Katja Lany Shares How Success is not happening here - in your head! | DFS 303

Good. Welcome to destined for success. I'm

your host Jennifer Takagi and today is PATA Palooza Day. I

love this day and I love all the people I get to meet, that I

wouldn't necessarily run across with, and you get the benefit of

the messages. Our next guest is Katya Lainey. And she has to us

via Germany from Colorado. Katya, tell us a little bit

about yourself and how you show up in the world?

Well, first of all, Jennifer, I'm so happy to be

here with you and the listeners today. So thank you for your

warm welcome and destined for success. Yeah, that's definitely

a title that sparked my interest. And from my

perspective, I would say, success is not happening here.

Because I have found on my own healing journey, that it's the

figuring out mode, the mentor, figuring out man, that kept me

so stuck. And I am so so grateful for the mentors I've

worked with for facilitating to me that shift from the mind into

the body into my heart and warm because that's really where the

magic lies. And now that I am talking to people that work with

me, I am speaking of the shift from mentor figuring out mode to

tracking mode. And it really is all about staying with that

tracking what's going on in my body and really being very

curious, whatever comes up, as I'm tuning within and right

there, it's really crucial to have somebody who holds you

accountable to not give up too soon. Because, as I have noticed

myself, when when when I did it for the first time, there wasn't

really a thing coming up, there was just a big numbness. But

then when I had that stick with it knits. What eventually

happened for me was that I had this felt sense of the first

emotion. And when I stick with it longer, I could tune in to

that emotion whenever I wanted it. And then that one emotion

was joined by many emotions by all emotions. And then after

even more time, I eventually got to that place where I could not

only have that felt sense of my own emotions, but also I could

feel other people's emotions in my body, even before they could

feel it. And there's so

I love this a lot, because I often talk about

how you have to be still. And like hearing God, you have to be

still to hear your inner voice, you have to be still. So I'm

loving this whole train of thought. But when you say, I

can't remember how you put it now, I sat with it. And then I

had this emotion. What did that mean? Like? Are you just being

still are you meditating? Are you working with somebody and

they're guiding you like, what what does that mean?

What I mean was that is just having that intention to

notice whatever is coming up when I'm attuning within. And

that is in such big contrast to what I used to do this mentally

figuring out and shifting that to tracking in your body in your

viscera, what's, what's there and just sticking with it. And

keep asking that question. What does my body want to communicate

to me? And

so when you do this, and you're asking those

those really great questions. Are you sitting still? Is this

something you do just walking down the street? Is it just like

second nature for you now? That's what I'm hoping to

embrace and figure it out for myself. Yeah.

I would call that meditation. Okay, for me, that

means Yeah. sitting, sitting still, and having that intention

to find out what the body wants to have me no.

I love that. And again, we often don't sit

still, we often are in a constant state of movement,

whether we're physically moved me moving or mentally moving, we

just are constantly go go. And I, I've had some knee issues

lately. And I was very disappointed because I had been

working out my knees had been better than they had been. And

then like, the gig was up, it was like done. And somebody

goes, well, how much have you been traveling? It I was like,

well, that shouldn't matter. And, like, in November alone, I

went on four different turnips. And so like, when you're gone

that much, and you're not taking care of your body, then it not

tuning in, it's gonna scream back. And one way or the other

is gonna stand up and yell, yeah, yeah,

that's a minor thing that I wanted to comment to.

When people are in their head space, it's just so noisy there

is this mental chatter going on that is just so loud. And that's

overriding that voice of intuition that I want people to

gain access to end. I would describe it in in a way that I

was in this second guessing stage that is, so no matter when

I'm coming from that mind space, right? I try to make a decision

I try to figure out and next step, and I immediately second

guess what my mind is coming up with. And that's so frustrating,

and it just drives people crazy. It should drive me crazy. But

when I can drop from there into my body, and listen to that

intuitive knowing that is always there, but sometimes not really

accessible to you to the mental noise, then I am really guided

to what is the best next step for me, what is the best

decision and this second guessing isn't even an issue?

I love that there's a meditation I was

guided to a number of years ago. And one of the things he says

is, just throughout the day, ask yourself, what is the next best

step I can take? And like that curiosity and asking. So when

you I get caught up on time sometimes. And some people do

meditations in there for a very long period of time, like, a

long time. And then there are other people that do short

meditations. And so is there a shortcut? Or does it have to

take a long time? Or is it just being so incredibly present in

that moment that you feel it and no, it? Is it just practice? I

don't know if I'm asking the question, right. But maybe you

get locked out ski. Yeah.

It's it's certainly true with meditation as it is

with so many things that practice makes you better at

what you're trying to get at. Yeah. So of course, when you

just died out meditating that way, then it might take a little

bit longer, but you can surely get to a point place with just a

few breaths out already enough to hear that intuitive wisdom

that we are aiming for. And I often say, when somebody is in a

state of freak out, it's totally possible to calm down with just

a handful of breast. And the difference is that in our

everyday life, we are used to breathing unconsciously. But

it's important to shift that unconscious breathing, to

breathing with intention to breathe consciously. And that's

that's where the magic lies.

It is so important because we ended up

holding our breath. Years ago, I was trying to quit smoking. And

in one of the books that I was reading on, you know, God has to

quit. I've since quit, I quit in March of 2007, I think it was.

But one of the things was when you smoke, you take a drag off a

cigarette, and then you like suck it in a little deeper and

before you exhale. And so one of the problems is you quit

smoking, and you don't know how to take in a good deep breath.

And hold it for a second without the cigarette like because you

think that's the only way to do it. But we can obviously do it

with that. Do you have some tips on breathing? Because breathing?

I'm obviously the breath of life. If you don't breathe,

you're dead. Right? So their options? Choice. So do you have

any suggestions on breathing and breathing mindfully? I guess?

Yeah,

it's so funny. You should think that breathing is

something that is easy, right? But it happens so often that we

unlearn the natural way to breathe. So my tip would be just

watch little baby, they are experts at breathing the right

way. And when you when you are together with a little one, you

can see how they're so in their lower belly, and you can watch

them have their belly rise on the inhale, and then fall on the

exhale again. And when people are very stressed and not

breathing in their lower belly, they're breathing way up higher

in their body. And it can look like this.

I love that. So people who are on the the audio

version of this that she inhaled her, her shoulders rose up to

her ears, it was like up and down, up and down, up and down

with the shoulders. And I resonate with this. I've been in

physical therapy and it's for my knee. But I was there when I was

like, Hey, can you help me with this shoulder? It's just really

tight. I don't know what I did. But all of a sudden, I don't

have the mobility in this shoulder. As she said yes. And

she's kind of moving my shoulder around. And she found like a

sore spot. And I was like, there she is you need to bring

Jennifer, I can't stretch this out. If you didn't bring it. I

was like maybe you should quit that. And then I'll try to

breathe. But it's really hard when you're when something

hurts. We naturally hold our breath and tense up right when

what we should do is take a really deep breath and what do

they say breathe through it.

Yeah, yeah. And those stressful experiences that

we have been going through in our lifetime they are held in

the body. So the wrong thing to do is really what I used to

think was the right thing is to put more information into my

mind. I was always thinking, Oh, I just need to take that one

more course. I just need to read that one more book, but it's not

about adding more information to the head. It's about subs

tracting the stresses the trauma out of the body. And that is a

big insight that it's not about adding more information. It's

about pulling out the trauma from your nervous system from

your physicality.

And so is that what you do when you work with

clients? Do you help release that you remove that? Tell us a

little bit about that? Yeah,

I am working as a would be energy healer. And I

have found that not all the people are familiar with that

term, it's just a French way of saying, joy of life. And that

makes so much sense. Because when somebody is in this pattern

of wanting to figure things out mentally, and self sabotaging

them, that sucks the joy of live right out of you. And it really

is important to shift that pattern that default, to a place

where I am more curious about what's going on inside of my

body and being with whatever is coming to the surface there. And

then feeling everything that's bubbling up fully and

completely. And I have become such a big advocate of feeling

all the fears, because that's really what they want, they want

to be felt completely. And when somebody is describing this

challenge with being stuck or trapped, somehow, that is what

that is all about. It's feelings that are trapped in in the body,

and they want to be felt fully and completely. And there's

really no way around that. And if somebody says, I'm just too

scared to commit to that, and it's basically only a

postponing, but as I said, There's no way around it, if you

want to get unstuck, then this is what it is really about to

really have that felt sense of any and all emotions, whether

that is fear, or sadness, or anger really go into that felt

sense of the emotion. And once they are felt completely, that's

when they are really integrated. And you can have that

breakthrough that you are so yearning for.

Oh my gosh, I love this and the work I do.

Because I do energy healing work also. And through the work and

the in the studies, they're showing that a trapped emotion

such as fear, or terror, or abandonment is roughly the size

of a fist. And so if you've got multiple trapped emotions, which

we most do, because it's live, right? If you have all these

trapped emotions and size of a fist throughout your system,

then oxygen isn't gonna flow well, blood isn't gonna flow

well. Toxins aren't going to flow out well. And that's when

you end up.

Really talk those fists out of your body, you

really need to fear the emotion and it is certainly doable, I

have done it. So anybody can do it.

Right? Right, that we you know, we don't even

we're not even aware, right? We're not aware. So that goes

back to as we're getting closer our time. That goes back to the

idea of meditating or being quiet, however, that looks for

you. So that you can be quiet and start noticing what's going

on in your body. And then breathing so that you can get

the right oxygen and breathe, breathe like a baby, get those

belly breaths. I had a coach Cheryl and she would always say,

I want to see a belly breath. I want your belly to rise and then

fall. So that's that baby breath there. And then that last part

is really just feeling the feelings as they come up. So if

someone wants to work with you, what does that look like? And I

think you have a free gift for our audience. So what do you got

for us? Gotcha.

I do have a a free gift. And it's a PDF called

three tips for safety and security. Because I have noticed

that without the sense of safety, you can't even begin

doing shadow work like this, you need to have that sense of

safety first. So that's why I'm offering that as a free gift to

people to to get those those tips, and it is through the body

through the breathing, that the sense of safety is created best.

Oh my gosh, I love that. So those of you who

are on your phone listening to this podcast episode, it'll be

in the show notes. So you just have to scroll down a little bit

and click the show notes. Grab the link and get this PDF three

tips for safety and security. That is awesome. So let's do

that. Is that the best way to get in contact with you? Or do

you have a website or someplace else that you would like them to

connect with you?

I usually connect with people via email and that's

very easy. It's my name katia.learned@gmail.com Or I can

also be very easily found on Facebook so people can reach out

to me there via Facebook Messenger. All right,

and that's Katya KT, ja, Lani, LA and why

is it Laney aslani@gmail.com or on Facebook. Gotcha. This has

been so great. We were trying for the last couple hours to

make sure we were going to be able to connect and I'm so happy

that we did. Thank you for your insights.

Thank you Sandra. Thank you. Oh

I'm Jennifer Takagi with destined for

success. I look forward to connecting with you soon.