If It Makes You Feel Like Shit, Get Rid of It! | Ep.40

This show is about freedom. Freedom from your constant struggle with food and letting the size of your thighs determine your worth. Join me weekly for no whole fat, unfiltered girlfriend kind of conversations that will inspire, teach and empower you. As we tune into our own body's wisdom and tune out of the diet industry lives, we can live our most radiant, pleasurable and fulfilled lives. My name is Chanci dawn. I'm a non diet nutritionist embodiment and mindset coach. But most importantly, I'm a woman on a mission to grow a deeply connected and conscious relationship with food and my body. And I'm here inviting you to do the same. Let's go.

Hello, dear soul, welcome to today's show. How are you feeling? Let's really tune into that I wanted to mention that before we go further, let's just take a few seconds to put your hand on your heart, either on your womb space, or maybe both hands on your heart space, or give yourself a hug whatever feels the most aligned and the most cozy to you. And the most supportive to you just tune in with that for a second. Let's ask yourselves, how do I feel. And as you asked this, I invite you to go into your body. Just notice what's there for you. Notice what your stomach feels like, what your chest feels like, what your shoulders and your back feel like. Just tune into any of these internal felt senses. And ask yourself these questions. What color is it? Is it moving? Is it faster slow? Is it thicker, thin. This is looking at the texture of the different emotions. Our body shows us how we feel. And when we tune in in this way, it really helps to move through these emotions, awareness, bringing them up just like that Peony flower what's in here, and then feeling it. Ah, okay. I encourage you to do that often go in. We are taught, as we've talked about so often on the show. We are taught to only want to feel the good. We're taught to give you know the kids are cookie if they're crying. But this does not serve us going in and feeling serves us teaching our kids. It's okay to feel where you're crying. What's going on right now for you. How does that feel in your body? Where do you feel that honey?

Yeah, these questions are so vital. Okay, let's move on. Second thing I want to talk about here is my dog. You may hear some noises in the background. And that's my little puppy Tucker chewing on one of his bones. And it is it's hilarious. Really, I, I have a belt to home based businesses in the last 17 years with three little kids at home as a single mom. And I've been, I've managed to do that. And all of a sudden I get this puppy. And it's hard. My kids were like, okay, Mom, I get it. I used to say to them, Hey, we're partners in this. If you give me the space to be able to work and you only knock on the door, if there's an emergency, right, we had to get pretty clear on what the emergency was. But I used to say that to them. And then I'm like, if you do this, then we're gonna go to Disneyland to celebrate because this is all of our business. And it worked. And we went to Disneyland and had a great time when they're younger. And I'd like to do that again for them. But my dog, obviously that does not work. So I'm like trying to figure out when to do this when he's not going to be whining at the door or, you know, asking to go for a walk. So anyways, I bought him this bone. And he's sitting here and he's just loving it. But yeah, this is a challenge. And so excuse me for the puppy noises in the background. And so today, I'm wanting to talk about clearing the space so that you can grow. So if we think about our lives as a garden, right, we have this beautiful garden and or a garden space garden plot and we get to decide how we're going to take care of this garden. So I've had vegetable gardens and sometimes some years I'm so good. I like get all the good fertilizers, the natural beautiful fish fertilizers in there and maybe I put my leaves on in the fall and cover it with a plastic covering so they just really nourish that soil mix. Sit in in the springtime and, you know, weeding constantly and watering and just loving on the garden. When I do that thing produces, let me tell you that. And then there's years when I've just been busy and I have neglected my garden. Okay, I didn't prepare it right, I didn't plant the right things at the right time. I didn't take care of it along the way. Weeds took over the vegetables got a lot of them got choked out worms, other different pests, you know? And yeah, it really is quite noticeable the difference between taking care of the ecology versus not. So when we think about our life as a garden, what do you want to put in there? What do you want to grow? So for us, we're wanting to grow freedom here, right? We want to grow freedom, we want to grow body love, we want to grow our passions, we want to be able to grow energy, so that we have that to put towards the things that really matter to us, versus putting it towards dieting and trying to stop, you know, stay. According to society's crazy, ridiculous standards, right? We want to put it towards that beautiful nourishment of ourselves, that energy towards being able to really tune in, right, what is right for me here, what do I really need to feel alive? What do I need to thrive? These are the seeds we want to plant in the garden. But first, we need to prepare it. So this episode is all about preparing this garden. And what I really want to focus on is let's make space and like take out the things in your world in your ecology, right? That make you feel shitty. So of course, these things are circumstances. So when we look at that model I've talked to you about before, I know the circumstances neutral, it's what we think about it, that creates any emotion in us. And then this the most Emotion drives our actions or inactions, and this is when we get our results. Okay, and then our results always prove that thought, right? This is absolutely true. And all of these things in our ecology in our garden, these are circumstances they are neutral. But my friend, let's just make it easy on ourselves. Why have to do a tremendous amount of thought work right and constantly like thinking new thoughts about the circumstances to help ourselves feel better or feel neutral? You know what, let's just get rid of them. Sometimes the best way to think new thoughts is to take yourself out of that circumstance. So let's look at different circumstances in our lives that are making you feel shitty. Okay. So I jotted down a few things here on my piece of paper, about things in my life that I know trigger me, when it comes to body love body confidence. And then that diet, that voice, that brat brain voice, that rebel voice going, oh, you should probably do this, you should probably do that. Okay, so let's look at them. One is old clothes, you know, the jeans that I will never wear again. But, you know, hold on to. So I used to have like, my gosh, my high school size jeans up until my current size jeans in my closet. And it was like holding on to it. But for what is it like hope that one day I'll get back in there, right?

It's just this like, it really is a very non serving thing to have old clothes that don't fit you in your closet, or even in boxes in your attic. So let's look at that. First of all, let's get rid. Let's just donate all of the things that do not fit. And go further than that. I would go through your closet. And or I would encourage you to go through your closet and donate or just get rid of all of the clothes that do not feel amazing on you. Maybe they're too tight, maybe they're too loose. Maybe they're, you know, whatever they are, whatever it is, do an inventory. If it doesn't not. Here's the Marie Kondo if it does not bring you joy, let's get rid of it. Those clothing items could go to someone that will actually feel amazing in them and they'll fit them. So let's do that. Okay, number one, that's it old clothes. Another one is old diet journals. Do you have those around? You know, maybe like different food journals or different tracking journals. Take a look and see if you do because these things hold on to that diet energy that plays no, it has no place in here, right? We just do not need that. So look at them, get rid of them. So I used to have a time where I had to like journal every single day and answer these questions and track my weight and blah, blah, blah. And I had like this massive journal, for some reason that was really hard to get rid of. So that's where the thought work comes in. Right? That's where this coaching comes in. It's like, why, what am I thinking here about this journal that's creating resistance in me, and then I'm keeping it. And then the result is, is that I'm holding on to this journal with this dieting energy, and it is not serving me in the least. So dig into that, let's look at the petals of the peony flower and empower you to get rid of them. This also is something that a lot of us still have diet books and cookbooks. Now, I have a lot of clients and I experience it experienced this myself having cookbooks that are actually connected to certain different diets yet, they're just cookbooks. So I've kept them on, right. Like I used to do the GI diet. And then I had the GI diet cookbook, for example, or the Eat clean diet. And then I had all of Tosca Reno's cookbooks. And I really did have to check in energetically with how these made me feel. Okay, I've kept two of these types of cookbooks, all the rest, I donated, because they were just too triggering from old diets. And then little things that I opened up, you know, to go find a book for a different recipe for dinner. And also don't be like, oh, yeah, Gi Gi Gi, better be low GI better be low GI glycemic index. That's what that stands for, if you don't know. But notice the thoughts you have noticed the energy in your body, when you look at these different cookbooks or diet cookbooks that you have. And honor yourself trust yourself by getting rid of the ones that do not serve. And vision boards. So this could be a tricky one, right? Because vision boards feel really, like really good to us to make. It's like yeah, I did this vision board. But check them out. Check out ones from this Pat from past years, or maybe even this year. Do you have diet stuff on there? Do you have visions of a lean, you know, fit body that's unattainable for a healthy lifestyle that we want to live? Right? Look at the images you put on there, look at the words you put on there and ask yourself why. So I had one, I had a word about running. Because I do love running and I want to run more. This is a goal of mine. I feel great when I'm running. But then the image next to it was this teenage girl with a teenage body physique. And that is not attainable for me. So when I would look at this, and I would look at running, I like subconsciously didn't even realize it I was connecting the two. And that was actually a trigger. Okay, so that came off my vision board the running stays. So this is a very personal thing, you get to do what is right for you in this and there's no right or wrong, you just need to follow your heart. Okay, foods that trigger. So food is neutral, as we've talked about many, many times. And what's interesting is that when we're dieting, right, they tell us just don't bring these trigger foods into your house, unless it's your cheat day or or whatever plan you're on. And this actually creates restriction and makes us want it more. So this is an interesting sort of thing to do when you think about what happens there. But what I encourage you to do, what I invite you to do is look in your fridge, look in your freezer, look in your pantry, are there foods there that you depended on heavily in any of your diet or lifestyle programs that you were doing to lose weight. So if there are these might be ones that you don't want to buy for a while. I'm not saying that they can never come back if they bring you pleasure, right? If they're, they feel good in your body, and they're things that bring you pleasure. And you're like, Yeah, I love eating these. But if they're things that you have purchased in order to lose weight, let's consider the fact that your brain might still attach that energy to them. And again, only you know, but this is so important. So I used to be heavily involved with like a diet shake company and I would drink these shakes all day long. And yeah, I lost a lot of weight and then I gained a lot of weight. And when I was you know really learning how to heal my relationship with food in my body. These shakes could not be in my house. They were too triggering to me. Because when I was on this program, if I didn't drink the shakes, like if I ate something else, they would call it a four complete meal, like real food. If I would eat real food, I would feel guilt. I would have the shame feeling and fear that it was going to make me gain weight.

Eat. So this really started becoming quite disordered. For me personally, this doesn't happen to everyone, obviously. But for me, it became quite disordered. So when I was in this process of really healing my relationship with food, these shakes could not be in my house. Now, a couple years later, I drink them. I find them delicious, and they're super nourishing, they're amazing for you, really. But I've detached them from the diet mentality, they have nothing to do with weight loss or diet. They're just there because man, they made me feel good when I drink them. So this is the healing process, and honor yourself and just keep tuning in. This is the intuitive part of it right tune in, you will know what foods are very serving for you healthy for you mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. And what might be before might not be now and what might not be now might be later. This is nonlinear, have fun with it, and just get curious. So another one is social media. This is a big one. So this kind of hits on different levels, right. Sometimes, when we're on different diets or different lifestyle programs, we will follow different accounts that we find inspiring. So check and see if you are still following any of these accounts that you're telling yourself are inspiring, but they're actually like, ah, get in, you're trapped in the diet mentality. So check out these kinds. Also check out ones that when you look at that, they just don't make you feel good, right, whatever thoughts you have about them, they they're just triggering, let's just get rid of those just a notify, so that you can conserve that energy for the things that really matter. Okay, and then start following accounts that actually fill your soul that actually make you feel great. So that is something very, very important to do. And then also check out the ads that are being shown to you. So if you are a woman, most likely you are being shown diet ads for different programs, new keeps popping up on mine, like constantly. So with this, you can click and you can defect depending on what platform you're on. But or what app you're on, you can click and you can notify. But also you can also report. So if I'm advertised any diet thing like new or, or really anything, I will actually go further and I'll report it as offensive. And this energy feels really good. To me, it feels like a real like boundary, it feels like a very strong stance. And I think the more of us who actually report these ads as offensive, the better. And because they'll just keep pumping them out. I don't think we're going to change that. But I think it can shift the energy around it for us. So let's do that together. Okie dokie. And the last one here that I have down are people people in our lives. Now I'm not saying it to get rid of them. Not at all. Let's just focus on love here from our heart center, what do we need in order to be able to support ourselves on our journey towards this freedom? So tune in and just see what do I actually need here? It might just be a conversation. If they're talking about diets, if they're like, caught up in all of these conversations, guys, they're feeling caged, right? They're not on the same journey. So number one, what we want to do is we want to just sink into compassion. Sink into that like, right, okay, I've been there, I get this, what you're dealing with, I have to, and this will just really help us cultivate this heart centered, loving kindness for them and for ourselves. Now, do you need to set a boundary here? Perhaps, maybe you have to say, hey, you know what, I'm really learning how to love my body and nourish her in the way that she wants to be nourished, and to not diet anymore. This is a commitment I've made to myself. So I would really love it if our conversations can be about things other than diets. So that is something you can ask for. And then on the other side of that, remember boundaries isn't about anyone else, but yourself. They may still talk about it, they may still bring it up and then you get to learn how to take care of you. So in this for example, if you talk to your friend about this, and then next time you go for coffee, when she brings it up, you can just be like, You know what, okay, I'm just gonna go to the bathroom for a second. Excuse yourself, come back, start a different topic, right? There's a lot of different things you can do to support yourself in this this is really that supporting your future self right? How are you going to take care of yourself when other people are still on the diet train around you. So boundary setting could be one or or maybe you just need to limit your time with different people who are really like deep into this. And it's really triggering for you, you know, diet buddies and stuff like that. Maybe you just need to limit your time until you build up this grit around this right, this ability for it to not affect you and then get support you need from others on the same path you are on. Okay, I hope this made a lot of sense to you. And I hope you take it and apply it because cultivating the garden soil, right, being able to get all of that beautiful soil, pull out the weeds be able to like really nourish it. This is what we're all about here. And when you do this, you are going to have a garden that is ripe to grow. Next time we're going to talk about what to plant in that garden. Okay, so come back next week, please share this episode with someone who needs to hear it. Maybe if you do have a friend who's sick in the diet train right now. You'd be like, hey, you know what, I just heard this episode about food freedom and body love. And I'd love for you to listen to it. Maybe we can listen to it. And that's what we could talk about next time we go out for coffee. How is that for an idea? Okay, my friend. Have a beautiful, beautiful day. Thank you for tuning in. As always, I love you. I appreciate you and we will talk next week.