Ep 078: You Can Balance Success, Amongst The Mess

You ever wonder what success actually means?

How do you get it?

And how do you keep it?

We all want it yet sometimes it feels only some of us get to have it.

Hi, Teresa and Blair here we are to badass entrepreneurs, best selling authors, coaches and business mentors who have had success, built success, questioned our own success and reclaimed it. Let's be real for a hot minute. 2020 has been a roller coaster ride, and many of us a start to wonder if the loser things that made them successful. So we got curious, Ron real about what success is truly about?

Can you put it in a box?

How can you get it?

Can people take it away? Or are you the one with the power?

Does it mean the same to all of us? Or are we the ones that create it?

From PGA golf pros to doctors, CEOs, entrepreneurs and spiritual mentors, we get together to meet with successful people from around the globe to dissect success for vibrant conversations and interviews. Make sure you click the subscribe button on the App Store. Because each week we will drop a new episode to bust through the myths around success and dissect its true meaning.

Hello hello and welcome back to another episode of dissecting success. Today, we're gonna have an interesting conversation. And I believe that this conversation will be landing with a lot of you. And if you have been following Blair, I have for the at least the length of this podcast if you're an avid listener of this podcast, if you're following platform Blair land on our Instagram, or at Teresa Lambert coaching that's more on my Instagram, you might have seen us go through some shit together in this last year. And part of you know, dissecting success is also understanding that we can be successful and a hot fucking mess all at the same time. And we can still show up and bad bitch vibes for launches for our business for our vision for what we want, even when we're having meltdowns and breakdowns and weeping on the floor at lunchtime for half an hour or have to take a nap. And so today, we're going to talk about that vide, like life happens. And sometimes things are going to be messy, and they're going to feel messy. And that is okay. And that is literally where I'm at in my life right now. I shared this on the other podcast, but I'm in the process of separation getting divorced. I'm just actually recording this from one of my friend's homes, who graciously has extended me to stay with her. That's where I went after I left beautiful beautiful Blair's home a few weeks ago now. And yeah, things have sort of been coming up. But I've been moving through my own things, drama, healing, and things that are coming up. And I feel like I'm being a real mess. These days. I go from sad, frustrated, angry, sobbing on the floor to I'm so excited about all that's happening with really cool ideas about how I'm showing up in my business, gratitude for all my amazing clients gratitude for all the friends that have been supporting me. And then also releasing and grieving the emotion and the change in separation and 16 years of my life and trying to put it all back together and understand what does it look like now. So I am fucking moving through a lot when I say a lot. And so I am embracing my messy. And I'm also through this process, I'm showing up more vulnerably and sharing more vulnerably with my clients, with this community with my online community more than I ever have. In fact, I cried on my stories the other day and I I would have sworn to you that up until this month. I would have deleted that for sure. Like it was no way I would have shown you tears on my Instagram because I was way too like way too afraid off showing that much vulnerability. So Blair congratulated me she said, Congratulations for living your life on social media. Something like that. And it made me laugh. So here's here's what we got. This is this is the mass and guess what? I just made 31k in 30 days, and I know it's gonna be a really really big month to students. So like, you can handle a lot and you can be messy and you can create a tremendous amount of momentum and success through all of this.

Whoa. First of all, you are living in duality. And duality is part of messiness. Yeah,

and that's so interesting that you say that because I've been listening to the song. It's a healing song. And one of the things she said is that duality is a is a myth, and it's all one.

Oh, what not, we're gonna have to rerecord some episodes. I know,

because I've been leaning into this duality piece. And you and I talk about that a lot. And as I was listening to it, I was like, yeah, like maybe it's just a matter of detaching meaning from the things that are messy from the things that are you know, because all emotions are emotions, they're not really good or bad. But But obviously, like, I feel like when we experiencing loss in any way, we we make that we attach a meaning to it. And so yes, there is duality, but then it also all belongs. So maybe it's our own interpretation plays that there is duality. But it's all one ality it's all one and it all belongs and it actually allows you to, to receive more abundantly and change your life and your business in ways that open up way more than you ever thought was possible. Because you're allowing yourself the oneness of feeling both

food for thought tea? Well, first of all, thank you for again, I love this like cracked, open, vulnerable version of you this layer that we've peeled back, you know, showing up on social media crying, like I've, I've definitely posted pictures of me crying. I'm like a very loud, ugly crier. So all you would get would be like a bunch of weird snorts and grunts and it's hard to for me to talk and cry. Like, I do everything really loud. You know, I was born lot, but I really appreciate your vulnerability. And it's true. Like, you know, we can it's like, we can balance the mess in success. And, you know, success amongst the mess. And, you know, this conversation really got me thinking and like, I don't have that type of memory, where I remember facts and details super accurately, maybe you can help. But I'm thinking back to when some of the greatest things have been invented, like penicillin, or LSD, or, Yes, you know what I mean? Like, everything was an accident. And like, you know, some of the most piece of beautiful pieces of art like came out of messes. Like, through a mess. I feel like a phoenix rises. In like that, yeah, like just like I have this vision of like, scribbles and messiness on a piece of paper with like, a 3d version, like virtual reality version of like a phoenix rising. And, you know, we have to have these messy moments so we can learn and uplevel and achieve greatness and there's no success without Ness, whether it's personal or professional. You know, in my first book, pulsing through my veins were unreal stories from an entrepreneur II, I was my practice book, I practice writing that book for the book that's out now the global Resilience Project. And it's about all the lessons I learned the hard way so you don't have to and every lesson was very fucking messy. Very messy, but there were some very big lessons learned that are applied to both life and business.

Yeah, I love that you know, one of the things I said to myself that I'm committed to as I'm moving through all this transition that's been in motion for so little bit more than or maybe exactly a month today. Holy crap. I feel like it's exactly a month today. Anyways, I just had a moment there. But like one there was a message in the messy there was always a message in a messy and a

message in the bottle. But in the is like, yeah,

it is. And the other thing was that I said to myself, I'm willing for it to be messy, I'm willing to let it be as messy as it needs to be and something that you just said with this like idea of like the Phoenix Rising and then this idea of stepping into all power. I feel like too as women, this is the feminine flow. This is us allowing to surrender into the process to surrender into the healing to surrender into into whatever we need to surrender it and be in complete flow and connected with where we are emotionally while still showing up in the way that feels good for us because the reality is that how I'm showing up in my business now how I'm showing up for my life, how I'm showing up for my clients, it lights me the fuck up like it lights me up so much like I agree with you like Thank fuck this vulnerable person has come out. Like where has she been bottled up and turned off for so long and now is coming out and I'm like, You know what, like, actually I'm in more flow and more surrender and more trials sharing more openly and unlike you know, what, if you can't handle this level of transparency and authenticity that's okay. I don't I'm not for everyone and I don't want to be and, and the ones that will resonate with my message to ones that will resonate with me allowing me to move through this and share like, I mean, my podcast is coming out. By the time this episode airs, my new podcast will be out diaries of a six figure coach, well, I'm fucking basically sharing what's in my diary y'all. Like literally like, I'm just like, You know what, like, floodgates back and open all tabs on I'm open to receive guidance, clients, impact money, abundance, all the abundance, all the experience, all the things all the support, and in return for all of this receiving, I am giving you the raus realest, fucking most authentic, transparent version that I am. And that's really who I am at my cool.

I love that. I'm so excited for that podcast. It's gonna be so good. I just want to talk about like what I'm in right now. So, I mean, obviously at high level, my personal life has been very messy with my husband almost dying from a heart attack and my miscarriage my father in law dying, my mom dying without dying, bla bla bla, all the death. Don't want to minimize that. But like, I feel like I talked about it almost on every episode. And I don't want to be identified as that. I refuse to but that's just like, yes, my personal life got really messy there. Then I'm talking about my business right now upon recording. Originally, I planned a group coaching cohort, my first group coaching program, empowerment to launch many, many months ago. But death was prevalent in my life. And I couldn't show up the way I wanted to. I also had been working on the global Resilience Project book for three and a half years. I wanted to get that out before my dad died in February. It didn't. We had some team issues, some people issues, some death issues. It was a big project, we've had to you know, we had to change things around and communicate. It was a big project. I planned everything to launch at separate times over a very spread out period of time. And I co authored a chapter and two books, the pursuit 365 Second Edition, also the first edition, and a woman Gone Wild wealth addition. But the way the universe unfolded, was that in a matter of a week, literally in the matter of a Wednesday till Wednesday, and right now it's a Monday upon recording it last Wednesday, I opened the cart to my empowerment program, my chapter in pursuit 365 The book came out and today I am officially launching the global Resilience Project book the ebook I unofficially launched it last week I was excited posted about it became a number one best selling author. So and I'm communicating with 60 Plus authors about helping them get the message out. And I'm going to Las Vegas tomorrow because I'm part of the woman go World Wealth addition book launch in Vegas. So I went from having everything spread out to three books to a co authored one I wrote, and my 90 Day group coaching program for Social Media and Publicity called empowerment launched is launching will launch when you listen to this launched. How am I doing? I don't know check in on me. But like it, I don't like being busy. For me busy is chaotic. And I will never be like if someone's like, oh, you seem really busy. I'm like, oh unfulfilled. I refuse to be busy. I am fucking busy. And it is so chaotic. And there is beauty in this chaos. But it's messy. It's messy. Like I had someone point out some stuff in the book that wasn't right. So on the weekend, I'm dealing with my editor and my designer, hopefully re uploading a new version before the launch. And if not everyone that bought the book, the ebook and wooden edition one with some errors in it. They can email me and I'll give them the updated version like i It's messy and it gets to be messy because I'm only human. We're only human. You know, there's that song. We're only human. And I'm all about imperfect action. Like when's it going to be perfect. I'm, I'm self diagnosed. As a dyslexic. I'm pretty sure I'm dyslexic. I read the same thing over and over again. And I don't notice it. And I brought on a team of people to help me and things were missed. I want to get this book out there. It's a legacy piece. It's a place of inspiration, whether there's a space between a period and a letter or not. The message is there and I'm comfortable in the mess. You know, I'm a creative like my husband tells me I'm messy. I'm like I'm not messy. I'm creative. I'm not dirty. And like there's piles of paper everywhere. I'm a highly I pile. I like putting stuff in bowls and piles but it's within the mess there is the beauty within the mess there is the success. Imperfect Action sometimes is messy. Sometimes you plan and plan and plan and it doesn't unfold the way it is and you need to embrace it. And yes, I hate being busy. I do I hate it. I like that. I don't I don't like packing my day like this. But it's one week. It's one week of my year of 52 weeks, where I'm celebrating huge fucking accomplishments. So I don't mind being busy, especially because I'm going to be in Vegas. And at the end of the month, I am in New York because I'm on a billboard. And it's a really chaotic month. And I know that, but I also am able to know there's a cleanup and space after the mess. And that July and August will be a lot more mellow. I'm not making tons of plans. I'm doing more healing on Vancouver Island with my healing guides. I'm spending a lot more time in the woods and camping and at the lake and reading and writing and tapping into my spiritual self. I know that after the mess, there is the reward.

First of all, congratulations. Congratulations on becoming another Best Selling Author

to your in the book your best. Yes, I Oh. Oh.

Yeah, that's like my messy brain right now. forgetting that I'm in a second, but congratulations on the book. Congratulations on all your launches. Congratulations on the empowerment program is going to be fucking epic. And you know this this episode, when you're listening to it and you still want to hop in, you know, you probably should shout out bland, see if she'll still let you in. If you say I listened to this messy podcast, and now I'm coming in hot and messy. Can I still join, you should reach out to her because it's going to be epic, a really, really epic program and I'm so excited about being able to be a part of it. And also, I'm so excited about everything that's coming. I'm excited that you're going to Vegas into New York. I'm so gutted that I don't have a frickin Passport right now and, and I can crush the party someone be like, I'm coming to Vegas. Because I would totally be buggin I would totally be on a plane. Okay, well,

I guess we're just gonna get more epic shit when you get a passport.

Yeah, exactly. But like, I just think what's so beautiful about all of this. And I feel like, that's going to be the next episode you're listening to, we're going to dive into like, how you can just, you know how you can navigate when there's a lot going on, and how you can sometimes pivot into like some different things. Like we will talk about that. Because I think it's really, really good. But I just want to, like celebrate you for all of this. And also do come out of, you know, your blast off of grief. Like, you know, and like I mean, bland I like we'd laugh about this. But like there should have been I fruit together in our lives and our businesses while continuously up leveling and showing up through all the messiness. And you know, I'm in the thick of it right now. And I like Blair said this earlier, but she, she shared that she like and she obviously shared this all you hear too, that like I'm a different person, I'm a different person that I was a month ago, like I I have levelled so much while hitting the mess. And it feels really good. You know, it feels really good. And sometimes everything ends up happening at one time. And other times we choose to spread things out. Right. So I'm excited for us to talk about that on another on another episode. But this was so juicy. And I feel like for everyone, like, take away from this that like literally like it gets to be messy. And often, you know, I actually think 95% of the time. The only ones who know it's messy is us, because we're in it and we see it all. But everybody outside of us really only sees part of that, right? So they might see Blair going to Vegas, they might see her book launch, they might see her launch of the empowerment program. And then they might be like, Wow, this woman like she does a lot of really cool shit. Like I want to work with her because she handles all of that. And in the meanwhile, flares, like literally in paper because I was there in like 1000 pieces of paper reviewing her book sending messages and me telling her to hire help.

And I hired help.

And she did hire out thank the fuck she had help. But this is the thing, right? Like we see so much than you you don't see. Right so know that even when you're going through the mess. People will only ever see so much of what you're going through because you can only really show them one piece at a time even through social media, right? So whether you're like me and you go to share a message and it was actually I cried from release. I didn't cry from sadness that morning and so many people reached out to me, which made me feel really loved for my community. But that wasn't the point. That's why I cried I just really wanted to, to to show you navigating big things while while also building our businesses because reality is your business isn't just going to tell And often you will not want to turn your business off just because you're going through through big things you will still want to show up for it because it is something that lights you up so much and Blair is just such a you know, beautiful example of, of the resilience and and all that that comes with that so know that messy and success goes really well together, both black and I literally like rapid like making quantum fucking leaps in our businesses we experienced rapid expansion of growth while embracing all the fucking messy that comes with dismantling life grief loss, and launching fucking everything I want. Yeah.

And Theresa, you're fucking epic to just want to toot your horn a little like to to Teresa. I love the changes that have happened in your business world that have been you know, repercussions of other things you've implemented and let go of, and I think anyone to join your programs strategic or even our next cohort of momentum are really fucking lucky to learn from you. So I'm excited to do this messy business with you this messy life. I'm excited to be your business bestie maybe it's like messy, messy.

I don't know, which is besties besties. I

like to be messy with my bestie i Thanks for tuning in everyone. This was a fun episode. So listen, when life gets messy. No, you're about to be a phoenix rising through the ashes through the mess. There's always a light at the end of the messy tunnel. Someone standing there with a broom there's going to be something epic,

bringing the bad pitch wipes all the way back bad pitch but all right, peace

that's a wrap for another episode of dissecting success. enjoyed this episode. Make sure to subscribe to Blair Kaplan, Venables and Theresa Lambert's podcast dissecting success on the App Store.