A New Kind of Resolution | Ep.38

This show is about freedom. Freedom from your constant struggle with food and letting the size of your thighs determine your worth. Join me weekly for no whole fat, unfiltered girlfriend kind of conversations that will inspire, teach and empower you. As we tune into our own body's wisdom and tune out of the diet industry lives, we can live our most radiant, pleasurable and fulfilled lives. My name is Chanci dawn. I'm a non diet nutritionist embodiment and mindset coach. But most importantly, I'm a woman on a mission to grow a deeply connected and conscious relationship with food and my body. And I'm here inviting you to do the same. Let's go.

Hello, my friend, welcome to New Year's Eve. I know you will be listening to this a few years after we rang in the new year. But for me right now, as I'm recording it, it's a new year and or New Year's Eve. And there's fireworks happening in the background. So you if you hear banging, that's what it is. And I actually have a house of teenagers getting ready to go to a party. So this episode might have some background noise. But that's okay. We will just celebrate in it all. Because I really, really wanted to record tonight's show tonight. It's important to me because it's all about the new year's resolution, the New Year's goals, the New Year New you and the opposite. There's a lot of people out there. And there's a huge movement that I'm seeing, which I think is really positive, saying screw New Year New you right, I am perfect as I am, and I'm not changing a thing. So I just want to first of all acknowledge that wherever you're at, whatever you are moving towards this 2023 is perfect you do you, you are the boss of you. And let's just dig into how to support you no matter where you're at, as far as the whole new year's resolution is concerned. So when we're looking at this, right, the goals that we're making, or the non goals that we're making, they're actually both goals. If you're like, I'm not changing a thing, I'm staying right where I'm at, that's actually a goal, that's actually an action. And when we're looking at goals, what we what I really want you to understand, and I've talked about this a lot on this podcast, but we do everything and we don't do things in order to avoid or move towards right, feel any emotion. So when we're looking at this, what I invite you to do is go deeper than the goal deeper than the action deeper than what you're wanting to achieve this year. Ask yourself, how am I wanting to feel? And why do I think that doing this taking this action moving towards this will make me feel that way. This is really important and really powerful. Because we want to understand our motives, we want to understand what moves us forward, what motivates us. And when we understand this, the reason we want to is because then we are empowered, we're empowered to go, right. This is why this is how I'm actually wanting to feel and this is why I think this will get me there. I really want you to look deeper than what you're told to do. Or be or feel. I want you to really make these choices for yourself because we are bombarded with marketing, and marketing 101 speaks or it says to speak to people's emotions, show them that what you have, what you have for them, what you're showing them, what you're offering them, what you're marketing towards them, will give them that feeling that they're desiring. So when we understand this, we can look past the noise, we can look past all the marketing, and we can really come home to ourselves and go what is right for me, what is real here for me and why. So this is the number one thing that I really invite you to do right now. Okay? And when we know that we do everything in order to move towards any motion or avoid any motion. This also really empowers us because emotions are temporary, my friend. And we think that achievements we think that these goals that we have are going to make us feel a certain way. But the emotions are always temporary. I like to think of them like the clouds. So you have the clouds coming in and out and they're floating in and out and they will never last for very long. And the thing with this, too is when you understand this, that they're not going to last for very long, you can then welcome them all. Because on the flip side of all this marketing that's being yelled at, that you're being bombarded with, there's the underlying suggestion, that difficult to feel emotions are bad, that we don't want that. But when we understand that they're all temporary, we can welcome them all, knowing that this is a part of the human experience. As a human, you will feel 50% Good, and you will feel 50% hard, you will have 50% emotions that you're like, oh my gosh, she's heard this is so great, I feel so good. And then you're gonna have 50% that are painful. This is just the human condition, we can't get away from it. So when we're looking at making these goals, and these resolutions, and we think this is going to make me feel this way, but then when we understand, wow, it's actually temporary. And if I'm willing to feel anything, if I'm willing to really drop in to this whole human experience, and welcome it all. What that does is it busts the world, bust this human experience right, open for you. And this is a big part of embodiment a big part of emote of embodied eating, I was gonna say emotional eating, because when you're willing to feel it all, than we don't need to buffer it away, we don't need to go, Oh my gosh, this goal is I'm not achieving it. And I messed up or I fell off the wagon, or bla bla bla bla bla, screw it, I'll start again on Monday, all of that that nasty cycle we've talked about. Instead of that you could go all right, right now I'm really feeling lonely, really feeling sad, and feeling bored, I can feel this, I can welcome this, nothing's gone wrong. And then you experience this emotion. And then on the other side of that, is Ha, I feel better. And that's actually a positive emotion. And the best news ever about this is as you grow your ability to feel the difficult as you really be, as you really allow yourself to drop into it, and experience it fully. It also grows your capacity to experience all of those who began me positive emotions that we really, really, really love to feel. So this is a gift to yourself, This is a gift to yourself, number one, to recognize why you think that these goals you're going to achieve will make you feel a certain way. And why you want to feel that and then say, right, if this is actually what I want to feel, I am willing to feel it all I'm willing to feel all of the heart, I'm willing to feel all of the good in order to grow my capacity, and do the things that are going to be hard, get through the trials and get through all of the difficulties that are going to be faced on my way to this goal. I'm willing to do this on the other side of it, I can achieve it. And I can feel the juicy stuff, knowing again, that that tool is only temporary. And this is really important, I think, because so many times we think when we get there, that's it. And then we get there, and then we're disappointed because you're like, oh my gosh, I'm still feeling hard stuff half the time. And then because of the culture we live in, we think something's gone wrong. But when you understand this, you know, it hasn't, it is okay. And it's just part of our journey. So I really hope that that helps it really support you as you work towards these goals or you work towards the actions or non actions that you are desiring to make this year.

Now, let's go deeper. So feelings are great. Of course, we want to work with them. Of course, we want to acknowledge them and you know, choose them on purpose and think the thoughts that are going to make us feel them and take the actions accordingly. All of that stuff. Of course we do. But what I also encourage you to do is look beyond the clouds. This is what embodiment to me is when I really think about it. I think about as I said the feelings are the clouds coming in and out of the atmosphere. And the atmosphere itself is what I embody as the truth of who I am. No matter what emotion is there, no matter what joyful or painful thing I'm experiencing in the atmosphere. I can experience it all but the atmosphere is constant embodiment goes beyond feelings because it's at the core of your essence. So when I think of something that I want to embody as who I am, it's free. That's part of the reason I talk about freedom with food in your body. When I talk in my own marketing, right, I want to speak to that emotion, I want to speak to that, to the point where it's deeper than an emotion, where it's just who you are. So even when things are hard, even when you're at a family gathering, and everyone's talking about dieting, or someone comments on your body, or you had an overeat, right, you go, and you just store me your entire pantry. Okay? These are things that are going to come up, and we are not going to feel great about it. That is okay, we move through these emotions. And we understand this is a part of the experience, embodied eating is non linear. So with this, you're going to feel awesome sometimes. And sometimes you're going to feel really hard. And sometimes you're just going to feel neutral, and Nam, all of it is welcome. And all of it is okay. But the atmosphere of all of this stuff that's coming in and out in and out, within the atmosphere is freedom. I choose freedom, this is who I am, even when I'm not feeling great, I choose to still embody freedom, as the atmosphere of where I'm at, and who I am, and how I make my decisions moving forward. And this is really great, because it helps you not become emotionally led, it gives you the power to really go beyond the emotions that you're feeling. So that you can respond instead of react to situations so that you can choose ahead of time how you're going to take care of that future self of yours. And it's independent of the emotions that you're feeling in that moment. I embody freedom, that is just who I am. Now, the embodied aspect of who we are really comes down to the values you hold true. So this, again, is a really important thing to be super aware of, what are your values, this goes beyond the emotions that you're desiring to feel. For me, freedom is such a deeply held value that I am building an entire career around it. So a very powerful thing, again, to do for yourself is to really understand and do some work around your values. What are they who are you, this is what defines you. And remember, a thought that you think over and over and over again, is a belief and a belief that you hold to be true, that you're like, that is something that I absolutely choose to believe as truth, that becomes your value. And I want to do a future episode just on values to help you really understand what your own values are. Many of us don't question this, many of us just go throughout our day, right? And we're marketed to and we are emotionally led by these feelings that we want to feel in the moment. But when you can really drop into the values and really become clear on who you are and why that is true to you, then you get to move forward. Again, not being emotionally led, but being able to choose accordingly. To be able to make decisions accordingly to really be able to show up for yourself in full integrity, knowing why you are doing what you're doing according to your values. So knowing number one if you're listening to this podcast, and if you are engaged in what I'm throwing out there, right, if you're picking up what I'm throwing out, most likely freedom is one of your values too. You do not want to be a slave to the diet industry, you do not want to look in the mirror and judge yourself according to how you look. Right?

You want to be able to feel free and to be able to take care of your most precious body in a way that serves you now a week from now a year from now, until the day that you die. And that is not by sticking yourself on that crazy diet cycle that never broken and that is freedom, my friend. So if that is something that you are choosing right now, look at your goals that you've made for this new year. Do they align? Do they align to that deeper value? And why? What are the emotions that you want to feel and do those align to that deeper value? And why? These are the questions that you have the honor of asking yourself okay, so you These are some steps that I encourage you to do. One is number one, again become very clear on the values, right? My main two values are freedom and joy. So joy comes into play that even if I'm feeling like anxiety, you know, I've shared on this podcast before that I really, I do suffer with PMDD, which man can be rough, I just went through a bout of it, and Holy moly. But in that even when I'm full of anxiety, and maybe I'm feeling like rage, right, like anxiety to the point where it's like, ah, underneath that there is an underlying current, there's that atmosphere of joy because I know who I am. I know that that does not define me. And I know that I'm a child of my creator. This gives me joy, even in my darkness. So knowing this is one of my values, it really helps me stay true to myself, it's like puts those blinders on on either side, and does not let me become swayed to whatever is being thrown out at me, even if it's my own brain. Okay, so yeah, knowing your value is number one. And then number two, ask yourself, How do I embody this, when all the clouds are floating in and out when all of these emotions, and this is a big part of taking care of that future self, knowing this is important to me, this is my value. And even when it's hard, I am going to stay true to me. Even when the lightning storm comes into your atmosphere, you are going to stay true to you. And then the next step is choosing daily, step by step, moment by moment, to live according to these values to live according to this embodied, of embodiment story of who you are. Decision making your motivation within integrity, continue step by step, moment by moment, day by day. And in this, what you will find is that life will really surprise you. When you live according to these embodied values, this embodiment of who you are, you don't need to like hustle towards your goals, you don't need to strong arm yourself, it can be light, it can be, it can actually feel easy, you are in flow, we see this all over the place to like be in flow. This, to me is what helps me actually be in flow. I trust life. I make decisions moment by moment, day by day, according to the embodied values of who I am. And I trust that life is going to take me in the direction that I meant to. And this might ring true to you and it might not. And that's okay. I would love to hear your thoughts about it. Does this make sense to you? Does this ring true to you? Is this something that you actually want to live by,

I really would love to have more of a conversation about it. Because this is the stuff that I like, think about on my walks, right? And like you're I'm in my office, closet office writing of all this and speaking on it. And this is so dear and true to my heart. And I want to hear what you think about it. And if you have any questions, so email me for sure. I'm actually using the email healthy chanci@gmail.com Because quite often, my domain email does not get to me. So if you want to email me healthy chanci@gmail.com or go on Instagram, let's connect there, make sure to follow me say hello in my DMs and let me know what you think. I really, really, really care and I really value your thoughts and opinion. Okay, so the last thing that I want to share in all of this is the phrase be willing to be surprised. I was working with a coach, I think it would have been around three, three and a half four years ago. And man, Were there a lot of decisions that I had to make for myself in my life. And I wasn't doing this values work at the time. But if I had it would have made a lot more sense. But she said to me Chanci be willing to be surprised. And that phrase alone really helped me drop in to my values without even realizing it. If I'm willing to be surprised and I don't have to strong arm my life towards a certain path that I think will make me feel a certain way. It allowed me to relax and to be in that flow. And I tell you oh my gosh, here I am heading into 2023 blown away with surprise of what Life has brought my way in this last year. Okay, my friend, thank you for listening in this, this episode might have felt a little bit confusing to you. And that's okay. If it did, please go back and listen. It's taken me quite a bit of time to kinda sort through the soul and own, you know, this philosophy in my own brain. And again, like I said, this conversation, I want to have it so if it intrigues you, if you want to have more of it, message me, let's go there. Happy New Year's have a beautiful, you know, first week, we're still in that first week. If you're listening to this of this new year. I just love you so much. Thank you for tuning in. Please share the show to the women in your life who need to hear it. Let's link arms together and make 2023 Our most fulfilled, value based embodied year yet, take care.