What to Stop, Start and Care More About | S1E012

Hello and welcome to a call for love. I believe the most powerful gift you can offer yourself is to give and receive love more freely. I'm your host Linda Orisini meditation guidance spiritual coach. Everyone has the desire to be seen, heard, respected and loved. The journey to becoming more connected to your greater purpose lies within the ability to live from the deep source of love within you. Let's begin.

I'm really excited to share with you some insights I received from reading this book, aging for beginners by Ezra Baden, and with Elizabeth Hamilton. Although you may sound like you have to be old to read this book. No, not at all. Aging for beginners is about how we're living and how we're moving forward in our lives. And I read this book one because I was very interested it was recommended from a lovely lady named Kitty. But also because I recently spoke about ageing with grace to the Canadian Federation of University Women, the Oakville chapter, and I received such a heartwarming review from Susan stabbing the program chair. She said, We recently had Linda speak at our monthly Cfu W O Phil Zoom meeting. She connected so well with our members and spoke with ease sharing some insightful parables that align with her presentation. She is an inspiring and compelling speaker. And the feedback from our group has been fabulous. She created a very relaxed and safe setting, and taught us some relaxation and meditation strategies to help us age with grace. Thank you, Linda, we look forward to listening to more of your podcast episodes. Thank you, Susan. It was such a privilege to speak to these women. And it really got me thinking, what if you only had a couple of months left to live? What would your life look like? How would it be different? What would make it the same? Well, Mary Oliver and American poet who derive true inspiration from nature, who she really loved long walks outside alone. She asked this question, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? Wow, that is so powerful. What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? Do you have that thought in your mind every morning when you wake up? That this is such a precious day? How are you going to live it? If you haven't, let's dive into this a little further. Let's do some reflection. As a starting point, consider how you might realign your time and priorities. If you learn that you only had a couple months left to live, this is not morbid. It's just a call for love. A call for noticing how we're living. Are we living as a robot just going through the motions just waiting for the weekend just waiting for the next season just waiting for the next holiday? How are we living each day? If we knew our time was very precious, and it wasn't going to last much longer? Would we live differently? So the first question I'd like to ask you is what if anything, would you stop doing? So what would you stop doing? That is something to think about? I would like to share a couple of things that I would definitely stop doing. I would stop ruminating about the past and worrying about the future. I tend to do that I'm very cerebral. And I'm always thinking and replaying incidences and scenarios that happened in the past. And if I'm not doing that, I'm worrying about the future. I don't know where this came from, but I'm really good

at it. It is a talent. So this is something

I always am very mindful of No wonder I got into yoga and meditation is because it really trains me to be present and not worrying about those two extremes. It's about being in the moment. And if I only had several months to live, I definitely want to live in the moment. The next thing I would stop doing is comparing myself to others. And when I mean that, I mean I'm on my path, and I associate and look up to other people who are on the same path. as I am, but much farther ahead, so I'm always comparing myself, oh, you know, they have 200 episodes on their podcast out, or they have done this, or they have done that. And I'm comparing myself, I had this exact talk with Alicia at the yoga studio today, a beautiful young lady. And she says she does that. And I think I could be twice her age. So where is this coming from? Why are we beating ourselves up? Why are we not celebrating each success today? Why can we not celebrate today? where we've come from, instead of always saying, what's next? What's next? What's next. So I would definitely stop doing that. The third thing I'd stopped doing is using my time to do things that are not truly in alignment with my purpose and vision. I'm not always conscientious of how I spend my time, it's very hard to do, you know, I get sucked in, oh, I should go here, I should go there. I could have a day that I have a couple hours free. And I look back and I thought what did I even do? What did I accomplish? Do I need to accomplish something every moment? Absolutely not. However, I would like to stop doing things that are not bringing me joy, aligning with my purpose to serve in kindness and love to others, or not just filling my heart and soul. I can do things that drain me and take away my power or take away my energy. And I would definitely stop doing that I would be very intentional about looking about my tasks, and what I'm doing and where I'm going and whom I am with each day. And be really mindful. Is it going to feed my heart, my mind, my body and soul? If it isn't, stop, I would not do it. I would like to give up the illusion of perfectionism. I feel that I need everything to be done perfect in order for me to even begin it. And that has really inhibited me in my life. I have what they call perfection paralysis that I feel very intimidated to start something if I don't know, I can be perfect at it. You may feel this too. But what does being perfect look like? What is perfectionism? It's actually an illusion. I feel it's something I made up in my mind. And I don't even know what perfect looks like. So I've decided that it's better to start and get it done than expecting perfection. Because if I show up authentically and true, then that's perfect enough. blindly, I would listen to my son Michael, who says, Can you not just relax? I find that I'm always striving, always working, reading, planning, researching, teaching, seeing clients, that I really am not making enough time to relax? And does it have to be a lot of time? No, but every day, I would really like to be more mindful of creating that. So I would stop always doing and being. So that's what I would stop doing. So when you stop doing something, then it creates room for you to start doing. So that's number two, what would you start doing? You only had a couple months to live? What would you start doing? Well, I would create a clear vision of how I want to spend my time, my money and my energy to inspire and nurture me. Often what we want to stop doing creates room in the exact opposite polarity of what we want to start doing. So when I said that I wasn't always mindful of how I was spending my time and energy. Now I want to be more mindful of it. I want to create a clear vision. This is been one of the driving forces behind a call for love podcast, because I had a deep desire to share this message about helping people notice or asking people the questions for you to start noticing. How are you living? Are you living in a place of love peace and joy? Or are you living in with emotions that are really causing you NX? Causing you frustration, stress, anxiety, fear? Where are you standing and just being really mindful of making the shift from from all those unhealthy emotions to a place of love? It's a call for love. So I decided to create this podcast that launches every Tuesday so that I could be really mindful with my creations with my thought process with my writing, and my time schedule to make sure the podcast comes out every Tuesday. That created a bit of schedule for me, which is very interesting because as a school teacher for over 30 years, I was always responding to a bell, resist Bell, start Bell and Bell lunch bell. My goodness, I was like Pavlov's dog, I was always responded to Bell. And now that I'm an entrepreneur, I find that my schedule is very flexible and possibly too flexible, that I like to create a bit of a schedule, yours might be the opposite, you want to be stop being so regimented, and start being a little bit more fluid. These are something things to notice. I would like to also start writing my book, I have an idea in my head, I have all the chapters planned out, I would like to start writing my book. The final thing is, I live in Ontario, Canada, and right now is super cold out, really we're going through cold spell, and I am what you call a fair weather friend. I love going outdoors when the weather is beautiful and warm and sunny and fresh. But when it's super cold, not so much. So I would like to embrace the cold. I'd like to embrace the weather wherever it is, I don't want it to stop me from living if it's raining, or if it's cold. I would like to be more fluid and open to the weather. I know my sister Patricia loves the winter. And I just think wow, I wish I could love it. But I would start just being okay with the weather. Finally, the last question, what would you care more about? Hmm, that's a good one. So you stopped all the things you stopped and all the things you want to start? What would you care more about? Well, I care about family and friends. But I don't always see my family and friends. And you may find that you're working and so busy that you are not seeing your family and friends as much as you want. I know that I have many people around me that live very close, that they're so close, I think to myself, Oh, I can see them anytime by do I see them anytime? No, it really makes me wonder what I care about where I'm putting my time and energy. I have a brother named Arthur who lives out in BC, Vancouver, BC. And he took the train to come here to visit family. And he made it his objective to see each member of the family that was available on his trip. Well, he was very purposeful with his time with his energy. And he got to see everybody, he saw people that I haven't seen and I live very close to them. So I really want to make that conscious effort to see and and be with the people who I really care about. That includes my two adult sons. They're adults, they're busy, they have these young lives. But I feel as though I would like to make more time to really set aside to see how they're doing to spend time with them, instead of time slipping away. And finally, I would like to care more about all those in need around me. I give I feel like I give but I would like to actually donate and give of my time and energy to a cause. I do not have a one specific cause I know I guide clients and I guide students in yoga and meditation. But I feel like it's really really pivotal that we give back to society

that we give back to those around us and those who have less than us. So that is something I care about. And I would like to make more time for for sure. Well, when you think of these questions, what do you want to stop? What do you want to start? And what do you most care about? Then you can create a more intentional life, you can wake up each day and have a clearer idea of how you're going to want to live. I'd like to refer back to the book aging for beginners by Ezra beta, with Elizabeth Hamilton. In the book, it shares a really cool exercise to do. It talks about your timeline now you hate may have done this in the past and maybe at school even so long ago or your kids have, but it's really about noticing the timeline of your life. So in his book, he says draw a horizontal line along the page representing birth to death and Write the word birth on the far left side, and death on the right side. And then place a short vertical line where you imagine you are on this timeline. It gives a clear visual of where you are, where you've come from, and possibly how much time you have left. So you can think of maybe how old your parents lived or how old you think you would like to live and be generous here. Because I think our lifespan has increased over centuries. In any case, when you place this vertical line, and you notice, then you can be really thoughtful and intentional, how you want to live for the remainder of your days. Of course, you know, that could be a long time, especially if you're really young, but why not have direction I love that, quote, live for today, but plan for tomorrow. I met Alan who actually comes to my meditation classes, and I was telling him about this idea. He says what he does the same thing, and he shares it actually at work. He uses a measuring tape. So of course, the measuring tape is very incremental. And you can clearly see the lines, and he places himself on the measuring tape. And he feels that is even more powerful, because it gives you a clear numerical indication of where you've come from, and where you are going, and what you have left. I really found this very powerful. And, of course, I really love and get passionate about growing. I like to challenge myself and think outside of the box. When I'm uncomfortable. I know I'm growing. And that's why I've decided actually I'm going to go away to Sri Lanka, to an era Vedic retreat place in the jungle and on the Indian Ocean, which I'm really super excited for. Of course, it's a really big trip, it feels very adventurous, and for me a little bit scary. But I'm looking on my timeline, and I'm healthy, I'm happy. And I want to do that. It's like bucket lists. Maybe you have a bucket list that you want to incorporate into your life. There are very big things that we can incorporate into our lives. And then there are small things. But really being intentional with how you want to live, how you're going to embrace each day, and be purposeful for each day, is a really beautiful invitation to living your fullest life to really living in your highest vibration. And that energy permeates all the people and energy around you. It's very inspiring to be with somebody who knows their purpose and knows their passion and lives it it's very just touches my heart. It really gives me energy and gives me that drive in order to stop doing what I don't want to do, and start doing what really means so much to me. I hope this really resonates with you, I hope these questions give you a little time to think. And even if you can make one little shift in your life, maybe eliminating one thing that is really dragging you down to create space for something else that you really care about. That one little shift can be a real beautiful beginning a new, beautiful start. And you don't have to wait for your birthday, or the New Year or anything like that. Every day is a new beginning. Even every afternoon is the new beginning. Every new breath you take is a new beginning. And that's very empowering. After you finish this podcast, if you're exercising, driving, walking, or whatever you're doing, what's that one thing I'm going to stop so that I can start something that is really going to align me with my purpose and my passion to live in a place of love. If this talk inspires you maybe have this discussion with somebody who you really care about maybe who you're living with maybe who you're working with. This could be an organizational thing. What's one thing we're going to stop and what's one thing we're going to start because what do we most care about? And you can place that in your family unit around a dinner table around a meal with a friend when you go out for coffee. It would be a great stepping stone a great sharing piece to really connect with others. and connect and give you more precious ideas. If this resonates with you, please reach out to me. You can find my links in the show notes. Always wishing you such love and light. From my heart to yours. Namaste