What Are The Best Ways To Deal With Isolation?

What? Life isn't supposed to suck. Get out of here. Life is supposed to be good for me? I don't think so. Truth? Did you know that you have the power to create your own reality? True? Did you know that you can live the life that you've always desired? Holy? That's right. And that's why we're here. Are you ready? Unless you're on Joy overload, you've come to the right place, it's time to get out of your own way and start creating more of what you want, and less of what you don't end up with the excuses. I'm your host Jani Roberts. Let's do this.

Welcome family. And thanks for joining me today for our living in alignment podcast, where we are really focusing on experiencing more of what we want, and less of what we don't. Today, we're going to be talking about isolation. Now for most of us, this has been something that has been introduced as a result of COVID. If we had never dealt with it before, I think most of us go through periods of feeling isolated. You might parallel that with lonely or aloneness. But through COVID, we all were taking it to another level, right? We had to really deal with it. There were times when I thought well, maybe I'm more of a how do you want to put this me introvert than I thought, because there was, there was some of it that I really liked. It almost gave me an excuse not to interact. But too much of anything is necessarily a good thing, right? I have been known to hide I am. But I used to be a bit of a hider. So it gave me a kind of an excuse or a reason to justify doing that very easily. And I felt we dive into this today, since it is something that most of us have had to deal with. And maybe you are still dealing with it. Sometimes this happens when our children leave home. Let's let's start even earlier, maybe it happens we isolate a bit when we leave high school because now it's okay, I've got to step into a workplace that's, you know, all new to me, or I'm going on to college. And that's all new to me the environments new and it forces me to want to withdraw. But maybe I'm trying to get back into the dating world or into it for the first time. And that's really making me feel isolated. Maybe I've gone through a divorce, maybe my kids have moved out. And now I'm feeling very alone or isolated as a result of not having more people around me. Throughout the day, there are just so many different things that can happen that we all go through that can create this feeling of isolation. So yeah, it's it's a good, it's a good chat, it'll be a good chat. So we want to talk about first of all, knowing that we aren't alone, probably one out of three, there's different statistics that you can look at. But in 2020, I looked at some data that that focused on about a third of the human population is coping with some type of isolation as a result of COVID. But I believe that we've been seeing this for a long time. For example, as we've watched, mostly younger people go through what's been happening with school shootings, and just public violence. This really causes people to pull back, to be guarded, to be afraid to not want to interact with other people because they they're in fear for their safety, fears. Powerful. We've talked about this a lot. And it's also a fantastic teacher. So we want to really step back and take a look at where where is this isolation is feeling of isolation coming from. If we've been spending a lot of time indoors, it's tough, right? If we're if you happen to be moving into, let's say, the winter season, and you live in an area that leaves you a bit more isolated, that people can feel that more in the winter. And there's lots of data around weather and how that affects people's mood, if you will. So there is an adjusting period happening right now. And I do believe it is connected to the mental health, the general mental health of the population. I do believe that we are coming around the corner on this and we're starting to say wait a minute, I don't know if I buy into all of this. Every man for himself kind of belief system or attitude. I want to be connected. I need to be connected. I'm a human being I need to spend time alone. This is very important. If we want balance, we want to be able to be alone and not be afraid of that. To grab that thought for a second, I would like to be able to be on my own and not feel fear, or panic. Anxiety is very important, it's going to be difficult to be in relationships in a healthy way, if we can't be on our own, and be in a healthy relationship with ourselves. So this, again, we've talked about self love is so important. It's the foundation. And it's something that we always work on. And that's perfectly fine. But this is all connected to these feelings of loneliness, and isolation. So what do we do about it? Think about some people who really work in an isolated environment, let's say if you are a pilot, you know, you're kind of isolated in that cockpit. Certainly, anybody who's gone into space knows what it's like to be alone, with just a few people for a long period of time. We go away for a variety of reasons. Our lives get interrupted again, we talked a little bit a few minutes ago about moving relocating. But the work, right, let's say I do social work. I can feel very isolated in that. Because there's there's a lot of energy going out and not a lot of energy coming in, perhaps. So how do we cope? How do we maintain some type of normalcy? I'm going to keep this really basic, but I think it's, I don't think I know, it's extremely important, at least from my own personal experience, I obviously can't speak for you. But these are some things that you can do that are simple. And that matter, because I think we've all been in a position where we can't even get out of bed in the morning. And that would be step one, at some point, we do need to get up now. If we're really isolated to the point of depression, and we just pull the covers over our head, and we can't do it, it's okay. We're allowed to give ourselves some time for healing and pain. It's important that we experience these emotions, and we learn from them. But there will come a time soon, when we need. We know we need to get up and move we need to move on. Now I'm saying this quickly. But I know you are feeling the heaviness of what I am saying. Perhaps I've lost a child. What do you say and read that? Um, you know, Jenny, you're saying that, you know, I can only give myself a certain period of time to mourn my child. How do you know how long it's going to take me? Truth, I don't. But you will know. And there's no thing and nothing and no one who wants you to suffer. This is a choice that we make. We might be punishing ourselves. There's some layers to peel back. But there are some steps that we can take to help ourselves move through those layers. So we want to get up. And, you know, there's a little bit too much information here. But I'm not a person that is necessarily gets up every morning, go straight to the shower, I have a tendency to get up and go straight into movement into tai chi or chi gong or in I go for a walk, I go down and do chores in the barn, I get in the woods, I am more of a mover than I am, you know, that ritual of I'm gonna get up I'm going to shower, I'm going to get dressed, I do it a little bit backwards. So to each his own. But my point is, if getting up and getting showered and getting dressed is all you can do in one day, and that just wipes you out because you're dealing with isolation slash depression, anxiety, loneliness, it's okay. It's a step. It's a step. But it is a way to show ourselves that we love ourselves, I care enough about myself to get in the shower and get dressed. And again, baby steps. If that's all I've got, that's all I've got. We can move on to something as simple as making our bed creating some really good Chi in our space. I always burn my palo santo or sage. There's a whole practice that I like to do in the morning and it varies but it's there's the pieces are there pretty consistently. And I'm happy to share that with you just email me at info at alignment essentials.com and I will do that. I'm happy to share my own personal rituals, if that's helpful to you. And I have gotten up and gone to my altar and done my prayer work My meditation in tears in my life I've I've struggled to even get through that I haven't really been able to do anything but sit there and just kind of release trauma, through tears. This is movement, this is healing, this is doing something, even though it might not feel like it's enough, that that it's not enough thing that's all coming from outside the universe has nothing that time for us. We're the ones that, that feel like, you know, we we buy into what you if you're not doing this by this age, or you're not doing this, you know, if you're lazy in the morning, or lazy person, all that nonsense we get to pick, we're in charge here.

So whatever that routine is, you get up you shower, you get dressed, maybe you put your pajamas back on, I'm not judging, you make your bed and you go into some type of routine. Now, I'm going to really encourage you when you're ready to get outside. And if it's snowing and freezing cold bundle up, you've got enough clothes to bundle up. Enough to go outside for five or 10 minutes. Even if you don't, you can handle it for five or 10 minutes. breathe in the fresh air. It'll distract you. It'll stimulate you, it'll inspire you. You really be tapping in to source Mother Earth is here to support you. She is under your feet. She has got you. She provides everything you need. The water, the air, the food, it's there. The self love. The universe knows your truth, you are truth, you are love. Nothing more, nothing less. If we're not believing it yet, sources holding that space and supporting us call on your ancestors. Ask for help. If you have to crawl in front of your computer and force yourself to work, because it's just what you have to do, break it up and take those walks. Move the body change the perspective. Another thing I found that's really helpful is taking the focus away from myself and doing something to support someone else. You could get involved in your community. It's so healing to help others, it just really pulls us away and out of our mind and into our hearts. Now, here's a big one. You may not find this difficult at all, but many people do. It's not real hard for me. But I do have to pay attention depending on what's going on in my world. And that is how much technology I consume, how much media consumption I engage in. So I want to be aware want to be awake. I choose that. Because then I know okay, this this, this area in the world is needing is needing good energy is needing love and support, then I can sit and quietly send that loving and supportive energy to them. Let's do that. Now. Take a deep breath let it go bring into your mind's eye a place or a person or persons who you know are needing love and support right now. Send that to them. See them receiving it. Their heart will receive it even if their mind will not.

And you may want to close with mantra all as well. You are loved. You are supported. I mean it's it's that simple. I can feel that energy shift right now as I'm doing that. Stay connected to people. It's really easy to hide. I mentioned I'm a hater. I used to be a hater. Unless I'm a hater now. I'm working on it. Right? I love I've set up some zoom calls with friends. We've done some happy hours we can physically be together and move around quite a bit from my work and my family. So that's not always possible and in connecting that way. So fun. Really appreciate that part of technology. And we really set an intention to not get caught up in negative conversation, because that's easy to do. And if we fall there, we don't stretch ourselves, we just support each other right up and out of that. And again, you've got to move your body, you've got to move your body, even if you join us for five minutes of Tai Chi, something we need the endorphins, the serotonin, we need that, to reduce stress, anxiety, depression. And if that's something you really feel you need, we we offer free gifts of movement, we're happy to share that with you. So we're managing this anxiety, through meditation, through physical movement, the process of quieting the mind. And while we want to stay busy, we want balance, right? We don't want to bury ourselves in our work so that we don't have to think about what needs to be managed. Boy, have I done a lot of that. Just so busy, so busy occurs, just too busy. I don't have time to love myself, I'm just too busy. And certainly asking for help. As I mentioned earlier, I can refer you to people, I'm happy to do that myself. Whether it's through shamanic session, or moving meditation, or simple conversation, we can, we can begin to share that way and release. So it's important to recognize what's going on, recognize what's happening, and then allow it to happen. The minute that we start to push against it anything. Right now we're talking about isolation, we just were exerting all this energy trying to push it away. So I'm just going to work work, we're gonna push it away, push it away, push away, it's exhausting. We want to recognize it, okay, this is what I'm feeling and allow it because it is a teacher, nothing is going to allow me to appreciate that community and connection with other human beings as experiencing the opposite of that isolation. Right? It's going to teach me the value of it. And and what we're really talking about here is investigating what's going on with ourselves what's going on with our, with our heart. So you know, okay, this is showing up. Let me look at my patterns, right, this goes back to our foundational teachers, teachings, let me look at my patterns of behavior that have caused this, this to arise this particular feeling or emotion. Really, really helpful. I'm going to look less at what doesn't serve me, and I'm going to look more at what does just throw TV in there, for example. I'm going to meditate every day. Oh, well, I don't know how to do that. Well, there's lots of ways there's no wrong way. And I'd be happy to give you specifics. Through the course we tiptoe you into it. If you've been meditating for a long time, then you're off and running there. It moves around for me. We're all different. We want to pay attention to whether or not we are looking mostly at what's not working in our lives. Is that what we're talking about most of the time? What isn't working? Are we mostly talking about what is because that's a choice. We have control over this. See, guys, there's, we have control, we are led to believe that we do not but we do, we always have choices. Free your mind and the rest will follow. So we need to stimulate our brains. Now, instead of doing a game virtually, play some cards, have a friend over, get in a book group, interact. Take an online course. One of the main reasons that I went virtual well before COVID was because I wanted people to have access to things no matter where they were geographically speaking. This work comes with us wherever we go, because we come with us wherever we can get out of that one. And then of course there's Do you love yourself enough to fuel your body in a positive way. So what are your food choices? How much alcohol are you consuming? And I do not want to for one moment appear to be throwing any kind of guilt trip out here. It not at all. These labels that we put on things, I'm not one for them. All I'm saying is pay attention to how you feel oh I eat that I don't feel well. Oh, and eat that. I feel really good. That's it. It's the yucky yummy syndrome. I can't remember what episode that is. But that's all I'm talking about. Oh, when I have one last one, I feel great when I have three. I don't. Okay, note to self. Then why am I having three? Because I'm feeling lonely, isolated, frustrated, angry. Okay. Well, we're treating the symptom. Let's look at the belief, then we can shift it, then we've solved it, then we move on, then we find peace. We start every day, in our in our program in the alignment Essentials program living in alignment, because with appreciation because it sets the tone, right? It sets our energy for the day. What am I grateful for? Now, this has been proven there's there's lots of science behind this stuff. So if I start out if I wake up, and the first thing I think about is what I went to bed with, which is, I'm so worried about my daughter, I'm so worried I'm terrified for her. Or I have no way, I have no idea how I'm gonna pay my rent, or my mortgage. Like it's not, I don't see that light at the end of the tunnel. Like, I don't know where that money's gonna come from. I went to bed thinking about that. And I'm awake for 10 seconds, and it's right back there, right? Like a elephant on my chest. So you got 10 seconds, when you wake up, or whatever it is for you to slide gratitude or appreciation in there first. The other stuffs gonna come probably, maybe, probably probably. But if you set yourself up, I am so grateful that I have a roof over my head today. I'm so grateful that I've been able to do this this long. I've always figured it out. Things have always worked out somehow. I'm grateful for my family. I'm grateful for my education. I'm grateful for the pillow under my head. I'm grateful for my body, I'm able to get out of bed, not everybody can do that. Whatever you got to reach for. Reach for it. When you feel isolated, you're gonna feel as though you have more time. If you're not sure what to do with that time, do something for you. Run a hot bath or some Epsom salts in their little essential oils. Make yourself something yummy to drink, grab a book, or not. Or some neutral or empowering music or not. Just use the quiet peace and connect with yourself. Step into your now. Be present. It really is impossible for us to be alone because we are all one. And you might be like That's bullshit. But it isn't. We're all connected and we're way more alike than different. There isn't anybody that you bump into. That hasn't experienced loneliness painfully. We are more alike than different. So know that you are never alone. You know where to find me. I'll hang out with you. Reach out, ask for the help. Know that you're not alone. And you have nothing to apologize for. You have nothing nothing to be embarrassed about. Nothing. You are doing the best that you can with what you have. What could anyone possibly ask? For other than that? doing the best that I can with what I have right now stuff.

And then when it's not tough when it's really good. When you're cruising. You're in the flow, celebrate it. Don't pull that off. Throw a party. You can have a party I have parties with myself all the time. Nobody else is around. Okay, I can still celebrate. I can celebrate me. Why not? There's only one of you. No one else brings your energy. No one else can help others feel as loved and appreciated as you can. The first we must love and appreciate ourselves. Until next time guys. Never Alone always together and we got nothing but love you Nice