Ep 086: The Only Way Out Is Through with Bridget Aileen Sicsko

You ever wonder what success actually means? How do you get it? And how do you keep it?

We all want it yet sometimes it feels only some of us get to have it.

Hi, Teresa and Blair here we are to badass entrepreneurs, best selling authors, coaches and business mentors who have had success, built success, questioned our own success and reclaimed it. Let's be real for a hot minute. 2020 has been a roller coaster ride, and many of us a start to wonder if the loser things that made them successful. So we got curious, Ron real about what success is truly about?

Can you put it in a box?

How can you get it?

Can people take it away? Or are you the one with the power?

Does it mean the same to all of us? Or are we the ones that create it?

From PGA golf pros to doctors, CEOs, entrepreneurs and spiritual mentors. We get together to meet with successful people from around the globe to dissect success for vibrant conversations and interviews. Make sure you click the subscribe button on the app store because each week we will drop a new episode to bust through the myths around success and dissect its true meaning.

Hello, hello and welcome back to another fabulous episode of dissecting success. We are so excited I am so so excited to have Bridget here with us today and amazing guests and obviously blends into house too. And this is going to be such a vibrant conversation but before we're diving in, I can't wait to introduce you to this powerhouse. Bridget Aileen Sicsko is the founder of exalted publishing house, a podcast host and visibility coach. She helps successful entrepreneurs stand out and be featured as leaders in the industry by sharing powerful stories, writing best selling books and gaining global recognition. Bridget believes in the power of words, stories and voices to shift our view of reality, our potential and our purpose on the planet. In addition, she considers herself a master community builder and has gathered hundreds of female leaders in her online community mastermind programs, networking events and women's circles. Bridget is also the host of a podcast called she built empires which is amazing. You gotta listen listen, when she interviewed six, seven and eight figure women business owners on the behind the scenes of their path path to success. Bridget has been featured in authority magazine, Women's Business Daily Thrive global, the medium on our v n TV Chicka news news 12 New York on several podcasts. She lives in New Jersey with her husband and her Border Collie Beagle Finn. So fun. And literally, Bridget is one of those people that we had a connection call. And we could have literally talked forever, it was like Soul Sister dropped into my space. And literally, we couldn't like stop we like talked about like, everything in one conversation. And then I had the honor to be on her incredible podcasts and started listening to podcasts, which is awesome. And so bridgid Welcome. I'm so so so excited that you're here and that you and Blair get to have this chat and connection as well.

Thank you so much for having me. I'm so grateful to be here with you, Theresa. And of course to meet you Blair. I'm just excited. Hi.

I love it. It's gonna be so so good. So Bridget, we chat about success on this podcast. I know you chat about the behind the scenes success with with your podcast, podcast guests. As a podcast, podcast clients, I was like that is not what we call it, girls camps. And so I am dying to know from you, because you've accomplished a lot and I always find that juicy. What does success mean to you? Let's start

success. Yeah, I love this topic. And obviously we can dive deeper into it. But Success to me is very much individual. I've never been a person who likes listening to outside people to tell me what to do, whether it was my parents, schooling, the education system, society media, it wasn't for me. So to me, success is an individualized journey. And for me, it looks like richness and relationship in my health in my financial civilities in my conversations my community around me and like actually enjoying the life that I live because you know, you shared all the titles and all the things but I like to be in my garden. I like to go for walks with my dog. I like to run trail runs with my husband, like I want to enjoy my life and to me. I get to have it all and we all get to have it all in whatever way it looks. Like teach us.

So good. Okay, I like that. Let's talk about that for a sec. So like having it all of what that looks like to in the beginning of your business journey? What was success to you? And how has that changed to where it is now?

Yeah, that's a great question. So I grew up with entrepreneurial parents, my dad has been an entrepreneur for my entire life and very successful entrepreneur at that. So when I looked at success being modeled, to me, it looked like money, but it also looked like not having a lot of time and health suffering. So when I started my business, the money wasn't quite there right away, of course, that took time and lots of intention, and work to build and grow. But I did have health and time. So it's really has shifted into how can I balance? How can I find this delicate dance as I like to call it? And let's be honest, sometimes I still feel a little bit off, you know, it's like, even though we have this intention of wanting to have the success and whatever way it looks like to us, we still have, we're human, we still have so many moments in life where it doesn't look exactly like that. And those are the opportunities to kind of come back, pivot, reevaluate, refocus. So when I started the business, it looked like me having a lot of time to figure it all out, to sit with myself. And I was living at home with my parents. So I had a lot of time on my hand to do whatever it was I wanted.

It's like time is the new currency, time and health. Like it used to be money. Like, it's so interesting that you share that. So thank you. Like my dad was briefly an honorable he was an entrepreneur, but he got sick. But I was raised around a lot of entrepreneurs, my mom had a job. But my aunts and uncles and grandparents, very entrepreneurial. And I think there was this shift, where, you know, money was the ideal, like, brought like the love barometer, but like, the amount of money you had was what success was the size of your house, the type of car, you had the badge of honor of busy. And now it's completely shifted. And law. Yeah, like success can be a certain amount of money. But it's not about filling all of your time with money making activities, or even looking at like, the health is, like working on your health is a money making activity. You know, having free time isn't money making activity, like treason, I talked about this, like in stillness we create, but in stillness, we make money and we heal. And, you know, I think that's really cool that you, you know, you've done that, like, What's it like having those conversations with the entrepreneurs and your family? If you're doing it differently than them? Yeah, I've

been really lucky that my parents have really fostered an open communication with whatever it was that I wanted to do. My brother and sister and I are all vastly different. You know, one is works at Google did that path wanted to do that one is an actress and singer wanted to do that. So we've had the creative support the entire time. And I'm so grateful to say that when I left my job in New York City, I was working in sales and advertising, there was never a doubt in my parents conversation with me that said, you, what are you doing? You're not going to make money? What about the 401k? So I'm very blessed to have had that support. And I'll give the comparison of my husband's family where for someone to leave the nine to five and go out on their own and be the entrepreneur, there's a lot of fear, there's a lot of well, how are you going to have, you know, financial stability? What about health care, all of these types of things. So I will say, for me, personally, I've been very, very lucky to not have to have some of those hard conversations with my parents, necessarily.

Yeah, I feel like that is a powerful, you know, support system for you, it sounds like to have this openness and to have this relationship with your parents. And I feel like that's very entrepreneurial, often too. Because really, entrepreneurship is kind of about embracing different and creating you, right, so I feel like that approach for them. Like, it's like, oh, well, that makes complete sense. Like, of course, you're doing it your way, of course, you're paving the way forward, right? Like, I could see them being really proud of you branching out this way and building your business and taking this path of entrepreneurship, instead of you know, seeking some of the other things and you're right, like there is a lot of uncertainty with entrepreneurship and there's a lot of things that we really are in charge of creating our own economy our own safety and security for how we show up in our businesses and and that within itself in no I feel like it's such a big big piece off of business like yeah, there's just systems yeah, there's no making money yet there was that but all these activities on ultimately what creates the safety in your business. And so I'm really curious how you beyond the relationship of your parents really are able to create a sense of safety and security within your business and pursue this path while maintaining space in your calendar and time to do the gardening. I saw your big veggies the other day, like you posted something on, I think it was your Facebook and it was like this huge vegetable. And I was like, this is like, how do you do it? You know, what are some of the practices that you might be doing? And what are some of the pieces that people could be looking at that they might be not thinking off right now?

Yeah, you know, it's taken years to get to this point where things feel stable. I'm not. Clients are coming. I have great relationships, great referrals, things are in place. I know what it is I do I know what it is that I offer, but it's taken time to get there. So I always bring it back to being an athlete and bringing this athlete mentality into business. Like I'm not about rainbows and daisies, I like hard work. You know, there's a little bit of hustle that goes into my life. And there's a whole lot of spiritualist as well, right. I'm chanting mantra while I'm also doing the work. So for me, I take this athlete mentality of dreaming big, starting small and consistently showing up even when you don't want to, right so many, many years ago, I started recording videos and doing these trainings in a group for spiritual entrepreneurs. And now I'd probably recorded over 200 plus trainings, right, because it's just consistency, consistency, consistency in this thing, these builds over time, and it's not sexy, maybe in the moment when no one's listening, or no one's watching, or you don't have the clients that are all there. But we have to continue to hold this momentum. So I utilize a lot of my spiritual practices like chanting mantra, like visualization, like physical Kundalini Yoga, to hold my vision, and then to continuously show up in the actual work, things that aren't so sexy, and the probably not looking on Instagram, like they're not setting up my Kajabi back end or honey book, or, you know, zoom or Calendly or all these things, but it's part of it.

Oh, my God, that is so good. I just have to like laugh so much. Because it's so true. There's a lot of unsexy work that happens. And I really resonate with with what you what you said about like dreaming big and starting small and taking consistent action every single day, like showing up for all the things and it's the it's the spiritual, really all those spiritual practices that allow you to have the right mindset and also be able to practice some of the discipline to get the consistency. And I feel like that's such a such a huge piece. I know for me, like I had some really big downloads coming in around the fact that business is spiritual. And so much of what I do with my clients is actually helping them with the mindset and the energetics. While I do strategy in my sleep, like like that is the thing because this, this strategy and the tangibles are actually quite simple. But it's the those times like you said, like chanting the mantras doing the Kundalini Yoga, like you would ever do spiritual practices, or that you have, those are the ones that actually allow you to have the energetic capacity, and to show up with the confidence that it takes in your business to be able to sell your program, sell your services have the conversations, I mean, you know, I know Blair helps people really, you know, get visibility and same thing like to be able to do that. You have to be energetically in the right space. And then there's all the technical stuff and all the business stuff that supports that. But one can really go without the other. So I love that you're bringing this up, because that is I think such a critical, critical piece. And like I mean, last week, I had to pull back like I literally like I had a very tough week last week. And I needed to step back from my social media, I needed to step back and regroup like I needed to move through some stuff. And it was doing the inner work and going into my spiritual practice, and letting go off some of the rock related stuff that got me through that week, which ultimately caused a whole bunch of like things that are going to be really bugging good for me in business.

Well, it's kind of like you got to hit that bottom before you can start climbing back up right and then figuring out what you need to do. And often like while going through like hard times we're in survival mode or living in the masculine energy, right? And that's what happens and then we sometimes have to crumble before we put ourselves back together. And I think as entrepreneurs our businesses are quite intertwined with us right unless you own like a Subway franchise. But like, us three, right? I mean, and I love subway, like, if you own franchise amazing, but I think if you, you know, sometimes we have to do that crumble and I know I've had to hit some serious personal stuff before I've begun my spiritual awakening. And everything that I'm doing to take care of myself is positively impacting my business. And, you know, I was I mean, I know you're saying like, as we were recording, Bridget's thundering, it's actually a perfect analogy, like without the like, there's no rainbows without the rain. Is that the thing? I don't know.

I don't know what the thing is. But I think there's so much power in the darkness and in the challenges. And, you know, just on Saturday, my husband and I did a just six mile trail run, and it was hot, and it was buggy. And there was mosquitoes attacking us as we were doing it. And that's where I find myself. Like, in those moments, it's like, how can I show up with a little bit more grace and patience, as I'm through the challenge. And I just, I want people to acknowledge and realize that we can have it all but as a human. And as a business owner, we're going to have a range of experiences that go beyond just Instagram perfection and just being positive all the time. Like, I like to bring a real deal yesterday morning, I bawled my eyes out, because I deleted something I'd worked on for three hours, you know, we've all been there.

This struggle is real. This is the worst. Like I saw a social media expert, and like Teres often will be like, I just uploaded a whole bunch of reels, and they disappeared, and only control what you can control. Right? Like that trail run. It's like, did you bring bug spray? That's what you could have controlled or like sitting at home, but it's like, what do you do? Is the glass half empty? Or is it half full? Like deleting stuff, like, every once in a while, I let my guard down and something will disappear or I miss something important and like it happens. Right? Like we're human.

So human, so human, I love that we can have these types of conversations because I think it shows people what is possible we can have these wildly successful businesses and beautiful lives and still have the polarity of being absolutely human crying our eyes out after we delete something or delete the reels or have a hard conversation or something happens in our personal life and I'm about it all because I think it does a disservice to people who desire to have a business and have it look a certain way because they perceive it to be something else. I want people to see the real deal.

I feel like to like as you're just saying that like what like downloads for me as well. Is this like two things? One this question like when I do these workouts called the class I don't know if any of you not know them, but it's like meditation, cardio, yoga dance, but I mean, I don't even know but like, it is it is like my thing I love it. And one of the questions that one of the teachers keeps like asking and the trainings is like what do you do when it gets uncomfortable? What do you do when the going gets tough? What do you do when you feel like it's not working? And and that is exactly that for me? You know, in these moments? We have a choice right? And the reality is that it's always just a moment it's that moment where you cry because you're losing three hours of work and it's a big freaking deal like I and I get so frosted I get so frustrated when the whole meals things like it just drives me nuts and and I'm like okay, I let it go now right or like sitting in the sitting in the discomfort too you know so I always

tell you when that happens

it's just social media it's just social media. Yeah. Which is like the best thing that's like my in my head but then I like I just tell them that she writes to me which just makes but that is it but you know what, like it's sitting in the shit sometimes it's sitting in the density and and you know, like for everybody who's been on this podcast listening like bland I talked about this a lot because bland I collectively have been moving for all the shifts in the last like, I feel like year and a half like and it's just sort of gone on and now I'm going through this process of like separation and divorce and that's caused all sorts of things to get washed up and and learning to sit in the discomfort and learning to be able to feel the discomfort to feel the emotion and to honor your sadness and your anger and your frustration and you know, you being pissed off because you lost three hours of work and then sad and then like moving through the whole like cycle that you You're through, and still, at the end of it, take a breath and show the fuck up again. You know, like, it's almost like that. That is the thing. So I love that you make this point of saying, you know, can we move through it with more grace and patience? Can we? Can we do it? Can we keep going? Or can we keep running? Even when there was bugs, even when the weather's not great? Even when the trail is shady? Like, can we still do it? Can we still persevere? Because we know ultimately, it will lead us out of the dents out of the dark out of the shadow back into the light and will be so happy we kept running like we still happy we keep going, right?

Absolutely, there's a incredible in yoga, there's these five sutras or these five, basically ideals of the Age of Aquarius, and one of them is there's a way through every block. And it kind of leads into one of my favorite mantras, which is the only way out is through, right. So we have to experience these things, we have to feel whatever it is, and the rain is just pouring down. So like we are meant to just feel it all, transmute it, move through. And once we move through, we noticed that it just isn't that big of a deal. And there's a perspective shift something changes in that process. And it's beautiful, and challenging and uncomfortable and everything.

I think that's so good now, okay, so with your business with what you do? How, like, I know you do a lot of work like for yourself, but do you like bring any of this to your clients? Like how does that work? How do people work with you? Like, I'm very like curious with how the duality exists?

Yes, for me, it's not separate. For me, it's very much a part of it. And to give you an example of what this could look like is, a couple of years ago, I was helping women business owners use live video in their businesses to sell their programs. And of course, anytime we go to speak, there's a lot of shit that comes up, especially as women who might be in a somewhat of a spiritual space is the identity of like the healer or the witch, and speaking and using our voice tends to bring up a lot of stuff. So that challenge wasn't just about, you know, selling on social, it was about how can we move through some of our own shit that comes up before we go to speak and use our voice. And then the same thing happens when a book is about to be released to the world. It's that same like birthing process that's highly uncomfortable. And the way I look at this is yes, of course, from the strategy of how can we do this? How can we make this most effective book launch? Who are we going to reach? You know, what are you going to sell blah, blah, blah? And then there's also how are you nurturing and taking care of yourself as you go through this birth canal? How are you expanding the threshold of your capacity? Like, what are you doing to to honor yourself in that process, because every single area that I tend to help people in, it relates to using our voices and being seen, and we all have a lot, a lot that relates to that on the personal level. So it's so much of the probably similarly to the work that you do Blair, and I know, Teresa, it's the mindset, but it's also the strategy and they're not separate at all.

It's funny, because you can't see this people in the podcast land, but like Theresa, and I take turns going off mute. So we kind of know and it's like, we kind of tried to make eye contact to see who wants to talk. We just did the whole, like, who's gonna do it? I think that's really important to know. Because like, it's not separate. And I think this is applicable if you have a job or you're intrapreneur like entrepreneur, like it should be all commingled and intertwined. You know, I love everything that you're saying and I think is so brilliant. You know, before we wrap up, I have a couple couple more things I want to pull out of you. First, if someone wants to work with you, or they want to learn more about you what's the best way they can find this information out?

Sure, you can go on any social media, Facebook, LinkedIn, or Instagram. It's Bridget Aileen Sicsko , or my website's Bridget Aileen, and I love voice notes. So send me a voice note. I'm a big voice person. So send me a voice note.

I love that voice notes. I'm actually getting like into voice notes. I've a business coach. And like my goal is of doing like 10 to 10 like sales messages a day. So like spending time voice messaging people and it's honestly like making such an impact. But also it's like, I don't know, I know I have super chubby thumbs and like I get sloppy with my texting like the keyboards are getting smaller and my thumb's are getting bigger. I'm getting blind or I don't really know I'm a vintage millennial. So all the things are happening, but like I'm just like, finding it a lot easier to send voice notes. Yeah, it is and like, obviously, like, you know, can't do that if you're in a sneaky meeting, but like I'm just like, making time to like lie in the sun and like some boys now it's like it's in my schedule. So I love that. That's great. Send you a voice though. Okay, now the Juicy, juicy grand finale. You What advice do you have for someone who's on their path to success?

First, you have to identify what success means because it's just a blanket statement. So number one, you have to figure out what that means to yourself and remind yourself it's okay if it looks different from everyone around you because it's probably well, the number two, I would invite that person to remember that consistency momentum and daily non negotiables are one of the most unsexy ways to get success.

Oh my god, I love this. I love this so much. Like mixing the sexy or the unsexy with Bridget ASicsko like I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. This was so good. Where did you shift so much magic with us today. And I love how you're really helping your clients to be able to use their voice and put themselves out there, but also give them all the tools that they need to be able to do it in a way that feels really good for them. That allows them to live the sexy life while doing the unsexy work so so good and I actually feel like like we've been hearing the rain and the thunder a little bit in the background for you and and I actually really appreciated it because it's kind of the grounding of it's like it's like nature like spirit like it's like it's come into this like space with us and it feels like a clearing you know it sometimes I feel like that does so this was an epic conversation for Jared, thank you so so much to be on the pot with us. You were amazing. We'll make sure that we'll drop all of your contact information in the show notes so people can send you a voice message. I'm diggin it too. I'm a voice message kinda gal. So send Bridget a voice node connect with her check out what she has to what she has to offer. Check out her podcast she's off them. Thank you so much. This was epic. For another episode dissecting success, and we can't wait to see you next week.

Thank you

that's a wrap for another episode of dissecting success. enjoyed this episode. Make sure to subscribe to black one Venables and Teresa Lambert's podcast dissecting success on the App Store.