Pamela Stambaugh

Welcome to Behind the Lectern. Since 2006. Your host, Jeff Klein has been working with speakers at all levels, from beginners to Toastmasters International Award winners from experts to national speaker Association Hall of Famers. In each episode, Jeff introduces you to some of these speakers as you learn about their speaker journey, how they got started, where they came from, where they're going, and more. Take the lessons they have learned on their way to help you with your own path to make speaking work for you. Let's get started.

Hello, everybody, Jeff Klein here. Welcome to another episode of Behind the lectern. Our guest today is Stambaugh bow, and we have Dr. Laura on are in our live studio audience, Dr. Laura Cobb. And yes, we are on clubhouse and zoom for our broadcasts. And we're sort of experimenting with that to see how that works. And we welcome questions when we asked for him in conversation. And we'll also and then of course, the Each episode will go up as our podcast gets released starting March 1, but right now I want to introduce our guests. Pamela Stambaugh to behind the lectern, which is Vice speakers for speakers, Pamela has practice as a behavioral change master for over 30 years. She's a seasoned adviser to C suite executives, and senior HR professionals. As president and founder of accountability pays, she delivers accountability coaching and leadership effectiveness training to elevate performance on what matters most for clients is included raise operating results, upgrading team performance, and creating a culture of trust and open authentic communication. Pamela has worked with global small, and mid size companies across many insure industries. Welcome, behavioral change, Master Pamela Stambaugh.

Thank you. Appreciate being here. And thank you for that wonderful introduction that I wrote.

You're welcome here. And behind the lectern, what we really want to know is how speaking fits into your business? How have you been using speaking? And well first, how have you been using? And then we'll ask about when how when you started, and how that happened?

Sure. So how I use it right now is I'm on a lot of zoom calls, right? I'm on I'm creating content and delivering content, on Zoom, I have a weekly five minute leadership tip plus an action multiplier that will start gonna go for 52 weeks of that and then generate some conversations around those leadership tips that's in on the way to writing the book, growing leaders inside growing companies. And well on my way there. So I do use speaking mostly, though, I'm not live right, mostly. And so I did have occasion to be a moderator of a panel. And we grew at two people actually put an event together at the University Club, and moderated that event. And that was a lot of fun. It reminded me how much fun I have what I actually do get this.

When did you start speaking?

Oh my gosh, well, let's see in the mid 80s.

Was that part of your corporate career?

It was Well, yes and no, actually in the mid 80s. I had completed my MBA. And it was not the best of times, if you'll recall, and I was an entrepreneur, however, I was working with the Blanchard companies, Ken Blanchard companies. And so I ended up coaching and training their licensees around the world. And I ended up on the platform with Ken Blanchard, once in Greece went for a public event. Once in Atlanta for the heads of the manufacturing enterprises around the world for SKF, the ball bearing company and I had done some research and presented that research. So I got out pretty good boost right there. I was really early in my what I would call my speaking career. I was also a member of the National Speakers Association and had a lot of professional still have some professional speakers who are clients on the coaching side. So I was able to present at the National Speakers Association conference one year dice. Alright, so that was fun. And then I realized, gosh, I don't have to be. So Jim Cathcart was a client of mine. And he was a president. To have the National Speakers Association, as was Tony Alessandra. And I've already mentioned Ken Blanchard for those who are clients. And so I really got an opportunity to be showcased in kind of a fun way.

Yeah, that's sort of NSA by osmosis. Right?

That is, so did I was really, really fun to look back on those days. And what I realized, Jeff, is that those people could be my friends and clients. And at the time, Jim was moving toward the eight proficiencies, or the eight competencies for professional speaking. And I didn't feel like I wanted to move in that direction. That really my skill set is more on the facilitator side than on the big audience speaking side that I like, audiences. I'm good with smaller audiences. Dr. Laura, did you want to ask a question? You want it to come in here? No. All right. I just want to give you an opportunity, if you did,

I'm fascinated by your story. I'm loving this. So I'm willing to listen. And then when the questions come up, I'm more than happy to ask later if that's okay.

Right. So from there, obviously, I've been an entrepreneur for many, many years, and I have been speaking, training, facilitating coaching all those things, and they're very distinct skills. And And over time, I've acquired them all. And know the difference, right? So sometimes, coach, that's directive, and sometimes it's more on the listening side, I just went through by the way to divert for a minute, I just went through the training for the international coaching Federation, because I have a partner who a strategic partner, they want to bring me in to the federal and state organizations, and you can't go there without the ICF certification. Right. So and there are so many people getting certified for ICF, that it has been months and months. And I haven't heard back. I've done everything except that last three hours. So they have to just oh my gosh, right. So it's I'm waiting for my certification opportunity to close out.

And that's to work for the federal government. They required the ICF require

If you're going to do coaching, or if you're going to do anything. Yeah. Certification, they're going to do that. Right. Yeah.

Got it. Is it any coaching certification? Are they specifically tied to ICF?

Well, I think it's ICF. They're the they're the big.

Yeah, I'm asking out because I don't know, that's just, I'm a big fan of NSA, I wouldn't be a speaker today if NSA had not, if I hadn't been a US a vendor member of NSA for a year way back in 2004. But, you know, I know that the chapter they're out in San Diego is one of the top chapters, along with our North Texas chapter at least once upon a time,

once upon a time, and I was the president of that chapter at one time as well. Right. So been involved for a really long time myself, I have that little walnut plaque, but I don't think it's an active chapter. I think there are people here who are active, right, Greg go deck is here, and people who are active are here at the national level, but it's you know, I don't know if it was a COVID thing, or if it was pre COVID. They do gather sometimes. Yeah. But people in, you know.

I know here. Yeah, I know. Here's the North Texas chapter still meets once a month, and then they have some other activities. Well let Dr. Laura Cobb contribute to the conversation here.

No, I'm profiting by this because I think it's necessary for people to understand the difference between counseling and coaching and therapy and psychiatry and psychology. Because I often get so many questions about what that means and how it's different. And I'm very clear about my intentions being on clubhouse, for example, I'm a coach. Sure. I'm not your coach. I'm not your counselor. And I'm a doctor. Absolutely, but I'm not your doctor. So anytime that information, even when I hear given to somebody else, I kind of cringe a little bit because it was the shoulds and oughts tos and you got to choose and the must haves and why don't you all be thinking? I don't feel comfortable with that. My job is a coach essentially I sense that I'm like, Glenda the Goodwitch Okay, are you at my job is to tell you that you already have the information you just tend to tap into it. My job is to help you do that.

And what do you think Pamela?

Yeah.

Well, I agree. I didn't know. Right? So when it when you're talking about the role of speaking what it did was it got me that comfort level two go in front of a lot of people and have what I have to say. But when you talk about a comfort level and where do I naturally fit. I fit more like a listener than somebody who's got a lot of information to impart, and I think Dr. Laura, you're kind of a lone bear with me in that, right? You're, you're the listener, you're the as a coach, you're the listener, you're the one that says, find your gold, and ask you good questions, but I'm not going to give you all the answers. Yeah, that's the distinction of being a professional speaker is a much different world. And I have lived there, and I've had some pretty stunning experiences there. And I would prefer to be more small group and one on one, and I'll never give up the speaking because that opens the door to so many other important conversations. Right?

Yes, absolutely. And the builder, correct. Yeah, absolutely. And because I came into the speaking world, attending NSA meetings, but also being involved with what we call, you know, speak, to get paid now, and what we use what we also call business speaking, as opposed to public speaking, making a differentiation between the profession of speaking, which NSA is the association that forwards that profession and has a certification for that profession, and offers training, etc, to business speaking, which is, to me in our definition, it's a group of people whose job title will never change to speaker. But it still might be the second or third thing on their business card. So coach, speaker, author, accountant, speaker, that kind of thing.

Right. So I've written two books and full books, but co authored. And so now I'm launching into author of my own book. And I'm coming out tomorrow as a contributor to voices of the 21st century, which is a women's Speakers Association. And so the E marketing platform, the E speaker platform is tied to the women's Speakers Association. And that's a really cool relationship right there that women's Speakers Association. So they're obviously likewise, connecting in through zoom. Right?

Yeah, sure. And I'm all about joint ventures where things are going so well, these days. And again, our live studio audience includes Dr. Laura Cobb, and she had another question or comment either one as well.

Oh, I got a ton of on. Hey, Beverly, how you doing, folks? You guys? This is so fabulous. So I'm curious. You mentioned that you've never give up the speaking. How has the speaking remain steadfast and constant as opposed to your other endeavors? And what fulfillment hasn't given you as a result?

Well, the speaking has been steadfast just because I get out there and I make myself available. Right? I do it, I just say yes. And then I provide the value that I provide or that whatever is appropriate to that relationship. Then you add another part to that question, Laura, what were you asking is like, how do you stay relevant? Or what are you saying?

How has that been relevant that how has that been beneficial for you as a result? Right, keeping that as your mainstay?

Well, I wouldn't say it's a mainstay in the sense that I don't rely on it for a revenue stream. Right? My that's not when I say mainstay, I think, how do I make my money and I make a living by facilitating an emerging leader accelerator, and that is facilitation, and by facilitating team growth, and that is facilitation. And by being an executive coach, right, inside of senior executive suites, so that's the mainstay of my revenue, how I build my clientele is by staying out there and staying relevant, and providing the value that you have to provide today in order to keep your credibility alive.

I love that word relevance. How does it how do you make sense of that word, relevant? I mean, considering the context, is it subjective, and it's contextual? So how do you determine what's relevant and what's not?

Everything is subjective and contextual. And that's where I speak is from what is the context because the context is decisive. And so I'm really saying, well, I'll give you an example. We today are polarizing. Somebody has got this opinion, that's an extreme and then you've got this opinion, that's an extreme and I'm sorry, but extremes, extreme positions, destroy trust, we need the both and, and that's relevance. Okay. We need both. And we need everybody at the table saying everything that needs to be said, and then some analytical thinking to go on there. Right. So I can speak to audiences about that. And I'm doing zoom webcasts in that regard. I'm bringing those kinds of thought patterns forward and saying This whole either or phenomenon that we're experiencing today is destroying the essential ingredient. And why where are our values? So when I do an emerging leader accelerator, I'm speaking to the values, right? I'm speaking to the relevance of values. I'm talking about integrity, if you go to my blogs, talking about, you know, who are you as a leader that your people would grow into their best self? Okay, that's relevance.

Well, I think we can also create our own relevance within the niche market we want to be in.

Yeah, exactly. And I'm leader, right? That's who I work with are the leaders, the people who are influencing other people or not, right? They're either being a good influence, or they're being a negative influence. And it's so important today, everything we're talking about is so important today. Hello, Doug. Nice to

Welcome. Douglas to our studio audience. Letters. If you have a question, Doug, after you, when you get to listen, you're welcome to chime in and ask your caller raise your hand and let us know you have a question or comment. So we spend a lot of time talking about relevance and how coaching fits in and how speaking helps promote coaching, which that's sort of the whole mission of speaker Coop is to help people do that very thing use speaking to promote what they do to the right people who they want to be heard by, what are some of your you have some success stories that go with a specific talk that led to a specific engagement or type of client or something like that.

So, I have a partner who did an introduction of a program that I delivered, which was that it was that whole dichotomy of the pull between those two things. And when we completed our work together, she said, You have to put this date on your calendar, because I want you to go to hr.com and bring this message. And I said, Well, there's more juice, iced more juice, I'm bringing allergies in, bring it, bring it on. And so we brought that presentation, and it was one of about six that she was responsible for providing to hr.com She had a long history of relationship to hr.com, which is a very big platform. Oh, yeah. So I delivered that. And then they keep track of what are the results we had over 50% of the audience not want to leave at the end? That's a big deal. Right? And then when they said was their value, it was like over 60% said, Yes, I got unique value here. So that's what's going on.

That's great. What a great success story. Well, and is that hr.com insurance? Is that surance? Website?

No, I think hr.com has its own.

Okay.

Let me go back and ask you a quick question. Yes, it's gotta feel so validating, that seems like that people are making they're connected. I mean, this isn't the time of the pandemic. Apparently amazing. Ben just didn't didn't How to know that you possibly empowered others to not feel so alone, to feel connected? I mean, that's the whole gist of it is that's a reason why we're here. And we're hardwired for that. So my question for you is, how do you make that connection between talking one on one or in a small group, as opposed to talking at a conference or a summit, or speaking to a large team or possibly an organization or a company?

I just look one on one, right? I mean, any conversation, this is my early training as a speaker was talk as if you've got one person and then one person than one person, look, look one person in the eye and then look another person in the eye and then look at another person, right, connect, make that connection, you can do that on Zoom. Yeah, you can do that on Zoom, you can have that conversational experience with someone we are right now. Look at us.

I wonder how many people prefer to look at the camera as opposed to looking at the screen? Because I'm looking at your face right now.Does it look like it's uncomfortable for me now to look at you? I don't see I don't even look at the screen anymore. It's uncomfortable to live there. Because I want the wall that I'm looking in. You're like, does it look like I'm looking at you because you're right there. Now you're right.

As a virtual speaker, you got to learn to look back to reflect back to the the white light at the top of the screen where your virtual trip? No, that's a tip. If you want to do the I want to look you in the eyes moment. What you have to do is look in little white light, and then you're looking everybody in the eye. It's hard to do because I don't really want to do this and picture in

I gotta go back and forth.

I go back and forth just because it's so weird talking to the white light. I don't really go back and forth and then that actually looks like I'm scanning the audience you know instead of talking to one person or

I want you to miss me You're not even listening. I'm not even looking. Now, again, I love you, I want to see you.

Well, that's, you know, that's something else that is we haven't really something we didn't touch on today. But I see so many people relying on slides when they do virtual talks. And I try really work with my clients that I'm working with, to make their talks better. I really work with them to switch the slides off during their call, especially if they need slides at all, because a lot of people use slides as a crutch. Well, let me ask our guests opinion panel, where are you in relation to slides for content?

Oh, geez, I love to be dependent on slides. And I'm not right. I mean, the truth be told, they're really a good friend, when you're trying to look in the yellow in the little light and you're trying to do to manage everything, they're a good friend, and they're not really a good friend, right? They are sort of a pretense that it is like that, you know, that extra drink at night.

So there you go. Well, my premise, and it used to be very different before we were talking about virtual, but in the virtual world, my premises if you've got some data you need to convey or a funny picture that helps you tell a story. That's great. Show the data show the funny picture. But for heaven's sake, turn it off. So we can see your face this big instead of this big next to the slide.

I agree. And I say I say could you take down that slide so I could see, you? Know, I think it would be good.

I tried to ask that during a meeting planners meeting one of the meeting planner organizations I was on. And because what happens in person at their meeting, is they have a screen next to the stage. And on the screen next to the stage is the name of the person who's speaking, you know, and their job title and maybe their headshot, while that person is speaking on the stage. What they did during the virtual meeting was they kept that slide up. So there's a slide for 30 minutes of the speaker, and the speaker again, their heads one inch tall, and I messaged the guy, I was like, Please switch the slide off. We don't need this, we need her face, not the slide. And his reply was well, that's just how that's how we do it at our meeting. And I message to somebody I knew on the board after the meeting, just to see if I could help make their meetings better.

There's a good plan for you.

Yeah, that's always a good reason to keep doing something, because that's how we've always done it. Right?

And no, it doesn't fit common sense. And it doesn't really work.

Right, of course. What are some things to talk to where you are now? And what are some of your, some plans for your speaking?

Thank you, Jeff, my plans for my speaking would be tied into the leadership tips that I'm generating, right. So more, it's more bite sized now, because that's the appetite people have it's just give me a little nibble of something and then let me know as as long as it let me marinate on. Right? Let me marinate on that. Let me take an action actually, I calling it the weekly five minute leadership tip plus action multiplier. And in that context, Jeff, what I'm going to be doing is really speaking not with slides, not with slides, right? Just just having a dialogue with whoever's right there. But I'll be all pre recording that. So I'm actually talking to myself in the little white light. And I can do that because I have practice, right. So it's not so hard to actually create momentum. And, and the same gal who invited me on to hr.com, I had done something similar only it was a longer format. And I put it out there to the people I trust to give me feedback, because that's how you learn. And she said, Well, what's enrolling is you, right? I mean, even your little mistakes are cute. They're just so appropriate that it just makes me want to like you so much more. And I thought well, that's wonderful, right? That feels good. She just is enrolled in who I am. And that's what I'm teaching leaders in the accelerator is be Who do you be? Who are you being that's why context is so important, right, Laura? Right, because that's the thing that's decisive is what you, you know, you walk into a room where there's tension. Nobody needs to say, hey, we're not in agreement here.

Right, right.

We don't have to point it out. When you walk in the room, that's context, right? And it's and it's communicating all the time. Right It's those blind spots, for example, we don't know they're there. Right? Right. So the authenticity comes when you can actually say, you know, this, this is really uncomfortable for me to give you this feedback, but I have to do it because it's part of my job, and I wouldn't be being responsible. If I didn't share with you. Right? authentically, you just really bring out the thing that's in your way. And poof, it kind of like disappears. Now it's not in the way anymore, because it's been said,

Absolutely, Laura.

That is such a huge issue panel, I love your experiences, and amazing can't remain like an imprint for like, I wish I would have known you earlier before by then. So I feel right now, the thing about that, when you said is it's so relevant for me is that there are things that are not to be said. And people are afraid to say them, myself included. I want to hurt anyone's feelings, you know. So that's the thing about it. I can't make anyone think feel say or do anything. It's up to them how they take it, they can be triggered, like I can be triggered for sure. And you don't even know what you said, you just shut up. And that was authentic. And I took it somebody said that's my problem. What you said that really resonates with me and Jeff, I'll finish with this is that when we come up showing up when we show up, when we suit up and we show up so that we can stand up and speak up is authentic and real and valid. There's a fine line between it's not what you say it's how you say it. And I think some people just don't have the filter. But they just see there's a division radical honesty and brutal honesty. For me, personally, I'm very sensitive. So it's depends on the person and how it's taken in the context, to be cautious, and so on with exactly what you said, those comments are needed. And they're necessary for us to look out for each other as women and men that we look out for each other to improve each other context is everything who says it? Has it said, have you seen in front of the whole table when you're taking the restaurant when Sally Jones what employees and an exclusive. She's in the next booth and you said something about me, but I can do to improve? But she's bullying me. So there's so rather than So, thank you so much.

You're welcome. So actually, let me let you Pamela, if you have some final words, because we could talk about some of this stuff all day. But what are some of your final thoughts, and then I'll wrap us up.

I think, you know, in the context of the conversation that we've been having, what's the difference between speaking, which is a larger audience, you're directly communicating outbound, you've got something of value that you hope they want. Feedback will tell you whether you did or didn't deliver value. And then there's facilitation, which is standing back and listening for the value and then pulling it out of people as needed and required. And and then there's coaching, which is listening for value and helping that person see it for themselves. Right. And then there's the team building, I do some of that as well, which is taking information and context and helping them communicate with one another. And every one of those things is a complement to the others we do know it doesn't get I won't grow in my capacity to make a difference. Unless I am able and willing to stand in front of an audience and say something that has value. And I will tell you, I have been an introvert. Right? And so always I've had to get over myself and just go do it anyway, right that the early days of getting someplace early, laying on the floor, putting my feet up doing the breathing exercise is just to get used to the size of the room, right? I mean, and then pretty soon that becomes natural. And people think, Oh, you're an extrovert. No, I'm not practice introvert. I just didn't stop. Right. So much of it is just not stopping. So much of success in the world is just not stopping, looking more deeply look, looking more. So I'm in the world of growing leaders inside growing companies. And that's a really important role. And I don't take it lightly that I have an impact on how people see other people and how they interact with other people. Do know and and I'll do that from a big stage, I'll do it one on one, I'm going to be there as a stand and my purpose in the world. The context from which I come is that leaders lead with integrity with love, and listen for people's greatness. And if you read my blog, you'll find out that that's actually paradoxical. And I talk a lot about paradoxes. How do you lead with integrity and hold people accountable and love them and listen for their greatness. You have to do both, and that's the tug of it. So where you look for the tension that keeps people alive? It's not hiding from those things. It's addressing them In a way that you get more fully communicating, and others get more fully communicating, because the whole thing is being said, instead of trying to be looked good, right, and I look, I look good. I'm looking good. Fan, right. But it's a game for me. I you know, it just happens to be the thing I've got time to do. Right. So, yeah, I love color I love you can see I love color.

Yeah.

So that's an expression for me that color is an expression for me. And that's where you just have to keep finding a way to freshen yourself to come freshly, and newly at the same old things and see them from a different angle, or whatever. Right?

Yeah. How about tell us how to get access to your blog and to your upcoming live videos?

Well, thank you. So accountabilitypays.com is my website, I saw that you put it in there. And so I was able to get that in there. And that is where you will see it when it's live. When it's happening. That's a pretty new website. It's got who I am, you know, there's I do, too, I do in the corporate or the business world, of where I put my value, its CEO tools, which is, you know, a process for communicate, execute and optimize. And that's for growing businesses. So everything I'm doing is contributing, either to the senior leadership, or the next level of leadership. Thank you, Laura. She said, nice website thing.

Is the blog, the the short videos that are going to be there as well.

Yes, they will. Okay. Well, I'm probably, I'm gonna say two weeks away from putting those into a sequence, right? It'll be a weekly sequence. It'll be it'll be 52 of them. And there will be opportunities for discussions and it'll it'll grow into a community of people who want to grow themselves.

Nice. Yeah. Very nice. Thanks for being here. And the live studio audience is a wonderful thing that we're having lots of fun with here Behind the Lectern. Thank you so much, Pamela Stambaugh for being our featured guest today and Dr. Laura Cobb and Doug Pilzer. Thanks for your comments and your great questions. And this is Jeff Klein. Signing off. Until next time.

Thank you very much. Great to be with you.