Ep 095: Out of Office

You ever wonder what success actually means? How do you get it? And how do you keep it?

We all want it yet sometimes it feels only some of us get to have it.

Hi, Teresa and Blair here we are to badass entrepreneurs, best selling authors, coaches and business mentors who have had success, built success, questioned our own success and reclaimed it. Let's be real for a hot minute. 2020 has been a roller coaster ride, and many of us a start to wonder if the loser things that made them successful. So we got curious, Ron real about what success is truly about?

Can you put it in a box?

How can you get it?

Can people take it away? Or are you the one with the power?

Does it mean the same to all of us? Or are we the ones that create it?

From PGA golf pros to doctors, CEOs, entrepreneurs and spiritual mentors. We get together to meet with successful people from around the globe to dissect success for vibrant conversations and interviews. Make sure you click the subscribe button on the app store because each week we will drop a new episode to bust through the myths around success and dissect its true meaning.

Welcome back to another episode of dissecting success. It's me, Blair Kaplan Venables, and I'm here with the one the only the currently in Argentina, Theresa Lambert. And you know, I am really frickin pumped because you know, by the time you're listening to this, I'm going to be probably deep into a novel lying on the beach on kawaii in Hawaii, because I am going on vacation. In fact, in two hours from now I am officially on vacation. And being an entrepreneur vacations are kind of hard. Like, you know, there's that joke saying that we quit our nine to five, so we can work 24/7. And that can be very true. And 15 years ago, when I started my business, I wanted to run a business from my laptop. So I can be in Winnipeg or traveling or Vancouver or wherever I was going to be and be able to do my work. And this is before we knew what remote work was this is before zoom. This is before all that but I knew that traveling was my biggest thing. And I wouldn't want it to take my work on the road with me. But then what happened was I was going on all these trips, but never really having time off. And it's very easy, especially when you're in the digital space to not have those boundaries or to blur boundaries or just check that one email or open that laptop, you know, in front of the TV one night while relaxing. And four years ago, October four years ago, my husband had a heart attack and quadruple bypass surgery I lied that's that I meant three years ago, three years ago, October, my husband had a heart attack and quadruple bypass surgery. And we were talking about when he's recovered, we need to go on a proper vacation. Except when he was recovered, it was COVID. And then we had the miscarriage and lost his dad and lost my mom lost my dad we move cities he didn't have a job and then transfer jobs and has a new job. And you know, I was like back and forth from Winnipeg a lot, a lot. And that's expensive, like it's cheaper to fly to Hawaii than Winnipeg. And it's time it's time right now when you listen to this episode unless you listen to this later than it is. I'm on a proper vacation. And before I talk about what a proper vacation looks like to me, I want to I want to tune in, flip it over to Teresa because you've had your business for the like was it three years now four years now full time I don't even know time has no essence in pandemic but like what does a proper vacation look like to you?

Yeah, going on three years. Isn't that insane? Oh my god loves Wow. To take a moment that time has definitely no. Like I don't know, time is like a mind construct I believe but vacation what is a real vacation? You know, this is such a, I think an important thing to talk about. Because when we love what we do, it's so easy to tell ourselves that being always switched on and always checking in with our communities and sharing and doing is just part of who we are. And I appreciate that and I agree with that to some extent. But I do think that there's something to be said about really taking taking up space and a think it comes down to you having clear boundaries, having great communication skills. and being able to hold yourself to the standard you set for your vacation. So the thing is, what do you want out of your vacation? Right? I think this is really something to think about. And I think that this is where it really comes down to defining what you want it to be like for you. You know, what are the things that you might still do? If any? And what are the things that you're like, No, I'm not opening my email, I'm not, you know, doing this, I'm not doing that. And I think it really comes down to organizing yourself really well and holding your boundaries. And I've experienced that, you know, with my business now, but also, I remember, months of preparation, that I would have to take a real vacation when I was still managing a large boutique property. So in order for me to actually not check my emails every day, I would have to be so prepared, so prepared to be able to do it. And what I also started doing was giving myself an extra day, coming back on extra two days coming back on vacation, so that those days, I could spend just catching up on everything that essentially I quote unquote, missed while being off and also just wading through stupendous amounts of emails, which is such a time cold to so I think that so many different approaches here, but I do believe that we have created and continue to create a culture where the always on is just part of it. And for our mental health and our well being and our sanity. I really believe that's not great. Like I really think that we have to sort of revive the script. And it's funny because now that I'm here and like runas iris and I'm in a different culture like South American culture, and like one thing that's been really interesting being here is that like, I go out and I meet with people and my phone stays in the bag. My like, I don't take my phone out nearly as often as I would at home and like I have like we have conversations and like people don't have their phones on the tables even like literally like people have conversations people go out like it's it's almost seems like it's a little bit behind the times. But then you know, like when you think that but no, that's even a bad thing to say.

But I mean some people like forward thinking because people are actually like when you're in person you're in person.

Yeah, like people actually like when I meet with you I meet with you it is forward thinking when I meet with you I meet with you. And that's been really cool. So I have actually been off my phone more than I have in I can't even remember probably since I've had a phone so that's been a really cool experience for me and it's allowed me to continue to be more in a moment and also with that I've been taking up more space and more time to just have experiences and to and it's challenged my belief around you know my successful been I spent so much time not working like I was really it's been an interesting like this week particularly i i felt challenged a little bit on claiming more space and being off more and all these things

I love that I think that's good we don't we're not meant to work all the time. Like Shane almost dying my parents dying like showed me like there's more to life than just working Yeah, you can really love your work but like do other things too. You don't need to work all the time and is working escape like what are you escaping? And so my business is 14 and a half years old, or like just turned 14 Next year I'll be 15 and four years ago, a year before Shane's heart attack was the first time I went on a vacation without my laptop. This is going to be the second vacation I literally went to my schedule deleted everything clear. completely clear. I've never seen that too. I turned my auto of Office on. I didn't make it some big fluffy butts in case of emergency. It's literally like I am out of the office and on vacation I will be back October 25 It's not an emergency like it's not if you know like if someone if it's something very very urgent I expect a phone call. I scheduled a bunch of social media content I'm back on HootSuite HootSuite is one of my favorite tools. I got really mad at them and deleted my account. Because I was paying $12 a month, and then they bumped me up to like 75. I was grandfathered in. But then they changed things. And I got mad because like it was very like, to me, not an integral move, but Hootsuite to me does the best for what I need, scheduling software to do. So I'm back on HootSuite, and I scheduled a whole bunch of content out and some of it is even like, hey, while you read this, I'm on vacation. And this is scheduled, because I want to show that you can actually still be planting seeds on social media and be off, you know I am, because I'm leaving my computer at home. I'm actually bringing a second phone with me that is going to because I have a couple phones, one of them is actually going to be just used as a camera. So when I'm out and about, I'm going to only have that phone with me. And I don't know if I'm going to post in real time or just take photos and posts when I'm back. I'll probably post a photo once I get there. Because like, I'm really excited to go. But I'm going to try and be mostly off social media like almost like a digital detox like I need it mentally I need it for my creativity to regenerate. I need it because I didn't take proper time off after my mom or dad died. And you know, it's been a really hectic three years with, you know, moving in COVID and all the death and almost death and stress and all that stuff that I'm like, what do I really need. And what I need is to be present, I'm you know, I'm buying books, like I have an iPad that I read magazines on but I need a break from the screen. Like, I'm gonna bring some actual books with me and some actual magazines with me. And I want to know, nothing. I don't want to know what time it is. I don't want to know what day it is I want to just do what I want to do when I want to do it. See how I feel. go for walks, do yoga, stretch, hike, stare at the ocean float in the pool hot tub, you know, eat coconut II, I hate tuna. You know, just roll with it and see what happens. Like I might do one I might organize one like tour like I kinda want to do a helicopter tour. I've never been in a helicopter before. And like, the island we're going to is where Jurassic Park was filmed. So I think that could be really cool. But only if we feel like it. And you know, I'm going to be gone for seven days. I'm taking a day off right when I'm taking two days off. When I get back. I get back a Saturday, I'll have Sunday and Monday off just so I can catch up. But I think, you know, sometimes we don't have the luxury to take seven days off. And that's okay, what we can you what can you do for a day or two days? Can you disconnect? Can you give yourself what you need? Right? Like, can you go for drinks and dinner with your friends for four hours and not pull your phone onto your bag like Theresa. We don't need to be connected all the time. We don't. And I'm the social media expert like you don't need to be on social media all the time, or you don't need to respond to an email. As soon as that comes into your inbox. You don't need to answer that text message right away. Unless it's a super urgent text message. You don't need to respond. You don't need to call someone back right away. If they leave you a voicemail, there's a missed call, like you are actually in control. And it's about setting expectations. I've let my clients know that I'm going to be out of office and I will not be working. I've had some deadlines I did make because I've been sick for three weeks with an ear infection. I went from one year to the other and like I just am not feeling awesome. My antibiotics are slowly kicking in. So I bumped deadlines, because we can.

Yeah, I think this is so important for everybody to hear. And I also believe that why there's so many things I want to respond to of everything that you just said. But I think the most important thing is you do not need to be on all the time. And the more of us can model that the better for all of us because we're not ever going to get past this hustle and always on culture and like we're never gonna break past this stigma that as entrepreneurs, or as successful quote unquote, people, we have to be connected all the time. If we all continue to do the same thing. And we are so disconnected actually, from the moment when we'll always thinking about our phones thinking about like even social media. I mean, it is an addiction. Like I have literally felt like I am on a detox constantly because I am not on my phone nearly enough as much as I was and I'm like wow, like that is like very different. Like I like you know like literally like different but nice right like it's nice. Different but nice different but nice. Listen, I yeah, like I even like a few times like I went out and I was like okay, like I gotta like take some like I was like I want to take like some photos and videos because it was It's so cool to have this experience. And I was like, I want to capture this because it's epic. But I like actually intentionally was like, Okay, let's get a video. And then like, I was like, Okay, that's it, you know, rather than having that phone out all the time or checking my phone like, and I think that that is so, so important. And I've definitely been. Yeah, looking at my own shit, you know, around that like, even yesterday, like I was feeling a little bit off, I had an allergic reaction to something. Anyways, long story short, like, I was feeling the best in the last 24 hours and even today, and I didn't end up post posting yesterday, I haven't posted anything yet. Today, it's 219. I haven't even put a story up yet, which is unusual for me. And I'm like, so be it. You know, so be it. I'm going on an adventure tomorrow into the jungle. Up north, I'm taking a plane two hours. And I'm super, super excited about that. And I'm probably going to take like, I'm probably going to make a little bit of a story out of it of like going into the jungle because it's really cool. And I'm excited. And I'm going by myself. And sometimes for me, it's a form of connecting when I really feel called to. And other times, I just want to have an experience on my own. And I don't need to take the world with me every time. And I can share with it often. But I think that that's been a real learning thing for me. For sure. A huge learning.

I love this. First of all we're going to be am I going to the jungle I don't even know is the island of kawaii a jungle. I love that you and I are going to be like in tropical, really cool vague, like spots together. Like I am really excited to go waterfowl hunting and that's exactly what you're doing. And, you know, oh my gosh, it's so good.

I'm going to some gigantic waterfalls, and I was looking at the weather forecast. And apparently, it is going to be very rainy, and that rain forest. So I'm using it like some epic rainfall. And that means those waterfalls are going to be huge

pumping, they're going to be pumping.

I'm paying.

I love it. And so well, I just want to point out what you said, because I know a lot of actually social media experts and people do this is they document like they they document their trips, like they still take photos and videos like they do what I'm doing, they turn their camera, their phone into a camera. And then they post when they're back. They don't post it in real time. And often I actually don't post in real time either. I mean, I do but not the most the majority of time I don't because sometimes I want to just be in that moment. And for me being in that moment is taking pictures. Like for me, it's a creative art form. I love taking photos, but not having to edit and photo, like edit them and everything right away. And I do that maybe when I'm back and relaxing. But I think that's really cool. So I just want to invite everyone to look at their calendar, block off time for a vacation, whether it is an afternoon, a weekend, a week, a month, I am committing to myself to be more proactive with my vacations. For example, this summer, I hardly took real time off, I'm going to actually block off time in my calendar, where I'm actually off the same type of off that I'm doing right now. And I'm going to look at in the spring when I'm going to do that. And I'm going to proactively pick time in my calendar when I'm off. And that time can move around and whatnot like I am in control. But this way, I know that those times I won't book meetings and won't book clients. And then if I do decide or you do decide you want time off, you move stuff around. You can move meetings, you can cancel meetings, you can move recordings, you can you are in control of your schedule.

Yeah, 100%. And I think the other thing too, you know, when you said that, you can schedule things, I have not used my scheduling tool for social media, and so long, which means I've been doing everything in real time, to your point. And the last week, I've really been like, Screw this, like, I'm gonna get like 30 days of content ready. And then it's so nice to know that something's already scheduled. Something's already going out. And then if I feel inspired, to go live or to jump on or do something else, I can do that. Whether that's on vacation or not. But I really think that we can be more proactive, generally. Give yourself your weekends. If you want to take a vacation, take the bloody vacation, you deserve a vacation, you deserve time off and and again, like just communicated, hey, I will be away like when I am like I'm going to be at the retreat again, in Costa Rica, and for that week, I am not going to be working. I'm going to be off. And you know, you can block time and take that time and take that space because honestly, life's too bloody short. It really is. And if you're taking time off, you'll be better. You'll show up better for yourself. You show up better for your clients, you have more energy like you have more creativity and I'm a content creator at hearts Like I'm a true content creator, like it doesn't matter where I go, I've to kind of help it. I want to like capture footage and stuff. There's something really beautiful about telling your story in hindsight. So don't think you always have to tell things right in the moment it happens. You get to tell it when it's a convenient time for you to delegates. And that's it. Right. That's it. Literally, that's it.

So, take a vacation. And thank you for tuning in to another episode of dissecting success. Theresa and I are going to be out of office. Next week, you're going to catch a replay of one of our favorite episodes. And I will talk to you guys soon. Peace