How to Deeply Honour & Trust Yourself: A Conversation With Stacey Vulakh | Ep.61

This show is about freedom. Freedom from your constant struggle with food and letting the size of your thighs determine your worth. Join me weekly for no hope back unfiltered girlfriend kind of conversations that will inspire, teach and empower you. As we tune into our own body's wisdom and tune out of the diet industry blinds, we can live our most radiant, pleasurable and fulfilled lives. My name is Chanci Dawn. I'm a non diet nutritionist embodiment and mindset coach. But most importantly, I'm a woman on a mission to grow a deeply connected and conscious relationship with food and my body. And I'm here inviting you to do the same. Let's go.

Hello, dear listener, thank you so much for tuning in to today's episode. I have to tell you, I just got off this call with Stacey Vulakh, our amazing guest. And I don't even have the words to express how I'm feeling but my body feels warm. Incredibly just like lit up and fuzzy inside. It was such a soul nourishing conversation. I'm so excited for you to tune in. So Stacy is a leadership consultant for ambitious women who want more without doing more. She teaches women how to let go of the rules and guilt and tap into and leverage their inner wisdom. And boy, did she ever do that on this call today. Enjoy

Welcome to it tastes like freedom, dear listeners. So happy you're here today. And I'm really looking forward to this girlfriend conversation with Stacey blue lock. We It's okay. So I didn't share this in the bio. But the what happened here, Stacy and I've been connected for a couple of years. Really love her. She's amazing, amazing woman and amazing coach. And she started a podcast a little while ago. And she asked me to come on and be interviewed just about embodiment. And all the juicy stuff I'm all about. And we have this great conversation. I'm like, This is gonna be so good. And then a week later, I got a text voice message saying I've decided to sunset it. I'm actually changing pretty much everything I'm doing right now. And you know, business wise, I don't know the other stuff. Maybe there's more. But business wise, and we're not going to do the podcast. And I just I stood there listening to your voice message, Stacey. And as I shared before we got on, I got goosebumps because I could hear it in your voice. This was not an easy decision. But it was a powerful decision. And you were moving forward for yourself. And I after our conversation. There's body based decision stuff going on here for you. I'm sure. So and she's nodding. I could see her nodding on video. So I was like I replied, of course, no worries. And will you come on my podcast and share this whole experience? Because a big thing that comes up for all women, right? My listeners, people who aren't listening people who will listen, women have in general, I'm generalizing. But a big thing that comes up often is I don't know how to trust myself. I don't know how to make powerful decisions. I feel so stuck. So when you shared what's going on with you. I'm like, let's talk about this. So Stacey, first of all, thank you for coming on. This is such a treat such a joy for me to have you here in my office additional about all stuff that matters. And it's such a blessing for my listeners because you are a powerful woman who's just made a powerful decision. Okay, I'm gonna let you talk. So why Why don't you just start I read your bio already. They know sort of that stuff about you, but who are you at your core? Like, what brought you to the place where you are giving back as a coach and coming on my podcast k like, let's just let's just start there who is Stacey?

From as long as I could remember, I have been a helper. And as I've gone through all the phases of my life I've been that person my network has gone to if they've needed advice or support or wisdom or just someone to listen to, and not even the people in my network but random strangers I can't tell you how many times I'm at a cocktail party or a wedding or an event or on an airplane, and within a very short period of time, a complete stranger or relative stranger is telling me their, you know, their deepest, darkest secret. And then they engage in conversation and saying, Wow, you know, this really helped or Thank you. So that part comes very naturally to me. And as I've gone through my career, I've chosen to stay or to be in a field where I can help. And I've done that in a variety of capacities, professionally. And then of course, I've, you know, gathered the tools and the training and the education to support me in doing that. And so who am I, I mean, that's, that is who I am, I like to show up and serve. Yesterday, I was at a volunteer meeting with my daughter were part of an organization called the NCL, and there were probably 20 moms and 20 daughters sitting in this room, and we are having a conversation. And just I love to be in there and ask a question or facilitate a conversation so everybody can get something from it. And everybody gets something very different from it. But I do believe we always get what we need. When we're showing up as our best selves.

eautiful. Oh, I love that. Yeah. And as soon as I met you that first call, you know, quite a few years ago, this was like pre COVID. It feels like a world. Alright, so much has changed. And I remember I felt that Oh, my, you know, we, we sat there and Stacy had messaged me. I don't even remember how it all started. But I don't remember. Do you remember Stacy? How did we meet like to remember why you reached out how we met? I

think it was what we went to the same coaching school. So we are part of some of the same circles, professional circles. And then you you threw out into the community, hey, if anybody is struggling or needs help with something, please message me, let me know. And I did. And that was a courageous moment and a bold moment to acknowledge, wow, I do need help. And here is someone who is kindly offering and to take you up on that. And to just acknowledge for my for my own self that, yeah, it's okay to do this. You extended the offer. And I'm going to step in and make that bold decision.

Wow. Thank you for staying. Yeah, so many bold

decisions we make. Yeah. There's so many bold decisions we make every day along the way. I I know, personally and professionally, personally, working through with clients. We think it's just one magical, big, bold decision. But the truth is, every day there are a million bold decisions we make you in extending the offer to help me in deciding, oh, wow, I'm going to listen to that. And then deciding I'm going to raise my hand deciding I'm going to reach out. I mean, there's for both decisions right there.

Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah, thank you. Like I said, Thank you for doing so it was such a great connection. And I remember you on the other side being like I want to coach, right, I want to coach and I'm terrified to go on video. And now you're not which I think is so neat. You're sitting here like I got this right. But I just remember feeling this woman has so much to give and so excited that you were going to put yourself out into the world. And now years have gone by and I've seen you I've seen you show up I've seen you shine and start your own coaching business, right? And now. So couple of years, your entrepreneur starting a coaching business. And now you've decided to shake things up. Okay, like, right, so let's talk about this because this is the powerful decision. And I love how this is full circle. Like we connected. You're like, yeah, I want to do this, right? Like really entrepreneur, entrepreneur. solopreneur. And you did it big, beautiful, powerful decision built this started a podcast. And now your heart is saying what

went on? Yeah, my heart is saying, it's not into it. She's not into it. And she hasn't been full for a while. But I've not been ignoring that. But more curious and kind of working with her. I see what I heard what she was saying. I kind of lost my passion, lost my excitement. And it's hard to know, if that's just a phase, if it's the moon, if it's hormones, if it's lack of sleep, whatever it is. And I tell people when you go through the process of learning to connect with yourself or just being your own best friend for lack of a better term, it. So much of that is showing up with yourself like you would a friend, if a friend called you and said, I'm not really into this anymore, you wouldn't say, Oh, get over it, or cool walk away, you'd probably sit there and probe and say, Okay, talk to me, tell me what's going on. And you'd ask questions, and you'd sit with her physically, emotionally, mentally, and go through the process with her. And that's what so many of us don't do with ourselves, we kind of beat ourselves over the head or shame ourselves or say, Oh, come on, you've, you know, you've been here, you put so much into this, just keep going. But that may or may not work for a little while, it is really the process of being a friend to ourselves, and being curious with ourselves and being respectful of what we're thinking and what we're feeling. And, and being there for for a moment. And so the process to start the podcast, took me a couple of months to wrap my arms around. But then to decide to sunset it took me probably took me a couple of months to and what was different about this particular time, because things stop and start all of the time, right? I think I know this to be the case. When we sign up to do something, we tell ourselves, oh, it's going to be forever, or I'm always going to have this job. But we're changing. We're growing. We're constantly evolving. And when we can give ourselves that grace, we can meet us differently. We can understand, and an accept. This is just for now. And sometimes for now is five years. Sometimes it's six months. And that's what the podcast was, for me. It turned out to be six months, I thought it was going to be a long thing. But it wasn't. And I'm okay with that. A different version of me might not have been okay with that. I would not have definitely been okay with that. But this version of me what I know now and who I want to be today, this 51 year old me knows that six months. That's what it was appalling. And I'm okay with that.

eautiful. So, oh, there's so much here. One of the well two of the pillars that I teach in the food and body Freedom program that I speak of all the time in it tastes like freedom. One is compassion and the others curiosity. And what I'm hearing from you, it's you've really rooted in those foundations when you're looking at what is right for me and going through the process to honor that as a friend. And I wrote down some things like you wrote friend, or you said, friend, curious respect, Grace, that's compassion, right? Being in that grace, and that like, Ah, I love to, oh, he's I do this. I look at my hands. Now my clients do this. And it's like, your little self in your hands going, sweetie, what's going on for you? What do you need? Right? There's nothing wrong. If you're feeling this way, nothing's gone wrong. We just need to love ourselves as a friend, like you say, and then get curious, Sweetie, what do you need? And that's what you've done here. So when you say your past self, what would that have looked like for you? And how? When did you change? Like, when was the past self? And when did you find this grace and curiosity and compassion to now be able to make these powerful decisions for yourself to questions there.

I've thought about that a lot. The change has happened and gradually over it, say, a 10 year period. And there isn't any one thing other than acknowledging something isn't working. And I can remember when I started to, I mean, you can relate to this. This is the work you do when I made the decision to stop dieting, to the diet mindset and the diet culture for what it was. And leave that behind. That was a big first step. Because I had been very much in that world for for decades. And realizing it's not working on so many levels mentally, spiritually, emotionally, physically. I was just I was so tired and exhausted and burned out. And there was this moment where I said I cannot do this another day. I cannot have another week. Look where things are great. You know where I'm on the wagon wagon? Yeah, another week on the wagon, right, and then a weekend where I just blow it, and then you wake up Monday I was I was so fatigued, I, I just could not do it anymore. So that was, if I had to pick a starting point, that would be the starting point. But it has taken a lot of practice a lot of compassion, a lot of continuing a lot of, you know, you swerve, it's never a linear linear progression. To get to the place where I am today, and there are still moments in my life where yesterday, we were at this event, that volunteer event, and I brought a bowl of fruit and a bowl of chocolates, and I had three or four chocolates, and I thought to myself, Oh, good gravy. Wow, what's going on here? And I noticed my actions. In the past, I would have said, Oh, Stacy, this is not good. This is what are you doing? Having three pieces of chocolate or four pieces of chocolate? And yesterday, what I did was oh, wow, you had four pieces of chocolate. Great. And it wasn't a celebration of Wow, you did it. But what's going on here? What's What do you need here? Are you okay? And it was a conversation that I had with myself. And when I got home. I saw that conversation unfolding in my head. And it was so different than the previous version of me. So that's the answer to question one, question two, the previous version of me, I wouldn't beat myself up, I would have shamed myself, I would have realized lack of a better word, I would have tortured myself and started depriving me of not only nutrients and food, but love and support and compassion, I would have berated myself, I would have been miserable. And how that shows up how that showed up for me was I was snappy with my family. I was not a great what's the word I'm looking for? I was not a great. I was not my best self. But I was not a great caretaker of my body of my mind, of my emotions. And now there's just so much more fluidity. It's almost like you're bobbing in the ocean. And you're you're kind of going along with it versus I felt as if I was always swimming upstream. And never, ever making any progress. Now life is just go with the flow, but not go with the flow as in. Oh, you know, I'm just letting the wind carry me. But I've got, I've got ideas, and I've got conviction and I have a compass and I have direction. But the way I go about it is more fluid, if that makes any sense at all.

Oh my god, it makes all the sense in the entire world. I love it. And I had no idea that this was part of your journey. And so, synchronicity, I just love synchronicity and the fact that this is Oh, what you just shared, like I feel quite emotional about it. Because this is what happens when we start showing up for ourselves and learning how to truly tune in into our wisdom into what is right for us and out of the lies of the diatas industry of the patriarchy of society. Putting all of this shoulds on us. That is not I say all the time. It's not determined by our own soul, right? And when you start to do that, what you will see is that shifts will start to happen everywhere. Because it goes back to that. I forget her name. Huh? That's terrible. Eat Pray, no, not Eat, Pray, Love. Whatever doesn't matter. She said, It wasn't Elizabeth Gilbert. And she said the way you do food is the way you do life. And she wrote the book Women food and god I can't believe I can't remember her name.

Yes, I want to say Jean Fein. But it wasn't. Yeah, Janine Roth

Janine Roth, thank you so much. Right. So she said that and I remember on a block when I started my whole healing journey with food in my body, and I heard her say that in my audiobook and I went Oh, wow. That makes makes so much sense. Though I see this playing out in your life. You start to you're like No more. No more. Respect yourself. Start listening to yourself starting to honor yourself. And now the way you do for deer food and the way you do food is the way you're doing life. You're showing up in your business this way too. So thank you for sharing that because That is a perfect example of what I see and what I desire for all women, when we get out of our own heads, right when we get into our bodies, and when we start to really wake who up who we are, then we do get to flow in that beautiful feminine energy. Right? Like we're creating this safe container for ourselves. I've got me, I've got my own back, and I am safe to flow forward. For what life is really calling me. Who am I and let's go in that direction. So thank you for explaining that. Like, oh, I just love it. I'm like, that was not planned, and it could not be more perfect. So fun. I love it. So good. Okay, so making this decision for yourself to change the path, right? You're like, I no longer want to be an entrepreneur. That's what you said for me. Oh, to me right now. Yeah. So when you're, when you're saying I'm just I was being there with myself, right. giving myself a moment, took a couple of months for the podcast. But what did this giving yourself a moment look like?

Basically, it looks, it looks like journaling, I'm a huge fan of journaling. And what that what that looks like, oftentimes, I have prompts that I work from, oftentimes, it's just the, it's the it's one stream of consciousness. So if I wake up when it first started, one of the first prompts was, I don't want to do this anymore. I think I don't want to do this anymore. And I wrote that down in my journal, and I close my eyes. And I asked myself, as I would, if I was having this conversation with a friend, tell me about that. And I just wrote, I just sentences, phrases, words, whatever kind of came out. And for me, I like to close my eyes. If I'm not writing, I put my hand, one hand over my heart, one hand over my belly, I take a few deep breaths. And I ground in and I sent her in. And I imagine that I go into either my heart, or my gut, or my belly. And I just, I'm just listening. It's it's almost like a little Tinkerbell kind of flying around in there, not as not as quick as she does, but just kind of hanging out there. Sometimes I can feel eat either under one of my hands under my in my belly or, or my heart. And I kind of I imagined that I'm there kind of in that heat. And what are the words that are are there? What are the sensations? A lot of times, it's not words, a lot of times it is sensation, because the body is always talking to us, right? And it talks very differently than our our brain. Our brain is words and concepts. And the body is it's feeling, it's it can be tight, it can be loose, it can be fiery, it can be warm, it can be there can be pulses, there can be just kind of gurgles, right? And that's a language in and of itself. And she knows your body knows, way sooner than our head knows. So that that was those were two very tangible things that I did. And then I noticed when I came into my office to record a podcast or when I was brainstorming or writing about what I was going to be podcasting about I paid attention to what my body was saying was it the excitement and the pole with which she's led me before? Or was she more reluctant did she did she not want to go into the office did I find myself avoiding going into the office or delaying recording the podcast so there were a lot of cues along the way to that i i picked up on

such a beautiful example we I call that dropping in. Right and watching you so I'm watching her on this video and she's literally hand on heart, right other on stomach womb space, and eyes closed and I could feel that like when you're touching your heart space and when you move your hand the warmth from like, yeah, like that is that is a body based decision. So from here feeling these internal felt senses Have you always had Have you always been in tune with them or is this something you had to learn?

I've always He's been in tune with my body for big things. I've had very big moments in my life where she has spoken to me where she said, I lived in New York for 10 years. And there was one night I was walking home. And I lived in a very safe near as safe as it could be in New York, right? I was walking down the street and my body said across the street now, and I did, because I knew she was talking to me very loudly. And I don't know, I didn't see anyone, nothing ever transpired. But I did get home, I was very safe. But there were these moments along the way where she would talk to me and I would listen. This cultivating the more subtle communication has been a newer process for me. And I've done it in a variety of ways. Back in 2020, I took a class called ich Tara, I sh t Ara, and it was all somatic healing. But we were women. She teaches how teaches women how to dance in front of other women, and your body dances, its story. And there are multiple archetypes that she's labeled. Tracy is the woman who created this various archetypes that she's labeled. And I learned through dancing. I was speaking a language called the good girl where I always did the right thing. You know, in air quotes, I followed the rules, I was there to look pretty and say nothing and you know, all a lot of patriarchal BS, right? This was how I was conditioned, growing up all parts of my story. And I became very fascinated with that version of me. And then we were taught how to kind of liberate and break free of those archetypes and embody different archetypes. And my body loves to communicate by hip moving hip circles, right, that's a big one, right, the sacral and igniting sort of that part of our body. And through this movement, I was one of the most profound ways I learned to tap in and tune into my body. So through dance, you saw me kind of touch my hand over my heart and my belly. That's, that's another one that another teacher taught me. But then just listening to what she says, how I get dressed. In the morning, there are days where I want to put on high heels and a dress she's communicating with me versus the days where I just want to put on jeans and you know, a sweatshirt, those are also ways that my body communicates with me.

Well done. Especially because you like me trained as a mindset coach mindset is, is beautiful. We definitely I love the saying like we marry the wisdom of our bodies with the power of our mind, right? And that's when it's like, Oh, holy crap, superpower stuff. Okay, but that it starts in the body's wisdom. And women are taught in our society to disconnect from that not to trust not to listen, right not to feel just like you said, all these things, all these messages that were conditioned into you. It's so normal. So for you to go, there's something more here and to be in this beautiful, like beautiful embodiment dance practice, where you're learning first of all about the archetype that you've been playing out, going, what Who am I actually and then healing that through embodiment, like that, well, well, well done. I'm so excited. And the fact that this is happening more and more and more to women who are in that mindset coaching space, I'm seeing so much more embodiment, I just want to celebrate that because this is the healing that we all need. And the fact that we can do this for ourselves and then spread the word and make powerful decisions. It changes everything would you say sorry, I'm just all I get all excited and then I'm like, but would you say that getting out of your head and into your body through this beautiful practice you just expressed helps you not only make a decision, but trust yourself on the other side because we can make decisions but then we question and all of this you know, chaotic stuff that goes on. So can you share your experience with that the trust part?

Yes, it is the missing piece because our head as You know, we have how many 1000s of thoughts throughout the course of the day 60,000 thoughts, 80,000 thoughts. So, when we make a decision based on our thoughts, we've got, I don't know, 500 reasons why we make this decision, but you're gonna have 500 or 5000 thoughts to not make that decision. But when you are in your body, your body just knows. And there's when you're able to tune in and tap, tap into that. It's such a knowing it's a deep connection. That when you when you start to see if you if and when you start to second guess that she, she'll talk to you and she'll, you'll just know it, because so here's what I like to tell people to practice to find something that they just, they just know so much. They love their children, or I love my dog. That's what you love your dog, right. So you sit there for a minute, you take

a few deep breaths, my children sorry.

Your heart, yeah, one hand over your belly, and you just, you breathe there for a short while. And you start thinking about your dog, and you love your dog. And why you love your dog, and your dog's name, and happy moments that you remember with your dog. And when you're cuddling with the dog, the feelings that come up everything about this moment, you feel that in your body and it feels a certain way. Your heart rate definitely slows down your shoulders, relax. There's so many physical cues that when you're paying attention, your body will tell you yes, this is so right.

I just be fuzzy and warm right now like when I think attacker like that's what's going on. Yes, like, I see when you said that, you know, memories, I saw him running through the field of daisies that I love to take him to or sorry. Not daisies. The other flowers can't think dandelions. And he was just so happy with his stick. And I just like I saw that. And my whole body just it was this fuzzy warmth all throughout. So absolutely. Yeah. Thank you. Yes, let's keep going. I'm doing this. I didn't know if it was an invitation to but you're, you're leading in it right now. Thank you.

Now that you know what that feels like in your body, it becomes the litmus test. So if you're faced with a question, all you have to do is ask your body is Is this true? For me? Whatever the question is, you know, you're, you're on the fence with something or you're struggling with something. You can ask, what does this feel like in my body? And if it doesn't line up with your truth about talker? Your body is talking to

you. Amazing. Yeah. I think Oh, yeah. I just answered a question in my body. Yeah, absolutely, Stacey. And I love that. The litmus test like grounding in something that you know, for sure. That is so powerful to then be able to go okay, this is what I know for sure. Here's the question. Wow, I can trust myself and what I know for sure, I can trust myself in this.

That is how people start small. We don't need to answer our life's biggest questions this way it would to start out with because if you're new to this sort of work, or you're just cultivating this relationship with yourself, and you're not really sure, start with something small. Do I want to go to the movies on Friday night? Or do I want to go to dinner it and it sounds silly. But oftentimes, when we have two choices, you can imagine also one in one hand and one in the other look at them, your head will your heart will guide you actually know I really do feel like I want to go to dinner with my friends because I haven't seen them for a while and I want all that connection. Because as a parent, you can also do that. But start with with small things that seem insignificant because they're low risk. And nothing is going to happen if you choose movies over dinner. And then you learn to cultivate that trust and you learn that Oh, yeah. Okay, this is working here. This turned out great. I went to the went to dinner. It was super fun. I'm so glad I went was a magical evening. And then the next time there's a bigger question that comes up. You can try this there too, and see what happens. It's a process, really a process.

And do you find that the more you choose that you do this, and you choose to trust your body, does she start to speak to you loud? Louder? Like, is she like, oh, what's your experience like that here?

She speaks to me more frequently, more frequently, I would say, louder, but not in that forceful example. I said before was walking down the street in New York City move out of the way. It's not like that unless it unless I'm in danger. But yeah, she'll, she'll, what happens is I just rely on her more often. So even on days, when I walk my dog ever I have two dogs. I walk them every day. And I'll walk out the front door, and I'll say, okay, which way are we going left or right today? And she'll tell me, it's almost like that scene. Sometimes in the movies where people look like they're being pulled or catapulted in certain directions yet, we're just going left today when I thought I wasn't gonna go right. So she shows up more regularly, once I invite her in. She is, I'd say, louder, but not in a scary way. Just, this is what we're doing today. And then there are moments where I don't get guidance from her. And that's okay. I don't make it mean that anything has gone wrong, or she's not coming. Or I'm, you know, I'm asking the wrong question. It's just okay, well, Today's a day, and that's fine. Where does my head want to take me or what looks prettier? You know, that kind of thing? Mm hmm.

Wow, you've built such a beautiful relationship with your body. And I'm so happy for you both. Like this, it's so special seeing a woman coming into her into herself like this, finding home in herself, and the way you've been able to express and, you know, explain your process is, is such a gift. So thank you. Thank you so much, Stacey. This has been so amazing. So what's next for you then? So the podcast is being sunsetted? You're like I'm done right now. Right? Right now, who knows? In the future? Right. With with entrepreneurial ship? Where are you going?

It's such a good question. And I don't have the answer.

Yeah. Your body's like, I know what I'll show you in time.

I don't have the answer. And there is definitely a part of me that is spinning or ruminating, but wanting to know, know the answer. And I realized that is conditioning that is perhaps an old way of being your brain wants certainty, right? Yeah, but my body knows for certain right now. Because when I can tune in, she just says to me, we're just here, just be present, just be in this moment. And I'm grateful that I have the luxury to be in this space to have some time, however much time I need to, to do that. And to go through that exercise. The name of my podcast is where to next. And so it was launched with the intention of helping women decide where they wanted to go to next. I'm 51, as I said, and there are so many women with whom I'm having this conversation of, wow, our kids are a little bit older, or maybe they're not even older. But I've been doing this job or this life for 1015 20 years, maybe it was intentional. Maybe it wasn't, but I want to go and do something else. Or I want to move forward and do something else. But I'm not really sure what it is, or wow, I never even thought that I could do something out, you know, all of this exploration around where we go, going next. And then creating that intentionally. Never did I imagine that six months into this, my creation where I was going next would be to stop this. So I, I'm, I'm here. I'm listening. I'm very much tuned in. And I'm just as curious as you are. I don't know, I'll keep you posted.

Yeah, please do. I'll be following you. Such a really fun place to be and when you're able to be in that place of grace and curiosity, instead of going I have to I have to or I should I should or something's gone wrong, then that gives you right that space to be able to go inside and to go into it's I'm moving my body you can't see me right now listeners, maybe you can't if you're watching a video, but it's like this the flow, right? Like, oh, what's that? Well, maybe over here, let's open that door and let's open that door. And it's such it's actually kind of this central place to be with yourself. Do you feel that?

It is? It's very much Yes, you said that and It's almost like you're dating, you're dating all these different ideas. And that can be I mean, that is a very sensual process. What sounds juicy, what sounds delicious, what sounds fun, and there's seasons for all of the things, right? Whether you're being productive, or you're, this is a, this is a, this is a fun moment. This is a my, my children are off for the summer, and we've got a lot of travel plans, and I want to be with them. I want to enjoy the fact that they're 13. And we can have these conversations and I can just be with them. Yeah. That part's not so essential. But it

absolutely is, right. Like you created them and you want to be with them, like it all is and when we can just be in that flow of that. Yeah, like it's all where do I want to go here, and even if this is hard, and here's the thing to some of the doors we open intentionally that are very body based, and we had no we have to go through them for can suck. Right here. They're hard. It's not just all like UHD, or number one or two. And that feels good. Like we're here for it all. And that's the thing that's so beautiful about this is that when you can you come home to yourself and you build this relationship with your body, and you know, you have you, you know, you have your own back, you can make these powerful decisions that are like, ooh, wonderfully pleasurable. And the ones that are like, this is so hard. This is so painful. But even in the painful ones, you can find that pleasure because you know that you're in alignment with you with your soul. Yeah, yes,

I have two stories that will embody that very concept. My I have twins, 13 year old twins. And I decided when I got pregnant, that I was going to deliver them naturally, barring any sort of medical challenge or necessity. And I did everything through that pregnancy to make sure that I could that I was aware of. I rested, I exercised, I ate well, I did all the things. I had conversations with them. I started seeing a chiropractor, because I read and educated myself about I was worried about my back. But you know that chiropractic care can keep you know, keep your babies in longer. And they were twins. So a lot of times they're born early, and I I didn't want that to happen. So do I feel like I'm omnipotent and God and kept them in? No, but I know, my body was in line and wanting to keep them in as well. And I did, I kept them in. I birthed them at 39 weeks and two days. My OB said around 36 weeks, we have to get them out your placenta is getting tired. And I remember saying what does that mean? And she said just what what what I said she's tired, your placenta, she's been working for a long time. And I said, Can we go another week? And she said, Sure. So we kept pushing it out a week because they were fine. And then at 39 weeks, she said, Okay, they've got to come. And I did I burst to them with no drugs, no rips, no tears, because I knew my body could do that. And she wanted to do that. So that was one. One example of knowing my body's power and really feeling it. The other one happened in March of 21. So I had been dancing with this char for a cup for a year. And I went skiing, and I fell and broke my leg. And I'd never had a broken bone before in that moment. And as I was laying in the snow, I was in Lake Tahoe I was looking up at that was a gorgeous blue sky. And there were all these green, green trees around and these white clouds were zipping by. And I just remember saying to myself, I am safest in my body. I am safest in my body. Because this is what Tracy would tell us all the time when we were dancing. Because our brain would go to the story we were dancing, but our body. If we could stay in our body, we were safe, right because your brain that's where the fear is. That's where all of the drama is the spin is right? That's where we drive ourselves. make ourselves you know, that's where we are, where the sadness is and the heft and all that kind of stuff. But when I could be in my body, I could feel the sadness and hurt very differently. It was very grounded. So as I lay there, I just kept saying I am safe here and I was very still and I wasn't hurt. I knew my leg was broken, but I could be there breathing, knowing that help was coming. I would, I would be okay. But if I started flailing about and freaking out, that was when I was going to really hurt myself as I waited for Snow Patrol to come. And my daughter was there and I was going to stress her out. But staying in my body during childbirth, and a moment where I had broken a leg, there was no pain, because I was, I was so deeply connected. It sounds as I'm saying it now I can't even imagine that those two moments happened, right? Where I was able to not be in pain and what you said, Those were hard moments for sure. Birthing birthing. Humans is challenging. Did I have contractions and hurt? Yes, but it was different sort of hurt. And the same thing with my leg. It absolutely hurt. But I was in my body. And I knew I was going to be okay. Wow. Yeah.

So beautiful, beautiful examples of that. Thank you. Oh, Stacey, this has been such a gift. I had no idea where this where this chat was gonna go to, you know, I just knew that you made a really powerful decision in your trust in yourself. And you are a body based woman. And this has been magic. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much.

I likewise have nowhere no idea where it was gonna go. But I always trust that we get what we need. And it's always working. And it's all for us. So thank you for inviting me here.

Oh, you're so welcome. Do you have any you given us so much wisdom? But do you have any last, like, pearls of wisdom, something your body's like, tell them this? Is there anything like that coming up? And if there's not, that's okay.

The only thing she's saying is this. For women of our generation, this pretty much goes against everything we were ever taught. Yeah. And that's okay. There are so many, you're out there teaching and guiding and listening to women, trust, trust our bodies, because generations, generations for decades, hundreds 1000s of years before where we are today, have tapped into the body's wisdom. And certainly cultures around the world continue to do that differently than we do. And there's a reason our body knows what she's, she knows. So stick with it. It is a practice. But once you once you decide this is what I'm going to do, it comes very, very, very quickly because she wants to be there for you. She's there all along.

She absolutely is. And I love the word long, right? I, I love to say like your body longs to talk to you. She has this like, come on, and I'm here. Right and, and then when you do tap into that, and you allow that trust that you are experiencing, and that is available to all women, all people but you know, Come on girls, right? It's like, just letting letting that bubble up and getting curious and being in the adventure of it. And thank you for talking about how this is nonlinear, right? There's days where you're gonna be so connected with her. And there's days we're gonna go Hello body, like, what the hell? What's going on? And that's all okay. And it's all welcome. And the grace that you've talked about all of this with is so ideal because we can, because we are taught again to disconnect. And then when we start to connect, it's like we have these shoulds on our bodies and on ourselves. And then again, it's just something we need to like re relearn deep brain decondition like break that down, right? There is no rules. And it's a it's quite the adventure, when you get to start tuning in and seeing where you both want to go together. So

and one more thing I'm thinking cuz I have one of my children, one of my twins is 13 year old girl. And I've taught her from the beginning in one of the easiest ways to do this is when you're in the store and you're buying clothes. Do you love this? And from a very young age, when she was on the fence, I would say do you love this? Is this your favorite piece of all that we've tried on? And cheap would say? No. And I would say Well, that's how you know not to not to buy this. And it can be as simple as that when you're staring at your clothes. Do I want to wear this today? Nope. Your body will tell you even food. Do I feel like a tomato salad again? Nope. What do I really want, right? You want the piece of cheese or whatever it is? Yeah, but they're just very simple questions. To start, start your are so small and start your children's small because they know to the body will tell the body always talking.

Yeah, absolutely. And it's so fun when you see that in girls like my daughter too. We are born embodied. This is just something that's taught out of us. So this is relearning what we already know. And what we did when we were little before, right, all those rules started coming in. So how fun for you to be able to not only condition your daughter out of that, but intentionally like bring her into it. Because we are raising a whole new gen like watch out world right? New girls coming along right? It's so exciting. My daughter will be Oh, one cute little story when she was so little because I'd always say I definitely wasn't intentionally practicing embodiment and just coming home but you know, if you're drawn to this work there's some spark in there that hasn't left since you were a little girl right? Like I knew I felt as you would have to Stacey and then anyone who's listening to it, you got it. Right there's that spark there. So follow it. But I remember my daughter she'd be like, oh, like Doesn't this feel good in my body? Are this all this food is this I now I don't use the word so much healthy for my body because healthy is bought you know, food is neutral, blah, blah, blah, all that stuff. But anyways, she'd be tuning in like this and then one day and I was so proud of her and I was just like, I'm doing such a good job here. And then one day she goes, Mom, what's my body like tuning in, and she was just saying all this stuff, right? So adorable. Like she wasn't even three yet. What's my body? Like? Oh, right. Okay, right. But she knew she you know her heart her body knew her body was still there. Anyway, Stacey, thank you so much. This has been such a treasure and any links that you want, like, I don't know, usually I'll put in an offer because people are other coaches, but you probably don't have one right now.

No, I don't have one. The best place to connect with me on email. If you'd like to keep it private. You can email me hello at Stacey V sta CE. Why the letter V? or Instagram at CC PL? Yep.

Thanks. Thank you for that you are such a blessing. Thank you for this wonderful conversation. And hopefully we'll have you on again soon. It'd be neat. You know, as your journey continues, I would actually really love that too. When you're like, Okay, your body's like, hey, right, like keep tuning in. This would be like a stay seated. We follow Stacy's adventure. Great. Okay. Thanks so much. And listeners. Thank you for tuning in. Please, please share this episode. Women need to hear this we all need to know that this is not only available to available to us, but I believe the most like juiciest, sensual, wonderful, powerful way we could ever lead our lives our bodies no and she wants to speak to you. Thanks for tuning in. We'll talk soon.