Pillar 2 of Embodied Eating ~ The Art of Permission | Ep.05

This show is about freedom. Freedom from your constant struggle with food and letting the size of your thighs determine your worth. Join me weekly for no whole fat, unfiltered girlfriend kind of conversations that will inspire, teach and empower you. As we tune into our own body's wisdom and tune out of the diet industry lives, we can live our most radiant, pleasurable and fulfilled lives. My name is Chanci Dawn. I'm a non diet nutritionist embodiment and mindset coach. But most importantly, I'm a woman on a mission to grow a deeply connected and conscious relationship with food and my body. And I'm here inviting you to do the same. Let's go.

Hello, and welcome to today's show. I hope you're having such a beautiful day today. And I believe that by listening to the show is gonna get even better. And if you're not having a great day, this show will help. It is all about permission. And permission is one of my most favorite topics to chat about. Really, it's for two reasons. One, because when you actually understand what permission is, when you actually get it and you apply it true genuine permission, when this becomes a foundation, a foundational value in your life in relation to your body and food. Everything will change. So the diet culture is absolutely opposite from this. So it can be really, really challenging. And this is actually another reason why I love chatting about it because it's so frickin charging to people. But when you move through that, and when you start to go, Okay, what if just even getting curious, what if, what if this can work for me, and you start to change your patterns and you start to live a life of permission, you will be thrilled with the outcome. I promise you that. So we are going to deep dive into this topic. But first, there's something I want to share with you. This morning, I want to peppermint tea. And I also wanted chocolate. So I went into my fridge, and I had some chocolate oat milk. And I steamed that. And then I made my peppermint tea in it. And the it is pleasure in a frickin mug fight. So where if you love peppermint and you love chocolate, you have to try this is so yummy. So if that's the only thing you take away from today's show, you've done well. Just Just joking, stay tuned because it is gonna get better.

So this last week was the official launch of this show. And I just want to say thank you, from the bottom of my heart. The listener response has been absolutely blow my mind. Amazing. I am in such deep gratitude. And I can't wait to share more with you guys. So I want to read to you one of the reviews that was left from can mom via Apple podcast, she says amazing chance he gets me her podcast is amazing. So relatable. So Real. Her approach to loving ourselves and our bodies is like no other. Stopping the diet, culture and coming home to ourselves through pleasure. Sounds like freedom to me. Can't wait to listen to more from her. I love it. Thank you, thank you. And I can't wait to give you more beautiful tips and tools and encouragement and just that support, you need to continue walking towards freedom. Beautiful. Another thing that I thought was really awesome is one of my girlfriends has been tuning into the show, and he's so supportive. And he wrote me and he said, I love it. And I've never thought about my body this way. And I've decided to name him, Carl. So he's walking around calling himself Carl and making decisions for Carl from a place of love and pleasure and all of the juicy things that he's learning on the show. So I think that's really fun. And thank you so much. So keep sharing, keep tuning in. You guys are so amazing.

So before we deep dive into all the nitty gritty details about permission, I invite you to just stop what you're doing. And if it's safe to do so close your eyes. And let's just imagine that we're going to a party together. You and me we're all dressed up and We didn't die it beforehand, there was none of that silliness, we're feeling confident, we're feeling sexy, we're feeling very grounded. And we walk to this buffet table in the middle of the room, and we look at it. And yeah, every single one of your trigger foods is on there. All of those foods, you try to stay away from all of those foods that you feel really out of control around the foods that you don't buy, if they're in your fridge, if they're in your pantry, you know, you will just eat them all. They're all there. Everything, pull us a whole bunch of other new foods that you haven't even tried. But I tell you, they look freakin amazing. And the really, really cool thing about this is that you don't feel a charge whatsoever. You still feel calm, you feel grounded, you feel completely at ease around all of this food. It really is exciting to you knowing that this food is there. It's fun, you know, you're gonna have pleasure from food tonight. But it's only one of the joys that you're excited about. There's so much in this evening that you're looking forward to. And yeah, food is a part of it. But that's it, it's just a part.

And also, you didn't have to prepare yourself. For this evening, you didn't have to eat a dinner beforehand, so that your full, you didn't have to have a protein shake to try to fill your body so that you wouldn't be so tempted by all the food. There's nothing like that here. There's no games involved. It's just you in your beautiful gown that you're feeling amazing. And I don't know why you're wearing a gown. But apparently this is like a gala or something. But you're feeling amazing. And there's just so much joy in your body coming to this party. And dinner is served. And you go up and you get your plate, and you choose what delights you, you choose what looks amazing to you, and what you know will feel so good in your body. And also what you know, maybe will maybe it will create a little bit of a sugar high. But that's okay, it's pleasurable, and you're going to eat just as much until it's no longer pleasurable, you know how to do this, you trust your body. And you also know how to take care of her on the other side. If you eat something that makes you feel a little bit a little sugar high or a little bloated. You know how to take care of yourself in this. There's no worry, there's no stress, you're just enjoying your meal, you're eating in pleasure. You've stopped when you when you are full. And perhaps you pick a super yummy dessert, and perhaps you have one bite of it. Perhaps you have for you tune into your body and you know exactly what she needs to feel amazing. When the meal is done, you just carry on with your evening, you go and you dance, you chat with people, you have so much fun. And there's no thought about that buffet table lingering. You're not feeling deprived, there's no going in there and sneaking little bits of this and little bites of that hoping that that'll satisfy you absolutely are free. You've eaten you feel full, you feel satisfied. And the rest of the evening is for other joys and pleasures. And when you go home, there's a no binging involved. You ate for satisfaction, you feel good. So you're not going into your pantry and picking up this and going into your fridge and grabbing some cheese. There's just none of that. Necessary. It is not necessary because you took care of yourself tonight. Your body feels good. You go to bed, you sleep well, you wake up rested. And the first thing on your mind that morning is what you're going to do with your day. Not what you ate the night before, not about anything to do with body image issues from the night before, or food compulsion issues. There's none of that there. And you thank yourself. You think about all the work you've done to be able to reprogram your mind for permission and you know that that is a huge part of why you are able to go to that party have so much fun and so much freedom and only have beautiful, amazing memories of it. Okay, how does that sound to you?

Now I know for me, I never thought that this could be possible. I couldn't even fathom having this type of freedom and this close connected relationship with my body where I could really trust her where I could give her full power Mission, I really felt like it would create massive chaos. And a lot of my clients, a lot of women I talked to feel the same way. They're like, if I give myself permission, if I tell myself, Yes, I can have that I can eat that, or eat however much of this I truly want, I will lose control, I will go completely chaotic, and I will gain tons of weight, and completely do the exact opposite of what I wanting for myself. Now, if this is where you're at, I really want you to hold yourself tenderly here, of course, this is what you're thinking, of course, these are the fears that come up, that are coming up, you are conditioned in our society, by the diet culture to believe that the only way that you're going to reach your goals with health, perhaps weight, whatever it is energy, the only way you're actually going to reach those goals is by control, controlling your food intake, restricting depriving, perhaps maybe eating at a certain time, whatever it is, but it's telling you to look outside of your body for what's right for you. I'm here to tell you that no one, no one knows what's right for you, your body is the best nutritionist, you know. And when you truly understand this and drop into this truth, when you embody this truth, you will be on your way to freedom.

So let's get into the science around this. Again, it acts very similar to what's going on with pleasure, right? When you deny yourself pleasure, your body will drive you towards it because it thinks it's stressed and thinks you are at threat. If you don't have it, it's very, very safe here. So when you're restricting, when you're not eating certain food groups, or restricting the amount or the time or whatever it is that you're doing, your brain feels stressed. And when your brain feels stressed, that primal part of you will go, ah, we are under threat. And when this is done, your beautiful brain loves you, she is wired to protect you. And when you're in this restriction, using self control, using willpower to be able to control your food, your body will drive you to eat, she will drive you to eat because maybe you're not getting everything you need all the fuel you need to be able to thrive. Or maybe you're not getting a certain food group that you actually really need. Or maybe she's just really afraid that you're really close to starvation, right to a famine of famine is coming, because of the fact that you're depriving or restricting so heavily. Whatever it is, your brain will register that as stress and she will drive you to eat, she will also slow your digestion. So when you're in the self control mechanism going on your body will go oh, we need to kick up a notch here. And we need to pay attention so that we can save her. So they will it will slow your digestion. And it will also slow your metabolism. It is just so crazy that the diet culture keeps telling us that what we need more of is more restriction, more deprivation, when the science shows the exact opposite.

So now enter in permission, permission just like pleasure. It feels very, very safe to your brain. When your brain feels safe, your body relaxes, everything feels good. There's no need for willpower, there's no need for self control. There's no need for restriction here. And when you're not restricting, when you're free, your body can go okay, what do I really want hear what actually serves me. So this permission doesn't mean that you just go crazy, right? It doesn't mean okay, I want to eat all the Oreos, so I'm just going to eat all the Oreos? Absolutely not. What it means here is allowing yourself to have Oreos if you truly want them. When you get rid of the note when you get rid of the, you know that restriction mentality, then you can actually deep dive into what's really going on with your desires and your cravings. So take that Oreo cookie for example. If you're being driven if you have this crazy craving and you're like I want all the Oreos permission allows you to stop and go okay. If I can have these Oreos, and there's no guilt, there's no you know nothing to it. Do I really want them and why? And then you get to go investigating right? Is this like a sugar craving thing? Am I do I just need to eat a meal. Am I crashing here for Perhaps there's something emotional going on than I need to really love myself through and address, what are my real, real deep needs here. And if you just come to the conclusion that you want a cookie, then have it. But this is what you'll find. You will find that over time, because this does take time, this is reprogramming, so don't think that this is going to happen overnight. And that's why staying in tune here and connected to this podcast. And perhaps working with me one day will be really valuable to you. Because it does take time. And there definitely is the process.

And at first it can feel crazy. At first it can feel chaotic, okay, but what you will do is eventually go okay, I give myself permission, true genuine permission here. Do I really want it check in, right? Do this little curiosity, body scan, emotional scan, learn what you really want. And if you want the cookie, have the cookie. But when you are eliminate the judgment or the guilt or the shame around it, then you can actually feel satisfied with the cookie, then you can actually tune into the pleasure. Instead of like eating it kind of behind your back. You know what I mean? I think you probably do. A lot of my clients are like, I feel like I'm just under control. And I'm like, no, no, no, or I wake up and I do really, really good all day long. And then all of a sudden, I'm eating behind my own back, my hands are in the cookie jar, I'm cutting pieces of cheese, I'm eating all the stuff as I'm making my kids dinner, and it's completely out of control. So this will absolutely eliminate this problem. Permission will give you the ability to take your power back. Do I want the cookie? Yes or no? Okay, yes, I'm going to have it, I'm going to have one, I'm going to love it, I'm going to find so much pleasure in it. And then I'm going to carry on with my day. Oh, it's just so beautiful. And it really is, you know, it's in the practice of it, where you're really going to see the difference. I could talk to you Baba blah all day long about it. But until you truly start doing this and having permission as one of the foundational values around food, you won't truly grasp how liberating this is. So my hope my prayer for you is that you're going to apply this. And again, keep connected to me, I have so much free content. And then if you are perhaps wanting to investigate working together, definitely connect with me. And we'll chat to see if that's right for you.

Now, I want to leave you with this, there are a few really important things to consider when you're setting yourself up for success around this entire permission foundation. One is it's not always about restriction. Your compulsive drive to over eat is not always because you're depriving or restricting. One of the other things that can be happening is that you just don't have enough nourishment for you. And this again, might not be because you're intentionally restricting or depriving, but it can just be disconnection from your body's cues. When we are dieters, what often happens is our body just stops showing us what she actually needs. The cues are still there, but they become really, really quiet. And sometimes they're they just seem completely absent. You don't know when you're hungry, you don't know when you're fall, it's really hard to even tune into when you're thirsty. This is so common for so many people. So again, have tons of compassion for yourself here. But a first step is to make sure that you are eating enough. And start with breakfast. Make sure that you get a good breakfast in something that feels nourishing and satisfying to you. And if you're not hungry, check in with the why perhaps you're drinking coffee before you eat. And that is an absolute appetite suppressant. And quite often, you won't feel hungry until quite late in the day if you're starting your morning with coffee. So just consider things like that. And again, become that investigator of yourself. And as you start to tune in more and as you start to pay attention, those cues are going to become louder, you're going to wake your body up and as we've talked already before, this is about relationship building. You're going to start listening to her she's gonna start responding and this beautiful relationship will grow. But it does take effort and it does take time. But that's okay because you are worth it.

So get your food Annie have enough tune into those cues. I'm going to be talking in future episodes about a really cool tool called the hunger scale. So we'll deep dive into that. And then you'll have that tool to be able to use for this very thing. Now, the other thing that's so important to consider here is the other areas of your life where maybe you're denying yourself and you need to give yourself more permission. Do you need to rest more? Do you need to speak your truth? Do you need to pee? I had a client this last week and her big thing was Chauncey, I actually felt the cue of my body saying that I needed to pee. And instead of continuing to work and ignore it, I did it. I went to the bathroom. And that is such a win. So all of these things need to be considered. Look at your life closely. Where do you need to give yourself permission? My advice to you is, number one, give yourself permission to stop dieting for ever, and then your work in all of these other areas will begin. Well, there you go. I want to call you sweetheart. I was gonna say There you go, sweetheart. So I'm just gonna leave that you are a sweetheart. Thank you for tuning in. I am just so honored to be able to share this wisdom with you. And please, if you have any questions, do not hesitate to drop message me on Instagram. Another thing that is really fun is you can actually leave a voice message on to me on there. And then I can answer your questions on this podcast. So please do not be shy. Let's continue this conversation. Ask me the questions. I am here for you. I love this and I can't wait to connect with you more. Until next time, my sweetie pie Take care.