Things You Need To Know To Be Great with Jonathan Dunn

Dr. Cliff Fisher: love and appreciate who you're hanging out with, and not feel like you're stuck with certain people or hold on to old relationships because you feel obligated, that aren't serving you anymore. I think that's one of the hardest things for a lot of people because they feel that loyalty. But truly, at the end of the day, you're giving up your life to make that person

Okay. All right tribe Welcome to awaken greatness with Dr. Cliff Fisher. And Jonathan Dunn, brought to you by Dream Leadership Institute, where we awaken your greatness and give you the tools to find and create your greatest self and raise the consciousness of the planet. So today, we're here to talk about what does that really mean? We'd started our conversation, and we're like, okay, what are the three things you need to be a great speaker? And then when John, Jonathan brought it up to me, I'm like, that's what you need to do to be great at anything. So I would love to dive into those. Jonathan. So what's your thoughts? What are the three things to be the greatest speaker in the world?

Well, you know, when you ask that question, this wasn't in the, in the, in the earlier clip, I was thinking back to a book I read many years ago called tribe by Sebastian Junger. And he was studying why so many military veterans were committing suicide. And of course, they say they've seen horrible things. But one of the bigger factors was they they missed being a part of a tribe. And he dove into something called self determination theory, which is kind of a shorter version of Maslow's hierarchy of needs to reach self actualization, what we call greatest version of yourself. But the first part of being an effective tribe is, is that people want to be really good at something. People want to be really good at something. Which makes me think about Malcolm Gladwell. And in the book, Outliers, Gladwell kind of mentions 10,000 hours to mastery, although he sends went back and said, it's not a rule. But investing 10,000 hours and being really great at something. And I often think to myself, like, how many people in the world we live in right now, are really great at life. And how many people just invest any sort of time, being really great at life, like, we all love Michael Jordan, and how great he was at basketball. And he became a transcendental figure, Tiger Woods, with golf, etc, etc. But we can do those same things, but apply them to life. And how many people in this world have such a rough experience of life. And how many people though, are really investing any time, like getting better at life, they go to the gym and spend an hour to get you know, better muscles and stronger. But how many people the most important thing of all life, are really investing the time in that. So to be a great speaker, the number one thing is, you know, we call it we call it stage time. So when when when I didn't mention that earlier, it was because someone else who they interviewed before me had said that that was really my number one answer, like, you want to be a great speaker, get on speaker stages, invest 10,000 hours doing it. That's how you become great and seamless. But how many people don't apply that same rule? To just life in general? I mean, you know, you've met my wife, and if anyone was to randomly survey her third party auditor, and said, what what is your husband work on the most? She would not even hesitate one second. He practices getting better at love every day. And for me, when you're talking about being great at life, I really firmly believe life is truly so stage time. Now, did you want me to vomit out all three answers? And did you want to like have a break to chime in there?

Dr. Cliff Fisher: Yeah, let's go one at a time on these. Yeah. And there might be four since the stage time wasn't mentioned. And so because I see that today, John D is all see people saying I want to be healthy, but they're also not doing the things to be healthy. So a lot of people say, oh, I want to be good at life or whatever they raise their hand for but they don't know what that means or they're not committed to it. And I think that's really what you're talking about that those 10,000 hours or that time commitment that being a priority, where I'm in the same boat like I married up, my wife has incredible discipline. Like she says she wants to do something and she'll do all the things with that. She doesn't waver from that. And so and I see Jennifer in that same space I see You in that same space. And so I really respect that. So I think for our audience, like, be really careful what you say you want. And then once you say you want that, then make sure you understand the commitment behind it.

commitment has got to be one of the most watered down words in the English language right now. And the other thing that people underestimate is the adversity they're going to face as well. Yeah, and once again, just get your stage time, put your 10,000 hours in, like lock in on being who you're meant to be as a human being. That's where that's the only place you're gonna find the answer to all of life's questions, too, by the way, people isn't going on that journey. I mean, think about this, you know, Dr. Cliff mentioned it on an earlier thing, like, you know, I don't remember the context, but it was, I don't want to meet the person someday that I could have could have been that that would be a true representation of hell for me. And I agree wholeheartedly, like, do you really want to get to the end of your life when it's too late. And you didn't become the person that you were meant to be? I mean, it's just fascinating. And I tell you, you know, here's a fun drill that everyone can do that's listening in, like, write out the six categories for you five or six, this is kind of an arbitrary number of like, what what it means for you to be truly successful in life, like, one's probably going to be physical health. You know, here at Dream leader Institute, we believe you're meant to become the greatest version of yourself, or whatever phrase, you know, floats your boat, so greatest version of self would be on there, you know, we're respectful of all faith backgrounds, but like God are living purposefully, that'd be part of it, like, Do you love your job would be part of it. You know, and like, goals and in money is like money's part of it, like it really is. And just pick, you know, pick your five or six categories that are important to you, when you're thinking about going on this journey, and then above that, write a one, a two, a three, a four, and write out the five people you spend the most time with, you know, everybody's heard the quote, you become the average of the five people you surround yourself with the most. And most people go, Oh, that sounds pretty good, et cetera, et cetera. But I really challenge you to do it. And then grade everyone in each of those categories, you know, just like the old school ABCDEF. And then after you've done that, put yourself underneath it, and grade yourself ABCDE, F and all of those categories. And what you'll find out is, I'd never have it turned out any other way. You are always the average of those people that you're around with. And by the way, we love these people, we care about these people. But if you really want to fulfill your potential and put in that stage time, the stage time needs to be spent with people who raise your average up. You know, and never be that person that lowers other people's averages down. So when you're talking about putting in time, you know, practice creates progress, but not if it's bad practice, it's got to be good practice. And the good practice involves the people that you're spending time with, because you will, you will need to literally look this up Google the law of averages. And it's not something anybody can outrun. So when you're putting in that stage time, also remember, your connections are part of that. And you've got to say, hey, let's all raise each other's average up, let's all encourage each other to reach our potential. And let's not let's not settle for less than that.

Dr. Cliff Fisher: Great point. Yeah, I think it's really important to find that space and you know, really love and appreciate who you're hanging out with. And not feel like you're stuck with certain people or hold on to old relationships because you feel obligated, that aren't serving you anymore. I think that's one of the hardest things for a lot of people because they feel that loyalty. But truly, at the end of the day, you're giving up your life to make that person Okay, so if you're okay with that, then maybe that's a different statement. But I know that's a DOI that's not where we're at. And that's not what we want to create. We want to create everybody's greatest version and supporting somebody not being their greatest version is not their best life either. That's

called codependency. Yeah. And sadly, in the world we live in there is far more codependency than actual real relationships. Far more code dependencies that allow you know on the the five choices roadway to five choices everyone can make every day. Number one is bad. Number two is mediocre. Number three is average number four is really great. And number five is world class elite greatest version of yourself. And there's far too many people that are stuck in the old 123. And that is full fledge codependency.

Dr. Cliff Fisher: So true. All right, so what's your second point to being the greatest speaker?

I mean, this this isn't, you know exactly what I said earlier. But you know, as we dive into it, if you want to be a great speaker, you have to really believe in what you're speaking about. And if you want to be great at life, conversely, it starts with your belief that you believe you are here to become the greatest version of yourself once again, or whatever phrase gets you excited. It all starts with that belief. And as you know, Dr. Cliff said earlier than the commitment. But you've got to really believe it, do you really believe that's why you're here. And you know, interestingly enough, and module two, where we first, you know, go through that topic. We have people read the page on greatest version. And as you know, it says, We believe you're here without a doubt, to become what we refer to as the greatest version of yourself. And then after people read it, we always ask them, and they think it's kind of silly. Do you see any downside to becoming the greatest version of yourself and Dr. Cliff, what does literally 100% of the people say? No downside, there's no downside. And yet, you know, less than 5% of the world is really putting in that stage time to go on that journey. Because if you really want to be the greatest version of yourself, it's, it's going to be 10,000 hours and more. But all I can tell you is this, it is so well worth it. And when you are surrounded around people who are on the same journey, it's pretty astonishing what you can create and accomplish in your lives while really, really caring for one another. So the second part of being a great speaker is believing in the message. Second part of being great at life is belief that you really are here to reach your potential as a human being. And as you're exploring that potential, you're gonna come across some pretty scary things as you look within. And that's okay. That's all right. It's perfectly

Dr. Cliff Fisher: that really hit home. John Dee on that, like looking inside, I think those have been my biggest challenges is fight facing those demons. And what came up for me out of those things, and how much I was limiting myself. And I was becoming like, the victim versus taking control and being like, Oh, why is God doing this for me versus to me, that was a big shift. And so when you find that space, of what you truly believe in to really fight for it, and so sometimes it's, you know, what am I fighting against, and also, what am I fighting for. And so truly finding that really believe in I think, is crucial. And

the first step, by the way on this, and this is what always amazes people, when they come to dream leader Institute, and it will even sound odd for anybody who listens to this, we will not tell you a single thing to do. But we're really good at pulling out what is within you. And if you're listening to this, and you believe in this idea of being your greatest self, just take out a sheet of paper. And write out the description of the greatest version of you. Take your time, don't rush up, and then put your pen down and read it or pencil. And just really ask yourself, Where did that answer come from? And why haven't I been listening to that longer? Because I guarantee you, you're going to know the answer way better than we ever would. We're going to just help you clear the roadblocks, so to speak that are hindering you from getting there. But that's literally phase one. We get people to just write it out. Tell us in the answer that people come up with. They're always better than what we could have imagined. And I always find it fascinating to they're always very, very unique as well.

Dr. Cliff Fisher: So true. And I think we always try I'd have fit success into this box that we have a perception of from the world versus like, how do we define success. And that's exactly what DLA does and dream Leadership Institute does for people is it helps you here, create your box and play within play in your box or outside of your box or wherever you want in your box. That's awesome. All right, what's the third one? The

third part, and I'm going to read a quote, it's on the cover of our module five, which is titled The gift of you. And it is some people will like me, and some people won't. So I might as well be myself. And then at least I'll know that the people who like me, like me, one more time, some people will like me, and some wall. So I might as well be myself. And then at least I'll know that the people who like me, like me, you prep. And that's the third tip. Now, when I had mentioned it to you earlier, I called it being uninhibited. But really, really want to mean it's just being you being fully you and not being worried, am I gonna say the right thing or do the wrong thing or am I going to act like a buffoon because all of that puts a governor on you that that holds you back from just being fully alive, versus being like that golden retriever with your head out the window, just experiencing life and being present, and just being who you are. And the fact of the matter is, some people aren't going to like you. And that's quite all right. It's their prerogative, but at least it wasn't forced. And the ones that do like you, they'll like you for you, and you'll be in peace, knowing something that few people in this world know that you were enough, all along. And that's when you go out and you're speaking on a stage he uninhibited. Just say it, you already believe in the message anyways. Because when you're like, you know, you act restricted, and you get all rigid people spot that stuff. And really, at the end of the day, when you when you go through the best memories of your life, very rarely have I ever seen someone write down it was when this person said specifically this to me, it always are, they're always memory surrounded around how people made you feel or how you made other people feel. And no one's going to be, you know, keeping track on what specifically you said, so be you. And that's how you make people feel really good.

Dr. Cliff Fisher: As you spoke that it really brings back the whole space of like, what are you passionate about? Because God puts you here, or Yeah, God puts you here, because that's who needed to be here at this time in this moment in our soul, pick that. And we can either choose to take a garland or we can choose to, you know, be less than what God made us to be. But the only person whose fault it is, is our own. And one of the things that I love about DOI and dream Leadership Institute in our program is it helps you find and discover who you were meant to be as defined by you. And we give you the tools to be able to expand that to have the discipline and have the tools to be able to live that out. Because that was honestly that's where I was searching. I was like, Okay, I have all these great things, and I have all this, these great spaces. But what I didn't have was I didn't know that certainty inside, my wife was helping me find it. And then John D helped me find that DOI. And so that's why I'm so passionate about this is because it really truly gave me the tools to be happy with where I am and very common just about every situation, no matter what happens. It's because I know that God's over this whole thing. And it's because of the internal certainty that I know that I could I would never be put in a situation that I couldn't handle. So

that is correct. You know, Soren Kierkegaard once said, The most common form of despair that exists in the world is not being who you are. And when you understand you know that sub 10% is really going after being that person that are created to be, you start to understand why there is so much despair, in sadness in the world. And people's bodies are screaming at them to go after your potential as a human being because what you'll find when you're reaching your potential as a human being, and you're kind of going through a gauntlet or getting squeezed, it will amaze you because you'll find yourself being one of those rare people in the world that the only thing that comes out of you is love in those moments. Because we came from love, we are love and we attract love and when you're getting squeezed, and only love is coming out the best possible thing in the world. You have really arrived as a human being and that is a very joyful moment. But you know, back to the quote as well be myself. I always tell people this and they think I'm a little crazy, but they come to see it's true. That there are very few people in the world who really know who they are So true. And here's how you can know that what we're saying isn't isn't crazy when you write out that description of the greatest version of yourself, and you're looking at the beauty of it, and you can kind of begin to imagine that if we could get the whole world gather for five minutes, and ask them that question, do you see any downside to being your greatest self? And they'd say, No, I don't see any downside to it, then you get them to write the definition. And you can see how it is in stark contrast to how people are really behaving as human beings out there. And it's just a reminder that in this world we live in right now. There are a lot of folks who are pretty lost. And the real reason why, you know, Dr. Cliff and I are so passionate, because we're helping a lot of people find out who they really are, I heard 15 years ago, the greatest gift you can give to the world, your family and your friends is you fully alive, which is just another code word for the greatest version of yourself.

Dr. Cliff Fisher: I love it. All right, I know, we talked about how to be the greatest speaker, but truly, like, very much parallels, like being the greatest version of yourself, and the greatest version of you. So those three things, you know, each one of those is, you know, get that stage time, live life, like you can't live life by watching TV or reading a book or any of those things. Then the next one is, you know, truly being passionate about your life is the next thing. And then the last one is being authentic. And really, you know, having that space where you believe in your message and who you are, and that you're worthy of that. So John D, any last thoughts on this one?

No, I do have a last thought, you know, think about who you love the most in the entire world. Now, I have a good list of people. And I love them all times. But my daughter holds a very special place in my heart. And we got together many years ago, she thought it was a little bit more of it at first. But after we did the drill together, she goes, Wow, that is an exact roadmap on how to live life. But what I want you to do, think about that person you love the absolute most, and that you die before them. And they are going to be standing in a room filled with people. And they're going to memorialize your whole entire life and probably about 60 to 90 minutes. And the big part of the memorial will be when that person you love more than anybody is going to read your eulogy. In fact, I've got mine sitting right over here, I didn't even know this was going to meet, going in this direction today. But I told everyone I read my eulogy every day, and kind of really, you know, pinpoint 10 or 15 characteristics you want them to be able to say about you, that are really, really, really, really true. And that's also a great definition of the greatest version of yourself. And then to quote, a great mentor of mine, the late Wayne Dyer behave as if it's already done. And, you know, regardless of what your feelings are telling you that day behave as if it's already done. And then, you know, I instruct my clients to write their eulogy. And once they see it's a great roadmap of life, to do the drill with everyone they know and start holding each other accountable to that. When I won't read my whole thing, it's a couple pages long but in a nutshell, I want to be remembered for being a loving individual, a kind individual, a peaceful individual, a graceful person patient, connected with everyone I'm talking to no found no distractions that I'm fully connected with that human being authentically who I really am a humble person, accepting of everyone. And then my favorite word again shy which means never treating people or talking to people in a manner that would make them feel small. And in my own path of behaving as if it's already done and you do this drill with everybody. No, no one ever writes down that they were rude that they were impatient that they were a jerk that they were on a hole that they spent all waking hours being on the television watching TV. that they met, they spent, you know, hours upon hours on social media, accumulating likes, and you know, watching silly things. And you, I want to close down with you writing your very own eulogy, and then commit to living up to that every day. And once the adversity strikes and the adversity is going to strike, at the end of the day, you can look at it and go, well, that adversity that hit me, it actually helped me be more patient, and actually helped me be more loving. I really got to discover I can be kind through the adversity. And you'll come to the realization, as tough as life gets, and it gets tough. But that life really is happening for you. And it's not happening to you. And you don't need to be the victim anymore. By being the person who behaves as if it's all ready done, and that person that you love, everything they're saying about you is true. And it's not in doubt. I always say, when I go into a business, if I could do just one drill, just one, that would be the drill, I do. Tell me what they're going to say about you when you're dead. And no matter how lost people are, you never see a group of answers that is anything less than beautiful, and exactly what this world needs right now. Because that is the greatest version of you, the dash mark in the middle, between your birthday and your expiration date. As

Dr. Cliff Fisher: you were going through that, the thing that came up for me is you have a chance to write that now you don't have a chance to write that at the end. So that's why it's so important to write that down. I have the same thing. I have it up on my bed. Waking up. That's how I start my day, how's my day going to start? How am I going to be in my day? And how am I going to be present for everybody that's relying on me both is their coach, their doctor, their husband, their wife, their dad. And that's the way I anchor in on who I want to be. So then the world doesn't push me as much as it used to.

And you know, people, like many people have said before us. This is not a dress rehearsal. Yeah, this is real. And this is happening. And you will get to the end and you'll have reached your potential. Or the other side of that is you're a person who dies with a lot of music left inside of you. And that's not the world we want to live on. Let that music out. It's what the world needs. Awesome.

Dr. Cliff Fisher: All right, Dr. We'll see you guys next week. I hope you guys enjoy this episode as much as we did. This was awesome. Thanks, John D for sharing your thoughts and how to be the greatest speaker which led to truly who the greatest version is who led to, you know, who do we want to be? What do we want people to say when we're all done when we're when our song has been sung? So thank you, John D. You guys have a great week. Go Awaken Your greatness.