Crossing the Threshold: Endurance, Faith, and Friendship with Fran Curry

Hello everybody and welcome to Gut Checks. My name is Paul Weigel, and we're sharing stories of hope and inspiration in power perseverance. Today I'm here and I'm delighted to introduce my friend, colon cancer survivor fellow Ironman triathlete, Fran cCurry. Fran, welcome. I am so glad you're here today. Welcome.

I've been looking so forward to seeing you again. Thank you. This is awesome. This,

this is really awesome. Well, you know, friend, you and I were talking for a few minutes as we started about how important you have been to me for so long. And I want to I want to give everybody some perspective for where Fran was for me as we went through or as I went through my own journey, because honestly, I, I would, I'm sure I would be here. But I would not be the same man that I am. We're not for France involvement. And you have been, you have been amazing to me. He really had been. So when I got diagnosed, I had really good resources up in Seattle, I was I was lucky that I got introduced to some to some good people who are local. But when I started, I realized that I needed people like me. And it was critically important. And certainly when I've looked at when people look at my book, and they see things that I viewed myself as being a different type of cancer patient that I was hitting this hard. I wanted to be a survivor. I wanted to be a fighter, I wanted to do these amazingly heroic things. And when I was talking to people locally, I wasn't getting that same type of experience. And, and I got ice. I started looking around and I talked to Livestrong and LIVESTRONG introduced me to the Imerman Angels, and airmen angels is their love strong and Imerman Angels. And I know Johnny Ammerman is a friend of yours. Yes. And and everyman angels introduced me to Fran. And I said, nobody can be as strong and as determined as I am in God, and time and fake, and so many different things. Introduce me to Fran. And now I'm gonna cry. Fran was there for me. Throughout my treatment, although he lives in Texas, and here I got up was up in Washington State, he and I would trade countless notes back and forth and talk about our hopes and our dreams and what we imagined the future would be and, and how we could get through this and these just heroic things. What he gave me and Fran had cancer five years before I did three years, three or three or five years. I'm not quite sure. But then you gave me hope. And we'll talk a little bit more about that in a second. But I want to give a little bit of an intro about free and as we go. Fran has been married to his high school sweetheart for 36 years, into which he said on this note that it's been they've been together for 43 years consecutively, I guess your wife says that.

She does.

That's awesome. And that he has three adult daughters and two grandchildren. As I mentioned, he's a stage three who was the stage three a colon cancer survivor, and he was diagnosed after a race. And when I said I needed to know someone like Fran that was certainly the case. And, and it is so it is so neat for as I'm doing these podcasts to be talking with Fran and sharing his story and our story because it is so important to me, as we are thinking about ourselves and others as patients for what it means to dig deep and do amazing things. And France certainly is than that. than that. So, Francis, we start up. Welcome. Glad you're here. Yeah. Likewise. Likewise. Thank you again. So Fran and I also one thing I did not say was, and maybe I did. Fran was so great with me that when I was doing an Ironman Triathlon a few years after being treated, Fran drove up to or drove down to Houston, and he ran in the marathon portion of the Ironman with me. And now given my surgery background, I was not running a whole lot. So it was a good six in the six, six and a half hours that grant and I had the chance to talk and I learned so many different things. And Fran, you told me some about Have your discussions with doctors and how got you got diagnosed? But can you talk a little bit about how you got diagnosed some of the background before you found out etc?

Absolutely. And Paul, before I go in that direction, let me just add one, because I was diagnosed with 45. And so when when it's set up for my girls is that as they turn 35 or 10 years prior to my diagnosis, they have to be screened for or at least they should be screened for colorectal cancer. And so our oldest daughter has already hit that milestone and so she she was already screened, and fortunate that you know, nothing is there, but our other two daughters are going to have to do the same as well. So, you know, you learn in this process, right? It's not just oh, it's just you that's going through it when you step back, and you begin to get a broader view of what's going on in impact, you know, it's going to impact your kids as well. And so it's another note for people that as they're going through this process, you know, I was thinking about it when you were mentioned, Johnny Immerman, you know, and as I finished my treatment, I had to complete a profile. And then as you were diagnosed, and you were looking around for resources, you completed a profile. And Johnny's got this incredible database that, you know, we must aligned up on probably 19 to 20 attributes that you know, what to send, you know, some rare air that said, yeah, these two guys need to meet each other. And, and so it's, you know, yeah, like, I always say, it's God's perfect timing, but I like you. I was, I work in the healthcare sector. So for me, it's, I probably do a lot of self diagnosis that I shouldn't do. And doctors have a tendency, I'm an accountant by background, so mostly Fran, analytically, you're 100% Correct. But practically, you're 100% Wrong. So you know, they always, they always bridge for me, you know, I know you can read and I know, you can analyze, but I've got, you know, whatever, 20 3040 years of medicine to go with it. And here's what's actually going on. So they always bring me back to reality. But I was diagnosing I had some I had some activity in my lower abdomen, and I just thought it was an infection. And so, you know, I was asking for a script. And in one of my friends, a GI doctor gave me the script the first time I came back probably a couple months later, and he said, No, I can't do that. Again, I'm gonna have to get in there and see what's going on. But in between, I was running literally my first marathon. I hadn't done one before. I had two friends from my first job in Chicago at Arthur Andersen and they they were doing like their 20 year anniversary, or 25 year anniversary of running that marathon. So So I hook up with them. We get up to Michigan, it's, you know, whatever, 1015 degrees outside. And the night before one of the other guys and myself. We are dog sick, like we are running fevers. You know, we're got the chills we're in. We can't keep anything down. And it's so we wake up the next morning. And now it's worse, you know, because now it's 10 or 15 degrees outside. And it's like, well, let's see if we can do the marathon. We'll see how far we can go right. And so my buddy literally drops out after six miles. The other guy was fine. And he finished and I'm like, No, this is my first one. I got to see how far I can go. So Paul, I didn't tell you this part. I did finish. But I was so far back in the group, that when I came to a fork in the road or a T intersection, I had to decide which way to go right or left. I was so far back that they had already rolled up a lot of the racecourse. So I really didn't know which way I was gonna go. And I looked down. And if you can think, you know, just how crazy are racing styles are. I see guru rappers going to the right, and I see nothing going to the left. It must be to the right, right. So I ended up you know, I do that. But Paul, for my first marathon, you know, is it 26.2 miles, I ran 29 miles because I got lost twice on that race. So well.

We really didn't go the road less traveled, didn't you?

I really did. Right. And so you know, now I know those are bumper stickers and so forth. But it was funny. I mean, I literally did get lost. So we come back. We got to fly from Chicago back to Houston. And you know, I am dog sick and I ended up going into the doctor's office, I have swine flu. So I've had swine flu now for whatever two or three days I ran the race with it. I was just you know the crazy stuff that you do right. So I then make my appointment with with the GI doc and and he was going on vacation. So he puts me under he was going to do a topside scope because I had you know also type activity. He goes but while I got you under I'm just gonna do a bottom side scope as well. So I prepared for a colonoscopy. I don't even get to see him because he had to take off for a flight. And but he pulls my wife aside closes the door and you know He says to her, he goes, it's bad. He's got cancer. He's got to get in right away. Like, he can't wait. Like, he can't wait a month. It's broken through the colon while we're gonna have to go for the biopsy. But he goes, I've seen it. That's what he's got. That was December 6 of 2009. So, sorry. Yeah. So every time Oh, golly, I struggle every time that I've told this story so many times, but so I get in for surgery on the 29th. My wife's birthday is the 31st of December, right? So she's got to spend, you know, now the hospital stay with me on her birthday. So as you would expect, as a as an athlete, right? The doc comes in the next day. She sits down on the bench. He goes, You know, I got a you know, I'm sorry, we did the staging and so forth. Your stage three, they said, Okay, go so what's next? She goes, Well, you got to heal from the surgery and we're going to start chemo. I said, Alright, so how do I, how do I get discharged from the hospital? And you know, I don't want to be too graphic. But she said, Well, first, you've got to eat. First guy drink something, then you got to be able to eat and you have to have a bomb. We have to pass gas have a bowel movement, and make sure everything's working. Right. Exactly. Because I didn't get a bag. i My surgery was an MD Anderson. She did it laparoscopically. So I was you know, I was fortunate. I you know, I had everything still intact. And so she goes, but that's the process, right? I said, Okay, so when can I start walking? She goes walking, she goes, you're like, eight hours out of surgery. She goes like, why don't we go in a couple of days. I said, if you'll do me a favor, pull the catheter now. She goes, whoa, catheter. She goes why I said, because that will force me to get up to go to the bathroom because I'm not going to wet myself. She goes, right, right, right goes a friend. She goes, can we just wait a day? I'm like, No, I really don't want to I really want to start walking. And I, Paul, I got up, I got up like probably it was six or eight hours after surgery. I stood up. I probably took two steps. And I really couldn't go any further than that. But that started the process, right? They pulled the catheter probably about they probably waited about six, eight hours. And that day, I started walking, and I am walking the halls of MD Anderson. I'm doing laps lap upon lap upon lap. And she comes back and she goes, you know you are a nut job. She goes, I don't know what what you're, you know what makes you tick. She goes But alright, she goes, you're I mean, you're literally going to be discharged. So I you know, I checked all the boxes, right? Tell me what to do. Check the boxes. So I get done. Now I get home and I get an infection. So I've got to, you know, now I've got to, I've got to go back. Right. So they put a stitch in, they said now you can't start chemo for a couple of months and so forth. So I go back to my general surgeon who puts my port in, and I thought, Oh, I'm gonna, I'm gonna get him. So he's a real stoic guy. Brilliant. So I go down to the party city store, I get an eyeball. And I put it in my, I put it in my gut, like right where they're right where the cut right where the incision is right and insert the eyeball right in there. And I put the gauze pad back over it. And so now we're gonna go in, he's going to check it all out, make sure I'm ready to go and he pulls back the gauze pad and he sees the eyeball. He goes, Oh, that's really funny. And he takes it out. He just puts it to the side like nothing that happened. Wow. So I start the chemo. And, and, you know, like you it was, you know, as a three day process, I didn't have to do the radiation like you. So I was fortunate my regimen was was a lot easier than what you had to go through. And I was also fortunate that there were two other people that were diagnosed at the same time I was and so we were all going through treatment together. Yes.

It was different than mine. Yeah. Yeah.

So you know, we had our colon club, and one of them had started about a week before me one it started a week after me. So there were three of us and we keep touched to this day that you know, we were all went through it. And, and Paul, my port wouldn't work. Like it would take me eight hours to get my infusion. Then you know, like you you know, you got to take the bag home and you know, first treatment, this isn't so bad second treatment. I think I can do this right after the secretary when we actually did the Austin half marathon. So I was still trying to stay active and you know, make sure my body's doing all that it can do right? Right after I don't even know how many how many sessions I got into maybe six or eight brother I mean it was taken me now almost the full two weeks to recover like I couldn't run I really couldn't do a lot but I finished in July and and and so finish in July I do a muddy buddy with my with my youngest daughter who was 13 at the time so you know she probably hit her the hardest. My oldest was already off the car. Which middle daughter was in high school and you know, as you're probably experiencing now, girls in high school zone, they spend too much time with their dads. Right, you know, but the youngest was still sweet. And we would spend time together. And it he had heard probably the hardest. And so we did a mighty buddy together and really enjoyed that that we did. We did a, an Olympic relay together. We had a lot of fun with that. And then I started on this path, I did the Chicago Marathon that that was in August, or no, I'm sorry, October. So I was about I was about three months out. Literally, my buddy had qualified for Boston at that at that Michigan race. So I, you know, I played the cancer card, and I got into Boston raised money for I can't remember even the hospital anymore, but you know, raise money for them and ran Boston and then turned around and ran Chicago again. And then, you know, like you it's like, that's I'm feeling pretty good about all of that I had this plan I may have shared with you, you know I was going to do, I was going to do some marathons and some long distance biking, and maybe an Olympic and then a half Ironman, and then I want to do a full end. Like I'd seen it in 1978 on wild world of sports, and I thought I really want to do that one day, you know, and so you fast forward, fast forward 40 years. And, and that's, that's when I'm like, I just have to do it. Like I can't wait any longer and just jumped in and did it. And my wife will kill me because she hates when I tell this part of the story. And I'm not sure if I told you in that. But my swimming training consists of swimming a mile the week before.

I actually do remember that. And that was in my notes, because I was because I could not swim very well. And it took me a lot of work. And when you said that, oh, yeah, my swimming training was nothing. I was

like, what I Oh, brother, I mean, like, the worst thing you can do, right? And but, you know, and this is where I'll say I have fuzzy logic. So my fuzzy logic was, well, I get to wear a wetsuit. And so I'll be buoyant. Oh, no.

Actually, you know, Fran, I'm going to interrupt you for a second. Yeah, this I was doing a little sprint triathlon last night. And my shoulders messed up. And, and, and I did a few strokes. I was like, well, at least I've got a life preserver, Ron. So I totally know exactly what you're talking, right. Yeah.

Anyway, I don't know, if it's like, we psychologically try to convince ourselves, you know, that, that? Will that make sense? That's logical. Like, there's no logic, you know, no one else is gonna get to that conclusion. But it goes back to your to your, you know, original point, which was, you know, people go through this, this dreadful disease, and sometimes they just, they get in the fetal position on the ground, and they're like, you know, they think they're gonna wait it out. And, you know, there's another way, there's another way to look at this. And it's, it's a challenge, and it's just, it's a bump in the road? And what can I do now to to not only get through it, but it can I inspire anybody else that's behind me. And so, in, you know, this, pug, you end up going back to the hospital, a lot for the CT studies, you know, for the follow up to see how things you know, make sure there's nothing else, no other activity and so forth. And so, you know, and I'm down at MD Anderson, and, you know, depending upon what you know, about the different cancer centers, MD Anderson is huge, right? I mean, there are 1000s and 1000s and 1000s of patients, they're in the day to day basis, was when I would go what I call behind the magic curtain, you know, to get the CT study, Paul, I'd sit in a room with I mean, I'm not kidding, maybe 60 people, you know, as we wait, right, we're all in our chair, we're all doing our bear. And that's just, that's just the barium group. You know, like, there's the, you know, like, the mammography patients are in a totally different building, they're doing their own thing. So I mean, just shows you the volume of people that, you know, that are unfortunately impacted. And then going through this at the same time, you know, when you see the kids and it's hard to see the kids going through it, you see some of the older people that, you know, they're just they're so frail, you know, and then, and then you just see other people that are so mad, and it's like, Dad, it's not going to help, you know, you just, this is this is the card that you drew. So, you know, some of the funny stories there is, you know, you're wearing the gown, right? You got nothing on but the gown, right? So I'd wear the gown and my cowboy boots. And so that's a that's a great picture, right? And so I'd never time I go, so my gown is open in the back, right? And the nurses are like, don't you want to tie your gown in the back? I'm like, nope. Like, that everybody can see you're behind I go. You don't seem to care when I'm in the surgical room and you don't seem to care. So why should I care now? Right. So, and then patients would start laughing like they begin to realize that, yeah, we're all just human, you know, like, nobody's, you know, you just got to find a way to get through it. And I find sometimes humor is the way to get through some of that stuff. And, you know, right or wrong that that's maybe my defense mechanism is humor. And that's what I would try to bring, you know, to the patients that were there too. And a bit of a tangent, but my wife will will say to this day, it's crazy as it sounds, but it may have been a period of time when I was happiest in my life, because I was there for everybody else, like, I knew what was going on, right? Like in you know, this, nobody can take your place, nobody can go and get plugged in and get the chemo. Nobody can do the radiation, and nobody can do the surgery for you. So all right, that's my lot. That's what I have to do. But, but I think you know, this too, you know, and it may, you know, I don't, I don't mean this to come out the wrong way. But your daughter at three years old, she didn't have to see, you know, what was going on. She's asking you now, which is great, right and sharing that story with her, which is so inspirational, and you're touching so many lives that are going to be just so greatly impacted by that. I had to watch my girls, and I could just my wife, and I could see the nervousness in, you know, what are we going to do not like, it's not gonna happen, you know, God's got a different, he's got a different purpose. For me, it's this isn't my time. I knew that. And I could say that, but they needed to believe it, they needed to have that that reassurance and so, you know, sometimes being humorous or going up for that run out of it. And I don't think I shared this with you, Paul. But like, when we go out with to this day, when I go out for a run, and I'm here in Texas, in Austin or Houston, I go out when it's one in the afternoon, it's 100 degrees out, that's what I run. Because I you know, I want to I want to purge, I want to sweat all I can sweat. And I want to you know, and it's another challenge, right? And so I wanted to show my girls that look, you can do these things, you know, it's it. Yeah, it's not comfortable. And no, you wouldn't pick it. But just because you wouldn't pick it doesn't mean you don't have to do it. And so what do we do now? How do we how do we take the perspective of okay, here's where I'm at. And here's where I want to get to it just like just like your Iron Man, Trent, you know, your training, Paul, right? It's like, I know where I want to be. So reverse engineer, where did what are my milestones? What do I have to hit? And where do I need to be at different points in time to know that I'm on track. And that was, that was the pathway and so my wife would say, I was the happiest, but I was the happiest because I could be there for others. I wasn't worried about myself, I could be gregarious, I could be empathetic, I could be there for them. What do they need? What are they dealing with? You know, Paul, I'm not kidding you. When we we go down to MD Anderson, I push people in their wheelchairs, you know, they didn't have anybody with them. You know, I mean, when we say the worst part sometimes for what we saw were that people didn't have a patient advocate. And you know, when you're sitting there in front of the doctor, and they're spewing out vocabulary words, they're 30 letters long, you can't write fast enough, you know, you want to know, you want to understand what's going on and in you know, so my wife was there with me, you know, and sometimes, you know, as I would pass out the chemo chair, she'd have to be my advocate to say, hey, you know, I think we need to do something here with him, right? People need that and they need to be comfortable asking for help. They, you know, it's, there's no bravado here, there's no the egos have to get checked at the door, if you need help, it's okay. If people want to help, you're, you're a great example of it, you're writing a book that's going to be inspirational, you're working with organizations to not only bring awareness, but you're sharing that story and you're sharing it in a in a, in a very transparent way. You know, I mean, you can tell we're having an emotional dialogue, and that's what it is, it's emotion and it's raw emotion, and that's okay. You were, you know, that's what we do we share these emotions, because Because real men can do it. And other men need to know that it's okay, you know, the scope doesn't hurt

the right thing to do. It's the best app of your life.

Dude, it is the best nap of your life, you know, and you lose a couple pounds because you can't and I you know, that's maybe one thing I learned in the process. I don't know about you, but like, when I would go when I get ready to do the prep. I noticed that like for a day or two before if I went to soft food or to soups, man the prep was nothing the prep was so easy. Yeah, a steak or you know heavy food oh yeah that preps not gonna go well right you know if you if you're thoughtful about it, and you prepare for it there is it is so Gosh, darn easy.

If I you know, I've had more cuz obviously my training or my evaluations lasted a long time, but that was one thing I certainly learned too was that having soup for three days beforehand, was made the whole process very easy and very easy. Boy. Yeah. So Make it easier on yourself for sure.

All right, Paul, I don't know how you were. So Mike for my first prep, you know, again, humor, I did not know what to expect, right? So, you know, I've got I've got the, the, at that point in time, you had to actually mix it in a gallon jug and you need to drink it, you know, like in the

artificial flavors that always tasted horrible. And it was just so nasty. Right? Exactly. Yeah. Right.

So I got that set up. And so then I'm like, Well, I don't know how long this is going to last. So I get my TV tray, my, you know, the dinner tray, right? I got my computer on it. I've got like a stack of books to read. And my wife's like, where are you going? I'm like, Well, I'm going to the bathroom. I don't know how long this is gonna take. That's how I set up like, clearly I gotta be able to still get some stuff done. Right?

That is, you know, I always you know, through as I've gone through my process, I'm always a believer in Oh, I'm gonna be okay for a while. And then. So it's almost always that, I will sit back down, I will get comfortable. And then I'll realize Nope, it's time to go back next time, and I got my follow up this in the next in the next month. And so I will I will follow your guidance for the for the next process.

So fun. It's good. So how often do you have to go in now?

I still have to go every two years to that. Yeah, that? Certainly because I mean, we're getting different things that showed up and polyps and whatever, that I finally got cleared two years ago, and they still want me to double check. I think. Here's, it'll be set up for three and then I'll move to five. I think you're now on to five, right?

I am. So yeah, so now I made a five year increment. And as I got to my five year increment, now my oldest is going in. And so she's had her first and then she'll wait five years. And then by the time she's doing her second, my middle daughter will be getting her first. And you know, as they keep moving up their continuum, then our youngest will fit in there's a seven year gap between the oldest and the youngest. So they're all going to they're all going to be there pretty soon. So

it can be like a family party day, right? Depends on how many bathrooms you've got going

height, right? Well, you know, and we're fortunate. They're all moved out. Now. The oldest actually lives around the corner from us. So we get to see the grandkids a lot. But yeah, so I really don't have to fight with them for the for the bathroom, which you know, teenage girls, there was a lot of fighting going on. Oh,

imagine, boy, it's funny that as we've gone through and had this list of questions, you've covered so many of them. One thing that I know has been so important, and that we've talked about was God's plan for you. Yes, sir. And that has always inspired me. And could you talk a little bit some about what I mean, certainly, we don't know what God's plan is for us. Right. I mean, but but you do. But use I think you've said to me, you did not think that God's plan was for you to die of cancer. And certainly it didn't for has it for 15 years. So maybe can you say? Absolutely, and part of part of it is today of your story, too, and how you're sharing, but what is part of God's plan for you?

No, I appreciate that, Paul. So let me give a little backstory or context to this because I was raised Catholic, as and I think like a lot of Catholics, especially growing up in the Midwest, we were in Chicago, tendency to run from the church when you get to high school, and you know, and definitely did and ran from the church for a long period of time. My wife and I get married. And you know, obviously, we'd grown up together for the most part, and I was 16. She was 14. So we've had a lot of time together. And, and we both knew that we wanted God and in with our girls, you know, not understanding what that meant, and not knowing you know what that was supposed to look like. So, you know, we started testing different churches in the different areas we lived and we ended up in Houston. And I'm just you know, I'm just struggling, not happy with the things Wait, things are going in. I had a dear friend who slid a pamphlet over to me that says, Well, I'm sorry. Let me back up. One other story in there. My business partner, actually, this is in the year 2000. He gives me my first Bible. So I'd never read the Bible. I was an altar boy. But the priests don't. You just sort of granted right there. The there's a lot

of numbers. It's hard as a teenage boy to read a book. They've got all those numbers, even if you're an accountant, right?

Yeah, so really, absolutely. Right. So, so he has to be my first Bible. And I'm literally in a Bible study every Monday night with him and some of his friends. None of us went to the same church. I'm going to church. But every Monday night, they would ask me and so have you surrendered your life to Christ? And that's a no not yet. And this is tooth, this is in the year. 2000. Right? Every Monday. All right. And so I mean, I'm not kidding. You probably pray read the Bible from cover to cover. Four or five times we get to the year 2009. I get a buddy who slides a brochure to me and says Do you not like the way your life is going? Do you want to wrestle with God? And I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm ready. I want I want to wrestle if I don't like this plan. I don't like what he's doing. Yeah, I want to do I need some time to wrestle like, like Jacob, right? So, right at that point, this is now March 17 2009, which is my wedding anniversary. And so far, it's been nine years, okay that I've been reading the bible cover to cover warm sensation over my chest and not now accepting Christ as my savior. Like, wow, what a what an event. And so then I do this retreat in May. And, and it was just it was unbelievable, it called the crucible and opportunity to wrestle with God. But in wrestling with God, what you're doing is you're reliving some of the events in your life that have that have caused you pain, that then put up barriers in your different relationships, barriers, with my wife barriers, with my kids barriers with people I work with, with my friends, because of things that I don't want to deal with emotions that I've crammed down, that I haven't allowed to come out, because I've crammed them down. When I've had enough, they come out sideways, nobody knows when it's going to happen, and so forth. Right? So I go through this crucible effort, I unpack some of those stories that have caused me pain. And and then I, you know, I'm able to produce a different outcome from that and move forward from it. So it was obviously it was unbelievable, right? So that all happens in March, and then May of 2009. We do the Michigan race in October 2009. And then I'm diagnosed in December 2009. Right? So I'm standing in front of this men's group, and and they'll say, oh, so did you accept Christ because of your cancer diagnosis? I'm like, No, I got I accepted Christ, you know, six months, nine months ago, now, if I bet had nothing to do with it. And then another buddy that said, he's been tapping on your head, you know, McFly, you know, for the longest time and you finally listened because he knew you were going to need him at this point. And I think there's truth in that. Because the journey, you know, the journey is not easy, right? So, what I've come to, and I still read that every day, my wife and I do a devotional, you know, we spend time just sharing, just checking in and Sharon, where we're at emotionally. And so what I've come to realize is if you accept that, that God is in control, there is a release in that, that you know, I'm a controlling person, I think you probably are to based upon your racing and how you come at it the way you come in life. And when we're controlling like that, we can have a tendency to think that we can control outcomes to right we can control people, we can control the events that we want to go our way. And that can cause anxiety, and it can cause strain. And I've given that up. I've said, you know, I love I want to be the best that I can be forgot. It's his plan. And I tried to seek it. And I read so I understand His Word. And I understand what he's trying to say to me. I haven't heard the message yet of what he wants. And so I'm trying to be aware and be ready. I'm just trying to be ready. And to me part of being ready is that preparation, Paul, it's, it's understanding the word, it's understanding what he wants from me. But there's a physical preparation to like, that's my mental and preparation, my emotional preparations with my wife, as we check in, you know, what's going on with her life today? What's going on in my life today? Because, you know, there's going to come a point where I'm going to park because something didn't go a lot, you know, I get off the phone call enough. You know, I slammed the phone down, and I park at the dog and she's like, what's your problem? Right? So, you know, when we check in like that, it's all I've got a call today, it's causing me anxiety. So now she's, she's more tender towards what my emotional reaction might be, and I am more tender towards her. And but then there's the physical preparation, too, right? Because we're gonna get called on, you know, and maybe part of our maybe part of our calling, Paul, is that that's what we do. We run ahead and show people that they can run to, you know, yeah, you're sick. Okay. But you're not incapacitated. So, you know, is it? Is it uncomfortable? Yes. You know, do you want to do it? No, but Oh, but you can do it. And I think when you do it physically, we all know this from the science, there is an endorphin release, it is going to improve your mental and emotional being. And there's value in that too. So long winded. The thing I covered a lot of the basis there. But, you know, my my, my feeling is God's just said, you know, what your, your calling is going to be? I said it, I think, to my youngest because she's about to embark on her first career. I said, Look, you know, the road isn't paved, it's not a smooth road, it's a gravel road, but enjoy it, because the gravel road proves to you, you know, your perseverance, and that you need perseverance at the end of the day, right? And then, you know, because it's a gravel road, it's going to be uncomfortable, but you're gonna get through it. And when you get through it, you know this Yeah, I mean, like, how there's two parts that I think we would all agree upon, and especially in an Ironman race, right. Once you enter the chute, that quarter mile to the finish line. everybody lined up, right? They're high fiving each other, you know, man, they're there for you. They're just so charged up, you know, like, oh my gosh, this is incredible. I mean, think about it, Bobby, we're out there for 143 miles. I mean, that ain't easy. I mean, correct me if I'm wrong. I mean, there's probably only a couple million people worldwide that have even done it to this not even that many, right? Even that many, right? I mean, it's, it's a small group or a small group. It's a small group. So when you get to that last quarter mile, you want to savor it a little bit, you want to finish, but you want to savor it too. Because just that, that emotion is just so intoxicating. And then when you get to the finish line, it's like, right, there's like that, that exhale of like, okay, if I did it, right. Well, then, and then you walk through the finish line, and then I would bet that you and I are really similar. We look and go, when's the next race? There's some truth to that. There is some truth to that, right?

Yeah, well, for me, it usually is in ay ay. Ay, you've talked about the last part of the race. And certainly I think about when I finished Whistler, and it was Whistler was dark. And Whistler didn't quite have that quarter mile. Because it was smaller race, but it was silent and quiet. And then we had the lights and to have that celebration was amazing. But just as much I think about this fall I took part in air is the 70.3 here in Arizona. Yeah. It is. But this year, it was super hot. And so in. For me, one of my side effects long term is I don't do we're here you're talking about going up and exercising when it's 100 degrees. Yeah, for me, that is not a great thing that my body starts to fail on during the race, it's in the mid 90s. And my tights are going down lower and lower. And each and each, each mile marker, they're packing the ice, putting it pouring it down me just to keep me going, Oh my gosh. And I get to the last turn is the 70.3. So not as much of a celebration. But I get to the point and I'm 50 yards away from the end. And I think I see a friend of mine. And I start slowing down. And it turns out she's not there. So I just keep going. And I've mentioned my times have been getting slower and slower. Well, the deadline time for the 70.3 is eight hours and 30 minutes. Okay. And I'm I crossed the finish line. And I know my time is close, but I don't know how close can they say Paul Lydell has finished in eight hours. 29 minutes. And 51 seconds. Come on. Oh, my gosh. So if my friend had been there, oh, I would love to finish I would not have I would not have been an official finisher. And certainly when I was done, I was like I'm never doing another race. And then here I am. B ut then like two days later, yes, exactly. I'm like no, what's gonna be the next one and then I've got this big, big that is this year so then

we have to have a picture of that of that time stamp that is I

should I'll put that up behind me that will say that easy and and you know, actually, for different reasons. Ironman is no longer doing that race here. I think they're just some logistical issues. So I'm the last official finisher ever for Ironman 70.3 seconds. So how's that so?

Well now you need an epilogue book because that is true. That's gonna stand Yes,

it will that will be my lasting legacy. Well, well, in terms of you talks about God's God's some of God's plan is just what you've shared today. Friend, I mean that. Thank you for being so honest, and, and so vulnerable on so many different things. I mean, I know as we started where I talked about it, you've been you and your story and who you are has been so magical and so important to me for so long. And I know we are we meet Absolutely, brother. And I think we said at the start and maybe it was before we started recording that. When I'm down in Texas later on this year, we can do some that celebrate it. So

Paul, that would be awesome. You need a place to stay. You're more than welcome. To do so I can't wait to introduce you to the family and recover

one at a time.

I love you brother.

I love you too. Thank you. I really appreciate Fran

Yep, it's the truth man. We will share something for a long, long time. We really well. And you know and we get each other through it, you know, so I think about you every time I go out to race, you know, fortunate, I had an ankle issue a couple of weeks back, I was supposed to do an Olympic, but it was it was, you know, that perfect plan because I got to recruit my oldest daughter in, I don't think I mentioned, you know, she was she was actually invited the Olympic trials as a swimmer just so I was very fortunate isn't a distance, as well. So she got to do the swim portion for us the the youngest daughter did the run. So we got to do the relay here. And Paul, you know, as funny as it is, we took first place like baby was just amazing, right. And so now the middle daughter and the youngest daughter are going to do the cap try here in May, the oldest daughter myself and, and then middle daughter's boyfriend are going to do the relay. And so it's just restarting back into it, the families get back into it. And it's really, really cool. You know, it's, it's something you know, and you know, this, it's not a team sport, per se. But we're all doing it together. And so you know, it, we're, we're texting each other, we're sharing workouts, and, you know, it's just something that brings us together, right and, and that's, that's how it is for you and me, you know, your book is going to be it's going to be glued to a lot of people you're gonna get, you're gonna get attached to a lot of folks and I appreciate you picking up the baton and run with it for the awareness for you know, helping men understand that this isn't this isn't something to be afraid of, you know, look at his made his point and clear for you. You're the lightning rod, you know, you're a beacon here for people to know and to learn about. And so thankful. I mean to thankful that we are not only that our paths have crossed, but they're going to be linked for life.

They will be absolutely what I'm going to close by just saying one thing. Fan curry, you are an Iron Man.

Man is there you know, you did Houston. So you know, so you know that that shoot? I'm not kidding you when I tell you this? It took me. I swear Paul, if we go back and look at at timestamps, I think it took me a half hour to do that shoot. And so I've actually got a video. And you know, the race director, you know, they call you in, right? I mean, they see your number coming for a long way. Also,

I interviewed Mike Riley earlier this week. Oh my gosh,

because that's who called me. So, yeah. So Mike sees me. And, and he's like, What is this guy doing? Like, he's been out there for I mean, you know, there's, there's a turn. So he's only seen me for like 10 minutes, but I've been on the other part of the shoot for the last 20 minutes. I touched everybody's hand on both sides. And then when I came all the way up to the finish line, it he's like ready to call me in Well, I went back because I had to do the other side of the shoot. And he's like, What is this guy doing? So now I'm getting ready to cross the finish line and he gives me the Heisman post. And he goes, No, he goes, Stop. Right, there. He goes, they're gonna call you in. And that's what they did. So it was it was special. I mean, it really is now I did a picture book for my family and I actually have that is as the closing photo. It's here. It was really pretty special. So I picked up Mike and I carried him across the finish line with me.

Let me get photo. That's awesome. Okay, awesome. Thank you, Fran.

Likewise beautiful. I agree. I'm I didn't I apologize for all the emotion but oh, are you kidding? All right. Well, have a great day. Anything you need holler. Again, thank you so much for what you're doing and ready to jump in with both feet and help you any way I can.

All right. Well, I'm sure we'll be in touch soon. All right. All right. God bless take care.

God bless you. Take care, buddy.