Weight Gain & Embodied Eating | Ep.15

This show is about freedom. Freedom from your constant struggle with food and letting the size of your thighs determine your worth. Join me weekly for no whole fat, unfiltered girlfriend kind of conversations that will inspire, teach and empower you. As we tune into our own body's wisdom and tune out of the diet industry lives, we can live our most radiant, pleasurable and fulfilled lives. My name is Chanci dawn. I'm a non diet nutritionist embodiment and mindset coach. But most importantly, I'm a woman on a mission to grow a deeply connected and conscious relationship with food and my body. And I'm here inviting you to do the same. Let's go.

Hello, my friend, welcome to the show. So I was just, it was just my kitchen, listening to the song I'm super all over right now I'll actually put a link to this song. In the show notes. It's nothing special. It just has a really good groove and just makes me feel really alive. So I'll put that in the show notes for you to listen to on Spotify. And so I'm in my kitchen. No one's home. And I'm dancing away with my big orange cat like literally holding this cat like a baby. And he's looking up at me and I'm just grooving. And I'm like, holy crap. I feel so good right now. And this would be a really good time to record a podcast just because my energy is just so on fire. And then I'm like, Why am I feeling so amazing? And I looked at my phone, checked my calendar where I track my cycle. Sure enough, I'm in the middle of ovulation. So yes, of course, I'm feeling amazing, super full of energy really alive, super creative, really connected to my body, and great time to record a show. Now, if you haven't listened to Episode Eight, with Tara McCann, all about tracking your cycle, please do this. What I'm talking about may seem kind of like woowoo to you if you haven't, but go back and listen. Because yes, this stuff is so real. And man, when we're ovulating. Girls, we are these beautiful, creative beings, this is the time to really get out there and shine. So here I am doing the show for you on a Saturday morning totally wasn't planning on doing it now. But here we go. So today, what I'm wanting to talk to you about is the fear of gaining weight with embodied eating. This is so normal and to be expected. So think about it. We are in a society where we are inundated from the tiniest, tiniest little girls to be worried about our failure, right? Like women's oh my goodness in this patriarchal society, women's looks are what is considered their power. Right. So if you think about this, it is it's just so true. We are taught to these little girls like Oh, you're so pretty, you're so beautiful. And then we grow up and we start noticing other people we start getting these messages and this diet, culture infiltration into thinking that the size of our body is determining our worth. It is every where, so embodied eating embodiment is about coming home to yourself. And like I said in the intro, realizing and truly embodying that the size of your thighs, does not determine your worth. And we will talk about more and more of this on this show. Body image self confidence really owning your body as your home is a primary primary of goal of mine in my own life and in helping you and this conversation has to happen because because of the fact that we are we are actually conditioned to be fearful of fat gain. We are conditioned to be fearful of not being at society's somewhat like their ridiculous made up standard of what a woman's body should look like we are taught this we are conditioned. This is part of what keeps women playing small. So in order to live our best, most beautiful and creative and amazing lives. We want to bust through this. So let's talk about this. Okay, because when you stop dieting, when you choose to tune into your body signals for what it needs to feel the best to thrive and to feel the most alive. Of course this is going to come up especially if you've been in

Chronic Dieter your whole life. So first of all, compassion, right, sink into that pillar of embodied eating and get curious. What is it that I think that having this ideal society standard of weight of what my body should look like? What do I think that's really going to give me? How will that actually make me feel, because this is actually the driving force behind this fear, right, we think we are conditioned to think that we will feel amazing and loved and accepted and confident and all of these things, if we're at this certain weight. So it's actually the feeling that we are going after. And I really want to encourage you in this is that you can have all of those feelings, you can experience all that you want to at whatever weight you are right now. And whatever weight you will be in the future. It does not it is not your weight that determines this, it's your thoughts about it that does. So stick with me, we are going to be digging into so much of this in future episodes. And definitely in the group program that I'm going to be launching in the fall, we are going to really drive this home, we're going to live it, we're not just going to learn it, we're not just going to hear about it, we are going to apply it and live it and show up in this every single day. So let's talk about this. Oh, my goodness, I'm on fire.

I want to just be a coffee with all of you. Let's just go and like hang out and chat all about this. I wish we really could. So let's pretend we're doing that now. Okay. So the thing about our weight, the truth about our weight, and why diets totally suck, and will never truly work long term is the fact that there's something called weight set point. Okay, it's a theory. But in my experience, this is an undeniable fact, I have seen it in my own life. And I've seen it in my clients life. And it's just science to me. So I'm going to explain this to you. Because I really want you to understand that this isn't just about mindset in your way to be at whatever weight you are, and be okay with that there's science behind this. And the more you understand, the more power you will have to be equipped to choose amazing for yourself. Okay, so the weight set point theory goes like this, there is a range, a weight range that your body feels best at, it's balanced, you have energy, your hormones are balanced, and all everything is working as it's meant to. Now what happens is when we die it, what the body freaks out, because the body is designed to keep us at this certain range. So it's like a five to 10 pound range, okay, your body wants to keep you there. So when we die it the body literally is under threat. It's under so much stress, because it's thinking that there's a famine, it's thinking that you're starving, okay, so it is going to do everything to keep you at this weight. And to do this, the body actually will slow your metabolism, it decreases your satiety cues, so you won't feel full and satisfied, okay, it wants to keep you eating. And it increases your hunger hormones. Hey, this is at a very deep, deep hormonal and cellular level, you guys, this can't be denied. And it will also create the desire to eat more. And usually it's the desire to eat more high calorie foods. So when you look at this, this really I hope drives home, the fact that it's not the lack of willpower. It's not the lack of self control that is keeping you quote unquote failing in your diet. Okay, what it is, it's biology. Your body loves you, your body is here to keep you in homeostasis. So think back to high school science class, this is keeping you in balance. So it's very similar. I heard this analogy on another podcast and it's very similar. It's not really an analogy. It's exactly what it is.

So to help you understand this is very similar to temperature. So homeostasis with temperature. If you are getting too hot, then you will start to sweat. Right and if you're getting cold, you will start to shiver. And this is your body's built in way to keep you in balance to keep you We're in homeostasis, so that you will survive, we cannot stop this, we cannot stop ourselves from sweating, we cannot stop our bodies from shivering, it's just biology. And this is exactly the same with the weight set point. Okay, we cannot stop our bodies from doing what they are built to do. Really, really think about this, because when we are dieting, what we're doing is we are going against our very biology on our bodies deserve better than this, your body deserves so much more than this. So what we want to do is we want to pull back. And instead of dieting instead of the focus being on our weight, right, we want to trust our body, that when we listen to her, when we really learn what she needs, when we start really diving into these cues, and waking up these sensations. And if you've been dieting, a long time, these are really quiet, they might seem absent. But this is why I'm doing the show is so that I can help you, I can help you wake them up, I can help you really learn how to build this relationship with your body, so that you can listen to her for what's best for her. And in doing so focusing on health versus weight. This is what your body is going to thrive in. We want to focus on what foods give me energy, what foods make me feel alive, what foods helped me sleep the best, all of these different things that really, really, really matter. And what foods give me pleasure, okay, and we'll talk about this, how pleasure plays into this in a bit. So when we focus on this, instead of focusing on what foods will make me fat, what foods will make me skinny, your body will thrive. And it'll settle into its natural range that it's meant to be at.

Now, here's the thing, this range most likely will not be according to society standard, okay? What women are told that we should look like it's absolutely completely not within what's actually healthy for the female body. Now, that's not for everyone. Okay, so some people are just really naturally naturally thin. That's where their body rests at. And this is what's really important to understand is your weight. setpoint is determined by genetics, we cannot change this, this is just the way it is. So this is why embodiment and mindset is so vital. As you're working on listening to your body's cues, and really, really trusting your body, that the weight that she settles, that is what's best for you. Then we also need to learn how to manage our minds, and we learn how to learn how to embody the truth, and embody that feeling of your body is home, no matter what set weight point she wants to be at. And this is where the coaching comes in. Because this is hard. We live in such a you know, we live in a society that is just screaming at us left, right and center, that our worth is determined by how we look. So this is where that compassion, that curiosity, that community linking arms with other women on the same path, curating your social media feed to see real bodies, this is where this is important. Okay, now, going back to this homeostasis. When you die it what happens also is if you go below this range, your body will not only fight and use all of those different mechanisms we've talked about to bring you back up. But what she's going to do is she's actually going to raise the set point, she's going to raise the range to keep you safe. So in case there's another famine, right in case you go on another diet, then she'll be like, Okay, if I lose weight, I'll still be healthy, I'll still be able to be balanced. So this is really, really crucial to understand. And this is why yo yo dieting happens. And every single time you go on a diet, usually what happens is you gain your weight back, plus another five, right? Does that sound familiar? It's so my gosh, it's just science. It's just biology. And that's why I'm like, wanting to scream from the rooftops like, Come on people. Do you not see this paint? Like the diet industry is just such a wicked trap that will always, always hold you in chains. And it actually goes against exactly what you want to be happening. So 97% of diet to fail, this means that yes, you may lose the weight, but you're gonna gain it back. And then some, that is a crazy, crazy statistic. And yet we are continuously marketed to go on the next diet, to restrict to deprive to count our calories, too fast to do all of these things that actually, in the end create exactly what we don't want, there is a problem here, there is such an issue that women are putting our energy into this, that is never actually going to work. Come on, I am like, furious about this. Ah, okay, so, let this help you, again, to recommit to never dieting, again, my love, you are worth so much more embodied eating, and just really coming home to yourself will set you free, I love it.

Now, when we look at embodied eating, what will happen is yes, your body will set it settle into this range that it feels best at that it functions best at. And what's really beautiful also about this is there's not going to be any ups and downs, you're going to settle into this range and kind of fluctuate up or down five pounds throughout the month, depending on where you are at in your cycle. And this is also really normal and to be expected. So that steady, beautiful weight setpoint is, to me, it just feels so warm and free, and absolutely beautiful. But again, for me personally, it did take me quite a bit of my own self coaching and getting coached from others to be able to really drop into this and love my body and respect her exactly where she's at right now. Now, let's talk about weight loss in embodied eating. So what you're probably going to find, if your typical, right, if this is your body sort of does, the average thing that I noticed happened with me with my clients, and that the science indicates is if you've been a chronic Dieter, and if you're at the lower end of the weight in your dieting cycle, okay, if you're there, when you start embodied eating, chances are at first, yes, you will gain weight, okay, if you're at the upper end, say you're in that, like the time when your body has put on some extra weight and you've gained a lot more back after dieting, then you may not okay, but trust that your body is going to do what she needs to what's right for her to balance out and to start to trust you again. So from that point, it's going to settle into the comfortable range, that healthy range that it functions best at. And this is where again, that coaching comes in, so that you can really start to love her, and to feel all of these wonderful emotions that you are so driven to feel at that new weight that you are settled at. And then from here, this might happen. So when you look at dieting, okay, dieting is very, very stressful to the body, it's actually very traumatic to the body. Also, lack of genuine pleasure is very stressful to the body. So if you're dieting, there's a lot of restriction, right, a lot of deprivation. And then a lot of punishing approaches like punishing exercise, shame, guilt, all of this stuff is very, very, very stressful to your beautiful vessel that you're living in. And also frozen tension. So this is another name for trauma. When we've had trauma in our lives, it is stored in our bodies. And this is very stressful to her body. And this also causes our body to hold on to weight as a form of protection. Because again, all stress is the same to her and she thinks that she needs to hold on to weight she needs she thinks she needs to gain that weight to keep you safe. So all of these things dieting like a genuine pleasure and trauma is stressful, which will cause your body to gain weight and hold on to weight. So when we enter into embodied eating, what we're doing is recreating relaxation for our body. Okay, we are no longer dieting there's no longer that yo yo she is feeling listened to. She's feeling love. She's feeling trusted and she's feeling honored. And this is very fun. Very relaxing to her. This is the relaxation response. And also, with embodied eating, this is so much more about food. So when you look back on the other episodes I've done about pleasure, right? Pleasure is a foundation of embodied eating, and pleasure, genuine pleasure is very relaxing to your body. Now, the other thing with this is we want to go deeper. And in my program that I'm launching in the fall, there's a lot of healing involved, okay, this is moving the trauma out of your body, we cannot think our way out of this, we actually need to feel this, this energy in there, feel these emotions and move it move this frozen tension. And feminine embodiment I find is one of the most powerful ways to do this, to move through this so that we can finally feel free so that we can finally Oh, release, and our bodies can feel safe. Again, we hold trauma in our bodies. And when we're doing this, our body will hold on to this weight. And I really am repeating this because I want to drive this home. So if you're holding on to this trauma, and you're dieting, and you're restricting and depriving and maybe binging right and thinking that that's pleasurable, which it's not, that's false pleasure in your body experiences, this is stress. And then you have all of these thoughts about yourself, guilt, shame, judgment, all of this stuff, this is incredibly stressful, and your body will hold weight. So the one of the beautiful things about embodied eating is all of this is addressed. So once you get to that setpoint, and your body is in its range, and then you start working on all of these other areas, and your body starts to relax more and more. Chances are, it'll settle into a lower weight. This is what's happened with me. Okay, so I got to boat like 20 pounds more than my brain thought was good. Okay, my setpoint was there. And then over over time, as I've been just living a life of pleasure, living a life of joy, on purpose, dealing with all of the traumas, healing, and really building community around this and promising my body over and over never to diet again, and to work on these thoughts of guilt and shame and judgment and not enough and all of this stuff. Working on all of this stuff has allowed my body to relax. And now I've settled into a weight boat, five pounds less than that setpoint, which I originally settled at. So I'm not saying that this is going to happen for everyone, okay, your body is unique. And this is where the coaching comes into to be able to trust that your body is going to do what's right for her, trust her build this relationship with her and don't have expectations for her. This is where the curiosity part comes in. It's like hmm, I'm really willing to be surprised. I'm learning to trust life.