Celebrating Mothers: A Tibute To My Mom and Her Life Lessons l S1E065

Welcome, everybody, welcome to a call for love. I'm chuckling because I did something silly. And the reason why it's so funny is because this episode is about mothers. It is the month of May as I record this, and Mother's Day is coming out. I want to talk about mothers, and in particularly my mother, who was a really wonderful woman, so awesome, such an inspiration in my life. But sometimes she did silly things, and I just did a silly thing. So I really feel like she's here. I had done this whole recording without my microphone plugged in. So now I'm taking two with a chuckle, I'm going to take it light hearted, because why take life so seriously, she would say she had a great sense of humor, which coming up is one of her life lessons. In any case, I have a dear friend who said to me just a couple of weeks ago, I love your mom. And I looked at her and really, she's never met my mom. Oh, she knows my mom, because she's listening to a call for love. And if you listen to a call for love podcast, then you'll know that I often share stories about my mother. Now my mother's name was Josephine or see me, a lot of people called her Joe. And Joe is in my heart. Still, she's been gone two years, but gone from the material world, but not from the spiritual world, not inside myself. And today, I want to honor her. Now, you have a mother that may be present or past. And so this episode, you will also enjoy because it's going to give you an opportunity to go down memory lane and honor the mother that you had, really feeling that I've had such beautiful and powerful female, divine spirits. In my life, I cannot tell you how much they have meant to me. They have been instrumental into the evolution of my mothering into my womanhood. And so I would like to share four questions with you. You can write them down, I will put them in the show notes. So don't feel that you have to write them down. But you can journal or think about them, or share them with your family. In fact, as I was preparing this episode, I emailed these questions to my family. I'm the youngest of 11. So I was able to share them with my brothers and sisters. And the dialogue that was created is so heartfelt. Because my brother, the eldest brother, he sent a video and his video was my mom sharing something very important. It was really, really beautiful to actually see her and hear her in video. So if you have videos, bring those out, bring those out whenever it calls to you, especially in the month of May when we do celebrate our month. So number one is what is the most important advice your mom gave you. And this is where I'm saying the video my brother shared was my mom up at his cottage sharing her four key life lessons. She loved to live very full life. She had a sense of adventure, a sense of joy in her and one of hers. There's four she shared was to be kind, be kind. That's all that we can ask of ourselves is to be kind. She was kind. In fact, she of course was a mother to 11 children, but many people called her mum, she was like everybody's mom, which is really beautiful. And she was kind she had a big and loving heart. Her first life lesson is behind. The second one is be honest, both my mother and father really valued honesty. They wanted to raise honest citizens and I really appreciate that integrity, really standing for honesty, not only just in your actions, but in your words and then your sense of essence into this world. This planet that we live in for animals are life. other beings, to be honest. The next one is to forgive. Yes, she did not hold grudges. She said life is too short. In essence, it is too short. And that's why she really believed in the power of forgiveness. Both my mother and father really strived and they wish they really emulated that, you know not do as I say but do as I do and they live that action of forgiveness. And forgiveness is so important. She often said that if she did something that she didn't know was hurtful to somebody else through her actions or her words, then she didn't know. But if she knew that she had heard somebody, she would apologize. And so that is her way to make amends. And she would forgive just as she hoped other people would forgive her because of course, we're only human, and we make mistakes. So forgiveness, what a beautiful thing, right. And the last one is sense of humor. That's why I was chuckling at the beginning of this episode, because my mother did have a great sense of humor, as well as my father. And humor is so important. We can't take ourselves so seriously. Because in the end, it doesn't really even mean anything. If I had to record this episode 10 times. So it's 10 times, it doesn't really mean anything, I could take myself more lighthearted. And that's what my mother taught is a sense of humor. She loves to giggle, and she especially loves hearing stories about my boys. When they were growing up, she would giggle, she would laugh. You know, if something funny happened in my life, I'd be I can't wait to tell my mom. Right? I can't wait to bring her that news. And hear her joy and giggle and laugh. Even if it was not so great. She would chuckle because you know, what the heck? What can you do? It is what it is. And so I don't know, if you get that feeling. You know, when something happens, and you want to share it with your mother. There's just something about sharing it with your mother figure. It's really beautiful and special. And so those were her four key life lessons to be kind to be honest, to forgive, not hold a grudge and have a sense of humor. That's what she shared on a video which now we have to treasure and to remember by but in my personal life, I do remember her saying I said to her one day, Mom, I'm having a bad day. She says Linda, you're having a bad day. I had bad years. And so my her advice basically, to me was that, you know, it's all okay. You know, you got a bad day bad years it in, in the whole grand scheme of things is going to be okay. Because sometimes I would worry about the future. Oh, Mum, what's going to happen? You know, when I retire when when the kids move out? When this happens? She says Linda, why are you worrying about the future? That's that's, that's in the future. It's not now just worry about now think about now. She back then mindfulness was not a huge buzzword. But now, I realized she was my guru of mindfulness. So she would really be present. No. So those are some of the pieces of advice my mom gave me. Now, as I listen back to this episode, in the future, I'm going to say, Oh, I could add it this, I could add this, more things are going to come to mind. That's why I will list the questions in the show notes. And maybe you want to write a journal or keep a little keepsake that you can share and have your family add to and then pass down because these are traditions that we are the product of those who came before us. And so maybe that's what you may want to hold space for. Those are the ones that I am sharing today. And I wonder what you what advice your mom gave you that has been helpful and supportive in your life. You know, for all the frailties, all the positivity that a mother brings into your life is through her actions and her love and her words that you learn. Now, it could be direct advice, or just incidental advice. But really noticing where your rules and routes come from is very interesting. Now number two, right, there's four questions. The second question is, what are your first memories of your mom? This is a really great one. I had a lot of fun thinking back because one of my first memories of my mom is I was in kindergarten and I know I was in kindergarten because it was a half a day. And the house was quiet. It was just my mom and I and she was knitting. She was on the couch. She was netting and I had my head

tilted against her watching her net and it was mesmerizing. I just watched I watched and watched and she net net. I wasn't watching TV. I wasn't on electronics. No, not back then I would just watch your net. Well, lo and behold, the phone rang because my mom loved talking on the phone. And so she dropped her knitting, went answered the phone, and I was left there while I picked up her knitting and started knitting. And I just knit. I just I just guess I was following her and I started knitting and she came back and she says, What are you doing? I said, I'm knitting mummy. And she giggled, and she, so she taught me right then in there, how to knit and to this day, I still enjoy knitting. I like knitting when I went to visit her in her home, because I could actually carry a conversation. And, you know, being doing something that was creative and constructive. I do find that I am in a knitting group now, and I really love it. I don't do it all the time. But it's something that I do like to do, I do have my fine arts. And I played the guitar and I do other things, but has always held a special place in my heart. And I believe it probably comes from my first memory of my mum. But there's other couple months that I want to share. So when I was really little, I said to my mom, Mommy, can you buy me an easy bake oven? I don't know if you know them, but there used to be these little toy ovens that actually you could bake a cake and and she says, No, Linda, you can use the big one. So right then and there. She taught me to bake cakes. She taught me to cook and use the big oven. And then one day I said to her, Mommy, can you buy me a barbie sewing machine? And she said, No, you can use the big one. And so at a very, very young age with my little fingers. I was sewing Barbie clothes. And then I eventually grew up to work in fabric lands, so in garments for the store, but my mum was very instrumental in helping me develop and nurture my creative side. I am so so grateful to her for that because I feel I am very creative. I love it. I love painting. I love all the arts. And so those are my first memories of my mother. She was such a instrumental person in this way. She finished school at grade 10 to help support her family. But yet her reading she read and read and read probably my love of reading comes from my parents as well. She would read the read the classics from Jane Austen. She would read Jane Eyre I have one of her original books that is very dear to me one of my favorite books Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte. She'd read The Great Gatsby, the tale of two cities, she read the classics and her cursive writing was so beautiful. She was very literate in these ways, even though she only finished to grade 10. So I have really beautiful memories of my mom's thirst for knowledge she even to her last days, she would always try to use one big word a day to keep her mind sharp. So what are your favorite memories of your mother? Number three, what family habits or traditions come from your mother's side. Now to share being the youngest of 11 children, I did not have any grandparents growing up, they had all passed. So the traditions that I know actually come from my mother. Although my brothers and sisters do have other traditions. One of the main ones that I learned from my mother is her homemade baked birthday cakes, where she would actually get the icing and write Happy Birthday and put our names. My parents both my parents were very instrumental in honoring us on our birthdays, birthdays were a big deal. I that was very special because having a loving children, how are you really going to individualize and just acknowledge each child. And so they did it through birthdays. My father, even though this is about mothers, I do want to share my father would create a big poster. And he would take quarters and glue them in the shape of the number that you were turning. And then write all your attributes that were positive and enlightening and share the data and everyone on it. He went to great lengths and would put it on the kitchen fridge. And I even remember Come to think of it that just came on my mind is back in the day Baskin Robbins was really close to our house and he would order a whole will tell me in the tub that they keep in the store for the family and you got to pick your flavor. Now I remember others ordering pralines and cream I did was not a fan of Burlington cream. But one year my father would let me buy a whole big, huge of peanut butter and chocolate ice cream. And so they were very instrumental in creating traditions of celebrating birthdays, which I truly appreciate. Another thing is, is that we have Boxing Day. My father's sister was Aunt Eleanor, and she was a nun. She could not leave on Christmas Day. So my mother began the tradition of having Christmas on Boxing Day, which actually turned out why well, because when my siblings got married, and they had families, you didn't have to share. You could be at one partner's family one day, and then Boxing Day was for the ERC knees where we eventually would rent ice rinks and go skating or play hockey. So those are just some of the traditions that we have a lot in traditions, but those are some I wonder what traditions you are carrying on from your parents? This is a really interesting question because some may be serving you which are treasured traditions. And some may be are ready to, you know, move on to something to notice and become aware of this is a great conversation around the kitchen table during dinner if you want to talk about this with your family, but those are some of my family traditions. Now, number four is what are your favorite memories of your mother's so not the first memories, but just memories in general. My mom I have to share was a romantic she loved reading romance novels. She had seven cents and she loved men. She loved the the power and the influence and the kindness of men. She raised wonderful sons, my brothers and she loved romance. She loved romance. If somebody was dating or getting engaged or getting married, she was right in there just absolutely loving the energy of love. Another favorite memory of my mom is that one year, we went to Canada's Wonderland. I have a sister in law, Joanne and she still will mention this story. So we got in this tube. We were going on a ride that was on a river and you got in this big tube there could have been like six of us. And so we all sat down there and we're going down this river. We're spinning, we're spinning, we're spinning. And then we see this waterfall coming up. And we're like, oh my goodness, somebody's gonna get wet. Somebody's gonna get wet. We don't know who it is. But the anticipation is building. And sure enough when we got under the waterfall, guess who got it? It was my mom and it came down in buckets. Like she had her hair you know which put it in rollers. It was all done up while the water poured down. And she looked like a drone rat. When she got off the ride. She was dripping. And you know what her response was? Laughter She giggled and laughed and giggled and laughed. And my sister in law, Joanne sitter, when we got off, we're walking through the park. She says, Well, Aren't you upset. And my mother is so strong. It was hot out. So now not hot anymore. It's quite cool. She had a really positive, Sunny Side Up attitude. I really appreciate that. I mean with having 11 Children of busy husband that was working. Back in those days, you had to have a sense of humor, which was actually her last of her four life lessons was a sense of humor. So I really, I that is a really special memory that I hold. I try to include laughter and starting this episode the way I did. I feel like she's really here with us now. Now, another favorite memory of my mother is she loved volunteering. My parents were big on volunteering, she would work at the hospital. She did that for almost 15 years in the gift shop. She was part of the parent committee in high school. She was part of the Catholic Women's League. She my both my parents really valued serving, serving others being contributing to society at large. And she loved that it

was a teacher. She felt like that was a very noble career. And I really appreciate that memory of my mom. And the other thing my sister had mentioned to me when I was preparing for this was I was the youngest and so Of course, you're busy raising 11 children. But when he came to me, you know, everything was coming down a little bit and and she wanted the same kind of action. And she was spending a lot of time on me and kind of driving me crazy as a teenager, right? You want a little bit more anonymity, and you want a little bit more independence and privacy. But she said to her mom, you know, let them to be. Why don't you get what he is? Why don't you get into business? Why don't you sell Tupperware? And my mom says, Yes, sell Tupperware, and my sister says, Well, you raised 11 children. Yes, you can certainly sell Tupperware. So at the age of 65, she got her first job, she began to sell Tupperware, but the only thing is, she forgot to tell her my dad about it. So she signed up, and she became Tupperware representative and began to sell Tupperware, well, I'll tell you, everyone had Tupperware. You know, she always used to say that she was her best client. And there came a day that I started making body butter, which I still make now, because I just don't like the perfumes and the fillers of storebought cream. And she would take that on as her business, she would, she would say, oh, Linda's makes body butter, you got to try it. And then she would sell that she really liked actually business, I think in in a different time. If she didn't have the life that she lived, she would have definitely been an entrepreneur. Like her father, her father used to go door to door selling pasta sauce before it was in the grocery stores. So she had a really soft spot for salespeople, you know, door to door salespeople, they don't do it so much now, but she was always donating. And she would always buy from the underdog or from somebody who needed support, which is a beautiful memory of my mother. Now, my mother was a pillar of strength and love. And I consider her everyone's mother. I have, as I said before, I've been blessed with many poor mother figures. And my mother in law was also a really beautiful influence in my life, she taught me how to be so gracious and supportive. And so even if your mother, for some reason, did not fill that space within you that you're longing for, I believe, even as a school teacher, I was mothering lots of lots of students, lots of children. So I feel that in the month of May, as we honor mothers, I think it's the mothering, it's the nurturing to, that we really want to hold space for, and use that as a catalyst for sharing that maternal instinct with others, you know, if there is a place in you that you do not feel filled with the way that your mother supported and raised you then really nurturing that holding space for that I like to call it self compassion, you know, rubbing your heart, but then, you know, maybe going to a home where there's older people and volunteering for these, these lonely woman. And I'm talking about women here because it's the month of May so of course you can do for for anyone in the in the home. But see if you can shift that, see if you can kind of do that healing, that that circling up where you can, you can give what you didn't get, right. And as I said, you know, my mother was everybody's mother, as she there were people who of course, were not my brothers and sisters, and who would call their mom. So I feel and know in my heart, that there are females that could use that mothering love from you, even if your mother has gone and you want to offer it to others who are older than you. In any case, as I think about my mom and our mothers today, I feel that they are just such a strong part of our life, even if they're not present here. If they are if you have your mother here then really hold her dear. I remember sharing about me posting pictures of book on mum and some friends saying Oh, you're so lucky you still have your mum. And now that my mother's like I could cry now. Now that my mother is not here in the physical world. I can really appreciate that because life is so precious. It's so precious. And so we want to hold space for our mothers in this month. Thank you for listening. Thank you for welcoming my memories of my mother into your space. And please offer this to your family in terms of you may be sharing these questions and maybe journaling or reflecting in any way that resonates. In any case, wishing you a beautiful month of May. And love to you if your mother if you mother, others in terms of nurturing and to all mothers from my heart to yours, Namaste