Tonya Joyce refused to believe her doctor’s when they said she’d never walk again, she’d never talk without a stutter, never recover from a second horrific car crash. She didn’t take on that diagnosis, she instead chose to prove them wrong. She shifted her mindset and looked for others who had done just that, to prove to herself that she could too and to act as her inspiration, on her journey to recovery. Now she shares her story with the world in order to inspire others, that anything is possible, you can heal your body when you choose that as a possibility and focus on what you CAN do instead of what you CAN’T do. It wasn’t easy, but her desire to walk again was stronger than the pain of those first small steps as she started her healing journey. Tune in to be inspired and please share this episode with anyone in your life that needs to hear it.
Tonya’s website: www.guidedpathwellness.com
A gift to listeners: $20 off the first session by stating that they heard Tanya Joyce on the “Don’t Wait For Your Wake Up Call!” podcast.
Your Guided Health Journey Membership – 1 month FREE Trial: https://yourguidedhealthjourney.com/membership-programs/
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Complimentary 15-minute consult:
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Discover Your Toxic Load Quiz: https://welcome.yourguidedhealthjourney.com/yourtoxicload
About the Guest:
Tonya Joyce:
I am a mother of 5 beautiful children and two young granddaughters. They are my world, and I am so grateful to be here with them and for them, as I have experienced not one, but two horrendous car crashes. I went from being my children’s parents to being their patient for most of their childhood. Getting through the pain and hardship these accidents caused myself and my family has taught me how truly powerful the mind is. The journey of recovery has given me extensive knowledge and experience practicing the healing arts benefiting the body and the soul. Today is a gift, and I am here to share my knowledge with others.
Not only did I survive these car accidents, but I also survived childhood sexual abuse and human trafficking as a young adult. These experiences have made me a strong advocate for women survivors in several areas.
The doctors said I would never walk again, talk again, return to work or university. I have proved them all wrong as I painstakingly went from a wheelchair to walking in heels and even walked on fire! I have returned to university and full-time work with the Province of BC and have started my own company to help others build their toolbox to wellness. Yes, we can define our wellness together on our terms with the right tools.
Instagram is @guidedpathwellness
Facebook Group: Joy And Pain with Tonya Joyce
A gift to listeners is $20 off the first session by stating that they heard me on your show!
Credentials:
I have also completed:
· Pain Foundation with Pain BC
· Pain Foundations for Allied Health Professionals with Pain BC
· Am a member of the Community for the ECHO series with Pain BC
· I am a Crisis Line Volunteer with Chemo Community Services and have accumulated over 500 volunteer hours
· I have a certificate in Trauma-Informed Practices
· 160 Hours of Mediation Training
About the Host:
Melissa is an Integrative Health Practitioner helping people get to the root cause of their health issues. Melissa neither diagnoses nor cures but helps bring your body back into balance by helping discover your “toxic load” and then removing the toxins. Melissa offers functional medicine lab testing that helps you “see inside” to know exactly what is going on, and then provides a personalized wellness protocol using natural herbs and supplements. Melissa’s business is 100% virtual – the lab tests are mailed directly to your home and she specializes in holding your hand and guiding the way to healing so that you don’t have to figure it all out on your own.
Melissa is the winner of the 2021 Quality Care Award by Business From The Heart and is also the recipient of the Alignable “Local Business Person of the Year “Award 2022 for Whistler.
Melissa has been featured at a number of Health & Wellness Summits, such as the Health, Wealth & Wisdom Summit, The Power To Profit Summit, The Feel Fan-freaking-tas-tic Summit, the Aim Higher Summit, and many more! She has also guested on over 60 different podcasts teaching people about the importance of prioritizing our health and how to get get started.
www.yourguidedhealthjourney.com
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissadeally/
FB: https://www.facebook.com/Guidedhealthjourney
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/guidedhealthjourney/
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTYG85CdWUA5MZ0NDCs-Z3Q/videos
Thanks for listening!
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Imagine getting up every day full of energy is
Melissa Deally:if you were in your 20s. Again, what would that be? Like? What
Melissa Deally:would that be worth to you? What is your health worth to you?
Melissa Deally:Think about it. Your health isn't everything. But without
Melissa Deally:it, everything else is nothing. And yet too many of us are
Melissa Deally:taking it for granted until something goes wrong. No one
Melissa Deally:wakes up hoping to be diagnosed with a disease or chronic
Melissa Deally:illness. And yet, we've never been taught how to be proactive
Melissa Deally:in our health through our school system, or public health. As a
Melissa Deally:registered health coach and integrative health practitioner,
Melissa Deally:I believe it is time this information is made available to
Melissa Deally:everyone. Combining new knowledge around your health and
Melissa Deally:the ability to do my functional medicine lab tests in the
Melissa Deally:comfort of your own home will allow you to optimize your
Melissa Deally:health for today and all your tomorrow's don't wait for your
Melissa Deally:wakeup call.
Melissa Deally:Welcome back to another edition of don't wait for your wake up
Melissa Deally:call. I am Melissa dealey your host and excited to bring you an
Melissa Deally:incredible guest today to share her story of inspiration because
Melissa Deally:of course, my theme this month is inspiration. So welcome,
Melissa Deally:Tanya, I'm so happy to have you here. Thank you for joining me.
Tonya Joyce:Oh, thank you so much, Melissa, it's so great to
Tonya Joyce:be here. And I I think you're a great inspiration to our
Tonya Joyce:community of women as well, to our whole community, whether you
Tonya Joyce:be woman or man and everything in between. So thank you for
Tonya Joyce:having me.
Melissa Deally:Well, thank you so much. And I'm just going to
Melissa Deally:share a tiny snippet of your story because I really want the
Melissa Deally:audience to hear it in your own words. But Tanya is a mother of
Melissa Deally:five beautiful children and two young granddaughters and looking
Melissa Deally:her like you would never know that looked at her. They are her
Melissa Deally:world and she is so grateful to be here with them. And for them
Melissa Deally:today as she has experienced not one but two horrendous car
Melissa Deally:crashes. Which that just sounds absolutely horrendous, as you've
Melissa Deally:said, and but here you are smiling, thriving, don't look
Melissa Deally:nearly old enough to have you know, two granddaughters. So
Melissa Deally:you've you've clearly done a lot of healing in that time. And I
Melissa Deally:would love you to share this story of inspiration with the
Melissa Deally:audience. So please take us back to where this started and what
Melissa Deally:you've done.
Unknown:Thank you. So, to begin, I really would love to
Unknown:step forward and say that life is a journey. And we're all on
Unknown:this journey of healing from the day we're born, we learn and we
Unknown:start in our environment, coming into this world with a blank
Unknown:slate. And what you know, some people say what doesn't kill you
Unknown:makes you stronger. So I come from a background of trauma
Unknown:after trauma from childhood. So in 2012, I had had one previous
Unknown:accident in 2010, which put me off work for three months. And
Unknown:you know, that was okay, a little bit life changing. I had
Unknown:just graduated from university. And I had to walk with a cane go
Unknown:to the chiropractor. So I learned a little bit of healing
Unknown:from there. But it wasn't completely devastating. I still
Unknown:had a job to go back to. But after five and a half years of
Unknown:university, I did have to use a cane to go across the stage. It
Unknown:was painful to get to go to convocation with that kind of
Unknown:injury. But I did it, you know, and I was grateful that I earned
Unknown:that degree, but I wish I was walking across the stage and
Unknown:dancing across a bit. You know, just like
Unknown:wow, and celebrating it right?
Unknown:to it. I really wanted to fully celebrated it, but I did it in
Unknown:pain. But you know, life happens. So get over that
Unknown:hurdle. And I healed from that pretty, pretty good. You know, I
Unknown:was still experiencing some pain. And then just as I thought
Unknown:things were getting better in 2012 I was back at work,
Unknown:thriving, five children, you know, life was going really good
Unknown:for me. And I was on my way to becoming a lawyer. I had
Unknown:graduated as a criminologist and and I was like, Wow, I'm going
Unknown:to go to UBC law, which is in Vancouver, BC. They're a really
Unknown:prominent law school, not like the ones back I used. I was
Unknown:still on my way there with five children. I was like, wow, life
Unknown:is really happening. I was struck by a drunk driver. At
Unknown:that moment, I died and came back to life with a completely
Unknown:different trajectory. And so it life changed. I spent 18 days in
Unknown:the hospital with Multiple musculoskeletal injuries. Pain,
Unknown:like I never knew it, I became my children's patient instead of
Unknown:their parent. I didn't know how to maneuver in the world as a
Unknown:completely broken person, mother, sister, daughter, all of
Unknown:these things, I didn't know how to operate in the world, as an
Unknown:educated woman. And now as completely reliant on everyone
Unknown:around me, I was the one taking care of everyone. And now
Unknown:everyone around me was taking care of me. I was advised by the
Unknown:doctors, I'd never walk again, I was in a wheelchair. I never
Unknown:taught properly again, I had a stutter, I would never return to
Unknown:university. All of the goals and dreams that I had for myself,
Unknown:were no longer. So what do you do in that situation? You What
Melissa Deally:do you do? What does that do to your mindset to
Melissa Deally:even hear that kind of prognosis?
Unknown:Yeah. And all my life, I had to fight for everything I
Unknown:had. I was a single mom before I was married to a man who would
Unknown:not participate in the family. He refused. He refused to
Unknown:contribute financially, emotionally parentally. He was
Unknown:in the house, but he was just a warm body. And the children had
Unknown:to step up and take care of everything. So as a mother, what
Unknown:do you do? You're injured, and you're watching the world around
Unknown:you fall apart. We as women, and I've given this talk before, for
Unknown:some who might know me might be listening to this, because I
Unknown:will certainly share it on my page. But we as women, we fight
Unknown:with every fiber of our being we fight. And when I heard that
Unknown:prognosis, I'm like, oh, no, you don't know who you're dealing
Unknown:with. Watch me. Know, I got through five years of
Unknown:university, five and a half years with five children while
Unknown:working full time. Nothing can stop me. But this accident
Unknown:stopped me in my tracks. And I had to reevaluate. So honestly,
Unknown:your your life changes. And you reevaluate. So that's what I had
Melissa Deally:to do. I just want to stop there for a second,
Melissa Deally:though, because I'm hearing you saying, and I'm unstoppable. And
Melissa Deally:I'm not going to accept this prognosis. And I'm sure that was
Melissa Deally:part of you being able to be on this podcast and talk to me
Melissa Deally:without a stutter and not be in a wheelchair anymore. Because
Melissa Deally:you had a different belief, from what you were being told you
Melissa Deally:refuse to take on what you're being told.
Unknown:Absolutely. So my whole life, people told me I couldn't
Unknown:do this, because I was raised in a trailer park. I couldn't do
Unknown:that. Because I was a woman. I wasn't allowed to go to
Unknown:university. No one in my family had graduated. University. It
Unknown:was all limitation after limitation. I had a baby at 17.
Unknown:Oh, you're never going to go anywhere. And you're going to
Unknown:remain on income assistance your whole life because you had a
Unknown:baby as a teenager. Well, what that did for me, was this power
Unknown:rose up inside me. When someone says I can't do something. I get
Unknown:this feeling inside me that says, oh, now I'm going to show
Unknown:you. And I look for examples of women who have done it before me
Unknown:and succeeded. To show me proof that it's possible. Yep. And so
Unknown:I live by that value system. If someone has gone through it, and
Unknown:succeeded, I too can succeed. So I start looking, it's what we
Unknown:call the reticular activation system. Yes. If you put your
Unknown:mind to something, and you look for proof and examples of that,
Unknown:all of a sudden, you'll start seeing it everywhere, and it'll
Unknown:become possible for you. Mm hmm. It's just like,
Melissa Deally:like, you know, as on a really basic level. I'd
Melissa Deally:never paid attention to Subaru cars before. And then I go and
Melissa Deally:buy a new car three years ago, and I went to Toyota that I'd
Melissa Deally:had I went to Honda that I'd had and in the same mall was Subaru,
Melissa Deally:and I'd never owned a Subaru never paid attention, but I
Melissa Deally:ended up buying that car. And then of course, every other car
Melissa Deally:on the road is now a Subaru, right? I just saw them
Melissa Deally:everywhere. That's exactly what you're talking about here on a
Melissa Deally:very simplistic level on him or her You know, spiritual level,
Melissa Deally:what I'm hearing you talk about is you were looking for that
Melissa Deally:inspiration yourself. And how often is it that we don't think
Melissa Deally:we can do something ourselves until we seen that someone else
Melissa Deally:can do it? Right? It even came down to, you know, in the
Melissa Deally:Olympics and running the mile and whatever it was under
Melissa Deally:however many minutes and it was, you know, deemed to be humanly
Melissa Deally:impossible, until someone did it. And then all of a sudden,
Melissa Deally:everybody else started doing it too, because we saw it was
Melissa Deally:possible. So I love that you were looking to others for that
Melissa Deally:validation that it could be done, and then challenging
Melissa Deally:yourself to say, well, if they can do it, I can do it too. And
Melissa Deally:again, stepping into that unstoppable mindset.
Unknown:That is exactly what we need to do. Why I became a
Unknown:public speaker, because I want to share that with everyone.
Unknown:Because if we can come into that mindset, at a younger age in our
Unknown:lives, we will start stepping into our power into our gifts
Unknown:that were given, thinking of, where's your proof? If you start
Unknown:to doubt yourself? Where is your proof that that's not possible
Unknown:for you? And go for look for the proof that it is possible. So,
Unknown:you know, athletes have it? Do you know when they when they
Unknown:practice, like you said the Olympics, you know, who says I
Unknown:can't do that? Who told me I can't? Oh, well, I'm going to
Unknown:show you that I can.
Melissa Deally:But it's very funny that you say that, because
Melissa Deally:you know, even with Olympians as people might be thinking, Well,
Melissa Deally:I'm not an Olympian. So how is that relevant, but I want to
Melissa Deally:share a story of my daughter when she was two or three. And
Melissa Deally:she's the January baby, right. So a lot of her friends were
Melissa Deally:actually from September, October, November, December the
Melissa Deally:year before, so just slightly older grade ahead at school. But
Melissa Deally:when I put my, when I put her into swimming lessons by
Melissa Deally:herself, she didn't want to jump into the pool from the edge,
Melissa Deally:right. But then I put her into the same class with her friend
Melissa Deally:that's literally two months older, and they do swimming
Melissa Deally:lessons together. And she sees her friend jump in, she just
Melissa Deally:takes one look at her go and jumps in. Right. And so for
Melissa Deally:quite a few years, I always put her with one of her friends that
Melissa Deally:was just slightly older, who was already doing it. And then all
Melissa Deally:of a sudden, she could do it too. Right. And it's just proof
Melissa Deally:that even in that little two year old, three year old even
Melissa Deally:learning to ski, etc. That young, young mind, I think it's
Melissa Deally:innately there that we can recognize, oh, what if they can
Melissa Deally:do it, I can do it. And somewhere along the way, you
Melissa Deally:know, through life, we will beat ourselves up and squash
Melissa Deally:ourselves down and start to believe that we can't do things
Melissa Deally:just because others can, that we're not good enough, etc. But
Melissa Deally:that's all BS. We're all human beings. And we Yes, we all have
Melissa Deally:our innate special talents. But if someone else can do it, we
Melissa Deally:can do it might take a little bit more practice to get there.
Melissa Deally:But we can absolutely do it.
Unknown:Yeah. And and one thing I stress like, is to clients to
Unknown:people around me, is that when they say I'm not a good singer?
Unknown:Well, do you want to be a singer? If they don't want to be
Unknown:a singer, okay, it's a moot point. But if you want to be a
Unknown:good singer, take lessons. Mm hmm. It is possible for you to
Unknown:be a good singer. Do you want to be a singer on stage? Do you
Unknown:want to be a recording artists? How good of a singer Do you want
Unknown:to be? Anything's possible with practice with intention, with
Unknown:dedication. Be the best you can be at anything you put your
Unknown:efforts into. Nobody has to be something someone else's dream
Unknown:is it's your dream on your terms, by your standards. seek
Unknown:out someone who's doing it and follow their example.
Melissa Deally:And don't listen to someone who tells you that
Melissa Deally:you can't. So on that story, I am guilty of saying I'm not a
Melissa Deally:good thing. Because I've heard all of my life. And I love to
Melissa Deally:sing. And so I don't really care if I'm not a good singer because
Melissa Deally:I'll sing in the car, I'll sing in the shower, or I'll sing
Melissa Deally:while I'm doing my workouts because it just brings me joy.
Melissa Deally:Right? And, you know, I married my husband after we drove all
Melissa Deally:the way across Canada and he let me sing in the car in the
Melissa Deally:hallway. He didn't. But but when I was in middle school, every
Melissa Deally:year, we had our Christmas concert right and you either
Melissa Deally:were in the play or in the choir. And so I didn't want to
Melissa Deally:be in in the play I wanted to sing. But the choir teacher
Melissa Deally:would always tell me you're not a good enough singer to be in
Melissa Deally:the choir. And so I just kept hearing that I wasn't a good
Melissa Deally:singer. I didn't want to be a famous singer. But choir was one
Melissa Deally:way to be a better singer maybe right? And anyway, somehow,
Melissa Deally:every year, I talked myself into the choir because I wanted that
Melissa Deally:more than the acting. And so I was in the choir, and I did get
Melissa Deally:to sing, but I came away with thinking, I'm not a good singer,
Melissa Deally:to your point. And is it my dream? No. So I don't pursue it.
Melissa Deally:But how many times have we stopped our dreams, because
Melissa Deally:somebody told us we're not good at it, or we can't. And that's
Melissa Deally:hard to overcome as well. So I have experience with that, too.
Unknown:I do. For example, like when I said, the doctor said, I
Unknown:wouldn't walk, I wouldn't talk, I wouldn't even be able to fit
Unknown:because I had a brain injury. And still I deal with post
Unknown:concussion syndrome, and seizure disorder, and all of these
Unknown:things that the labels the diagnoses, because someone's
Unknown:wearing a white coat. And because they're a physician,
Unknown:it's a prognosis, or a diagnosis of the label of permanent
Unknown:disability. These can really weigh on us like a cloak, or
Unknown:like an metal armor that is so heavy that we carry it around
Unknown:every day. What I challenge people to do is take that armor
Unknown:off and say, Okay, I'm going to get a second opinion, I might
Unknown:even look in the mirror and take opinion, and challenge myself to
Unknown:say, you said I, again, I'm going to do everything I can do
Unknown:to be my best self. And challenge myself to see how far
Unknown:I can walk. challenge myself to see how many books I can read,
Unknown:even if I have to start at watch Jain run it I don't have to own
Unknown:that diagnosis, or that prognosis. I can take myself as
Unknown:far as I personally can. With what ever I'm dealing with,
Unknown:whether it be health, weight, education, occupation, anything
Unknown:along, like your science has behind you your guided health
Unknown:journey. It's your journey, your health on your terms. So yes, I
Unknown:got rid of the wheelchair. I got rid of the walker.
Melissa Deally:I love that.
Unknown:I started to talk without a stutter. Because I
Unknown:practiced every day just like singing. I read my books out
Unknown:loud. I exercised the neurons in my brain, which is
Unknown:neuroplasticity, to create new synapses. Yeah, to be able to
Unknown:challenge myself to get to a point where I could return to
Unknown:school. I could return to work, but it takes effort and
Unknown:dedication. It's not an easy journey. No. But I now walk in
Unknown:heels. I went to Tony Robbins in California to attend Unleash the
Unknown:Power Within which crushes your belief systems, which is what
Unknown:we're really talking about here. Is, is really getting to the
Unknown:heart of why do we believe what we believe in? Who told me that
Unknown:it wasn't possible? So I like to call it making the impossible
Unknown:possible. Yes, finding examples of who told me it wasn't
Unknown:possible. And why should I believe their source? Consider
Unknown:the source always? And how can I make it possible for me, in my
Unknown:circumstance, so I walked on fire when I was there, and I
Unknown:didn't get burned? And I'm like, how is that? For 10,000 people
Unknown:that have at the same time as me 10,000 People that get burned?
Unknown:How is that possible? And that you think that that was
Unknown:phenomenal, but people have been doing it for 1000s of years. It
Unknown:is not something outrageous to think about because your mind
Unknown:controls the body.
Melissa Deally:And your mind is so so powerful. And so I love
Melissa Deally:all that you're sharing here because when I work with
Melissa Deally:clients, they might come to me with a diagnosis. I may not even
Melissa Deally:know what that diagnosis means because I'm not a doctor. And
Melissa Deally:the reality is, is that diagnosis doesn't actually
Melissa Deally:matter to me in my work, because what I'm looking for is what's
Melissa Deally:going on inside the body where the imbalances are so that we
Melissa Deally:can rebalance the body because at that point it will heal
Melissa Deally:itself. And what I don't love about diagnosis is so often
Melissa Deally:people like well, I want a diagnosis. So I finally know
Melissa Deally:what's wrong with me. But the diagnosis is actually that label
Melissa Deally:and when we focus on the label, we get more of that label.
Melissa Deally:Unless we shift our mindset into not taking that diagnosis on
Melissa Deally:like you did.
Unknown:Thank you That's so beautiful of a statement.
Unknown:Refusing to own the diagnosis. How about we talk about what's
Unknown:right with you? Yes. Do you know when you are balanced,
Unknown:nutritionally, psychologically, holistic, holistically. You feel
Unknown:better you feel joy, like you're saying says I am enough. Because
Unknown:you are enough and health is everything. So when you look at
Unknown:health, like, I am a pain educator, I teach bio
Unknown:psychosocial pain management, because we want to tune down the
Unknown:pain signals that go from your mind to your body. Chronic pain
Unknown:does not have to control you, you can control your chronic
Unknown:pain, by looking at things in your environment, that
Unknown:contribute to what's making your pain scream at you. You don't
Unknown:necessarily need a pill, you need a purpose. That's my
Unknown:mantra. So when I'm thinking about when I couldn't walk, yes,
Unknown:it was painful to walk. But I wanted to walk more than I
Unknown:wanted to be in pain. Right Movement is not going to hurt
Unknown:you more movement will ease the pain in the long run. So whether
Unknown:it be swimming, or going on a bike, or even walking in the
Unknown:park with your bare feet on getting that nice nature walk
Unknown:and the grounding, benefiting and ground Yes. Whatever it is,
Unknown:people think exercising means going to a gym and working out
Unknown:next to someone who's running on the treadmill at 120. minute or
Unknown:what? Yeah, that's not it. It's on your terms. Absolutely. By my
Unknown:business bestie she says there was a lady on the internet, who
Unknown:movement to her meant just getting out of bed and moving
Unknown:her hand to start with any movement is good movement. Mm
Unknown:hmm. When I first had the accident and broke my neck, all
Unknown:I could move was my eyes. And it hurt the back of my neck soul
Unknown:that. But the physiotherapist told me just move your eyes side
Unknown:to side for two minutes at a time. And what it did was it
Unknown:exercise the muscles of the back of my neck, we'd be surprised at
Unknown:how gentle specific movements create change. And you got to
Unknown:start somewhere.
Melissa Deally:Absolutely. And it's always the baby steps, you
Melissa Deally:don't want to just start with something massive, because that
Melissa Deally:can cause further damage or further pain. And then that gets
Melissa Deally:you stuck again. But if you start with a little baby steps,
Melissa Deally:even if there's a little bit of pain, that's a baby step that
Melissa Deally:you can tolerate. That allows you to build strength and build
Melissa Deally:that muscle so that you can do more.
Unknown:Absolutely. And that's so beautiful. Like life will
Unknown:tell us when we're on the right track. Just like you said, with
Unknown:balancing your health, your body will tell you if you're eating
Unknown:the wrong, wrong nutritional things for your body. It
Unknown:actually screams at you as heartburn. If you get
Unknown:gastrointestinal pain, gallbladder attacks, you listen
Unknown:to your body say I wonder what my body's trying to tell me. And
Unknown:actually listen,
Melissa Deally:I'm always sharing that, right? Because
Melissa Deally:we're rushing through life. And so often we just don't slow down
Melissa Deally:to listen just because of societal norms of do more, do
Melissa Deally:more and these expectations and we're raising families and, you
Melissa Deally:know, but look at you, you were had five children and going to
Melissa Deally:university and everything else, right? When we slow down and
Melissa Deally:listen to what our body's telling us. We can actually hear
Melissa Deally:it, and then know what to do. And the other thing is to know
Melissa Deally:that these symptoms are our body asking us to do something
Melissa Deally:differently. They're not simply just, hey, I'm getting old. Hey,
Melissa Deally:I've got seasonal allergies, hey, I've got bad genes, and
Melissa Deally:we'll just ignore it. Right? They're actually our body asking
Melissa Deally:us to do something differently and take different action.
Unknown:Absolutely. And that is the benefit of incorporating a
Unknown:health educator into your life and incorporating other voices
Unknown:that are going to show you to help you grow. self care is so
Unknown:important in our lives today that a lot of people go go go,
Unknown:and then they get that wake up call. You know, and they're
Unknown:wondering, what happened. I was doing everything right. I don't
Unknown:know where this is coming from. But if you actually stop and
Unknown:listen and say, Actually, I do know where this is coming. And
Unknown:you can see it like a red flag waving over your whole entire
Unknown:universe. If I was only listening, if I only stopped and
Unknown:slowed down, when's the last time I sat at my table, and
Unknown:allowed my body to digest a meal? When is the last time I
Unknown:dipped my toes in the sand, and spent some time enjoying my own
Unknown:company? Do you know these things are so important, I'm 53
Unknown:years old. And people say, Oh, you look like you're in your
Unknown:early 40s. Or no, I have respect for my body. I have respect for
Unknown:my environment, I have respect for the relationships I have. I
Unknown:have respect for the people I choose to associate with.
Unknown:Because you are who you keep company with you are, who you
Unknown:feed your mind. You are who you feed your body, you are who you
Unknown:put into every realm of your environment. And when you pay
Unknown:attention to that, your body doesn't go into dis ease.
Melissa Deally:I agree 100%. And I'm also 53 years old. So
Unknown:there you go. I wouldn't have known that.
Melissa Deally:Same thing. People say that to me all the
Melissa Deally:time. And I tell my clients that I feel as good or better than I
Melissa Deally:did in my 30s or 20s. Because I've learned how to do this,
Melissa Deally:I've learned how to take care of my body, how to create a body
Melissa Deally:that's inhospitable to disease. And now that I know that I want
Melissa Deally:to share it with the world too, because why not? I didn't grow
Melissa Deally:up learning it. I when I was in the corporate world, I didn't
Melissa Deally:know it. It wasn't until I had that shift in my life of being
Melissa Deally:let go. And then figuring out what am I going to do next. And
Melissa Deally:finding my way into health coaching, that I started to
Melissa Deally:learn this, and how powerful it is when we choose to take
Melissa Deally:proactive action in our health, and how quickly the body
Melissa Deally:responds when we create an environment for it to heal, and
Melissa Deally:how amazing you feel. And I love to ask my clients, just how good
Melissa Deally:are you willing to allow yourself to
Unknown:feel? Will that look for you? Mm hmm. If you can walk
Unknown:upstairs without running out of breath? Yes, you can stand and
Unknown:cook a meal and sit and enjoy it. Yes. When when you don't
Unknown:have to rush to grab a meal on your way. When you get up on the
Unknown:first alarm of your phone, or better yet, when you get up
Unknown:without setting an alarm, because your body is so
Unknown:responsive to the messages, you feed it. Those things are really
Unknown:important, because then you are in total control of your life.
Unknown:Things happen that are out of your control. like car
Unknown:accidents, like Ill like, I think illness A lot of times is
Unknown:within our control to certain extent of what we can do. I
Unknown:agree. Yeah. And there are some things that arguably are out of
Unknown:our control, you know, things going on around the world and
Unknown:things like that. But things we can't change we should not busy
Unknown:our minds with exactly,
Melissa Deally:you know, dress because it's out of our control.
Melissa Deally:And when we feel out of control that just adds to our stress. So
Melissa Deally:those are the times when we really need to choose to focus
Melissa Deally:on what we can control and bring ourselves down to that place so
Melissa Deally:we can release that stress.
Unknown:Absolutely. And that is a real, it takes practice. It
Unknown:really does to unbusy your mind, one of one of my mentors and the
Unknown:authors that I I have read a lot of his material. Jon Kabat Zinn
Unknown:is really good with that teaching that the art of doing
Unknown:nothing. mindfulness strategies that that helped me with because
Unknown:my mind was always racing, and oh my gosh, I've got to do this.
Unknown:I've got to do that. I've got it. Who said so? Who said I
Unknown:choose? Right? Yes, I have to show up at work on time. Yes, I
Unknown:have to keep my commitments because I have integrity. But
Unknown:really do a value check with yourself. When I book this, how
Unknown:important is it to me? Am I overextending myself? Do Am I
Unknown:surrounding myself with people that I choose to be associating
Unknown:with, and really book yourself wisely so that you can have the
Unknown:integrity to be there. Those things are important.
Melissa Deally:They are and it comes back to two little words
Melissa Deally:that we so often use the wrong way. And that's yes and no. And
Melissa Deally:when we ask ourselves those questions, we might feel a whole
Melissa Deally:lot more comfortable saying no. When we say no to others, we're
Melissa Deally:saying yes to ourselves. And that's learned too because so
Melissa Deally:many of us are raised to say yes and help everyone else all the
Melissa Deally:time. And that was definitely me. And learning to say no To
Melissa Deally:others allows us to say yes to ourselves and be in integrity,
Melissa Deally:and be able to find the time to create a self care routine
Unknown:for ourselves. I agree wholeheartedly, like I go
Unknown:through this little checklist, why am I doing this? Do do my
Unknown:values align with the person I'm meeting with? You know, I never
Unknown:do anything based on money. That's my first response. Yeah.
Unknown:Am I meeting with this person? Like, I even do this with
Unknown:clients? Am I meeting with this person, because I truly believe
Unknown:that my skills, attributes and values align with what they're
Unknown:seeking, or should I recommend them to another coach,
Unknown:psychologist or otherwise? Because when we do that, we're
Unknown:in alignment with our authenticity. And that is so
Unknown:important to me. And so I really go through a checklist, when I'm
Unknown:going to make a decision, it's the decision making matrix. Do
Unknown:you know, and that is part of self care. It's like when I show
Unknown:up for work every day, because I do work as a financial aid
Unknown:worker with the Ministry of Social Development during the
Unknown:day, because I choose to be there for people in a way that I
Unknown:can assist them during the day. And I do speaking on my days
Unknown:off, because I have days off as well, I show up for others in
Unknown:the community, because pain education is important to me. So
Unknown:that I can maybe offer something that someone hasn't considered
Unknown:for them to be their best selves, and build their toolbox
Unknown:to wellness. And so it's important for me to share my
Unknown:journey to be there for others so that they can see
Unknown:possibility.
Melissa Deally:Exactly, I was just gonna say, because you
Melissa Deally:become their inspiration, just as you sought to find someone
Melissa Deally:else who done it as your inspiration. You can now do that
Melissa Deally:for others. And everything happens for a reason. Right? And
Melissa Deally:the fact that you've been able to go from wheels to heels,
Melissa Deally:which I absolutely love. And, you know, we hear of these
Melissa Deally:stories, but there's so few and far between, right, that for
Melissa Deally:some people, they might feel like, well, you know, there's
Melissa Deally:only a few people that have ever done that. And that's not me.
Melissa Deally:But the reality is, is if you're going to have that attitude that
Melissa Deally:that's not me, then no, you're not going to be able to achieve
Melissa Deally:that. But if you instead step into really understanding your
Melissa Deally:story, and being inspired by it, and knowing that, well, if she
Melissa Deally:can do it, I can do it, too. That's where you can do it.
Unknown:That's what I hope for others.
Melissa Deally:I love that you're sharing it, because it is
Melissa Deally:so so powerful.
Unknown:I really appreciate that. It is important to show up
Unknown:for others. That is my purpose. That is my passion. And it's
Unknown:truly why I started doing what I do rather than becoming a
Unknown:lawyer. Yeah. Because I thought, hmm, enter into an adversarial
Unknown:system, where it's whoever can argue better. Or, or teach
Unknown:people through my journey. Mm hmm. And, you know, what, it
Unknown:wasn't that hard of a decision.
Melissa Deally:is truly which is more powerful, right? Yes.
Melissa Deally:Which serves humanity more, which is more, you know, brings
Melissa Deally:you more joy, which is more fulfilling for you, right? That
Melissa Deally:adversarial arguments situation, you know, that can create a lot
Melissa Deally:of, you know, angst in your body, which can actually lead to
Melissa Deally:further health issues, right. Whereas sharing something that
Melissa Deally:you love, and that you're passionate about, in that place
Melissa Deally:of giving to others. There's no angst that doesn't cause disease
Melissa Deally:in your body that allows for continued healing and continued
Melissa Deally:self care and being able to live in that place of love and joy.
Melissa Deally:Absolutely.
Unknown:I love that I was able to reach them to work in a
Unknown:position that I love doing. Mm hmm. I love showing up with
Unknown:compassion, or people that are considered dispensable. Yeah,
Unknown:you know, and I feel like I was put in that position for a
Unknown:reason. Because I've seen what it's like to be discarded. I
Unknown:grew up in a trailer park in Kamloops. My parents struggled
Unknown:my whole life. And I wanted to break the generational groups.
Unknown:So I did. And now I'm on this side of the counter, but I can
Unknown:relate to the other side. Yes. And I'm blessed to be in that
Unknown:position. I'm blessed to be a pain educator.
Melissa Deally:Again in that position you're showing Showing
Melissa Deally:them, it's possible. And they don't have to accept the way
Melissa Deally:they were raised as being all they can ever achieve, that
Melissa Deally:there's so much more, because you've, you're showing them that
Melissa Deally:every day.
Unknown:Yes, and thank you. It's, we can go from the
Unknown:corporate world. But I also understand that when your life
Unknown:is in the hands of someone else, you can be let go at any time.
Unknown:Like I said, you know, and then what. So I choose to be an
Unknown:entrepreneur, and an employee, and volunteer in my community.
Unknown:Because my children have started their own lives now, my youngest
Unknown:is 18, they don't need me as much. So I can have good work
Unknown:business life balance on my terms. So now I get to do the
Unknown:things that I really, truly love to do in life, enjoy my
Unknown:grandchildren, enjoy education, enjoy work. And when you're
Unknown:living in your power, and by your choice on your terms, life
Unknown:is joyful, life is beautiful. And I can control my pain by
Unknown:just living in power. Mm hmm.
Melissa Deally:And when you're living in power, whatever you're
Melissa Deally:doing as your work, doesn't feel like work in that negative sense
Melissa Deally:of work, right? It's like, Yay, I get to show up and do this
Melissa Deally:every day, further, allowing you to live in that place of joy.
Melissa Deally:But how many people out there today are disengaged in their
Melissa Deally:work and hate their job and are, you know, counting down the
Melissa Deally:hours and days and months to retirement? Too many. And you
Melissa Deally:know, through this pandemic, we're kind of at that place of
Melissa Deally:the great resignation. And so many people that, you know,
Melissa Deally:build a life working at home and improve their life as a result
Melissa Deally:of it, you know, going for walks in the middle of the day with
Melissa Deally:their husband, or having more time with their children,
Melissa Deally:because they don't have to commute two hours a day. And now
Melissa Deally:saying, I don't want to go back to work, and quitting their jobs
Melissa Deally:to find jobs that allow them to still work from home or starting
Melissa Deally:businesses, etc, etc. Because people have had that experience
Melissa Deally:shift forced upon them for long enough that they figured out a
Melissa Deally:way to make it a better life. And I'm actually really enjoying
Melissa Deally:seeing that happen. And I'm really proud of the companies
Melissa Deally:that are adapting to that and recognizing that if they have
Melissa Deally:happy employees, that their business is going to thrive,
Melissa Deally:versus the companies that say, Nope, it's over, you have to
Melissa Deally:come back to work. Right? They're not going to thrive.
Unknown:I wholeheartedly agree with, you know, Richard Branson,
Unknown:who runs the Virgin empire? He says employees first, yes, it
Unknown:should be, and you'll have better customer service, you
Unknown:will have better retention, you know, if your labor force is
Unknown:your biggest expense, it makes sense to invest in? Yes. Do you
Unknown:know I? Oh, my goodness, we could, I could literally talk to
Unknown:you all day, because I have the same value system.
Melissa Deally:And that statement that you've just said,
Melissa Deally:so perfectly relates to our health as well, right? If you
Melissa Deally:see your health as your greatest asset, it makes sense to invest
Melissa Deally:in it. Right? You know, our house, people think of their
Melissa Deally:houses their greatest asset or their car, well, we invest in
Melissa Deally:our house, we vacuum and clean and fix things when they're
Melissa Deally:broken and renovate. And we take our car for oil changes and
Melissa Deally:services on a regular basis, so it doesn't break down. But what
Melissa Deally:are we doing to be proactive in the same way in our health? Not
Melissa Deally:enough in most cases, because we don't have a mindset that our
Melissa Deally:health is our greatest asset yet. Because we've been raised
Melissa Deally:to believe we don't have to worry about our health. If we
Melissa Deally:get sick, we'll just go to the doctor and they'll make us
Melissa Deally:better. And that's their problem, not ours. But our
Melissa Deally:health truly is our responsibility. And as you've
Melissa Deally:learned that the decisions we make around our health will
Melissa Deally:drive our health outcomes.
Unknown:Most definitely. And, you know, a pan BC, which is
Unknown:nonprofit organization, and you see the education series that
Unknown:they're putting out there is really engaging patients to be
Unknown:their primary caregiver. I love that your house? Yes, exactly.
Unknown:Take care of your house. You don't know how to repair your
Unknown:house. Call an expert. Yes, exactly. Oh, an educator. Yes,
Unknown:yes. specialists call them call the plumber. Follow the roofer
Unknown:over whatever you need to do but educate yourself. You will save
Unknown:yourself in the long run. Not necessarily what is
Unknown:prescriptions are so expensive. But this is why, you know, I
Unknown:really strongly, strongly suggest to choose purpose over
Unknown:appeal. Yes. Because when you have a purpose and joy, you
Unknown:really start to make changes through pursuing that
Unknown:fulfillment. And you make changes and you start to pay
Unknown:attention to when you feel your best self. Mm hmm. You know, and
Unknown:the more that we can get that message out there through your
Unknown:podcast, through through education through public
Unknown:speaking through awareness through the Wake Up Calls, one
Unknown:of my friend calls it the feather the brick the semi.
Melissa Deally:Yep, that's Jessica. I learned that from
Melissa Deally:Jessica. And I guess all I use, I use the feather the brick and
Melissa Deally:the wrecking ball. But yes,
Unknown:my friend Remar Remar, Rasmus, she, she taught that to
Unknown:me, and then I taught it to Jessica, and it just spreads
Unknown:through the, our community. Yeah, the universe will give you
Unknown:a little feather, you might get a little cough. And then if
Unknown:you're still not listening to the habits that you have, it'll
Unknown:give you a break. And then in my case, that hit me with a
Unknown:LinkedIn.
Melissa Deally:That's the wrecking wall, right?
Unknown:It'll tell you, you're on the wrong path. Listen,
Unknown:listen, listen, your body's gonna tell you you're, it's
Unknown:screaming at you. Do you know, if you constantly have digestive
Unknown:issues? I recommend that they call you or call me or call
Unknown:Jessica, you know, like, seriously, reach out to someone
Unknown:who has done the research or has the lived experience. If you
Unknown:don't think it's possible for you reach out to one of us in
Unknown:your community that has really done the work to show you that
Unknown:it's possible for you. Yep. Because we made we all have made
Unknown:the impossible possible. Career wise, health wise, recovery
Unknown:wise, life wise, when trauma hits you? How long are you going
Unknown:to drink the poison expecting someone else to die? Yep.
Unknown:Healing is possible. It doesn't change what happened. You know,
Unknown:I was hit by a drunk driver. They're like, Oh, my gosh, do
Unknown:you hate him? Now? I'm like, No. Do you think he got in that car
Unknown:and then intentionally just grabbed his car and threw it at
Unknown:me? No, I choose to be joyful. I choose to walk in heels, I
Unknown:choose to not let my past dictate my present or my future.
Unknown:I choose to share my story, period.
Melissa Deally:And choosing to be joyful, allows your body and
Melissa Deally:cells to be vibrating at a higher level and allows for
Melissa Deally:health versus choosing to be hateful and bitter. That brings
Melissa Deally:you down and again keeps that angst inside you that causes
Melissa Deally:disease down the path. Right? And, you know, on this health
Melissa Deally:journey, I also want to share exactly what you said at the
Melissa Deally:very beginning, get a second opinion. Right, you are your you
Melissa Deally:know, you said primary practice, you know, be your own primary
Melissa Deally:practitioner, I love to say your own best doctor, because you've
Melissa Deally:lived in your body your whole life. So if you think
Melissa Deally:something's wrong, if you're trying to listen to the symptoms
Melissa Deally:and trying to understand them, and somebody is telling you,
Melissa Deally:there's nothing wrong with you, where they've given you a
Melissa Deally:diagnosis that you don't think is right. Again, you don't have
Melissa Deally:to take that on, you can get a second opinion. You can find
Melissa Deally:other people that can support you in this journey.
Unknown:Most definitely. And I love that we're all have the
Unknown:same mindset. Because like you said, You've lived in your body
Unknown:your whole life. But I will say if you look for something,
Unknown:you'll find something.
Melissa Deally:Yes. And that's where Dr. Google is terrible.
Melissa Deally:And I tell people to stay off it. Don't self diagnose, because
Melissa Deally:anybody can self diagnose on Dr. Google that they're going to die
Melissa Deally:in the next 36 hours. Yes, right. And wake up. I've had
Melissa Deally:clients call me in a panic, right? Because they've started a
Melissa Deally:protocol and their bodies, you know, had a reaction to it, and
Melissa Deally:then they're freaking out. And they're all you know, on on Dr.
Melissa Deally:Google, and now they're gonna die in 36 hours. And I have to
Melissa Deally:talk them down and calm them down and ask them not to go
Melissa Deally:looking on the internet again. And and you know, they're still
Melissa Deally:here, months, a month later. Right. And all we had to do was
Melissa Deally:just adjust a few things. Right? And, yeah, so self diagnosis is
Melissa Deally:never a great idea. Definitely seek help of practitioners and
Melissa Deally:people that are, you know, trained that can guide you and
Melissa Deally:help you. But it's a journey and it's in partnership, because you
Melissa Deally:still are your own best doctor, and you know what's best for
Melissa Deally:you. When you have the guidance of someone that can kind of show
Melissa Deally:you this particular path because you haven't been on it before so
Melissa Deally:you don't know that part. But once you get started, you know
Melissa Deally:it's best for you.
Unknown:I will say learn to say no. If you Meet someone that
Unknown:doesn't resonate with you. Absolutely. Thank you. But no.
Unknown:If there's no problem in saying no, say yes to you, because it's
Unknown:your health journey. Yeah, if someone doesn't resonate with
Unknown:you choose someone else.
Melissa Deally:Absolutely, I 100% agree. So as we wrap up
Melissa Deally:here, I've loved this conversation, as you said, we
Melissa Deally:could talk for hours, we could do a whole other episode. But
Melissa Deally:you've mentioned this a few times, of course, the episode,
Melissa Deally:the podcast name is don't wait for your wake up call. So what
Melissa Deally:does that mean to you here? Now, in this moment,
Unknown:you don't change what you're doing today. I want you
Unknown:to think about, for me, I thought about where will I be in
Unknown:a year, if I stay the same in the wheelchair? Where will I be
Unknown:where my wherever my children be, more importantly, if I
Unknown:didn't do the work, so I really had to evaluate. So my wake up
Unknown:call was, I'm not going to be stuck in this bed. For me, it
Unknown:was, I'm going to use every thing in my toolbox. And look at
Unknown:everything possible to prove the doctors wrong. So my wake up
Unknown:call was the universe, my Creator, didn't want me to be a
Unknown:lawyer. I was on the wrong trajectory. So I am a healer, in
Unknown:the sense of, I'm my own healer. And I'm here to guide people
Unknown:down the path to becoming their own healer. Because I think none
Unknown:of us are healers in that sense of the word. I don't like the
Unknown:word, but we are our own healers, when we listen to our
Unknown:bodies. So my wake up call was, I wasn't supposed to be a
Unknown:lawyer. And this whole experience I hold nothing better
Unknown:because it was meant to be. And I am so blessed that I gained
Unknown:the gifts that I did through it, because it showed me just how
Unknown:strong I can be and other people will learn from my journey of
Unknown:wheels to heels. I love it.
Melissa Deally:And you have a book with that title as well. So
Melissa Deally:how can people get hold of your book and learn, you know, go
Melissa Deally:deeper into your story and be further inspired? Because we're
Melissa Deally:just touching the surface here? And how can they get hold of you
Melissa Deally:as well? Okay,
Unknown:so I'm not quite finished writing the book
Unknown:because I keep revising it. Actually, she didn't want me to
Unknown:write it because she was very proud. And she thought that my
Unknown:story would just traumatize people. And so trigger morning
Unknown:when you read the book, but I do put that in the foreword. So by
Unknown:the summer, we should have it released on Amazon. And so but
Unknown:people can get a hold of me on my website, which is www dot
Unknown:guided path wellness.com. Or you can email me at Tanya teal and
Unknown:ya at guided path wellness calm. And I am so open to conversation
Unknown:about pain management, about education, I have been trained
Unknown:by pain, VC. And I'm also a Tony Robbins Madonna's coach, a lot
Unknown:of education there, but also lived experience. And I'm always
Unknown:willing to conversate with people who have chronic pain. So
Unknown:those two avenues are the best to get a hold of me. We also
Unknown:have wellness Wednesdays which is tonight where we talk about
Unknown:chronic pain, joy, how to bring more joy into your life, Jessica
Unknown:Coulthard and I hold those meetings every Wednesday night,
Unknown:just to have a conversation with you about your health. So and
Unknown:what matters to you, and your health journey. So that's about
Unknown:me and what I do. And if you mentioned this podcast, I will
Unknown:give you $20 off your session with pain education and pain
Unknown:management. And I also do personal development consulting.
Unknown:So if you mentioned that you saw me on Melissa dealies podcast,
Unknown:you will get $20 off your sessions. So that's the gift I'm
Unknown:giving to you.
Melissa Deally:Thank you so much for sharing that gift with
Melissa Deally:the audience. And I'll make sure all of that is in the show
Melissa Deally:notes. And you do have a long list of credentials from all of
Melissa Deally:your ongoing studies, etc, etc. So all of that's in the show
Melissa Deally:notes for everyone to see as well. And yeah, anybody that's
Melissa Deally:struggling with chronic pain reach out or if you just want to
Melissa Deally:be inspired or know someone who's struggling with, you know,
Melissa Deally:recovery from pain right now, please share this podcast
Melissa Deally:because it needs to get into the hands of people that need to
Melissa Deally:hear it. So thank you so much for joining me today. Tanya,
Melissa Deally:this has been amazing. Just before we leave, please share
Melissa Deally:one tip with the audience on helping them actually get
Melissa Deally:started and take action today.
Unknown:No matter what you're going through, it doesn't
Unknown:necessarily have to be pain, no matter what you're going
Unknown:through. If you want to find possibility in your life, seek
Unknown:out someone who's done it before you and find that it is
Unknown:possible. I did it, you can do it. Bigger, small, celebrate the
Unknown:small wins, because they matter to make the impossible possible
Unknown:for you. Because it was possible for me to achieve small things
Unknown:and big things by that principle. Anything's possible.
Unknown:You just have to believe in you. And you matter. I love that.
Melissa Deally:Well, thank you so much, Tanya, thank you to the
Melissa Deally:audience for listening. I hope you found this podcast super
Melissa Deally:inspiring. It is the theme of the month of April 2022. And
Melissa Deally:thanks for listening and look forward to having you join me
Melissa Deally:again next time.
Melissa Deally:Thank you for investing this time with me on the don't wait
Melissa Deally:for your wake up call Podcast. I'm so glad you joined in. If
Melissa Deally:you can take two minutes to share this episode with someone
Melissa Deally:you think can benefit and have a positive impact on their life.
Melissa Deally:That would be wonderful. Please leave a review by going to your
Melissa Deally:favorite podcast listening app. And let me know what you enjoy
Melissa Deally:or would like to hear more of it will support me in my effort to
Melissa Deally:bring the possibility of natural healing to a wider audience and
Melissa Deally:help disrupt the sick care system we have today and make
Melissa Deally:human health the global priority. Health is your true