Pathways to Purpose: My Ascension Journey - Part 2 Awakening | EP106

Hello everybody. My name is Shannon Kym, and welcome to my podcast, Fulfillment In Faith. I am so excited, because what I am going to be talking about for about the next eight, nine weeks is I am going to be talking about my levels of ascension. So many people have asked me, Shannon, how did you get from where you are to where you are now? And I'll be honest with you, I couldn't really truly answer that question for everybody or anybody. What do I mean everybody? I mean anybody at that point in time, but I'm finally at that stage in my life where I can actually put it into words, because I have embodied all of the process of what I've done. I've really sat with myself, and this is a real teaching moment for everybody, and this is what I'm so so excited about. If you have not heard the last podcast, this is me talking about what my journey was, what my upbringing was like, and all of that. So if you have not listened to that podcast, I please ask that you go back to that so then you're caught up to where this podcast begins. So my first level of ascension is my spiritual awakening, and I want to explain to everybody. I call them my ascensions, because for each process or journey that I went through, I actually elevated. I ascended to the next version of myself, and on the vibration chart. That's where where I am. So prior to my awakening, I was at the lowest vibration on the vibration chart, and that was fear, depression, anxiety. That's where addiction lives like that's that's the worst of the worst, and that's where I lived basically my whole entire life, until I had my awakening, so I started to ascend out. That's where the ascension comes in. So I'm going to talk about my spiritual awakening. And that happened on August 17 of 2019 and I can remember waking up that day and I knew that things were totally, completely different from me. I didn't feel like my normal self. And the reason I'm saying that I didn't feel like my normal self was because every morning that I woke up prior to that, one of the first thoughts that came to my mind was I wanted a drink. I couldn't wait to get up so I could have my first glass of wine, believe it or not. And I always woke up in between 630 and 7am in the morning, and I can tell you truthfully that by 7am I would have a glass of wine. That's how sick I was, and that's how addicted to alcohol I was. But that morning, when I woke up, I decided, You know what, I am not going to have a drink ever for the rest of my life. And the reason I said that, and my thoughts were thinking that was because I was getting to the state of committing suicide. I was getting to be so dark again, I couldn't see even two inches in front of me. All I could see was black. I had no goals. I had no desires. There was nothing that was left there. Now you gotta understand that about a year and a half prior to that, I was in the same state where I was, you know, extremely suicidal. Everything was dark in front of me again, right? So people need to understand, too, that when you have a spiritual awakening, it's just not voom, oh, my God, oh, I'm having an awakening. No, there's it. It's a process, like it takes months, weeks, years, even sometimes, right? Like there are still days where I'll wake up, or, you know, I'll be doing something, and all of a sudden I'll have a realization, and I know it's an awakening about one area of my life, and then I can understand that, then I can walk through the process, right? And that's exactly what I that's exactly what I went through with this transformation that I was going through. And the biggest thing was, is I was having that awareness. I was having the awareness number one that I did not want to drink ever again. And since that day, I have not touched a drop of alcohol. I have had no cravings. Now I want people to understand too, that prior to that, I had quit drinking for a year, and then after that year was up, there was triggers and everything that started to happen with me. And then I ended up drinking again for about another year and a half. And then when I during that year and a half that I was drinking, I actually went back to what my normal life was. I was, you know, bringing in people that were my drinking buddies. I was, you know, going back to all of my old ways and that that was what brought me to the point where I was like, I just can't do it anymore. I was just so fed up with my life. I disliked everything about it. And it was like. I've I've gotta stop this. And I got to a point where I was like, enough is enough. And I started to ask myself the question, How in the hell did I get here? Like, how did I get here? What got me that I was a person that was, you know, I thought was so vibrant. And all of a sudden, now I'm starting to have all these suicidal thoughts. I've got these beautiful children, I've got I've got this beautiful life in front of me, and I'm literally throwing it away. And that question kept on playing in my mind over and over and over again. How in the hell did I get here? I'm going to get to let you guys know too, that if you don't know, I wrote a book and I titled it, how in the hell did I get here? Because I asked myself that question over and over. But I know that there's 1000s of you guys out there that have woken up to saying that exact same word, that phrase, how in the hell did I get here? Well, how in the hell I got there was because I realized that I was exactly like my brother who abused me when I was a child. I was somebody that became addicted to alcohol, exactly like him. I was somebody that became abusive to the people that I loved. I was somebody that became mentally ill, and I was somebody that was actually institutionalized in the treatment center. I was exactly like my brother. That was how I got there. Another thing that I came to the realization was I became exactly like my mother. I was somebody that was in a relationship that I was so completely unhappy about and that I needed to make changes. I was somebody that was in an abusive marriage. I'm not talking physically abusive like my mother was, but I was in a marriage that was emotionally abusive. I was somebody exactly like my mother, and I was not protecting my children. And what I mean by that was how I was acting. I was not protecting my children from me, from how I was brought up, because what I did is I brought forth and I normalized my childhood now to my children, which was totally and absolutely wrong. I was somebody exactly like my mother that was not sticking up for herself, and I was somebody that was being controlled exactly like my mother. What had taken place was between my mother and my brother, the two people that I resented most in this world. I became them. My whole entire life, I had been trying to run from them, but what actually happens when you think and you focus on something so much, almost on a daily basis, you bring it into reality. So even though I was trying to run from them, what actually took place was my focus was bringing them, and I was starting to live that life exactly like them, so I became exactly like them. My next realization and my next aha moment was oh my god, look at my marriage. I was so unhappy with my marriage, and at that point in time, I thought it was all me. I couldn't see that my marriage was a partner relationship, because of everything that was instilled in me from my upbringing, my abuser, which was my brother, kept on telling me you are dumb, you are stupid, you are never going to amount to anything. So I believed all of those things about myself, and that was the hardest thing, one of the hardest things that I had to accept about myself. But it was also at that moment too, when I had my awakening that I realized, ah, those things are not true. Those are not true. I do not want to believe those things about myself anymore. And now I could really see why I had attracted all of these people into my life, and I had attracted this marriage that I was in, that I was so unhappy with. But at that time, I really, really, really believed that it was all me. I was the one that had screwed this marriage up so freaking bad. Needless to say, years later, I realized that, ah, that's not it. There was more to this story, and you guys are going to hear all about that as I unfold and I start sharing and become more and more vulnerable about that. So drawing back to what my childhood was like, That was why I became a people police, or that was why I was a chameleon, because I. I

wanted people to like me. I didn't want to feel those things about myself. Another thing that I came aware of was how I had brought my childhood and my upbringing into my household. I was looking at my children, and I was like, I can't believe I've done this. I can't believe I've done this to my children, them seeing a mother who was a drunk who was not there to protect them and to love them like they should be loved. And I was like, I'm not doing this anymore. I'm changing, and they were my biggest reason why I wanted to change. I was not going to put them through anything that I had been through. They had already been through enough, as far as I was concerned. That was when I decided I was going to be the best damn mother I could possibly be. The next thing was, I was going to be the best version of myself I could possibly be. And the third thing was, was I was going to be a mentor. My Why was so strong, and I can tell you right now my why, then how strong it was. It is not changed. If anything, I have become more and more stronger in regards to why I wake up every morning, and this is why I do what I do. And I realized through my whole journey as well too, that my pain, my purpose is in my pain, and that's why I will share everything to you. I will get vulnerable. I'm not hiding anything, because there's nothing to hide with me anymore, and we all hear that saying you are who you attract. Now I can go back throughout my whole childhood, my teenage years, my 20s, my 30s, my 40s, and I could totally understand why I attracted all of these people in my life. And I can see exactly how I brought my husband into my life as well too, because at that point in time, when I was in my late 20s, when me and my husband got together, I didn't like myself, I didn't love myself, I didn't respect myself, I didn't value myself, and that was why I was so unhappy in my marriage because he didn't respect me, he didn't love me, he didn't value me, he didn't protect me, he never made me feel safe. But those are all those things that I felt about myself. So I want all of you to look at your life that's listening to this podcast right now, and I want you to look at the people around you, because you attracted them into your life by what you have going on vibrationally with inside you and how you value yourself. My life isn't like that anymore, because I do value myself. I do respect myself. I do love who I am. So all of these people that I've got in my life now, they all love and respect me. My group is very, very small as well, and I keep it small for a reason. So I think this is where I'm going to end this part of the podcast, because once I came into all of the awareness of this, this was the beginning of my journey, and this only brought in more questions, and from those questions, I got more answers that I needed, and this is where my journey really, really began. And anybody that has gone through an awakening, you are going to remember that moment for the rest of your life. This is the moment that things start to change if you are willing to take the steps to do it, this is where all of the emotions start to come out and start to unfold. This is where I really started to get angry because of so many things that I had let take place. I was angry because I knew I had to take responsibility for all of it. I cried a lot. I'll be honest with you, I cried a lot, and there still are days where I do cry, but I know that I'm on a journey. I'm human, and things are going to unravel for me for the rest of my life. Mm. So at this point in time, I'm going to end the podcast, and I'm very, very excited, because the next level of ascension that I went through was stillness, and that was when I really started to pay attention to everything that was going on around me. So until next time when I talk about that, I want all of you to have an amazing week. I'll be talking about stillness, like I said next week. And I just want to say that if you know anybody that needs to hear this podcast? Please share it with them. I ask that you subscribe, and I also ask that you write a review as well. And if nobody has said to you today or in a while how much they love you, I want to tell you that I love you, because everybody needs to hear that. So have a great day everybody. I love you, and until next time see you later you.