Aug. 7, 2024

Why Do Seasoned Friendships End? | Episode 112

Why Do Seasoned Friendships End? | Episode 112

The Power of Vitamin G: Strengthening Friendships for Success and Happiness

In this episode of Seasoned Women, Serious Business, host Isabel Alexander discusses the importance of 'Vitamin G'—a metaphor for the supportive and empowering role of girlfriends in both personal and business life. 


Isabel shares insights on maintaining and evaluating friendships, and introduces the 'Friendship Health Checkup' tool. She reflects on the evolving nature of relationships, the significance of reciprocity, and how life changes, such as health issues and business transitions, affect these bonds. 


Isabel also hints at future episodes focused on creating strong mastermind groups, encouraging listeners to stay tuned for more wisdom and actionable advice.


00:00 Introduction to Seasoned Women, Serious Business

01:28 The Importance of Vitamin G

01:44 Attributes of Successful Women Entrepreneurs

02:33 Building Emotional Trampolines

03:15 The Secret to Success: Vitamin G

04:20 The Dynamics of Friendships

07:06 Challenges and Changes in Friendships

13:30 Evaluating and Prioritizing Friendships

14:47 Friendship Health Checkup Tool

18:00 Conclusion and Next Episode Preview


About the Host:

 

Isabel Alexander

Your Next Business Strategist and Transformation Catalyst

 Isabel Alexander's journey from modest beginnings to global recognition epitomizes entrepreneurial resilience and innovation. With over five decades of experience spanning diverse industries, she has become a driving force in shaping economic landscapes worldwide. Noteworthy accomplishments include founding a multimillion-dollar global chemical wholesale business and earning accolades such as Canada's Top 100 Most Powerful Women.

As a mentor and advocate, Isabel empowers women entrepreneurs through initiatives like the Lift As You Climb Movement and podcasts, guiding them from startup to maturity. Serving as Chief Encore Officer of The Encore Catalyst, she dedicates herself to coaching and educating emerging entrepreneurs. Her involvement in organizations like RenegadesReinventing.com and Femme on Fire underscores her commitment to leadership and business development.

Additionally, Isabel's advisory roles with government bodies and trade associations, such as Chair of the Canadian Association of Importers & Exporters, highlight her influence in shaping trade policies and fostering international relations.

Driven by her mantra, "Lift As You Climb," Isabel embodies the ethos of mutual growth and empowerment. With dual citizenship in Canada and the United States, she values her extensive family and embraces global connections through travel and professional engagements. Isabel Alexander's narrative serves as a beacon of inspiration, illustrating how visionary leadership and strategic advising can drive global entrepreneurship and economic independence forward.


Founder:

Lift As You Climb Movement (www.facebook.com/groups/liftasyouclimbmovement)

and

Chief Encore Officer, The Encore Catalyst (www.theencorecatalyst.com) – an accelerator for feminine wisdom, influence, and impact.

also

Author & Speaker ‘Who Am I Now? – Feminine Wisdom Unmasked Uncensored’ https://whoaminowbook.com/


LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/isabelannalexander/

 

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If you have questions about this episode, please send me an email at Hello@TheEncoreCatalyst.com

 

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Crossroads Clarity Solution

Who Am I Now Book

Transcript
Speaker:

Welcome back.



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Happy to have you here today because today we're going to talk about vitamin G.



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And if you don't know what vitamin G is, stick around because I'm going



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to explain it and you're going to want to get some of it for yourself.



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But first, how did we get here?



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We talked two weeks ago about why I believe I presented my case



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and why I think that



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we, as women of a certain age, seasoned in our life experience and as business



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owners are positioned now to be the best leaders, the best entrepreneurs,



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and the best role models for so many.



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And how do I justify that?



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I listed all of the attributes, the characteristics that



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really support that case.



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If you didn't catch that, go back and listen to, I think



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it's episode 110, and see.



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If you disagree with me, I'd like to hear.



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And if you have some ideas, maybe I omitted some important attributes,



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please let me know that as well.



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Then last week we jumped into, pun intended, trampolines.



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The conversation about trampolines and why I believe that building our own



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emotional and inspirational trampolines.



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is a very smart strategy and I have learned over a life of bouncing, jumping,



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falling, picking myself back up again.



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the absolute value of having my own carefully strategized and



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constructed and celebrated trampoline.



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Episode 111.



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Take a listen.



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I also promised that I would share more about my biggest secret to



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my success and the career that I have had, and that is vitamin G.



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No, it's not a nutritional substance.



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It's not a medication.



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It is a supplement.



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It's a supplement to my own success, confidence, wisdom,



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but the supplement stands for G and



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vitamin G stands for girlfriends.



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That's right.



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Seriously, G stands for girlfriends, vitamin G is without a doubt one of



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the most essential supplements for us, for our well being and our success



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and the joy that we have in our lives.



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And when things are not joyful, having some extra vitamin G around



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you will help you recover much faster from any malady that you have.



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But seriously.



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It is a topic for deep consideration and it's not something that I knew



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instinctively when I was young.



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I've discussed this with friends, my daughters, my granddaughters,



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The value that I have learned over my lifetime of carefully cultivating and



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curating and celebrating those special friendships that lift me up, that support



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me to be the best version of myself.



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In fact, they push me to be even better than I think I can be.



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And they're always there to support me.



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And they are there to support me when I'm doubting myself or



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going through a challenging period



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in time.



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I think it's a,



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it's particularly important in business to make sure that you have,



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vitamin G applies to your personal life and your business life.



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In fact, all aspects of your life.



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And vitamin G can be family members or unrelated people.



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But whatever.



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But whoever you choose to make up your vitamin G component, it's the qualities



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in those people that are most important



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by investing in those relationships.



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The return on that investment is exponential for us



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when we are careful about respecting those



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relationships and giving back.



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Dr.



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Stephen Covey had a metaphor for relationships.



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He called them emotional bank accounts.



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I think that's a very good analogy



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to look at, that a friendship, a deep, important friendship



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You must make deposits in that relationship.



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You cannot only take withdrawals.



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And I've certainly learned over time that, it's not always 50 50.



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There will be some ebbs and flows in the balance of those deposits and withdrawals.



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But over time, it evens out.



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And in fact, the value of that friendship is compounded



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over time,



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so long as you both respect.



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that you are making those deposits with each other.



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But I've also learned,



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I've also observed that when a friendship starts to feel unbalanced,



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when I'm sensing that there's something not right, if there's a,



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if I'm starting to feel a little unsettled in a relationship,



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if I pause and reflect I usually notice that there have been more



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withdrawals than deposits on the other side of the friendship.



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And it's a matter of, and a lesson learned for me is to stop and



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take stock of that situation.



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Is it because my friend is going through an extraordinary time where



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she needs more from me than she is able to give to me at the moment?



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And what can I do to support her?



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How can I give her more deposits?



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However, there are times too, and unfortunately, often this is in hindsight,



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I recognize it, that those relationships that are all one sided, it's because the



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dynamics of the relationship have changed, and we've outgrown what we had in common.



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Her interests and mine have diverged.



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The stage in our lives,



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the, what we feel,



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the value that we give, the reciprocity between us changed.



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And that's a signal that the friendship has changed and it's time to look



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at it in a different perspective and a different priority in your life.



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I'm not suggesting that every time this happens that you immediately



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fire that friend, but I am suggesting that you're careful about watching for



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those signs that the relationship has changed and taking steps to end that



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relationship or change that relationship in a positive, controlled manner.



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I didn't take those precautions,



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I didn't have that wisdom before on a couple of occasions, and I got



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blindsided by relationships that I thought were my forever strongest ally,



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best friends, ride or die girlfriends,



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and realized too late, that feeling was no longer mutual, and I really felt hurt.



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surprised, disappointed by how the friendship devolved.



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So why are not all BFFs forever?



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And why do friendships change or come to an end?



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When you think about it, it's not all that surprising.



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It's not difficult really to understand why that is a



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probability or a possibility.



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And that's because we as people are growing and changing, not only our



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own emotional, professional, personal development and growth, but also



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Our interests, our activities, our priorities change, and so what you



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may have had in common, what you shared with that relationship in



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the past, may be recategorized now.



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And thinking about that, especially for women of a certain age, thinking



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about us at this age and stage in



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our life, it's more likely to happen.



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And although I've also recognized at this age in my life that definitely my



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relationships are about quality, not quantity, much more than ever before



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in my life, I have also noticed that there are fewer people that have exact,



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and I have observed that there are a lot more circumstances



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now that cause relationships to change, and maybe they don't.



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And perhaps they are not permanently changed, maybe they will come back



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together in the future, but thinking about it, at our age, retirement



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changes what people's interests are.



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Some of the circumstances that would affect relationships, close



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relationships at this time in our lives, are things like death.



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Some of the circumstances that affect Relationships and friendships at this time



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in our lives include people moving away.



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Perhaps they've sold their business or they have a seasonal residence elsewhere.



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Perhaps there's been a divorce or remarriage, which causes a new circle



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of Relationships and social connections perhaps it's retirement and now you no,



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no longer have in common the business conversations that you used to share



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and the entrance or the schedules, which of course, you know, being



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able to make time for each other is certainly an indication of health.



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Being able to make time for each other is certainly a barometer of



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the health of the relationship.



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Even the point of,



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as a woman business owner, they often, our social relation,



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as a woman business owner, often our social relationships, our close



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personal relationships, will come from our business environment.



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or even within our own organization.



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And as the business changes and grows, or your involvement or



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interest in your business changes.



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That puts a different dynamic, that places a different pressure on a



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friendship and a social relationship.



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So keep in mind that you may be ready to move on into other areas, but the



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people who considered you their BFF, or at least their pal are now feeling



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left behind because they're not part of your expansion and your new focus.



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It's true.



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Our bodies are changing.



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We have health issues, surgery.



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I just recently was off for a hip replacement.



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That changes my social life, of course, but it certainly did show to



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me those that were, and yet at the same time, it highlighted the vitamin G,



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and yet at the same time, That highlighted the vitamin G relationships that were



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most vested in me because they made sure that I was taken care of during



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that early recovery period when I really, I couldn't drive and I was



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feeling quite vulnerable and isolated.



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At our age, there are going to be more and more of these circumstances



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where either our own physical health changes what we're doing and what



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we're interested in, or that of a loved one that we need to care for.



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I have a friend right now who's away a great deal because her parents are,



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for instance, I have a very close friend now that I don't see



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much of because her parents are now



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For instance, I have a very close friend who I don't see much of right now because



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she has become the caregiver, the primary person, medical advocate for her parents



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who are aging and are not doing well in their health and so she's required



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to be where they live and to manage their affairs and be their advocate and



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that's an increasing factor today among my network of people



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and probably yours as well.



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So as we grow and as we age and as I Our business matures and our relationships



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and our physical health mature.



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So as our lives are changing, whether that's because our business is growing or



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so as ours, as our lives change including our business, which may be growing or



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struggling or in the midst of a grand pivot, as our personal lives change, our



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relationships, whether it's Empty Nest.



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or caring for aging parents or our own personal health or our relationships.



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Gray divorce is a big thing these days.



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This definitely affects what we need most in terms of support from our



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vitamin G network and understanding that The changing dynamics in relationships



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sometimes require us to reach out and



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accepting and understanding that these changes in our personal and



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business life impact our friendships and require us to evaluate if we can



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be a good friend or if we need someone else to be more prominent in our lives



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to support us through these changes.



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I'm still fiercely protective of my vitamin g network but I will share with



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you that some of those relationships have been decades and they're still strong and



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vibrant and the reciprocity is very even.



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And other relationships have come to an end, some abruptly, some with



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great sadness and disappointment, and others that just faded away quietly.



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And of course, it's not at all surprising that later on in life that



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person may come back into your life and you pick right up where you left.



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But recognizing where you're devoting your time now and who



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are the relationships that you are a good friend to are important.



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I developed a tool some years ago which I It was based on my own personal need



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to understand the changing dynamics in my relationships, and then I've gone



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on to use that with many of my clients.



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It's called the Friendship Health Checkup, and it really walks you



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through the thought process about what you need in a friendship, and if



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you, what you are giving in return, and if your friends and you are



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aligned in your life at the moment.



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I'd love to share that with you and make it available with my compliments so



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that you can do a little health checkup.



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Are your friends good friends for you?



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Are you a good and supportive friend for them?



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And if not, where do you need to make adjustments?



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Where do you, where should you reprioritize?



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Or where do you pull up your big girl panties and be a better friend?



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Or speak up and tell your friend that you're not feeling supported right now?



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I think that's important for us to say.



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If we are truly good friends, and that we care equally about



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each other's success and health.



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We can have those tough conversations and have a friendship that comes from



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that is even stronger than before.



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In this very busy world with a lot of stressors on our health and on our psyche,



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having the right healthy environment is even more important than ever.



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And supplemented that with some vitamin G and you can withstand anything as



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a seasoned woman in business or not.



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If you want the,



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if you'd like a free download of my Friendship Health Checkup, the



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details will be in the show notes below and please feel free to



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share it with your friends as well.



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And hey, you could use it as a conversation starter so that you both



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are feeling heard and appreciated in your vitamin G relationships.



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Now, continuing on our theme of why we, as seasoned women, are so badass.



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Next week I have the joy of sharing with you my mastermind partners and we're



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going to talk about what that experience has done for us over the past five years.



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So if you're interested in knowing what happens over five years in a relationship.



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If you'd like to know how to create a fabulously enduring,



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resilient, and mutually beneficial mastermind, listen in next week,



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subscribe, put on the notification so you don't miss the episode.



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We're going to share our recipe for a highly successful and enduring



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mastermind, five years in the running now, almost every single week of the year.



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Stay tuned.