconscious is often going from a very outdated job description or an experience that's not even currently happening anymore. And that the primary focus of the subconscious, like you said, is that the individual survives that you under that you survive in order to do what I would say, in order to do, what you came here to be and do and have. And so that like updated job description is is a really important part of what you do with your clients and also in the book, because, as you mentioned, there is that like, Oh, I'm just continuing to operate over a very outdated way of being. So I know we're gonna go deeper into one of the survival patterns. And there are, how many are there are there,

there are six survival patterns in two major survival modes. Just one thing would you as I said, so that people understand the subconscious has another purpose. It's not just to protect us, and that other purpose is to make us happy and fulfilled. But if we are only focusing the subconscious on how to survive, whatever we are here to do, and have and be, is not really fully actualized, because it's really about the bare bones survival. So that is why the book is called the empowerment solution because it is about switching from survival mode into thriving mode. Because the subconscious can help you to share your gifts to reach your goals to get what you want. But it needs to feel safe and secure. And it needs to know that you can handle life. And as long as your subconscious is not convinced to that, it will override all your good intentions. And I think a lot of your listeners may know that, that you know you have the desire to write a book if desire to start your own business, you share your gifts and then there's something like an inner critic or something like fear of getting prosecuted or, or a fear of getting rejected, that holds you back makes you procrastinate, which is one of the patterns and that is when you go back into the survival mode because it does not feel safe.

Yeah, so would you say that those slower vibrational body mind emotion, like how the guides call it filters, those voices are the survival voice of the subconscious mind. Like the negative self talk and all of that.

I mean, the inner critic is often chastised is you know, something that we should just get rid of, because it's in our way or the procrastinating part of us is something that you're often calling as lazy or, you know, calling it just as something that is in our in our way to reach our goals. But the truth is, these are just mechanism of the subconscious inner protectors that say, you know, if I going to chastise you now, then you're safe because you're gonna make yourself small, you will not take a risk. You know, put yourself out there and it's much easier for you to get ridiculed or judged by yourself and by others. So that the subcontinent says I'm going to beat you down before someone else can do it. Because that's at least something I know I can control that if others may do this for you, who knows where this leads, so it's a form of protection. Same as procrastination. The procrastination says, you know, before we are failing or getting in discomfort or doing things that we're actually then proving to ourselves that we're not capable of, we just going to focus on cleaning the refrigerator or watching a little TV or YouTube or tick tock because that gives me instant distraction and gratification. And we don't have to deal with that that potentially can hurt us.

And so we're, we're going deeper into unlocking the infinite potential, as well as the subconscious mind. And so we've identified like these negative self talk, or these protective mechanisms, these survival modes are mechanisms of the subconscious mind on the protective side. And yet, would you also say that those like, you can do it, you got it. Because the other thing I noticed as a high achiever, myself, and also a lot of our listeners, and clients, really being high performers, that there can also be that like, you can do it and these very vast and amazing goals or targets, that also has like that the the voice of the subconscious mind, or the mechanism of the subconscious mind is related to the part of bringing joy, the part of being fulfillment. So it's reminding me as you know, of course, you and I met at a white Tantric Yoga Camp how, in kundalini yoga, they talk about the positive mind, the negative mind and the neutral mind. And as we're talking about this, it feels like we've identified the negative mind the caution mind, and then there's the positive mind. So would you also say that that's associated with the part of the subconscious mind? And, and it feels a little bit more complex than that, then the part is like, oh, yeah, you got this, you can do this, of course, you're gonna write a book, or whatever it is.

I mean, that is where the subconscious then goes into the thriving mode. And they can exist, you know, parallel to each other simultaneously. The thing is just sometimes you get into this inner conflict, I mean, a good example is to want to go forward with a mission. And then use takes that first three, four steps, maybe you're right before launching it. But then the other side says, oh, no, no, no, this is too dangerous. And you find millions of excuses, and to never really come to fruition with it. So there is definitely this positive mind too. But the positive mind doesn't hold you back. It's the negative mind or the protective side of the subconscious that holds you back. Now, the beauty about it is that it can create balance, that it doesn't have to be one needs to be shut off, and the other needs to be just listened to. You can create balance, but the balance is you discerning when you listen to both voices. What is the best way forward? Let's say the positive mind would say hey, yes, let's invest $100,000 into advertisement that sounds great. And then a protector says, Well, you know, we only have 50,000 in the bank. So that would be really, really expensive. And we would go into debt. And then you as the middle person, you could say, well, I guess you're right, maybe we should just do $25,000 In an investment, and nod right away, you know, get into our nest egg and and empty it. And so that is a beauty when you're starting understanding that none of these emotions need to be reacted to, but you can respond to them, you can find balance with it. Another example is dating. So many people don't want to be alone. And they go on dates. And they go into second and third and fourth date. And then the inner protector says yeah, do you remember how you got hurt the last time I this person betrayed you. This was such a heartache. And then you just quit because there's again there's dance two steps forward, two steps back and and that's a very classic way of feeling stuck in these survival patterns. And what you describe about this inner voice and actually some prices I'm teaching also in the book, which is the inner cheerleader, and you and I have been watching this movie, which was Aqua marine about some mermaids very sweet and very cheesy and, and they had these little tiny starfish on their ears, and they were always just whispering in the ears. You're so beautiful. You're so amazing. Yes, of course you can do this. And I developed because of your inspiration there. The inner cheerleader the inner tle is just this, this voice inside of me that is appreciating and approving of things I'm doing even if they're very mundane, like vacuum cleaning or just cleaning the horse manure in our in our paddock. If that is something that also really helps for the subconscious to see, oh, you appreciate yourself, you are actually, you know, someone who's following through and. And that also gets you much more out of this survival mode and and certainly something that makes you feel more the leader of your life than being just a reactionary follower of your emotions and of those different patterns of the subconscious.

Yeah. And you said there are two modes of the subconscious mind. So is that the survival mode and the thriving mode are what are the two modes?

Well, you could say Surviving and Thriving or purpose, joy, fulfillment, all of those things. It's like expansion and contraction. And certainly, the expansive mode is the mode that says, you know, I'm here for a purpose of heavier give gifts to share in the world I have meaning I'm an integral part of the web of life. And then there is that contraction mode that says that no matter, I just need to make it through the end, and even if that means they're going to get stuck in this little comfort zone that I'm building for myself.

Yeah, well, and it is interesting, too, that the cheerleader and I know, that's where it's multi-dimensional, and you're so amazing with what you do with your clients. And like one of the best listeners and the most curious individual that I know, at the biggest heart of just, you know, we can't just say it's this or that because, you know, I know that that part that says like you're on a big mission, you can do this you can write a book you can take on all these things can also be like the subconscious protective mechanism side of things that has you go like, Oh, yes, you can do all these things. And then none of them ended up happening. So that can look like like the High Achiever part of us can look like, the cheerleader or the positive mind. Yeah, it can also be kind of masquerading as the protective mechanism and like a self sabotage pattern. So let's go into the invisibility mode. And it felt like this one was really standing out a lot, because I know for myself and our clients and that, that that fear of visibility can be such a big one, it can be so stored in the cellular memory. And there can be so many stories running that. And also, I just want to add, like a lot of what the Magdalene say, and, you know, the guides and the work that we do is that we need to have our signature energy strong, like we need to be vibrationally visible and also to be seen in order to be fulfilled and joyful and have that meaning. And a lot of times if we are saying like okay, I'm choosing to actualize a new loved one or I'm choosing to stop my side hustle and make it a full time job, full time career, whatever those things are. And and then, as you said, like, right as it's about to actualize or manifest we go invisible, then it's like the story that the guides always use, it's like ordering something online or from Amazon and then right before it gets delivered, you move and you don't update your address. So let's talk about the invisibility and, and a little bit more about that survival mode and and how each of these survival modes have both sides, right, there's a surviving and then also how it can be reframed or given a new job description to to be moving forward with the meaning and the purpose.

I mean, visibility is one of the earliest, maybe the earliest survival pattern because if you realize that the survival pattern and start early in our life, well, you become invisible, or you want to be invisible when you can really not defend yourself. And when you're very little, when you are very dependent. And when the world feels very big to you, just hiding out like a little mouse, it's not getting any negative attention seems just safer than putting yourself out there. So it's very instinctual. It's very subconscious. Now, it's interesting that you say the overachiever the overachiever can also use achievement and being the go getter and all of those things as an invisibility pattern. Because so many people, even the people, you could say that artists spiritual path that really feel like I want to move forward on my enlightenment past. There is also the possibility that this is a shield to be invisible behind. And I see this often with my clients that are on a very dedicated spiritual paths that they are avoiding to show that What they don't feel safe for the world to be seen. And that's often the wounds that they carry their insecurities, their lower frequencies, beliefs, and ideas and things that they just feel like, well, I shouldn't feel this way. I'm an overachiever, I'm a spiritual disciple of, you know, a pass that I'm on. So I should not feel jealous, I should not feel still like a victim, I should not still have all this pain and hurt and insecurity and doubt inside of me. And so you become invisible to the world in those aspects that are actually important aspects of yourself, because they all have to teach us something, and you become invisible to yourself, because you don't want to look inside anymore. You don't want to honor that there is something nagging inside of you, that your subconscious says, what about this? And you're just saying, no, no, no, we're not going there. Because we have other things to do, or we are way beyond this, we have been working on ourselves so much, you have done 50,000 Retreat. So it cannot be any more than Well, if it's still there, it shows its face, and it will just become stronger, because we are ignoring it. So Invisibility is very tricky. We have to be very mindful that whatever we have inside of us deserves to be seen, whether we want to now broadcast to the world or not, that needs to be you know, seen. But if there are people that you love and close to, you want to show up with all aspects of yourself, not just with those that shine, and seem to be acceptable, but also the other parts of you that are more, you know, weak and scared and vulnerable. Those are also important. The way to turn around the Invisibility is to understand that Invisibility is also not just a protection from the outside, you know, the dangers are the people that can hurt or reject us. What is the subconscious protecting what the subconscious is protecting is that most precious aspect of ourself, which is our innocence, and I often tell the story to you, about me being, you know, this happy go lucky child, that just wonderful things in the world. This is how I grew up, I was fascinated by everything, I literally could see the energy of walls and how the wolves are moving, like in The Matrix movie. And I was really just in the magic of it all until I was told I'm not smart enough, or I am late bloomer, and that kicked me into this overachiever mode. And all this innocence, all this belief and trust, had to go somewhere. And that innocence was put into hiding. And so that is really what Invisibility is we are trying to hide the most precious aspects of us, the most authentic aspects of us that we feel the world is not accepting. And we are hiding it and hiding and hiding it. And at some point, we forget that he was even there. Forget that there is actually something so precious inside of us. Because we've stopped looking, we literally say, Well, I guess I'm the overachiever. I guess I'm that person. But I'm not really the, you know, one that sees magic and is happy go lucky. And the goal in this overcoming and turning the invisibility chapter around by pattern around is to find that innocence again, to remember what it is before you lost it and really just an Earth, those very precious gems that inside of you. And I mean, I did this certainly, through a lot of work and a lot of support, also of yourself, is to regain trust in me, leaning into life leaning into the universe, leaning into the magic of the flow. And it was difficult because I didn't believe it, I was much more in the Achieving control mode. And, and so that's something that if you remember that there is something inside of you that you're hiding. It's no longer about I want to be invisible from others. It's more like wow, I have forgotten that there is something inside of me that's so precious and so powerful in such a gift. And they're going to go on to this treasure hunt. Bring it back to me. And in those moments, you realize that you have more to garner from seeing yourself than from hiding yourself.

And what would you say the like the ripple effects of, of having the safety the feel, and to choose to be visible to see ourselves is like how does that ripple out into your clients lives that you've shared a little bit in your life just really because sometimes it's important to to not only be moving away from invisibility yet, like what's on the other side of that?

Well, what really happens is that you You are feeling your inner center of gravity, you are realizing in the moment that this is, when you have an Earth, this piece that was always missing, you're bringing back the awareness that it's your life, and that your life is more than just surviving. But your life is here for a mission for a purpose. And that mission can only really come to flourish. And if you are connecting to this part inside of you that was hidden, you realize that we are all in the same boat, because everyone lost it in a sense, at some point, everyone lost that, what is unique and precious about them, because we all go through the same system of being told you have to function you have to measure up, you have to compare compete, and then you forget, and so everyone who is simply judging you, or rejecting you, is probably also dealing with that same pain of missing something inside that they have not found. And if you have this connection to this precious inner self, you also have access to a compassion that is deeper than anything that you've ever experienced before. And I believe the best shield to protect ourselves from judgment is to be compassionate with those that judge us. Because if you realize that they only project on to you, whatever is inside of them, their pain, their discomfort, I could tell many stories of where I was judging people from something that I knew I was jealous off, or I didn't have. So it was subconsciously much easier to judge them and make them wrong than asking myself why don't I allow myself to be like this? Or why don't I get this? Or why can I do this. So when we know that perception of other people in ourselves is just the projection onto them. Meaning like 90% of what we see in others, it's really our story and not theirs. And you're really free from rejection, because you know, it's not about you, it's about them. And it is your joy, that your choice and your your purpose, to not get distracted by rejection, but really walking on that path to let your purpose unfold. And there are other ways in the book to connect to your purpose, your authenticity. But that's a big step, re memering that there is something inside of you that you use to hide and bring this back and realizing this is really the void that I have been feeling I wanted to fill it with all these things, relationships, money, achievements, and it still felt empty, because that piece was really what I didn't have, and I couldn't find on the outside, I can only find on the inside.

One of the things I love about your approach and your work is is that it is really empowering and including that, that the survival patterns are keys to unlocking the infinite potential. So the inner critic or the inner judge, or that the helper the invisibility, like the the survival pattern modes, they're actually allies, just like in your other book, the fear and anxiety solution, how you really are proponent that the fear and the anxiety is it it? It has a purpose? And why would we fire our best player, our strongest teammate, it's simply like updating how we began the conversation to the current mode. So that I feel like is one of the gems of your empowerment solution. Methodology body of work is that we have everything inside of us, including what we may judge or may not like or have is feeling is on preferred. So as we're wrapping up here, I did want to just have you say the the survival modes again, and just a little bit about how like we may identify, because I remember you're bringing the chapters I was like, what chapter are you on, I need your views, I could see. I could see it coming through and, and that we kind of have all of them and yet we may identify or or struggle or have more infinite potential tied up in one or another.

So the survival patterns, and the keys that unlock the potential of the patterns and turn them around are basically six. So there are six patterns. And there are six keys to unlock the potential. And so the pattern the first pattern is a victim mode where we are basically always feeling that the past is still hanging over us that we're even victimized by our own body because it's not the way we want it to be or our Emotions are a god or any of those things. And so the key that turns us around is self responsibility, where we are understanding that our past, and anything that happened to us, ultimately, is the best thing that ever happened. Because it's a learning experience. It's something that helps us to grow, it's something that we can really, also, ultimately find our past again, you know, it's so easy to distract ourselves by what other people do to us, rather than seeing what was done to us is actually the opportunity for us to tap into something that we didn't even know, we were capable off. And the best example is forgiveness. Forgiving a perpetrator doesn't mean you're letting them off the hook or forgetting what happened to you. But forgiving is the shedding away of their imprint of their, their energy that they have been pushing upon you, the beliefs that they've made you hold on to yourself, all of those things of letting go and forgiving, and finding a healing and no neutrality with it. That is taking self responsibility. And that sets you free. And there is a whole process in the book about that. The second key, and the second pattern is the invisibility, just like we said, and, and the key to unlock this inner hidden place is self compassion. Because if you really have compassion with what happened to you, and why you were so desperate to hide this preciousness, then you can also have compassion with whatever part inside of you is still hiding, and is still not sure. Am I okay? Can I really do this? Because when we do and we talked about this, when we hear this voice, oh, no, no, this is too much, you know, too scary. We call it the inner critic, we get frustrated, we get angry, that makes that part inside of us, of course, even more afraid. And that makes us part even more like wanting to hide out because not even we are safe anymore. Because we have negative energy to compassion that locks that. The third key on the third pattern is a pattern of procrastination. And to unlock procrastination is self reliance. That's a whole big chapter about what does it mean to be self reliant? What does it mean to build confidence by being true to your word, and making your word count, and there is a process around that. Because when you are constantly lying to yourself, it is like someone lying to you, you lose trust, and you lose that believe that this person actually is someone that has good intentions. And if you do this to yourself, that's exactly what happens as well. You don't feel that you can trust yourself. And that, of course, is complete undermining your confidence. Then the fourth pattern is a chameleon pattern. That's a pleaser pattern where we're blending in, we're taking on fluidly all what other people want us to be their behaviors that we have targeting that believes because we want to just fit in. And that's a very common one these days. So many young people especially want to just fit in, through all these external influences social media, that they don't really ask himself anymore, who am I, what I'm about. And the key is self awareness and the awareness, meaning, your essence, that what you're born with your consciousness that stays with you from the very moment you're incarnate, all the way to where you are leaving the body and then moving on to another life or another existence, that eternal self, how often do we actually connect to that and there is a whole process in it that helps you to go back and really realign with your essence. Then the fifth pattern is a pattern of the helper over please or sometimes the martyr. And they're that the key to unlock is self commitment. And it's basically committing to your energy into your time and bringing back to yourself that birthright that you need to take yourself first you need to fill your cup first before you're sharing it with others. And it addresses also the very common five or six excuses that a helper always dies like oh no, taking his selfish giving us better and all those things and basically turning them around and then this experiment is the lover pattern and the lover pattern is that what people often do when they are focusing on only one person on an intimate relationship and that person is the Savior that person is the one that makes them complete that person is the one that makes all the pain go away. And we often know the problem is it's you know, to the best creates codependent relationships to the worst it creates abusive relationships because often we are drawn to the people that are more taking vantage of us. And you know, I see this often with people getting stuck in even, you know, sociopaths and narcissistic behavior and narcissistic partners. But because they have this lover pattern they are holding on to that relationship and don't realize no, this actually destroys me, this doesn't really fill me up because there's endless hope, well, they just have to be a little bit different, they have to be a little bit more patient that have to give a little bit more. And then we're going to turn it around. And the key naturally, to unlock this pattern instead of something that is much more about thriving and an expansion is self love. And I love this chapter because so many people tell me Yeah, I heard about self love. But you know, it's easier said than done. I don't know how to do it, everyone says you should love yourself, but how do you actually begin and in there is very step by step process, and how you can fall in love with yourself. And that's something that came to me, you know, in the process, and I just love that as a big gift to the universe to, to have that finally written out how to fall in love with yourself. And so that's how the keys look like. And then there is in the final chapter, how to put it all together and become the Empowered leader of your life.

Wow, so beautiful. Yeah, so inviting you to get the empowerment solution wherever you buy books. And, you know, to me, it's really an amazing experiential opportunity as you're sharing and like, you know, so much of your background freedom in of being a physician, like also you understand the bodies aspect and how the subconscious mind and prints into the body and the memories can be stored there. And then like your 20, whatever years of having 1000s of one on one in depth sessions, it's like this concentrated experience. And, you know, one of our friends editor said, like, there's a lot of self help books out there. But this book actually helps. And so yeah, I'm, I'm so proud of you, Friedman, and so happy that this body work is getting out into the world. And for those of you tuning in here, I highly encourage you to pick up the book where books are sold, and I believe you have like a super juicy bonus in there too when they get the book. Yeah, anything else you want to complete with as we're wrapping up here? And we'll have the links to have stuff that in the show notes, or you can get it to?

Yeah, no, I just encourage you to go and go on this journey to yourself, with the help of this book, take your time, every step along the way brings you closer, this is not a let's see no reading quickly in the toilet. This is something you want to actually work with in depth. I know from experience with myself as I was writing the book, but also from working with clients on those aspects of the book. It is transforming your life. And it is bringing your home to yourself. That's I'm really excited about

Yeah, and you also have an audio version that you recorded. And that's another way to for for those of you who are that are called to like have you be guiding them through the processes in there and being able to really dive in. So there's lots of ways to access this information as well as to work directly with with you because you also work with clients. So thank you freedom and for being here. Thank you empowerment solution for being out in the world. And thank you for tuning in and listening, sending much love and blessings.