Ep 113: 100 and Counting ENCORE

You ever wonder what success actually means?

How do you get it?

And how do you keep it?

We all want it yet sometimes it feels only some of us get to have it.

Hi, Teresa and Blair here we are to badass entrepreneurs, best selling authors, coaches and business mentors who have had success, built success, questioned our own success and reclaimed it. Let's be real for a hot minute. 2020 has been a roller coaster ride, and many of us a start to wonder if the loser things that made them successful. So we got curious, Ron real about what success is truly about?

Can you put it in a box?

How can you get it?

Can people take it away? Or are you the one with the power?

Does it mean the same to all of us? Or are we the ones that create it?

From PGA golf pros to doctors, CEOs, entrepreneurs and spiritual mentors. We get together to meet with successful people from around the globe to dissect success for vibrant conversations and interviews. Make sure you click the subscribe button on the app store because each week we will drop a new episode to bust through the myths around success and dissect its true meaning.

Welcome back to another episode of dissecting success. It's me, Blair Kaplan Venable and I'm here as a result, Lambert. And this is a very special episode. So yes, it is up to Pupu because it's episode 101 Handys. I love it. Oh, my God. Oh my god, we did it. Um, life has changed so much. And from when we began this a couple years ago, I was just listening to our first episode. And I'm excited because today, Theresa, we're going to dive in what does success mean to us today and kind of talk about our lives and success and everything in between. I'm coming to you from Miami, Florida. I'm sitting currently on a balcony, because my roommate is sleeping. I'm here for a mastermind. I'm on the ground with a balcony sitting by the ocean, getting ready to uplevel my skills and free so where are you?

I am in Buenos itis, Argentina for a few more days, I am leaving. And I'm actually isn't so funny. By the time this episode airs. I'll be in Costa Rica. But by the time next week, today, I will be in Miami. So you and I are literally like just missing each other in Miami. And this same thing happened. Like you were in Toronto. I was in Toronto, but it just like work out like I was flying out you were flying out like you were flying to Europe. I was flying to Argentina. Now you're in Miami today. I'm in Miami and five days, six days. I'm in Miami. And then anyway, it's just so funny to how we happen to record this 100th episode and we're like, you know, like both? Yeah, I, in a different part of the world. When the first episode, we recorded that when we decided to do this podcast was in the pandemic. And you and I were zoom pots. Yeah. And everyone was alive. Yeah. And yeah, holy shit. Yeah. And like, here we are zoom calls again. But not because of a pandemic, because we're somewhat different. But life has changed. I was married.

You were married. You were a wife. And now you are single, hello, single and ready to mingle. And single

and I mingle. And I mingle.

I love that. I'm still married. And I like really into my husband. So that works. But um, my mom died. My dad died. My baby died. My father in law died. Husband is still alive and nice. My mother in law, my sister, I still got lots of people you. But you know, it's really interesting, because I was just like showering and listening to the first podcast, he put success in a pineapple or success belongs in a pineapple. Episode One. It's really interesting, because we were talking a lot about how success is a feeling. And over the last 99 episodes, that's what one of the constants was. It's not about the material items you have. Sometimes it is for some people, but it's a feeling. And I'm diving into that further because I'm actually reading Shawn a course book, The Happiness Advantage. And I do a lot of public speaking about gratitude. And I talk about his concept of gratitude and how you practice gratitude every day, three times a day for at least 21 days. And you list sorry, and you do that and you start to see the world in a more positive way because your brain gets rewired. I was recently You had a conference that a woman's, a woman's retreat, but it was like at a summer camp was really fun. But there's a book exchange. And I saw this book there, and it was his book. And I've actually never read it, and I'm reading it. And basically, what I'm really taking away from it is, it's not even like success we're chasing, it's not success, I'm chasing it's happiness. And when you feel happy, you can then be successful or feel successful. And so, I don't know I would. I've been thinking about that a lot lately, because I've had some crazy career milestones. And I couldn't think of one recent one where I was, I knew it was exciting, and I was happy. But I was happy it happened and excited and proud. But I didn't feel it didn't feel successful. And it was when I was on a billboard in Times Square. I remember standing there looking at it, and I was burnt out and like deep grief, and, you know, just launched my book. And then two other co author books, I was on a media tour just had my mom's unveiling, my dad died a few months prior. And I remember looking at this billboard, like, this is a huge career milestone, but like, I'm pretty miserable. I don't feel happy about it. I don't feel happy. Like I'm happy as in like, Oh, cool. Like, I'm really proud of myself, but I couldn't physically feel it. So I feel like now I'm not on this quest to be successful. Because again, it's subjective. People tell me all the time, you're killing it, you're doing amazing things. But sometimes I don't feel that what I'm trying to chase. The it's the high of happiness. I want to be happy. That's all. It just want to be happy.

And is it chasing it? Or is it working towards embodying what happiness? Maybe

you're right? Maybe it's not chase? No, I think it's chasing the high of feeling happy. Like, but it's Yeah, working to embody happiness, but also like, restructure and like, destroyed, reconstruct what's in my life, what's in my business, constantly figuring it out. Because something that I'm makes me happy today might not be the same in a week or two. But for me, yeah, yeah, I

think that's, you know, I think so much of what you said is so important. And I mean, I feel like I've just been going through this process of dismantling everything, and literally letting go of everything that wasn't feeling good anymore and aligned anymore. And, you know, it's so it's so interesting, I mean, success, it's so easy to make it about external things. And for me, it definitely, it's still, it's still about a feeling. But I also feel like, I feel the most successful when I feel the most alive. So for me, it's really been about this journey of being in full integrity, with taking the actions and doing the things that make me feel the most alive. And that has come with some really hard fucking choices to make, and lives to pack up and things to let go. And on the other side of that, I feel so much more life and you've seen that and other people have been reflecting this back to me recently that they've been watching my transformation and they've been watching me change and watching me show up differently and just it feels different. And it feels different for me because I truly feel more alive I do different things. I take up more space, I'm far more relaxed, about like everything. And it's um, it's a very beautiful change that has happened and so you know, as you were saying about like chasing happiness. For me right now. It's really like I'm really not like chasing anything but really about being in the feeling of aliveness like, the more I can feel alive, the more I can feel like I'm taking action with intention, I'm present to the moment I'm peaceful and relaxed, even when things don't always go well. You know, I really have come to realize that when I am out of the moment, and when I am stressing over shit that happens in like few weeks from now or stuff that I can control I am at my worst, and at my worst, I am not happy. So to your point, I think it is a place of happiness, but also joy and just really feeling like like this sounds so cliche, maybe to some people listening now, but for me, it's really about loving myself, unconditionally, and I only love myself and hold myself that dear when I'm at my best Often when I'm at my worst, and I'm focused on external or future, all this other shit that's going on, that's when I start to beat myself up. And it doesn't make me feel alive, it makes me feel like I want to I want to disappear from the world.

You know, it's interesting to say that because like I, I've watched you and been with you through this transformations, most recent transformation you're going through, and like, you're like a whole different person. And it's like, you shed this layer of skin, and that you are fully alive, because before you were existing, you were in like survival mode, and you weren't fully alive. And what's been really interesting is that, and we didn't know that sometimes you don't know these things until you know, you're past it, right? In hindsight. And it's like, I get to re, like, re get to know you. Where you're lighter and happier and more creative. And you have this this like, yeah, like this happiness about you. And you can tell that you're really working on your self love, and it's, it's really cool. And I can see it impacting in a positive way your business and the choices you make. And I think it's really important because a lot of times people, like I see people associate success again, with the material things like, or you know, the things that you're doing, or whatever it might be, but really, like it comes down to how do you love yourselves? How happy are you? Are you doing what you want to do? Are you where you want to be? And if all those answers aren't, like, you know, in alignment or you know, positive or whatnot, like what is the purpose of your life? Why are you here? Why are you here in this lifetime, you're not a robot, you're not meant to like, just work like 6070 hour weeks, pump out, you know, make money, like, wake up, go to work, eat dinner, go to bed, do the same, like that's not what we're meant to do in this life. We're not robots, but it's easy to be a robot.

Yeah, I think it feels safe to be a robot feels comfortable to be a robot, because that's how the world operates. And I call it out the way it is. And like, you know, not to be like the burden that paints like black on the wall, but like, let's face it, like we have painted a picture of success. We have painted a picture of status and power that's associated with busyness, doing stuff, grinding, putting your head down, making sacrifices and sometimes, you know, I actually being following the path to find true fulfillment, happiness, joy, love, like for me too. This is the first time in my life I'm about to turn 48 where I can truthfully say, I fucking love myself. Like, I really love myself, all of myself, even the times when I fuck up and I get it wrong. Or I'm being in my dowdy, little self, I still love myself through all of it.

And I've not had this at that level ever, like ever like, it was always like something I surface level the like touched but it came from this whole thing I think that we also externally focused and it's really scary. And it takes a lot of courage to go the path where you prioritize your well being and your feeling that you're after. Whether it's happiness, you know what you're talking about flat or the high of happiness or just feeling alive like me, but like when you when you're starting to go down this path or to open the doors, because you're going to open a door and another door another door and the thing is, you're starting to walk against the grain you're starting to do things different from what the rest of the world does. And that is so uncomfortable. Like so uncomfortable. Like people just don't like it's the so much is like a lot of people want that. But what you actually have to do to get there it's not very comfortable, because it's easier to just go with the grain of being like you know, I'm grinding and we bond over stuff to like think about it love we bond over being tired. We bond over being busy. Oh, you're so busy. Yeah, me too. So much on my plate. Ah, ah, isn't that funny to do this always creep up on? Yeah, like all the time like, we bond. And we connect and we create a sense of belonging over our misery of being busy and hustling and but you know, but look what I have accomplished. Yeah, that's amazing, right? And then we like it could not undermining all of that, but why don't we do that with other things? Why don't we do that with like, hey Blair, really proud of you for like, taking an actual vacation and not being on at all for like 10 days, I mean, you

Wo wo wo, I was just gonna say we do that

We do that we you and I do but but but the majority like collective doesn't collective doesn't. So collectively what I want to ask everyone with all the questions that Blair just ask is like, if you want to see change, if you want to actually feel like you're successful, if you want to feel happy, if you want to feel alive, you've got to start actually putting everything on the same level. You being relaxed and happy is as important as you accomplishing something in your busy business. You feeling love, like self love for yourself and you feeling really fucking awesome about yourself is as is as important than the number in your bank account. Yeah. Yeah, like we can't. And I'm saying and the reason why I'm saying putting it on the same level and not putting this on the other level is because I actually think it's about accepting all of it, as part of it, and is an equal part of equal importance. Rather than saying, oh, you know, like, I, you know, I like the thing is, we can live off air. Yeah, great, you know, so I'm not gonna sit here and say, it's not important that you, you're able to earn a great income in your business, it's not important that you, you accomplish things in your business, because I would be lying to you if I said that, because all of those things are really important to me. And they contribute to the external picture of success. And that is still something that's important to me. But it can't happen. If on the other side of this balance, like board, I am unhappy, like you're saying, like for you to stand in New York, and see yourself on a billboard. And being like, wow, like, this is amazing. And yeah, of course, you were happy, of course, you're celebrating, but to actually have that internal feeling of like, this is happening in my life right now. And, and I, I want to be jumping up and down and really feeling this euphoria of this moment, because it's fucking huge. But to stand down be like, but there's actually things in my life that I'm really not happy about. And I got to fucking deal with them. Because I don't want to feel like that. Because you're realizing that it doesn't matter what billboard you on, it doesn't matter what's happening externally. If that's not aligned, it'll never mean the same. And I mean, I've been talking about this for years, but I feel like now even more, so. It's internalizing, you know?

Yeah, no, definitely. That was definitely like that time in my life was definitely rock bottom. And like, obviously, there's definitely things I wasn't happy with, right? Like, my mom died and my dad died. And you just didn't pick him up leave? Yeah, yeah. And I just didn't take the proper time to like, he'll take time off, because it's hard to really take time off in your business. And now, because of all that, like a, I know, I never have to lose my mom and dad again, like they're gone. But what happens when the next big thing happens, I need to take time off. So now I'm working to create a business where I can step away, if I need to take time and things operate the way they need to operate. Because before it wasn't, and, you know, I guess that was a rock bottom for me in my personal life and in my business. And sometimes we need to hit the bottom before we bounce forward. Right? Like I define resilience is the ability to bounce forward from a difficult time and that's what I'm doing. I'm mid bounce right now. I'm in such a better place right now. Like if that billboard was to happen today. It would be very different than if it happened in June. But it happened in June and that's just that's the way it happened. And you know what, I'm 37 I'm like I'm, I have a long career ahead of success ahead of me because success is the journey, not the destination. I have a long life of happiness ahead of me. I have a long life of transformations ahead of me. and my business is going to continue to evolve like this. I was like, I didn't even think of it. But like, I'm almost 15 years in business. That's insane. 15 years, that's amazing. Like I can, yeah, like I can, like I can't like the world was so different in 2008. And, you know, just going into the end of this year and into next year, it's got me really thinking about like, wow, how far I've come. And it got me really thinking, Theresa, I need to update my brag pineapple. And that, you know what, back to our first episode, success still belongs in a pineapple.

Success definitely still belongs in a pineapple, I can't travel with my pineapple. So I've left my pineapple behind. And it was so funny, because just the other day, I was thinking about it now that the pineapple is left behind. And I don't regularly put my success in my binder full. And I am not using my oversized calendar anymore, which I used to take the posts and then put them in a class so I could see all the things that I've accomplished. And it's like I'm, I've, you know, I'm using everything that she'll leave, but it's just not the same. And it's really pulled me out of some of my routine. And it's pulled me out of like, I was just reflecting on that. It pulled me out of the real connection I had with the things that I accomplished in a day, and also celebrating all the successes, you know, so I feel like maybe you and I need to have like a better system or something like a voxel. But yeah, like, I feel like, you know what, even if it's at the end of the day, or at the end of the week, we we drop in something that we're proud of accomplishing and something that we want to celebrate. Because I think like for me, those were rituals, and I'm a very like, like the act of taking something and physically seeing something for me. I think it's it's such a vital piece of the pineapple.

Yeah, you know what I just had? Yeah, I just had like, Yeah, and you went out there an app developer? What if we had like a pineapple a successful pineapple app, where you got to put it in and it was like a 3d Pineapple. You got to open basically a virtual version of what you have.

Oh my god, that would be amazing. Yeah, that would be amazing. And you can like damp it too. And then it pulls up the pieces of paper. Oh my god.

That is in the meantime, in the meantime, what you what you can do is get a bigger piece of paper that folds up, draw a big pineapple and just write your successes in the pineapple.

Oh my god, I love that. Okay,

so in the meantime, do that. But if you're an app developer, can you help us create

reach out to us we have a business.

It's we have what we need to create a part or pineapple brag bank. Oh my gosh. Okay, so what what are we what are we doing with the future of dissecting success and Blair and Teresa? Well, I can tell you that momentum cohort three is launching in the new year. And what's really exciting is there is potential for Theresa and I to actually be in the same place at the same time to launch it together. More on that coming up. We're going to keep promoting each other lifting each other up celebrating happiness, exploring the world falling in love with ourselves. Every day I'm working on that Theresa, I, you know, I look to you, as a mentor and falling in love with yourself are both going to continue healing and growing. Teresa and I both have our own businesses, I got a lot of cool things coming up. But I'm going to wait till we unfold episodes to share things. But for me wrapping up this year, I'm really going to be focusing on professional development. And I'm going to create a really great strategy for 2023 and for the next three years because by the time I'm 40 I want to empower 80 million people. And so I'm creating that three year plan to get there. And so I'm really excited. That's why I'm In Miami to really solidify the plan and the steps I need to take in my business and my growth and the clients I bring on my you know, my partnerships, my travel, my professional development, everything I need to do to make that transition to being also not just a thought leader in social media but a resilience expert, a well known resilience expert. So the next couple months or I guess now it's like the next month or so. It's just going to be being with family. It's I'm sweating on the patio in Miami but it's snowing back in Kamloops and like Shane is super stoked because he's a skier. So it's going to be really like hunkering down and you know, getting stoked for 2023

My God, I love that. I love that. So exciting. I'm excited to hear all about what's happening for you and that free of plan and like just to experience that you're going to have in Miami I think it's going to be vidi vidi amazing. I am off to experience myself. I'm going back Back to Costa Rica to the retreat, and I'll spend a week really starting to focus on 2020 Free for myself, I'm actually really excited to, to take the next two months VD and really dive into my business side of things more strategizing for my business. Again, I've made a lot of changes to my business in the last couple of months. And similarly to what blessed that, you know, I, I realized throughout the summer that I was running my business in a way that Vidya relied on me to always show up and, and when I couldn't, because I was really focusing on life. And I was still showing up but not in the, in no way or with the consistency of really promoting my products and services. Because I had to stop taking on clients because I ran into capacity, it really made me think a lot about the business I want to have and how I want to scale it and what what needs to happen. So I have freedom to play, and I have a lot of space coming up, you know, I'm off to to Costa Rica. And then I'm off to a another destination, which you'll find out which is the place that plan I will like the meet in January in the new year. And I will actually be for the first time in my life. Be on my own for the holidays. So that is going to be you know, it's a little heavy. I'm feeling a little emotional. And I know I'm not going to be alone.

But, you know, that's a big change. It is a big change. And it's totally okay to be emotional about it. This is a big first. Yeah, I'll be you'll find you'll find you won't be alone. But it's it's going to be a first first. First Yeah, first, first or hard.

Yeah, it's my birthday. And then it's Christmas. And then the new year. Yeah. And I think that for me, as I'm finishing. And as I'm going into 2023 It's going to be continued to be focused. No focus on what's important focus on continuing to, to do this work, to really love myself. And to learn that we are always home, no matter where we are. And we always belong. And there's always beautiful people community and connection around us. And I think that has been such a big big thing for me to build in my business but also with the people in my life to have more powerful connections. So yeah, so I'm excited to to finish the year in a beautiful in beautiful fucking stunning places. One I've never been to. And yeah, to continue to walk this journey that I'm on right now. And yeah, not always amazing, but always worthwhile. So yeah, no,

but if things are easy, they're not worth Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what the thing is. But like sometimes we have to go to the heart for it to be really, you know, real. Life changing happiness.

Yeah. Yeah. I think that is to what I said, right? Like, if you're going on this path, and you're gonna choose to do this work just know like healing and really choosing a different path. It's, it's might not look the way you think it's gonna look, it might not be, you know, it might be actually taking up space to be on your own. And owning that. And that's why I said I'll be on my own. And not I'll be alone. I'll be on my own. Surrounded by other beautiful people traveling the world.

One bag. Yeah, it'll be a union of other people on their own. So a group of on their owns. I love that. Well, you know what? It's the end. It's the end of episode 100. I guess for Yeah. 100 100 episodes. Now.

The hack of we're going to be at the 200

Oh, gosh, I can't wait. I can't wait. This is awesome. Well, do you want to wrap it?

Sure. I'll wrap it. This was amazing. I feel like for all of you listening, and I know We have some like Avid listeners who have been here with us since we've decided that you can put success in a pineapple. Thank you. I want to say thank you to everybody that's listening to everybody that's reaching out to us to be on the podcast, we get so many requests. Thank you. It's amazing. We've been so blessed to have this podcast to have this space. It's certainly for me, this podcast is is also a symbol of the friendship and the connection that you and I have let it's like started some really, really cool things. It's been a really constant in my life. And I'm excited for it to continue to be a constant. And we're both just really grateful for everybody listening for you being here for you sharing for you showing up and reaching out to us and letting us know how much things are resonating with you because honestly, like that is what this is all about. This podcast is always been about us having conversations and doing it for as long as it's fun. And it's been fun for 100 episodes, and I'm excited for it to be fun for another 100 episodes. And with that being said, I invite all of you to rethink what does success mean to you? Write it up, go live. Share it on the socials. Put it on your stories. We want to know what does success mean to you and tag me and Blair on Instagram. We're at Blair from Leyland and add to resell avid coaching, and you can tag us let us know but we want to know what does success mean to you? Now? What does success mean to you now, and I dare you to start moving towards that. Move towards that no matter what though? We love you. Thank you for being here and this is a wrap for another episode of dissecting. That's a wrap for another episode of dissecting success. enjoyed this episode. Make sure to subscribe to Blair Kaplan, Venables and Theresa Lambert's podcast dissecting success on the App Store.