Choose YOU with Sara Stepa | Ep.42

I believe in divine timing. I believe that the right people information, wisdom, guidance, heck things arrive when we're ready for them. I believe that owning our own truth unconditionally is the path to not only creative fulfillment, but more about success and abundance. This is not only a podcast to help you get strategic and mastered a position of success. It's a declaration to share the truth. It's a commitment to keep going to make it happen no matter what. It's an activation and invitation for me for you and for us to play a bigger game. So my question for you is this. Do you really want it? Do you really want to make your dreams come true? Do you really want to become a six figure coach? Welcome to the diaries of a six figure coach podcast. I am your host, Theresa Lambert. And I dare you to get ready to show up, boss up and make it happen.

Hello, Hello. And welcome back to another episode of diaries of a six figure coach Podcast. I'm super excited because I am here with a special guest today, Sarah stepper. She is an incredible human being a beautiful, beautiful coach in the online space. And I was introduced to this brilliant soul through Jen Anderson who joined me a couple of weeks ago. And we always have these incredible riffs. And so Sarah and I had an opportunity to connect. And one thing led to the next and I said, Hey, to Jen, she mentioned Sara is looking to maybe be on podcasts, and I said, tell her to reach out to me and Sara reached out to me. And sure enough, we had a conversation. And here she is. And it just shows you the power of collaboration, the power of communication, the power of being open to possibilities and putting things out there and taking aligned action. And it leads to something beautiful, which is Sara being here on this podcast. I have only ever spoken with Sarah so much. So I'm super excited to see where this conversation goes today. But she's very much on her journey to build a beautiful, beautiful six figure coaching business. She's just brilliant work in the world. And I'm so thrilled to have you and to share with us what it is that you do, how you got here, why you're doing what you're doing. And maybe also talk a little bit about your book, which is called choosing fulfillment is scary as fuck. Yeah, it is. So welcome to this space there.

Thank you, Theresa, I'm really excited to be here. And I loved how you made the connection with Jen and yourself and me. Because it's, you never know when people are going to come into your life or how. And sometimes it's just the power of suggestion from one to another for her to you or you to me or she to me, that creates these links and these opportunities to share our story and to share our aspirations and dreams and all the beautiful things that we do in this world. So thanks for having a podcast and thanks for having me on it.

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, totally. You know, I think that I mean, for me, as a business strategist and a mentor people always ask, right, how do you get on podcasts? How do you get speaking engagements, I get asked a lot of how questions and I think they're completely irrelevant and so important to be answered. And that's why I like to share that too. You know, because I think sometimes we, we wonder, right, or in the spiritual entrepreneur, and I consider myself as spiritual entrepreneur, I feel like you consider yourself probably a spiritual entrepreneur, oftentimes, we, we have this idea that we, we manifest everything and we don't take action. And so for me, it's always important to show to you know, there was an intention, there was a connection, and then there was an aligned action that was taken, and it all worked out, right. Like from you being like, I'm looking for more speaking engagements to the opportunity being presented, and to you say, hey, I want to take a step towards this opportunity, because it's right there. And, you know, for people to understand how it all comes together. Because when it comes to building our businesses, the more we can co create. And the more we understand that it's a balance in this downs of all of it. I feel like the more we can create a fulfillment, and so I would love for you to maybe talk a little bit about, you know, your book, and choosing fulfillment and how that ties into what you do. Because, you know, I'm thinking about even the actions that we take in business and how building a six figure business building, you know, a business that allows us freedom to play and work from home and work from Mexico and work from the beach and you know, whatever we work from wherever I walk from, you walk from is something that gives me too tremendous amount of fulfillment. But I had to face my fear. And I continue to face any fears that come up and I say, I see you and I'm going to keep moving anyways, like it's not been like yeah, it's it's been an interesting journey.

It's always an interesting journey. And it's all about the journey. And I used to hate the phrase, falling in love with the journey, because I was I wanted a destination, I wanted to get somewhere. And I'm learning over and over and over again, that there is no destination. And there's beauty in the steps that we go through. But my sort of journey starts definitely peak pandemic. My background is in the nonprofit sector. And I had worked at a small foundation, I live up in Canada. So Calgary, Alberta, born and raised Alberta girl, and I was working in the nonprofit sector, it had been a dream for many years for me to work in the nonprofit sector, working with communities working to support the initiatives that they have to make our city a better, more beautiful space to live, play, work, all those sorts of things. And so this job was my dream job, I was so excited to have it. And then my role kept getting bigger, I got more responsibilities, I got promoted to director level was doing the things making stuff happen, the pandemic hit, we all got sent home. And then something shifted, for me quite significantly, where I was working really, really hard for something I realized I didn't care about. And as soon as I knew that this work wasn't the work I was supposed to be doing. I couldn't unknow it. And then the heaviness of the work just got heavier, heavier, my anxiety increased, I was upset, I was crying after staff meetings, it was I was very out of alignment. And I probably wouldn't have used that language at the time. But I was just so disconnected from my soul work or what I really cared about. And again, at that time, I still didn't know what that was necessarily. But I had been working with Jen and she coached me through a lot. But I ended up choosing to quit my job in February 2021. So sort of peak pandemic, I decided December, finally left in February of 2021. And it was a decision that was scary AF, that's where the title of my book comes from. Because it it wasn't logical unemployment rate was skyrocketing. I didn't have another job, I didn't have a plan, I had some savings to kind of fall back on but there was no like, I'm gonna quit and do coaching, or I'm gonna quit and do my own thing. There was none of this planning of what was next I was too burnt out and depleted to have any capacity to even think about what was next. And so I knew I just had to make a decision. Before I could think about what I was going to do after. But that decision making process was the very difficult, I would say it was almost agonizing to the point just a lot of soul turmoil. And a lot of deep emotions came up around choosing myself and feeling guilty that I was letting other people down the fear of what's next doubting that I could actually do something different. Because this job I really grown into who I was as a leader, and then I'm like, Who am I going to be if I'm not here? Am I relevant? Do people care? Like, am I just gonna fall off and be forgotten? And that actually became the premise of my book was these emotions and all the thoughts that came up? Well, I was making the decision. And it actually worked out to become a bit of a seven step framework around the steps that you might feel or go through when you're making a big transformational decision. And so, choosing fulfilment fulfillments really the word where it's very specific to who you are, and it might not make sense, but it's this peace around. Joy, ease, happiness flow, like some of those words kind of resonate with me when I think of fulfillment. And it's not necessarily easy, or lots of money or success, but it's something that just feels good to yourself and your soul. But it's going to likely be in opposition or in friction of what society tells you you should do. And so the book is all about that premise of choosing something for yourself choosing for you versus listening to all the outside noise or all those external voices that have an opinion because they definitely have pinyons And I definitely had a lot of people share theirs with me during that time. But that's sort of the beginnings of my stories. That's the story of the book. And, yeah, it's been a whirlwind.

I love that. Well, I love this time, like choosing for you, one, on a dive into that a little bit more, but congratulations on making that big decision. You know, I think that a lot of people wanting to make big choices. But they get really stuck in the story and the responsibility and the noise of other people's opinions, what we think we should do what the right thing is to do all the, you know, Bs, we have piled on, you know, over the years, and over our lifetime, however long we've been alive at that point in time. And, and as somebody who made a major decision leaving my Korean to hotel industry, which I was very successful, and I, I totally resonate how difficult that decision is, and I had a plan with my business. So I can't even imagine what it would have been, like, not having a plan. And it took me three years to make that decision. And I burned out in my career, and I, I fru, my burnout and self helping myself for becoming a health coach, I ultimately found coaching and that's how I ended up like coming full circle. And you know, now I'm doing what I'm doing. But I was in business already. And then I became a coach, not to actually become a coach, I became a coach, because I was helping myself, but I just appreciate how monumental that decision is. And it is a decision you make for yourself. And not everyone will understand that. But there is something that happens when we do. And I would love to share maybe from your experience, like when you chose you when you made that decision. What did you What did you find? Or maybe what transpired because I think it's not so much finding it. But it's just opening up like we can see things I find on the other side that we couldn't see. Before they were already there. So I feel like I don't like the term like what did you find? Or what are we finding? Because it's not really about finding it's more about starting to see things you couldn't because you were standing in your own way. So as you chose you through this one opened up for you, other than like, from the fulfillment, obviously. But what was that for you? On the other side of this? Yes.

I think it's definitely like this openness of possibility, which has been beautiful and overwhelming. Because when you're in the are on the path that society agrees with what your friends and family understand. You're like, okay, it's step here, step there, you do this, you do that. And then stepping into this other realm of, I can do anything I want. I was like, holy shit. I don't know what to do now. But it was also invigorating and expansive, where I was like, Oh, my God, I can finally do whatever I want. And I had started writing a blog at the very, very beginning of the pandemic, I had went to a personal growth conference, the weekend, week, week, before, march 2020, before everything shut down, and so I was like, ready to go ready to inspire I was like, I'm making changes, like, I'm gonna be a speaker, I'm gonna be an author, like I was just like raring to go, and then the pandemic hit. And I just started writing this blog. And it was something that carried through that actually started to show me I really believe that it started to show me what fulfillment actually felt like, before I knew it was missing. And so that's what got me on the writing path of like, I want to write I like to write I want to share, even though it was something I always wanted to do, like growing up and expanding in university, but I just never pursued it because it didn't make sense. I wasn't going to make a living as a writer. And then I quit my job and I was like, Oh, I actually have time now to write. And I had actually started a different book, there was two others that I wanted to write like the idea, the concept. And then the one that fell out of me, so to speak was the experience with my job. It was this choosing myself this choosing this big leap. And since then, it's been such a journey of learning to listen to myself. and getting to know my energy and getting to know my listen to my intuition, I like to call it my whisper. And following that, and trusting that is been a very expansive experience and challenging because the answers don't always make sense or things don't always happen as quickly as you want them to, especially in the coaching side. So I've been that's been the focus for me is helping people choose themselves and midst are amongst all the external noise and the outside opinions and helping guide them to trust their whisper to listen to their whisper to build that confidence that they know what is best for themselves. But it takes that it takes some training, it takes some building up have that inner confidence and that self leadership to follow it, to be able to make these big leaps and to make these big choices. And so it's kind of an inter twined answer of both of this experience for myself has been expansive, to learn more about me and have a deeper connection to myself, but then also sharing that with other people. Because I've walked that path, I know how scary it is, I know that it's hard. And then on the other side, it's there, it's just the growth is limitless, limitless, which is a beautiful thing. And it's just falling in love with that process of getting to know yourself. Ah,

I love that Sara and you know, it's so like, it's always so beautiful to like, meet like, you know, other women and other souls who you know, share like a similar path. And, you know, as I'm like, hearing you share that and what you're talking about, know one thing that I have found on my journey and same, like I feel like fulfillment, satisfaction, love, joy, freedom, like liberation from all that mind. fuckery that's what has been such a huge monumental part for me to make some significant changes, I mean, even in the last seven months from leaving my 16 year long relationship and marriage and packing up my things and and now living in to loom and possibly, I actually just extended my stay but a lot of time, a lot has come with a lot has come with these positions to leave like I've done a lot of dismantling. And what I found along this journey was it was like like, it's like calling a degrade patch. There was a clearing that was happening. So the more choices that I would make and you said in alignment right like in alignment with what really felt true what was in alignment with that soil was our true voice our true self right like our soul self, and to let ourselves move and not what ended up happening. Things disappeared from my life. Your things went disappeared, people have gone and disappeared from my life. Friendships have fizzled out. connections have fizzled out like I've just and I just kept surrendering and letting go and and really focused on removing the resistance to staying attached to all those things. And what I found is that the more I cleared the more space I made right it was like there was this process of almost like clearing patching making space like fast it was people things shit that I didn't need any more idea and then we moved on to ideas believes stopped laddering my freaking space and it as this clearing happened. It actually followed with an almost uncomfortable emptiness at one point where I was like, I'm so empty but my mind was so still and that was uncomfortable because I was actually in a more peaceful place than I've ever been. And then there was some sabotage happening. And then I was like, actually this is great, right but then on like, there was sort of dislike I found that there was this delay between doing the clearing and then consequently with all the space people coming into my world right there a few things have come into my world but it's because I really detached from actually needing them in the first place. I have everything that I need. So it all works out. But it was a really interesting, almost uncanny. Like, there was just discomfort in the nothingness until i understood that everything is possible when when we're in like, yeah, when nothingness really is understood. So nothingness is actually quite beautiful. Where we, but there is a negative negativity we attach to that, right. But when the noise goes and it gets really quiet, it becomes a new experience. And then it's navigating the new experience. And so I found that a really interesting journey for me, as I transitioned into that fulfillment.

And I think as you're talking about that, that quieting that space, that sort of emptiness for yourself, I think that's at least for me, on my experience, that's where all my resistance came in. Whereas this letting go letting go, and then you kind of start to calm, you start to create space, you start to purge and filter. But then you start for like, for me, I just I'd start grasping at things, behaviors, people, relationships, habits, cycles, and there's this awareness that happens that you start to see this stuff now, because you have space, you're actually open to receiving and hearing it. But the resistance that I would feel because I was afraid to let go of these things, I was afraid, like, who am I on the other side. And I feel like I already have this like second book brewing in me right now, around this, like in between space of you make these big choices. And you're, in theory, like getting to the other side, but there's this in between uncomfortable space where there's resistance, and sabotage and love and healing and tears and joy and freedom and like, all of this mixture of it all, but it's really scary to let go of so many of the pieces of who you thought you were, or who you thought you were supposed to be. And like the identity, unveiling of who I really am, has been. The like depths, I think of my in between experience, and it's been really i Oh, there's so many words like expansive, it's scary and wonderful, but it's part of the journey. Again, it's part of the journey. Yeah, I

mean, it's, it's like, it is a bit like grieving. I found we go through this grief, of ideas of of even like, I mean, I was grieving the life I thought I would have with someone. Firstly, I knew that that life wasn't serving me anyone that things really well and working and neither of us was fulfilled or happy. Yeah, and not relationship anymore. And it just wasn't working anymore. And there was some foundational things that just weren't right. And so you know, for the sake of, I just wanted it to be something so much. But what I learned to you in that in between space that you're talking about, you know, it's so similar as well to what I find we experience in business, when we grow our businesses is that when we get really clear on our path, when we get clear on who we're serving, when we're clear, getting clear on the problem resolving how we're going to do it, when we get really committed to our own path, and get strategic in that there is a void in between, we're building momentum beneath the surface, well, we can see that our efforts are going where we're we're showing up and and this is where so many of us try like entrepreneurs stuff to space, let's do this, let's do that. Let's do this. Let's do that. Rather than trusting the strategy, trusting that what we've put in place to hold us, like you teach your clients to tap into their intuition and trust so so the way you're teaching, it's a strategy to allow your intuition to guide you, right. Like it's very much rooted in the flow and then so language and in the feeling of things, but it's still a strategy. And we've got to allow them to trust that intuition, right. And trust is not a strategy, but we got to drop that intuition but trusting that, that space in between as okay and trusting that there's something that happens or something that ruminates or something that that ends up being able to to VD stick and it takes time and sometimes like it is impossible to say how much time it's going to take because it depends on really how much you can embody that new feeling and feel rooted and peaceful and grounded and trusting in your plan and in your choice and in your way and in your path and in all those things, right. But when we do, it's like, boom, opportunities drop in, things drop in new relationships come in, right? We meet new people, we love situations resolve themselves, like, you know, we leave a job, and we find our calling. Absolutely. Right. But like,

the exam between. And that's where I think mentorship for me has been so powerful to help guide me in the in between, and also where my passion for it comes from where I like to work from, because it's that space where you don't quite have the trust, yet, you don't quite have the vision or the strategy yet. And that's where different people come in to give their strengths and their experiences. And for me, it's like that in between space, like where we want to be held where we need that extra support. And that's been the transformational piece for me, if I didn't have mentors, and I didn't have coaches, I don't know where I would be or like there's my growth would have been, I think, minimal in comparison to how much I have grown leaps and bounds because of that guidance for, for them to hold me in space to where I was uncertain. Or to help me go deeper. Because sometimes we think, Oh, I think it's this thing that I'm upset about, I think it's this thing that's really hard, when actually it's about worthiness, or not enoughness, or our identity or whatever is coming up for us. And without that guidance, we're just going on a bit of a hamster wheel in our own head, I think so that's definitely where I kind of like to work from and where I've been inspired to, to hold my clients with is from that space of, I can hold you and I will be there for you, when you don't yet know how to do it.

I love that. Yeah. And, you know, I think that's so powerful for so many reasons. But one of the things that I want everyone listening to understand, too, is that all that work that you do for your personal fulfillment and personal life, also allows you to show up with more confidence and more powerfully in your business, like everything's connected. Like everything is connected. And, you know, I think that if you like when things aren't working the way you want them to in your business, and you're holding yourself back, for example, you're not speaking your voice, you're not sharing or saying what you want to say chances are, you're also not doing that. In your life, you might be censoring yourself in your life, you might be holding back, you might be, you know, showing up differently when certain people are around then when they're not around, right. Like I feel like that there's so many transparencies here while doing the work internally. And then doing the work in business is so essential, because they work hand in hand. Yeah, it's not one or the other. So I love that. So Sarah, what advice would you have for somebody that's maybe pondering with a big decision? You know, I know a lot of the people listening to this podcast, building their businesses aspiring to build to six figures, a lot of them still have, you know, side hustles part time jobs. And they know that that question, you know, should I quit? When do I quit? What do I do? You know, that is a big thing. You know, and a lot of that comes down to safety. But when somebody is finding themselves at this crossroads, to make a big choice to choose, you know, what do I really want? Where do they start?

It's simple, yet very complicated. I will say they, they have to start with themselves. And that's very much the premise of my book. And I also have a workbook called the choosing fulfillment workbook, that actually incorporates all of the exercises and sort of journal prompts that I used when I was going through this decision to quit my job. And I actually had journals that I had used that time. I didn't know what I was doing. It was just my experience. I was writing things down and there's little quotes that I throw in the book, but there's there were practices that I used to understand what I was feeling, and to really go inward of, of what I was feeling. And I needed to quiet the outside noise in a big, big, big way. Because everybody had an opinion. People had fears people might have thoughts, but I needed to get really clear about what my doubts really were. What Was I really afraid of, and then I had to rewrite those stories. But until you know what you were actually afraid of, if you don't really know what's holding you back, you're going to stay stuck, you're going to sit in that indecision, until you really know what you're so scared of.

I love that get to the root of it. Yeah, get to the root of it. It's like weeding a garden. If you want your weeds to be gone from your garden, you got to pull the weeds out by the roots by the root. That's right, you can't just cut them off. I love this, Sarah, and we'll make sure that we'll put the link to your workbook in the show notes as well so that people can download that because I think that it's so relevant for so many people, you know, so for anyone listening, you know, take advantage of that. So Sarah, other than the workbook, where is a good place to connect with you? If listeners are like, I want to know more about Sarah, you want to like follow her and see what she's up to and learn more what she's all about? Where can we find you.

So I like to play on Instagram, that's sort of my main platform, you can find me at the only Sarah Stepa at the only Sara Stepa Sara without an H. I also have an online community of my own as well called the journey seekers are also on Instagram at underscore journey seekers. and my website is the attitude is gratitude.ca. So there's a few different places I play mostly on Instagram. That's where I go live. That's where I post the inspiration as well talk about my programs, and upcoming things like that. And if you're a reader, you can get my book on Amazon as well. So that's choosing fulfillment is scary AF and it's available

worldwide. Okay, that is awesome. Well, we'll make sure that all those links in the show notes that so many places, but it sounds like Instagram is the place to go at the only Sara Stepa. Or at journey seekers, I'm sure when they go to the only Sara stepa, but they can probably find your other handles as well. So that is a great one. And we'll make sure that they're in there. That is awesome. Okay, well, one final question that I have for you, before we wrap up this beautiful interview. And thank you so much for sharing. I want to know now that you're on the other side of this now that you have stepped into your fulfillment started your new career, and are now supporting human beings, souls women on that journey. How do you feel about your career? Because you mentioned at the beginning that it just wasn't right anymore. So where are you now?

It's it's still a still a work in progress. I'll be really honest, there's so many lessons that I think I'm still anchoring in. So the experience of working with clients has been beyond what I could imagine. But it's also been fulfilling in ways that I didn't expect and fulfilling for myself and how I've gotten to know myself and my own personal growth. While I move towards building this business is serving and helping other people, I've become stronger, I've become more confident I've become more connected. I love deeper, I feel deeper, and there's just so much that I have healed. So for me, the on the other side is been in some ways very selfish, whereas like, I just feel like a much more fulsome and whole version of myself that I want my clients to feel to. That's that the other side is that wholeness feeling.

I love that wholeness. And it's always a journey, right? Like we embrace that journey. That's why you know, whether you like it or not, the sooner you stop loving that. Bakley to have your mobile build, you're gonna be right. Yeah, yeah. And finding

joy and finding the moments and finding people or podcasts or books. It's like finding the things that support you because it's it's not about feeling crappy or down on yourself. When you're going through this work. It's it's the goal of the other side. It's the goal of where you're being and who you're becoming. That is really important to set our sights on not the heaviness because I'll be honest, before we jumped on this morning was a really heavy morning for myself. There were tears there were things that were coming up. So that still happens, even when I'm doing the work that I want to do and I know I'm here to do. It's still there. It still happens, but it's staying connected to that sole purpose and staying connected to myself is where I think it's all wrapped up in

Yeah, you know, I think that's so powerful. And I think too, it's understanding that we can be in a high frequency without being like bubbly and high vibe, we can be sad and still welcome clients, you know, we can be heartbroken on the floor, having like a meltdown and literally like not being able to get up and somehow pick ourselves up to flow and show up and nail a client call, like, you know, I feel like a lot of times we think of perfection when we think of fulfillment and happiness and joy and, and I love that you're bringing that up. And I, you know, that's a whole other conversation to dive into. But I very much believe that embracing all of it, and loving all of it along that journey is so critical, and understanding that it's all part of it. And that emotion within itself is so beautiful. And it's, it's simply another emotion. It's not bad or good or doesn't, you know, make you not be able to call things in anymore manifest things that you want. It's really, it's really, there was a lesson and there is an emotion that's gotta be felt. And when we allow ourselves to feel it and still feel the joy for those moments. It changes the way we think about the journey, right? And then it's like, things don't have to feel so hard, even when sometimes hard things happen. Absolutely. Absolutely. Goodness. Sara, thank you so much for sharing. Again, we're gonna make sure that everyone has all the details to find you in the show notes, and they can grab those links. Thank you so so much is a wrap for another episode, and I'm so excited to be back with you all soon. Take care.