The Story of Suzie Van Houte

Hello all, welcome to the Hope Without Sight Podcast with your hosts Saylor Cooper.

And Tyler Evans.

The topic of this podcast will consist of many stories of people from various backgrounds and experiences, who have had many challenges and have been able to successfully overcome them and rise to the top.

So sit back and relax as we give you the best of these diverse stories.

Because if you are feeling down and out, like you cannot make it in the world, then this podcast is the right one for you. Because if my guests can make it, so can you happy listening Welcome to another episode of help without sight with your host, Sailor Cooper and Tyler Evans. However, this episode is just going to be myself because I have a very special lady on the show who has a very personal story of her life. She has had many difficulties like all of us have, but at the same time has overcome so many challenges. Please welcome Susie van how to I Susie, how you doing this afternoon thanks for agreeing to be on an episode of help without sight.

Thanks, Saylor. I'm glad to be here.

It's so good for you to be here too. So let's start with the reason why I selected you and asked you to be on here is because I know you've overcome a lot of challenges and adversity in life. And the mission of this podcast is to transform people's lives, giving them a source of hope, knowing that there is help out there. So let's start. Tell me about yourself. And just well, you came from Tell me about your early pile of life and just give us a rundown about yourself.

Okay, well, the subject is how so I'm just gonna start with this hope is an optimistic state of mind that is based on an expectation of positive outcomes with respect to events and circumstances in one's life. So that resembles me in many ways. So I'll just start with that.

It does does it was it as resemble yourself? I know we've talked a lot over the past few months. So usually come from India, right?

Yes, I was born in the slums of Calcutta in 1967. And I was my mother gave birth to me at Mother Teresa's original orphanage. Which probably doesn't, I don't even think it exists anymore. The original one but, and her nuns took care of me in the first six months of my life because I was severely malnourished, I had chicken pox, and measles, all three at the same time. So there you go. That's the first battle. And I got through that. And I was adopted by a British gastroenterologist and an American woman. And I was spent the first year in India, and then we moved to England for a year because and then I came to the US when I was age two, and I've been here ever since. So I don't know anything but the USA and English.

Yeah, so USA is the greatest country in the world to live because there's so much opportunity. And I know, times have been crazy, right? Over the past two years because of COVID and all this senseless stuff going on. And that, you know, we don't need to give up how we were still the greatest country and I know the best is yet to come. So Wow. You were adopted. And you were brought here when you were two years old. Wow. And tell me How did life look like once you got you?

I don't really the early years were spent in Baltimore, Maryland. And then when I went from two to five, and then from age five to 12. I lived in Lexington, Kentucky. And I remember that well, but the early years I don't it's too early. Yeah. And then my teen years I grew up in Cleveland Heights, Ohio and I went to an all girls private school from eighth to 12th grade, which was wonderful for me, made a lot of friends and socialized and got into you know, all different types of sports that they have field hockey in Ohio. I haven't seen that anywhere like on the west coast or here in Texas. I don't think they have. Oh, lacrosse and yeah, I did all sorts and horseback riding. Oh, wow. Barn at the school is really nice.

Oh, so cool. You did have quite a normal your life growing up going to high school. It was good that you were able to socialize and and just have a normal high school experience that any American would want.

Yeah, I was lucky because it was a private school girl school on a very small classroom. Oh, wow. So it was it was really nice. And I think my parents chose that for me because they knew I'd be distracted in a in a large environment with with boys and girls together. Yeah. Social

Club was hanging out. It would be very, it'd be very distracting. So that was a good thing. He went to a girl school because you are very social. Yes. I've known you since March. And you know, we we get along great together. We've been hanging out going to concerts. It's been awesome. Yeah, that was fun. Well, yeah. It

was an experience for me. Yeah. Because New to Texas. I loved it.

Yeah, you got to Texas. was super stressful. That's now that last spring? Yeah. Yeah. So I'm your deep freeze. Yeah. After

the deep freeze. Yeah. And I missed that.

Oh, it was miserable. It was miserable. Now

it's extreme heat.

It is. Yeah. Yeah. So I know. You've, you've had many more challenges in life. Of course, after you were born into this world, if just tell me just tell our listeners, only the stuff you feel comfortable sharing and just tell our listeners how you overcame them. And what inspired you to just keep going and move on?

Okay, well, I think my being born in an orphanage, and your mother goes off to die in an alley. You know, I think I had that immediate fighter instinct in me since birth. And, and carried me through my entire life because I'm extremely strong and made it through many challenges. And I think

if you think about the things that I've been through are very personal. And let's just say everything from A to Z except interests. And I think, you know, one of the things I'm discovering right now is finding out you know, a lot of adopted children have abandonment issues. So that's one thing I absolutely suffer from from from the get go and obviously because I was in a shoe box and Mother Teresa's orphanage, and that wasn't held as an infant, like normal babies are and carried around and my adoptive parents, I mean, she didn't carry me around and hold me and do all those normal things that a mother does your instincts. But you know, I am later in life obviously. I got married to Hans. We've been married 30 years since September, and we have three grown girls. Alicia is 31 Annika is 27. And Annalise is 23. And I took a spin at raising girls and it's very challenging, but I think I avoided things that my mother didn't give me growing up my adoptive mother that I did for my girls and that

avoid things like what I

wish she didn't, you know, teach me the skills that you need and like, right, like, you know, like I didn't they kind of just kept me very sheltered. And I shot a very good idea. Because, you know, I didn't know, you pay her you have a mortgage? No, they didn't teach me to balance a checkbook. I mean, I was not prepared like that I was a private school, and I, you know, I didn't know these things. And, and it didn't help not being around boys and knowing what men are like. And that has hurt me in the long run with men in general, because I, you know, was around girls and, you know, very close relationships and strong friendships, and I didn't. And now how nasty the world can be.

Exactly. So it was just an it was a complete eye opener to you.

Yeah, you know, I know. Yes. And I learned things the very hard way, and hard, hard lessons, and it has not been easy. And you just grow stronger, and more powerful from that.

Exactly, yes, you only get stronger. Because I'm assuming, like, what exactly happened, you know, to have parents when, when you were adopted?

Well, I know that my father, I don't think he was alive. And she wanted to give me a better life. And she asked Mother Teresa personally to find me a home. Wow. And, and my middle name is Shukla, which means to love. And that is all I have from my mother that my original name is my middle name, Susan Shukla. So

that's all you have.

Wow, there are no papers or no adoption papers in 1967. Now, it's not like, you know, you can go find your family. It's, you know, so I don't you know, I, I've never thought deeply about that, I think, because I know that I came from a place far away. That didn't have records. So I've never went that route to go find my family. I mean, knowing that my mother went off to go die, and on our way, it's like, so I've kind of just, you know, going through this world on my own, like, discovering things.

So Well, you see, I see your mother just Diagon Alley. And you know, as if that was all you've had these abandonment issues. And since birth, since both and you've had to figure out life on your own, like there was no instruction manual, it was all just trial and error.

No instruction manual. No. But what gives you hope, and live or connections with Prop proper positive people, a higher power. And I think, you know, my friendships are so, so important to me and my friends means so much to me, they are my family. And then I have, you know, my husband, I've been with him 31 years married 30 and my three girls, so you know, that is my family. And that's what keeps me going. And plus, you know, the unconditional love of the dogs. And I love animals. And I think I associate better with Anna animals and people because I've always been hurt and by people and I, you know, animals give you that unconditional love.

Exactly, exactly. Yeah. So I know you've had other issues you've dealt with such as, because of these abandonment issues and all the other stuff you mentioned that you've been through in your life. I know you've had anxiety and PTSD, which I can imagine it's been really hard for you to deal with. But how have you dealt with it?

All? Those came together like a hand in glove PTSD and anxiety from I mean, you are a product of your environment and an environment that I grew up in how I was treated and how things were mishandled. I just learned to survive on my own with my own survival skills, my own methods until I started therapy at age since age of 19. But I learned to block things out in my mind and forget about the pain and just think about, you know, my positive things in life, like my friendships and because when you have, like, you know, black clouds looming over you and negative energy you don't you it's hard to get up, get off your feet and depression thinks in. Exactly think so.

Yeah, and because you and I, we've had deep conversations since since we've known each other. And for my listeners out there, actually, you and I, we met through my sister said, you and I met at the Apple store last summer. Right. Yeah. And because I won't go into the specifics, but as you know, my sister she has no a lot of anxiety and PTSD. Due to due to a lot of stuff. She's been flown her life, but you know, the same time y'all met for a reason y'all got each other?

Yeah. And I didn't know anything like that when I first met her and, but wished we share a bond. And that sense where we have a connection. Right, the same issues. And hope, hope to me, is like looking on the bright side of things and seeing challenges as opportunities. And hoping for the best and I think I've learned how to fight and not physically fight fight for what is right for me.

Yeah, yeah. FIFO Why is right, yes, I

think it's important. I'm gonna, I've always talked about it, but I've started, you know, jotting down notes. Um, I need to write a story about my life. And I think it would, it could bring hope to other women that have suffered the same things as challenges as I've been through in my life. Growing up.

That's right, you need to write a book, you need to write a book. Yes. And you told me that and

the title is going to be other because I never liked when it says white, black, Hispanic, I'm like, I'm neither of those. And I check other cuz I'm from India, I'm like, Why doesn't have India? And then my running joke and my family's like, well, you're from Asia, and I don't think of myself as Asian. No, that sounds like, like to check the box other cuz I'm different.

Yeah, you're unique. You're definitely about you, unique to you. And like, no other. It's true. Yeah. You guys have

said when I'm walking around, like, nobody forgets My name when they leave.

Yes. Because you and I, we talked about you and I, we have deep conversations because, like, I mean, I've been through challenges myself, as me being legally blind, visually impaired, but nothing like what you and my sister had been fooled. Because of course, you know, you know, fortunately, I'm, you know, I was stable and fine, but because of, because of this, I could, I could see from all sides, and empathize with what you have been through. And what my sister has been fooling me. I've kind of been through it too, because I've seen you know, how challenging it's been no for my sister to live her life because of her condition. But I, I see, I see it from all sides. And then I sense you and you and I can Yeah, you and I like we understand each other, you know,

yeah, we have a good, good connection where we understand each other. And I understand you know, learn boundaries with people. And that's the hardest thing in the world. You have very open and open minded. And not everybody is a lot of people are closed minded. I'm very open. And I talk about my feelings. And I don't have a problem with that need to me to think that's why we get along so well.

Yeah. And and you see normally with me off off the podcast, you're talking about more stuff, but since is this gonna be like public, it's gonna be distributed on any way you get podcasts. I understand. I understand that on here. You wouldn't want to talk about me leaving because we only we only talk about certain things and issues for people who we trust, you know, right. Yeah. Yeah. But

well, it's just very personal. I just.

Yeah, I guess. Yeah, it's very personal. But so what are you? What are your goals for the future? Like, you want to start writing a book? How do you want to live, you know, I

want to volunteer at an animal shelter or animal rescue thing. I want to learn how to play the piano, I want to write this book, I want to travel like I am traveling and go and see friends and just enjoying life to the fullest at this point, because I can do that now. The girls are grown. And I spent, you know, 24 years raising three girls. Right? It's a huge job. There are no words for that.

Now easy raising children. No, no, no. So yeah, you want to travel the world,

you know, starting out with nothing, and where I am today. And I never jumped a life would be like this. And so the word hope is it's a definitely a word that has touched me in my life. Because, you know, I felt helpless for so long. And then now, things are going well, finally, and I'm in my 50s. But it took a long time to get there. It didn't just happen overnight.

No, it didn't happen overnight. took a very long time. And I'm very proud of how far you've come.

Yeah, no, definitely blessed. And, you know, Teresa blessed my family. So I, you know, that's a miracle.

It's a miracle. Wow.

I mean, that's amazing.

is amazing. It's amazing. And I know, not just you and your daughters, you and your husband had been through so much. But What? What? Well, it makes me feel inspired. I have my bofi fours that you know, have stood strong. And

that because we're best friends. If you're not messing around with your partner, then it's not gonna work. And trust.

You know, again, you celebrate your anniversary, which is awesome. You're going to eat very shortly the dream come true. Yeah, is super cool. Yeah.

It's like a magical

what you and I always all common common sentence that we say. Together is do not focus on the negative. Always focus on the positive. Because the pass kills you.

Yeah, it'll eat you alive. And there's no reason to spin out on things you can't change. You just have to keep moving forward. When I fall, I just pull up my boots and I keep going. And that's what's rolled me through life. Exactly. You know? Yes. Yes. And I used to have to take antidepressants and things like that. And now I'm, you know, pretty much just taking vitamins now. Oh, so

you're off everything much.

Wow. But you know, when you rely on that since age 19 through material life, you know, I don't like taking medicine. I don't like I don't like that to be on medicine. But you know, there are reasons why people have to take medicine, but I feel you know, as you know, having a therapist is a good thing. It helps you again, think outside the box, somebody else, you know the speed Do you instead of your mind spinning in the same circle, have somebody from the outside walk in, and they give you pointers that you would never have thought about?

Yeah, exactly like, therapists there, they try to be as non judgmental as possible. And stay on positive regard. Now, they won't tell you what to do, because it is at the end of days of future decision, your adult life, but they will give you pointers and suggestions and life scenarios. Deliver samples to help you make the best informed choices. Am I right? Yes. Yes. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah, you've, you clearly overcome so much adversity in life. And, you know, even though days and times can be dark, life continues.

Another thing to do is you can journal you can write down your thoughts and things. And that's very helpful.

That goes, yeah. And so any, any ever made any of any other information you want to share on the podcast? Or do you want to close out with some just good advice?

I think it's important that no matter what life throws at you, you know, first of all, take a deep breath and breathe. That's one thing I've learned. And because when you feel the book is thrown at you, it's like, okay, don't fall apart, take a deep breath, and then remember to breathe, and then just look up, you're not drowning. And it's like, you just take baby steps and you

know, exactly through,

just push, you know, like, like, say, you know, there's so many support groups out there. And that's very important. Like, if somebody passes away, I always tell people, why don't you join a grief grief group, because that will help you and to be around other people that have been through the same thing you're going through and to talk the feelings out, you know, you can't afford to have therapy, then join different groups, if you have an alcoholic in your life, you know, go to Al Anon. Or, you know, if you were sexually abused them, there's, you know, groups out there support groups, and I think that's extremely important.

Yes, because you are not alone. Help is out there. Not everybody will understand that there are certain groups of people that will

know everybody has their own issues and and whatever that is, there's some group out there for you, if you're smoking addict, or there's their group support groups, there is help for everybody even sometimes when you've not feeling helpless, helpless, you know, there there is hope. There's, it's out there, it's out there. Yes, it's there. You just don't realize it because your self, your mind is so fogged with stuff with poison. Yeah. Yeah, the dirt. You know, it's like, you just gotta take a deep breath and blow out, rise above the water and go for it. And take your next steps and realize that you're not drowning.

Yes, I need to own Dibley.

Faro, like, you know, and writing down your thoughts in a journal or you know, writing on a piece of paper is very therapeutic. You don't have to share that with anybody and that that's a start right there.

It sure is. Yeah, sure is writing down your thoughts. Really helps you also taking deep breaths to me also, practicing mindfulness helps a lot as well. And it it makes your mind get more stable and comfortable. It slows down your heart rate. Bleeding increases the oxygen up to your brain and just makes you feel more centered and balanced. Because when I know, whenever I've had like, anxiety and in things like that I would do, that's what I would do is mindfulness. If I'm feeling sad about something, I would practice mindfulness and meditation that was Lily help me there. The

HANS gave me a birthday gift a few years ago, it's this really cool thing. Because if you have panic attacks and anxiety like me, it's this little gadget that looks like a mouse, your computer mouse and you put it on your chest. It's called sensei. And it vibrates and you download the app and it plays this music like you're at a spa. You know, TRANQUIL MUSIC, and it you listen to it and the little machine, like your, you put it on your chest and it vibrates and it and it it senses you know, your anxiety and your your, your breathing and it and it vibrates and it helps calm you down. Right, exactly. It's such a cool little thing like that, or they're just other little thing. I got like some gadget that's called conmigo. And you it looks like an inhaler. Like if I had asthma and you you suck it in, and it's actually you know what it is? It's lavender.

Oh, I love lavender. It's awesome. It helps calm

you. Yes. Other things besides, you know, medication, that that can help. I mean, yes, of course, you know, some people have to have medication and stuff. But these are some other tricks. I've learned asides from taking medicine. Oh, wow. I don't like to rely on medicine all the time. And, you know, it's not good to be on it. And the

fact that your medication flee. That is a story of overcoming adversity right there. Yeah. Yeah. So if you have nothing else to share, to close out, I asked this question to most of my guests. What advice would you give to any of our listeners who are struggling with hope right now and just don't see a path forward.

I look up at the stars and and look at the sky at night. And you know, when you see those stars up there that have millions and millions of miles away, and we can't touch them. It's you feel like you're untouchable. And you feel like nobody can see or feel what you're going through. There is light out there, there is hope. It's there.

It's there. It's there. And you know, life is so worth it. Don't give up on life. It's not good. It's, you know, life

is too short. My life is already over. And I'm like, wow, you know, in half my life I spent raising my girls. So, you know, I was a kid and you're a teenager. And then next thing you know, you're in your 20s. And I've wanted to have kids are away. So I had the energy. And now I'm in my 50s and I'm enjoying my wife finally, like I can travel and do things and I'm in my mid 50s And I don't have any kids in the house and it's really nice. It's the first time that you can you know, look, take time out for yourself because you can never do that when you're raising kids.

That's right when you have when you have kids and all changes it all

changes. Yes game changer.

Yeah, cuz I'm I'm always waiting. I am. I haven't met my significant other yet. And I hope I will. And I know I know. He was so moved. We have a we went to George Strait. Oh, I said

you told me

Go ahead. Yeah.

We find that right one, you know, like you said you were gonna propose at that stadium and in our G. Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

And that's so sweet. Wow.

I'll even try and get on stage if an artist on stage and do

Yeah, man. I was just there for Oh, who was the guy that was just here? Yeah, 77,000 people I and Hans and Annika was in town before she leaves for vet school in London visiting. Yes. And we went to that answered. And those two have never been in that stadium and they were just like, the biggest points I've ever seen. And I just thought back to you and what you told me and I was just like smiling and smiling at that concert because I remember we were sitting in the same area and we're at that the rodeo and listening to George Strait it was I mean, not the rodeo, was it a separate concert? Right?

No, Joey was that George Strait was probably well, yeah, he close. Yeah, right.

I'm mixing it all up. See, Garth Brooks. I'm getting off them all. Yeah, cuz I'm new here. Still learning

so just you know, LED lights you before and just don't give

up? Don't give up on life is worth it. Totally worth it. Because then I feel like I'm at that part where the rainbow it's like over the rainbow. At least there is like that pot of gold. Because there it is. It's worth it. Now all those struggles and everything I've been through and now it's like I'm finally enjoying my wife. Exactly. So nice. Yeah. So awesome. So that should I should give I agree with you just keep pressing on living lie to four because it could be hard. But at the end, life is beautiful. Amen. Amen.

Well, anything else? That's it. All right, well, Everybody give it up boy Suze van Houte. Hope without sight episode three.

We hope you enjoyed this episode of Hope Without Sight with Saylor Cooper and Tyler Evans and got a lot of takeaways from this podcast. We help you feel renewed, inspired and encouraged. Like you can just carry on and conquer

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