Do You Keep Promises with Yourself? With Hall of Fame Speaker and Entertainer, Jason Hewlett

Welcome to diner jocks with James. slide into the booth and let's have conversations we never want to end with friends. We never want to leave over food we probably shouldn't be.

My friends what is going on? Welcome to another episode of diner talks with James. I'm James and I'm super pumped to be here with you all today. Thanks so much for sliding in the booth with me. What do we have in today friends, you want a greasy burger, you probably want a greasy burger look like they're in a greasy burger mood today and I mad at you. First kind of pizza burger ever had was in a diner, where they literally slather it with marinara sauce and then a little mozzarella cheese. It's a delightful product, the bond is decimated by the end it is a knife and fork burger. But you know if you want to give me carbs topped with cheese and marinara sauce, I'll probably in most forms. So that's what we're going to serve you up today, my friends. We're gonna do that in the form of my man, Jason Hewlett. Jason and I met a few years ago when a lot of people in the speaking industry said you know, hey, I need to talk to Jason he'll, you know, Jason, you should talk to Jason. Good guy, Jason. And I was like, Alright, who is this fool? And then all of a sudden he was on the mainstage doing a session tickling the ivories Ray Charles in enough. What a wonderful world Louie Armstrong doing all of the beautiful things. And the man is captivating on stage and exceptional entertainer who also punches you in the side with some education as well. And I quickly gained respect for him understand why people told me that I should talk to him. And I have been trying to build a friendship with him ever since. And I would say it's working. No, it is working. Despite the fact that we live in different time zones. Let me tell you about this man, Jason Hewlett, certified speaking professional speaker Hall of Fame member. He talks to the top corporate events around the world with his message, the promise, which is also the title of his new book as well. He combines powerful business meets personal mindset shifting philosophy of the promise to make better leaders, better humans, better team mates, all that kind of stuff. He's a family man, a husband and a father of four beautiful children I love on his website. He says My hobbies include hiking in the mountains, writing music, playing with my kids and staring at my wife. That's love y'all. That is love. He is a hysterical man. With a beautiful message and values coming out the wazoo. I'm super excited for you to meet him. Let's bring him out right now. My man Jason Hewlett

What an intro Dude, that was incredible. I'm like, Jesus isn't a real ideal host what's going on? Man?

That's it. My brother. You know, I wanted you had to feel like you were getting called out to center court with the jazz you know, I'm saying you got the purple behind you.

Center Court baby. That felt right, dude, you're good. This man. Well, James, I think they said we needed to meet at NSA. Because we have glasses. We have beards. And we love to make people smile. And so I think that's why we're pals.

Yeah, it is, I believe it is simple is that we frequently try to complicate it more as humans, but sometimes it just can be that simple.

It's just this.

My brother, I'm super excited to hang out with you, man. Thank you so much. How's things going over in Salt Lake City today?

Salt Lake City's a little rainy this day as the winter starting to roll in. There's leaves all over the ground. And it's a beautiful time of year. The gigs for me because they've fallen off for the last year and a half have rolled back in whether it's in person or on the virtual In fact, this very morning, I did a virtual event for over 100 leaders from a company that's less than 10 minutes from my house. They wanted it virtual. So those are still happening. And yet I flew to San Diego last week to speak to 200 travel professionals. So it's like coming along and it's awesome. But Salt Lake is great.

Yeah, yeah, at some point in time, you're like you don't just like right next door, right? It's like your friend that you're like I think we're friends but you never invite me to hang out, right? Kind of somehow these these local virtual gigs field where it's like, you know, as I read over here, right, like, just like pop in

a local virtual gig. It's just an oxymoron. Isn't it just seems so disturbing, but I'm thrilled. That's an option and that people like it. And so how about you man? Remember, remind me where are you? Are you Minnesota?

Minnesota? Twin Cities. Twin Cities

You like the Purple Man you like the purple are exactly

perfectly was one of my brand colors as well so as you can tell we you know, we got the diner in here with the purple logos on the book so yeah that's a is a lot even more than meets the eye that people knew about us Jason this similarities continue

There we go man,

brother I'm super excited that you're here Jason this show is called diner talks with James that I think the best conversations that we have in our lives occur late at night over the food that we shouldn't be eating with the friends that we never want to leave. And so I'm wondering as a kickoff conversation what are some of your favorite late night eatery moves and now maybe maybe not someone who goes out super late anymore but and whatnot with the kids and stuff like that but I'm wondering if you do have a late night guilty pleasure mood in the food department.

Then you know when you have four kids and three of them are teens and you're just trying to make sure they're not doing insane things you don't go out as much anymore but I did get to go out with a friend recently. We went to Buffalo Wild Wings. That was rad you know and I went I went with another PAL to village in but I can say this Denny's used to be the spot so how about yourself man?

Yeah, what what's what's your order at Denny's? You remember we used to get

Moons Over My Hammy ladies and gentlemen. Yeah, legit. Just just sign the contract and then you're going right to the grave straight to the hospital Moons Over

My boobs over my head one of the best named dishes and in the modern world right it's up there with rooty Tooty fresh and fruity over at I have which brings up to our first our first sponsor Denny's no I'm not so yeah, no I love I love that man. You know I as far as the late night move here in the Twin Cities there isn't as much late night options you know, I'm born and raised in New York where it's where the diners are and diners are 24 hours and you can get anything from a fine steak to a bowl of oatmeal at any time of the day and some of them have a weird bar behind there to I don't know who's drinking but not me. I'm getting a milk chocolate milk but but still now but yeah, that's late at night. I'm used to doing I do I do pancakes. I do grilled cheese with bacon. And so yeah, those are those are usually my late night moves. But if I am in a Demi's Moons Over My Hammy is my move.

Grilled cheese with bacon. Legit. So I I definitely need to indulge in this fashion a little bit more because for the longest time in my career, I've had a challenge with my my weight in terms of even people telling me you need to lose weight if you're going to be an entertainer on a stage. And that's just been offensive obviously. But so I've constant been on a diet. So if I go right now to Denny's. I'm literally ordering that VIP breakfast thing where it's like, I literally say to them, can you give me four of the omelets just to eggs with the cheese. And then I need like four helpings of bacon and they're like, are you trying to kill yourself? And I'm like, or just give me a Moons Over My Hammy. So that's my diet. It's just all protein all the time. Yeah. All that because I've been working out trying to lose some weight. And it's like this constant struggle, you know, that I've had. So it's interesting. Yeah, it is as

has weight been something that you've always had a an up and down relationship with, like, since you were younger and stuff like

that. No, not when I was a kid when I was a kid, I could eat everything you know, and then I then became an adult. And then I got a job in Las Vegas as a Ricky Martin impersonator. Sure. Now, when you're Ricky Martin impersonator, there is a lot of expectation, such as perfect fitness, for example. And so I was maybe 10 pounds overweight in the eyes of the producers. And so I had to starve myself. And this is a story I don't share pretty much ever. But yeah, I mean, that's why we're diner talk here, right? And so I'm just saying like, it created this weird, I don't I don't know if it's an eating disorder in me. But it became this obsession where I'm like, I constantly have to be so careful. And it almost jacked up my metabolism to this to this place where it was like, my body was constantly like, can we hang on to this? Or should we burn it off? What should we do with this? So my body has been fighting for 20 plus years since I was a Las Vegas entertainer in a show where they said you have to lose weight, or you're going to get fired. That's a true story. That's crazy that somebody would say that. And you know, you hear that mostly with the women stories, but that's a real thing with men, especially in Las Vegas show.

Yeah. Yeah, that's fascinating. You really don't hear that as much with man because I mean in general, men Don't talk about self esteem and self esteem body related issues as much. We're kind of taught to make fun of ourselves and stuff it in the lump in our throat and keep it pushing. Not really not really talk about it.

That's right. That's true man. And it's a shame because I think a lot of guys are going through that, where they're just like, looking at themselves are dissatisfied with how they've become an you know, it's like, is there either a way that we can do something about it? Or can we accept what we are, and you know, where the dad bod, proudly, and you know, unless it's like, literally affecting your health, if it's affecting your mental health, maybe need to do something about that, whether it's therapy or, or, you know, maybe going on the diet, but I'll tell you to set a goal and have a diet that is just a pain in the butt. That's when when it finally changed for me is when I finally made promise to myself that I'm just going to sweat every day. If all sweat every day, I'm probably going to eat better every day. And that was when my body started to change. And it's it's constantly this thing where I'm trying to make it right. And I actually enjoy it. It's actually now for me working out. Oh, yeah, I mean, I feel good about myself. You know, I'm like, Yeah, even if it's like, my arms look awesome. But my bellies like, you know, the drunk guy at the party. You're like, Get out of here, man. You know. That's my body. My arms are incredible. my shoulders, my legs, and my stomach's like burgers. Let's go do some stupid arms of

a story starting quarterback, gut of a gamer.

That's right, man. It's what it is

It's, uh, yeah, it's Yeah, but that's, that's, that's beautiful, though, that, Amy that you've been like, hey, if I if I do this, I know that my, you know, I feel more physically fit. Yes, I also feel more mentally fit. And that's a, that's, that's cool that you found a system that that's worked for you. I would say that, you know, my relationship with my weight has definitely been, has been complicated. It's a conversation that I bring up routinely with my counselor. Um, it's something that I'm, you know, trying to work past. I'm like, Why? Why can I not break these patterns, and they're just so deeply entrenched in so that that is work that I'm currently in the process of doing, and I'm excited to continue to do because it's time brother. It's time.

Yeah, man. And, you know, the thing is, is that my, my family, my, you know, some of my siblings, my, my parents and so forth. Weights been a thing you know. And so when it becomes that conversation, where it's only about negativity, that's a that's a challenge to work around. And so now I'm a father, and I have children who are saying to themselves, I'm fat. And I'm like, Dude, you are not fat. What is the deal? And so as we, as we try to improve ourselves, how do we make it so that our children and those that are around us aren't like getting all that bad stuff, but instead are getting the good and saying, Oh, look at dad, he's like, waking up at 5am. And working out. That's, that's amazing. You know, instead of just like, who's doing it, because he hates himself, you know, that's my favorite. My favorite joke. I think it's Jim Gaffigan. Or the doctor where he says, it's something like, he's, how does it go? He's like, the, you know, the doctor said that I'm overweight. And if, you know, if I have a problem with, you know, eating or something, and I say, No, and he says, don't just stop eating when you're full. And I say, No, I stopped eating when I hate myself. True. That's where

No stopped. And I hate myself.

I can so relate to that, anyway.

Yeah. Yeah. It's also a cool point. They're also about like, what are we what are we teaching those that are around us? And some of that some of that language and some of that shame, right? It is. It is so easy to pass on the shame. And I know I know that it's something that was passed on to me now right as I listen to the way that my parents talk, that is definitely something that that narrative was picked up and that it is it is hard to shake those patterns. But yeah, that's that's cool that you've done that and also, you know, we got to go back to something brother because you know, we're not just gonna let it slide that you are Ricky Martin impersonator talking about you know, I thought you were gonna tell me that you know, one of the requirements was skin the color mocha as he starts doing the boots sit I'm glad this is a fun moment for you. I'd hate to be reframing up tribe trauma. But the talk about a job that you probably couldn't get today but for the best reasons, like ideally they're not Hiring tall white man to be Ricky Martin impersonators in 2021.

Oh, man, I mean look at when we think about like canceled culture and stuff, I mean, holy chi. I don't know how that one happened. But here's the thing. I looked enough like him apparently back when I was in my early 20s. And he was the hottest thing on the planet. What was interesting to me about that, James is that I did grow up not with the weight issue, but I did grow up with the ugly issue. And everyone everywhere I went would always say how ugly I was. I actually talked about this in my book. And the thing about the ugly was, obviously I did all these silly faces and these things with my eyebrows and my nose and stuff that anyone that's watching is like, what was that? Well, that's not a glitch. That's like what I figured out I could do. And people would either laugh, or they would say it's ugly, or both. And so, for me to go from the kid that graduates high school, with confidence in my capabilities, and yet, thinking literally that I'm ugly, because I've been told I've been ugly my whole life. Yeah. to Now Las Vegas, producers, and owners of impersonator shows saying, You know what, you look like the most handsome man in the world. You should.

I'm like, they're like, you could be Ricky Martin impersonator. I'm like, What are you talking about? And they showed me how to shade my my makeup and how to, you know, before the beard and how to do the moves and how to sing a little bit. The next thing I know I'm the top Ricky Martin impersonator in the world. And there were many when we were doing this back when he was hitting it hard and he was all over the place. But yeah, man, it was that was a wild experience to to come out on stage. And do the live Vita loca live in the Vita loca and try to sing in Spanish and English and do some stuff and dance with the ladies and, and then I'd come down off the stage and women would give me all kinds of crazy stuff. It was amazing. They wanted my autograph. But not me. They wanted me to sign it as Ricky Martin. Like, I think this is illegal, but oh, well, you know, I'll sign your forehead.

I'll sue the company before me. I'll be fine.

So yeah, I mean, if we're bringing all the the truth up at a diner, that's what I would tell you is that yeah, it was bizarre to go from the kid who was being told he was ugly, his whole life to then all of a sudden being the most beautiful man in the world, or at least impersonating him and going, what's wrong with this picture? What how do we see ourselves, you know, like, what's wrong with this picture? And I've teach that now with my ICM process where I teach people identify, clarify magnify, and people have to clarify for us what we don't see in ourselves.

Mm hmm. Yes. Yeah. Love that. The ICM process the and what? What a juxtaposition it is to go from thing you're the ugliest person. Well, the big Ricky Martin impersonator. Do would you say that after that experience? Would like after that? Did you see yourself as more handsome? Did you see yourself as like? Maybe I'm maybe I'm okay. Are you like or is it? I'm only handsome when I'm, you know, doing the contour makeup and I'm doing that. Okay. Yeah, it was it? Yeah, we take it off. I'm gonna take off the handsome every night.

Once I put on the makeup. I was like, boom, I am the sexiest man alive. It's very much like a Halloween costume. Where you know, you've got your sharing person. Yeah, you got the shy person love Jim Carrey. And all of a sudden, he's like, Shamokin. You know, and I'm just like, oh my gosh, I guess I can put on a character and feel better about myself. But yeah, I've had to work through a whole lot of that stuff, man, with therapy or with performance or with discussions with friends and other things that it's been it's been interesting, but I'll tell you being a Ricky Martin impersonator was cool. And then it wasn't cool. And you know what else was funny? They thought not only can you be Ricky Martin, but you can equally be Elton John. And I was like, what? Because you look at Elton John and Ricky Martin, there is no similarity whatsoever in their look at all. And so I found out that if I put my glasses on the right part of my nose, I had the same nose, button nose as Elton John. And I love space in my teeth that I just colored in a little bit more. I put the earrings in I put on the big feather boa and the outfit, man spitting image stuff. It's crazy. But if you do, if you do the mannerisms, what I call the signature moves of the artist, then the next thing you know you can transform into them. And that's how I now teach leadership. I just say hey, you have signature moves that make you uniquely you. And these are some that I can do an impression Have but how would I impersonate you? That's your promise to share it with the world. So that was a cool way to start my career was to be both characters. And I would be on stage as Elton John first playing the piano. I remember when Eric was me and Susie had so much fun. And then I'd run off stage, switch into the Ricky Martin gear and come out on stage up sad inside out. And everyone's like that. That guy's awesome. Who is that man? Yeah, right, man. And they were like, where's the Ricky Martin? Guy? Where's the Elton John guy. They didn't know it was me when I meet them if I was in one character, the other was amazing.

Wow. Which Yeah, it speaks to the the commitment that you had, and the look that you provided. That's that's and obviously the talent of the impersonation. That's, that's incredible.

And you didn't see me you. I think you saw me do some Elton John, probably at the NSA thing. And that was fun to pull that old bag of tricks out. Which I don't get to do that much anymore. Because what keynote speech opportunity has a piano sitting there. Right. And it's very rare. So yeah, you got to see a very unique performance.

Yeah, it's funny, because most of my, I think you would agree with this. Most of my keynote speech opportunities come with a feather boa. I just don't have the piano. So I'm like, Well, I guess I can do that. So well. He's got a feather bow in his back pocket at a time when this man had a piano to do something with this. Yeah. Yeah, you know, it's funny, I watched you perform the Elton John. And I thought to myself, it's a little bit funny. And that's all I thought about it. But it's a no, it's, uh, oh, man. That's incredible.

The, the, the idea that you made your money as an impersonator is fascinating. Because I mean, we obviously you see the Elvis people you see, I mean, Vegas is Vegas is a fascinating, fascinating town with all the impersonators that are there. And we all know the phrase, fake it till you make it. But if all you ever do is fake it, you never really make it. And so at some point in time, we, you know, we take off the costume, we take off the, a whatever, and we're the you know, we're the ugly kid who was looking for his car in the parking lot, right? In our, in our own brain. Now, nothing's changed, you know, I had an opportunity to be on TV recently, and co host a local show here in the Twin Cities. And, and then I, you know, took off the mic and game home and my baby was absolutely willing to just shit everywhere. And, and I was like, well, nothing. Now it doesn't matter that I was on, like, literally nothing matters. We're back in it. And we're, like, you know, like, it's just, it was a beautifully humbling moment of like, always feel free to get over yourself. And, and, but in but in the best way now. And so it's interesting, because, you know, I'd be curious to your thoughts of what is the balance between owning your super move, and accepting some of the flaws underneath, right as you as you teach others and as you even maybe for yourself, because, you know, your own separate super moves? Right? But you can't, you can't pull up to Arby's like a velociraptor and be like, No, this is my super move, though. Right? Like, like, some point in time. You gotta just, you know, you just need your, whatever, I can't think of his product right now, your curly fries and keep it moving. So I'm curious for you, like, you know, how do you find that balance? How do you teach that balance?

That's a great question. And you're so funny. You know, if I were to pull up and I do that, sometimes I go to Arby's, and I'm like, I'll just have roast beef. Just know that that's the I'll just have beef and cheddar. So here's how I would respond to that. It's that people see us in a certain light, we see ourselves in a certain light. Is there a way to bridge that gap? And I believe it's in a place called forgiveness. And if we can forgive the thoughts that we have of ourselves, and the thoughts that others may place upon us that we may not believe or we don't accept. I mean, there's this there's a weird feeling when you're famous to a certain degree. I felt little levels of Fame in my life. And that's been interesting, because you can't believe that that's truth. That people are coming up to you and wanting your autograph and all this picture stuff. because it's just like you said, you're on the TV and you come home and the reality hits, I've had events where I was in front of 10,000 people in a stadium, they loved me standing ovations over and over again. And then I literally walked backstage. And I've gotten locked out of the dressing room. And I can't even convince the security guard to help me. And so there's always this, there's always this place of forgiveness, but a place of true acceptance and gratitude for humility. And so if we can find that humility and be be, you know, be okay with who we are what we've got an equally strong enough to be able to share that which we, we know that we have, because others have told us, then that becomes a part of our promise to share with the world, what it is that we are, and equally to say it's okay, if I don't live up to what they expect, or what I thought I was going to keep a promise for myself today. And I teach a lot of leaders that that very principle that hey, you know, what? The superhero, the superpower and all that, maybe you don't see that in yourself, but you can forgive yourself of that, have humility, and be grateful for what you've got, and still share it?

Yeah. Yeah, I think that was beautiful. I love that. I love that line, the the, sometimes the, the relationship or the word that, that can, that can bring together and make into a beautiful situation that the view of others have us and the view that we have of ourselves, that word is forgiveness. I think that's, that's, I just butchered your quote, but I'll go back and make sure it's right when I type it out. But that that principle is, is really it's really powerful. The, the idea that you went from being an impersonator in Vegas, to what you do now, as a professional speaker, is not the craziest leap in the world, because there is there's entertainment on both sides. But at the same time, it is quite a jump. And I kind of want to go back a little bit. You know, when did you know that entertainment was in your blood? Like, were you? Were you that 40 year old grabbing the microphone at the party and crushing it? You know, outside of church where you you know, like, what, like, what, like, when When did Jason know that? Enter an entertainer was inside of him. And that was something that you really loved.

That's cool, man. I mean, when I was little, it was right away. I was five years old, making people laugh with the big the big now. The faces, you know, Pee Wee Herman was a star at the time. So I was like, hello, everybody. And now it's illegal to do that. But I will say like, like, I was able to do voices right away. So if I heard Mickey and Donald and Goofy I was doing that I was practicing. I'm like, How's Mickey Mouse doing that? Oh, oh, boy.

Oh, oh. Oh, boy. Hi, everybody. Mickey Mouse here. Oh, right. We're just goofy. Oh, oh, you're everybody. Goofy here. We're Donald's.

You know, so I became that guy. Like, wanting to laugh. And so I practiced it. And I noticed that yeah, people liked me because of that, that helped, you know, and never thought that it would be a career I wanted to be an NBA basketball player play for the Utah Jazz that was my goal and dream. But eventually some teachers some coaches other people helped me to identify, clarify and magnify which is what I teach my signature moves that have become what I have become and now I can teach it authentically. So it's ever since I was little man, how about yourself? I mean, dude, you're you're legit hilarious, insightful, profound speaker. He shared he shared with your audience how it all like came to be how I was born. I remember when.

Okay. Well, my if you really want to know my parents told me that I was conceived in Michigan, and that's where it technically started. But yeah, I mean, there's there's videos of me at a very young age at like, it was my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary, and they had rented out this lovely Hall, it was Long Island, so there was mirrors everywhere because that's how you do it. And, and so, and it was during dinner, and I at some point decided I was done with dinner. But as as happens during formal events during dinner, they're playing like a smooth jazz or an instrument. No. And so I'm there's just a video of me dancing slow dancing with myself around the whole thing just uh, you know interacting with people and and if anytime Paul Simon's you can call me out came on when I was younger that's a song that my family knows. It's like it goes James. Mangos walking down the street. So, but yeah, so it's a bit yeah. And so that's when a lot of it started for sure. Were you did you say that was? Yeah, that was like probably it was five ish. Yeah, see? Yeah, it was a class clown super young. And I love that people called me weird. When I was in elementary school I used to I used to have a weird counter, where I would count every time they got called Weird that day, but it was always be a compliment. And, and so yeah, so that was, that was something because I don't know, because I liked. I knew that the different was cool. At that point in time, there's been other moments in my life where I didn't write that story because of whatever was happening inside me chemically and middle schools weird in high school, it's hard sometimes. And there's times where you just wish you could think that back. But but at the same time, being weird is always been a cool differentiator, whether it was the voices, or just the dashing with the bag of glass. And so, but either way, ya know, my parents could tell that I was passionate about comedy from young age. And my dad is a My dad's a man of tradition. And he's like, Well, we're gonna do comedy. We're gonna do a write and so he sat me down and we watched a lot of black and white stuff all you know, Sid Caesar, we're watching all the Laurel and Hardy we're watching Charlie Chaplin, we're watching and everything and everything all the way up Rodney Dangerfield? Right. But yeah, you know what I mean? Like, this girl told me to come up with this. Nobody know what it was nobody. So So yeah, you know, like, all that kind of stuff is when comedy, we you know, fell and fell in love with it all. So yeah, sort of from young age. And I was typecasted in all the high school plays, as we know what the bombastic character at the Major General and Pirates of Penzance though, whatever, and such and such, you know, like that kind of stuff. So yeah, it started it started young.

I love it. See? And I think that's so great. Because, you know, I think that your, for your viewers or listeners, that, you know, someone might be sitting there thinking, Well, I haven't figured mine out yet. How did these guys figure theirs out? Well, no, the truth is, you, you do know it, you've been using it to get the job you have, you've been using it to get the relationships you're in, you've been using it to even maybe get out of the relationships you were in, you know, it's, it's your signature moves. It's that which makes you who you are your gifts, your talents, your attributes, your skills. And that's where identifying it for yourself and saying, these are some things that make me unique. That's what's so cool about you, James, is that you're just this incredible cumulative collaboration of all the things that you've discovered through your life that worked that push some buttons that equally brought people to you. And that's how you connect. I mean, dude, it's so cool to see who you are, now that you have your promise. It's awesome.

It's beautiful. And I think, you know, some of those signature moves. Those sometimes, if if I think that sometimes when we're stuck, and we don't know where to go, and what's happening, what is my signature move, signature move, you know, when you're in your own head, you're like, What am I even good at? And you know, those those are the stories that we write. And I think a lot of it goes back to some of those times when we were young, and we weren't thinking about it. And it was just we just doing things because they brought us joy, and and that we just and so what were some of those things that we that we did, that brought joy to other individuals and brought joy to us. When we when we weren't even thinking about it when it didn't matter when a job wasn't on the line when dreams weren't on the line. Responsibility wasn't necessarily upon us. And often, there's some nuggets in there that we could bring in. I tell I've told the story on here before but you haven't heard is that when I was younger, we had this stump in our front yard with a corner and there was a stump on the corner. And I used to ask my mom as a mom, can we go outside and sit on the stump so I could wave at people and ask them how their days are going as they walk by? And like, this is what I wanted to do. Right? It was an innocent, just like that's who I am. But like from an early age. I wanted to meet people and wanted to know how they were doing and want to try to put a smile on their face and like some of those moments that we have when we were younger that we told friends who know us now they'd be like, Oh of course you used to do that. That is so you write like some of that stuff. Those shoes still fit.

That is so beautifully. I love that. And you know what? That's why I wrote the promise to the one, the promise to yourself. And so for anybody that's listening and thinking, Well, I don't know what I've got, I don't know what makes me unique or Awesome. Well, you've been using it forever, or you hid it away in a drawer, after somebody said it was ugly in your routine, and you're like, Okay, I'm gonna stop doing that one thing, well, can you have the permission by listening to someone like James or someone like myself, and say, Okay, I'm going to step bravely back into what I was naturally good at whether it's, you know, I mean, a lot of artists out there that have been stymied by the teacher who's like, I don't know what that is. And they're like, it's a picture of you. And then they're ruined, right? And so bring back the heart, man, sing the song, go do the dancing, come up with the problem and create a solution, invent something, create something, write the book that's in you. I mean, this stuff is just, it seems like common sense that we're talking about it because we've been striving to live it ourselves. But a lot of people are stuck in that space, where they're just so you know, criticizing themselves so much, where all we have to do is just set aside our doubts set aside what other people may have criticized us for and say, I'm going to step into this powerful place that I know I can, and I'm going to do something about it. And man, dude, think about it. I mean, I wrote a book, like, here's my book. Okay, looking back, I guess what? I failed English. Like I was kicked out of English class, the teacher said to me, the second day of class, I walked in, and he goes, Hey, you're a nice kid. I know, you're the student body president of the school. So you're, you're a leader of the school. But guess what? Reading and writing and that whole thing is not your deal. So go to study hall or go do something else. Book, oh, how do we get there? Yeah. We don't care what people said in the past, we say, hey, you know what, I identify myself as a writer. And so I'm going to write a book, and then we do. And that's when we make a promise and keep it. And that's what I teach.

Yeah. Yeah, that's beautiful. You know, when we think about where some of those people get stuck, a lot of times, a lot of times, it's because they think their ship has sailed. Right, the moment has happened. And like, Well, I was for some, you know, back when I was in my teens or my 20s, when I was a dreamer. And life was possible, right? And we and we tell ourselves some of those, those kind of stories of like that was, and then it's that it's the regret or the resentment, sometimes of other people that are chasing it. But obviously, there's countless stories of people who start at every single age. And, and so that's, that's not necessarily one that we need to write. There's also another story that I've noticed that a lot of times, I wonder if you have any friends that that do this, but a lot of times people when they become parents, they believe in order to be a good parent, quote, unquote, that it's no longer about them. And it's only about their children so longer about their dreams, it's only about their children's dreams, their opportunity to fulfill their own promise, or their own, you know, dreams to themselves or whatever is coming going. And in order to be a good parent and I need to do they feel like they need to tuck it all away, and just focus up, what would you say to someone like that?

I would say that that's normal to feel that way. Yeah. And good for you for feeling that passionate about your child and your responsibility and your stewardship. But since you've now gone to full screen here, James, I'm going to show you a picture my family, there's my family. These are the most important people in my world. I love them. They each have their own little signature moves that make them unique and awesome, right. And so even though they have those signature moves, I have to still not only help them within theirs, but equally keep my promises to me as an individual. Because if we burn out, then we are no good for these people. And so what are the promises that we can make and keep for us? I know that I'm a better dad, for these beautiful children. If not only I help them to achieve their dreams, but I also helped myself to achieve mine. That means I'm waking up early and doing my workout and I'm like, Yeah, I feel good about myself. And then I can deliver more to the people that I love. Now there might be a young parent out there is like, I'm just trying to survive, man. My kids are crazy. There are seasons of life that we are all in. And so right now I'm in the season of life where each child has to be up at a different hour in order to get to school on time. I am the mornings guy so you From 530 to 830, every morning, I'm helping my children get up, get breakfast, do the deal, get to school on time, and how can I balance my life through that? I've found that there's a way to sit down and write in my journal, because that brings me joy. I can read my scriptures to the children while they're eating the breakfast, I just made them, I can still fill my own bucket and fill theirs at the same time. And a lot of the time, you know, what they're talking about fills me. And so I hope that that answers the question in some regard for some people that are like, how do I how do I balance this in reality, there's not much of balance to it, it's a matter of fitting in what works when it works, where it does. I mean, even if you're like, you're the tired, exhausted mom that can't get any rest, because the baby's up all night. Maybe your one moment for the day, is to pop in the headphones, and just dance in the kitchen for a minute to some music. And that's your moment of relief of joy, that thing that brings you happiness, and you can then dance around with the baby. And then eventually they'll dance with you when they're older.

Yeah, yeah. I love that. And I think you hit on a key word and called it out appropriately balance. A lot of times we feel like balance is the goal. But a balance is the goal, that we've set an impossible goal to reach. And, and that that's not the goal. And so it just can't be. And so I love the way that you spoke about that.

Yeah, I mean, as far as I know, I've never found balance in really, anything, all I've ever done is realize that, you know, while I'm focused on my physicality, and so forth, maybe some of the mental things that I should be focusing on are going to slip a little. And so then I'm like, Well, I'm going to focus on this physical stuff for a little bit, or maybe my social stuff will maybe just not be perfect at that moment. And other times, I might want to go to the diner with my friend James, and hang out more, because I need that, then the physical, I'm going to work out all day every day instead, that, that that's just the seasons of life that we can find ourselves in, and accept that that's where we're at. And then say, and part of our promise is to be fully present. In that moment. If we can be fully present, then we can feel better about it and be happy. That's that's really what we're trying to do here.

Yeah, yeah, I agree with you. I agree. You know, another big key piece to, to happiness, and to feeling happy, feeling fulfilled, etc, etc, is his integrity. And having integrity is, is important. It's, it's truly the, it's the mask for our sailboat. And, and it allows us to be stand up and wake up every morning and be like, you know, what, I do my best to go to bed every night and be like, You know what, to do my best, and it's, and it's still I taught myself when I wake up that I did my best, because I think it's important to you know, after each night asleep to be like, you know, that's pretty good. But still, but either way is, it is it's a powerful word. And developing integrity means sticking to our values. And this is something that is, this is something that you are very outwardly spoken about, in a really beautiful way. You are a deeply religious man. And, and it is the way that you speak about it is always powerful, and on LinkedIn, or Instagram or wherever it is. Even even on the stage. And so, to the point where when you first send out your book, I now own your book, and I've read it but at first I was like this might be the promise to God and we're gonna learn about it right now. And that's okay cuz I'm gonna support my boy and we go learn about it and and so but I wasn't sure right, it's got this majestic mountain. I don't know who's behind the nap. Jason, maybe you are. But either way

you're the leader and the leader. But but either way it's it's impressive to me because, you know, they tell you in conversations, you know, don't bring up politics don't bring up religion. Don't bring up this that and the other thing and a lot of times we're also told this as business individuals is you know, that we're told not to not to bring up something that may rub someone the wrong way. Right and there and there may be some people out there who like religious make religious and over here we go, Jason, you lit up. Am I supposed to Go to, you know, whatever before a confession. So you know, people, whatever they think about religion, you know, and then there's a way for that to turn people off. And I remember this, you know, especially around you know, I'm very passionate about a lot of social justice issues and outspoken about a lot of them online. And and I had it up on my uncle recently was like, Hey, you may want to tone down the way you talk about that, you know, some of your clients may not appreciate or that may that may make some people not want to book you because they're like, Oh, is he gonna come and stand on our stage and say that, and whatnot? And I remember that moment being like, No, this matters too much. Right? And like, if that client doesn't want me, that probably means that client actually needs me. But that doesn't necessarily mean I'm looking at higher was still. But I'm wondering for you to wrap this all back in here. How? How did you go about making the decision having conversations, maybe you know, with your wife or with your team, or whoever, just yourself? The one? How did you have that conversation? Where it's like, you know what, I'm not going to be afraid to be outwardly passionate about my religious beliefs.

That's a great set of your so funny,

quite a quite a long journey. Let's take a big gulp of water together.

Okay, so yeah, you you opening the book, trust me, you are not the first that thought when I say the promise to the one. Lots of people thought I was going with God on that one. And you could I mean, hey, I do that in a religious, you know, setting for youth when I speak and so forth. But no, the one is you, as you pointed out, the one is yourself. So the promise to yourself is the most important in my opinion, because then you can keep the promise to your customer, your team, your family, your God, your community, you name it, you can keep your promises all across the board if you keep them to you. And so yeah, when it comes to the integrity of sharing about my religious beliefs, I mean, James, you're right. I have lost opportunities, because people found out where I live, and then they assumed what I must be. And so when somebody says, I'm from Utah, you know, I do this whole routine on the stage, I think you've heard it where I say, you know, to an audience of New Yorkers, let's say I go, Hey, you guys heard I'm from Utah. So you must be assuming that I'm a skier, and they laugh. And then I say, I'm just kidding. I don't ski but my wives do. Kill. Fire every night. I'm just kidding. They don't have skis. But here's the point. And so I know, they're thinking, you know, and yeah, of course, I've, you know, I grew up in the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, which is known as the Mormons. And so I, I make fun of the, the signature moves that people know us for the stereotypes, just like I make fun of the stereotype of performing for accountants. And I know, even though they're not laughing outside of their body, they're loving my impressions. And so I made me feel

better. By the way. I recently spoke to a financial division. I was like, man, it's crickets.

So, so to bring it back to where, where we're going here, I share because I've been given courage by those who have in the past. And I also have seen those who haven't shared who regret not having done so. In other words, they're, they're hiding their own self, their own DNA. James, I was, I mean, I have pioneer heritage in my church. My great grandfather was the president of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir for 30 years, and they won a Grammy under his presidency. I mean, like, I have this in my blood. And so when you read about that, in my book, it wasn't like a preachy thing. It was just a reality. And I remember hearing comedians, like, you know, Jerry Seinfeld joke about being Jewish. And and these Catholic comedians that would joke about never going to church because they're Catholic. And I thought, well, if they can say that, what can I say about being a deeply religious guy who reads a book that's called Mormon. I mean, it's very interesting to be able to share it without it being preachy. And I think that's the important part is that I'm not going to preach at you. I'm going to just tell you what is from my life and how it can affect you in your life. So the more you know about my reality, and where I'm coming from, why I stand on the foundation I do that can help you to understand yours and define it for yourself whether you are a Baptist, you're Buddhist you're atheist, I don't care what you believe what I care is that you believe in yourself and do something about it.

Yeah. It's so beautifully put you don't JSON, if you know this about me, I'm born and raised in New York went to school down in North and South Carolina for undergrad and graduate school. And in the south. The second question you get asked after, how are you today? Or how y'all doing? Is, is, what church do you go to? Right? If they never met you before Al doing? And what church do you go to? And like, that's, that's, that's question number two or three. And as someone who is not religious, that was always like, Oh, God, here we go, another person is gonna I mean, I'm either about to get preached to, I'm about to try to get a conversion attempt. Or I'm or, or I'm about to get judged, or maybe all three sometimes, but some people are good. And so but it is. It's interesting, because in a lot of those conversations that I had with folks, you know, the way that they tried to quote unquote, convince me was like, Well, you know, in the Bible, it says, blank, and I was, uh, you know, I have to believe in the book that you're reading from, in order to like, you got a few more steps that need to happen. And so this is what I respect about the way that you post and the way that you share about it, because it is what you just said, it's never like a you do this. Come on away.

water. The water. Let's go

get in the water. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. All Your words don't start ending at GH. Right. So it is. But yeah, and, and the integrity that you have about it with your business? Is, is beautiful, right, that this is this is what it is? And you either want it or you either want it or you don't. And if you don't, I question why. And a lot of those things, so many people don't lean into things that make them uncomfortable. Understandably, no one's like, can't wait to feel uncomfortable today. But yet at the same time, that moment, that moment is beautiful. But instead it's like quick, like walls go up. That's not for me. I'm adding here, as opposed to what if I asked another question? What if I just just gave a little bit more time to the moment, as opposed to this makes me uncomfortable that goes against what everybody on my Facebook feed says. So I got I gotta go. So I appreciate the way that you talk about it. And the way that you carry yourself?

Well, that's nice of you, man. And I'm sorry, you've been through that, because I think everybody's been through that in their own right. And it leads us to different places, perhaps. But I'll tell you, as somebody who was a full time missionary for two years in Brazil, I spent my whole youth saving money to be able to pay for myself to go and do that service for Brazilians. And I had to learn Portuguese, and I had to live on next to nothing to make it work. And I had to live with a guy that I mostly hated most of the time that we'd walk around in ties and and then we were trying to figure out how to speak the language. And eventually you'd get another companion who was a nice person. I mean, it was a crazy experience. But I'll tell you what, the more I preached and taught about the gospel of what I believe, which is of Christ, the more I realized that a sign like yours behind you right now really is important. It really matters, whether I believe it or not, you believe it. And so I can respect you, I can, I can endorse you as the human being that I know and love, you know, just from our interactions. There's no judgment there. And so whether I agree with you, 100%, or I'm a far away from you, I can still be your friend, I can still, you know, keep a promise to myself to be like, What can I see that's great about this person, because every person I feel has something wonderful about themselves. And, you know, I became I think a little more brave in my posting. When when people started to acknowledge that they would say, Gosh, I was worried it was going to be some kind of preachy thing. Instead, it's just facts. You know, that you do this, and that's what you are. And we're probably both fans of Penn and Teller, but Penn Jillette I believe he's atheist, but he said some kind of quote that I'm going to botch, but you can probably Google it. He said something to the degree of like, obviously, I don't believe in a God and I don't believe in that stuff. But if I know somebody believes that, and they do not preach it or share it with me in with their belief system that it might save or help me, then I feel really bad about myself and our relationship because they never even said anything. They must hate me so much that they don't want me to even know what's possible for me. And that's why he always said to himself, I'm okay with somebody saying a little something extra. In that vein, there's a really interesting quote about, I don't remember what it is. But that's when I started posting more like, this is just my life. And this is just what's beautiful about me, just like what's beautiful about you? Can so that's part of the promise is to share that. And James, I have lost work because of it. And that's okay. Just like you said, you know, you're like, Well, I'm not changing that, just because you said I shouldn't do it. That's when I think we need to lean in even more. If we believe it, we need to say, okay, that's part of my integrity, I'm going to keep the promise to share it. And yeah, I've gotten calls from clients that are like, Hey, wait a minute, where are you flying in from Utah? Are you? And I'm like, Yes. And then they're like, oh, we can't have you come because of that. And that's the end of the conversation. That happens, quite. Persecution is real in this world right now. And it's not just happening at the different demographics and so forth that we hear all the time it happens. It happened to me recently, actually, it's just what it is.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry, that happened to you, brother. But it is what it is. Is, is true. But at the same time, there's others movements, right, we're ready to throw our hands up and be like, well, guess what? Catch Up next, coming to Christ. Right, like, whatever. What can you imagine the next meteor hits Earth? Or, you know, whatever, whatever, right? Like, it's, it's, yeah, it's a guide, or there's still, there's still there's still stuff that can be had and conversations that can be had, you know, when we go back to this idea of, of the promise. It is it's a powerful place to commit to oneself. And I define commitment as patients plus persistence. And, and so, so with that with with laying my definition onto you, you're welcome. I like that. I'm curious. Yeah.

Communications plus persistence.

Patience. But yeah, it's patience, because growth is a process. And it's persistence, because growth is a process. And so when we come into this idea of the promise, I'm wondering, I'm wondering, you know, you talked about forgiveness, I'd love to hear you talk a little bit about a powerful word called grace, you know, we have a lot of mental health things that are going on in our world, and a lot of it a lot of us are writing stories about ourselves and whatnot. And be curious to hear your, your thoughts on the word grace, and, and where does Grace come in to your life in regards to yourself, you know, we can go back to when those moments where you walk, offstage, take off the Elton John glasses, or the Ricky Martin makeup, and all of a sudden, you were, you know, ugly, quote, unquote, ugly in your eyes again. Or maybe it was, you know, maybe it was a moment where, you know, you didn't get a part that you thought you would get, and you're like, Well, I'm stupid. I'm not qualified. I'm this and whatever. Or, you know, I'm curious to hear your thoughts about that word, and how it fits into what you talk about.

Wow, I have I have not been asked that question. And that's a great one. When it comes to grace, I would say, as, as we feel about ourselves, is how we will act. And what we will do, we can put on a mask. But we need to intrinsically begin to somehow believe that we do have something more I'll tell you when the pandemic hit and lost all my gigs. And then everyone's saying, You're a non essential worker. And I felt that I was like, Maybe I am an essential in everything. This is where Grace happened for me, James, and maybe this will help someone who's listening or watching. I decided to just walk and work. So when I wasn't working at trying to go virtual for options of audiences to have a virtual speaker. Instead, I went walking, I think I walked anywhere from six to 10 miles per day. And it was March, which in Utah is like March in Minnesota, freezing to death. And so I started walking, I would walk with my headphones in and I would speak into my voice memo recorder on my phone. I wouldn't be listening to music usually. Maybe I'd call my mom and talk to her. But Grace came into play one night when I was walking and I just kept walking through my neighborhood. So So, so far that I didn't even notice because I'd go at night after I'd worked for 18 hours that day, I'd usually get up at four in the morning, work all day until 10 or 11 at night, and then I'd go on to eight to 10 mile walk. And so I that's what I did during the pandemic, just to survive mentally and emotionally. As I'm walking in, I'm talking to myself trying to make it so that I can believe that I am essential to some buddy to some thing. As I'm walking, I'm talking and eventually I realized I was at the end of my city. I didn't know how long I had walked, but I, I literally was outside of the city limits. And I'm like, where am I? Oh, no. And

runs past you. Exactly.

Want to join me? And so I, I turn around, I start walking back and all of a sudden I hear a dog barking. And I'm looking around, I'm like, what is the dog? What is the dog doing out here? Because there was nothing except for a couple of foundations of homes at the end of our city. And I all of a sudden as I'm hearing this dog bark, and I'm like, that's not a normal bark. It's some craziness. And I'm feeling bad about myself that I have nothing to offer the world. I walk over and I look down and foundation and newly poured foundation. It was firm. The dog was just stuck down there. Not trapped in the summit, but just it was too deep for the dog to jump out. And I go, Hey, are you stuck? And he goes, Yes. Help me. You know, he's just barking at me. And so I'm like, Hey, let me help you out. James. I had my voice memo recording this conversation. I climb into the window. Well, I climbed down the dog leaps up to me it's a little pug. You know, pugs legs are so small, leaps up, and I go, Oh, hey, buddy. Here you go. And I shoved him up out of the window. Well, which was taller than me. It was like seven foot deep window. Well, I climb out of the window. Well, assuming the dog has just run back home. Instead, he's waiting for me. And he just starts licking me and hugging me. And I was like, I guess I'm essential. Like, yeah, to that little dog. And that is just totally like the starfish story. I know that I was gonna tell you what, that was my own original starfish was this pug offering me grace. And I believe that the universe God, you name it. The moment that I realized I still can do something, even if it's just for this pug that I'll never see again. And it was in that moment that I was like, I can offer myself some extra Grace today that I can still serve. I can still look around, I can still take an iPod out or an air pod out. And listen, look around. serve somebody. Help someone not be so worried about me. And that's where grace comes in. Is when we serve we we hear we appreciate others. And we pay attention.

Whoa, let's go my guy. Let's go out here. Same in pod pugs lives. While Malin points this is it y'all? This is a moment. Jason what a what a crazy story. I'm so sorry. I mean, this is this is not the point of that. But I got to know like what did the pug just run home eventually? Was there a number on the collar of the park? Okay, what's going on with the park here? Jason?

hugs me while I'm climbing out why? You know, dusting myself off he goes. Thank you. Thank you. And he like pod and tried to hug me and I go, Oh, hey, good job. And then all of a sudden he just went, Oh, but he ran off. And I just stood there like, Well, that was amazing. What was that all about? Oh, my gosh. And I don't know what happened to that. Maybe cross the street. It's dead. I don't know. But I'm just

jumping to the next foundation.

But I'll tell you, man, that was an extraordinary moment for me because I came back late that night. I sat there and I thought, well, I don't know if my family needs me. I don't know if my parents need me. I don't know if the world needs me anymore. But I guess that pug needed me so maybe I should just be present to who needs me? And then I'll I can be essential and that's how I offered myself some grace.

Yeah. That's beautiful. Grace is a grace is one of those words. That is something that I suggest to a lot of other people. But don't always do myself, right. Like that's like I'm a pharmacist like You should, you should have grace give yourself grace. And then but what comes to me like you want something, I pass out the drugs around here pal. Okay? I don't take and, and that's, that's frequently a word that I've tried to build a better relationship with and doing it and counseling as I learned more about who I am and the perfectionist that is within me, according to my counselor, asked by my good perfectionist, and she can appreciate that. Still, it is still the thing that evades me some days. And so I really appreciate you sharing that, that I appreciate you sharing that story, especially just to where we are, the grace that we have for ourselves is is a powerful, it's a powerful thing. Because in order to in order to live that promise in order to let yourself write the story, or rewrite the story that this is the moment for you to use your your, your your special move, and stuff like that. Like that's, that's also it's a forgiveness. It's the grace that like it's okay, that hasn't happened yet. So,

I love that James good, no good, good way of saying it. And you know, that's why I think we enjoy coaching people too. I mean, as much as I like speaking, it's interesting to coach somebody and see them fail at the things we just talked about. And then I'm like, Why are you so hard on yourself? And then I'm like, why am I so hard on myself? So you're totally right, that's

what am I?

Dude, you're spot on with that. And that's true. That is how I, how I discuss it with the people I coach. In fact, when I'm coaching somebody who's trying to be a better speaker, or, you know, they're they're trying to figure out their legacy, because I talk about promised legacy projects with CEOs that are have just retired and they're trying to figure out what's next or somebody wants to become a speaker and I'm like, Hey, forgive yourself. It's okay. Have some grace for yourself. And then I'm like, What am I doing, man? So yeah, it's helpful to be able to then say to that person, hey, you know what? I struggle with that, too. So let's get through it together. Come on. Let's cheer each other on.

Yeah. Let's go for a walk together. My neighborhood. Yeah, let's go find a dog. Let's find your plug.

We get t shirts. Jason find your pug. It's gonna be great. Jason, it has been such a pleasure to talk with you to learn with you to laugh with you. And to love with you. I really appreciate you brother thank you so much for for sliding into the diner. Do me a favor, man. Do me a favor. Let the people know where where can they stay in touch with you? You know,

I'm really on LinkedIn the most I would say and Facebook a little bit and Instagram and Twitter and YouTube. And I'm just messing dude, I I prefer LinkedIn. And then, and then, of course, Jason Hewlett calm. And so yeah, I mean, that's the place. But I think are you and I are we interact mostly on LinkedIn. Yeah. Would that be the place? Or what are you LinkedIn? Instagram,

Instagram is where we also we've been known to slide knew each other's DMS. That's it?

Yeah, ma'am. I just know this. The social media has two words. And most people focus on the second one. I'm focused on the first one. I think the sociality that has been lost through the pandemic, is the opportunity to have conversations like this with people that we really respect and admire. That's why I like being here with you right now. And that's what's fun about having a social experience with people we've never met, but we can through social media. And so, you know, whenever I'm on there, I try to connect with people as best as I can. So that's part of my promise.