How to Create Your Own Success?

When you experience a loss like that you think about life differently and in the space I had to grieve, I began to question how I wanted to live my life. What would make me truly happy what would make me feel successful between navigating my grief and grappling with the magnitude of what direction my life should take next, it's no wonder I couldn't sleep at night, I weighed the options. Option one returned to my job. But that would mean going back to getting the kids out of bed by 6am, to drop them at a day home and essentially having someone else raise them for 11 hours a day. It also meant commuting to the city spending over two hours a day on the road, and drinking all the coffee just to feel somewhat human. I literally brought a thermos with me to refill my go mug while we were driving down the highway. And that all sounded exhausting and like sacrificing my sanity along with quality time with my kids. So option two was to figure something else out. And I knew that working was important to me, I would go crazy if I didn't do some kind of work that felt like I was using my brain and contributing. I wanted to feel impactful. So isn't that what success ultimately is.

This is the Entrepreneur School Podcast where we believe you can run a thriving business and still make your family a priority. This show is all about supporting you the emerging or early stage Entrepreneur on your journey from solopreneur to CEO while wearing all of the other hats in your life. My name is Kelly Sinclair and I'm a brand and marketing strategist who started a business with two kids under 3am, a corporate PR girl turned entrepreneur after I learned the hard way that life is too short to waste doing things that burn you out. On this show, you'll hear inspiring stories from other business owners on their journey, and learn strategies to help you grow a profitable business while making it all fit into the life that you want. Welcome to Entrepreneur School.

So I'm going to do something a little sentimental today, I just have felt called to share this particular story with you. And as I'm recording this, it is March the 10th. So this week, and next week are two fairly traumatic weeks in my memory, and in my life, because we are now approaching the six year anniversary of my mom's passing from breast cancer, which was a an experience. Obviously, very sad and very stressful and, honestly traumatizing for me and my family. And while I talk about it, when I reflect back on it, I know that it was something that caused me to have so much realization, in terms of what I was doing with my life with my career, how I was spending my time how I was not spending my time, which was a lot with my kids, they were three and one in 2017 when when we lost my mom, and I was on the road all the time going to the office. And you know, when you're a parent, you know those the witching hours are like the hour and a half before bedtime. And that's pretty much all I got with my kids every day. And I thought what is going on, this is not what I signed up for this is not the kind of mom that I want to be. But you know, it takes a lot to change your situation to do something so drastic as to to leave your job and start your own business. I didn't even have that on my radar at the time. But I essentially looked for the silver lining in the last that I experienced and felt that ultimately the universe was pointing me in a different direction and that this was the gal that I needed. Because it was clearly not listening to the whispers that were already happening. So what I wanted to do today is actually read you Wow, this looks at the clock. It's 1111 I always know that's my mom when I see the clock and 1111 So here we go. This is definitely what I'm supposed to be doing right now. I want to read you a chapter that I wrote in a book in 2021. And the book is called creating impact the ultimate guide for purpose driven entrepreneurs. I'll put believe if you want to copy, it's a compilation with several other entrepreneurs sharing their stories and perspectives. And it's really interesting to listen for me to read this now, especially two years after being in the current state I was when I wrote this book. So I think part of why I wanted to share this was just to like, even for myself, remind myself of how far I have come. And that's something that you can do as well, is look back at last month, last year, last five years, whatever, and take a look at where you were, and now where you are, because we tend to not notice those things on the day to day, but ultimately there are, there's big progress that you've made, there's huge shifts that you that you've been able to deal with, there's tragedies and hardships and adversity and success and all of it that has happened, I'm sure in your life. And this is my request to you, that you acknowledge yourself for it. Self, I am chapter seven, and I'm just going to read this and I might cry, they might get emotional. So thank you for being here with me. And the title of the chapter is why I don't need six figures to feel successful. Mom is in an ambulance, she had a seizure, eight days. That's how long it was between the time I made the most important decision of my life and realizing that it was the most important decision of my life. I was 30 years old and basically doing life by the books, married to my high school sweetheart have two beautiful children. And it worked in my chosen career, which is PR. I was checking off all of the boxes in those big milestones, and generally I was happy. But that call from my dad put it all into perspective. Even though I knew I could get a bad news call like this, I still wasn't ready for it. My mom had breast cancer. She had been battling valiantly for three years, but it had spread to her brain and things were on the downturn. You know, when you receive bad news and your body just goes into crisis response mode. I was numb, unsure of what to do. But at the same time, I knew I had to do something. In the moments following that call driving to the hospital. I began reevaluating everything in my life. I question what mattered. While it was very clear to me that I had to focus on what was happening in front of my eyes with my mom. I couldn't help but feel a tinge of guilt. I didn't know how long we would be at the hospital with her. And I started thinking about the longer term. What about my job? What about the projects I was leading? How would my team handle it if I just dropped everything in their laps. I was fortunate to have a supportive leader at my firm who had experienced her own personal losses and empathize with what I was going through. The questions loomed largely Should I stay at my job and risk not having time with my mom, or leave everything I had worked towards in my career. I was so afraid of making the wrong decision. And my mom was one of the most selfless people ever. She never wanted anyone to go out of their way to change their plans for her. She wouldn't even let me drive her to chemo appointments. So she was not exactly outwardly supportive of me leaving my job. Even though we didn't want to admit it. Our family knew this seizure signal, the end was coming. Mom had been released from the hospital to live out her days in the comfort of her home. And I hated the feeling of having no control or any of this. It was so unfair. I wanted her forever. I wanted her to know my girls and them to know her. They were only one and three at the time. But there was no control in this situation. I felt like the only thing I could do was make the choice on how I would spend my remaining time with her. So I decided to take a leave of absence from work. My dad and younger brother had their annual golf trip planned for the week following the seizure. And mom insisted that they go, so I went out to stay with her. While they were away. My husband took care of our girls and that night, we watched cheesy TV shows about ghosts and then ghosts, no ghosts, and then had a fascinating conversation about psychics. It was silly but a really lovely night. The next morning I woke to her seizing on the floor in the kitchen. As the paramedics got her stabilized and into the ambulance. I found my dad and brother to get on a plane to come home. And eight days later we lost her.

And when you experience a loss like that you think about life differently and in the space I had to grieve. I began to question how I wanted to live my life. What would make me truly happy what would make me feel successful between navigating my grief and grappling At the magnitude of what direction my life should take next, it's no wonder I couldn't sleep at night, I weighed the options, option one returned to my job. But that would mean going back to getting the kids out of bed by 6am, to drop them at a day home, and essentially having someone else raise them for 11 hours a day. It also meant commuting to the city, spending over two hours a day on the road, and drinking all the coffee just to feel somewhat human. I literally brought a thermos with me to refill my go mug while we were driving down the highway. And that all sounded exhausting and like sacrificing my sanity along with quality time with my kids. So option two was to figure something else out. And I knew that working was important to me, how would go crazy if I didn't do some kind of work that felt like I was using my brain and contributing, I want it to feel impactful. So isn't that what success ultimately is?

There's a lot of confusion out there about the definition of success. We're told it looks like a good relationship, family, career and of course, money. I had a lot of those things. But something in me was still missing. It was the career piece primarily I enjoyed my work, it was challenging was teaching me a lot. But I just didn't have or maybe feel a purposeful connection to it. I was too far removed from the impact, I had no ownership of my clients successes. I read somewhere that we spent a third of our lives working. That's 33%. And then it clicked. When work isn't a source of joy. We can feel out of alignment, unhappy, unsuccessful. There's a feeling of lack and not enoughness. And that's how I felt. I decided success is directly connected to joy. I told myself, I would stop doing things that didn't bring me joy, especially when it came to my work. I began exploring what would bring me joy in my work. My career background is in public relations and communications. It's a broad skill set with tons of applications. And that's why I love it. There's so much variety. I didn't think I wanted to be an entrepreneur, I thought that it would be lonely. The idea was scary. I remember the exact moment though, when I went from saying I'm thinking of starting my own business to I'm starting my own business. There was this business networking event happening, and I decided to go so I hopped online, I designed some quick business cards, and I had them rush printed so they would be ready in time for the event as communications was born. That was how it all started. I began consulting with small businesses and secured a great client in the local Tourism Association. My only real goal at the time was to make enough money to cover my childcare expenses. At first, I wanted to work part time and help local businesses. The idea of growing an empire wasn't for me. It's funny how things change over time. Because now I write a goal. I'm a seven figure CEO. Every day, my journal, I now run a digital business serving clients across North America through my courses and coaching programs. I also run a global virtual summit multiple times a year. You know, interject here, I am now also a podcast host.

Hey, I just want to pop in for a second and chat with you a little bit about content creation, you know that thing that you know that you're supposed to do in order to get visibility and find clients online? And you know, you're just not finding time to actually do that thing? Because it can be overwhelming to think about? What am I supposed to write? What videos should I be sharing? Where am I going to have the time to make all of the beautiful graphics that go along with having a lovely Instagram page, all of the things? Well, I made for you a tool called the simplified content system. And inside of this, you're gonna find exactly what I use to be able to plan and create all of my content in an hour a week. So it's a calendar that you can edit that you can put in what you're doing where for any kind of platforms, whether you're using Instagram, other social medias, whether you're doing email marketing, whether you're on YouTube, all of it can go in one place that links nicely to this beautiful caption document. And I've also created a number of trainings and templates for you to make it even easier to get your content out and into the world so that you can be seen so that you can get clients and so that you still have time to go to all of your kids sports activities. Okay, so you can grab it at entrepreneurschool.ca/content.

It was probably a lack of confidence in my abilities that caused me to play small. I didn't set big goals for the first year at least. Now I know what entrepreneurship is. It's an experiment you Try things. Sometimes they work sometimes they don't. And after four years of entrepreneurship, the time of writing this book, I've learned a number of things about success. Sometimes it feels like an elusive target we wonder if we will ever hit. Naturally we tend to tie success to money because we can measure that. Or is it because society has conditioned us to believe that's what success is all about? The problem with chasing success defined by money is that you'll never attain it. You'll just keep moving the goalposts every time you get closer, you always want more, you never feel enough. I've learned that the only way to be successful is to know what success means. Success is subjective. You have to define it for yourself. What does success look like for you? Here's some of the ways I define my success. I walk my kids to school every day. We have family dinners. I don't ask permission to have an appointment during business hours. I commute to my basement office. I am empowered to make choices in alignment with my values. I took the risk and put myself out there to start my own business.

Often, entrepreneurs are ambitious, goal oriented action takers. But sometimes we can move through things so fast and not even acknowledge the success along the journey. In fact, Success is a journey, not a destination. I was working with a high performance coach one year, and all of our sessions started the same way she would ask what wins Have you had since our last call? I knew the question was coming. But I couldn't think of anything until we talked for a few minutes. Then I realized I had actually accomplished things. I launched a workshop, built my website, and won a freaking national marketing award. But I had just heard on to the next, what's next brutal and later discovered why I do this. My mom had health problems my whole life, and I was in and out of hospital regularly with her. As a family, we adapted the mindset of just keep moving forward, don't dwell it will be better tomorrow. I excelled at applying this philosophy in 2007. My mom was in a terrible car accident. And I remember being with her in the ICU one day and writing up final college exam the next. It's a great coping skill to be able to do this or so it may seem. But I realized later I was also leaving the good things behind.

How to find the right balance. My awareness of this came from an exercise I want to share with you and a practice I use that I hope you'll consider adopting as well. If you feel like you weren't successful, or you have a hard time acknowledging yourself for the wins, here's what you journal for 30 minutes, set a timer. about all the things you've ever done in your life that feels like success to you. Go back to your childhood include your recent accomplishments as well. Don't set any standards of what qualifies. Just write it all down. Let it flow out of you. Here are some examples to prompt your thinking, winning a soccer tournament as a kid landing a role in the school play. Being the class president, your GPA, getting married, having a family, overcoming adversities you faced writing, read it, embed it. Embedding it is the hardest part. So I created a process that I use and I share with my clients to help with the embedding success. I call it the wind sheet. It's simple, really all you need is a blank piece of paper. Use these prompts every day. What's something I did today that felt like progress. Today, I stepped out of my comfort zone and did this. I'm proud of myself for a way I helped someone else was. That's it. Keep adding to the same piece of paper every day until it's full and then start another one. Keep them where you can look at them often. Make sure to read them every day. Let's be clear. Some days you won't feel like you did anything that qualifies as a win. There's a fitness term called rate of perceived exertion is a concept that actually asks you to assess your level of exertion on a scale of one to 10 one being that you're sleeping 10 being that you feel like you're pushing so hard, you might collapse. I love it because it allows her fluctuation every day. Depending on how you slept. Whether you worked out the day before you had enough water, your 10 will look different every day.

I believe the same applies for success, your bar will move. Sometimes when the bar is lower, we need to own it. On those days things like getting your kids to school on time, cooking dinner or even showering may make your windshield and that's completely okay. Here's one more thing I want you to remember. Your version of success is yours alone. Your journey is different and you will experience it at your own pace. Don't compare yourself or anyone else along the way. I know you're thinking easier said than done, keep practicing. Right now you're reading a book about success stories, please don't put this down and think to yourself, it's nice for her. But I can't do that, in full transparency at the time of writing this, I do not yet run a six figure business, for some reason that some kind of industry benchmark for what successful means. But I am successful. Because I know what success means to me. And that's what I come back to whenever I start to feel others doubting me or I'm doubting myself. I think all that really matters is that I've made a decision to be successful. I'm passionate about what I do. I know that helping other business owners grow their businesses makes them happier. And the more people who are happy with their businesses, the happier the world becomes. That's the impact I'm here to make. And I'm so connected to that purpose that I know I will not quit. I've heard so many stories of successful entrepreneurs that share the same theme, passion and perseverance, a deep connection to their why and knowing why it matters, is how they keep moving forward and don't give up. Just like I watched my mom face each day with chronic pain, and then cancer. Her purpose was her family, she lived each day for us, and I can't imagine a better teacher of perseverance. And that's a skill I use daily, when things get tough in my life, or in my business, I know how to keep moving forward. And that is what success is all about. So just to reflect a little more now, I'm totally just going off how my what I'm feeling after reading that chapter and a couple of points that are very interesting, the title of the chapter being I don't need six figures to feel successful, and the mention of not having yet hit that six figure mark in my business. I actually did during the year that I that this book came out probably right around the time this book actually came out, which is interesting. Not that that again, is the only measure of success, because things have changed. They've things go like up and down with business finances all the time. And it's a good reminder to still be able to find successes and happiness and joy in the moments when you're maybe on one of the down swings, which has been the case for me also, again, since having hit that milestone so it comes and goes and it's a good reminder to focus on the little things and the ability to have a platform that you create for yourself to have a schedule that you create for yourself whatever it is, that's really an amazing benefit of being an entrepreneur that is not necessarily financially driven, is something that you should remind yourself of. And then I'm going to remind myself of is really what success is all about.