Ep 097: Freedom to Play

You ever wonder what success actually means?

How do you get it?

And how do you keep it?

We all want it yet sometimes it feels only some of us get to have it.

Hi, Theresa and Blair here we are to badass entrepreneurs, best selling authors, coaches and business mentors who have had success, built success, questioned our own success and reclaimed it. Let's be real for a hot minute. 2020 has been a roller coaster ride, and many of us a start to wonder if the loser things that made them successful. So we got curious, raw real about what success is truly about?

Can you put it in a box?

How can you get it?

Can people take it away? Or are you the one with the power?

Does it mean the same to all of us? Or are we the ones that create it?

From PGA golf pros to doctors, CEOs, entrepreneurs and spiritual mentors. We get together to meet with successful people from around the globe to dissect success for vibrant conversations and interviews. Make sure you click the subscribe button on the app store because each week we will drop a new episode to bust through the myths around success and dissect its true meaning.

Hello, hello and welcome back to another episode of dissecting success. It's me, Blair Kaplan Venables, and I'm here with Theresa Lambert up Teresa Lambert coaching. And we're doing a little bit of a wrap up what what was our month like? So it's Tuesday, November 1, and I can tell you October was fucking amazing. And it had nothing to do with business and everything to do with business. I took my first vacation like proper vacation. In three, four years. I'm talking left my laptop at home set my out of office had no plans. I mean, I had a plan and got on a plane and went to Hawaii with my husband. But I know where to be nothing to do except for be on vacation and holy shit. I feel like I'm reimbursed. I could probably use a couple more weeks, especially after the few years I've had but yes, I took time off in October. And not only that, so other big things happen in my business. But we're gonna take a minute to just talk about vacation. Like I'm good at taking a weekend long weekend day off, you know, digital detox, go camping, turn my phone off. And I don't need to preach this, but you know, my business will be 15 years old.

Like it's 14 and a half and a bit. And in my entire time of being in business. I have only gone on proper vacation. I'm talking like no work, no meetings, leaving my laptop at home twice. No bueno my friends. Because the thing is, I came back and I feel refreshed. I can show up better for my clients. I feel really creative. Like I'm back in a groove like I actually feel happy, which is a nice feeling. And I needed that we all need that. And you know, I got really thinking like we don't need to earn our vacation or deserve a vacation like we should all just be taking them like we need them we don't need to earn it. So I mean before I dive into some of the business stuff I just want to say Hey, it's me Blair fresh from vacation. A lo ha motherfuckers Theresa

I fucking love it is so good October Thank you October October was a by I have an epic social life I've been going out I haven't been I've really become it's really become home for me and like you I have had a lot of freedom to play I've taken up a lot of space and freedom to play to have experiences to have fun to go out to Yeah, just get to know new people have new experiences learn a new language and I was in a VR like once a almost like holding pattern and on my other podcasts diaries of a six figure coach I just did an episode on under the influence talking about how we are influenced by other people and I was really procrastinating on so much stuff in business and I wasn't taking action. I wasn't putting my services out there. I was kind of in hiding to be honest and I had fallen out of my own process. So October has been a month to coming back home to myself to to it's kind of like you I think really taking opsbase and experiences and allowing myself to just be completely out of my usual like rhythm to, to also get creative again to tap in again and you know you and I can't this time, right like a few I feel like it's a few months ago but it was in silence we create and I kind of feel like you going on vacation and me taking up extra space and just doing really different things and, and just saying, You know what, there's only so much going on like, it's fine and like I have done some glide work. And somewhere but I've really just allowed myself to have more more space and to prioritize my experiences and I am very proud to say actually, to your point of that every weekend in October I have actually like not opened my computer I've not on my computer I've not done work I've not been like and when I say work, like I haven't created Like usually I found my

no you're being still so really you're creating like you're offline. So really your brain is online when you're offline, you know? Yeah,

it is my brain is yeah, like I was, I just tuned in I had some cool experiences I went to eat wasu saw some incredible waterfalls like it was epic and, and also I released the shit that was clouding my space and October I released a shit that was clouding my space. And like, boom, the second I did, I started to make decisions, I started to show up differently, I started to fill that mastermind experience, free mastermind experience that 10 entrepreneurs have an opportunity to join. And now applications are coming in things are flowing, I did my first office hours like it was really, really cool to to see how once I let go off other people's ideas of what my process should be like, and the influences I have allowed. And the second I let go, I clicked back into trust. But it needed the space. It needed me claiming the freedom and it needed me to really prioritize play and pleasure and experiences. And I've done that in October. And I'm going to continue to do that. And that is what I'm I'm prioritizing and helping my clients with to is like, let's take up all the space. You don't always need to move. You don't always need to make a decision you don't always need to be on you get to take a vacation, you get to go to who what,

oh, my God, you know, you want to go. I love that. I just have to look at my October because I remember like thinking, well, October is very full. And I just took a look back. And what you're seeing is amazing, because it's true. It's about play and pleasure. And I like to mix business and pleasure. But I've also learned to separate them. And that's what like vacation was because originally my business started. I've been a remote worker. Since the beginning, I didn't know that that was a term that I don't even know if it was a term back then. But I decided like I want a business I could run from my laptop so I can travel because traveling is my favorite thing to do. And so then I've just always, whenever I'd go to Mexico with my mom and sister like whenever I went on vacations I always had work to do. And I wish now that my mum was gone that I had more time with her and that I didn't have to always go and do work and but it is what it is. But I was just looking at my October. And it was so full. I started off the month in Poland and Portugal. I also started off October with an ear infection and I'm ending October with an ear infection like it has not gone away. I've been on antibiotics. It went from one ear to the other kind of feels like I'm underwater. I think I should probably go the doctor because I didn't realize it's been a whole month. So lots of flights, lots of up and down, up and down. So you know. And I was home for a week before I went to Hawaii, but I had some clarity. And I think we've talked about this before but like I I know to listen to my gut when my you know, when something isn't in alignment, my body and my gut tells me and I made the difficult decision to release a client. And this was a client that was taking up a lot of bandwidth, energy, their values were not in line with mine. And it was a six figure client. And yeah, I knew I needed to do it and it took me some time to do it. And on my vacation. My body was just like, yeah, like and it just felt right. I sat with it. I didn't make any impulsive decisions, like I am very impulsive, but I'm getting better at managing that like impulsive reactions, and making sure I'm doing strategic moves. And you know, obviously it can be really scary to release something that big. I had a lot of cool benefits with that client. But in the end, it's not money. It's happy. So it's peace, it's serenity. And what this client needed for me and who this client was and what this client, you know, what this client's values are, don't align with my goals, who I am and the direction I want to go. And it also got me thinking like, wow, okay, I just walked away from, like, I have other clients, and I'm obviously taking on new clients, because there's some space that opened up, you know, and I do clients where I manage, I create strategies, social media, and publicity strategies manager, Social Media and Publicity, I do coaching, I do want offers, I do workshops, I do private coaching, I do group coaching. You know, if you want help with your social media, I'm your girl. I'm a pioneer in this space. And like, yes, please reach out. But I actually reflecting on on the change I made and how brave I am. Because some of the other people that I know that also work with this person, and this client, you know, did reach out to me and share. I'm so proud of you, or jealous, I wish I could do that.

And I thought about it. And this is the second six figure client I've walked away from the first one was because of antiSemitism and glatt gaslighting it was before the pandemic, so no, there was very much uncertainty in the economy. And I, my body said, You can't do this. I knew I couldn't do it, I knew it'd be all right. And this is the same thing with this, like, I do have other clients and I do have other income coming in, I've actually just, I'm finally ready to go back to teaching at BCIT. Like I took some time off, like, amongst the grief for tech. So I'm going to be going back in the winter to teach one class like I do virtually, and absolutely love it. I love teaching. And I just like start started to feel like I'm actually becoming myself, again, are becoming the new version of who I am. And like the layers of the hardshell layer of grief is now kind of being absorbed into my skin. And like I'm able to coexist with the grief. And it's really beautiful. And part of that is removing all the toxic shit from my life. Getting rid of toxic people getting rid of negative negativity, only letting in what I want to. And it was just, you know, obviously being on vacation solidified all that. But I feel lighter, I feel happier. And when I'm happier, I am successful. When I'm happier, I am more creative. You know, getting up moving my body doing things like I'm having trouble going to sleep at night because I have ideas where before all I could do is sleep. So October was just lots of travel and realizations and releasing and welcoming. So very exciting stuff. Oh, and I had a dream on vacation. For a while leading up to this decision to release this client until I knew I was having like nightmares where my mom was re dying or dead. And like that doesn't really happen, I usually have her come visit me. And that's to me indicates something's not in alignment. And I had a dream that my mom was alive and that I was getting ready to publish the second global Resilience Project book. And so I feel ready to start that process to prepare for the second global Resilience Project book. That's just like something really exciting that kind of came out of my vacation and realization.

I love that I love that I love that. October for both of us in a way was about clearing and space, clearing and space. And you know, one of the things that I think is so powerful that we often don't like realize or recognize and something you said about you know, letting go of this big client is that when we are willing to say no, and sacrifice the things that are not in alignment with us and not good for our well being whether they are clients or whether they are other things or whether they are ways of doing things like it doesn't really matter. When we're willing to let go of the big stuff. We really make room and space for the right things to come in. And sometimes that's really scary. Like sometimes like I mean oftentimes as an entrepreneur that's really scary but I think not just as an entrepreneur I think generally as as you know people and when it comes to letting go or walking away from from jobs or or clients or opportunities that are very fruitful for us in terms of the financial mizzima game yeah, the financial gain. Thank you. I appreciate it, the financial gains it gives us. It can be really tricky because it's a very easy thing that we use like money is a very easy thing that we use as a false sense of security and safety. Right? Like, I think that of course, having money makes us feel safe and secure. Right? Having an income coming in makes us feel safe and secure. But I think the real trick is to also seeing, are you really feeling safe and secure? When your well being? is on the line? Like, what price? Are you paying for your perceived safety and security of having the money come in? Versus how you're actually feeling? And, you know, it's, yeah, some people might listen to this and be like, Fuck, I wouldn't like I will sell my soul to have 10 or $15,000 come in a month, like, I don't care. And that is your choice. Like, what I want to say to you is like, honestly, that's your choice, what I have learned, and I feel like you and I share this what we have learned on our journeys is that no client, no job, no, no money in the world is worth you sacrificing your sanity, your mental health, your well being physical well being, it is not worth it. And I think this is something that on this podcast that we have spoken with so many people about from all walks of life, and when you listen back to any episodes, and you listen to what they say, what does success mean to you, and what comes through, not one person has related to success to happiness, that joy, their fulfillment, their contentment, their pleasure, their play their freedom,

back to Money, Money happened

to be a byproduct that is present, when we are actually in a state of being that is really aligned with our wellbeing when our well being is that when we have the space, when we have the capacity when we have the place when we have joy and pleasure, that's also when we have opportunities and business and growing businesses and scaling businesses actually work. So the thing is, that the money truly, that's present in your life gets to be a reflection of your state of being. And it will never make up for the state of being that you're in. So if you're in a shitty place, because of a crappy client, hate to say it, like if you're working with a client that's misaligned, that's draining your energy that you're resenting like, that is not the energy that is not the vibe, not in your business, not if you're working for someone and like, no, like, you might have to make temporary adjustments if you let a big client go. But guess what, you're making massive space for a really cool client to come in. And I really, really believe that and that goes the same when you, you know, when you you get a yes from a client, and then they change their mind, which is something that I have had happen in, you know, end of September, early October, where I had a new client that I believed was starting with and like it was like, I I was like, I was a sadness I'll get and then it ended up changing. And I was like, Okay, I was literally like, okay, you know, I could have like, jumped up and down and whoring an army. But I truly believe that that client will come in, when she is ready to go, when she's she's ready to move. And if she's the right client, she'll come in. And if she's not, then that was meant to happen for me as a lesson and a learning and I'll move on, you know, but it's not the end of the world. And I trust that that made room for whoever is ready to come into my world right now. Mm hmm. Right.

It's about making room. So October was about clearing and making room. So it's going to be really exciting to see what November has in store I know you are going to be leaving where you are and going to a different country. It's your birthday. Yeah. You're doing retreats. That all sorts of exciting things happening. We have our 100th episode coming

up by now I have a free mastermind coming up. How can people get in touch with you Blair if people want support in their social media do you have

Yeah, you know what if you just if you want support in social media, email me Blair @ kaplan.ca If you're an Instagramer I'm at Blair from Blairland. Give me a follow send me a message but email is the best way we can hop on a discovery call. I can learn about you and your business and see how I can help you. What about you T?

I love that. Yeah, like I actually am really excited about this free experience that are offered. It's a 10 day experience and happening at the end of November from the 21st to the fatty F. And it's a free 10 Day mastermind experience that I'm offering 10 entrepreneurs that are ready to move that are ready for something else that want to figure out what's holding them back, what's keeping them stuck at the income level. And we want to support from a mentor CEO and a creator, to help them figure out what the plan is to get them there. And for 10 days, we are literally going to play and we'll play while I'm in Costa Rica. So it's gonna be really fun and over my birthday, so vibes are gonna be like, Hi. And I'm really, really excited and applications are already coming in. There's only 10 spots, but I'll put a link to apply and apply to be a part of it. You'll have until the 11th to apply. And if you want to just come and say hi. Hey, come say hi on my instagram at Theresa Lambert coaching and let's have a conversation. I'm doing lots of cool things for my community there. So coming in Hi hanging out.

Yeah you are. Every post you make is punch full of edutainment, education, knowledge, wisdom. It's inspirational. I love that. I

love that you say that. Because you know what, and that's another episode we're going to talk about. So promises to all of you, but you know what my one of my biggest fears is glare, but that I don't add enough value.

Don't think that because then you're gonna over like, then you're gonna overdo it.

No, but no, but it's interesting that like I've been, I've been reflecting and I'm like, it's such a BS when

your bestie and just ask me, I got you, girl, I got you. I just want to also just say I forgot. So November, I actually have some travel coming up. Surprise, surprise. I'm heading to Miami for a mastermind with my PR and business coach, and a couple other people I really look up to in the business world. And I'm really excited about that. And I'm going to do some more professional development, but with a bit more fun. I don't even know what to call it. Like, it's not a mastermind. It's not a conference, it's its own thing. But I'm gonna go to Texas, I'm going to be at a ranch for a couple days from Miami. So the beginning of November, I'm doing a lot of professional development and networking and growing. And I'm going to just be really open to being inspired. And I'm excited to come back and innovate. And I have a client event happening on Vancouver Island. So I'm gonna be traveling over there. So I just want to share that I share most of my life and what I'm up to on social media, specifically Instagram Instagram stories. So if you want to know what I'm up to, like, follow along, I have a lot of people reaching out and they're like, you're so your life so interesting. Or I'm so jealous. I want your life and like do you like I mean, if I had kids, it'd be different. My parents are dead, like, so just know that. Like, I also share the bad. And I share the good. And what you see is the life that I'm building, the seeds of today are being planted. So the life of tomorrow I can live. So yeah, that's what's going on. So should we wrap up? I think that is it. That's a wrap of it. That's all that's a wrap saran wrap.

Saran Wrap It Up. This was October. November is going to be epic. It sounds like Blair and I are going to be meeting up and mihika but that's very, not till January. But there's lots of exciting things happening as we finish out the year and invite beautiful souls to come and join us on this epic journey we call life and business and success here on the dissecting success podcast. And out in the evils

out in the world.

Out in the world. I love it anyways, be able. That's a wrap for another episode of dissecting success. enjoyed this episode. Make sure to subscribe to Blair Kaplain Venables and Theresa Lambert's podcast dissecting success on the App Store. And follow